All language subtitles for S07 - E08 - Miami Twice (Part 2)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,980 --> 00:00:09,980 FAINT MUSIC: "Rocking All Over The World" 2 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,980 We've done it, Rodders! 3 00:00:15,980 --> 00:00:19,820 Done what? Eh? 4 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,980 Done what? Joined the glitterati! 5 00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:25,980 Glitterati?! Eh? 6 00:00:25,980 --> 00:00:29,980 Take the headphones off. Eh? Oh! 7 00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:32,980 Sorry. Do what? 8 00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:38,980 What do you mean, we've joined the glitterati? We're transatlantic people now! 9 00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:45,980 No more Costa Del Sewage for us. We're in the big time! I suppose so. 10 00:00:45,980 --> 00:00:50,980 Del, when we land in Miami, before we go to any of the bars an' that, 11 00:00:50,980 --> 00:00:54,980 we've got to sort out transport and accommodation. 12 00:00:54,980 --> 00:00:58,020 All taken care of, bruv! Good. 13 00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:04,980 I'm having a nap. Give us a nudge when the drinks arrive, will yer? 14 00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:07,980 How do you get this to go back? GLASS BREAKS 15 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:10,980 WOMAN: Look what you've done! 16 00:01:10,980 --> 00:01:14,980 Sorry. It's ruined! Nah, it'll clean off. 17 00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:17,980 Use a cloth. It's dry-clean only! 18 00:01:17,980 --> 00:01:20,980 Nah, they just say that. (Bloody hell.) 19 00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:24,980 I'll do it. Hitch your skirt up. Go on! 20 00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:27,980 Give us it, here. Ha! On your own, are you? 21 00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:47,980 # Hot town, summer in the city, My neck gettin' dirty, gritty, 22 00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:51,980 # Hey, now, isn't it a pity, There's not a shadow in the city, 23 00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:57,340 # All round, people walking round Sidewalk hotter than a match, yeah! 24 00:01:57,340 --> 00:02:02,500 # At night, it's a different world, Go out and find a girl, 25 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:06,980 # We'll dance all night, Despite the heat, it'll be all right, 26 00:02:06,980 --> 00:02:11,180 # It's a pity the days aren't more like nights, 27 00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:15,340 # In the summer, in the city, In the summer, 28 00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:19,980 # In the ci-ty! 29 00:02:19,980 --> 00:02:23,980 # Cool down, evening in the city, Dressed so fine and lookin' pretty, 30 00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:28,980 # A cool cat, lookin' for a kitty, Look in every corner of the city, 31 00:02:28,980 --> 00:02:34,980 # Till I'm wheezin' at the bus stop, Comin' up to meet you on the rooftop. 32 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:38,980 # At night, it's a different world, Go out and find a girl, 33 00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:43,500 # Babe, we'll dance all night, Despite the heat, it'll be all right. 34 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:47,980 # It's a pity the days aren't more like the nights, 35 00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:50,980 # In the summer, in the city, In the summer, 36 00:02:50,980 --> 00:02:57,980 # In the ci-ty, yeah! # 37 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,820 MUSIC DROWNS SPEECH 38 00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:10,980 Oi! 39 00:03:28,980 --> 00:03:31,980 Anybody here? In here! 40 00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:38,980 Ah! Hi! How are you doin'? 41 00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:44,180 Listen, our travel agent reckons he's booked a car for us with you. 42 00:03:45,980 --> 00:03:49,980 OK. You guys on vacation? Yeah, a week's holiday. 43 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,980 You came from Australia for a week?! 44 00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:59,820 No, no. We're not from Australia. No. We are English! 45 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:02,020 Oh. Well, you could've fooled me! 46 00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:07,980 I'll just bring it around the front for you. OK. 47 00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:16,980 Oh, wotcher, America! 48 00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:20,980 This will be a holiday to remember. You said it, bruv! 49 00:04:24,980 --> 00:04:28,980 VEHICLE APPROACHES Here we go, Rodders. 50 00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:40,980 What the hell is this thing? Have a nice day, now. 51 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:43,980 And you, pal. Thank you. What is that?! 52 00:04:43,980 --> 00:04:47,980 That's where we'll live. Alex recommended it. 53 00:04:47,980 --> 00:04:56,180 The advantage is that we don't have to stay in one spot. We can move about! And...it's cheap. 54 00:04:56,180 --> 00:05:02,980 Del, there is no way I'm spending any time in this mobile ghetto with you! 55 00:05:02,980 --> 00:05:08,980 I was only trying to save you money. And we won't be trapped, will we? 56 00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:14,020 When we get to a campsite, we can dump this and go walking. Del! 57 00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:17,980 We could have booked a ho... Bloody hell. 58 00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:22,180 I don't believe that I've got... 59 00:05:23,980 --> 00:05:27,980 All right. On one condition. 60 00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:31,980 All right. What is the condition? No curries! 61 00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:34,180 All right... 62 00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:36,980 ..no curries! 63 00:05:37,980 --> 00:05:41,980 Come on, then. Let's go and see America! 64 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:58,820 Here we go, Rodders. # Oh, the yellow rose of Texas, 65 00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:00,980 # Is the one I'm gonna see! 66 00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:05,980 # The yellow rose of Texas Is the only girl for me! # 67 00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:08,980 HORN BLARES 68 00:06:08,980 --> 00:06:11,980 You're on the wrong side of the road! 69 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,980 They drive on the right over here! 70 00:06:17,340 --> 00:06:20,980 Oh, right. # Oh, the yellow rose of Texas, 71 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:27,180 # Is the one I'm gonna see! The yellow rose of Texas Is the only girl for me! # 72 00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:52,980 Yeah, what is it? 73 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,980 OK. 74 00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:58,500 Hey, Tony, Lurch, Gino, smarten up! 75 00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:02,980 The Don's left the courthouse. 76 00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:10,980 Rico. Yeah, Pop. 77 00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:14,980 Who are those goons in the car? 78 00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:19,500 Police surveillance. Don't worry. Don't worry?! 79 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:23,980 I got cops outside my door and I shouldn't worry? 80 00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:29,980 What happened to my civil rights? They kinda diminished after they arrested you. 81 00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:32,980 But you're out on bail. Be happy! 82 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,980 Be happy? 83 00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:37,980 I want to speak to my lawyer, now! 84 00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:40,980 Salvatore! 85 00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:05,980 Salvatore. 86 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,980 Don Occhetti. 87 00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:13,980 Salvatore, 88 00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:18,980 haven't I always been good to you? Yes, Don Occhetti. 89 00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:21,980 I've done favours for your family. Yes, Don Occhetti. 90 00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:25,980 Have I ever done you harm? There was that time... 91 00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:29,980 RICO CLEARS HIS THROAT No, Don Occhetti. 92 00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:40,980 So, maybe this time Salvatore can help me. See, I'm a little confused. 93 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:44,980 This is the way I read the situation. 94 00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:47,980 You are my lawyer. Correct? 95 00:09:47,980 --> 00:09:48,980 Yes. 96 00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:54,980 And here I am looking at three to four life sentences in the slammer. 97 00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:58,820 Why don't you get off your ass 98 00:09:58,820 --> 00:10:04,020 and bury this wrap?! We can't prove your innocence. 99 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:07,980 Why? 'Cos you're guilty. 100 00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:11,980 Oh, no... When I say "guilty", what I mean is... 101 00:10:11,980 --> 00:10:19,820 Guilty of what? Kidnapping, drug smuggling, accessory to three counts of murder... Gossip, Pop... 102 00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:25,820 Y...Yeah, well... Maybe I made a few mistakes in the past, you know? 103 00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:27,980 Nobody's perfect! 104 00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:37,980 Listen to me! When my father - God bless that man's spirit - 105 00:10:37,980 --> 00:10:43,980 came here from Sicily in 1930, this was a land of democracy and law and order! 106 00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:46,980 He fought to change all that! 107 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,980 And look at us now, huh... 108 00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:52,980 What have his efforts amounted to? 109 00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:56,500 Huh? Zilch, that's what! 110 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:58,500 Zilcho! 111 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:04,980 Salvatore, you're not a lawyer. You're a schmuck! 112 00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:10,180 And that goes for you, too, Rico. 113 00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:17,980 If your mother was alive today - God bless that woman's soul - she would disown you! 114 00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:20,500 Come on, Pop! 115 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:26,980 I never thought I'd see the day when a son of mine would be willing to stand back 116 00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:32,980 and watch his own father go to the State pen and share meatloaf with the faggots! 117 00:11:32,980 --> 00:11:41,020 If I go down, the families will carve up our empire like dogs fighting at a weenie roast! 118 00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:46,980 Every punk will want a slice of the action. And what about the Colombian? 119 00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:49,980 What Colombian? 120 00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:54,980 "What Colombian?" he says! Are you a jerk, Salvatore? 121 00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,980 Sit down! 122 00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:08,980 Next week, Senor Vasquez arrives from Colombia to settle a little deal. 123 00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:14,980 What do you think he'll do if he thinks I've gone down the tube? 124 00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:22,500 I'm getting very worried, Salvatore. I'm very nervous about the future. 125 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:27,180 BELCH! Did you hear that?! It's peptic gas. 126 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:30,980 It's caused by nervous exhaustion! 127 00:12:32,980 --> 00:12:36,980 Whatever happened to the Sicilian traditions - 128 00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:39,980 bribery, blackmail and intimidation? 129 00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:46,980 This isn't a local police investigation. It's the FBI. We can't pay them off. 130 00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:51,980 The jury's in a guarded hotel. The witnesses are protected. 131 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:56,500 We can't reach anyone. I'll do something about it myself! 132 00:12:56,500 --> 00:13:00,020 You can't. The police are watching you. 133 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:08,500 They have a TV crew filming you for a documentary. Filming ME? What do they think I am - a common criminal? 134 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:14,660 Listen to me, Rico! Take money from the family account and buy the DA! 135 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:19,500 Buy the judge! People owe me favours. I want these favours returned! 136 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:25,980 We tried. There are no takers. People are turning their backs on you. 137 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:32,980 That is a very impolite and highly dangerous thing to do. 138 00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:41,820 This is what I want you to do. 139 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:44,980 Keep searching and keep thinking. 140 00:13:44,980 --> 00:13:51,340 Because somewhere... somewhere out there lies the answer to my problems. 141 00:13:57,340 --> 00:14:04,980 Look at that! You couldn't go near that unless you had all your own teeth! You'll get us nicked! 142 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:09,980 Look! They say smoking's BAD for your chest! 143 00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:17,500 TOUR GUIDE: Biscayne Bay is the centre of the Coast Guard service. Miami is nicknamed "Cocaineville". 144 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:22,180 Officers fight a year-round battle with drug runners. 145 00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:28,980 On your left is the home of Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees. Look! 146 00:14:28,980 --> 00:14:33,980 It's a real-life Bee Gee! No, it ain't. It's probably the gardener. 147 00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:38,980 It's him! It's Barry Gibb! ALL RIGHT, BAZZA! 148 00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:43,500 HEY! Shut up. It's not him. 149 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:46,020 It is! HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE? 150 00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:49,980 # How deep is your love... # 151 00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:52,980 I need all this(!) 152 00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:03,180 MUSIC: "Baby, Baby" by Amy Grant 153 00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:07,980 # Baby, baby, I'm taken with the notion 154 00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:13,020 # To love you with the sweetest of devotion... # 155 00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:19,980 Come on, Rodney. Bellies in. 156 00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:25,980 I still think we should drive to the campsite now and book in first. 157 00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:29,980 It's only 7.45. There's plenty of time to book in. 158 00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:36,980 And there's plenty of time for you to get drunk after we book in. Get drunk? 159 00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:43,660 You enjoy putting me down, don't you? You think I'm a one-dimensional person. 160 00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:48,980 You're wrong. I'm only going into that club to call Raquel. 161 00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:55,820 I promised I'd phone when we arrived. What's wrong with the public call box? 162 00:15:57,980 --> 00:16:01,980 You can't get a drink in there. Come on. 163 00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:04,980 What about our luggage? 164 00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:10,020 Why don't we put it in the middle of the dance-floor and boogie round it, 165 00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:15,980 like girls and their handbags when there's a disco at the Nag's Head? 166 00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:18,980 There's no need to be sarky. 167 00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:22,980 What do you mean, boogie? I will not boogie! 168 00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:27,980 Keep your voice down! We're ambassadors for our country. 169 00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:31,980 We don't want them to think we're lager louts. 170 00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:35,980 LOUD POP MUSIC 171 00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:42,980 # Stop for a minute, Baby, I'm so glad you're mine, 172 00:16:45,340 --> 00:16:51,500 # And ever since the day You put my heart in motion... # 173 00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:57,980 Hey, Juan! Over here. When you're ready, son. 174 00:16:57,980 --> 00:17:03,020 Excuse me, gentlemen. This club is for members only. You what? 175 00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:07,980 I-I'm sorry, senor. I did not realise it was you. 176 00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:12,980 Please accept my deepest and sincerest apologies. 177 00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:17,980 You... I am honoured you should choose to visit my humble nightclub. 178 00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:25,980 May I offer you a drink? We'll have a Cuba Libre and something non-alcoholic. Of course. 179 00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:30,980 We'll be sitting over there. I will be with you immediately. 180 00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:42,340 What was all that about? 181 00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:44,980 Gawd knows. 182 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:47,820 Friendly sort of bloke, weren't he? 183 00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:49,500 Yeah... 184 00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:56,820 There's gonna be a war. Maybe not. 185 00:17:56,820 --> 00:18:02,340 The only way to prevent it is for you to find an alibi for my father. 186 00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:08,180 I don't have to find an alibi. I have to find NINE alibis, in a week. 187 00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:13,980 Don't the Justice Dept know who he is? Yeah. That's the problem. 188 00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:20,980 The moment the jury foreman says "guilty", the war begins. Maybe not. 189 00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:26,820 Don't say "maybe not"! The families won't pretend he's still in power! 190 00:18:26,820 --> 00:18:31,980 They'll go to war. Right, Pauly? Right. Right, Tony? Right. 191 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,980 Right, Lurch? Maybe not. You see? 192 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:42,500 There's gonna be a war! Senor Ricardo... I'm in a meeting! 193 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:47,980 I am sorry to interrupt. But if I had known HE was coming tonight, 194 00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:54,980 I would have arranged a private room. If WHO was coming tonight? Your father. 195 00:18:56,020 --> 00:19:04,980 My father. Is this a joke? Don Occhetti can't get to the john without the police tailing him. 196 00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:07,980 He's here. See for yourself. 197 00:19:18,980 --> 00:19:22,980 Lovely-jubbly. How much do we owe you? 198 00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:26,980 Please! It's on the house. You're my guest. 199 00:19:26,980 --> 00:19:31,980 Come on... Yo, Gino. It's Tony. Is the Don there? 200 00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:34,980 He's in the pool. 201 00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:39,980 Can you actually see him? 202 00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:41,020 Good. 203 00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:45,340 Dad's at home. The guy over there ain't him. 204 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:53,980 Listen. Tell my father to stay in his room till I get back tonight. 205 00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:58,340 Just... Tell him I may have a surprise. 206 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:10,980 Hi! How are you guys doing? 207 00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:16,980 All right... Great time. Smashing, thank you. 208 00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:22,980 Let me guess - you're not local people. No. We're here on holiday. 209 00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:25,980 Vacation. Oh, vacation! 210 00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:28,980 I thought as much. Well... 211 00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:34,980 Welcome to America. Thanks, son. We don't get many Australians here. 212 00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:40,020 We are not Australian. We are British. 213 00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:43,980 British! We love the British! 214 00:20:44,980 --> 00:20:52,980 Are you...living locally? We've got one of them camper things. We just whack our bags in the back. 215 00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:58,980 It's a good way to see the country. You can't whack it, can ya? 216 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:06,980 No. Like you say, you can't whack it. So, can I get you guys a drink? 217 00:21:06,980 --> 00:21:08,980 Er... Well... 218 00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:11,820 (I don't this is wise.) 219 00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:16,980 The thing is, we've got to drive to the camper park before it closes. 220 00:21:16,980 --> 00:21:20,980 Come on. You must have time for one. 221 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:25,980 We could have one, Rodney. Yeah. Go on, then. 222 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:29,980 We'll have a drink. This is my brother, Rodney. 223 00:21:29,980 --> 00:21:34,500 My name's Del, short for Derek. Hi, Rodney. Del. 224 00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:41,980 I'm Rico. This is my cousin Salvatore and friend Pauly. Are you enjoying your stay? 225 00:21:41,980 --> 00:21:45,980 Yes. We're having a blinding time. Why not join us? 226 00:22:18,340 --> 00:22:21,020 We've got time for one more. 227 00:22:21,020 --> 00:22:26,500 No, really. We're pushing our luck as it is. He's right. 228 00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:34,980 One for the road! All right... No, Del. The campsite will be shut. We'll be locked out for the night. 229 00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:38,980 Whoa! I didn't realise it was so late. 230 00:22:38,980 --> 00:22:42,980 We've got to be going. Well, Rodney... 231 00:22:42,980 --> 00:22:45,020 ..Del Boy! 232 00:22:45,020 --> 00:22:46,980 Rico! 233 00:22:46,980 --> 00:22:50,980 Thanks. It's been great meeting you guys. 234 00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:55,980 Thanks a lot. We've enjoyed your company and everything. 235 00:22:55,980 --> 00:23:00,980 We'll see you later, then! THEY ALL SAY GOODBYE 236 00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:15,980 What a blinding night, eh, Rodders? Yeah. They were nice blokes. 237 00:23:15,980 --> 00:23:20,180 They were diamonds. They were 42-carat diamonds! 238 00:23:20,180 --> 00:23:25,980 We were drinking all night, and never put our hands in our pockets! 239 00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:37,980 Oi! What's the matter, Rodders? What's happened? It's all gone! 240 00:23:37,980 --> 00:23:45,980 They nicked everything. Suitcases, flight bags, duty-free - the lot! Oh, no... 241 00:23:45,980 --> 00:23:50,500 I don't believe it. I just do not believe it! 242 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:53,980 We was only in there half an hour! 243 00:23:53,980 --> 00:24:00,980 ..Well, four hours. What's gonna happen now? How are we gonna get home?! 244 00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:06,340 Don't panic. I took the passports and flight tickets in there with us. 245 00:24:06,340 --> 00:24:11,980 Rodney... Oh, Rodney, you're a saint, mate. Well done! 246 00:24:11,980 --> 00:24:17,980 Where's the money? I left it in the van. You plonker, Rodney! 247 00:24:17,980 --> 00:24:22,340 You told me to! Me? And to leave the luggage in the back! 248 00:24:22,340 --> 00:24:29,980 Why didn't you use your initiative? I didn't want to go in that club! All right! Calm down! 249 00:24:29,980 --> 00:24:33,820 Gawd... Stone me, I don't know. 250 00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:37,980 How much money have we got between us now? 251 00:24:37,980 --> 00:24:41,980 That's all I've got. Let's see... 252 00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:47,980 ..32 dollars, right? Now, what can we get for £32? 253 00:24:48,980 --> 00:24:50,980 Mugged! 254 00:24:50,980 --> 00:24:52,980 Hey! 255 00:24:52,980 --> 00:24:58,180 Let me guess - you decided to come back and have that one for the road. 256 00:24:58,180 --> 00:25:03,980 No... I wish we had, Rico. We're thinking of going to the police. 257 00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:07,980 What's the problem? We've been robbed. 258 00:25:07,980 --> 00:25:11,980 You're kidding. I wish we was, Pauly. 259 00:25:11,980 --> 00:25:17,980 They broke into the van and took everything. Oh, gee. That is too bad. 260 00:25:17,980 --> 00:25:20,980 God! I feel so embarrassed. 261 00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:27,980 You just arrive and this happens. What a welcome! It's just one of them things. 262 00:25:27,980 --> 00:25:31,980 What are you guys gonna do? We don't know. 263 00:25:31,980 --> 00:25:40,020 We've got no money, no clothes, no duty-free...nothing! We'll have to get the police to sort it out. 264 00:25:40,020 --> 00:25:45,340 They'll do diddly-squat. They don't know their ass from first base. 265 00:25:45,340 --> 00:25:47,020 But... 266 00:25:47,020 --> 00:25:50,980 ..Salvatore here is a lawyer. 267 00:25:50,980 --> 00:25:55,980 He could talk to his friends in the DA's office. First thing tomorrow. 268 00:25:55,980 --> 00:26:03,980 Could you do that, Salvatore? That would be very nice of you. Wouldn't it, Rodders? Yeah! 269 00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:09,980 In the meantime, you two guys are coming home with me! 270 00:26:30,980 --> 00:26:34,980 Is this your place, Rico? It's my family's. 271 00:26:36,980 --> 00:26:38,980 Very nice! 272 00:26:48,980 --> 00:26:53,980 What business are you in, Rico? We're in, er, insurance and imports. 273 00:26:53,980 --> 00:26:57,980 Oh, imports and exports? No, just imports. 274 00:26:57,980 --> 00:27:00,820 Well, this is it. 275 00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:04,980 Welcome. Thank you. 276 00:27:12,980 --> 00:27:15,820 PHONE BUZZES 277 00:27:15,820 --> 00:27:16,980 Yo. 278 00:27:16,980 --> 00:27:20,340 Rico, I want you up here fast. 279 00:27:20,340 --> 00:27:23,980 I'll be right up. 280 00:27:25,980 --> 00:27:34,980 I'll show you to your guest suite. ..Guest suite? We've fallen on our feet here, bruv. 281 00:27:37,980 --> 00:27:43,980 Did you see him? Of course, I did! What are doing with Australians?! 282 00:27:43,980 --> 00:27:48,980 They're not Australian. They're two English guys over here on vacation. 283 00:27:48,980 --> 00:27:54,980 You brought limeys here?! I hate limeys! We met them at the club. 284 00:27:54,980 --> 00:28:01,980 What are you doing picking up guys in bars? What IS it with you two?! 285 00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:05,980 You got too much air in your Nikes, or what(?) 286 00:28:05,980 --> 00:28:10,020 Listen, Pop. These bozos could answer your prayers. 287 00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:14,980 One of them is dead ringer for you. At the club they thought he was YOU. 288 00:28:14,980 --> 00:28:18,980 Look, I saw the man on the security monitor. 289 00:28:18,980 --> 00:28:22,340 I saw no similarity whatsoever. 290 00:28:22,340 --> 00:28:25,980 He's much taller than me. He's thinner. 291 00:28:25,980 --> 00:28:28,980 No, the other one. 292 00:28:28,980 --> 00:28:32,980 You mean, the little dude with the polecat face?! 293 00:28:32,980 --> 00:28:34,340 Yeah. 294 00:28:36,660 --> 00:28:39,980 Ah...I see, Salvatore. 295 00:28:41,980 --> 00:28:43,820 Salvatore... 296 00:28:43,820 --> 00:28:48,980 ..this is your lucky day, 'cos I'm in a good mood. 297 00:28:48,980 --> 00:28:50,980 I'm only gonna break ONE of yer legs! 298 00:28:52,980 --> 00:28:58,980 And 'cos you're a member of the family, I'm gonna do it SLOWLY! 299 00:28:58,980 --> 00:29:04,980 Come on, Pop! It was dark. You couldn't see clearly. Tell him, Sal. 300 00:29:04,980 --> 00:29:07,980 This guy looks just like you. 301 00:29:07,980 --> 00:29:15,180 Last year, I saw a camel that was just like your mother, but I didn't invite it home as a guest! 302 00:29:16,980 --> 00:29:23,980 So, there's a guy who looks like me. What's the big deal? I'll tell you what the big deal is. 303 00:29:26,180 --> 00:29:33,980 Imagine this guy dressed up in your clothes. In my clothes?! Are you outa your mind, or what? 304 00:29:33,980 --> 00:29:39,020 We dress the limey up in your clothes and we take him out to eat. 305 00:29:39,020 --> 00:29:45,980 While he's having lunch in full public view, somebody blows him away. 306 00:29:45,980 --> 00:29:50,980 I'm against it. It'll look like the other families have had you killed. 307 00:29:50,980 --> 00:29:52,980 Even the police will witness it. 308 00:29:52,980 --> 00:29:57,980 Don't you see what this means, Pop? What? 309 00:29:57,980 --> 00:29:59,980 Tell him, Sal. 310 00:30:01,980 --> 00:30:06,980 In the eyes of America, there will be no more Don Occhetti. 311 00:30:06,980 --> 00:30:10,980 That equals no more trial, and no more prison sentence. 312 00:30:10,980 --> 00:30:17,980 You sneak off to Rio for a couple of years - until the plastic surgery heals. 313 00:30:17,980 --> 00:30:22,660 And you come back as Uncle...er... Carlo. From New Jersey. 314 00:30:22,660 --> 00:30:25,020 And take over the family business. 315 00:30:26,980 --> 00:30:28,820 Rico... 316 00:30:30,980 --> 00:30:35,980 Sometimes during my life I have doubted that you are my child. 317 00:30:35,980 --> 00:30:43,500 Sometimes I thought the hospital had screwed up and given us the baby of a family from Pittsburgh. 318 00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:47,660 Now I take it back. You are definitely my son. 319 00:30:48,340 --> 00:30:50,980 It's brilliant, it's wonderful! 320 00:30:50,980 --> 00:30:57,980 And there'll be one less limey in the world. TWO. His brother gets a one-way ticket, too. 321 00:30:57,980 --> 00:31:01,980 Have you seen the bog? It's solid marble! 322 00:31:01,980 --> 00:31:06,980 None of that stick-on gear you get down the DIY. It's the real McCoy! 323 00:31:08,180 --> 00:31:11,820 Cor! Someone up there loves us. 324 00:31:12,820 --> 00:31:16,980 Ssh! I'm up to Channel 49. How many are there? 325 00:31:16,980 --> 00:31:22,980 I dunno. It's what I'm researching. You should've been a scientist. 326 00:31:24,980 --> 00:31:27,980 Cor, look at this. Can't be bad, eh? 327 00:31:27,980 --> 00:31:30,980 Here, look at this, eh? 328 00:31:30,980 --> 00:31:36,980 Don't let these limeys call home. No-one must know this address. 329 00:31:36,980 --> 00:31:40,980 We're cutting the lines, except our business line. 330 00:31:40,980 --> 00:31:45,980 Everyone in England will think these two have vanished. 331 00:31:45,980 --> 00:31:49,980 They can blame it on the Bermuda Triangle, huh?! 332 00:31:49,980 --> 00:31:54,980 Or the Twilight Zone. Or the Twilight Zone! 333 00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:00,340 Whoo! We've struck gold here, bruv! 334 00:32:00,340 --> 00:32:07,500 We'll have to show Rico our gratitude, get him a present. Yeah, yeah, we'll do that. 335 00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:11,980 Hey, we've got no money. I'll nip him for some. 336 00:32:11,980 --> 00:32:14,500 Cor blimey, we'd better phone HQ! 337 00:32:14,500 --> 00:32:16,980 Raquel'll be going spare. 338 00:32:19,660 --> 00:32:22,980 Oh, the line's dead. Well, do that. 339 00:32:24,980 --> 00:32:30,980 Why? 'Cos that's what they do in American films. Oh, yes! 340 00:32:33,980 --> 00:32:36,980 It's still dead. KNOCK AT DOOR 341 00:32:36,980 --> 00:32:41,980 Here you go, Derek. These are my...uncle's clothes. 342 00:32:41,980 --> 00:32:44,980 They're about the same size as you. 343 00:32:44,980 --> 00:32:46,980 Yes, well, thanks. Very nice. 344 00:32:46,980 --> 00:32:51,820 Oh, Rico. Sorry, but Rodney's got nothing to wear. 345 00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:56,980 No problem. We've got a guy who works here. He's about your build. 346 00:32:56,980 --> 00:32:58,180 Lurch! 347 00:32:58,180 --> 00:33:00,980 Lurch?! Saucy berk. 348 00:33:00,980 --> 00:33:03,980 Tell Gino to bring up some clothes. 349 00:33:03,980 --> 00:33:05,980 Piece of cake. 350 00:33:05,980 --> 00:33:08,980 Oh, and the old dog's knackered. 351 00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:11,980 ..What? The telephone's not working. 352 00:33:11,980 --> 00:33:17,980 Oh, the telephone! Er, we had a tropical storm. Whole area's out. 353 00:33:17,980 --> 00:33:20,980 Don't worry. It'll be back soon. 354 00:33:20,980 --> 00:33:25,020 Get some sleep. Tomorrow we'll go to my favourite restaurant. 355 00:33:25,020 --> 00:33:27,980 Lovely-jubbly! 356 00:33:27,980 --> 00:33:32,980 Yeah. Nice little Italian joint. The food is out of this world. 357 00:33:32,980 --> 00:33:36,180 This place will...kill you. 358 00:33:38,980 --> 00:33:39,980 Oh! 359 00:33:39,980 --> 00:33:44,980 Wear this suit. It'll make you look real business-like. 360 00:33:44,980 --> 00:33:46,660 Wow! 361 00:33:46,660 --> 00:33:48,820 Oh, yes! 362 00:33:48,820 --> 00:33:50,980 This is very ME, Rico. 363 00:33:50,980 --> 00:33:53,980 Well, nighty-night. 364 00:33:53,980 --> 00:33:56,980 Nighty-night. Night. 365 00:33:57,980 --> 00:34:02,980 What a nice bloke! They broke the mould when they made him. 366 00:34:02,980 --> 00:34:04,340 Yeah... 367 00:34:04,340 --> 00:34:09,980 Look, Del...don't think I'm getting paranoid or nothing, but... 368 00:34:09,980 --> 00:34:15,980 ..did you notice them really tough blokes down by the gate? Yeah. 369 00:34:15,980 --> 00:34:20,980 And that one downstairs an' all? Yeah... So what? 370 00:34:20,980 --> 00:34:25,340 Well, it's most probably ridiculous, but... 371 00:34:25,340 --> 00:34:29,980 ..do you think Rico might be... What? 372 00:34:29,980 --> 00:34:31,980 An 'oofter. 373 00:34:31,980 --> 00:34:36,980 An 'oofter?! What HIM?! No! Geroff! He's Italian, ain't 'e. 374 00:34:36,980 --> 00:34:41,660 You can't have an Italian 'oofter. It's a medical fact! 375 00:34:41,660 --> 00:34:46,980 But they're all blokes! I know that. It's because he's a man's man. 376 00:34:48,980 --> 00:34:52,980 You know what else he is? He's a little gold nugget. 377 00:34:52,980 --> 00:34:55,980 Yeah, that's what he is, Rodney. 378 00:34:57,980 --> 00:35:00,180 A little gold nugget. 379 00:35:05,980 --> 00:35:10,820 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy... 380 00:35:10,820 --> 00:35:13,980 Reverend? ..Amen. 381 00:35:13,980 --> 00:35:18,980 Raquel, I'm glad I've met you. I was just going to phone Derek. 382 00:35:18,980 --> 00:35:21,980 Del? But Del's in Miami. Miami? 383 00:35:21,980 --> 00:35:27,980 Oh, dear. Reverend, why are you blessing a Romanian lorry? 384 00:35:27,980 --> 00:35:30,980 I'm blessing the CONTENTS. 385 00:35:30,980 --> 00:35:35,980 Didn't Derek mention it? No... Hang on, is this to do with Derek? 386 00:35:35,980 --> 00:35:40,980 Well, yes. He did a time-and-motion study of the blessing of the wine. 387 00:35:40,980 --> 00:35:46,820 He thought of doing it en masse, and I distribute it to the other churches. 388 00:35:46,820 --> 00:35:48,980 Oh, hell! 389 00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:54,980 Sorry. It's been a real money-saver, with Del selling it to us so cheap. 390 00:35:54,980 --> 00:35:59,820 There's just one major problem. It happens to be Romanian Riesling. 391 00:35:59,820 --> 00:36:01,980 Romanian Riesling?! 392 00:36:01,980 --> 00:36:06,980 WHITE wine. Communion wine is meant to be red. It represents the... 393 00:36:06,980 --> 00:36:11,980 Blood of Christ. Exactly. The other churches are returning their cases. 394 00:36:11,980 --> 00:36:17,980 I don't want to alarm you, but you may get a call from the Archbishop. 395 00:36:17,980 --> 00:36:20,980 Oh, God. That's what I keep saying. 396 00:36:24,980 --> 00:36:27,980 Here they come. Is it Occhetti? 397 00:36:27,980 --> 00:36:30,980 No, the son and one of the gorillas. 398 00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:32,980 Wait a minute... 399 00:36:46,980 --> 00:36:51,340 What do you reckon, Rico? Fits like a dream. 400 00:36:53,980 --> 00:36:58,500 Perfect, Del. Just...perfect. Look at that bloke with a camera. 401 00:36:59,980 --> 00:37:04,980 ALL RIGHT, PAL?! Who's that, then, Rico? 402 00:37:04,980 --> 00:37:07,980 ..Who knows? Tourists, maybe. 403 00:37:07,980 --> 00:37:11,980 I'm starved. Let's eat. Yeah, lovely-jubbly! 404 00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:15,180 HE MOUTHS WORDS 405 00:37:17,180 --> 00:37:25,980 29-30. We're on South Bay, Fairisle. Occhetti and the boys have stopped for lunch at Carlotti's restaurant. 406 00:37:25,980 --> 00:37:28,980 RADIO: '1325. Miami QS out.' 407 00:37:35,980 --> 00:37:37,980 Don Occhetti. 408 00:37:40,980 --> 00:37:43,980 Donoketti to you, too. Donoketti. 409 00:37:43,980 --> 00:37:48,020 I am happy you have honoured me with your presence. 410 00:37:48,020 --> 00:37:50,980 My family and I thank you deeply. 411 00:37:50,980 --> 00:37:54,980 Er, it's all right. Puskus, puskus. 412 00:37:54,980 --> 00:37:59,980 I will prepare your table. Would you like to have a drink at the bar? 413 00:37:59,980 --> 00:38:04,500 Yes, thank you, senor. I've got a diabolical thirst. 414 00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:06,980 ..Excuse me. 415 00:38:20,980 --> 00:38:25,980 Is everything to your satisfaction? Yes, lovely. Blinding dumplings. 416 00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:28,980 Signore... 417 00:38:30,980 --> 00:38:33,980 Yeah, that's a lovely-looking cork. 418 00:38:33,980 --> 00:38:36,020 You're meant to test the bouquet. 419 00:38:40,980 --> 00:38:43,980 Oh, thank you. 420 00:38:49,980 --> 00:38:52,980 Oh, yes! Lovely-jubbly. 421 00:38:52,980 --> 00:38:55,980 Pour on, Macduff! Grazie, signore. 422 00:39:11,980 --> 00:39:15,980 Excuse me, Del. Gotta go to the john. 423 00:39:15,980 --> 00:39:18,980 Oh, right. Do one for me, son, will ya?! 424 00:39:18,980 --> 00:39:22,980 I've got to check the plumbing, too. 425 00:39:22,980 --> 00:39:24,980 I've got to go, too. 426 00:39:25,980 --> 00:39:28,180 And me. 427 00:39:29,980 --> 00:39:34,980 I hope it ain't catching! Must be those onchilados they had! 428 00:39:34,980 --> 00:39:37,980 Cheers, bruv! 429 00:39:37,980 --> 00:39:39,980 Cheers, Del. 430 00:39:45,980 --> 00:39:48,500 Any time now. 431 00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:59,660 How are you doing? Fine, thank you, fine. 432 00:40:06,660 --> 00:40:10,980 We're just talking. Oh. Sorry to interrupt. 433 00:40:10,980 --> 00:40:13,180 You're not. 434 00:40:13,180 --> 00:40:16,980 Hurry up! Just DO it! 435 00:40:23,980 --> 00:40:28,020 Don't pick it up with yer spoon. Use a fork! 436 00:40:28,020 --> 00:40:31,980 Don't be stupid. It'd roll off a fork. 437 00:40:31,980 --> 00:40:34,980 Now, as I was saying... 438 00:40:34,980 --> 00:40:39,980 ..wherever I go in the world, people take to me. 439 00:40:46,980 --> 00:40:53,980 Take this holiday. OK, the first night, we was robbed and lost everything. 440 00:40:53,980 --> 00:40:56,980 But then I met Rico, and he took to me. 441 00:41:00,980 --> 00:41:03,660 I don't know why people like me. 442 00:41:03,660 --> 00:41:06,980 It's got ME bewildered an' all. 443 00:41:09,980 --> 00:41:14,980 Look at that. I was saving this dumpling till last! 444 00:41:14,980 --> 00:41:16,980 Blimey. 445 00:41:17,980 --> 00:41:21,660 What's up? It hardly touched the ground! 446 00:41:21,660 --> 00:41:25,980 The floor's clean. Honestly, you and your hygiene. 447 00:41:25,980 --> 00:41:28,980 Del boy. 448 00:41:28,980 --> 00:41:31,980 What? Somebody just shot you. 449 00:41:31,980 --> 00:41:36,980 Don't worry, I'm feeling much better now(!) Del, look! 450 00:41:36,980 --> 00:41:41,660 What...? Gordon Bennett! GLASS SMASHES, WOMAN SCREAMS 451 00:41:41,660 --> 00:41:43,980 Made it. 452 00:41:43,980 --> 00:41:46,980 Gee, I hope that wasn't my dessert! 453 00:41:46,980 --> 00:41:50,660 How can you joke at a time like this? 454 00:41:50,660 --> 00:41:53,980 His father has just been shot. 455 00:41:54,980 --> 00:41:56,980 Shut up, Lurch. 456 00:41:56,980 --> 00:42:01,980 Oh, my God. Somebody call an ambulance. Is he dead? 457 00:42:01,980 --> 00:42:04,980 No, but it was bloody close, Rico! 458 00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:08,980 A bullet, right, come out of nowhere and it... 459 00:42:08,980 --> 00:42:12,980 If he knew how to use a fork, he'd be a goner. 460 00:42:12,980 --> 00:42:16,980 Absolutely! There I was, just eating me dumplings. 461 00:42:16,980 --> 00:42:21,980 Then suddenly, whack! A bullet hits the back of me chair! 462 00:42:21,980 --> 00:42:27,980 I mean, you don't need it, Rico! No...you certainly do NOT. 463 00:42:38,980 --> 00:42:43,340 Here you go, chaps. Ah, well done. Looks fine, Rodders. 464 00:42:43,340 --> 00:42:50,500 The bloke behind the bar offers his respect, and his loyalty is beyond question. 465 00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:52,980 That's nice. Have I met him? No. 466 00:42:52,980 --> 00:42:58,980 Everywhere I go, people offer me their respect and kiss me hand. 467 00:42:59,980 --> 00:43:04,340 Derek, have you ever had a go on one of those? 468 00:43:06,180 --> 00:43:09,980 Have I, Rodney? 'Course you ain't. 469 00:43:09,980 --> 00:43:13,980 No, I ain't. Like to try? I know the owner. 470 00:43:14,980 --> 00:43:17,980 What, ME on one of those things?! 471 00:43:17,980 --> 00:43:24,980 No way, Pedro! Come on, Del. First time for every... No way, PEDRO? 472 00:43:24,980 --> 00:43:27,980 You won't catch me on one of them. 473 00:43:27,980 --> 00:43:32,980 And I always thought you Brits were a sea-faring race. 474 00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:43,980 We ARE. We're the world's greatest sailors, pal. 475 00:43:43,980 --> 00:43:48,660 We gave you Nelson, Drake, Columbus. 476 00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:50,980 SNIGGERING 477 00:43:51,980 --> 00:43:55,980 All right! Let's have a go. 478 00:43:59,980 --> 00:44:03,980 Are you sure about this? He who dares, Rodney. 479 00:44:03,980 --> 00:44:08,980 We don't want them thinking us Brits are chicken. Certainly not! 480 00:44:14,980 --> 00:44:20,980 Don't be shy. This is the start button. This is the throttle. OK? 481 00:44:20,980 --> 00:44:25,980 Remember, the faster you go, the easier it is to stay on. Right! 482 00:44:25,980 --> 00:44:29,020 Yeah, cushty! ..Oh, God... 483 00:44:37,980 --> 00:44:40,340 Look at that baby go! 484 00:44:40,340 --> 00:44:42,980 Lovely-jubbly-jubbly! 485 00:44:42,980 --> 00:44:46,820 That's about far enough now! 486 00:44:46,820 --> 00:44:49,980 What did he say? Nothing, Rodney. 487 00:44:49,980 --> 00:44:50,980 Rico! 488 00:44:51,980 --> 00:44:54,980 The steering wheel's stuck! 489 00:44:54,980 --> 00:44:57,980 The steering wheel is STUCK!! 490 00:45:01,980 --> 00:45:06,980 Now the throttle's stuck! Rico! Rico! The throttle! 491 00:45:06,980 --> 00:45:13,980 Going a long way out, ain't he? He's enjoying himself. I know. I'm just saying... 492 00:45:15,980 --> 00:45:21,020 Where are the brakes on this bloody thing?! Argh! Gordon Bennett! 493 00:45:21,020 --> 00:45:25,180 What a guy, eh? He certainly surprised ME. 494 00:45:25,180 --> 00:45:27,980 Why's that? He can't swim. 495 00:45:27,980 --> 00:45:31,020 HELP!! HELP!! 496 00:45:34,020 --> 00:45:39,980 PILOT: 'We're about 25 miles off the coast of Florida.' 497 00:45:39,980 --> 00:45:44,660 Almost in Miami. Hope it's better than Washington. 498 00:45:44,660 --> 00:45:50,180 I LIKED Washington. Yeah, not much of a beach, though, was there? 499 00:45:50,180 --> 00:45:56,980 All down the East Coast, you have done nothing but moan. 500 00:45:57,980 --> 00:45:59,980 That's funny. 501 00:45:59,980 --> 00:46:01,020 What? 502 00:46:01,020 --> 00:46:03,980 There's a bloke on a ski jet thing. 503 00:46:03,980 --> 00:46:09,180 So? We're 25 miles off the coast! Well, he must know what he's doing. 504 00:46:24,980 --> 00:46:28,980 RICO TALKING FAINTLY 505 00:46:32,980 --> 00:46:40,980 The meeting...with my father... can go ahead as planned. 506 00:46:40,980 --> 00:46:42,980 Planned... Si. 507 00:46:43,980 --> 00:46:48,820 Gracias. I look forward to meeting you. Lovely-jubbly. 508 00:46:51,980 --> 00:46:54,980 Lovely-jubbly?! 509 00:46:59,980 --> 00:47:02,980 Hi. How are you doing? 510 00:47:02,980 --> 00:47:04,980 Fine. 511 00:47:04,980 --> 00:47:07,980 I thought that might be news of Del. 512 00:47:08,980 --> 00:47:12,980 No. I'll let you know if I hear anything. 513 00:47:16,980 --> 00:47:23,980 Are you worried? No. It's just that he left the beach at 11am, and it's now 8.30pm. 514 00:47:23,980 --> 00:47:30,820 Del's a real fun guy. Can you have fun on a jet-ski for nine-and-a-half hours?! 515 00:47:30,820 --> 00:47:31,980 DEL can. 516 00:47:31,980 --> 00:47:35,980 I see your phones are working again. No. 517 00:47:35,980 --> 00:47:39,980 I saw you... It's a private line. Purely for business. 518 00:47:40,980 --> 00:47:45,980 I see. So, how come that's working, when all the others are out? 519 00:47:45,980 --> 00:47:48,980 Search me. 520 00:47:48,980 --> 00:47:54,980 Can I use that phone for a minute? No. I'm expecting an important call. 521 00:47:54,980 --> 00:48:00,980 I just wanted to let people know where we were. They'll be worried. 522 00:48:00,980 --> 00:48:04,980 They don't have to worry. You're with us. 523 00:48:04,980 --> 00:48:08,980 Yeah...I suppose you're right. 524 00:48:08,980 --> 00:48:15,980 Well, I'll be in my room. If you hear anything... You'll be the first to know. 525 00:48:15,980 --> 00:48:17,020 Night! 526 00:48:27,660 --> 00:48:30,340 Lurch is bringing the car round. 527 00:48:30,340 --> 00:48:33,980 The tall one's starting to ask questions. 528 00:48:33,980 --> 00:48:39,980 Tomorrow, we take him for a drive and put him out of his misery(!) 529 00:48:39,980 --> 00:48:42,980 One down, one to go! 530 00:48:42,980 --> 00:48:45,180 DOORBELL CHIMES 531 00:48:45,180 --> 00:48:48,340 THUNDER RUMBLES 532 00:48:52,340 --> 00:48:57,340 Good evening, sir. Officer, is there any news of my father? 533 00:48:57,340 --> 00:49:00,820 Yes. I'm afraid it's bad news. 534 00:49:00,820 --> 00:49:04,020 Oh, God... Oh, God, no! 535 00:49:04,020 --> 00:49:08,980 We fished him out three hours ago. He's dead? 536 00:49:08,980 --> 00:49:12,980 No. He's alive and well. What? 537 00:49:12,980 --> 00:49:14,980 That's what I mean by bad news. 538 00:49:22,980 --> 00:49:25,980 Am I glad to be back, Rico! 539 00:49:25,980 --> 00:49:28,820 It was horrible out there. 540 00:49:28,820 --> 00:49:35,980 I don't know what would have happened if the police helicopter hadn't found me! 541 00:49:35,980 --> 00:49:41,500 Why don't you go in the kitchen and get something to eat? Thanks. 542 00:49:43,660 --> 00:49:46,980 I could murder a Pina Colada! 543 00:49:46,980 --> 00:49:50,980 Something happened to his voice. He sounds Australian. 544 00:49:50,980 --> 00:49:53,980 It might be salt on the vocal cords. 545 00:49:53,980 --> 00:49:59,980 Rest assured, Officer. I've got something for his throat. Goodnight. 546 00:50:04,340 --> 00:50:09,980 You limey turkey! What have I gotta do to get rid of you?! 547 00:50:11,820 --> 00:50:15,980 There you go, Alan. Cheers. 548 00:50:15,980 --> 00:50:19,980 NINE O'CLOCK NEWS THEME MUSIC 549 00:50:21,980 --> 00:50:25,980 Raquel, you're worrying about nothing. 550 00:50:25,980 --> 00:50:33,180 Nothing? We haven't heard from them in five days. There's probably a simple explanation. 551 00:50:33,180 --> 00:50:37,660 Maybe Dave's gone to Brazil to look at the forest. 552 00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:40,980 There. You couldn't get more simple than that. 553 00:50:40,980 --> 00:50:48,980 It's a funny business with Del. They'll turn up. I just hope the police catch who did it. 554 00:50:48,980 --> 00:50:51,980 I must be off. Cheers, mate. 555 00:50:51,980 --> 00:50:54,340 Stay lucky. 556 00:50:54,340 --> 00:50:59,980 Have you heard from Cassandra? Yes. She's worried, too. 557 00:50:59,980 --> 00:51:06,980 There's nothing to worry about. My brother went to Portugal on holiday. No-one heard from him for 3 months. 558 00:51:06,980 --> 00:51:12,980 His wife was phoning Interpol. But he turned up safe and sound. 559 00:51:12,980 --> 00:51:17,500 Where was he? Shacked up with some German tart. 560 00:51:17,500 --> 00:51:19,660 Shut up. 561 00:51:20,980 --> 00:51:27,980 Raquel, sometimes Del can be a bit forgetful, especially if he's enjoying himself. 562 00:51:27,980 --> 00:51:33,980 He's probably having the time of his life... I'm not saying the right thing. No. 563 00:51:33,980 --> 00:51:36,980 'Ere, Raquel! 564 00:51:36,980 --> 00:51:38,500 Look! 565 00:51:38,500 --> 00:51:44,980 TV: 'The Miami District Attorney has named this man Public Enemy Number One. 566 00:51:44,980 --> 00:51:52,980 'His web of vice covers the Western hemisphere. He's considered the most dangerous criminal since Al Capone.' 567 00:51:52,980 --> 00:51:56,980 There they are! There's Del and Dave! 568 00:51:56,980 --> 00:51:59,980 Public Enemy Number One? 569 00:51:59,980 --> 00:52:02,980 But he only left Tuesday! 570 00:52:05,980 --> 00:52:11,980 What's happened? I got a call from the airport. The Colombians landed. 571 00:52:11,980 --> 00:52:16,980 They'll be here any minute. I want everyone down here to greet them. 572 00:52:16,980 --> 00:52:23,980 We need a show of strength - let 'em know we're not the Boy Scouts. OK. 573 00:52:23,980 --> 00:52:28,980 Where are the limeys? I've taken care of them. They're busy. 574 00:52:37,980 --> 00:52:44,340 Whack it back to me! I'm trying to whack it back. I'm not good at tennis. 575 00:52:44,340 --> 00:52:45,980 Really(?) 576 00:52:45,980 --> 00:52:50,020 I've had enough of this. I'm going in. 577 00:52:51,020 --> 00:52:54,980 Oh! Just 'cos you're losing! 578 00:53:01,980 --> 00:53:04,980 You here, Rico? 579 00:53:04,980 --> 00:53:06,660 Lurch? 580 00:53:07,980 --> 00:53:10,980 Tony? Is anybody about? 581 00:53:21,980 --> 00:53:24,980 BELCH! 582 00:53:41,980 --> 00:53:46,980 ģ Mrs Trotter, telephone for you. 583 00:53:46,980 --> 00:53:48,980 Excuse me. 584 00:53:51,980 --> 00:53:55,500 Cass? It's Rodney. What's happened? 585 00:53:55,500 --> 00:54:01,340 'Are you all right?' Steady on... Listen... We're both fine. Right? 586 00:54:01,340 --> 00:54:04,980 Come on, you jerks! Answer the phone! 587 00:54:04,980 --> 00:54:09,660 PHONE BUZZES 588 00:54:11,980 --> 00:54:15,980 POSH VOICE: Hello? Battersea Dogs' Home. 589 00:54:15,980 --> 00:54:18,980 Woof! Woof! Rowr! 590 00:54:25,340 --> 00:54:30,980 I've been so worried about you. Have you? Yes. 591 00:54:30,980 --> 00:54:36,820 I didn't take the interview. They let me off. So you could have come? 592 00:54:36,820 --> 00:54:43,500 With a fortune-teller's help. I didn't know you'd go missing. I suppose not. 593 00:54:47,340 --> 00:54:49,660 Rodney? 594 00:54:49,660 --> 00:54:52,340 Where are you? 595 00:54:52,340 --> 00:54:56,180 You're not in our roo-oom! 596 00:54:56,180 --> 00:55:00,980 I wish you had come. The people are so nice. 597 00:55:00,980 --> 00:55:06,980 If you hadn't booked that week, I would have. Del booked the tickets. 598 00:55:06,980 --> 00:55:11,020 Del? No. He knew I was in Eastbourne that week. 599 00:55:11,020 --> 00:55:15,020 I suppose he thought... He knew? 600 00:55:15,020 --> 00:55:21,020 I told him when the seminar was. Why did he book that particular week? 601 00:55:21,020 --> 00:55:26,980 Isn't it obvious? So he could get a free bloody holiday! 602 00:55:31,980 --> 00:55:33,980 (Rodney!) 603 00:55:37,340 --> 00:55:42,980 Come on! Come out, come out, wherever you are! 604 00:55:47,980 --> 00:55:49,980 Rodney? 605 00:55:52,980 --> 00:55:55,980 Are you there, Roddy-Woddy? 606 00:56:04,980 --> 00:56:07,980 Oh, yes. This is very nice. 607 00:56:07,980 --> 00:56:10,980 This is a bit of ME, this is! 608 00:56:10,980 --> 00:56:14,980 'Cos I am a Byzantine sort of bloke! 609 00:56:20,980 --> 00:56:24,980 Where are you hiding, you little scallywag? 610 00:56:38,980 --> 00:56:41,340 You GIT! 611 00:56:41,340 --> 00:56:45,020 You rotten, conniving GIT! 612 00:56:45,020 --> 00:56:49,980 You are the most selfish bastard I've ever known! 613 00:56:49,980 --> 00:56:57,820 Do you know who I just spoke to? Cassandra! That's shaken you! DON OCCHETTI GRUNTS HOARSELY 614 00:56:57,820 --> 00:57:05,980 You knew she couldn't make this trip! You KNEW she had a seminar in Eastbourne and you didn't tell me! 615 00:57:05,980 --> 00:57:11,980 No! You kept that well quiet so YOU could come on this bloody holiday! 616 00:57:11,980 --> 00:57:19,980 Where'd you get that stupid tracksuit? Er... Don't talk to me! I don't want to hear your excuses! 617 00:57:19,980 --> 00:57:21,340 Right?! 618 00:57:23,180 --> 00:57:25,500 GIT! 619 00:57:30,980 --> 00:57:36,980 You ain't sleeping in here tonight! Find somewhere else! What's up with you, soppy? 620 00:57:36,980 --> 00:57:43,980 You know what's up! You knew Cassandra couldn't come away with me because SHE told you! 621 00:57:43,980 --> 00:57:46,980 Ah! Now you come to mention it... 622 00:57:46,980 --> 00:57:50,980 ..she did say something. You planned it! 623 00:57:50,980 --> 00:57:56,660 You went to the travel agent and booked it so YOU could come away! 624 00:57:56,660 --> 00:57:59,980 Listen, just calm down! Please, Rodney! 625 00:57:59,980 --> 00:58:03,980 I'll...er... I'll try and explain everything. 626 00:58:03,980 --> 00:58:06,980 You see, the thing is... 627 00:58:08,980 --> 00:58:13,980 That wine deal of mine has gone right up the pictures. 628 00:58:13,980 --> 00:58:20,980 I had a call from Bucharest. The first load they delivered was white wine! 629 00:58:20,980 --> 00:58:23,500 I just didn't know what to do. 630 00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:25,980 You know me, 631 00:58:25,980 --> 00:58:32,980 there's only two things in the world that worry me, and that's doctors and gods. 632 00:58:34,980 --> 00:58:37,980 I was frightened of being cursed. 633 00:58:37,980 --> 00:58:43,500 So I thought if I came over here like to Miami, he wouldn't find me. 634 00:58:43,500 --> 00:58:48,980 That's the only reason I did it. I just wanted to lay low for a spell. 635 00:58:48,980 --> 00:58:51,020 Yeah! On my pension money! 636 00:58:51,020 --> 00:58:56,980 You are the most horrible, dirty little... How did you get in 'ere? 637 00:58:56,980 --> 00:58:59,980 How did you get changed so quickly? 638 00:58:59,980 --> 00:59:03,980 I haven't got changed. I've been in this all morning. 639 00:59:03,980 --> 00:59:08,980 I don't understand this. I was talking to you outside. 640 00:59:08,980 --> 00:59:13,980 You couldn't have done because I was in the carzey en suite. 641 00:59:13,980 --> 00:59:19,980 I've just been rowing with you! You had on a pink and green tracksuit! 642 00:59:19,980 --> 00:59:22,980 A pink and green track...! 643 00:59:28,980 --> 00:59:30,980 Rodney. 644 00:59:30,980 --> 00:59:33,980 Have you...er...taken anything? 645 00:59:33,980 --> 00:59:37,980 The only thing I've taken is cobblers from you! 646 00:59:37,980 --> 00:59:40,980 I was talking to YOU or... 647 00:59:41,980 --> 00:59:43,980 Or what? 648 00:59:45,980 --> 00:59:48,980 Or someone who looks like you. 649 00:59:48,980 --> 00:59:53,820 Someone who looks like me? Like a double? 650 00:59:53,820 --> 00:59:54,980 Yeah. 651 00:59:54,980 --> 00:59:56,980 Oh, dear. 652 00:59:56,980 --> 00:59:59,980 HE TUT-TUTS 653 00:59:59,980 --> 01:00:01,980 I see. 654 01:00:03,980 --> 01:00:07,020 You know what this means, don't ya? What? 655 01:00:07,020 --> 01:00:11,980 That you're a bigger plonker than I thought you were! 656 01:00:11,980 --> 01:00:17,980 All right! Go and have a look for yourself! I will, you little dipstick! 657 01:00:17,980 --> 01:00:22,820 I don't know what the world is coming to. 658 01:00:22,820 --> 01:00:25,980 I'm a prisoner in my own home. 659 01:00:25,980 --> 01:00:30,980 And all because of those godamned sorry-assed limeys! 660 01:00:30,980 --> 01:00:32,980 Boo! 661 01:00:34,980 --> 01:00:36,980 'Ere. 662 01:00:40,660 --> 01:00:44,980 Look, dippy. That's what it was, look. Your reflection! 663 01:00:44,980 --> 01:00:47,980 How can I have a row with a bloody reflection? 664 01:00:47,980 --> 01:00:52,980 We'll check it out then. I'll go down there and keep a look-out. 665 01:00:52,980 --> 01:00:55,980 Oh! Cushty! 666 01:00:56,980 --> 01:01:00,980 Do it yourself, Del. Go on, then. 667 01:01:05,980 --> 01:01:09,980 I hate limeys! I hate limeys! 668 01:01:14,980 --> 01:01:17,980 That's a bit of Chippendale, innit? 669 01:01:17,980 --> 01:01:20,980 SMASH 670 01:01:20,980 --> 01:01:24,980 I hate limeys! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them! 671 01:01:36,660 --> 01:01:38,980 RATTLE AND CRASH OF BOTTLES 672 01:01:46,980 --> 01:01:48,980 Dammit! 673 01:02:57,980 --> 01:03:04,980 I'm so pleased that you could make it, Senor Vasquez. I've looked forward to meeting you. 674 01:03:06,980 --> 01:03:08,980 (Someone's coming!) 675 01:03:29,980 --> 01:03:34,980 They're trying to kill me! Fromage frais! 676 01:03:34,980 --> 01:03:38,980 VOICES APPROACHING 677 01:03:38,980 --> 01:03:41,980 How was your flight? 678 01:03:47,980 --> 01:03:53,980 Father, the Colombians have arrived. Senor Vasquez and Senor Herrera. Oh. 679 01:03:53,980 --> 01:03:57,980 I'll be in the other room if you need me. 680 01:03:57,980 --> 01:03:59,820 Gentlemen. 681 01:03:59,820 --> 01:04:03,980 Don Occhetti, I am honoured to meet you, sir. 682 01:04:06,980 --> 01:04:11,180 Em...excuse me, my Engleesh is no good. 683 01:04:13,660 --> 01:04:15,980 Er...Bonetti. 684 01:04:15,980 --> 01:04:17,980 Bonetti. 685 01:04:17,980 --> 01:04:20,660 Bonetti. Bonetti. 686 01:04:26,980 --> 01:04:29,980 We bring the final ...formation..er... 687 01:04:29,980 --> 01:04:31,980 IN-formation! 688 01:04:31,980 --> 01:04:35,980 IN-formation concerning our business transaction. 689 01:04:37,980 --> 01:04:40,980 (Business transaction?) Cushty! 690 01:04:42,980 --> 01:04:46,980 You will read, please. All right. 691 01:04:52,980 --> 01:04:55,980 What is...this exactly? 692 01:04:55,980 --> 01:04:59,980 - It is the firmation... - CON-firmation! 693 01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:01,980 Confirmation. Confirmation... 694 01:05:01,980 --> 01:05:06,980 ..regarding delivery of merchandise. Oh...smashing. 695 01:05:06,980 --> 01:05:10,980 Smashing. What sort of merchandise is it, then? 696 01:05:12,180 --> 01:05:17,980 Senor, it is the finest, the purest, the very best... 697 01:05:17,980 --> 01:05:19,980 ..cocaine. 698 01:05:19,980 --> 01:05:22,820 Oh, it's coc..c...c...c... 699 01:05:22,820 --> 01:05:25,980 ..Co...cocaine. 700 01:05:25,980 --> 01:05:27,980 17 tonnes. 701 01:05:30,980 --> 01:05:36,980 It is on a yacht anchored offshore. We await your instructions. 702 01:05:38,980 --> 01:05:45,980 Don Occhetti, where...delivery of merchandise in the boat...you know? 703 01:05:45,980 --> 01:05:47,820 Where? 704 01:05:47,820 --> 01:05:49,980 In the boat...delivery...yeah. 705 01:05:49,980 --> 01:05:55,980 I tell you what, why don't you deliver it tonight, midnight, 706 01:05:55,980 --> 01:05:58,020 in... Do you know Biscayne Bay? 707 01:05:58,020 --> 01:06:01,980 Deliver the merchandise to Biscayne Bay. 708 01:06:01,980 --> 01:06:04,980 Biscayne Bay. 709 01:06:04,980 --> 01:06:07,340 Biscane... Cayne. 710 01:06:07,340 --> 01:06:08,980 Cayne. 711 01:06:08,980 --> 01:06:11,980 Biscayne... 712 01:06:11,980 --> 01:06:14,980 Bay. 713 01:06:14,980 --> 01:06:16,980 Baiy. Baiy. Bay. 714 01:06:16,980 --> 01:06:18,980 Biscayne Bay. 715 01:06:18,980 --> 01:06:23,980 Er...is it safe? Safe? Don't worry. 716 01:06:23,980 --> 01:06:28,980 The cocaine will be safe there, all right. Someone will meet us there? 717 01:06:28,980 --> 01:06:33,980 I'm sure. Don't worry, they'll be someone there to meet you all right. 718 01:06:33,980 --> 01:06:35,980 Good. Good. 719 01:06:35,980 --> 01:06:40,980 FAINT VOICES OUTSIDE: Business with you is very good. 720 01:06:40,980 --> 01:06:44,980 GUSH OF WATER 721 01:06:46,020 --> 01:06:49,500 Room...who, who? 722 01:06:49,500 --> 01:06:52,180 Whom. Whom room? 723 01:06:52,180 --> 01:06:55,980 Whom in the room? That's a good question. 724 01:06:55,980 --> 01:06:58,980 Whom is in there? 725 01:06:58,980 --> 01:07:03,980 That is the...bathroom. And that's my girlfriend in there. 726 01:07:03,980 --> 01:07:08,340 Que dice este hombre? Don Occhetti's senorita. 727 01:07:08,340 --> 01:07:11,980 Oh, yes, yes! Senorita! 728 01:07:11,980 --> 01:07:13,980 BELCH! 729 01:07:17,980 --> 01:07:25,980 The senorita had a double helping of chilli con carne last night. I told her not to. 730 01:07:25,980 --> 01:07:28,980 But you know what they're like! 731 01:07:28,980 --> 01:07:33,660 Look at the time. I think that will conclude our business. 732 01:07:33,660 --> 01:07:37,980 Good. All right, then. Well, thank you. Thanks. 733 01:07:37,980 --> 01:07:43,660 Adios. Adjeeos. We will be picking soon. Picking soon? Yeah, OK. 734 01:07:43,660 --> 01:07:45,340 Bonetti! 735 01:07:46,980 --> 01:07:50,180 Bonetti. Bonetti. 736 01:07:55,500 --> 01:08:00,820 Didn't you hear me knocking? Rico brought two blokes up to that room. 737 01:08:04,980 --> 01:08:09,980 Rodney, we are in deep, deep shtuck! 738 01:08:09,980 --> 01:08:12,980 This is Mafia country! 739 01:08:12,980 --> 01:08:15,980 Mafia! Yeah! Sssh! Sssh! 740 01:08:15,980 --> 01:08:17,980 Come here. 741 01:08:17,980 --> 01:08:19,980 Sit down there. 742 01:08:19,980 --> 01:08:21,980 Listen. 743 01:08:21,980 --> 01:08:26,980 Rico, Salvatore, and all them other guys, they're all mafioso! 744 01:08:26,980 --> 01:08:31,660 You thought you saw a bloke what looked like me? 745 01:08:31,660 --> 01:08:38,980 Well, there is one! He's got a room down there. His name is Don Occhetti, and he is the boss! 746 01:08:38,980 --> 01:08:43,980 I'm telling you, Rodney. This is Marlon Brando time! 747 01:08:43,980 --> 01:08:45,980 Nah. Yes! 748 01:08:45,980 --> 01:08:50,980 I've just read a newspaper down there. It's all about him. 749 01:08:50,980 --> 01:08:57,980 He's up for trial, and he's well in the frame. He's going to go down the kermit and end up in the nick! 750 01:08:57,980 --> 01:09:05,980 What for? What for?! Drug-running, kidnapping and three, you count 'em, THREE murders! 751 01:09:05,980 --> 01:09:11,020 That's what all this has been about, Rodney. Don't you understand? 752 01:09:11,020 --> 01:09:14,980 They've been trying to kill me. 753 01:09:14,980 --> 01:09:18,980 You're letting your imagination run away with ya. 754 01:09:18,980 --> 01:09:20,980 I wish I was. 755 01:09:20,980 --> 01:09:23,980 Take a look at that, pal! 756 01:09:23,980 --> 01:09:28,980 I've just been having a tete-a-tete with two Colombian drug barons! 757 01:09:31,980 --> 01:09:36,980 Bloody hell, Del. He's a Mafia boss. What do you think I've been saying! 758 01:09:38,980 --> 01:09:40,980 Oh, cosmic! 759 01:09:40,980 --> 01:09:42,980 Cos...bloody...mic! 760 01:09:42,980 --> 01:09:48,980 I've just roughed him up. What? I have just roughed up a Mafia boss! 761 01:09:48,980 --> 01:09:53,500 I just called a Mafia boss... 762 01:09:53,500 --> 01:09:55,980 Pull yourself together! ..a git! 763 01:09:55,980 --> 01:10:01,020 These aren't the sort of people you want to spend your holidays with. 764 01:10:01,020 --> 01:10:04,980 Rico can forget the present we was buying! 765 01:10:04,980 --> 01:10:09,980 Let's get out of here. How can we? They're all downstairs! 766 01:10:09,980 --> 01:10:14,980 Let's get out before I wake up with a bloody horse's head on me pillow! 767 01:10:17,980 --> 01:10:19,980 Go on. 768 01:10:25,180 --> 01:10:27,980 Go on. Go on. 769 01:10:38,980 --> 01:10:41,980 Look at this! 770 01:11:07,980 --> 01:11:10,980 Careful. Something sharp's up there. 771 01:11:21,980 --> 01:11:24,980 MATERIAL RIPS 772 01:11:24,980 --> 01:11:27,980 How the hell did this happen? 773 01:11:27,980 --> 01:11:34,980 I don't know. Last time I saw it, it was fine. Leave it. Lurch can do it. OK. 774 01:11:34,980 --> 01:11:38,820 The Colombians seemed happy. Yeah. 775 01:11:38,820 --> 01:11:43,980 Maybe they won't be so happy after we've had our meeting. Show them up. 776 01:11:43,980 --> 01:11:51,180 Show them up? They just left! Why would they come all this way and then leave without talking to me?! 777 01:11:51,180 --> 01:11:56,980 But you had your meeting. I brought them... How did you change so quick? 778 01:11:56,980 --> 01:11:59,980 I've been in this all morning. 779 01:11:59,980 --> 01:12:01,980 Oh, God! 780 01:12:01,980 --> 01:12:03,980 The limey. 781 01:12:10,980 --> 01:12:13,980 I'm in court tomorrow morning. 782 01:12:13,980 --> 01:12:15,980 Rico! 783 01:12:20,340 --> 01:12:25,340 Do something, you stupid jerk! Don't worry. I'll get them back. 784 01:12:42,980 --> 01:12:45,980 Are you enjoying the ride, boys? 785 01:12:45,980 --> 01:12:49,980 Oh, yes! Lovely, Miss Daisy. 786 01:12:49,980 --> 01:12:56,980 I don't believe it! It's meant to be a getaway. At this rate, we'll be done for kerb-crawling. 787 01:13:04,660 --> 01:13:07,980 Well, this is about as far as I go. 788 01:13:07,980 --> 01:13:11,340 Thanks for the lift. Yeah, thank you. 789 01:13:11,340 --> 01:13:18,180 Have a nice trip back to Australia. We're not Australian! We're English. Come on, she's old! 790 01:13:18,180 --> 01:13:21,980 BRAKES SCREECH 791 01:13:22,980 --> 01:13:25,980 Over there. Come on. 792 01:13:41,980 --> 01:13:44,980 Are you sure it was them? 793 01:13:44,980 --> 01:13:49,980 Who else is in the Everglades dressed like Jimmy Connors? 794 01:14:05,980 --> 01:14:08,980 Come on! Where's your stamina? 795 01:14:11,980 --> 01:14:13,980 Bloody hell! 796 01:14:15,980 --> 01:14:18,660 Help me out of here, Rodney! 797 01:14:18,660 --> 01:14:21,180 Come here. I can't! Come on. 798 01:14:21,180 --> 01:14:23,980 Careful. 799 01:14:24,980 --> 01:14:29,980 Oh, Gordon Bennett! What the hell is that stuff, anyway? 800 01:14:29,980 --> 01:14:32,980 We must be in the Everglades! 801 01:14:32,980 --> 01:14:36,980 Everglades? Looks more like a swamp to me! 802 01:14:36,980 --> 01:14:39,980 It is... 803 01:14:40,980 --> 01:14:42,980 Not now. 804 01:14:45,980 --> 01:14:53,180 Oh, Rodney, get me home. Back to England's green and pleasant land, and those dark, volcanic mills. 805 01:14:53,180 --> 01:14:55,500 Yeah. 806 01:14:55,500 --> 01:14:58,980 Look, Del, let's just have a rest, eh? 807 01:14:58,980 --> 01:15:02,980 We're safe enough. Nobody could find us in here. 808 01:15:07,980 --> 01:15:13,980 Look! Me hands are bleeding, me clothes are torn. Me arse is soaking wet. 809 01:15:13,980 --> 01:15:19,980 And you're whining. It's OK for you. If I get piles, you can have half! 810 01:15:25,980 --> 01:15:28,980 BIRD CHIRRUPS 811 01:15:44,980 --> 01:15:49,980 Del boy. Shut up, Rodney! You're getting on my nerves. 812 01:15:51,980 --> 01:15:54,980 I want you to do something, Derek. 813 01:15:55,980 --> 01:16:01,660 I want you to stand up... and very slowly walk away. 814 01:16:04,980 --> 01:16:10,340 What is this? "Simple Simon Says"?! Very slowly...walk away, Del. 815 01:16:10,340 --> 01:16:12,980 We don't want to alarm it. 816 01:16:15,980 --> 01:16:19,980 Alarm what? That thing behind us. 817 01:16:23,980 --> 01:16:26,980 You mean...th...that thing? 818 01:16:30,340 --> 01:16:31,980 Get out! 819 01:16:31,980 --> 01:16:35,980 That was a bloody crocodile, Rodney! 820 01:16:35,980 --> 01:16:41,980 It weren't a crocodile. I know a crocodile when I see one! I've seen Tarzan films! 821 01:16:45,340 --> 01:16:47,980 Oh! Oh! 822 01:16:47,980 --> 01:16:51,500 It was an alligator. Same thing, innit? 823 01:16:51,500 --> 01:16:56,980 No,it's not. They may look alike and they're from the same family... 824 01:16:56,980 --> 01:17:03,340 Do they eat ya? Yeah. Same thing then, innit? Who the hell let it out? 825 01:17:03,340 --> 01:17:06,980 No! They live here, in the Everglades. 826 01:17:08,500 --> 01:17:12,980 "They"? You mean to say there's more than one of them? 827 01:17:12,980 --> 01:17:19,980 Yeah. But don't panic. It's rare to see them during the day. They're normally nocturnal. 828 01:17:19,980 --> 01:17:26,660 Nocturnal? Are you saying that at tea-time there'll be millions of the gits? 829 01:17:26,660 --> 01:17:28,980 Yeah. 830 01:17:31,980 --> 01:17:34,980 I just don't believe it! 831 01:17:34,980 --> 01:17:41,980 To be honest, Rodney, I'm beginning to wish that I hadn't come on this holiday with you! 832 01:17:41,980 --> 01:17:47,820 Don't you blame me. I didn't invite you, Derek! You invited yourself! 833 01:17:47,820 --> 01:17:52,340 MECHANICAL WHIRR Listen! Listen to that! 834 01:17:55,980 --> 01:17:58,500 It's a boat! 835 01:17:58,500 --> 01:18:00,660 We're saved! 836 01:18:00,660 --> 01:18:02,980 Get down, Rodney! Get down! 837 01:18:02,980 --> 01:18:08,820 It could be the Mafia. What are they doing on a boat? Water skiing! 838 01:18:12,980 --> 01:18:15,820 Look, Marlene! An eagle! 839 01:18:15,820 --> 01:18:18,660 It's not an eagle. It's a heron! 840 01:18:18,660 --> 01:18:21,980 Right. Let's take some photographs. 841 01:18:32,180 --> 01:18:36,980 Marlene...just for a moment there, I thought I saw... 842 01:18:36,980 --> 01:18:41,980 Gordon Bennett! It's Del and Rodney! 843 01:18:41,980 --> 01:18:44,980 Ooh-hoo, Del! 844 01:18:44,980 --> 01:18:47,980 Boycie! Get over here! Quick! 845 01:18:47,980 --> 01:18:52,980 What are you doin' here? I didn't kiss you goodbye at Gatwick! 846 01:18:52,980 --> 01:18:55,980 Get that boat over here, quick! 847 01:18:55,980 --> 01:18:59,340 Wayne, get over there! MOTOR STARTS 848 01:19:06,980 --> 01:19:10,980 All right, Del? Terrific, sweetheart. 849 01:19:12,980 --> 01:19:18,980 Come on, Rodders. Good God! You smell like a vegetarian's fart! 850 01:19:18,980 --> 01:19:25,980 At least my house hasn't been burgled! What?! A joke! A joke! Let's go! Wayne, let's go. 851 01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:39,980 Rico, as your lawyer, I ask you to consider your actions before you do anything. 852 01:19:39,980 --> 01:19:41,980 OK, I'll consider it. 853 01:19:41,980 --> 01:19:45,020 Everyone, duck! Why? GUNSHOT 854 01:19:45,020 --> 01:19:47,980 That's why. Move, Wayne! 855 01:19:55,980 --> 01:20:00,980 Curtis, some jerk's out there loosing off! Come on. Let's go. 856 01:20:03,500 --> 01:20:08,660 Everything was going well. We were having a nice holiday. Stop moaning. 857 01:20:08,660 --> 01:20:14,980 Then they turn up and we get shot! You've done nothing but moan since Washington. 858 01:20:14,980 --> 01:20:18,980 Get that bloody boat in, for Gawd's sake! 859 01:20:30,980 --> 01:20:33,020 Rodney, hang about a minute. 860 01:20:44,980 --> 01:20:47,980 Rodney, let's go home! 861 01:20:47,980 --> 01:20:51,980 Our plane doesn't leave till tomorrow night. 862 01:20:51,980 --> 01:20:56,980 I know, but we could sleep at the airport. We'd be closer to England. 863 01:20:57,980 --> 01:21:01,980 Give us a lift to the airport, Boycie. 864 01:21:01,980 --> 01:21:08,820 NEWS REPORT: Coastguards boarded a Colombian boat and discovered 17 tonnes of cocaine. 865 01:21:08,820 --> 01:21:12,980 Also on board was the wanted drug baron, Alberto Vasquez. 866 01:21:12,980 --> 01:21:15,980 He's being held by FBI agents. 867 01:21:15,980 --> 01:21:20,980 Details of the delivery were left in a Florida park ranger's office. 868 01:21:20,980 --> 01:21:28,980 And in Miami Superior Court, Don Vincenzo Occhetti, head of the most powerful Mafia family in America, 869 01:21:28,980 --> 01:21:31,820 was found guilty of kidnapping, 870 01:21:31,820 --> 01:21:38,980 drug-running and three counts of conspiring to commit murder. He was given six life sentences. 871 01:21:38,980 --> 01:21:45,980 His son, Ricardo, was arrested for illegal hunting in the Everglades with an unlicensed firearm. 872 01:21:45,980 --> 01:21:50,500 Police are now looking for two Australians who... 873 01:21:50,500 --> 01:21:54,980 MUSIC: Theme from "The Godfather" 874 01:22:18,980 --> 01:22:21,980 Welcome home, boys! 875 01:23:53,980 --> 01:23:59,980 Subtitles by London Subtitling Unit 84602

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