Original subtitles

Hey.

Nice to meet you, Skipper.

Joe.

Rob.

How you going?

Good, mate.

Archie.

Welcome to heaven.

Get this bloke some money, mate, for carrying your stuff again, mate.

Hey, don't give him that much.

You're ruining the economy.

Family.

First trip, eh?

Oh, yeah.

Seems the other two are coming in from Singapore.

They'll be a while yet.

Oh, what about Ball?

Is he in?

His flight landed about two hours ago from Lombok.

He hasn't surfaced yet.

Oh, God.

It doesn't get much better than this.

Speak of the devil.

Hey.

Fellas.

How you doing?

Archie.

Archie Cox.

Man, he's gonna be off the hook.

Good to meet you, Grummy.

How are you, mate?

Hey, Rob.

Good to meet you.

Yeah, likewise, eh?

Joey.

How are you, mate?

What took you so long?

A little bit of mix-up in customs.

I must have ticked the wrong box.

Let's hit the streets.

Bull, you can give us a tour, yeah?

Yes, I know.

I'm here.

Anyone of them out of correct?

Cool.

Man, you were solid in corduroy.

I swear I must have watched that video a million times.

Jeez, Grummy.

I thought you ditched him.

Well, you know what?

You gotta make them do it and then they'll leave you alone.

But it's obviously not working.

I'm gonna dump him for you.

No, no, no, don't.

I won't.

No, don't!

I will send him a postcard or something.

I swear.

That's us.

Where's everybody else?

Yeah, eating in the wood.

What kind of fish is that?

Tuna.

Nah, it's tornado.

This is the betel nut, mate.

You try it, okay?

Are we wrapped?

Like this?

Hmm?

I'd not swallow.

Mmm.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ooh.

Oh, hello there, sexy.

Hello there.

Maybe you should make a film about me.

Maybe I am.

Oh, Robbie.

You can't date that on the boat, mate.

She's a muscular.

What, is she gonna keep you warm at night?

Nah, I'm not that desperate.

No animals, no bananas on board, mate.

It's a bad act.

Boo!

What was that?

Tubes!

A kid!

A kid!

A kid!

Boo!

There she is, boys.

You're home for 12 days.

Boo!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Tubes?

Tubes-y!

Boo!

No, no, no, no!

What happened?

What happened?

Ah, they were out of an accident.

They hit a goat.

He's saying it's the skipper's fault.

He wants Goataway with him.

Trying to give her money, hey.

What about the money, mate?

Terrificion, you know?

Bye-bye, Bananas.

Thank you.

Sorry.

Thank God you're here, Paul.

I'm Martin.

You're the fellow I've been emailing, yeah?

Yeah.

Susie, Paul, good to see you, mate.

I'm stoked you made it.

Thanks for having me.

This is my beautiful girlfriend, Alex.

And my good friend, Sam.

Hi.

Rob.

Rob.

Archie.

Hi.

And I want to know your name, Paul.

Paul, it's nice to meet you.

Yeah, nice to meet you.

Have I met you somewhere before?

Um, no, I don't think so.

That must happen to you all the time, hey?

Hey, Paul.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, thanks for whatever you said the other day.

I mean, no one would tell us what was happening.

Yeah, it's all right.

I was just...

It's different out here, you know?

Local knowledge and ways and... Good start to the trip, though, eh?

Yeah.

Drink?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Susie.

What's going on, mate?

You know the rules.

Man.

It's either cancel the trip or bring the girls, no?

The rules are meant to be broken.

Yeah.

Actually, Alex wants to shoot a doco.

About Lost Legends.

She thought she might get some pretty to you if you're up for it.

You lost Legend.

You bet, eh?

Yeah.

You'll like her.

She's going through a hard time.

Be good for her to be out here.

What the fuck?

It's your charter.

Let's pull up Baker.

Flash on.

This is our chief engineer, Ashoka.

Barry Crocker, eh?

Now, here's the charge.

We're 12 days out here.

It's a long time if you're not ready.

We're not used to boats.

A couple of simple pieces of advice.

We're all going to have a great time, but there's one thing that can blow it.

And that's where one dickhead ruins it for the whole team.

My advice is, don't be that dickhead.

What?

Secondly, out on the open sea, there are certain protocols that we must follow.

I am the captain, and although I'm very willing to listen to your suggestions and

comments, at the end of the day, this is a ship, not a democracy.

The final decision is mine.

No ifs or buts.

Off you go, Ashoka.

I'll go to work.

Let me show you the kitchen and the wheelhouse down here.

Sam, after you.

I know, it's fine.

No, no, no, I insist.

No need to be a gentleman.

All right.

No perving.

Perving at what?

These.

Whoo!

Mr. Zibby at the wheel.

Hey, you like these shirts?

I just got them.

Oh, yeah.

Classy, eh?

The wheel, right.

Yeah, turn that way.

It goes that way.

Turn that way.

It goes that way, too, eh?

Throttle makes you go faster or slower.

GPS tells us where to go.

Well, that's a good one.

That was my job.

All right.

Feel free to show me those secret breaks, mate.

Oh, if you're lucky.

Mate, um, don't we have to say goodbye to the first guard or some shit?

If we break down out here, we have to get ourselves out of trouble.

There it is.

12 hours offshore.

Right in the middle of nothing.

We'll settle it in the first night here.

Tomorrow night, we'll cross the line and sail into paradise.

Heh.

What?

Oh.

Sorry, Ant.

There's room for all of us.

Four's a crowd, kid.

Three's a crowd.

Four's a force.

Nice try, Grom.

Tough being the odd man out, eh, Grom?

Yeah.

Don't trust baggage handlers, eh?

You never trust anyone when you travel.

Now, don't sweat it, Grom.

You can share with me, mate.

Oh, great.

Yes!

Unreal!

Oh.

Hey, there's two beds in here.

Hey, Bull, can I have a top bunk?

Yeah, why not?

Sweet.

What are the locals like out on the island?

Of course, they're pretty religious, you know.

Just cover up, especially the girls.

Hey, Bull, you used to live on the island, didn't you?

Yeah, the first time I was out here, I hired this shitty

little fishing boat to go in search of waves off this bloke.

Nice bloke, you know, local bloke.

But he couldn't work out how I could surf all day and not work the fish.

You know, it's his livelihood.

Anyway, after a couple of weeks, I was starting to get the shit

slipping on the boat.

You know, I was skanky and stinky and bilgy.

I thought I'd try and... I thought it was coarse.

Oh.

Oh.

Damn.

Oh.

I love sushi.

It's my favourite.

Anytime.

Ebby, that's your job.

Get up here.

I'm trying to put a bloke out of a job, Rob.

Yeah, that's it.

You know I'm... Oh.

Oh.

Ow.

But anyway, anyway.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

See?

Yeah.

I'm in the middle of my story.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

I want to hear your story.

I'm filming your story.

Go.

So I'm on the beach, right?

You know, having the best sleep that I'd had in bloody weeks.

And then I wake up in the morning to find all my gear on

the sand and the bastard fish had buggered off.

I could have bloody killed the prick.

But, you know, jake's on him because I walked

around the island and I found a butchery.

I had it solid for five weeks and, you know, well, the rest is history.

Nice one.

Yeah, man.

I'll take you there.

Yeah, man.

But don't tell anyone.

I'll have to kill you.

Thanks for that.

Hey, how, how long have you

been playing the harp for?

I want to go.

How long do you reckon?

A couple of days.

You're taking the piss out of me, Grom?

No, mate.

Hey?

I just, nah.

I was just going to say I should

have brought my recorder so we could start a choir.

Are you having a little dig at me, Grom?

No, man.

Hey, you better watch yourself, mate.

Hey, bully boy.

Bobby.

Yep, mine.

Snake and me, Bobby.

Yep.

Dude, who else do you know?

First bull and Sam from the Lucky Eye clip?

Catchy finder.

Friend of Alex's.

Hey guys.

Remy.

Have you both seen the Lucky Eye clip?

Anyone look familiar?

That's Sam?

Oh, poor girl.

You don't do computers?

Oh, mate.

Buy a computer and retube it.

Sam does his trip with some boyfriend off the roof.

You reckon she'd do something for Alex's camera?

I doubt it.

Do you blame her?

So, what happens in this video, Gromit?

Best thing I've seen on the internet.

Sam does a strip with some boyfriend.

Best.

Sam from our boat?

Yeah.

Yep.

Well, what happens?

Right, well, she's got some glass hanging down.

You can only see his legs, right?

She turns around, she looks at him, she whispers in his ear, ah, lucky guy.

Anyway, she then turns around,

stares him down, starts undoing her top, pulls off her bra,

starts rubbing herself, fingers him further down.

Oh.

That too?

Yeah.

That was really good.

Nice style.

Yeah, he's not bad.

Nah, he's not bad at all.

Hey.

It's a pretty messy tackle box you've got there.

You like fishing?

Who doesn't?

Alright.

Let's quit a couple of rhymes.

Hey, Skip.

Do you want to slow us down for a while?

We're going to throw out a couple of lures.

It's your holiday.

Don't call me Skip.

I'm not a bloody kangaroo.

Hey, Joe.

I know a little spot about ten miles from here, mate, with this

swirl and wind direction.

We'll be about to turn on.

What do you reckon?

I've been asked to slow down the boat for some fishing.

What?

Yep.

I think there's a bit more than fishing going on back there.

Whoa.

Hey.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Looks like I'm doing, Bobby.

It's not a fishing charter, mate.

Yeah, I paid money to be here.

You're right.

Mate, we're in a bit of a hurry, you know?

So what?

It'll slow us down by an hour.

What's the rush?

Cable.

Why don't you just give us half an hour and if we don't hook

up with Paul, we'll be fine.

Okay.

What's up?

He's ours.

Oh, he's just king.

Whoa.

What's the chances of that?

Hey, hey.

Yeah.

You go.

Come on.

Go on.

Take it.

Let it run.

Let it run.

You're going to lose it.

Hope she's not full.

She's gone.

Woo!

Let it run.

Let it run.

It's not hooked.

Oh.

It's not hooked.

It's a hook.

Look at the rod.

Look at her.

You're going to lose it.

Oh.

I lost it.

Well done.

Just to know it all.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

Yeah, well, no, obviously.

Oh well.

Next one.

I've never seen that break.

Right tide, right window.

Hey, Paul?

What's this spot called?

I reckon it's called Archie's.

Better go claim it, kid.

Alex!

Alex, get your camera!

Get into it, Archie.

Go, Grummie.

Hand shots on?

Oh, you won.

Nice of you on the cake.

Oh, wow!

Hello, my friends.

They look so free.

Oh, they're everywhere.

Look, there's babies, babies.

Ah, beautiful, huh?

Hey, Sam?

Would you trust me?

Yeah, of course.

Go.

OK, just hang on, OK?

Do I just sit down?

Yeah, sit down.

Sit down on the anchor.

Yeah.

Yeah!

I've never seen him hang around this long before.

I don't know what you're doing to him.

What's

up?

Go on, try and touch one.

Come to

say hello to you, Sam.

That was amazing.

Oh, I told you he'd like it.

Thanks.

Oh.

Go to sleep, grubby.

Get your hand off it.

That's it, eh?

That's the butchering.

This looks pretty solid.

So how long's it been, Bull?

Yeah, six years.

What are you guys waiting for?

A written invitation.

Get the hell out there.

Yeah, come on, I'm out there.

All right, pew-pew!

How'd you ever catch up to that fish who dumped you here?

Nah.

He knows what happened to him.

Big ocean.

A lot of guys.

Oh, hey, could you give us a hand to do my back?

Yeah, sure.

Hey.

I can reach my legs.

Oh.

What did you do to your leg?

Oh.

You okay?

Yeah, just lost a bit of a fight with the reef.

I hope you didn't start one.

Okay.

Ready?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Oh!

Just one more.

One more.

Look at that.

Look at that.

It got away.

It really burns.

A little souvenir from the butchery, eh, Bobby?

It burns.

Oh, fuck!

I can't believe I'm in my time, I tell you.

Let me a girl.

Fuck off, it hurts.

I think you left a pip in there.

It lodged in there.

Oh, that's great.

All right.

Oh, my God.

You're gonna sprout a lot.

I said that is a bit disgusting.

Okay, I'll do one more.

I'll do one more.

Okay, that's enough.

Thank you, thank you.

That's great.

I'm not even...

I'm angry.

What happened?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Hey, guys.

Oh.

How you doing?

Hey, you tourists want to buy a boat?

Where'd you get that from?

This is what a million rupiah will buy you.

What are you gonna do with it?

I'm gonna take it home and I'm gonna give it to my dad.

Customs are gonna love you, eh?

Hey, Bull.

Bull, someone on the island said he remembers you.

Yeah, right.

That'll be good, actually.

Let's go in, then I can film the reunion.

Maybe later, eh?

Oh, get lost.

Where did that toss come from?

School.

This dude's been here for months.

Oh, what a tool.

Looks like someone's trying to steal your act, Bull.

Not even half funny, Bobby.

Don't even think about it, kook.

You got yourself a duffel gang in there.

Ooh.

That was impressive.

Come on, Bull, you're gonna show us who really owns the butchery.

It's not an issue.

Come on, boys.

Right behind you.

Oi, you got any sunblock?

I'll be back.

Yeah, fuck.

Come on.

Fucking come on.

Hey.

Woo!

Give us a wave!

Here we go, Bull.

This one's mine.

Of course, mate.

Go.

Here.

Go.

Go!

Stop!

Stop!

Leave it!

Leave it, Bull!

Mate!

Looks like he's claiming it to me.

Piss off.

Here he comes, Bull.

You tell him, mate.

What's going on over there?

Um... I can't quite see, but it looks like Bull's had a go at him.

He doesn't seriously believe his own bullshit, does he?

Speak English!

Fucking go!

Hey!

Come on, mate!

Come on!

Come on, have a go at the Bull!

Go on!

I think that's the last one.

This is my fucking wave!

This is my fucking wave!

That's right, Bull.

Nice.

Nice work, son.

Piss off, idiot!

That all you got in, yeah?

That's it.

You're gonna let him go, eh?

Sit down, Bobby.

Go on then, mate.

You show him who owns the butchery.

Hey, punts!

Hey, punts!

Come here!

You're such a pain in the ass.

Hey, come here!

What's your problem, mate?

Idiot.

Hey!

What are you, a little fucking barcat in the surf, aren't you, mate?

Hey!

It's all right, mate.

Come on, shake me hand.

Come on, mate.

It's all good.

Shake me hand.

Come on, here you go.

Come on.

Fuck!

You fucking dickhead!

Fuck you!

You fucking disrespectful!

Bull.

Fuck!

Hey, Bull!

Take it easy.

Why bleeding, Bobby?

Eh?

Boy, fucking boy!

Come on, man.

Easy.

What happened?

What did he say to you?

He was being a smartass.

Well, you might want to keep your head out of the water for a while.

I reckon I could find something else to do.

Hey!

You don't muck around, do you, champ?

Eh?

One less to deal with out there, eh?

Oh, Jesus, Paul.

Oh, my God.

This is not good.

Shit.

Fucking idiot.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, that's a break.

Isn't it?

Guys, that's enough.

Please.

Come on, Sam.

You've got to fight for what you believe, you.

No, that's enough.

What the fuck are you talking about, Bobby?

You started it.

You see this?

This is honour.

Yeah, well, imagine if your mum saw that.

Oh, yeah, right, of course, yeah.

You can talk, computer girl.

Oh, let's all have a little hissy and run away.

Shall we?

I wasn't getting it out for bloody a million people, was I?

I was fighting for what's fucking mine.

Fucking soft cock.

I wouldn't want to fight you, Bob.

You won't have to, Teepsie.

I don't know.

Fuck it.

Hey.

Hey.

You OK?

He didn't make a mistake.

He did.

He was a fool.

Over a million hits, apparently.

Well, you did.

Well, beautiful.

I'm going to trade you.

No one's ever seen it that way.

He should have kept it to himself.

That was the intention.

Mm.

I just wish we could get off this boat for a while.

Yeah, we can.

Come with me.

What do you reckon?

Should we watch it again?

No.

Yeah, Teepsie?

Make it back on, eh?

How does this fucking thing work, eh?

Hey!

...or do I press...?

Wait!

Oh, this is nice.

That's your woman, isn't it?

Woo!

She's got the fucking docko making, doesn't she?

Use cart.

Giddy.

Secondly, cocksucker didn't fucking do him any good, did it?

Look at him.

He even looks like he can believe his own bullshit.

Doesn't seriously believe his, own bullshit, does he?

He doesn't seriously

believe his own bullshit, does he?

No.

Hmm.

Where have you been, young lady?

No way.

Couldn't hear anything out the window.

Couldn't see a thing.

Stop it!

I was fucking gullet.

I was a zombie.

I didn't get out of bed for about a week.

You know what the cure is, grummy?

What?

You gotta learn to fucking hate them.

Hey, Rob.

How was she?

Hey, Sam.

Sorry.

We're fine.

We're good, really.

Now, I'm telling you two, you definitely thought he was in, huh?

As if there was ever any competition.

Fellas, how was it?

Yeah, not too shabby.

Yeah?

Hey, you guys haven't seen my harp out there?

Where'd you have it last?

Just up on the deck?

Why would we know?

Anybody seen Bull's harp?

Yeah, it might have fallen overboard.

Well, what's the fucking holdup then?

You go?

Mate, it was just a bit of a joke, eh?

No one's laughing, Bobby.

Hey, Bull.

I got it.

Hey, Rob.

You coming out or what?

Nah, mate.

I'll see you soon, mate.

Whoo!

He's a fast mover.

Oh, that felt funny.

Have you got sea legs?

A little bit.

Oh.

I'll be back soon.

Better be.

Couldn't stay away, huh?

I think I'm getting burnt.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

You are an animal.

Come on, ask her.

OK?

I didn't know it was him, I swear.

Shocker.

We've got a problem.

No, you won't need your knife.

I'll handle it.

Ibby, get the dinkie.

Come on, you.

Fuck!

What's going on?

Hey, just settle down, Bobby boy.

You want to have a go, mate?

Throw one.

Throw one.

Fucking psycho, mate.

Come on, mate.

Hey!

Fucking psycho.

Huh?

I tried to rape her.

Fucking... fucking... Hey!

I'll drive her right to you.

Back up!

This is keeping the fuck away from me!

You!

Back off!

Let's sort this out.

Hey!

Have a go at the bull, then, Bobby!

Go, you cancer!

Have a go!

All right, Joe, I'm cool.

I'm cool, mate.

Settle down.

Cool, Joe, I'm cool.

Fuck it!

Back off!

Bull!

Either you violated Samantha or you didn't.

If you did, you fucked it for everybody.

If he didn't, let's just call it a misunderstanding.

Oh, this is bullshit!

What do you want to do?

The nearest cop is 200 miles away, and he wouldn't give a

flying rat's ass about a bunch of tourists.

Let's all get back on the boat.

Talk to Samantha and sort this out.

Get on the boat now!

You're fucking kidding me.

Now!

It's your fucking fault, turdsy.

Shut up!

What did I tell you?

What did I tell you, mate?

What did I say about bringing chicks along, eh?

Shut up!

Hey, hey, Bobby, what are you doing?

Get on the boat!

Hey, come on, what's going on?

I'm coming, Joe.

Settle down, mate.

Go!

Mate!

If I'd just come in here, I was doing my own thing.

She asked for a rubdown.

She's that type of chick.

What's a bloke supposed to do?

Come on, Bobby.

Share the love, mate.

What's the go?

What's going on?

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

What's the go?

Come on, Bobby.

Tell me what's happened.

He attacked me.

Who?

Bob.

I thought it was Rob.

His fingers were inside me.

No, Alex, please!

Just don't let him near me.

You're disgusting.

He violated her!

Yeah, well, that's hard to prove.

So, this is bullshit.

The guy is an animal.

He deserves to be castrated.

You should leave him on the beach.

I think that's a bad idea.

If we can't sort this out, I'm turning the boat round for the mainland.

Good, let's go.

We've got to talk this through with Samantha.

Rob, come with me.

You did good today, Archie.

Paul, there's...

there's some talk of turning it over home if things are you and.

..

you and Sam don't sort themselves out.

That'd be right.

Don't worry about it, Archie.

We'll sort her out, mate.

OK?

OK?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Baby.

What if this had happened to me, what would you do?

You know, what if this was your sister?

Well, if it isn't you, I don't have a sister.

No, that's not... I don't know what's happened yet.

Just give me a chance to work it out.

Her struggling doesn't make it a crime, so.

..

It's hysterical.

We thought what didn't turn up there.

..

I thought two of them were on the beach together.

Anyway, you're out, sir.

I can't... I don't know what I see.

Sam.

Sam.

Can we talk about this?

Just open up so we can sort this out.

Sam.

I think you're blowing this out of proportion.

Sam?

Sam!

He

tried to attack me again!

He tried to get in my room!

Take him away!

You go for the bloody boat!

Get him out of here!

No, you don't!

Please, get him away!

All right, mate, I need to get away, I'm done!

You're a psycho.

He tried to attack me, please!

Get him off this boat!

Where are we going?

I can't see him.

It's a pin, Joe.

Is that you, Bobby?

Are you out of your crap?

It's getting hot.

Are you out of your game, Bobby?

Joe, my pin's not with you, mate.

I was just trying to apologise to her.

Get in there.

She's that kind of girl, Joe.

That's all I'm saying to you, mate.

I can't fucking see, mate.

Get on out.

What are you, making me walk the plank, Joe?

Don't give a fuck.

Get on out.

Hey, Bobby, she's hot-blooded, this one.

Where are you, Bobby?

Oh, yeah, she's good, that one.

You have a bit of fun, Bobby, boy.

Get on out.

Get on out.

Fuck off, boy.

You come down here and say that, Bobby.

Yeah, have a nice sleep out there, mate.

Say it, but I can't fucking see, mate, eh?

Then you, Bobby.

You all right, mate?

You stay there.

Thank you, buddy.

Eh?

We'll get after you.

Oh, all right, Joe.

Where are you?

Don't fuck, boy.

You're awful, buddy.

You're awful, eh?

No!

Take off my arms, eh?

You fuckers!

Hey!

Hey, Bobby!

Do I have a fucking go at the ball?

Come to the beach, you fucker!

Look at you, you sock cock!

You're all fucking bark!

And you're no fucking boy!

You're all fucking fuck!

Come on, Bobby boy!

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

I don't know what's going on with you, but you've got a

whole while under yourself to sort it out.

A big ape like you might enjoy a night on the beach.

See you in the morning.

No, thanks, Joe.

Thanks for looking after him, mate.

Thank you.

That's great.

No more being on here.

Not in bloody paradise I am.

Look at this.

I'll show you what I've got.

I'm going to take you out of this hell.

I'll give you a fucking jam.

Oh, that's lovely, that is.

Eh?

Much better, Joe.

Well done, mate.

Good solution.

Yeah, man, now enjoy.

Enjoy.

Put up the sails.

Hang over the bow.

Dangling your little toes in the water.

Eh?

Maybe we'll get some dolphins, Sam.

Maybe we'll get some dolphins!

Hey.

Sam will be OK.

And what if he tries to swim back?

There's no hope.

No chance.

The tides, they come in and out of these assholes, like a river.

He'd be washed out to sea.

He's not that stupid.

Don't let him back on the boat.

That's not gonna happen.

I promise you, you're safe.

You're missing out on something, Sam, let me tell you.

You're missing out on a whole fucking lot of it.

You little whore.

Jesus Christ.

I didn't mean that.

I didn't mean that.

That's just nasty, you know.

That's just nasty talk.

I like you.

I like you.

We had a moment.

Tell me we didn't not walk away.

My mistake.

I wear it like a fucking velour v-neck cardigan.

Tell me I'm wrong.

Come back and get the bull.

Come back and get the bull.

I am sorry, you guys.

Hit it pretty hard, poor kid.

You reckon he's calmed down?

He didn't like his coke malaria.

Not really.

Morning.

How are you feeling?

Thanks, but...

I have to sort this out myself.

Yeah, sure.

It's good.

When we get back, we'll head to the mainland.

Good.

Charge!

Charge!

Tubes in my... where you going?

.

That was never proof.

Shit.

You use those tubes, don't you not?

How?

I don't know.

I think he fucking swam.

What?

Are we moving?

Are we moving?

The skipper will never be able to catch it.

Can't you see the zodiac?

No.

I can't see the zodiac.

The zodiac goes faster than the boat, okay?

So the skipper is still going to make it here and everything is going to be fine.

So we just need to keep calm.

Hey!

Move!

What?

What?

What?

Oh, Bobby!

Hey, you missed the boat, mate!

Have a little bit of that, Bobby boy!

Hey, how does that feel?

.

How's your democracy going now, you big ape?

.

Oh, look!

Double bonger!

.

.

Stop it, mate!

It's not your wife!

It's war!

It's not one of your thoughts!

It's not going to stop me from picking you!

Hey, Joe!

Where are you going with that?

Shut up!

Did you forget something?

Here you go!

Can't quite eat, mate.

Stop that!

No, sorry!

All gone, Joe!

All gone!

Pay for this ball!

Oh, you're getting closer!

What's up, Michael Magnus?

Catch up to him!

Oh!

Right round the crop!

How about that?

That's a tragedy!

Toodle-oo, Joe!

Get him off the spot!

You silly bugger, Bobby!

Hey, you silly bugger!

What, are you going to have a go at the ball, are you?

What, your balls have dropped, have they, mate?

You can have another go!

Come on, Bobby, I'll give you your first punch, mate.

Go on, have a go!

Bobby!

That nearly hurt!

Back off!

I'm not going anywhere, Bobby!

Don't be silly!

Come on, have another go!

Call my mum!

Come on, Bobby, you can do better than that!

Keep your guard up, mate!

Keep them up!

You stupid bastard!

Go on, have another go, Bobby!

Hey!

Bobby!

You think about this, all right?

Is that it?

Hey, is that it?

I've got a little surprise for you, Bobby.

A little surprise.

Come with me.

Why did you invite him?

Did I know any of this shit was going to happen?

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!

It's my fault, I fucked up.

I'm sorry, Sam.

He's just angry.

He's angry, right?

What the fuck is he doing here?

I'm going to go and talk to him.

Yeah.

Lock the door.

Now, Bobby.

In fishing terms, you're what we call the bait.

Stop, Paul.

Stop, yeah?

Stop.

Stop the boat.

Drop the anchor.

That's what you want me to do.

Because, you know, it's a bit of trouble.

Please, stop.

Yeah, no more.

It's all right, Bobby.

Paul!

Oh, shut up, you metro fucking sexual.

Can we talk about this, please, mate?

I think it's a little bit late for that, Toobsy.

Sam!

Sam, how'd you come?

He's not coming out.

Toobsy, don't worry, mate.

I'm not going to kill him.

Okay?

I'm just going to finish off what she started and then everything will be rosy.

All right?

You silly bugger!

That really hurt, some of that.

Get up here!

I don't have a problem with you, okay, Toobsy?

But listen, why don't you toddle off back downstairs and.

..

Ah!

Thanks, Toobsy.

It's me.

I just want Sam.

Well, that's not going to happen, so...

I'm so sorry, guys.

No.

Sam, this is not your fault.

Look, we just have to get off this boat.

What if we can get to Archie's canoe?

Great.

We've been travelling for hours to see where you're going to go.

We'll go anywhere.

We'll just... We'll get off the boat when it's dark.

Yeah?

I can't let her up.

Oh, you're back.

Of course I'm back, Archie.

How?

I'll let the ocean work for you.

Huh?

Pulls you in and then pulls you back out.

Silly buggers.

Don't let me board on the beach.

Where is everyone?

Toobsy and the girls are just relaxing.

Poppy's hanging around.

And... and Skip?

Skip, yeah.

He probably just dropped in on someone.

You have a big night, Grommy?

Nah.

Are you all yours?

Yeah.

I'll let you go.

Hey, want to do me a favour?

Come and take the wheel?

Not too drunk, are you?

Good boy.

You look like you're getting a little bit of sun there, Bobby.

You need a bit of protection.

Here, let me do your back for you, mate.

Does it feel good?

I know it does.

But you're safe now, aren't you?

Yeah.

Go on, Archie.

What are you doing, mate?

Look, I was thinking maybe if you would.

..

Archie, mate, I was thinking that maybe you should do what I

asked you to do, which was clean up the table, please, mate.

But you made that mess.

What, are you getting drunk again, are you?

I'm not getting drunk, mate.

I'm just trying to clean up.

Where are all the sharp knives?

Hey?

Paul, it's... it's not too late to go back.

Come on, mate.

You saw how she played us along.

Hey?

What happened on the beach?

We were playing.

Get slow there, Grommy.

Now, I've seen her on the cooking shows.

Take all the flesh out, clean it all up, whack it back in.

Bloody marvellous.

Hey, Grom.

Want to taste some?

No.

No?

It's a shammy.

Sam's favourite.

I'll make sure I get all the scales out, though.

Eh?

It's OK.

She's going to love it, isn't she?

Oh, look at that.

It's a shammy aplenty.

Hey, Bobby.

You know I said I'd hate anything to happen to you.

I was bullshitting.

Stop!

You silly bugger!

There you go.

Up and over, Bobby.

Up and over.

I can't hear you, mate.

Let me come over.

Come on, give me a hand.

Jump the queue, mate.

Jump the queue, mate.

Eh?

You little snake.

You know the rules.

Rules of the water.

I've made us dinner.

So?

All right.

And Sam?

You can leave the bug spray behind this time.

I'm a little judge.

I'd hate for this to, you know, get spoiled.

So, come on.

Oh.

What a pleasant surprise.

Now, as you'll see, I run a very tight ship.

Except for you, Sam.

Now.

Our little friend here.

Hey.

There he is.

Look at him.

Enjoying the sunset.

He's going to stay right where he is.

OK?

OK?

If there's any sign of mutiny, well.

..

Come on, let's eat.

Alex?

Come on, let's go.

I'll make something out of it.

What are you doing, mate?

What are you doing?

Oh, come on.

Let's make this special.

This is going to be nice.

Now everybody's got a little name tag too.

I think you're over there, mate.

Going over a little squeeze for your card.

Name card.

Look at this.

Class, Archie.

Look at this, Sam.

I've got a little surprise for you.

Well.

Now, Sam.

I know that you love sashimi.

So.

A little bit of bloody sashimi.

Look at that.

Hey.

Isn't this nice?

Candles.

Hey, Alex.

I had no idea that you were such a good doco maker.

Hmm?

You'd be proud of her, Tubbsy.

I particularly liked one little sequence that you had.

Eh?

Is that you, Tubbsy?

Eh?

Recognise that?

Eh?

Look at that.

Listen to that.

That's hot, that is.

Hey, look at that.

Eh?

Now have a look, Sam.

Look at that.

Look at that.

I mean, have a look, mate.

She's very talented.

You're very talented.

There we are.

Isn't it that?

Eh?

What, did you think you were alone?

Hey, Alex.

You love Tubbs?

You gotta stop this.

Sorry, did I ask you to speak, Tubbs?

Did I?

I tell you what, mate.

How about, um, you shut the fuck up?

Okay?

I swear to God, you shut the

fuck up because I will fuck you up.

Show me, then.

What?

Come on.

Give me a kiss.

Come on.

Come on.

Come here.

Look out, big fella.

Come on.

Come here.

Come on.

On the lips.

On the lips.

That's nice, that is.

There you go.

Eh?

Beautiful.

Eh?

That's bloody lovely, that is.

Eh?

Eh?

You gotta love a double date, don't ya?

Hmm?

Hey, look at these two.

Sam, look at these two.

Hey, look at them.

Look at them.

Hey, get a bloody room.

Get a room, you two.

Hey, Sam.

My buddy's been together a couple of days.

Party's just begun.

You don't wanna go home yet, do ya?

Eh?

Do you, Sam?

You know, there are certain lessons in life that everyone has to learn.

This is your one.

Bobby will get over it.

Ah, shit.

Bobby.

Hey, Bobby baby!

You alright down there, buddy?

Hey, hey, what the fucking hell are you doing, Toob?

Sit the fuck down!

Shut up and sit down!

Sorry, mate.

Just getting a little bit

carried away in here.

But hang in there.

Eh?

Hang in there.

What a little joke.

Come on.

Eh?

Hey.

Hey, Alex.

You know, that'd be romantic.

You could shoot us at it.

Hmm?

You're a good bid for the doco.

You see, that's what surf bids are lacking these days, I think.

A little bit of bloody depth.

How about...

How about... How about we do a little bit of something now?

Like, you just...

We could do a bit of a...

an intro to it all, you know?

We could do a bit of one-on-one, but you have to sit over here.

And then I can...

I could get a single of you and we can do a bit of an interview.

How do you feel about that?

Great.

Right.

Here you go.

This is why, eh?

Here's your little camera.

Here.

Yep.

Or it'd be like bloody, uh...

bloody Parkinson.

Eh?

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is the bull!

Come on down!

Let's do it.

How do I look, Grommie?

Grommie.

Archie.

How do I look?

Huh?

Hey, Sam.

Sam.

Sam.

Hang on there.

Okay?

What makes...

Bull the legend?

What kind of a silly question's that?

You can't ask me.

I can't answer that.

I'm gonna sound like a bloody wanker.

No, you won't.

You gotta ask somebody else.

Ask Archie.

Ask the Grom.

Archie.

I don't know.

Surfing?

Stuff?

Yeah, and?

That was hopeless, mate.

That was hopeless.

You must have won heaps of competitions, right?

No.

What do you mean?

I don't compete, Alex.

So you've never won?

No.

How... No.

You can't lose if there's no bloody competition.

Do you have many friends, Bull?

I've got a fucking heaps of friends.

I've got a fucking heaps of friends.

I don't.

Fuck, man.

What do you want from us?

Don't get upset, Alex.

I don't want anything from us.

Not from us.

Okay?

I just want Sam.

Hey, Sam.

Would you trust me?

Really?

Alex, get your camera.

Come on, Alex.

Come on.

Come on, sweetheart.

I'll grow a fucking beard waiting for you.

Come on, come on.

Come over here.

There.

Stand there.

You cover it from there, okay?

Robbie, come here, mate.

Archie.

Good boy.

You stand here.

You can be my co-director.

All right?

That's great.

Sam, come on, sweetheart.

Come on.

It's gonna be... It's all right.

It's all right.

Come on.

Come on, mate.

Sam.

Come on.

Come with me.

Come on.

Over here.

Over here.

Over here.

Over here.

You just stand right there.

That's...

First bloody record, Alex.

Now, Sam.

I want you to make me a video.

What have we got here?

That's nice.

That'll set the mood.

Make it easier.

All right, Archie, tell her what she has to do, mate.

What?

Tell her what she has to do.

You've seen the video a hundred times.

Paul, please.

You can't make me say that.

Come on, mate.

Please.

What does she do in the video?

You've explained it to me.

What does she do?

Don't be serious.

I'm not talking about it.

Come on, Archie.

What are you doing, mate?

You've told me.

Just tell her what to do.

Top off first.

Do better than that, Archie.

You know, she's rubbing her tits and all over the guy.

Sexy.

I'm not saying anymore.

Is that it, is it?

Come on, Sam.

You know what to do.

Paul, please.

Don't make me drown the prick.

You don't want that on your conscience.

Make it nice.

Jesus.

Romy, what do you reckon of that picture?

Oh, what's that about?

Don't!

Don't!

Don't ruin this for me!

Stay there!

Go away!

Sam, where are you going?

Push, Sam.

Go away.

Sam!

I'm coming.

Fuck you.

I'm coming.

Get out the car.

Oh, Alex, you and me, we can play later, but one thing at a time, okay?

I can't get

it too easy, Sam.

There you go.

Come on, let's just finish this.

Sammy, come on.

Hey, hey.

Oh, too easy.

It all worked out there, mate.

Bobby, where did you come from?

Oh, come on, fellas.

Come on.

All this fuss over one little count.

Aah!

Ugh!

Ugh!

No!

No!

Just finish him!

Sam.

Oh, you're the one.

No, you don't.

Sam, how you doing?

I'm gonna be fine.

It's gonna take a long time to get back.

And then what'll happen to him?

Probably nothing.

He has to be tried here.

He can't be tried at home.

I hope so.

What?

Sam?

Sam?

Sam?

Sam?

You knew it was me on the beach.

The

legs, they were shiny like yellowing moonbeams That

little boy don't wanna follow me,

no They know me.

They're at 10 nails, twirling better than Blood would choke me to the core She let

herself in, poured herself a whiskey, then she pulled out a

whip Caught me flush on the cheek What was I to do?

Or sit there and take it after all?

I had known her sister last week.

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