All language subtitles for SP471PS_track5_eng

To Dean Of Admission, Princeton University.

The most influential person in my life...

ls Mother Teresa, whose example
helped me overcome the arrogance

which threatened after my 1 ,600 SAT score
and National Merit Scholarship.

My most influential person taught me
the most important word l've learned.

Aloha, which l...

To the Dean of Admission,
Princeton University.

From Cristina Moreno.

Most influential person, my mother.
No contest.

I think i have been pointing toward this essay

ever since the day, 12 years ago in Mexico,
when my father left.

Such was my mother's need to protect me,
that she would not let me see her cry.

The trick was, get over it
as quickly and privately as possible.

Such was my need to protect her,
that l never let on that l could hear her.

My mother kept us in Mexico
as long as possible

to root me in all things Latin.

Finally, she sensed
our last opportunity for change.

We would leave for America.

"One tear.

"Just one.

"So, make it a good one," she said.

She would be my Mexico.

Because this admissions essay
is open record,

let me just say
that our transportation into the United States

was economy class.

ln order to raise me properly,

my mother needed as much of the security
of her own culture as possible.

So, we rolled through Texas...

Just 34% Hispanic...

To Los Angeles,

48% Hispanic.

Look at the Detroit Pistons.

And your mother's saying, "Get up.
Get up, honey. Get up." But, no, what of it?

You can't see them. Why?
'Cause they're being killed,

they're being strangled
by the psychotic Raider fans.

What do you have in Oakland?
You got a bunch of psychotic...

A few minutes adrift
in an alien environment,

then we turned a corner,
and we were right back home.

My mother's favorite cousin,
Monica, gave us shelter.

For the next six years,

neither of us ventured outside
our new community.

Mom worked two jobs,
paying a total of $450 a week.

Each of us doing everything we could
to make things work.

We were safe and happy.

lf only l could have stayed six.

But l was blossoming.

And during my very first dance,

in the time it took a boy's hand
to go from my back to my bottom,

it was evident
that she would have to leave her night job

to keep a watchful eye on me.

Within days,
she was on her way to a job interview.

She needed $450 from one job.

And that meant, after all her time in America,

finally entering a foreign land.

Hello?

Yeah, hi. We're here for
the interview with Mrs. Clasky?

Great, great. You made it.

Come on in. The front door's open
and we're out back. Okay?

-And call me Deborah.
-Okay.

Holding out had helped, though.

She was no longer intimidated.

Working for Anglos now posed no problems.
lt would just be a job.

White America beckoned.

She stepped across the cultural divide.

-Gee whiZ in heaven, are you okay?
-No. Don't worry, l'm not mad.

l've been looking for decoration
to put up on the glass,

so people would stop walking into it.

lnstead of taking what they had in stock,
which was awful, l special ordered and l...

You know what?
l'm just gonna design something myself,

which is
what l should've done in the first place...

And what does that matter
when your nose is bleeding?

-Oh, gosh, shut up, Deborah.
-Now you got it, Mom.

-There's no ice pack, Bern.
-So, get anything frozen.

Pressure, pressure. Just pressure.

Take this.

ls it strange that l just gave you money?
l just felt really badly.

lt's okay.

Chum, knock it off!

l'm sorry about the way the place looks.

You know, l'm hosting
a fundraiser for the school tonight.

lt's just a mess. A couple hours away.
Just come sit right here.

Here you go. Okay.

Yeah, just... That's great.

Yeah, just toss it.

Well, she's my cousin.

She has been here for a while
and she understands some,

but doesn't really speak English,
but, well, anyway...

She lives in the apartment l manage and...

-So, who am l interviewing?
-Her.

You're gorgeous.

She didn't mean it as a compliment.
lt's more of an accusation.

-Mother.
-Go ahead.

-l'm sorry. This is my daughter, Bernie...
-Hi.

-And my mother, Evelyn Wright.
-Evelyn.

Do you guys want to come in out of the sun?
You wanna?

No, we're fine.

You need some sunscreen? l got a 70 here.

She loves the sun.

Look, we're wearing the same sweater.
That's good booga-booga.

You want some lemonade, maybe?

Lemonade, please?
Would you like to take some? Both of you?

Okay, let's just talk.

Well, l have two children,
and my husband is a chef,

a top chef, like that makes me something.

-Anyway, he works nights, so...
-Do you work?

Yes. No. Not right now. Why?
How do you know to ask that?

Well, it's okay. l can talk about it. l just...

l helped run a commercial design company
up until four months ago

when it was downsized to zip.

-And now, l'm a full-time mom. Gulp.
-Double gulp.

Anyway, l have two children.
My son Georgie is nine, Bernie you know,

and l like the house to be like me,
you know...

l'm very loose
and meticulous at the same time.

But it's all about
first names and closeness here.

Let her know, absolutely.
But l do care about the place.

l'm so sorry,
l'm not leaving you time to translate.

What's your name?

Llamo. lt's one of my five Spanish words.

-Flor Moreno.
-Floor?

-Flor.
-Floor?

No, Flor.

-Floor.
-Flor.

-lt means "flower," right?
-Yes, flower, yes.

-Floor. What l walk on, right?
-Flor.

-Flor.
-Flor.

ls there some school of the ear

that l'm flunking out of right now?

What'd she say?

She says if you curl your tongue
and then let it be loose,

that you'll get it
and that it's really hard for Americans

and that it's great that you try so hard,
because most people wouldn't bother.

She gets me.

Flor.

Dense, but stubborn, right?

Now, see what you just did for me?
That is just what kids need.

Patience and encouragement.

All right, money.

-Goodbye. Look forward to seeing you.
-Love you.

So, the job is six days a week.
Seven, eight, 1 2 hours, it depends.

All the housekeeping, driving the kids.
How much a week do you want?

-Whatever you say.
-No.

No. This is a very important question

because if you ask for too little,
it means you don't value yourself.

You ask for too much,
it means you're taking advantage. So?

One thousand dollars.

She's kidding.

$650.

Welcome to the family.

Come on. l want to show you around.

Yeah, yeah. Come on, come on, come on.

l had never known that my mother
had been chronically worried about money

until the first glimpse of her
as financially unburdened.

Can we have a table for two, please?

-We're celebrating.
-Okay, right this way.

ls this good?

You're welcome.

Here you go. Here you go. Enjoy.

You're welcome.

Expensive.

Excuse me?

Those men would like to buy you a drink.

Thank you.

-No, gracias.
-Okay.

Sorry.

This is so embarrassing.

My mother said to tell them,
"Who do you think you are?

"Can't you see l'm with my daughter,
for God's sakes?"

Good.

She said, "Who do you think you are?"

She's with her daughter, for God's sake.
Her young daughter.

Passing on the left.

Left.

Morning, Flor. See you up there. Left.

Left!

Hey!

Hey. Will you try this?

lsn't that good?

Okay, think seriously about getting up.

You don't have to get up yet,
but are you thinking seriously about it?

-Yes.
-Okay.

My God! This is amazing.

A simple "it's good" will do.

l mean, that...

l'm glad you like it.

By the way, you could do without this.

No! No!

Flor, never do fetch to Chum. Never!

l'm not mad, l'm not mad. l'm thinking of you.

This is me being nice.

Okay. lt's just...

No taking the ball from the dog. Just don't.
No fetch.

No. Never do fetch with this dog.
Okay? Never.

Here, can you make us
some coffee, maybe? Yeah?

Okay. Right. Thank you.

-Now?
-Yes, actual up.

Hey, Dad!

Are you as mad at me as Mom
'cause of what happened?

No, Georgie, l'm not.

Are you mad at me?

-No.
-Good.

Let's hope.

When it comes to the kids, John,
we got to stay on the same page, you know?

United. Doing consistent,
consistent parenting.

Do you know
how many books on parenting l've read?

Deb, since high school, we've been able
to read each other. Take advantage of it.

Word for word,
what did you say to Georgie exactly?

"No, l'm not mad."

Good guy. Bad guy.

Come on.

What the hell are you doing?
Everything's okay.

-John.
-Yes?

Do you really think that cupping my breast

-is going to solve the issue here?
-lt's worked before.

Well, now, it's infuriating me.

-Wrong breast.
-Oh, my God.

No, no, no, no, no.
l know what you mean, okay?

Oh, my God. Don't do the calm thing.
Just don't go there. Don't do that thing.

Oh, my God. Here we go.

This is very important to you. Us, us.

l just like to level with Georgie.
That's why l answered him this way.

-This is not an argument, honey.
-Yes, yes, it is!

We're having a fight, John.
A big fight, at last!

So, could you stop
being so stark raving calm?

Great God in heaven, save me.

Hi.

l didn't know Deb found somebody.
You work here?

You're gonna help out
with the house and the kids?

You work here
and you don't speak any English at all?

All she has to do is dial 91 1
and press two for Spanish.

This is...

Flor, this is Georgie and this is John.
John, this is Flor.

Flor.

Great. l'll take Georgie to school.

No, no. l'm doing it.
l'm gonna show Flor the ropes.

Flor, will you come with me, please?

Yeah. Okay.

Flor, just... Yeah.

Come, come. Thank you.

-She's mad.
-You're fine. Deb?

-What?
-You love me!

Okay.

-Not the best place to stand, fella.
-No, it's me. l'm bugged.

l'm sorry.

Not a problem.
You're the new helper, Alex, right?

Okay, welcome. First day.

John, John, John,
l have something very important to tell you.

-Damn.
-What? What? What? What?

Victor recognized a food critic
over the phone.

-From?
-The Times.

Yes?

l'll bet they sent her across the country
just for us.

-Hey, listen, if you're nervous, take a walk.
-l don't need a walk.

l'll walk with you. l know a breathing thing.

What do you think l'm worried about?
How l'm gonna cook?

That's not the thing. That's not the problem.

l worked at a restaurant in New York
that had four stars.

lt was like a line formed
to become an asshole.

People's accents changed.

The heart went out of the place.
You understand?

-No.
-l agree with everything you just said.

l admire you for your feelings.
l hope to adopt them as my own.

Here we are, ladies.

l don't know what to root for.

The thought of one star gets me nauseous,
but with four, there's no place to go,

but, "Oh, my God,
they took away one of my stars."

-The Times liked the first course.
-You know what you want?

Three and a quarter stars.
Yes, that would be perfect.

lt'd mean you're good,
but not good enough to feel disappointed

you just missed out on excellence.

You still get enough respect.
Good people wanna work with you.

Business is good, not crazy.

You're right there below the radar,
where you get to mind your own business.

That's a good, solid life.

Big wipe.

Well, l'm in the vitamin section,

and this little hip-hop girl, what's her name?

Nice surprise, thank you. You want some?

This little hip-hop girl,
what's her name? Grammys.

She's famous. You kids know her. Darn.

God bless the language barrier.
lt keeps you from being bored with me.

Anyway, well, she said,

-"Aren't you Evelyn Wright?"
-Oh, my God!

First of all,
that she remembered me from the old covers.

Yeah.

And then she...

-Please! Her name!
-Stop it.

-lt makes the story so much better.
-lt's still a good story.

She said,

"Whenever l think everything's..."

Pardon my French, pardon her French.
"A mother...

"l put on one of your records."

-Oh, my God.
-That is so sweet.

Well, you think your life is embarrassing,

and then somebody
finds encouragement in it.

-You understand?
-l think l do.

Mom, it's not even noon.

-This is going to work.
-l don't know anything.

Free your mind.

"The president whose policies

"many consider responsible
for the Great Depression."

l don't know.

-Name a vacuum cleaner.
-What?

-Okay, l got it.
-Hoover!

-l said l had it. You don't trust me?
-Okay.

l no longer know nothing.

And Hoover was followed in office by...

l'm just drawing blanks. l'm embarrassed.
lt's my own fault.

l spent all my time on math,
which l'm lucky if l don't flunk, anyway.

Stop it.

The man you're looking for is not a ruse.

-What does "ruse" mean?
-Phony.

-Roo...
-Roosevelt!

lf l'd ever heard of that word before,
that would lock it in.

-Hey, surprise! New clothes!
-What?

-What did l do right?
-lt was a warehouse sale.

l went nuts. l got so much stuff.

Great. She needed a boost!

Yeah. No, that came together.
l wouldn't wear it together, it's a little much.

Eight?

What?

-Eight.
-What? What? What?

Eight. Eight.

-Bernie, come on. Listen.
-What's going on?

Bernie, you're gonna do it,
and you're gonna look beautiful.

Honey, l just...
You are going to lose that weight, and...

You know,
l'm glad you didn't get here earlier,

because then l wouldn't be able to tell you

that your gift to me is a ruse.

-Honey, l...
-Please, just excuse me.

-Hey, Bernie...
-l just wanna...

l just need to be alone right now, okay?
l'm sorry. lt's okay.

We have to be able to endure this, John,
if we're gonna help her.

l'll just gonna hang out here
and wait for you, okay?

Her pediatrician intervened on
his own daughter's weight, and she is an 8.

Dad, don't.
Didn't you everjust need a minute?

Yes.

This is the same page
that l'm talking about, John.

We gotta be on the same page.
That's the most important thing.

You and l need to be on the same page.

-l don't know why it has to be so hard.
-l need a minute.

John, she's right between the two sizes.
l thought about it.

What am l supposed to do?

Encourage her denial,
or motivate her to get herself in shape?

Flor?

-Me go.
-Yeah, okay.

l'll take you to the bus stop.

Sorry, l didn't even help you with the door.
No, l meant l was...

My mother did not understand her male boss.

He seemed as upset as she was
over what had been done to Bernice...

Shit!

...and yet had done nothing.

l am running out of excuses
for the lady of the house!

But, man, Bernice's final is tomorrow.
She didn't need this one.

And just the look on her face
when she got the gifts.

Like for one second she thought

all her problems with her mother
had been solved.

He appeared to be a good man,

but to someone with first-hand knowledge
of Latin macho,

he seemed to have
the emotions of a Mexican woman.

She had no idea how to react, except to flee.

What're you doing? We're still moving.

l'll take you all the way to the bus stop.

You got to let me take you all the way.

l'll take you.

All the way.

How weird was this ride?

Sorry. l'm sorry.

Yes, yes, you are released. Yes.

Bye-bye.

All right.

A simple request from my mother startled me.
Her rules were bending.

She was losing her battle
to remain uninvolved with the Claskys.

Try it on.

Try...

Just. Just try it on.

Just try on.

Just.

-Just.
-Just.

There is one particular cultural difference,

which l wish to explore academically
at Princeton.

American women, l believe,

actually feel the same as Hispanic women
about weight.

A desire for the comfort of fullness.

And when that desire is suppressed for style

and deprivation allowed to rule,
dieting, exercising American women...

Left!

...become afraid of everything
associated with being curvaceous.

Such as wantonness, lustfulness...

Left!

-...sex...
-Passing on the left.

...food,

motherhood.

All that is best in life.

Hey.

Hey!

Yeah, well, taste, she has.

Just try it on.

When did you learn to speak English?

Just try it on.

lt's too tight. lt doesn't fit.

Bernice, just try it on. Hey.

lt's too small. l'm too big.

-Just try it on! Just...
-Okay. Okay.

l'll show you.

Thanks!

Lovely way to start the day.

The world's most trim Mexican
learns her first sentence

and uses it to watch me grunt my way

into a...

-lt fits.
-Okay.

No. No. No.

Hey.

Okay.

Well, thanks.

Okay.

-Again.
-Again.

-l was wrong
-l was wrong

-Now life is lonely again
-Life is lonely again

-And only last year
-And only last year

-Everything seemed so sure
-Everything seemed so sure

-Now life is awful again
-Now life is awful again

-A truffle of hearts
-A truffle of hearts

-Could only be
-Could only be

Whatever happened to Fr�re Jacques
or ltsy Bitsy Spider?

-Make room.
-l know.

But every time he has a nightmare,
l teach him one of my old songs.

And that way,
his nightmares have a purpose.

But l don't have to sing it for anyone.

Right, you're clear on that.

How many did you sell
of this song, Grandma?

He likes to know that stuff.

She was huge.

Here goes.

76,000, which is great for a jazz album.

Jesus.

Fuck you.

Dad! Dad! Dad!

For God's sake, why are you screaming?

Why, crazy father, why aren't you screaming?

l'm working on it.
Just the stunned thing has to get dealt with.

"John Clasky..."

-No, no, no...
-Yes, yes, yes.

"John Clasky, who, at 25

"made his mark
on the New York restaurant scene

-"has re-emerged...
-Okay, okay.

"...as a young and confident veteran

"taking chances with his combinations..."

-Dad.
-Your sister's talking.

"Beginning with a succession of appetizers
is constantly, yet casually daring."

Dad, this is so great.

Oh, my God.

Wait, l think, here it is.

"Eating at this perfect, smaller,
passionate restaurant

"inspires one's own abandonment
of caution.

"To wit...

"John Clasky is the best chef
in the United States."

-Look how great you read it.
-Perfect, Dad.

Come here.

John, four stars. Oh, my God.

You even look different to me.

l wonder what Mom will do?

l read it! l read it!

All right. All right. What is this?

l don't know. l don't know.

l'm just so happy for you
and all your hard work.

Oh, my goodness.

Okay. All right.

Don't worry. l'll wait for you.

Nice move!

We are so smooth! Right on! Yes!

Ladies and gentlemen,
the mother of two children! Look at that.

-You look good.
-You...

You're too beautiful. lt's ridiculous.

-l like you.
-Okay, okay, l love you.

Go. Go. All right.

-Okay.
-All right.

You don't even need me, do you?

Just go. Now she's on. lt's all you!

-Yeah, yeah, yeah!
-Yes, that's right. Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, don't get sad. You had fun, l swear.

Deb, cheer up. Deb, cheer up.

No, no, no.

-What am l going to do about me?
-No. Honey, Honey...

No, no, no. No, not yet!

Great sex.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Hi.

-lt's John Clasky.
-Okay.

"l read your good review."

l read your good review.

-They read me your good review.
-Okay.

-Nice.
-Not so far.

l'm sorry. How are you doing?

l do fine.

Be happy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

-Congratulations. Good job.
-Chef. Chef.

-l need to talk to you.
-Oh, man. Okay.

-You deserved it.
-You were terrific. Terrific.

And congratulations. You guys worked hard.
Way to go.

Pietro, what's wrong? What's doing?

l've gotten a fantastic offer for my own place.

Everyone wants to back me
since the paper came out.

l can't lose you
and keep the hours l'm keeping.

l can't do my life unless l hold onto you.

l think l just gave you
an incredible bargaining position.

So, you gave away 20% of the restaurant

without even talking to me about it?

l had to, right then, or l would have lost him.

Then l wouldn't have
enough time with the family.

-l don't exist.
-Sure you do.

l was all worried, just trying to
figure out the timing to talk to you

about renting a place for the summer.

l think you have your timing.

-Mom, the realtor's here. You coming?
-Go on.

All right, l'll be back later.

-Hi.
-Hi there.

-l'm Mike.
-Deborah. Hi.

There's a great rental
that just came on the market,

so we're starting at the top.

-Okay.
-Good.

l'm never gonna be one of those girls
whose hair

flows perfectly in a convertible.

Move your seat forward.

-l just...
-Yeah.

A little more. Good.

You must be trouble.

Look at this.

lsn't it gorgeous?

lt's beautiful. lt's fabulous. Perfect.

What word is the same in Spanish?

Thank you.

So, this will be your room, okay?

And don't worry.
l'm gonna put lots of nice stuff in here, too.

No, l...

Did you ask her if she could live in?

Come on. There's no buses from her to here.

There's no question. Double come on.
The barrio, Carbon Beach.

The barrio, Carbon Beach.
What to do? What to do?

Come on, it's going to be so great. Come on.
Come on.

l'm gonna get someone
to explain everything to you. Come on.

You must learn English.
Why won't she learn English?

Be careful.

l'm gonna have to learn
"You must learn English" in Spanish.

Excuse me?

-Excuse me, do you speak English?
-Yes, l do.

All right. Then would you please help me?
Will you translate for me with her?

-Sure.
-Okay.

-Sure. Forever.
-He's gonna...

Give me a minute.

Okay. Hi.

Now, l've rented a house for the summer,

and so, she needs to sleep at the house
because of the bus schedule.

-No, sorry.
-What? Why? Why? Why?

She can't because her daughter...

You have a daughter?

A whole daughter you've never mentioned?

This is a little crazy that l don't know this.

No, don't translate asides.

She said she can't live here.

-Because her daughter...
-l got that.

Her daughter can also live here
for the summer. Go, tell her that.

Deborah, if she didn't tell us about her child,
she has to have a deep sense of privacy.

We can figure out
how she can still live at home.

Hell, l don't mind driving her at night.

Let's spare the world
you on the roads, okay?

What am l gonna do?

l'm sorry, my friend, but this is what l need.

lt's just for the summer.

l don't want to lose you, but...

She said she live here with you.

Hey, Cristina!

Malibu! Malibu!

The first time one sees natural beauty
which is privately owned,

oceans as people's backyards,
confounds the senses.

Oh, my gosh.

l didn't know God had a toy store for the rich.

The beaches are so clean. lt's beautiful.

Three months? Three months!

We're gonna be staying here
for three months!

Three months!

We're gonna be staying at this beach
for three months! This is amazing!

You want to go swimming?

Flor...

Look at this child.

Oh, God, you could make a fortune
at surrogate pregnancy.

How you doing? l'm John.

-Hello.
-Great.

Come on out and meet everybody. Bernie.

l'm Deborah,
and this is my daughter, Bernice.

-Hi.
-Hi.

And here's Georgie.

-And my mother, Evelyn Wright.
-So glad to meet you.

No comparisons, please. No comparisons.

l'm not even gonna respond to that.
Come here.

Okay. My mom says it's best if we just go...

Get out of your way
and put our things away.

Yes, go get settled.

Thank you so much. l'm thrilled to be here.

Okay, here's the idea.

l need to make a serving platter
for serving fish out of sea glass like this.

All right?

Just bits of broken glass
that the ocean sand

just blasts over the years.

So, here's the deal.
You guys go hunting for it.

l'll give you 50 cents for any piece you find.

A dollar for any piece
that's bigger than that sucker right there.

All right, $5 for any piece
that isn't brown, clear, or green.

-Do we really have to do this?
-What?

-Come on.
-Let's go! Let's do this! Have fun!

-Come on, Chum. Let's go.
-Go get them, kid.

-Me, too?
-Yes, of course.

Thank you!

Oh, my God, Georgie!

Hey!

Cristina, hey! Up here! Over here!

Cristina...

What's wrong?

She's wild-eyed over this.

Flor? Flor?

l'm sorry. Very sorry.

Listen, she'll be back shortly.

No, no, no, you don't have to work.
Give me that.

Okay. There.

Here.

Thanks.

Deb made a mistake.

l understand how you feel.

Do you understand
what l'm saying right now, at all?

-No.
-Good. ls simp�tico the word?

All right.

That's ltalian.

l really am sorry that this is happening.

l just wanted you to know that.

l really... So sorry. Truly.

l didn't mean like...

l meant just a normal sorry.

So, l'm going to go to work.

Thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

-Thank you so much for taking me there.
-Gee, stop thanking me.

l really... l enjoyed having the company.

The flea market was just...

l don't know what to say. lt was just...

So many things.

And you.
You knew so much about all of them.

The way you made those people
lower the prices, though.

l just think that you're...

-Never mind.
-No, go ahead. l can take it.

l just think that you're...

The most amazing white woman
that l've ever met.

That is so nice to hear.

Absurd, but deeply appreciated, Cristina.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much.
That was so fun.

-This was the best day ever.
-What?

Did something bad happen?

Cristina, tell your mother
those wash right out. lt's no big deal.

Not right now.

What in the... l mean...

You can't just take someone else's kid
and then take them off and...

Don't go there. Or l'll go there,
and you know where "there" is.

Can you believe what a big deal
Flor is making this into?

lt's just... Please, shoot me
if l ever become that hard to deal with.

-What's this?
-For you.

From?

Okay. Look, you are not yourself.

This was written in anger. Will you hold on?

Just look, sleep on it.
You still want me to have it, that's fine.

-Take the letter.
-l don't think that you will.

Once calm and rational thought returns.
Just sleep on it.

-Take the letter, Deborah.
-Just sleep on it.

She didn't even want us to know
she had a daughter.

And on the first day,
you take her kid away without even asking?

-l think that's a little...
-What?

lnsensitive? Elitist?

Narcissistic? lrresponsible? Perverse?
Dizzy? What?

Stupid.

When is anyone in this damn house,

in this damn life,
gonna consider my feelings?

l just tried to make a lovely kid feel welcome.
There is no reason to rake this over.

l let it go and gave Flor the room to let it go,
which l'm sure she has.

lt's over, so, just get on board, pal!

l slept.

Well, l'm broke.

No, please. Don't worry about it.
You really don't have to pay me.

-Please, don't worry about it.
-l'm just kidding. l'm just kidding.

Hey, so,

-when you count it up, give me a holler.
-l did count.

Many, many times. l didn't sleep. l counted.

All right, what do l owe you? Give it to me.

$640.

-Really?
-Yes.

-l'm really sorry.
-No.

All right. l don't know.

How about
we figure this out tomorrow, okay?

You even told me, you said that $5...

l know, l know, l know, l promised.

lt's all coming back to me now.
Let me just go deal with this.

Cristina?

Oh, baby.

My mother wishes for me to represent
exactly what she says.

-Nothing else.
-What?

-May l talk to you?
-You mean your mother?

Yeah. Sure.

You can talk to me.

l don't have to sleep first?

What's wrong? Come on, come on, sit down.

l'm sorry.
Did you give this money to my daughter?

l made a deal with the kids. All the kids.

Oh, no. Please!

You don't tell or ask the mother
when you give a child a fortune

for looking on the beach for stones?

-What is the word for this?
-Sea glass.

No, not a name for the stones.

A name for the action, what you did.

Oh, boy, engre�do is gonna be rough.

Smug.

l had no idea
it was going to amount to that much money.

l thought, sort of tops, $50.

But $50 is a lot of money.

l know. l know. l know.

Oh, shit!

l'm sorry. Come on.

l get what you're upset about.

Excuse me.

lt might not look it,
but l am good at getting things.

l know what it's like
when you feel your kid's being messed with.

lt won't happen again.

lt won't.

-All right.
-Okay!

lt's late. You guys get some sleep.

Sleep?

No!

lf this was small enough to be helped
by some little apology,

l would be a fool to bring it up.

But l need to say, no matter what the result,

l need to be impolite!

You leave someone else's child alone.

lt is simple, no?

lt is too easy for children
to feel contradiction.

And it encourages questioning their parents.

And that makes them feel less safe!

Look.

Your wife takes her for little tours.

And she changes her hair.

And you give her money.

Here, take back the money?

l didn't really mean to be angry to you.
Only emotional, for me.

What about hypocritical?

Yes, you heard me.
lt's not like you didn't do the same thing.

-No.
-Yes, you did.

So, why don't you go lecture yourself?
You won't need a translator for that one.

What am l lately, a recycling bin?

Anybody dump in your garbage,
hope l make something useful out of it?

Yes, yes, you did the same thing.

You think l don't know
about you altering those outfits for Bernie?

She tells me her stuff.
So, am l missing something?

ls there really a difference between that
and what you're complaining about?

Excuse me.

There's no difference. l interfered.

You're kidding me?

lt's just pretty wild
to say something to somebody

and have the other person
just concede the point.

l'm dazed here.

l feel really embarrassed.

And you were very right. Hypocrisy, yes.

Okay, that doesn't happen very often.

She said that we'll leave
whenever it is good for you.

No, no, no! Come on, man.

But how can l keep working for you
after we talked like this?

You can't quit the job.

Even if you wanted to. And you know why.

-No.
-Yes, you do.

You know.

Why?

Because if you do,

Cristina will blame herself
for costing you the job.

And that guilt,

l don't know if you know about guilt.

Guilt, s�, we know. We're Catholics.

-We know.
-We know.

You can't do that to her.

Welcome back.

Goodnight.

You can't be translating for me all the time.
l need to learn English now.

l really wasn't supposed to translate that.

Listen to your mother. She knows it all.

Learning English would cost $599 down

and 12 monthly payments of $86,

which represents 22% interest.

Assimilation gets expensive.

Got it?

But not a penny was wasted.

Food.

-l am just learning English.
-l am just learning English.

-Please repeat.
-Please repeat.

-Neck.
-Neck.

-Nose.
-Nose.

Go! No!

Okay!

lt is summer...

-Winter...
-Winter...

-Spring.
-Spring.

Sun.

-Sunny.
-Sunny.

-No.
-Several.

-Several.
-Several.

-Again.
-Several.

Good. Several.

-Too many.
-Too many.

Right. Too many.

How about a movie tonight?

Have you any particular one in mind?

l really enjoyed the Stars Wars trilogy

by Mr. George Lucas.

Congratulations, John.

Chef, it just keeps building.

Sorry.

So, should we just stop
answering the phone?

-We're booked for four months solid.
-No.

l want to keep some walk-in business.
l want this to stay neighborhood.

-The trick is stay the same.
-lmpossible, John. There'd be riots.

You should hear
the desperation in their voices.

This is the best time of your life.

Yes, that includes our 5:30 seating as well.

l know. Could you hold for one minute?

We'll serve the full menu at the bar.

Where will l put people waiting for a table?
lt won't work, John.

-Just do this for me.
-There's no way.

Do this for me, or l'll set my hair on fire
and start punching myself in the face!

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

That was an unusual way
for me to make myself understood.

Phone.

-lt's Mike.
-Great.

Yeah, l'm just walking right out the door.
Okey-dokey. Okay, thanks.

Great. Thank you.

Thank you for the ride home,
but it was not necessary.

All right, yes.

Four stars
and l've never been more unhappy.

Up. Up. Yes.

Yes. Yes.

He's got this. lncredible obstacle.

l don't know what to wear to the party.

-l don't know what to wear to the party.
-l'm wearing jeans.

l'm wearing jeans.

Do you want to wearjeans?

No.

What are you wearing to the party?

Who's always there for you
at 2:30 in the morning? Chum!

You'd better do something about Chum.
You're gonna throw your arm out.

Don't you sleep anymore?

The more you do it, the more you learn.

Flor, you're doing fantastic.

-No.
-Yes.

Now l am like a 2-year-old.

No, no, no.

l finish.

No, no, no, keep going, keep going.
No, not until you finish it.

Your wife go out.

-Did she say where?
-No.

Sorry.

Hey, listen, she's...

l forgot she was going out.
Don't be a smart-ass.

l'm sorry.

You and l,
we communicate in apologies anyway.

So, l'm sorry. l should be whipped.

l should be stoned. lt's been a while.

l meant to say don't be smart...

Not a smart-ass.

Don't be kind.

Don't be sensitive.

Don't be wonderful.

Don't...

l'm way too close. l'm sorry again.

l meant to say, "Hi, Flor."

Goodnight, Flor.
That show you're watching is gonna be a hit.

Hey, pal, you want to...

Go, Chum. No, no. Chum, no.

Go to him. Go. Go to him.

Oh, man, you do love me. l was wondering.

What about the point l'm making?
lt's good, right?

l mean,
Cristina has already read, on her own,

every book on Bernice's summer reading list.

And she's two grades behind her.

Can you imagine
if she went to Bernice's school?

l think l could probably get her
a scholarship. God knows they owe me.

-Talk to Flor.
-Yeah. She's so open to new things.

-Where're you going?
-l'm going out. l am...

lt's this whole... Anyway, you know what?
l'm probably actually gonna be in...

The cell is gonna be bad,
so l'll just check in with you later.

l just can't find my keys.

Good morning, Ms. Folsom.

-Deborah.
-Arlene, what a surprise.

This is Cristina,
the girl l am always raving to you about.

Cristina, this is Arlene Folsom,
she's the School Director.

-Hi.
-Hello, a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Folsom.

-Would you like a little tour?
-Really?

Great.

She's gorgeous, isn't she?

Hispanic.

We ran into the head of the school
and Cristina knocked her out.

l had nothing to do with it.

lncidentally, the scholarship is worth $20,000

and early registration is tomorrow.

lt's too far from my home.

You could move in to town with us.

Never, thank you.

Fine, then don't.

By the way, the phrase is "No, thank you."

Mom was caught in a vise of manipulation.

Please, dear God,
this is the most important prayer of my life.

lt's about my education.
The health of my brain.

Please, dear God, enter my mother's heart.

Make her understand
what this school means.

-Hi, Flor.
-Hi.

-Want some port?
-No, thank you, Evelyn.

-How you doing?
-Hi.

l was just leaving.

Okay, bye...

What? Okay.

-Poor guy.
-What?

Nobody noticed.

Flor?

Thanks for neverjudging me.

l love you. l love everybody.
That's what's killing me.

May l talk with you?

Me?

l just spoke to Deborah. She'll be back soon
if you need to go over something.

l need to really talk. ls okay?

-No.
-No, no, no. Sure, sure, sure.

Sure. l'm sorry.

-Outside?
-Okay.

You have me a little nervous here.

Are we ever gonna stop? Just asking.

You know about Cristina
and your private school?

That.

-They did it.
-l don't know what to do.

Don't ask me.
l'm worried about my own kid going there.

Because they keep sending her home
anxiety-ridden, mostly over geometry.

l mean, you get Bernice.

ln a decent world, her school
should let her know how great she is, right?

You don't have to worry about Bernice.

Nothing is going to change that heart.

Yeah, thanks.

lt's just...

...great to hear someone else
say that out loud.

Hard to explain.

l know.

l'm sorry. l take you here and...

-l make too much of this, right?
-No.

You have a right to worry about this.

This is the job. These are the decisions.

Worrying about your children is sanity.

And being that sane, the way you are,
can drive you nuts.

Someone like you, l'm sorry.

lf you think you're at some crossroads,
you are.

You are.

Hey, l wish l could help you more.

l never know a man who can put himself
in my place like you do.

How did you become that man?

l don't know.

Would you get out of the damn wind?
Sit down.

l didn't mean to... l want to be helpful.

lt must be hard being a widow,
doing it on your own.

Why do you think l am a widow?

l guess l thought...

That would be the only way
a guy would leave you.

So, okay... Are you gonna send her?

l don't know.

l think if l do, one of two things happens.

-Either she will be odd?
-Odd, yes.

Or she will make herself the same as them.

l felt the same way about my kid going there.

So, between odd and the same,
you gotta be rooting for odd, don't you?

Yes, you gotta.

-Thank you. Goodnight. l go to sleep.
-Hey!

You speaking English, it's...

-What?
-Nothing.

lt's nice meeting you.

Here they are.

Hey, you guys just made it.
l was getting worried.

Hi, hi, hi.

l picked up your books yesterday.

l just put them in one of Bernie's old,
ancient backpacks.

Thank you. This is gonna be a great school.
l can tell by the weight.

l got herjust a little
first-day-at-a-new-school present.

lt's just a little something
from me and Bernie.

lt's okay, right? Come on, it's a big day.

What did we get her?

Wait, wait, wait.

-Here it comes.
-Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

lt's from all of us. Your mom, too.

lt's not from me.

Okay. Let's get going! Don't be late!
Come on!

Thank you so much for this opportunity.

And everything.

Have a great year, girls.

This is so great.

Left!

-No left!
-Left!

Left!

Hey! You're fast! Better pace yourself.

You know, l ran college track. Watch out.

Look, they're delivering my table.

See you.

l love you for trying!

When people exist under one roof,
a tiny society forms,

the stuff of novellas,

masters and servants
unconsciously dancing in lock step.

So that when things go wrong,

traumas converge.

At Mrs. Clasky's urging, l had invited
two of my friends to her house,

though l was expected at home.

Monica had finally managed
to get her mother here from Mexico

and my mother was making a party.

Flor? Deb. Hey, sorry to call you so late.

But the girls are still studying
and l gotta go out.

l know that l promised to get her back to you,

so, if you want me to cut off the schoolwork,

that's fine, whatever you want.

Let me think.

Okay, you think about it.

And, hey, listen, Flor, if you're tired,

or you want to play, then just...

Let her sleep here tonight, no?
l'll get her back to you in the morning.

Yes! You can stay!

You think about it. Call me back. Bye.

Wait! l need to talk to you privately, honey.

"Honey?" No, Mother. l can't right now.

l'm really late.
l've been looking all over for you.

Will you keep an eye on the kids?
You've got my secret cell number.

-Just give me a moment to talk here.
-What is it, are you buzzed?

No. l gave up drinking weeks ago.

Yes. Nobody noticed.

Which shows l probably conducted myself
pretty well as a drunk.

But duty called, and l'm sober.

So, may l say just one thing?

-Yes, Mother, one thing. Go ahead.
-Thank you.

Deborah,

you are going to lose your husband

if you don't stop what you are doing.

And you will never find someone as good.

There'll only be men
who you know are cheap and shallow

and have no real warmth in their souls.

You may have gotten by
on those surfaces once, but now,

you have been spoiled by a good man.

lf you do not act quickly,

you will soon cement
an awful fate for yourself.

A life with no hope of repair.

Which has already
begun to turn desperate and dumb.

That's it. Drive carefully.

Out of coffee. lt's over for me.

You've done it again, Mother.
Made me hate myself.

One of the things l can count on.

Honey,

lately, your low self-esteem
is just good common sense.

-John.
-Hey, Evelyn.

Better wait a minute.

-What the hell is wrong?
-Nothing.

Can l urge you, in all hopelessness,
not to go in there?

Deb?

Deb? Deb?

Deb?

-Where are you?
-Over here.

Baby, what?

-Just stay there, John.
-What? What? What?

l suddenly get what l gotta do,
but l just gotta get up the guts.

ls it absolutely necessary
to make it this scary?

Can you just say it?

lt's not so easy.

Yeah. Come on, it's me. We can talk.

-Do l ever hope so.
-All right. Don't cry.

Or cry, cry, cry. l'm sorry.

Come on. What is it?

l've been seeing another man
for the last 1 1 weeks.

And it was nothing and l ended it tonight.

At first, it was just keeping an eye
on the real estate market, and then it was

me being insecure and
searching for some ridiculous validation.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

l'm missing what you're saying.

l... Hey, are you...

Okay, you can't keep talking

and expect me to follow it
when you start the way you did.

Just what did you hear?

There was a crack in the planet.

That was noisy.

Oh, man.

There's an actual noise in my head.
No kidding.

l met him about a...

lf you talk that fast, l'm not gonna hear you.

There's a lot going through my mind
right now.

Have you said yet,
whether you slept with him?

No, so far, l've just been talking
about a flirtation. lt's really...

Have you said whether you had sex
with another person?

Because l really am missing your words,
so help me out here.

l've been trying to explain
that for the first 1 0 weeks...

You still haven't said yet, right?

-ls this your way...
-Yes, yes! This is my way!

This is my way of asking you
whether or not you...

Oh, man. Once l ask it...

Just give me a second.

l'm trying to figure out
if there's a way to avoid knowing.

No. Damn it.

There's not.

Okay, you're on.

-Real short answer. Have you had...
-Yes.

Really?

l made up my mind that l was gonna answer
every question you had.

l'll answer everything, and anything,
and more.

What other questions could there be?

Are you really that much nicer than me?

Well,

you don't set the bar real high.

John, just wait, please. Please, just wait,

John, just listen. l think that if you listen
to exactly what happened

and then you could do whatever you need to.

Just please let me tell you everything.

lt's just Flor.

Flor, what are you doing here?

l want my daughter.

l want to talk to Mrs. Clasky.

l want to quit.

l don't think you can do
any of that right now.

l gotta.

The reason l took this chance in telling
is that l want us to be good.

l want us to be close.

l want to feel like you're not nuts
to be in love with me.

So, what l think we should do
is l think we should just talk.

Talk until we pass out.

Talk until we are so sick of each other,

that there's nothing left to do
but take that first step out of hell.

Okay. So, let's not leave this room

until you've heard
and said everything, okay?

Please, say okay.

l'm sorry. What?

John? You didn't hear me?

l gotta get out of here. You keep talking.

-Wait.
-Stay put.

l don't think you want to wake her up

when you're feeling this upset
and the others are right there, too.

What're you doing? Where're you going?

-l am leaving. l have finally...
-Me, too. l'll drive you.

-No.
-Yeah, it's okay. l don't mind.

-lf you truly don't know why l say no...
-lt's past midnight here. l can just...

-...let me at last say the reason.
-l'll just take you. Don't worry about it.

Have you no idea that l...

l've really gotta get out of here. Right now.

Go.

Goodbye, Chum.

-Goodbye.
-Wait. l'm taking you.

No. Why?

Because, if l don't,
l'll worry about you all night long.

l can't handle that right now.

Come on, come on, in, come on.
Get in the car.

John!

-l quit this job.
-l quit this job!

l think l meant that for someone else.
l'm sorry.

-Sorry. Very sorry.
-That is the bus stop.

-Bye.
-Wait, don't go!

Would you be willing to hang out with me
for a while?

-You want to hang out with me?
-Yes.

-Then l have to ask you...
-What?

What does "hang out" mean?

lt means...

Visit.

Okay.

l've never seen your place.

Very perfect.

l'm gonna cook for you.

Please, please, please.

l am glad to visit with you.

lf l just left the job

and never spoke with you,

it would have been...

You understand?

Yeah.

My hand is the only sane part of my body.
Every other part wants to jump off a cliff.

That's it for now.
l already broke my record for smooth.

-l don't understand.
-lt's me. l'm not making any sense.

But l can get you fed.

-You want a drink?
-No.

Wait. l don't think you should, either.

Then, excuse me, because if l had
the equipment, l think l'd inject the vodka.

l just think it is so important
that we are each clear-headed.

lt's very good.

You didn't ask why.

Keep things real, right?

l wouldn't have put it so well.

Okay.

Let's get this going here.

Beautiful.

So, tell me again
why l can't call him on his cell again?

Besides that he turned it off?

-Yeah.
-40 messages start to look needy.

-Mother, you're enjoying this.
-No.

Well, not in the way you think.

You are enjoying it? Jesus, Mother.

l am enjoying actually being of use
to my daughter.

l'm enjoying the fact
that l really know how to advise you...

And the miracle
that you are so deeply disoriented,

that you are gobbling up everything l say.

What?

There's something l want to say to you
about you and me.

-You don't have to.
-No, l want to.

-Okay?
-Thank you.

You were an alcoholic
and wildly promiscuous woman

during my formative years,
so that l'm in this fix because of you.

lt is your fault.

l just needed that moment for us to build on.

You have a solid point, dear.

But right now, the lessons of my life
are coming in handy for you.

Yes.

That's it. That's it for you.

l keep thinking l should tell you
what happened to me tonight.

But l don't want to spoil this.
l don't want to spoil this.

l will remember every taste forever.

l'm very glad you liked it.

lt's something, watching you.

lf it's anything at your end,
imagine over here.

Scratch that. The last thing you want to hear
is somebody going off on your looks.

Don't be crazy. Tell me every detail.

Okay. Okay, l will.

They should name a gender after you.
Looking at you doesn't do it.

Staring is the only way that makes any sense.

And trying not to blink,
so you don't miss anything.

And all of that, and you're you.

l mean...

Look, forgive me.

lt's just you are drop-dead, crazy gorgeous.

So much so, that l'm actually considering

looking at you again
before we finish up here.

Soon, please.

-l can't. We can't.
-l know. l know.

We can't do anything that brings us
any kind of satisfaction or release.

But l'm still having a great time!

My mother has often referred
to that evening at the restaurant

as the conversation of her life.

Ever since that night at the beach,

l knew you were in a room,
l just wouldn't go in there.

When l hear you coming, l leave.

That's why we haven't
seen each other a lot lately.

Why is everything so damn confusing?

ls your mind racing, too?

l'd say my mind has evaporated.
Feels pretty good.

Like happy?

Like happy.

You think that will last?

-l was just kidding around.
-l understand what you mean.

No, l don't understand what l mean.

That it's getting late.

The responsibilities

have entered your brain.

Don't hide that from me.

-Please.
-Yeah.

-Thank you. You're right.
-Yeah.

l won't. You're great.

You're great, too.

No.

There are some mistakes you cannot risk
when you have children.

Please.

-Are you ready to go?
-No. l'm not. l'm not.

Stay put for a sec. Stay there.

Once our feet touch that floor,
l'm gonna get too many brain cells back.

Don't be in such a hurry.

That floor, it's going to eat us alive.

-l love you.
-What?

'Cause l've been...

Oh, God, it's him.
He's gotta tell me everything.

No, no, no.

-No. No, no, no.
-Yes.

No, wait!

Do you know that right now,

you are your own worst enemy?

That you can't trust
one thought in your brain?

Then trust me

and only allow yourself
to say one thing to him.

One thing.

"l am so glad you're back."

-What?
-Yes.

But l have to know whether he touched her.

And where he touched her,
and how he touched her,

and how he felt afterwards,

whether they held hands when they left.

Just those words, if you want to have
a prayer of coming out of this.

Okay. Okay.

-So, now l...
-Go to him.

Okay.

-Jesus, do l need a little makeup?
-You need a hose.

But you don't have the time.
lt's fine that you look like that.

lt's genuine. You can use genuine.

-Thank you, Mom.
-Honey.

lt's not the worst thing in the world
to find out that you love your husband.

lt's late, Deborah.

l just wanted to say...

l can't sleep upstairs with you.
l just can't for now.

l'm just so glad you're back.

-l am.
-Yeah, okay.

Mom?

l'm done tonight, Deb.

l don't think we can jam anything else in.

lt's me, Dad.

What's wrong, honey?

l just wanted to check
that you were back and okay and all.

l'm okay.

Okay.

Because?

Mom was crying for six hours straight,
and Grandma was in with her

all that time, mostly saying,
"He'll be back. He'll be back."

l just hate that you had that kind of night.

Oh, no, l...

lt's good for me to worry about
something that really matters

instead of the stupid stuff
that's usually on my mind.

Like?

Surviving?

What?

How did you come up with this?
You are fantastic, Bernie. l love you.

-l love you.
-l know.

l mean, not about me being fantastic,
but just...

-Sleep well.
-Wait, wait, wait. What?

Hey...

-l...
-Sweetheart.

Me, too.

Come on. Sing it for Grandma.

Cristina.

Hey, Mom. ls it okay
if we don't leave right away, please?

No.

-Listen, just let me explain, please.
-No. We must say goodbye.

Bernice is going to let me use her computer.

-This is for school, please.
-Listen to me.

-lt's for school. Just listen to me...
-l don't work here anymore!

No, that's not fair.

-That's not fair. You can't do this to me!
-Cristina.

You can't do this to me.
You can't do this to me.

-Do l have to get out?
-No, Georgie. Stay.

l think you are a wonderful boy.
Be good, like you are.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

-l can't believe you didn't get out.
-Flor said.

l don't want to get you wet.

-Get me wet.
-Thanks.

-You are a trip. You are.
-Thank you.

You are a beauty.

Flor...

Come on.

Last chance to have some of you
rub off on me.

Listen, l'm sorry that you're sad,
but this could have been so much worse.

Flor?

Why don't you run upstairs
and say goodbye to Deborah?

l'm coming.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

l live my life for myself.

You live your life for your daughter.

None of it works.

Thank you, Evelyn.

-We're leaving for good.
-No, it's okay.

-We're not coming back.
-lt's okay. No, no, no, it's okay.

We're still gonna see each other at school.
Come on.

l'm gonna keep my eye on you.

Come on. No, no, no. Come on.

lt's okay. l got some great things for you.
Want a computer?

Hey. l was waiting out here.

Can't give you guys a lift?

God bless the guy who gets you.

-Let her keep them. Party favors.
-No.

Cristina...

Goodbye, Mr. Clasky.

l'm very sorry we won't be
seeing each other as frequently.

Yes.

Flor...

Can l sleep at the Claskys'
when l stay late at school?

Shortly after we left,

my mother told me of another decision
she had reached.

l would no longer go to the private school.

No!

No! No, you can't do that to me!

You can't do that to me!
No, you can't do that to me!

You ruined everything!
You ruined everything!

This ruins my life! You've ruined everything!

l will never forgive you!

No, it'll never be all right! You're wrong!

This is exactly what l was worried about!

l will never be able to forgive you!

l have a scholarship!
And nobody gives this up!

The 1 .3 miles from the Clasky house
to our bus stop

was the longest walk l'll ever know.

l had publicly scorned my mother.

And yet she had not reacted.

What did spark our climactic moment
was my use of a common American phrase.

Not right now. l need some space.

Not a space between us.

ln the midst of confrontation,
she found clarity.

She expressed regret that she had to ask me

to deal with the basic question of my life
at such a young age.

And then she asked it.

"ls what you want for yourself

"to become someone very different

"than me?"

l have been overwhelmed

by your encouragement
to apply to your university

and your list of scholarships available to me.

Though, as l hope this essay shows,

your acceptance, while it would thrill me,

will not define me.

My identity rests firmly

and happily on one fact,

l am my mother's daughter.

Thank you. Cristina Moreno.