All language subtitles for Kill Me Deadly

Heat.

[music]

[music]

Heat.

Heat. Heat.

[music]

[music]

>> [music]

>> Charlie,

>> happy endings.

A smart guy might call that a paradox.

I'd call it a contradiction, but I'm

from Hollywood and am therefore

compelled by local ordinance [music] to

believe in happy endings. You know how

it goes. The hero gets the girl, the bad

guy gets shot in the gut, and you can

leave the theater knowing justice has

been served, and things can still make

sense sometimes.

Then the next morning, the actress he'd

seen smiling [music] on screen a day

before is found dead, hanging by her

neck within the O in the Hollywood sign

because Variety dropped her name in an

expose on Crow's feet. I guess that's

why they call it the dream factory.

Dreams.

A bad dream might have you waking up in

a cold sweat.

They never tell you it's the sweetest

dreams that give you the worst

hangovers.

My dream begins and ends where a lot of

dreams begin and end. Hollywood, 1947.

[music]

It started the way most of these things

start, on a Monday.

Yeah,

>> I'm here to see Lady Claremont. She's

expecting me.

>> We're not interested.

>> Look, friend, you got the wrong idea.

I've got an appointment.

>> What for?

>> I'm the county dog catcher, and the

police reported a stray poodle in the

area.

>> Wise guy.

>> Who is it, Charlie?

>> It's one of them doortodoor types, Lady

Claremont. You want I should give him

the what for? Let me take a look at him

first.

>> Whatever he's selling, [music] I'll take

a year's supply.

>> I'm Charlie Nichols. Miss Claremont. You

said you wanted to see me.

>> Yes, of course. Come in. Shirley, take

Mr. Nichols hat and coat.

>> By all means, take my hat and coat.

Surely.

>> What's your drink, Mr. Nicholls?

>> I'll have whatever you're having.

>> A flaming gay parry.

>> That'll be fine. Thanks.

Nice place you got here.

>> Better be.

Biggest nonmilitary structure this side

of the Mississippi.

The luck. We're out of coconuts.

Make yourself at home, Mr. Nicholls.

I'll be right back.

>> Mother, I swear this is the last time I

ride that lip sana. If it were up to me,

I

>> You're not mother.

>> Say, you're right. Ever think about

being a PI.

>> I'm Veronica.

You must be Charlie Nichols.

>> Must I?

>> They say you're the best private dick in

the city.

>> I'll have to thank my publicist. They

also say you're a man of low morals and

high ideals.

>> Looks like you got a hitch in your

pelvis.

>> It's that lips honor I got for

Christmas. He gives, but he won't break.

>> Maybe you ride him too hard.

>> Maybe he's a big [music] boy who needs

to learn a lesson.

>> Maybe he's smart enough to teach you a

thing or two.

>> Maybe he's a dumb [music] buck who

doesn't know what's good for him.

>> Maybe he'll get fed up and knock you on

your butt.

>> Maybe he'll like it.

Veronica,

I see you've met Charlie Nicholls.

I was just leaving. Mother, I'd better

feed that lipid. Zanna,

you're welcome to join me if you want,

[music] Mr. Nichols. That is if you know

anything about pounding hay.

Did you just whistle at my daughter?

>> No.

>> So, what's this all about, Miss

Claremont?

>> Someone is trying to kill me.

>> How do you know?

>> Call it a mother's intuition.

Oh,

and this note.

>> I'm going to kill you.

>> What do you think it means?

>> Can you think of any reason why someone

would want you dead?

>> I can't imagine.

>> Excuse me,

>> Clive.

Aren't you going to say hello?

>> Hello? Oh, really? Clive.

This is my son, Mr. Nicholls. [music]

I like to think of him as an idiot.

Savon Clyde, this is Charlie Nichols.

He'll be working for your mother.

I've heard of Mr. Nicholls. His name

frequently appears in the scandal

sheets. Is it true what they say about

the prevalence of marijuana in

Hollywood? That it's no longer the

domain of the itinerant jazz man. Five,

>> please.

Don't bore our guest and stand up

straight and try to walk with some

confidence instead of mincing on those

little feet of yours. Did you fire

Wilson like I asked?

>> Not yet, mother.

>> What are you waiting for?

You are so gravenly

and lazy and stupid. I want that man

fired immediately. I will not tolerate a

criminal in our midst. And get that

peanut butter out of your mouth.

>> You know, I hate it when you eat

directly from the jar.

>> Now, if you're quite through, I must

return to the library

>> again with those confounded books.

They're vital to my studies. Mother,

>> I don't know why you bother. I swear you

great on me so I don't know how I stand

it. [screaming]

[screaming] You

>> sure you can't think of anyone who would

want you dead?

>> Hi me.

I have finished the garden by the

reflecting pool as you have asked.

>> Oh, good.

Now go home.

You're fired,

>> Senora.

>> That's right. Fired. So [music] you can

take your things. Oh, and that little

hot dealei that you've been seen with

and clear out.

>> You mean my sister?

>> And make it quick or I'll have you

deported back to Mexico.

>> But but I'm from Espa.

>> You heard me. Either it is Mexico or

nothing.

>> But but why, Senora? Why?

>> Don't think I don't know

about the patuniius.

>> Petunia. Senora.

>> The other day I saw a man looking

exactly like you selling my patunias

outside Angelus Temple in Echo Park. But

Senora, to be dismissed summarily and in

so peruncter A MANNER AND JUST ONE WEEK

BEFORE COMPLETING MY MASTER'S THESIS

THESIS.

>> AMY, PLEASE. I don't speak Mexican and I

can't bear to hear you throttle the

English language with such vile

impunity. Charlie,

>> you will pay for this and the spirits of

my ancestors will mock your soul and

rise on the devil's pitchfork to the

irritating level. You will pay. You will

pay.

>> I won't deny a woman of my stature has

enemies, Mr. Nicholls,

but I fear no one.

What about

the Bengal diamond?

>> Bengal diamond.

>> Oh, that old legend. [laughter]

I fear you've been reading too many.

>> What the hanky panky? Don't think I

don't know about the diamond.

>> But how could you?

>> Well, for starters, I can see it. It's

right there behind you.

>> Where?

>> There.

>> Where? there in a display case on the

wall.

>> Oh, right. It is the Bengal diamond. The

most expensive diamond in the world.

>> I had a feeling.

>> Have you any idea what a diamond of that

magnitude is worth?

In 1817, it was given to a Hindi prince

in exchange for the Indian subcontinent.

Very languished

for the next 125

years.

Oh, and it's cursed.

>> [music]

>> It was given to me

by a man who loved me very deeply.

>> Yeah,

I'll bet.

>> You're a cynic. You've never been in

love, Mr. Nicholls.

>> I was in love once.

Never again.

Love is for suckers.

So, who is this boyfriend of yours

anyway?

>> I'm not at liberty to say.

>> That does it.

The

>> coconuts.

>> Stop it. You hear me? Stop it.

>> I don't know what little game you got

cooked up for me, but I'm not playing.

Get it? I never been much for games.

Sure, I play my share of Monopoly, but

if you take me for a sucker, we'll sit

by smiling while you fiddle with the

dice and move the game pieces around

when I'm not looking and lie about the

price of hotels on Pennsylvania Avenue,

then I don't care if you're willing to

trade [music] me the BNO, the reading,

and Marvin Gardens for Parkplace. And

you know why? Cuz dames like you always

start the game with Boardwalk. You've

got Boardwalk and Parkplace. It doesn't

matter what cards everybody else [music]

is holding. They're all Baltic Avenue to

you.

>> Shirley, my coat and hat.

You better watch your mouth bell.

>> Lady Claremont had me pegged as a day

player, a psy, a stoogge, an extra

waving palm frrons while she paraded

through a courtyard of Ethiopians

[music] and lepers.

To add insult to injury, someone in a

1940 Ford coupé had been casing the

joint.

Feeling like Mark, I chose to estu the

boxing matches and nightclubs that

consume most of my evenings and retired

to my apartment for a little light

reading. While I drank a scotch and

soda, I looked out my window and into

the eyes of a city beyond my walls. A

city that looked back in contempt.

>> I'm here.

This had better be good. I am missing

out having drinks from some very

expensive coconuts.

The nerve.

If you are going to pull out that thing,

you'd better have the guts to use it.

Who's this?

You shot me.

How dare you?

My diamond.

My diamond.

[music]

Charlie.

>> Yeah.

>> I just got some bad news over the wire.

>> What's wrong?

>> Lady Clarebots's been murdered.

>> Murdered.

>> They found a body under Echo Park

Bridge.

>> Echo Park Bridge.

>> I let you down, Charlie. I should have

seen it coming.

>> Take it easy, Precious. I'll swing by.

See if I can come up with anything.

>> Be careful, Charlie.

>> Yeah. See you at the office. I guess the

lady's life was in danger after all.

Sure, she was rotten, but she needed my

help and I gave her the brush off.

That's why old man guilt was gnawing at

my gut like a beaver with a tree stump.

[music]

Echo Park by day. It's a regular picture

postcard. Sweethearts and paddle boats,

old men feeding candies to ducks [music]

and kids playing stickball. Once the sun

goes down, it becomes a different kind

of postcard. The kind you can't buy in a

hotel lobby. one with a picture of a

reefer man getting stabbed in the belly

by a crazed hobo [music] where the

center's written, "Dear mom, greetings

from Los Angeles. You'll never see me

[music] again, so don't bother looking.

Love, Travis.

Morninga.

>> How was the crime scene?

>> Dead.

>> You got a new hobby there?

>> Nah. Writing samples. This morning I

broke into the Claremont mansion and

grabbed some papers from every room in

the house. After several hours of

analysis, I've concluded the handwriting

on those death threats belongs to none

other than Clive Claremont.

>> Good work, D. Oh, and while I was there,

I took a look at the tire treads in

front of the house. The ones left by

that car that was watching you.

>> Yeah.

>> There were lateral hash design from

Goodyear.

>> Okay.

>> You know, lateral hash.

It's a type of tire that required a

high-grade rubber and was discontinued

in 1942 on account of the war. That

means that car ain't driven much in 5

years. So, on a hunch, I checked with

some retirement homes in the area, and

the folks at the Happy Tidings Home in

Brentwood had a car stolen from one of

their residents two weeks ago, a 1940

blue Ford coupe.

>> Oh, that takes care of the car.

>> What's that you got there?

>> Geneva Brothers.

Sounds fancy.

>> Yeah, found that in Echo Park.

>> Let me just take a look at the old

jewelry database.

Let's see here. Classic 1920s southern

French design. Stainless clasp with

non-elastic binding. D E. Here it is.

This watch was purchased at Nelson's

pawn shop on Labraa and Olympic. Oh, do

you see these blood stains?

>> I hadn't noticed.

>> I better run some tests and see if I can

come up with anything.

Charlie Nichols office. Hi you, Sam.

What's the scoop?

>> Mhm. Okay. 421 West Fountain. Thanks,

pal. I owe you one.

That was my friend over at the DA's

office. They have the Claremont Butler,

Adrien Wilson, in for questioning.

Here's his address if you want to put

the squeeze on him.

Adrien Wilson pitted olives and iron tea

cozies for the Claremonts for 30 years

before they gave him his walking papers.

The LAPD and I don't agree on much, but

we both know that if an employer fires a

butler on the same day she gets killed,

then that butler is the prime suspect.

searching for some support to relieve

that crushing sensation in your neck.

>> My god, you're evil. There isn't the

faintest trace OF HUMAN KINDNESS

ANYWHERE IN THAT SOULLESS HUSK. YOU CALL

YOUR CORPOREAL PRESENCE.

>> I NEVER CALLED IT MY CORPOREAL PRESENCE.

YOU CALLED IT that because you're

British. YOU'RE BRITISH and you're weak.

>> Why? WHY CAN'T I BE DONE WITH YOU? YOU

DESPICABLE, cruel woman.

>> I don't blame you.

I am evil. But I try to be good. I

really do.

But who has time these days?

>> Please don't cry, darling. I'm sorry.

That's a [music] warning, butler.

I was too busy dodging bullets to make

out the hired meat with the gat. So, I

cheed it and headed over to Tony's

Liquor Lounge on Kena for a

heart-to-heart with boy millionaire

Clive Claremont.

>> It's true. I didn't get along too well

with mother. I suspect you've heard the

gossip

>> a little. I know you left her little

note saying you were going to kill her.

>> Oh, those [laughter]

we so enjoyed ribbing one another. And I

also know that despite all of her

wealth, the premature death of your

father on a Pennsylvania coal fire, she

was notoriously cheap.

>> Oh, it wasn't as bad as all that.

>> She'd give you acorns for your birthday.

That must have upset you.

>> Not particularly.

>> They were collected from the acorn tree

outside your house.

>> Well, it's the thought that counts, Mr.

Nichols.

>> She wouldn't gather them herself. She'd

make you do it.

>> Well, I was.

>> And as an extra little touch, just so he

didn't get spoiled, she'd make you give

the acorns to charity, wouldn't she? Now

see here. What's the point of all this?

>> Did you kill your mother, Mr. Claremont?

>> Of course not. How dare you, sir?

>> Look at nobody raises their voice to

Charlie Nichols. See, now I know your

mother's murder must have been hard on

you, but it just so happens that with

the 50 million simoleons you look to

inherit due to your old lady's untimely

run in with a business out of a Smith

and Wesson, you've hit the top of the

LAPD's most likely prep school flunky

eyes their mother list. So either you

play straight with me or you keep

cracking wise. Get yourself fitted for a

new pair of striped pajamas. Capich?

>> Yes. Yes. I'm sorry, Mr. Nichols. You're

right.

>> I I apologize if I've acted untoward.

>> Don't worry about it.

>> I should have known it was you making a

rumpus.

>> A Louis Henry, I didn't know you mugs

were still working here.

>> Look, Charlie, we don't want no trouble.

>> No trouble, huh? Well, that's good

because me and my friend could use a

drink.

>> Your money's no good here. The boss

won't take it, Charlie. You know that.

>> Tony's getting mighty particular in his

old age.

>> The boss is always looking out for the

bum steer.

>> Your money always comes up counterfeit.

>> Tony forgets he owes me one. If it

wasn't for me, he'd be tending Gardens

in Fulsome instead of running a classy

joint like this.

>> Well, the boss don't see it that way.

>> Just get me a drink. I'm parched. I'll

take a Manhattan and Junior here. We'll

have a diet moxy.

>> No, make that two Manhattan. I assure

you I can handle my liquor, Mr. Nichols.

I been to university.

All right, make it two Manhattan. You

better not slip me a Mickey there. That

should cover it.

>> What's the big idea?

>> Oh jeez, Charlie, this don't look real

to the casual observer. Got a little

choo choos on the front.

>> It ain't even green.

>> Just beat it and make with a liquor.

>> Okay, but the boss ain't going to like

this.

>> Wise guy.

>> Who's the dick?

>> That's Charlie Nichols. He's looking for

information on the Bengal diamond case.

>> Is that so?

>> Yeah.

>> What are they drinking?

>> Two Manhattan.

>> Be a deer. Put them on my trail. Bring

them.

>> You got it, Tut.

>> You're a beach lord.

>> Tell me everything you know about the

Bengal diamond.

>> Um.

Oo. It's the only 300 karat red diamond

in the world. Mother got it as a gift

from an Indian Raja when she saved his

life.

>> Yeah, I remember that. Didn't he have a

heart attack?

>> Yes. Yes. Mother was there on business

when he suffered an attack. Mid-con

conversation, she rushed to his side and

gave him some aspirin. He recovered

nearly immediately since it turned out

to be heartburn. But he was so convinced

that she had saved his life that he

insisted she take the diamond as his

gift. But ironically, he died 3 days

later from allergic reaction to aspirin.

Huh.

>> Isn't the diamond supposed to be cursed?

>> Yes. They call it the 95year curse.

Every owner of the diamond going back

seven centuries

dies in their sleep at the age of 95 or

older.

>> Spooky.

>> Your drinks, gentlemen.

>> Thanks, doll.

>> Will a glass do, young man, or shall I

get you a sippy cup?

>> Now, see here.

>> Call it, Junior. Haven't I met you

somewhere before?

>> I don't know. Was it some place a cheap

line like that works?

>> I swear I know her from some place.

>> I work a lot of clubs in town. The

Cabana Club, the Deer Grove, the Coconut

Grill, the Pooh Camboo, the Death

Rattle, and on Wednesday nights, I play

the Vibra at Nebuchadnezzar's Babylon

Hut.

>> I saw that show. She played the whole

number with six pounds of bananas on her

head. She handled the mallets like she

was carving a turkey. I like whacking

small metal bars with soft little

hammers.

>> That wasn't nearly as dirty as I'd

anticipated.

>> Well, stick around. It's looking to get

a whole lot dirtier.

>> Ladies and gentlemen, the douls tones

[snorts] of Miss [music] Mona

Livingston. [applause]

>> Excuse me, gentlemen. I better run. Any

requests? Yeah.

Do you know

Rainbow Dream?

>> Does Joe Lewis beat guys senseless?

>> Rainbow Dream Bill.

>> Goodness.

What's in this?

>> Nothing you'll find in one of your

universities.

This song is dedicated to all the

children of the world who dream about

rainbows.

[music]

>> Dream about a rainbow. A [music] bright

enchanted rainbow. [singing]

Dream about [music] the children who

dare to dream [singing] about a rainbow.

[music]

High above the mountain [singing] bathed

in dreamy sunlight.

The children of the misty hills

are [music] singing in the

moon.

>> [music]

>> Seek shelter in [music] a rainbow dream.

Sing the children of the hillside.

Things are not as bad as they seem.

There are few wild cougars from which to

hide.

Always [music] reach for the brightest

star. Sing the children of the hillside.

[music and singing]

And always remember who you are and

always look on the bright side.

[singing]

>> Our song

>> that meant something once.

>> It meant something to a boy and a girl

and a corgi and a marriage license that

wasn't worth the paper it was printed

on. It's the song I like to hear when I

want to feel bad.

>> But it wasn't working.

>> Not tonight.

>> This girl sang like she was Dr.

Frankenstein trying to bring my heart

back to life before the villagers set

fire to the nightclub.

>> Rainbow dream into the place where

children

cross that raging stream or the bridge

of happy days. Come along and join

[music] the winning team. Your heart has

so much to say.

>> [singing]

>> and save

a dream

for me.

Come on and stay with me.

[applause and cheering]

[music]

What do you think?

>> I thought you handled that transition. I

didn't afraid they would fight.

>> Eim [screaming]

him.

>> What do you need my opinion for? You

don't know me from Adam.

>> I know you're Charlie Nicholas.

>> Is that cell? I know you're a private

dick and you've been searching all over

Los Angeles for a lead on the Clammont

Diamond case.

>> Looks like you're quite the gum shoe

yourself. Anything you could fill me in

on?

>> You're a fool, Charlie. Every two bit

and stupid McMans in town is trying to

crack this case. What makes you think

you can do any better?

>> Suppose I told you I know who the killer

is.

>> Suppose I said I didn't believe you.

>> Suppose that broke me up inside.

>> Suppose I told you to go roller skating

to forget your troubles.

Suppose I went roller skating, fell and

skinned my knee.

>> Suppose I kissed your boo boo and made

it all better.

>> Suppose that wasn't my boo boo you were

kissing.

>> Charlie, it's Tony. It's Oh, excuse me,

Miss Livingston.

>> That's all right, Lou. What is it?

>> It's Tony. He's awful mad about the

funny money emanating from your table,

Charlie. [music]

And Miss Livingston, he he said he was

fed up with your shenanigans. He said

you were a no good [ __ ] [music] And if

he ever saw your face again, he'd kill

you. Dame or no dame? I I never seen him

like this. You bet his damn scray. I I

got to go. I can't be seen here like

this.

>> Better get out of here. The next time

you sing it'll be throw a fat lip.

>> Let that big monkey drive.

>> I wouldn't push my luck with Tony if I

were you. Can you get home? All right.

>> I don't have a car. I can't drive.

>> Get your things. You're coming with us.

>> Mr. Nichols, I've got it. I know where

I've seen Miss Livingston before. It was

on the night of the murder. I was across

the street from the library when I

bumped into her, causing me to drop my

books. I noticed she seemed rather

nervous.

>> Kid, take it easy. It's not that bad.

>> Kid,

the flower girl.

>> Oh, yeah.

That boy's been stabbed.

>> That man's got a knife. Someone stop

him.

>> Charlie, what happened?

>> Clyde's been murdered. Where were you?

>> I was just talking to someone when a

strange man held a knife at me. I was

just able to get out of the way.

>> Why won't someone stop him?

>> He's right there. Someone should stop

him.

>> Somebody should definitely grab him.

He's standing maybe 3 ft away.

>> Charlie, someone's trying to kill me.

Let's get out of here. Nobody frames

Charlie Nichols. You hear me? No one.

>> Let's get out of here.

[music]

>> Suppose we ought to run.

>> Suppose we are.

>> Come on.

>> Hold it right there, bud.

>> Oh my god. Oh.

Clive Claremont murdered in just 48

hours. He went from nerdwell to captain

of industry to the losing player in a

game of knife in the back patty cake. As

for the girl, Mona Livingston,

the minute I saw her, I knew I had to

have her. I don't know why. Maybe it was

her gams [music]

or her hair

or her spectacular set of

pipes.

Whatever it was, she had a hold on me

like a wolverine on a moose.

>> You can sleep in the bedroom. I'll take

the couch.

>> I can't stay here after work in the

morning. No, it's not the Roosevelt, but

it should be okay for a high class dame

like yourself. As for Tony's Liquor

Lounge, consider yourself laid off.

>> Well, this is entirely ungodlin, and I

won't stand for it.

>> Get away from that door.

>> It'll stay put and you'll lick it. You

just witnessed a murder, in case you

didn't know. And I was seen holding the

murder weapon. That makes you an

accomplice.

And as for Tony's, I'd make myself

scarce. Whatever you did to Tony got him

mighty steamed. And if you go back

there, they'll greet you like you were a

giraffe at a vampire convention. Oh,

Charlie. How could this have happened?

And that poor boy. Why, Charlie? Why?

>> Look, sorry you had to get caught up in

all this, but there's about a 100

flatfoots out there trying to get their

hands on yours truly. So, we're just

going to have to stay put.

>> How long do we have to stay holed up

like this?

>> I don't know.

Well, Mona, you've really done it this

time. Wait till the gang back in to

Tulsa hears about this.

>> Difference doesn't make what they hear

back home.

>> You don't know Mona Livingston.

She's always got a story. There's this

one story she tells about a small town

girl who comes out to California to

become a big movie star. Maybe she

doesn't get so big so fast. See, she's

got to tell the gang back at home

something. So, she makes up this story

that she changed her name to Lana

Turner. Maybe the gang back at home is

not so sure. Mona's telling the truth on

account of she's redhead and a little

shorter. And as Ma keeps riding home

asking for money and Lana Turn is pretty

rich. And

the return address on the envelope said

Mona Livingston in it.

>> It's okay, baby.

>> Hey, it'll be all right.

Now,

okay. Okay.

>> Stop it. You hear me? Stop it. You got

to be strong. I don't care who you are.

I don't care if you're Lana Turner in

disguise or if you're Mona Livingston

and you're broke and unemployed. [music]

And I don't care about your friends and

if you're a joke or not or the most

unpopular loser from Tulsa, Oklahoma or

not. You know why? Why?

>> Cuz right now you're with me and I

happen to think you're a pretty swell

kid.

You're trembling,

>> Emma.

Guess I've never been so close to a

world famous detective as all.

>> I'm not so world famous

once you get to know me.

>> [music]

[music]

>> Wow, a complete breakfast. How splendid.

They say that breakfast is the most

important meal of the day, but I never

have it. What's time these days?

>> How's your eggs, Mona?

>> Just perfect. Hard on the outside and

soft on the in.

And orange juice.

We owe a lot to oranges when you think

about it. They give us so much and ask

for so little in return.

>> John, who is it?

>> I don't know. You better hide in the

other room.

>> What are they going to

>> Hurry?

>> Who is it? What up, Charlie? It's me,

Dewey.

>> Hey, fellas. Jonesy. Dewey.

>> Top of the morning.

>> Smells good. Charlie, what you got

cooking?

>> Oh, a little breakfast. Cup of Joe.

>> No time, Charlie.

>> Kind of busy.

>> Yeah, kind of busy. You see, on account

of this murder that took place last

night.

>> Murder, huh?

>> Yeah. Seems some blue blood got a little

get well caught in the form of a knife.

>> Yeah. Only it was in his back and it

didn't make him well so much as uh, you

know,

>> dead.

>> Yeah. Dead.

>> So, you wouldn't know anything about

that, would you?

>> Jeez, [clears throat] that's awful.

What's this world coming to? in a hand

basket. I says

>> the victim was the one Clive Claremont.

The whole sorted affair took place last

night at Tony's liquor lounge.

>> You boys been reading too many dime

novels. I wasn't there last night. I was

at my office reorganizing my to-do

files.

>> To do what? Murder kid.

>> I don't have to TAKE THAT FROM YOU.

>> WHAT IF YOU DON'T LET HIM GO? Maybe when

we throw him in the cooler for

assaulting a police officer, he'll tell

us about the murder and the girl he was

with.

>> What girl? What are you talking about?

>> You know what I'm talking about. That

girl you were with last night. Mona

Livingston.

>> Oh, real look.

>> Oh, yeah. pretty nice pins, nice pipes,

and she would have known the victim

pretty well since she's been chatting up

his sister.

>> Veronica Claremont has been dipping her

beat with Miss Claremont nightly at

Tony's for the past several weeks,

except for one night.

>> Yeah, the night of Lady Claremont's

murder, little Miss Claremont was having

drinks with an unidentified older

gentleman.

>> Livingston wasn't there for that.

>> It's curious. She wasn't at a regular

table with Veronica Claremont the night

the old lady gets shot and thrown off a

bridge.

>> Funny coincidence that,

>> but she was seen with you last night.

was a cocktail waitress at Tony's and

some kid puts a down payment on a wooden

kimono. Then she's gone.

>> Well, what I know about some working

girl. I don't do HR for Tony. So you can

crack Foxy somewhere else.

>> Oh yeah. Then why'd you got two plates

of eggs?

>> What are you driving at? Two plates? See

that Jonesy?

>> Sure.

Eggs,

bacon, toast,

waffles,

French toast, hot tea, orange juice,

coffee,

granola.

Two of each.

Breakfast for a king and his queen.

>> Regular smuggers bun.

>> That does it.

Look out. [music] Thanks.

Just want to enjoy my breakfast. See,

maybe after working all night at the

office, I'd like to indulge in a double

helping of breakfast without getting

interrupted at 8:30 in the morning by a

couple of slow-witted flatoots with

chips on their shoulders. Cuz they're

stuck in another case that if they screw

up will be their 12th unsolved murder in

a row, ensuring them a bust back down a

sergeant and a career of rosted railroad

bums for extra cash so they can get

their wives a little something to help

them forget they're married to the

dullst, most pathetic dicks ON THE

FORCE. HEY,

>> GEE, CHARLIE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET

PERSONAL.

>> We're just banner in with you, Charlie.

>> We'll take your banner somewhere else.

It bores me.

>> We're going. We're going.

>> Just let us know if you hear anything.

>> You'll be lucky if you get a Christmas

card.

>> Are those awful men gone?

>> Yeah.

>> Oh, thank goodness. That's what I like

about you, CHARLIE. YOU'RE QUICK ON YOUR

FEET, AND that'll help us if we have to

get away from the police.

Just Think how romantic.

Surely we can move to my cousin's place

in San Boo. You can support us by

working odd jobs and I can stay home and

bake cookies and maybe some peacon pie.

AND THEN AT THE COUNT, WILL you

>> Charlotte, why you throwing eggs at me?

>> Help me, she says. Oh, that poor boy.

She says

>> you mocking me.

>> Tell me about Veronica Claremont.

Veronica who?

>> You said you were afraid someone was

trying to kill you. You didn't say you

were bosom chums with the victim's

sister. The same sister who just

inherited $100 million.

>> WAIT, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

>> You're involved in this thing deeper

than you let on. How? And don't feed me

any more stories about Tulsa and how

lonely you are.

>> But

I'm so lonely.

>> What do you know about the Claremonts?

Oh,

>> you're right. I deserve your scorn. I'm

a terrible ass sometimes. I know I am.

It's just that I've never been so close

to death before. And that boy and that

knife. And I

>> Look, Mona, I'm not the police, but I

can't help you unless you level with me.

Veronica Claremont started coming into

Tony's about six weeks ago. She

intimidated the regulars, but to me she

seemed very sweet and vulnerable.

>> She talk about her mother much?

>> Not really. Funny though, when she did

talk about her mother, she'd kind of

clench her teeth and then she'd grab it

a napkin and tear at it and then she

might absent-mindedly claw at the napkin

with the cocktail spear, kind of like

she was torturing it out of some pentup

need for revenge.

>> Funny.

>> Who was the older man she was with?

>> Oh, I don't know, Charlie. They seemed

to be talking about something very

important, and I didn't want to bother

them.

>> And you never saw Clive before last

night?

>> No, she always came alone.

>> What about the butler? Did she ever talk

about him?

>> The butler? [laughter]

I don't know anything about her butler.

>> Did she ever talk about the diamond?

>> Charles, I swear I heard about the

diamond until it was in all the papers.

>> Where are you going?

>> We got to get to the office.

>> Charlie, don't leave me.

>> It'll be all right, sweetheart. You just

lay low here for a while. Help yourself

to whatever's in the ice box. I'll be

back this afternoon.

>> Wait. Do you Do you believe me? It's

very important that you do.

>> I believe you, baby.

>> Do you Do you love me, Charlie?

Call my office if you need anything.

>> Mona Livingston was as tough to figure

out as a jigsaw puzzle made of soap.

>> Ida Nichols.

>> Charlie Nichols as I live and breathe.

You're late. You know, if you weren't my

boss, I'd fire you.

>> You're a taskmaster, Ida. Listen, I was

going to come by the office and I

>> I wouldn't do that if I were you.

>> Yeah. Why is that? cuz a couple of good

humor men from Tony's are here waiting

for you. They're outside right now

polishing brass knuckles and playing

cat's cradle with piano wire.

Oh, and you got a phone call from a man

who says his life's in danger and he

needs to see you right away. He lives in

Loma in Chavez Ravine.

>> [music]

>> Come in. Senor Nichols.

>> I may right. See Gautieras.

>> Can I offer you some tea? I have

chamomile.

>> No thanks. I'm in a bit of a hurry.

>> Ah, yes, of course. My life, it seems,

is in danger. So, it behooves us both if

this little mystery is uh, how you say,

resolved expeditiously.

>> Yeah, me too.

>> I understand you have some information.

Cisor, I was in Echo Park, the night of

the murder, as I am every

[clears throat] night, selling patunias

to the passers by when I saw Clive

Claremont leaving the library.

>> Good night, Clive.

>> Thank you, Miss Hutchinson, for keeping

[music] the library open so late in the

evening.

>> Oh, Clive, you're such a charming boy.

Well, that went well.

I found the ball Zach I wanted.

And one can never read too much Chaucer.

What was that?

Was that

Backfire?

What a harrowing scream

and that splashing sound.

A woman must have been alarmed by her

car backfiring and then [music] panicked

and throw a bucket of water in her

tailpipe.

But why would someone carry a bucket of

water in her car?

>> What stupid?

>> Pardon me, madam, but I believe you owe

me an apology. Out of my way.

>> Private but you're sweating.

>> I said moment.

>> I wonder where she's going in such a

hurry.

>> You couldn't make out who the girl was?

>> No, Seenor. There was just enough light

that I could see everything except that.

>> Well, thanks for the tip, Himeme. Now,

if you'll excuse me.

>> Yes. I I'd better get to work myself. I

must pack my things. The city is tearing

down my community, and the paving

process begins in 4 days.

>> Yeah, I heard about that. It's a tough

break.

>> Ah, it's not so bad. The city tells me

that my little home will provide parking

for up to three cars.

>> Is it true they're planning on building

a ballpark up here?

>> No, just parking.

With Clive dead, that meant his sister

was the lone remaining heir to the

Claremont Cole empire. Could she have

bumped into Clive the night of the

murder? Would that make her the killer

or just a witness? And why wouldn't

Clive recognize his own sister?

Are you going to say something or are

you just going to stand there watching

me put on cocoa butter? I

>> was waiting for you to stop, but it's

taken 15 minutes. Mind if I ask you a

few questions?

>> Are you going to grill me?

>> Excuse me?

>> Isn't that what they call it in your

profession, Mr. Nichols? Grilling a

suspect.

>> Well, I only grill women as a last

resort.

>> I don't mind. You can ask me all sorts

of things. I think you'll find me quite

pliable.

Why are you still investigating this

case? Do you always work so hard for

free?

>> I work twice as hard when I'm getting

paid.

>> Some might say that's awful naive.

Trying to solve a crime that's none of

your business.

>> Oh, people are cynical.

>> I think it's cute.

>> I think you're cute.

>> If I answered one of your questions

falsely, could you tell I was lying?

Would you believe every little thing I

say? Or isn't [music] that something

they teach you in detective school? I

guess I'm pretty good at reading lips.

>> Is that so?

Read these.

>> Well,

what' they say?

>> Inconclusive.

I'll need a follow-up

>> now.

>> I think they're trying to tell me your

whereabouts on the night of your

mother's murder. I was training my lips

on Brutus.

>> You trained him that afternoon. How

often you ride that horse?

>> For your information, Mr. Nichols, I

have six lipetss on stallions. Three

thoroughbreds, two greyhounds, and one

Gamecock.

>> Each one requires several hours of work

day and night.

>> Tell me, how do you tend to all that

livestock and still prowl Sidi bars at

night?

>> CD bars? What do you

>> look baby? I know you spent every

evening for the past six weeks throwing

back cocktails with the dead enders at

Tony's liquor lounge so you can pedal

your wares somewhere else cuz I'm not

buying.

>> Mr. Nicholls, where do you get these

toddy rumors?

>> You were there that night, weren't you?

>> I was after I rode Brutus at about 9:00,

getting home at 3 the next morning.

>> You weren't alone. You're with a man. An

older man.

>> I'm [music] always with older men. But

you knew this man intimately. Who was

he?

>> I was with Wilson, our butler. He was in

the market for some tea and sympathy, so

I thought I'd oblige.

>> He makes social visits with him often.

>> Just once before at Tony's two days

previous. He's been in our family since

I was a child. Taught me how to ride

horses and how to train games.

>> What'd you talk about?

>> Mostly we talked about mother. You may

not know this, Charlie, but he and my

mother were lovers once. To mother, it

was a fling, but he was desperately in

love with her. When he arrived at Tony's

that night, he was very upset and very

drunk.

>> Did he leave with you?

>> We talked for a couple of hours. He made

a crude pass at me, as all men do,

eventually, then excused himself and

went home. He's a good man. He knew my

father in the First World War.

>> They serve together.

>> Father was a colonel in the army, and

Wilson was a corporal in an English

butler squadron. After the war, he came

to work for us.

>> You ever notice anything suspicious?

>> Not particularly.

>> Oh, he kept a snub-nosed 45 in the

pantry.

>> Is that standard issue for Bair help?

>> He only needed it because he had $75,000

in gambling debts, and people were

always threatening to kill him.

>> Who threatened to kill him?

>> I don't know. I remember these two thugs

used to come by every few months and

break and then re-break his legs. There

was a lot of screaming, so I had trouble

making out who sent them. was something

seagull

bugsy something

>> that could be anyone.

>> Listen, Charlie, I know my unorthodox

way of dealing with [music] the loss of

two close family members by sunning

myself isn't the best way to evoke

sympathy, but

you just keep tanning.

Leave the rest to me.

I'll be waiting.

>> Hey, doll.

>> Oh, hi you Charlie.

>> Looks like our butler's got a little

gambling problem.

>> 75 large.

>> Yeah, he's in debt to the tune of 75.

Yeah.

>> What's my little bookworm working on

now?

>> Clues, Charlie.

>> Again?

>> You know me, Charlie. I love a good

snoop.

>> What do you got? You know that girl Mona

you've been seeing?

>> I can tell you right now that's a dead

end, sweetheart. She had nothing to do

with this.

>> I know the police were looking for her,

so I thought I'd do a little following

up. You know how Veronica Claremont and

the butler had drinks the night of the

murder?

>> Yeah, just found that out.

>> I thought it was pretty likely that Mona

maybe struck up a friendship with the

guy.

>> It's impossible. She told me herself she

never met him.

>> I wanted to get a precise time the

butler was at Tony's, so I went

rummaging through Wilson's trash can.

I found five bottles of cham, four

bottles of sweet vermouth, four bottles

of kari, and several orange twists.

>> And you know what that means?

>> No. What?

>> He's a Negroni man. Then this afternoon,

dressed as Shelly, an androgynous

grifter persona [music] I invented

whenever I need information, I [snorts]

was able to sneak into Tony's office,

whack Tony over the head with a

blackjack, and rifle through their

receipts going back three days. And

wouldn't you know it, on the night of

the murder, between 9:30 and midnight,

one tab had seven Negronis and three

champagne cocktails.

>> Wilson and Veronica.

>> Mhm. That tab was closed out at 12:00

sharp, but at the same time at a table

in the back, a new tab was started with

three Negronis and two wine spritzes.

And guess whose shift ended at midnight?

>> I don't know.

>> Mona Livingston. And 2 days before that,

the same thing. And same 6:00 p.m. to

12:00 a.m. shift for Mona both nights.

>> I don't know, Ida. That's pretty

circumstantial.

>> I thought so, too. So, I went to the

library on a hunch and found these

The Bengal Diamond,

Memoirs of Lord Thumptussle Diamond

Collector, and Diamond Theft Made Easy.

>> So,

>> these are the only three books in the LA

Central Library on the Bengal diamond

and diamond theft. And look who last

checked them out.

Well, that's too bad, isn't it? We're

all frightened.

We all get shot at sometimes.

Just be there at 9:00 sharp or I'll hunt

you down and ring your neck myself.

[screaming]

>> Anyone I know?

>> Phone solicitor,

>> you sounded pretty upset.

They should.

>> It's just rude, you know.

>> You know what else is rude, Mona?

>> Oh, a riddle. Oh, Charlotte. I just love

word games.

>> Tell me what else is rude.

>> Dames who lie through their teeth to get

what they want.

>> I don't get it. Is this one of those

daily jumbos?

>> I know for a fact you met the butler at

least twice. So why did you lie to me?

>> Because

I didn't think that we've been properly

um noise.

>> Who is it?

>> Hey, Charlie. It's Louis. Can I come in?

>> Go away, Lou. We're busy.

>> I got orders to bust the door down. I'd

like to avoid that if possible.

>> Okay.

Hey, Charlie.

Oh,

excuse me, Miss Livingston.

>> That's all right, Lou. What is it?

>> I beg you pardon, Charlie, but you got

to come with me. The boss says I'm to

pound on you if you don't cooperate.

>> You tell Tony if I so much as sneeze,

he'd better hire a high-priced attorney.

>> It's not Tony, Charlie. I got other

bosses. I'm what you call a independent

contractor.

>> Well, tell whoever it is I'm not home.

>> I'm afraid he insist.

>> Buzz off, will you? I'm busy.

>> I hate to do this, Charlie.

>> Charlie,

>> you didn't say nothing, Miss Livingston.

>> Come on, Charlie.

>> [music]

[music]

>> Is that you, darling?

I'm so relieved you're here. I must

admit, I was a bit uneasy standing out

here all alone in Laurel Canyon in the

dead of night.

You'll be relieved to know that I've

closed all my accounts and uh tied up

all the loose ends just as you've asked.

So I'm now untraceable. No more

authoritiesounding us. No more

questions. Why? I could disappear from

the face of the earth forever and no one

would even notice.

>> I can't see you.

You alone,

darling.

>> I'll clench your jaw.

>> Too bad your head is not as smart as

your mouth. Louie, untie him and leave

us alone for

Let's try it once more.

>> Who am I?

>> I don't know. George Raft.

>> So, you're Ben Seagull. What of it?

>> Word is you got a nose for diamonds.

>> I don't know what you're talking about.

>> Look, Nicholls, I don't like to sap

hardworking stiffs like you. It's not my

nature. The problem is as a successful

businessman I got to get results. Go the

beatens.

Now what have you heard about the Bengal

diamond?

>> It's a big shiny stone

>> to the uneducated perhaps. But when you

peel back the shiny stuff, you get a

carbon allotrope with the power to build

an empire. Did you ever hear of the

Corella madness? [clears throat]

Sounds like I have.

>> The story goes that about a hundred

years ago, an Indian prince named

Dwahali Raswahandi

stole a diamond from his old man to give

to a maiden he was pining for.

On his way to bring the diamond to his

true love, the elephant he was riding

upon went mishuga, threw him to the

ground, stomped him, and fed him to a

bunch of tigers that were watching from

the side of the road. As if the whole

thing was a setup.

When she came to look for him, all that

she found was his hand clutching the

diamond.

Oh, yeah.

And it's cursed.

>> You sure you want this, diamond?

>> I'm a band of visions, and that baby's

just the thing I need to turn my vision

into a reality.

>> What are you talking about?

>> You ever been to Las Vegas, Nevada?

>> No, of course not. Why would I?

>> That's just the kind of prejudice I'm up

against. Charlie Nichols, take a look at

the Las Vegas of the Future.

What do you think? Hey,

>> that's a pretty good rendering. It's not

a volcano, is it?

>> It sure is. And swimming pools and

artificial lakes and reefs and a ski

resort made out of cotton candy. All

ringed by a motor crocodiles for all

those who don't pony up the 50 bucks to

enter the town.

>> It sounds classic. Everything you see

here, the solid gold ferris wheel, the

Trevy fountain that runs on champagne,

the holding tank with the performing

killer dolphins, all of that runs up a

pretty big tab. And my investors are

just about tapped up.

>> Hence the diamond.

>> When some embarrassing details about the

Claremonts came to my attention, I was

hoping to purchase that diamond for a

song.

blackmail or with what?

>> We've been taking that butler they got

out there, Wilson, to the woodshed on

account of the 75gs he owes us. You

break a guy's legs enough, and he'll

tell you all sorts of things,

like uh his love life, for instance.

>> I already know about him and the old

lady.

>> If it were just that simple,

>> ain't it?

>> Not with a kid involved. That butler

spent 20 years slaving over puffed

pastries for his own daughter and she

didn't even know

>> Veronica Claremont.

>> The old man buys the farm and Lady

Claremont looks for a little comfort

during her time of grief and she ends up

with a kid.

>> So the butler drowns his sorrows in

booze and gambling while scheming for a

way to get back at the woman keeping it

from his own daughter. But if you're so

sure Wilson did it and he's got the

diamond, what do you want from me? Don't

you read the papers? That butler's gone

missing. We ain't seen him since the

night we shot up his place with a

Thompson.

>> I don't know why I'd want to disappear

like that.

>> You get me that diamond and I'll give

you a piece of the flamingo.

It was all starting to make sense. The

dough eyes, the cocoa butter making like

the damsel in distress. And the whole

time she was playing me like a

harmonica.

>> Take a powder, pal. The lady and I need

to talk.

>> I don't like your attitude, mister.

>> Which part of my attitude you got a

problem with? This part

>> or this part?

>> What is the meaning of this?

>> You're going to spill it. You're going

to spill it good. You understand?

>> Whatever are you talking about?

>> Look here, school girl. Your smart

talking big city mall in the body of a

live and innocent [music] worldass polo

jockey act. Might work with your

debutant friends and your high collared

snuff addicts. You're going to spill it

to me straight in the next 5 minutes or

I'll [music] have the LAPD on you faster

than a mint shipment on a zoot suit.

>> I swear I've told you everything I know.

>> Tell me about the butler.

>> What? Tell you what?

>> Tell me.

>> Charlie, please

>> tell me.

>> Charlie,

>> tell me everything about Wilson. I want

the truth. The truth.

>> I don't know what you're talking about.

>> Stop lying about the butler.

>> I don't know anything else.

>> Stop it.

You don't

>> you don't know what I'm talking about,

do you?

>> I don't I don't know why you're doing

this, Charlie.

>> There's really nothing else you can tell

me about the butler.

Oh.

Oh, I Well, uh here

uh

funny story.

I uh just got back from Bugsy Seagull's

place. He's the fellow the butler owed

all that money to. And over the course

of the past couple of months, the butler

told Bugsy's goons that he, the butler,

I mean, was your father?

>> Wilson?

>> Yeah,

>> Wilson's my father.

>> I'm awful sorry you had to find out like

this. I really thought you knew already.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have kept slapping

you like that. All this time, I've never

known a father. I'm so fortunate we've

been given this chance to start a new.

You've given me quite a gift, Mr.

Nichols.

>> Don't mention it.

>> Oh, the things we'll do. Think of it. A

whole lifetime to catch up on. Poor

Wilson. He must have gone through

suffering every day just to watch over

me and make sure I was brought up right.

Well, no more suffering, father. We will

make it right, you and I. We will both

finally have what we've always wanted.

You, your place in the world, and I will

have a father.

>> Hey, Charlie, is that you?

>> Hope you haven't come to arrest me

again.

>> Nah, you're off the hook, Charlie. In

light of recent developments?

>> Yeah, we found that butler you was

looking for.

>> Wilson, you found him?

>> Yeah, you could say that. Where is he?

>> Mostly off Laurel Canyon Boulevard, just

north of Mholland.

>> But his guts are sort of scattered all

over. You mean he's he's

>> dead in the doornail.

>> Guts all scattered

>> all over.

Jeez. What's got into her?

>> Look, fellas, you picked a pretty bad

time for this.

>> Come with us, Charlie. You got to take a

look at this.

>> What a mess.

[crying]

>> Eight. Definitely eight.

>> So, this is the eighth [music] body of

uncovering Laurel Canyon in the last

year. That's right, miss. And of all the

bodies I found, this has to be the most

rewarding.

>> They're coming.

[music]

>> There he is.

>> Still dead.

>> There's the rest of him.

1940 Ford Coupe. It's the same car I saw

on the night of the murder. You found

him like this?

>> Yeah.

>> Thought you said it was a suicide.

>> He drove him through the tree. Charlie,

>> there he is. And there's the car. What

more do you need?

>> He was hit by the car, Jonesy. A fella

doesn't have an accident and then fall

out of the car and then have it run into

him.

>> Well, this guy did. We got proof.

>> Yeah, the bottle left the suicide note

with all the details.

>> Yeah, that's how come you're no longer a

suspect.

>> It's all Jake.

>> He spills the whole thing out.

>> The maid is Ed.

Dear world, I am killing myself because

I can no longer live with the guilt.

>> It was I who killed Lady Claremont and

her son Clive for the diamond. Don't

bother looking for the diamond, however,

as I have hidden it someplace where

you'll never ever find it. So, you

should give up completely any attempt to

recover said diamond.

And if by chance you discover any other

murders in the course of looking for the

diamond,

I committed those too.

>> Goodbye cruel world. Sincerely,

Adrien Wilson.

>> That's it.

>> Jaloo is up a lot.

>> You really think he wrote this note?

>> Why not?

>> It's got his John Hancock right there.

>> I don't think a 60-year-old man would

dot the eyes in his suicide note with

little hearts.

>> He's English.

>> Yeah. Yeah, a guy crazy enough to kill

himself is likely to do all sorts of

crazy stuff.

>> And it makes our job easier since we no

longer have to look for that diamond.

>> Yeah, that thing could be anywhere.

>> Case closed.

>> Hey, where you going to look for the

killer?

[music]

>> Glad you could drop by.

>> Hey, sweetheart.

Looks like our case just got a little

murkier. You mean Wilson?

>> The butler was just found.

>> Yeah,

>> I just got back myself. Oh, and you can

have that watch back. I got the blood

type of off it, and it's the same as

some residual blood I found on Lady

Clammon's dress. Do you know the LAPD

didn't even notice the blood on her

dress wasn't her own? Sloppy. Sloppy.

>> Nichols.

>> Charlie, it's me, Mona. I went to see

Tony.

>> Mona, what are you doing? Trying to get

yourself killed?

>> Oh, Charlie. All right. I don't know

what I was thinking. I went to see Tony

to apologize, but then his men grabbed

me and they tied me up. They took me

upstairs, but I was able to break loose.

>> Where are you?

>> I'm at the phone booth in the alley

behind Tony's opposite Dena's junk shop.

>> Okay, hold tight. I'm on my way.

>> John, someone's coming. I can hear him.

He sounds dangerous. He sounds like he

might be holding a loaded gun.

>> Mona, get away from there.

>> Who are you? What do you want? What are

you doing? Mona,

>> what is that in your hand? It looks

deadly. Don't. Please go.

>> Mona,

>> Mona.

[laughter]

Well, well,

things are looking up, ain't they, Lou?

It's Charlie Nichols arriving just in

time like he was a Santa Claus himself.

>> You really shouldn't have come back

here, Charlie.

>> I don't want any trouble, Lou. Just give

me the girl and I'll be on my way.

>> We ain't got no girl, Charlie.

>> Nah, no girl.

>> We got you, though. So, the evening

hasn't been a total loss.

>> Where is she? Where's Mona Livingston?

>> Mona Livingston, get him.

>> Mona ain't here.

>> We ain't seen that brought in days. Not

since you got on Tony's bad side by uh

icing that kid without his permission.

Let's go, Charlie.

>> Back off, would you? I've had just about

enough getting pushed around by the

likes of you.

>> We're going to keep pushing. So, you

might want to come to terms with your

situation. Get him, Louie.

>> I hate to do this, Jolly.

[groaning]

Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Would you

hold it, please?

>> Hey, what are you doing, Lou? He's still

standing for crying out loud, mixing up

your pansy.

>> Yes. Nice, Henry. Hey, what?

My arm, Charlie. I got shot.

Jeepest. That's smart.

>> Let me see it.

Hold on.

Hold on

there. How's that? Snug?

>> Yeah, better, I guess. kind of tingly.

>> Did you get hit anywhere else?

>> I don't think so.

>> Good. And this shouldn't do any

permanent damage.

>> I deserve that.

>> What say you, me and your puffy arm,

have a little chat.

>> Charlie, I feel real bad about what

happened. I I'll tell you anything you

want to know.

>> First of all, where's Mona?

>> She got away

>> from a couple of big fellas like

yourselves.

>> She's very resourceful. You know that.

Who hired you to grab her?

>> You know, we work for Tony.

>> Don't give me that.

>> Claremont case is closed. So why the hit

job?

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

>> OKAY. OKAY. I got another boss,

>> Bugsy.

>> No, no, not Bugsy. Not for this. I

can't, Charlie. I just can't.

>> Well, we're staying here all night until

YOU FESS UP.

I GOT THE JITTERS, CHARLIE.

I never wanted to hurt nobody real bad,

you know, but I was told to do one bad

thing and then another and then

I can't, Charlie. I just can't.

>> What? What can't you do?

>> I can't tell you. I want to, but I

can't. I'd get killed. I'd like to avoid

that if possible. Well, you're getting

killed either way, Lou, so you may as

well fess up.

>> Butler,

I know the papers said that he'd done

himself in, but that was no suicide. I

can tell you that. I was my cop,

Charlie. I did it.

I didn't do those other murders. I

swear. And I didn't want to do this one,

but I had no choice.

>> Who made you do it, Louis? Who are you

working for?

>> Charlie,

>> are you all right?

>> I'm good. I heard the shots. Are you

hurt? No,

>> I got out. Okay,

>> is he dead?

>> Just sleeping.

>> Did he do it, Charlie? Was he the killer

this whole time?

>> Nah, he's just the button man.

Button man. What do you mean?

>> He's a hired gun. Get it?

>> A trigger man, a Bruno, a dropper, a

torpedo, a hatchet man.

>> You mean he hurts people for money?

>> Claire's crystal, baby. Only I got to

figure out who's paying his rent.

>> Charlie, all this killing is so awful.

Protect me, Chuck. Protect me, please.

I'll take care of you, sweetheart.

First, I better make sure nothing

happens to that kisser of yours.

I think I was starting to love Mona,

even though I wasn't sure I could trust

her. But why fall in love with a broad

you can trust? That's like reading a

book you already know the ending to.

>> Can I fix you a drink, lover?

>> Listen, baby. I've been talking to a lot

of people the last 24 hours, and I got a

couple questions that need answering. My

my We're all business. I'll buy it.

Who'd you talk to that got you all hot

and bothered?

>> Veronica Claremont for one.

>> That young Claremont girl. What?

Charlie, I'm liable to get jealous. What

does she have that I don't?

>> An alibi.

[laughter]

>> Charlie, you and your monkey shines. I

knew it the minute I laid eyes on you.

But where this Charlie Nichols? I said

to myself, he's a real joker. That one

is a regular Danny K. Duck the duck's

got NOTHING ON MR. CH.

>> OH, YOU'RE GOOD. YOU GOT MORE CHANGE UPS

than Satchel Paige.

>> What have I done except come to you for

help?

Is it my fault that Veronica Claremont

and the butler had just ended a torid

love affair on the night of Lady

Claremont's murder?

Oops.

There was no love affair, Mona, and you

know it.

>> The butler was Veronica Claremont's

father. Only he could never tell her.

Even after several drinks, there are

some things so tough to say to a person

that a fellow will break his own heart

to pieces rather than say it. Poor slob.

>> I hope I'm never alone like that butler.

Charlie,

>> what's that you're working on there,

Mona?

>> Some cranes. Some origami cranes.

3,000 origami cranes placed one [music]

by one in the shape of a rhombus

right next to this

crystal vase. This beautiful vase right

here.

Oops.

>> Oh, Charles, I'm frightened. It's been

like this for days.

>> Take it easy, baby.

>> So many people have been hurt and or

killed. I have Tony's people after me

and the police. And now I'm afraid even

you have me pegged as a killer.

>> I'm on your side, baby. You just have to

trust me.

>> I love you, Charlie. I could trust you

better if you told me you love me.

>> I can't do it, baby. I've been hurt too

much. I just [music] can't take that

chance.

>> What are you doing, Charlie?

>> Do what?

>> Risk your neck for people who usually

wind up getting killed anyways.

You ever work in the oil business?

>> The oil business?

>> Ever see what an oil well does to a man

who mistakenly sticks his head over the

gush cap of a clogged drill?

>> Oh, surely.

>> It's been 11 years as an oil executive.

It's a real big shot.

It's the only business in the world

where you got a million dollars laying

at your feet. If you got the sense to

lean over and pick it up, then you're

some kind of a genius.

That is until one day after a typical

three martini lunch,

a 19-year-old intern asks if he can see

what's wrong with a clogged drill. And

you tell him, "Sure, kid. Knock yourself

out. Just don't stick your head over

that gush cap.

Seems like the kid didn't hear that last

part.

Shut down production for [music] two

hours while they searched LA County for

his head. When it turned up at a church

picnic in San Pedro, they started up the

pumps as if nothing had happened.

>> Oh, surely.

So, I hung a shingle on the door that

reads private detective. And sure, maybe

the pay is not as good as it once was.

And

I am late some of the time and my

clients are always getting killed. But

I'll tell you one thing,

least I can sleep at night.

You know, if you aren't careful, a girl

could get the idea you're a pretty swell

joke.

>> Guess I'll have to take that chance.

What's wrong, Charlie?

>> Nothing.

>> I just

got a headache is all.

>> Must be all the except

>> Yeah,

maybe if I just take a bloat off.

Whatever she put in my drink must have

been pretty strong.

When I woke up, my head hurt as bad as

if someone had shrunk Joe Lewis and Max

Schmemelling. Stuck them in my head and

told him to have it out. Winner gets to

leave my brain. Loser gets to go

bowling. within my brain.

>> Nicholls,

>> Louis Schwarz wants to see you.

>> What?

>> He's waiting for you on Bunker Hill.

>> Who is this? He's in a flop house at 111

South Grand A.

>> Hello.

Hello.

Bunker Hill used to be a nice [music]

neighborhood right around the time the

pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock. Since

then, it's been known as Bumtown, Crumb

Town, Dudtown, and Shnook Town. Row

after row of painted lady [music] flop

houses holding every type of criminal

element known to the LAPD rap sheet.

I've had eight partners since I became a

PI and seven of them were shot to death.

>> All of them on Bunker Hill.

I got you.

Officer,

did you see that there?

That was Thomas and George live.

auditori.

Why so jumpy? Nicholls, he ain't going

to hurt you. Not now.

>> Henry Lumpus,

>> were you in on this?

>> I didn't do nothing.

He was late for work today. If there's

one thing you can say about Louis

Shorts, it's that he's punctual.

So I knew when he was late for work for

the first time in 10 years,

he's probably dead.

>> Why'd you call me out here?

>> Cuz it ain't right to let your partner

get rubbed out without who done it

getting what's theirs.

>> How do you know I didn't do it?

If you wanted Louis next, you would have

put him on ice last night.

Well,

>> Louis worked for Bugsy. Maybe Louis gets

a taste for diamonds. Bugsy gets wise.

Has him silenced.

>> I don't think Bugsy is in a position to

be making executive decisions about

nobody.

>> What are you talking about?

>> Oh, didn't you hear? Bugsy Seagull was

found dead this morning.

>> Yeah. Someone decided he wasn't uh cut

out for hotel management.

>> Well, sometimes bad things happen to bad

people. Yeah. Well, besides, Louis

wasn't looking for rocks. I mean, he

couldn't find a clown at a circus.

>> He must have been into something. Bear

doesn't get stung unless he's found some

honey.

>> Louie followed orders. He don't dance

unless the band leader gives him an 8

count.

>> Tony was the band leader. He played

Louie like a French horn.

>> Tony's in Catalina, and I would have

known if he sent over any sheet music.

>> Well, maybe he got killed in a robbery

gone bad.

>> Nothing's been touched. Not his wallet,

not his uh collection of ducks, nothing.

Not even that nice watch he's wearing.

>> Watch? What?

>> Geneva brothers.

>> Hey, what? What are you doing?

>> Louie's been silenced. [music] All

right. Silenced, but good. He wasn't

killed for money or comeuppants, but

because he was the only person left who

could identify the killer of Lady

Claremont.

I had a pretty good idea myself, but I

was hoping to be proved wrong. Did he

get any results?

>> I [music] cross- checked the

fingerprints and blood type on the watch

with the security records at Tony's, and

>> they are.

>> You ain't going to like this, Charlie.

The murderer of Lady Claremont.

Charlie

>> going somewhere, Mona?

>> Not that I know of.

>> Why are the suitcases?

>> I always keep them there.

Strange. Why is that?

>> Earthquakes.

>> Called for the taxi that just pulled up

out front. You can forget about it.

Driver's on break.

>> What need would I have for a cab? I

would only call for a taxi if I were

going somewhere. And I'm obviously not

doing anything of that nature. So,

there'll be no reason for me to be

calling.

[music]

>> What's this? Oh, just a little something

I picked up at Nelson's.

>> Gift, Charlie. I'm surprised to you. I

never figured you for the time. But

>> the rhubarb. That's your watch and you

know it.

>> I don't know.

>> I found that in Echo Park the morning

after Lady Claremont's murder. Had more

of your fingerprints on it than a

>> Well, it had a lot of fingerprints.

>> That's impossible.

>> And wrist prints. Blood stains, too,

that match your type.

>> But Charles, I swear I've never seen

that watch before in my life.

Don't play dumb with me, Mona. Makes

your neck look fat.

>> All right, I admit it. I bought the

watch, but I never killed that girl.

You've got to listen to me.

I know I'm not perfect.

I know I'm a liar.

I'll always be a liar.

I lie about everything all the time.

Constantly. I lie so much. Even I don't

know when I'm telling the truth. But

regardless of my past extensive history

of lying and the many lies I will tell

in the future, you've got to believe me

this one time when I tell you I had

nothing to do with the tragic shooting

of Lady Claremont.

You will protect me,

won't you, Charlie?

You're so very strong and and and

palpable right here. I can feel it.

>> Stop it.

>> [screaming]

>> I love you, John.

>> That's too bad cuz I'm turning you

[music] in.

>> What?

>> You heard me. Better notify your

newspaper boy to cut off your

subscription cuz you're going away for a

long time.

>> I thought you loved me.

>> I never said that.

Said you had nice cams as all.

>> You talk big Charlie Nichols. But you

don't got a thing on me.

>> I got evidence that'll connect all four

of the Bengal Diamond killings. That

ought to do the trick.

>> Charlie, I'm innocent. I haven't done

anything. You have to believe me.

>> I want to believe you, baby.

A dame like you can open a man's heart

like you would the tin lid on a can of

peaches.

Then you reach in and you rip [music]

out the heart like you would the peaches

inside the can and you stick it in a pan

filled with pie crust and you ask

everybody to dig in.

Well, you could take your home style

cooking somewhere else, sister, cuz I've

had all the broken hard pie I can take.

>> Don't move a muscle. Just like a killer.

[music]

>> Didn't have to be this way, Charlie.

>> Didn't it? What' you think would happen

when you got it in that sweet little

head of yours to kill Lady Claremont?

>> I don't know what you're talking about.

>> Come on, Mona. You're going to have to

do better than that when you're

explaining things to the police. Maybe

you didn't kill her for the diamond.

Maybe you killed the old lady because

you felt sorry for Wilson. A sort of

consolation prize for psychotics.

>> You have wasted your talents as a PI,

Charlie. Just think of all the great

novelletes that could be on display in

airport lavatories all around the globe

had you the guts to put pen to paper.

>> Unlucky for you, Clive Claremont saw you

running from the scene of the crime.

Unlucky for Clive, he remembered.

Louis Short saw what you did to Clive,

[music] but he'd never talk. He'd been

in love with you since he knew you back

in Oklahoma and do anything to protect

you. Like kill Adrien Wilson, for

example.

>> I was wrong about your pension for

fiction. You'd never cut it. You're

unfit to write billboard copy for Burma.

>> Poor Louis outlived his usefulness when

he failed to take me out in an ambush.

So you shot him yourself this morning.

>> Your gears are slipping. You're

infringing on the incoherent scribblings

of the mentally ill. You know I was in

the other room when the Claremont boy

was killed. And and I was in Hollywood

when Lady Claremont was murdered in Echo

Park. And I don't know how to use a

sniper rifle, so I couldn't have killed

Bugsy Seagull.

>> Wait a minute. Who said you killed Bugsy

Seagull?

>> Uh,

you said I assumed we

was a fool to believe you love me.

That's funny.

If I didn't know any better, I'd swear

that's the Bengal diamond hanging around

your neck.

>> It's not how it looks.

>> I hope it was worth it. Mona,

>> the diamond belongs to me now. I've

earned it.

>> That diamond belongs in a museum.

>> Open up. It's the police.

>> The police?

>> It's over, baby. Put the gun down.

>> It's us, Charlie. Let us in.

>> I'd love to oblige, fellas, but I got a

38 suggesting otherwise. Give up, Mona.

You had your fun, but it's over.

>> You're 3 seconds, lady. We're busting

down the door.

>> Cool it, fellas. Let me handle this.

>> You open that door and I swear by God,

I'll kill it.

>> You better clear out, Charlie, when we

bust in there.

>> The gun down, Mona.

>> I ain't going to hatch, Charlie. No one

sends Mona Livingston up the river. Two.

>> You open that door. Nichols is a dead

man. You hear me? Dead.

>> Mona, you got to listen to me.

>> I ain't going down, Charlie. And if I

do, it's with guns blazing.

>> You can't do this, baby.

>> How hard can it be? I just squeeze the

trigger and it's lights out. Tough guy.

>> What? Well, you bums lay off. You're

going to get us all killed.

>> I'm taking you all with me. You here?

>> There's something important I got to

tell you, Mona.

>> We're running out of time, so it better

be a last request.

>> I love you, Mona.

I loved you the minute I laid eyes on

you.

Charlie,

[snorts]

[sighs and gasps]

>> mama, why'd you do it?

>> Ain't no one going to put me away.

[crying]

Not now. Not ever.

>> I'm awful. Sorry it had to end this way,

kid.

>> Me, too.

Charlie,

can I ask you something?

>> Anything?

>> What you said back there? Did you mean

it? You weren't just saying that to keep

me from sending you a hot lead.

>> I meant it, baby.

>> I love you, Mona. And I always will.

>> [laughter]

>> I hope you're not too mad at me for what

I did.

I feel awful bad for killing all those

people

and for trying to kill you

at least a couple of times.

You know,

I wanted to be a good girl

truly

and I would have been.

But who has [gasps and sighs] time these

days

for have more time?

For have more time.

>> [music]

>> Heat. [music]

Heat. [music]

>> [music]

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>> Heat. Heat.

Heat. Heat.

[music]

>> [music]