Original subtitles

"The characters and events of this story are entirely fictional"

I'm a serious Astrologist. I don't hold hands to read palms

I'm not here to be harassed. Go away

I have this little problem

What is it?

Aging

Aging?

The problem with aging...

What star sign are you?

Oh, I'm hardly a star, I'm from nowhere...

Get lost

I'm worried... about premature aging

I get wasted on 3 drinks and buy up lottery tickets...

About your little problem. Can you still get it up?

You're fine

I'm the one worried...

about aging

I'm starting to sag a little. Know what I mean?

Getting up in the morning is a real drag...

Starting to feel my age...

Don't you worry. You're still really hot

If you can be such a sweetheart,

why didn't you just seduce me?

Man, you're moody

How to deal with my many moods...

For your pension plan

Wow, so much?

Hey!

I figured out your sign

You're a Chameleon

"CHAMELEON"

The moment we've all been waiting for

Here comes the bride and the groom

Please give them a warm welcome!

No way. The guy's super hot

Unbelievable

With that old bag?

For her daddy's money

-A gigolo -Her whole family's tacky

Which is what bring us here

The honorable father of the bride, Midorikawa Hisanori,

is the fabled inheritor from Tokyo...

Investor

The fabled investor, and his daughter, Yukie,

while serving for many years

as her father's accomplice...

Accountant

Accountant,

drove her beloved Jaguar, and travelled the world...

I'm Sakai Kenzo,

Marketing Director, Yamamura Trading

About the bridegroom, Harukawa Kosuke

Although losing his parents and orphaned in this world,

he has matured into a fine citizen,

distinguishing himself in my...

Now it's time to cut the wedding cake...

Just a minute. Come closer, everybody

You in the back, hurry up!

Still ordering us around...

May the happy couple launch their love...

Not so fast!

Wedding cake, darn!

Turn on the lights!

Harukawa, if you can afford all this crap,

you can sure pay me back, now!

Hey! Lights on, now!

Please, not here

Just who are you?

I'll tell you

I have the singular honor of representing the Kikuei Clan

Harukawa here, is a moron,

who borrowed 5 million yen from our loan shark operation,

without paying back a yen of interest!

I'll pay you, I will! Just go home...

Shut up! Hurry up and pay!

Daddy!

Dear...

Harukawa! How stupid can you be, borrowing money from a gang!

I have no use for an employee like you!

Noriko, we're going home.

Sakai, fire Harukawa!

Right! Your judgment is correct

Sir, are you really going home? Madam!

Sir!

Kosuke, you can't let this happen!

Dear guests, please remain calm. As long as their love is strong...

Who asked you!

You can't even keep your insults consistent!

Darn!

Please, stop!

Darn you!

-Don't touch her! -Let go, pay up!

Stop!

Stupid!

That's enough!

Get outside!

Don't worry, everyone

Come out!

Sure, Daddy, I loaned Kosuke money

But that was because I knew how much he relied on me

His love for me was so pure he barely held my hand...

You're the one that's too pure!

You're not legally married yet

Who knows how much they'll blackmail him for

Take all the cash wedding gifts as your severance pay!

I'm very sorry

My apologies

I detested you from the start!

You're a lowlife that stinks like rotten fish!

Go away

Now!

-Nice job -Nice job

Here's our "severance pay"

Hey, a real stash of cash!

Idiot

Act normal

They're cops

They knew

They're not cops

How can you tell?

Wait!

I was tricked! I was tricked!

That's not true. Please, calm down

Let's go

Oh, hello. Yes, we're on for tomorrow

Darn you!

What the heck was that about?

They didn't look like yakuza

You're a yakuza, right?

No, you're just a thug

Shut up

From Yamada Miho

10,000 Yen. Cheap guest

Matsunaga...

Can't read it

Nice job

No wrap party?

My idiot Bro's waiting

I want to drink

Sorry, 4 hours left on the slot machines

Hey, Blackie!

I miss the good old days

What?

"Loyal to None Entertainment"

Morning

Morning

Good morning, everyone

Hey, Goro, did I play it a little over the top yesterday?

Not at all. You're always very impressive

Good morning

Your fee for yesterday's performance

Always appreciated

That's right, we're just happy to still have roles to play

Thank you for yesterday, sir

Nice job. Thanks

Noriko san, here's yours

Thanks

The breakdown on yesterday's take,

was 4 million yen in cash gifts,

and 1 .5 million for the honeymoon and apartment rental

Which means each of us get 780,000 yen

Kosuke, you're saving up, right?

Keep more for yourself, you're the lead

No, I get my fair share

Now, about the next job

Which one?

Today, I'm meeting the mark for that wedding, next month

The next troupe performance,

will be at the Toyu Supermarket,

starting at 1 1AM. Sorry it's early

The Tenku Theater Troupe?

We're still negotiating a guest appearance for you

Sorry you have to handle our performances

Hey, consider me your manager

Our manager...

Manager

Hey, manager

"Yamamura Theater Troupe"

Grandpa Shu,

Grandma Nori,

Grandpa Ken

Want to take my meds?

You haven't taken any in a while

Actually, mine ran out, too

If you're that worried about throat cancer,

quit smoking

Leave me alone

Goro

I'm in bad shape

Go get some medication

That woman we're meeting with today

That woman? You mean, the mark

I'm in love with her

Let me be clear

You mean, personally?

I'm serious, I'm in love with her

Leave all this behind?

I thought you were saving money to follow in your dad's footsteps

Whatever. What about money?

Neither of us can make it in the real world anymore

Anymore!

Welcome

Sorry I'm late. I couldn't get away

That's fine...Let me introduce...

Hello, I'm Noda Goro

I'll be master of ceremonies at your wedding. Congratulations

I'm telling you the truth today

I'm ... Actually, I suffer from depression

I came here from a small fishing village and found a job

But I really struggled

He and I met, waiting in one of...

those long lines at a psychiatric clinic

You could say we're the Depressed Dudes

Just like today, I always depend on Goro,

because I can turn into...

a different person at a moment's notice

Um...

No, please hear him out

Honestly...Honestly...

I want to start over with you

Take you with me and go back to the sea

Listen, I didn't know how to tell you, either

I kept trying to tell you but never could

I was never serious about us

You seemed so serious and quiet, I felt so bad for you

If we go any farther, I'll break your heart

Sorry. I know you paid for the dates

Find someone terrific. Bye!

Hey wait! You conned him!

"Kinouchi Psychiatric Clinic"

Thank you

You should wait 'til after you eat

What's up, Jun?

Listen to me! I saw it on TV...

Gosh! You couldn't even collect today

100,000 yen only? Idiot!

And you want to join us?

I'm sorry!

Yesterday's basement garage!

Who you talking to!

That guy!

That guy!

Kosuke

Kosuke

Let's go home

Tatsuo

Let's go out

Tatsuo!

Hey, what?

We're going to go ahead and eat

Sure, go ahead

I'm sure hungry

We start with a report on

testimony at a Parliamentary Hearing

Witness Atsugi

I stand here before you today,

not to respond to any allegations,

but in order to establish whether or not these allegations

carry any truth at all

Getting to the point,

I have absolutely no knowledge of this matter

Transportation Minister Atsugi was scheduled to testify in Parliament

regarding allegations of bribery

Due to the extraordinary disappearance...

of another key witness,

Ishibashi Tomoyasu, the Hearing was postponed

Ishibashi, the planning director for Japan Real Estate Corp,

has simply disappeared...

It's him, right! I couldn't believe it!

The Police have determined that Ishibashi is in some troubles

and have been investigating his activities from yesterday...

They say the Minister's secretary killed himself,

but they killed him

They killed that guy, too?

We're witnesses, right?

Think there's money in a tip-off?

Money?

Money...

Think we could get 1 million yen for a tip-off?

If we do, they'll wipe us out

Then it's the cops

Like we can just go report to the cops

Then it's off?

Forget it!

I'll be back, in due course

What's "in due course" mean?

Hey, watch it

"If you're going to dance..."

"Dance the tap, tap, wiretap dance"

"If I don't make it back, use this"

"Goro"

He knows

He's no dummy

Take me to your boss. I want to talk to him

Yes, so,

you'll be in touch with the local risk assessment section,

and we'll hire an anti-terrorism specialist...

So I hear you're vegetarian

When Noda Goro was 10,

his parents lost their interior decorating business

and walked out on 50 million yen in debt

and killed themselves

Goro was placed in what they used to call an orphanage

When he was 1 4,

he slashed a contractor who owed his parents with a knife,

landing him in reform school

That's where he met Ookita Tatsuo and Yoshida Jun

After reform school, he joined martial arts school,

got kicked out, hired by yakuza,

got kicked out, wound up in Chinatown in L.A.,

as a bodyguard for the Asian mafia, but after a year...

Let's not go that route

Paper-scissors-rock!

You got back to Japan...

3 years ago?

Yeah, well

You were 25

Since then?

I'd had a pretty active life, so I became a regular slacker

A slacker,

who's depressed

and cons weddings

Which is why I've got no credibility whatsoever

Even if I told them I saw you there,

they'd ask me what I was doing

I'll shut up my 3 guys

No matter what, I won't let them talk

So can't you leave us alone?

What do you mean, "No matter what?"

You drugged or tortured that witness, right?

He'll be dumped somewhere tomorrow. Total amnesia

He'll never testify in Parliament

Where did you fight?

What?

Ex-fighters rub their hands like that

To keep their heart and lungs in shape

So, you were a fighter?

I only trained

You breathe even a word,

and you do know what the punishment will be

To the marrow of my bones. There's no way out

It's not much, but take it

You've spared us the trouble of executing you...

Not that we would

Who do you think I am?

Don't look down on me...

Is what I'd like to say, but can't . How pathetic

Could I take 4 or 5 bills for carfare?

"Who's behind me..."

I'm a serious Astrologist I don't hold...

You're the chameleon...

How's your aging problem been?

Yourself?

Doesn't matter. You paid me but I never told your fortune

Your birth date?

I think it was September 22... 1982

More or less

More or less?

Won't work?

It's fine, you're a Virgo. Hold on

Listen, if you have to look it up in some books...

Look how thick this book is

If I had the brains to memorize this, I'd be in another business

Unbelievable

Shall I call an ambulance?

I'm fine. I haven't eaten in a while

You're my first customer in 5 days

It's hard to read

Want to go eat?

Don't order anymore eggs, please

That's your 7th or 8th egg

And stop mixing mustard into your drink

It's totally addictive

Can I ask your name?

What? My name?

Goro

Goro?

Rhymes with Gogo girl

Mine's Koike Keiko. My name's all K's

I don't mean you,

but I have lousy luck with men

The guy I considered marrying was a marriage con man

My parents said I was the fool and cut me off

So now I'm broke

I decided to join the cons

That's why I tell fake fortunes

Keep the change

Thanks

Use this to go home

Hey! Don't insult me

Is what I'd like to say, but can't . How pathetic

Hey!

Don't worry about me. All of Tokyo's my pad

I can always crash a massage parlor

Are you...

Is there...

a reason you don't want to sleep with me?

The man taken into custody on this bridge early this morning,

has been identified as Ishibashi Tomoyasu,

the missing Japan Real Estate Corporation executive

Mr. Ishibashi appears physically unharmed and healthy,

but suffers from amnesia,

and is unresponsive to questions from the police and his family

As a result, the recently postponed...

I'm with the news desk. Can I help?

Parliamentary Hearings will be delayed further

Unbelievable

It's good. Let's go with it!

Where was this?

The Oriental Plaza Hotel basement

When?

The afternoon before the Hearing. You'll pay me right away, right?

I asked you to wait on that

10 million. If not, I'll take 1 million

I'll talk to my boss,

but you agree to go on the show, right?

We'll conceal your face and alter your voice

We'll shoot him in there

With the monitors behind him

The chair goes...

Goro, zip up your fly

It hurts!

Hang in there, Granny

No, call the hospital

Hey, what's up!

This looks bad

Your son's car hit her at that crosswalk with no streetlights

I asked a friend in the... Department of Transportation,

who found out it's your son's car

He could be charged with hit-and-run

Shall I call the police?

The timing's all wrong

What's going on?

According to Kosuke,

we don't have any marks lined up for wedding fraud

Jun had a great idea

Just the sort of idea from a yakuza in training

I'm not really into it. It's a one-note drama

I considered the "fake-son" con, but it's not exactly our style

We put the mark on some new millionaire,

and when his kid drives out in some fancy car, bingo!

We offer a friendly settlement, for at least 1 million

Who's she?

I heard you have a spare room on the 2nd floor, practically free

She cons people, too

That's a little harsh

But your little scheme won't work

-Why not? -Listen, with wedding fraud,

the marks have no idea they've been tricked

With your scheme they'll know

they've been tricked when the son comes

Oh, guess you're right

No, please hold on

This new millionaire with the kid and the fancy car

Say, I stuff a pillow up my dress and...

"It's true!"

"He is your son, right?"

"He's definitely my baby's father!"

"How can you be so cold?"

That's the pitch

All of you, Granny, Grandpa, too, start crying

All my brothers are furious and then it's your turn

You're training to be a yakuza, right?

Yo, my older sister here...

Younger sister

Younger...

You think you can get off knockin' up

my younger sister without paying?

This way, even when the son comes home

after the panicked parents have paid money,

they won't figure it out because the son plays with lots of girls

And they won't go to the cops

Sounds like a really meaty role

Sounds like we got ourselves a new young actress

A genius!

Being called a genius is a little...

You had a hard time, didn't you?

Have you prayed for the baby?

I've been praying for mine, all these 50 years

Grandma Nori, are you nuts? It's just a story she made up

It's all right

Women use tears to flush their pain

Then you'll be ready for new pain

OK?

What's all this about?

I want to party hard tonight

It's time we all got drunk together

What! For real!

It's true!

For real!

I'll die, I'll die on you!

That's how they crashed into our car

That's back when they were seriously depressed

Kosuke and Goro were

And that's how we all started living together here

Idiots!

I'm depressed!

Depressed! Depressed! Enough to shoot you!

So, Kosuke's going back to the sea to become a fisherman

It'll fix his depression

It's fixable!

A man of the sea!

Who? Who goes there?

Shut up

Who? Who goes there?

"As requested, I presumptuously announce myself"

"I hail from the village of Kunisada..."

Boss!

Hey Asa!

Should I die in obscurity here,

Kunisada Chuji's name would be dishonored

"If you're going to dance the dance,"

"dance to the Song of Tokyo"

"In the glorious capital"

"In the middle of the glorious capital..."

See ya

See ya

See ya

Hey, Jun, this way

Hey, Blackie

Kosuke

"Witness Saw Ishibashi Kidnapped"

"Midtown Hotel Afternoon before Hearing"

Hey, kitty, hey

"Witness to Kidnapping in Hotel Basement Lot"

"Mystery Man Delivers Evidence to TV Station"

"A man delivered recorded evidence to NMN TV,"

"shortly before Ishibashi..."

It's me. I'm the one that did that

From that drawer

I didn't give it to them. I ran away

Kosuke...

Money... I needed a lot of money right away

What's the rush?

I got a call from Mom yesterday

Dad can't raise the money to buy his boat back

They're both sick and broke

So you sold us out?

Tried to

You sold out our lives

Is it that bad?

We're leaving here. Get ready

We're being evicted?

That's right

We didn't pay into our pension plans

We need to find ourselves a cheap nursing home

Can't rely on the government now

I'll go see what I can find

Hold onto this.

If things get really bad, you take it to the cops

-Just me? -Goro!

Jun and Tatsu...

You can't reach them?

Darn

Did you grab the cash?

You're the only one who saved up

I can't make it. What did I do!

Take your meds. Let's go

The cops

Should we confess?

It's just a cover. So they can walk right in

I'm sorry... I got you involved

Kosuke, look after her

Anybody home?

You already rub out Tatsuo and Jun?

Speak proper Japanese

Say

Who is Goro, really?

I've never figured him out either

Run!

Hurry

Let's go!

Over there

Goro

What!

This card...

Look after it

Let's go

Kosuke?

No!

Guys...

Kosuke!

Hey!

Kosuke!

Buckle up

Let's go

What's an "ecological" dress code...

You kept us waiting 1 hour. Bet things are crazy around here

It's the media that's going crazy

R.C.A.

What?

We checked the vehicles visible on that surveillance video

and found one vehicle, registered to R.C.A., so they say

R.C.A. Risk Coverage Agency

Covert ops that handle discord at the center of power

A shadow military, so they say

The boss?

Kijima Ko

What? No "so they say"?

You can have your picture back

It's blurry. It's probably a look-alike

No smoking

That day, we were at that hotel...

We scoped you out

You squeak by on some two-bit scams, right?

I'm the only one left. Just arrest me

Use this to indict that Kijima guy

I want to make sure nothing happens to her

I want you both to go home

There'll be no record of your visit to this station

or what you told me

Oh, yeah?

Let's go

The chief only cares about his career!

If I get us in over our heads, his future is over!

What an idiot

Minister, can we have a word?

A word!

Minister Atsugi, please

Do you really know nothing about R.C.A.?

I know nothing

But the allegations against you will remain

Japanese bureaucrats may be cowards,

but when provoked, turn into monsters. That's all

So, Vice Minister. That's his move

So, I'm a monster?

The sly fox himself, telling it like it is

If he's backed against the wall,

his plan is to blame it all on you

He already has

I was supposed to get 30% of his take

And now I'm the cash delivery guy. Here's your final payment

As usual, I can't write a receipt

You won't mess up this time, right?

What?

You had witnesses to the scene and your car recorded by surveillance

Those risk factors are all covered,

by the extra fees R.C.A. charges

Monster

Cremate all of them

Yes, sir

The young folk all ran off just when we need them

Don't break your hip

I won't

Next...Hurry up

Forget the trophy

Oh, load the trophy up

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot"

"And never brought to mind"

"Should auld acquaintance lose their minds"

"And wind up in a ditch"

Kosuke said, 4, 6, 4, 9

Come on

Please take your card and receipt. Thank you

Go straight and right at the hill

Thank you

That way

"Harukawa Kenichi, Yoshiko, Kosuke"

A pen

"From Kosuke"

Kosuke made it back to the sea

Where's the Chameleon star?

You can't see it in the bright of the day

You've got a point

Actually...

-Not true -Not true

It's on the far side of the Earth,

visible from the Southern Hemisphere

For real?

The Chameleon star's always trying to catch the Fly star

In the North, the Fly's catching the Chameleon

The matches Kosuke gave me won't light

-Let's ... -I'm Goro

I'm Goro,

and Goro is me

Living like cinders and ash...

and imagining you'll die,

But then the weak flame glows again

The flame flickers out and turns to ash again

Let's split up here

I want to thank you... For sticking around

Oh, yeah?

I get it

Is what I'd like to say, but can't . How pathetic

Keiko

"Who's behind me..."

Who the heck are you!

What the heck you doin'

Where the heck do you think you are!

What the heck are you doin'

Who are you!

Are you crazy!

Stay back!

Where's your boss?

I was waiting for you

Time for you and your darling girlfriend to finally die

Amazing...

The boss is...

Witness Kijima

Our firm is no more than a security company

We had no involvement

Chairman

Abe Teppei

Kijima,

do you really have no involvement with Minister Atsugi?

If you're exposed later, you'll be up for more than perjury

Witness Kijima

No involvement at all

We're sick of that line!

-You're in on it! -For how much!

Chairman

Abe Teppei

Going back to my earlier question,

you abducted Ishibashi at the hotel, right?

Admit it!

Admit it!

Witness Kijima

Regarding the question of whether I,

or someone involved with my company

had contact with or possibly kidnapped Ishibashi

at the Oriental Plaza Hotel, on the date and time stipulated,

there is not a shred of evidence

If anything, M.P. Abe,

I am struggling to comprehend on what basis you imagined

such a wild scenario...

Chairman

Chairman!

Look at this photo

Here's your evidence

He's in the picture!

Kijima's in the picture!

Minister!

You put him up to it!

I've been framed, haven't l?

What the heck would happen to this country without us

My right arm and I will be waiting for you outside

What'll we do now?

Go back to slacking...