Original subtitles

I don't want to come in.

>> I didn't realize anyone still smoked in

2023.

>> There's only a few of us cool guys left.

Top or bottom?

>> Architect, actually.

It's okay.

>> Easy, cowboy.

Now.

>> Now?

>> Well, now I can grab my Coke.

>> [snorts]

[sighs]

>> One of the last true romantics. [music]

>> Okay.

My turn.

Romantic and a goat [music] star [ __ ]

sucker.

>> Do you know the best way to Shepherd's

Bush?

>> I think the trains have stopped running.

>> What? That's it?

>> Yeah, that's it. I've got stuff to do

tonight.

>> You're hot as [ __ ]

>> Be that as it may,

it's getting late.

>> You're my stalker.

>> Seriously, what are you doing?

I've nowhere to be tonight.

>> And you were the only hotel around, so

>> You were literally hooking up with a guy

when I saw you.

>> With him?

He's a mere trifle.

>> Right.

>> Look, let me walk you home.

It's a beautiful London morning.

>> You know, this is really weird, [music]

right?

>> Shepherd's [music] Bush?

>> It's not even a competition. I mean, it

wins for Pam Grier's performance alone.

>> Don't even get me started on Robert

Forster in that final scene.

>> If you say so.

>> I do.

But let's be honest,

he hasn't created a masterpiece since

then.

>> Need to get that [ __ ] inside my mouth

again.

>> What are you doing?

>> Just

>> I don't want to get arrested.

Get up.

You're a public menace.

>> What's more, we just didn't [music] see

things in the same way, I guess.

>> Like?

>> Well, there's just so much to negotiate,

you know.

>> So, he likes cups of tea, and walks in

the sunset, [music] and you like blowing

guys in car parks.

>> What's in an open relationship? It seems

easier on paper.

>> were right. She just got married the

other day.

>> You were right. So, a hen

>> What's your name?

>> I'm Jewish.

>> Yeah. Yeah, one sec. So, at her hen

night the other night

>> Is she a girl?

>> Yeah. Oh my god, yes.

>> Okay.

>> Would you

let me finish?

>> Please do, master storyteller.

>> Hold up. Okay, right. Um

I'm going to end my story now.

The point I wanted to make was

at this hen night, we had to go around

the circle and say how many people we'd

slept with in our lives. And um these

straight girls and guys were like

eight,

three,

13, even. And me and this homegirl, we

just looked at each other, and we were

like

Oh, dear.

And then it came to us,

and we were like

a thousand?

10,000?

To find slept with

>> Romantic story to go with a romantic

kiss.

>> [music]

>> I just pegged you for Kylie gay.

>> What does a Kylie gay look like exactly?

>> Shinier.

Have you ever been to Hackney?

>> Why would you want to live anywhere else

but here in London?

>> I mean we do have the offices here,

but it's not really the easiest city to

live in, is

>> It's worth it for the quality men alone.

Present company included.

>> Is that right?

>> That is right.

So anyway, I figured out why you're

circumcised.

>> That's the big question on everyone's

lips actually.

>> Why you, my dear friend, are

circumcised?

>> Well, that's Muslims and Jews have more

in common than we like to admit. [music]

And their dicks being the most obvious

through line.

>> Oh my god.

>> What's your name?

I completely forgot to ask.

>> It's Medi.

>> Medi.

>> I'm Noah. Nice to meet you.

>> [snorts]

>> You're such an idiot.

>> Sorry to hear that.

>> It's 2 years ago now.

>> Yeah, but you never really get over

losing someone.

Did you lose someone?

>> Someone.

My father.

I looked after him for months before his

death.

And he needed constant care, you know.

So none of my brothers or sisters were

around. It's just

me and my mom.

Through the hard moments.

And when he went, I remember thinking,

all this and you don't even really know

who I am.

>> Not really.

>> This is me.

>> I always wanted to see the interior of

these apartments.

>> Have you indeed?

>> Mhm.

I've had my eye on them for some time.

>> Can I get you something?

>> No housemates?

>> Uh no, it's a mate. He's in Qatar.

>> That's a stronger.

>> That's how he's the clock.

Follow me.

>> You leaving?

>> Yeah, work.

>> Oh.

I should probably change and shower

before I go in.

>> Sure.

>> You know,

it was fun.

>> Yeah.

It was.

>> If nothing else, we definitely got our

steps in.

>> So,

how long are you in town for anyway?

>> A few more days this time.

>> Anything planned?

>> Uh climbing the O2 or

a tour of the nation's great saunas?

>> It's um

got a few friends I need to catch up

with.

>> I had the best night.

One for the history books.

>> Totally.

>> You know, I

I don't want to be a cliché and ask for

your number and

>> I know.

The whole

you ask for my number and then we'll

just ghost each other after slowly

trail.

>> That's the one.

>> So, let's not.

>> It's agreed.

>> But, you know,

tonight I I'll go back to the same spot

we met.

I'll go at the same time.

And I'll look through the trees and the

shrubs

for a dark, handsome stranger to walk

home.

You never know.

Do you?

>> I'm a light sleep.

I'll be out with [music] the stars all

night.

I know what

to stop [music] me to stop me now.

Like

>> [music and singing]

>> them girls in Tokyo

singing

"Natsu

>> [music and singing]

>> ga arabishii yo."

I know what to stop me.

Oh.

>> [music]

>> Don't want to go home.

I want [music] to stay here and float.

Show me just show [music] me just show

me just show me off.

I'll be cool long as you show me off.

Could be [music] could be too good for

you

too good for you.

Show me just show me just show me just

show me off.

>> [music]

>> I'll be cool long as you show me off.

Could be [music] could be too good for

you

too good for you.

In the night air

no memory takes hold.