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1
00:00:05,567 --> 00:00:06,867
Did you want leg wax...?
2
00:00:06,967 --> 00:00:08,933
- Wax strips.
- Yes.
3
00:00:09,033 --> 00:00:10,133
It's different.
4
00:00:10,867 --> 00:00:13,833
You know, most people stopped
ordering their groceries online
5
00:00:13,933 --> 00:00:15,633
once the pandemic kind of
petered out.
6
00:00:15,733 --> 00:00:16,633
Not me, sis.
7
00:00:16,733 --> 00:00:18,733
Online groceries and Zoom
funerals
8
00:00:18,833 --> 00:00:21,033
are the two great legacies
of the spicy cough.
9
00:00:21,133 --> 00:00:23,033
- These ones?
- Yeah, they're great.
10
00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:24,000
Yep. Righto.
11
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:26,833
Why are you such a good boy?
12
00:00:26,933 --> 00:00:29,267
Think I might jazz up
those old pizzas for dinner.
13
00:00:29,367 --> 00:00:31,400
- Are you joking?
- No.
14
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,833
I have told you so many times,
15
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:36,133
we're having dinner with
Meggles and her new girlfriend
tonight.
16
00:00:36,233 --> 00:00:38,233
Fuck, that's right.
Jesus, that was fast.
17
00:00:38,333 --> 00:00:40,333
I know, and I've stalked her on
Insta.
18
00:00:40,433 --> 00:00:41,367
Not good.
19
00:00:41,467 --> 00:00:42,333
Can I get out of it?
20
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:43,567
Nup, you can't.
21
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:46,600
All right, not getting
any cuter than that.
22
00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:48,467
Um... ooh, do you want to
walk me to the station?
23
00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:49,800
I'm early. We could get a
coffee.
24
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:50,933
I'm...
25
00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:53,333
I've got that lunch
with that corporate guy today
26
00:00:53,433 --> 00:00:55,833
and I think I might just have
a lay in, if that's all right.
27
00:00:56,667 --> 00:00:57,633
Oh. Okay.
28
00:00:57,733 --> 00:00:59,533
Don't be sad,
we're having dinner together.
29
00:00:59,633 --> 00:01:00,933
And we live together.
30
00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:03,000
Okay, well, keep yourself nice
at lunch, please.
31
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,333
I will.
- Yeah? Promise.
32
00:01:04,433 --> 00:01:05,533
- I promise.
Okay.
33
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:07,900
Stay fresh, cheese bags.
34
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000
You too.
35
00:01:16,433 --> 00:01:19,067
Ooh yeah.
36
00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:29,700
Oh yeah.
37
00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:36,333
Ooh yeah. Ooh! Ooh!
38
00:01:36,433 --> 00:01:39,133
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
39
00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:45,700
- Hey!
- Hey!
40
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,267
What's up? What's going on?
41
00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:48,367
You forget something?
- Yeah.
42
00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:49,600
Yeah, yeah, my cap.
43
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:50,700
- I forgot my cap.
Oh.
44
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:51,700
There it is.
45
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,267
There it is. So, cool, got it
now.
46
00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:55,333
Cool, cool.
47
00:01:55,433 --> 00:01:57,033
- Got it.
Um...
48
00:01:57,133 --> 00:01:57,967
Were you masturbating?
49
00:01:58,067 --> 00:01:59,033
Hey?
50
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:00,533
Were you... were you having a
wank?
51
00:02:00,633 --> 00:02:01,933
No!
52
00:02:02,033 --> 00:02:03,700
No, I... no, I... sorry, no.
53
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,067
I was just taking my pants off
to get in the shower.
54
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,733
Was just about to jump up and
do that. -[Ashley] Ah, yeah.
55
00:02:08,833 --> 00:02:11,967
Yeah. 'Cause porn came through
my Air Pods downstairs.
56
00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:14,200
Did they? That's weird.
That's so strange.
57
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,433
I'd look into that 'cause
that's maybe a Bluetooth thing.
58
00:02:16,533 --> 00:02:19,800
I do have some neighbours,
actually, who, sometimes we get
crossed.
59
00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:23,400
And they've got some pretty
weird, um... I don't know,
whatever they get up to.
60
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:24,967
No judgement, but, um...
61
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:26,500
no judgement, but, um...
62
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,767
- Yeah.
Yeah.
63
00:02:27,867 --> 00:02:28,667
Yeah.
64
00:02:28,767 --> 00:02:30,800
So weird.
- Yep.
65
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,000
Yeah...
66
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,200
- Yep.
Ah.
67
00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:37,700
Sorry, I was. I was.
68
00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:40,467
I was. Is that bad?
69
00:02:41,367 --> 00:02:42,433
Nope.
70
00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:44,733
Nah, I'm... I'm pretty cool
with that kind of thing.
71
00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:46,600
Oh. Oh, cool.
72
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:47,733
Yeah, yeah.
73
00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:49,800
Just, um... in front of the
dog, though.
74
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:51,933
I mean, yeah. He's a little bit
close.
75
00:02:52,033 --> 00:02:53,300
But I mean, he's not...
76
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,333
I mean, to be clear,
he was not a part of it.
77
00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:57,433
I forgot he was there, if
anything.
78
00:02:57,533 --> 00:02:59,633
Now I think of it, though,
we did have sex last night.
79
00:02:59,733 --> 00:03:00,867
Yeah, we did, and it was great.
80
00:03:00,967 --> 00:03:02,067
- Was it?
- I thought so.
81
00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:03,333
Yeah.
82
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:06,067
No, no, no, it's cool.
It's just that, yeah.
83
00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:07,300
James never did this,
84
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,167
so I'm like, yeah,
it's a bit new for me.
85
00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:11,833
Excuse me, yes, he did.
86
00:03:11,933 --> 00:03:12,933
No, he told me that
87
00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:14,933
he never watched porn or
masturbated.
88
00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:16,733
Oh, well, ah, he lied.
89
00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:18,533
He lied to you. James is a
liar.
90
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,500
Cool. Yeah, all right.
91
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,300
Just so you know, there was an
on-ramp.
92
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,500
Like, the... the, um...
93
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,700
the wax strips box
that I was buying for you
94
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,300
had some very leggy, sexy legs
on it, and it just...
95
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,900
It got in there, you know, and
that's...
96
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,100
And so there was an on-ramp.
97
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,933
This didn't just come out of
nowhere.
98
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,633
Oh yeah, like I said, fine.
99
00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:40,067
You sure you're fine?
You don't seem fine.
100
00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:43,533
Hey, the box. The legs. It's
chill.
101
00:03:45,867 --> 00:03:46,967
Catch ya.
102
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:50,867
She's not fine.
103
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,900
And you are a bit close.
104
00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:18,833
I don't-- I feel rejected,
Meggles,
105
00:04:18,933 --> 00:04:21,000
on, like, every level.
106
00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:22,133
You know, they say
107
00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:24,567
the first three months
of every relationship
108
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:25,900
is unpacking your last one.
109
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,633
So, for you, that's...
110
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:30,833
that's you working out the ways
that James fucked you up.
111
00:04:30,933 --> 00:04:31,733
Yeah.
112
00:04:31,833 --> 00:04:33,900
And I guess Gordon's, like,
113
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,267
letting go of being by himself.
114
00:04:36,367 --> 00:04:38,567
These relationship podcasts
are really good, babe.
115
00:04:38,667 --> 00:04:39,667
I know, right?
116
00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:40,967
- Hey, James.
117
00:04:41,467 --> 00:04:42,467
Hey, girls.
118
00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:47,667
- What?
- Nothing.
119
00:04:49,533 --> 00:04:50,467
What's going on there?
120
00:04:51,267 --> 00:04:53,367
Uh, it's my girlfriend, Rumi
Cashmere.
121
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:54,733
Okay, just want you to know.
122
00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:56,333
- Not her real name.
It is.
123
00:04:56,433 --> 00:04:57,433
It is.
124
00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:00,133
Okay...
125
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,867
You have a girlfriend? Holy
shit.
126
00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:04,767
Yeah, she broke up with Chiara
like, oh, shit,
127
00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,233
three minutes ago.
128
00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:08,200
- Why are you being a bitch?
- I'm not. I'm not.
129
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,500
You are.
130
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,633
So,
131
00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:12,600
can you not just be excited
that I've met someone
132
00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:13,767
who I actually really like?
133
00:05:13,867 --> 00:05:16,600
Okay, I'm just saying that
that hat is a beige flag.
134
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:17,633
Ash!
135
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:18,667
Okay. Okay.
136
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,867
I'm getting a coke.
137
00:05:20,967 --> 00:05:22,233
Fuck you.
138
00:05:22,833 --> 00:05:24,100
Fuck you.
139
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:25,133
Love you.
140
00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:26,667
Love you.
141
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:34,667
What? What's up?
142
00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:39,033
You told me that you didn't
jerk off.
143
00:05:40,133 --> 00:05:41,233
Okay...
144
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:44,233
So, was that a lie?
Like, I'm just wondering.
145
00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:46,367
You know, when you stop
going out with someone,
146
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:49,167
the general rule is, you stop
acting crazy with them.
147
00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:51,833
No, that's...
that's not the rule, actually.
148
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:54,933
Room 12.
149
00:05:55,033 --> 00:05:56,600
Mr Robson's waiting for a
catheter.
150
00:05:57,167 --> 00:05:58,133
Right.
151
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,467
Chop-chop.
152
00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:01,567
I'm coming.
153
00:06:09,167 --> 00:06:10,500
I said I never watched porn.
154
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,933
I never said I didn't...
masturbate.
155
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:15,833
So, what do you... do you watch
then?
156
00:06:15,933 --> 00:06:17,100
Um, nothing.
157
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,400
Just use my brain.
158
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,167
Things I saw. People I used to
be with.
159
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,867
That is
cool. That's pretty cool then.
160
00:06:26,967 --> 00:06:28,267
Mm.
- Yeah?
161
00:06:38,867 --> 00:06:39,933
So we do.
162
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,900
We go up Sunday morning
to do boogie boarding out here
163
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,033
and it just goes off.
164
00:06:43,133 --> 00:06:44,367
You and me?
- Absolute-- yeah, no, yeah.
165
00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:46,100
Another glass of the Chablis
for either of you?
166
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:47,333
- Yeah.
- No.
167
00:06:47,433 --> 00:06:49,133
We'll, ah... we'll get
a bottle, love. Ta.
168
00:06:49,233 --> 00:06:50,067
Of course.
169
00:06:50,167 --> 00:06:51,133
- There we go.
- Cheers, mate.
170
00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:52,500
These bugs will change your
life, mate.
171
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:53,833
- Get stuck in.
Sure...
172
00:06:53,933 --> 00:06:55,567
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
173
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:56,767
Mate.
174
00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:57,867
Thanks for making the time, man.
175
00:06:57,967 --> 00:06:59,733
Oh, mate, it's...
it's my pleasure, Jared.
176
00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:03,333
It's nice to finally put a face
to the incessant phone calls
and emails.
177
00:07:03,433 --> 00:07:04,233
Yeah.
178
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:06,067
Look, I am enthusiastic about
my job.
179
00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:07,000
- Guilty of that, yeah.
Yeah.
180
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:08,833
Which is what, exactly?
181
00:07:08,933 --> 00:07:10,000
Oh.
182
00:07:10,967 --> 00:07:13,133
-"Chief Growth Officer."
Yeah.
183
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,600
Not what the missus would say, mate.
184
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:18,267
- Ha.
185
00:07:19,533 --> 00:07:21,533
Yeah, nah, I started in
finance, did that whole thing,
186
00:07:21,633 --> 00:07:22,967
bit of time at
Cadbury-Schweppes,
187
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,067
ah, the integrity unit at the
NRL,
188
00:07:25,167 --> 00:07:26,367
bit of time at Channel 9,
189
00:07:26,467 --> 00:07:27,733
few Logies after parties, mate,
190
00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:30,900
and now we're at Lion
Australia, which is fantastic.
191
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,000
- Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.
192
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:34,367
Hey, Jared, it's so nice
to be wined and dined
193
00:07:34,467 --> 00:07:36,133
on the company card,
obviously. -All right, yeah.
194
00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:38,333
But what did...?
Did you have a proposal, or...?
195
00:07:38,433 --> 00:07:39,867
Not into the foreplay, big
fella?
196
00:07:39,967 --> 00:07:41,467
- Well...
- Okay, good on ya, mate.
197
00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:43,533
Look, we just wanted
to get in front of you, man,
198
00:07:43,633 --> 00:07:46,033
and say what a fan we are of
what you're doing and your
beer.
199
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,267
- Ah.
- We think you're special.
200
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,767
We think you're an outlier in
the field,
201
00:07:48,867 --> 00:07:50,667
and, ah, mate, we want to do
business with you.
202
00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:52,667
- Really?
Yeah.
203
00:07:52,767 --> 00:07:54,500
So what we do, man--
I'll give you the speel.
204
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:55,600
Yep.
205
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,700
We deliver strong branding
communication campaigns
206
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,133
that deliver vertical
integration and portfolio
growth.
207
00:08:00,233 --> 00:08:01,433
- Right.
- So, say no more.
208
00:08:01,533 --> 00:08:02,833
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
209
00:08:02,933 --> 00:08:04,700
Well, say a bit more 'cause I
don't really know what that
means.
210
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,067
- Wait for this. You ready?
- Yep.
211
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,100
We want to buy your brewery.
212
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,767
Bang.
213
00:08:13,867 --> 00:08:15,033
Big bang, mate.
214
00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:16,367
- Yeah, right.
- There it is.
215
00:08:16,467 --> 00:08:17,533
There it is.
216
00:08:17,633 --> 00:08:19,667
Your life just changed.
217
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,567
- Mm.
- What are you driving?
218
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,133
- I drive--
- Not anymore.
219
00:08:24,233 --> 00:08:25,833
- Good on you, mate.
- Oh, okay.
220
00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:27,367
What a special moment for you.
221
00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:28,367
Yeah...
222
00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:30,100
- Oh yeah.
- Yep.
223
00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:32,033
Oh yeah!
224
00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:34,300
- Oh yeah, mate.
- Yes, yes.
225
00:08:35,733 --> 00:08:38,467
Let's get you a bit more
comfortable, hey, Mr Robson?
226
00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:39,433
Thank you.
227
00:08:39,533 --> 00:08:41,567
Got the best girls on the job.
228
00:08:41,667 --> 00:08:43,167
That's right.
229
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,200
- Hey, regarding tonight?
- Yep?
230
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:50,367
Just promise me you'll be nice,
Ash.
231
00:08:50,967 --> 00:08:51,833
Yeah.
232
00:08:52,467 --> 00:08:53,700
Can I get more than a "yeah"?
233
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,233
Yeah, I promise.
234
00:08:57,533 --> 00:08:59,200
It just really matters to me
that you like her.
235
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,400
Mm-hmm. Are you okay there, Mr
Robson?
236
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:02,433
Marvellous.
237
00:09:02,533 --> 00:09:03,633
Okay.
238
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,267
Just not sure...
239
00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:09,200
What?
240
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:10,800
I'm just... I'm just trying
to...
241
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:12,233
Um...
242
00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:14,667
What are you doing?
243
00:09:15,233 --> 00:09:17,433
Oh, hello. I'm inserting a
catheter.
244
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:20,800
No, but what are you doing
there?
245
00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:23,567
I'm, um, just pulling back
your husband's foreskin
246
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:24,867
to insert the catheter.
247
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,100
He's circumcised.
248
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,800
No! He's what?
249
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,233
My husband is
circumcised.
250
00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:33,633
Oh, yeah, I see that.
251
00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,133
Go away, Mary.
252
00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:41,333
You could have said something.
253
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,033
It's my birthday today.
254
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:46,767
Great. Happy birthday, mate.
255
00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:48,900
- Many happy returns, Mr Robson.
Thank you.
256
00:09:51,933 --> 00:09:53,333
Hey, let's talk
numbers, all right?
257
00:09:53,433 --> 00:09:54,400
Okay.
258
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:55,833
How many taps you on?
259
00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:57,400
- Let's see.
- I'll tell ya. Three.
260
00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:59,633
And you're in four
independent bottle shops
261
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,433
and you just lost the JetRex
deal.
262
00:10:01,533 --> 00:10:02,467
To us.
263
00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:03,700
Sounds like you've done
your research, Jared.
264
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,533
We just want to throw you
a lifeline, mate.
265
00:10:05,633 --> 00:10:06,967
We know it's your baby,
266
00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:08,967
but there's certain economic
realities, all right?
267
00:10:09,833 --> 00:10:11,000
That you created, Jared.
268
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:12,800
We do not want to squeeze you, man.
269
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:14,100
But you're gonna have no choice
soon.
270
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,933
You're a polar bear
on a bit of ice, bruv.
271
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,133
Yes, we are,
272
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:18,567
and you're fuckin' climate
change, can't you see that?
273
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:21,167
Oh, I appreciate that. Climate
change is real, man. Seriously.
274
00:10:21,267 --> 00:10:23,133
- Yes, it is.
- Yeah. Yeah.
275
00:10:23,233 --> 00:10:24,767
- Yes, it actually is.
- Totally.
276
00:10:26,267 --> 00:10:27,267
I can't tell whether you're
trying to
277
00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:29,067
kiss me or fuck me here,
Jared, to be honest.
278
00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:30,367
- Why not a bit of both?
- Sure.
279
00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:31,867
But can you see my problem?
280
00:10:31,967 --> 00:10:34,267
Like, there's two behemoths
buying up all the craft beer in
Australia,
281
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,333
all the money goes to Japan...
282
00:10:35,433 --> 00:10:36,300
Konnichiwa.
283
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,067
...and I can't get
my beer anywhere, mate,
284
00:10:38,167 --> 00:10:40,167
because you guys have
monopolised the entire thing.
285
00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:41,500
- Shit yeah. Shit yeah.
- Yeah.
286
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:42,667
Even the old pubs.
287
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,100
Especially the old pubs.
Yeah, we got them ages ago.
288
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,333
'Course you did.
289
00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:47,400
Look, mate.
290
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,300
- Maybe I wasn't clear. Sorry.
- Mm.
291
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,100
We don't want to change a
thing.
292
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,633
- Don't you?
- No. No.
293
00:10:53,733 --> 00:10:55,833
You're the conductor of the
orchestra, we're just...
294
00:10:55,933 --> 00:10:56,967
we own the opera house.
295
00:10:57,767 --> 00:10:59,667
We just wanna make you rich, man.
296
00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:01,267
- I'm security.
- Mm?
297
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:02,733
You're a terrorist.
298
00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:04,700
- And I'm letting you in...
- Ah.
299
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:05,700
Let's blow some shit up.
300
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,800
Right. Yeah. -You're just the
coach of the Rabbitohs.
301
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:11,300
I'm Russell Crowe in the box
having party pies.
302
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,233
I'm worried about Gladiator
and shit.
303
00:11:13,333 --> 00:11:14,400
- Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
304
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,200
And you're down there going,
"Get him back."
305
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,467
"Run the field."
306
00:11:17,567 --> 00:11:19,100
- Yeah.
-"Get Greg forward."
307
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,500
- Yeah.
- And I'm just up in the box
308
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,467
- trying to connect with my son.
- Yeah.
309
00:11:22,567 --> 00:11:23,933
- You get it.
- Yeah, I get it.
310
00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:25,433
- I mean, I think I...
- Now, we're cool.
311
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,800
- Let me-- all right, hey, now?
- Yeah?
312
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,000
Let me take you somewhere
special.
313
00:11:31,933 --> 00:11:33,867
They do a good nachos here.
314
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:35,933
Oh yeah?
315
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,933
They'll do chicken or beef or
whatever.
316
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:41,900
Do you want to get some?
317
00:11:42,767 --> 00:11:43,833
Is that all right?
318
00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:46,533
Yeah, get out. Go on.
319
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,000
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
320
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,667
I think James thinks about me
when he masturbates.
321
00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:54,067
- Excuse me?
- Yeah.
322
00:11:54,167 --> 00:11:56,033
He told me that he doesn't use
porn,
323
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,733
he just thinks about people he
was with.
324
00:11:58,833 --> 00:11:59,700
That's pretty cool.
325
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,267
What?
326
00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:03,733
What? You hated
male masturbation this morning.
327
00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:07,933
Yeah, but if I feature in it,
like, that's pretty cool.
328
00:12:08,033 --> 00:12:09,900
A word please, Ashley.
329
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,400
We've had a complaint
330
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:14,700
from a Mrs Mary Robson.
331
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:16,967
- Are you kidding?
332
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:19,367
Not a laughing matter,
Megan. -Mm?
333
00:12:19,467 --> 00:12:20,633
Sorry, Gene.
334
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,267
Mr Robson, though.
335
00:12:27,367 --> 00:12:28,567
That's pretty cool.
336
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:29,800
I don't sound like that.
337
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:32,200
That's pretty
cool. -[Ashley] Shut up.
338
00:12:36,967 --> 00:12:39,167
- Probably head off--
- Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus?
339
00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:42,967
Shit, um, probably Taylor.
340
00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:45,467
I'm Miley. She frightens me
and I love it, man.
341
00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:47,100
- Do ya?
- Oh yeah.
342
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,700
Oh, Crystal, well done!
343
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,967
Athletes, mate. They're
athletes.
344
00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:54,300
How often can you
get this close to athletes?
345
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,333
- In their prime?
Yep.
346
00:12:57,433 --> 00:12:59,300
I mean, this is LeBron
courtside.
347
00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:01,467
- Isn't it?
- Yep.
348
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:06,567
Righto, Crys, that's great.
Good stuff.
349
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:08,933
That's from both of us.
We're celebrating.
350
00:13:09,867 --> 00:13:12,633
Now, Batman or Superman?
351
00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:15,100
Batman, probably.
352
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,533
Oh, yeah, easy.
353
00:13:16,633 --> 00:13:17,967
Robert Pattinson Batman.
354
00:13:18,067 --> 00:13:19,433
- Really?
- Yeah.
355
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:20,933
You reckon?
356
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,000
Yeah...
357
00:13:23,467 --> 00:13:27,633
Do you reckon you prefer to
breathe underwater or just fly?
358
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,933
Ashley, I need to know
exactly what happened.
359
00:13:33,033 --> 00:13:35,033
Mrs Robson's very upset.
360
00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:37,633
I was trying to pull back his
foreskin, okay?
361
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:40,400
There was a lot
of excess skin around the head.
362
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:41,567
He's circumcised.
363
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:43,967
Yeah, I mean, take that up
with his childhood doctor.
364
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:45,867
Gene, his penis is a mess.
365
00:13:45,967 --> 00:13:47,700
I beg your pardon, Mrs Robson.
366
00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:50,433
Oh, come on...
367
00:13:50,533 --> 00:13:52,433
I'm so sorry, Mrs Robson.
368
00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:54,233
Look, if you'd like to go back
and wait in the lounge,
369
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,033
I'll be with you in just a
moment.
370
00:13:58,667 --> 00:14:00,733
Now, I'm not sure what's worse.
371
00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:02,467
Your overall conduct
372
00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:04,667
or the fact that you're
a sixth-year medical student
373
00:14:04,767 --> 00:14:07,600
who can't tell whether a penis
has been circumcised or not.
374
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,167
Do you need to see the
slideshow again?
375
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:10,667
No, please.
376
00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:12,767
Lot of paperwork here.
377
00:14:12,867 --> 00:14:15,300
This is a sexual assault
complaint.
378
00:14:15,867 --> 00:14:17,533
Gene, do you know how many
times I've been felt up
379
00:14:17,633 --> 00:14:19,833
by men exactly like him?
380
00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:21,900
How many?
- Too many.
381
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,400
Well, maybe your manner's a bit
whiffy?
382
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,400
You're being too sexy.
383
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:31,700
Do you want to take that back,
Gene?
384
00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:33,300
I do.
385
00:14:34,233 --> 00:14:35,500
Can I go now?
386
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:36,700
Yes, you can go.
387
00:14:37,367 --> 00:14:38,567
I'll sort this out.
388
00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:40,600
Okay, good. Thank you.
389
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,100
All right, good.
390
00:14:46,567 --> 00:14:48,467
All the good girls have been on
anyway.
391
00:14:48,567 --> 00:14:49,667
Yeah, totally.
392
00:14:50,267 --> 00:14:53,000
Oi, let's go to the driving
range. I've got a spare set in
the car.
393
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,567
Oh, mate, I... I don't know.
394
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:55,933
What don't you know?
395
00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:57,867
I don't know about everything,
do you know what I mean?
396
00:14:57,967 --> 00:15:00,800
I don't know if this is a good
fit for us, to be honest.
397
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,067
A good fit?
- Yeah, sorry, man.
398
00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:06,433
It was a pretty good fit when
you ordered a $200 bottle of
sticky.
399
00:15:06,533 --> 00:15:08,400
You said "help yourself",
mate. -And you did.
400
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:09,800
- Cockhead.
- I'm a cockhead?
401
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:10,767
Yes, you are a
cockhead.
402
00:15:10,867 --> 00:15:12,433
You're dank, mate.
403
00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:14,233
That place was dank.
404
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:16,100
- You're fucked, mate.
- I'm fucked?
405
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,400
- Yeah.
- No, you're literally fucked.
406
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,267
You're brewery's closed in 12
months, mate. You got nothing.
407
00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:20,667
- No, mate, I've got plenty.
- Yeah? Hit me.
408
00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:22,700
And it's mine, all right? So,
fuck ya.
409
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:23,933
Here we go!
Yeah, you're fuckin'--
410
00:15:24,033 --> 00:15:25,533
Yeah, here we go.
Here we fuckin' go, mate.
411
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:28,100
Yeah, yeah, come on,
mate! -[bouncer] Nah, nah, not
here, fellas.
412
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,933
- Take it down the road.
Fuck you, mate.
413
00:15:30,033 --> 00:15:32,367
If you fuckin'--
414
00:15:32,467 --> 00:15:33,633
You fuckin' prick!
415
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:34,967
Here we go! Here we
go! -
416
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:37,500
This is helping.
This is good.
417
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:38,933
Feel the cold.
418
00:15:39,033 --> 00:15:40,033
Be the cold.
419
00:15:40,133 --> 00:15:41,433
Brr, this is good.
420
00:15:41,533 --> 00:15:42,400
Oh, shit.
421
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,467
I-- This is unbelievable.
422
00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:45,767
You are wasted.
423
00:15:45,867 --> 00:15:47,100
No, Ash, no, I'm sober. -It's
all good, I'm working on him.
424
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,033
Don't worry, all right?
425
00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:49,400
Where did you go? What did you
do?
426
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,700
Ah, well, I went, ah...
it was just lunch.
427
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,833
But then, honestly,
Jared took me to a strip club.
428
00:15:53,933 --> 00:15:55,200
- Which one?
- Are you joking?
429
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,400
- Crazy Girls.
- Ah, yeah.
430
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,733
Uh, no, but it was...
I didn't like it.
431
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:00,967
Don't be mad.
It was... it was really dank.
432
00:16:01,067 --> 00:16:02,633
Yeah, no, I can back that up.
433
00:16:02,733 --> 00:16:04,533
Ash, he's not really a strip
club guy.
434
00:16:04,633 --> 00:16:05,800
He's more a play-the-pokies
guy.
435
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:07,133
- That's true.
- Oh, cool.
436
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:08,133
What a catch.
437
00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:11,667
You're supposed to clean
the bin, you guys.
438
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,233
- Disgusting.
439
00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:16,967
Gordon, what is that?
- What?
440
00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:18,833
That is a fuckin' rat!
441
00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:19,900
- What?
Oh, shit.
442
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,067
Oh, fuck! -[Brett] No, no,
that's half a rat.
443
00:16:21,167 --> 00:16:23,033
- Oh, no, no!
- Oh my God. Oh my God.
444
00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:25,167
Oh no! It's like a
yoyo. -
445
00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:26,900
Fuckin' hell! Is that--
446
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,833
Holy shit!
Ah!
447
00:16:31,933 --> 00:16:33,000
No, he's good.
- I can't breathe.
448
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,600
He's good. He's all fine. He's
fine.
449
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:37,567
Great. I'm gonna go get
changed.
450
00:16:49,367 --> 00:16:50,267
Sorry.
451
00:16:50,367 --> 00:16:51,967
- Are you right?
- I am. I promise I am.
452
00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:53,800
I had a coffee. I'm good, I'm
good.
453
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,500
- Sort it out.
- Yeah.
454
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,867
- Ooh, there they are.
- Okay.
455
00:16:57,967 --> 00:16:59,767
- Hello.
- Hi.
456
00:16:59,867 --> 00:17:02,067
Ashy, this is Rumi.
457
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:03,400
I've heard so much.
458
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,367
Same, girl, same. Oh my God.
459
00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:07,000
Oh.
- Oh my God.
460
00:17:08,667 --> 00:17:10,600
You are such a good person.
461
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:13,600
- You're such a great hugger.
- I'll take one of those.
462
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,400
- This is Gordon, my boyfriend.
463
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,300
Hi.
- Hi.
464
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,033
Ooh!
- Ah, oh.
465
00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:19,167
- Covid elbow?
Oh.
466
00:17:19,267 --> 00:17:20,433
I don't know.
467
00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:21,767
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- No, it's fine.
468
00:17:21,867 --> 00:17:23,900
Yeah, he's never met a woman
before.
469
00:17:26,233 --> 00:17:27,967
Sit down, sit down.
Mm.
470
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:29,367
- I haven't been here before.
- Do you want to...?
471
00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:30,533
But I've heard it's, yep.
472
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,333
Mm, it smells good.
473
00:17:32,433 --> 00:17:34,500
Do you know, I actually think
this was my grandmother's
house?
474
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,733
No way!
475
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:38,667
Yeah, this was the old post
office and she used to live
upstairs.
476
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:39,867
- Oh.
- Wow.
477
00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:42,433
My grandmother was the first
female postmaster-general.
478
00:17:42,533 --> 00:17:43,767
Uh-huh?
479
00:17:43,867 --> 00:17:45,700
Postmistress, I suppose.
-[politely] Yeah.
480
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,667
Communication, you know?
481
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:48,700
Legacy.
482
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,100
- Oh my God, that's beautiful.
Yeah.
483
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,700
- Yeah, right.
- Amazing.
484
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,833
Hello, folks. Here you go.
485
00:17:53,933 --> 00:17:55,000
Can I... can I just ask,
486
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,333
did this used to be the old
post office?
487
00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:58,633
Um, I can ask?
488
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,133
No, it's okay. I know it is.
489
00:18:00,233 --> 00:18:02,433
You know when you can feel
something? -[Megan] Yeah.
490
00:18:02,533 --> 00:18:04,000
Thank you.
- Yeah.
491
00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:06,367
Love that. Welcome to
Shwa.
492
00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:07,567
Have you dined with us before?
493
00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:08,867
I have. I know that
494
00:18:08,967 --> 00:18:10,267
your menu goes from small to
big,
495
00:18:10,367 --> 00:18:11,600
the numbers are prices,
496
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,333
and, ah, your pronouns are
he/him.
497
00:18:13,433 --> 00:18:14,433
So sorry.
498
00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:16,800
God, we would never assume
anyone's pronouns. We...
499
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:18,833
No, no, no, I'm not. No, he
told me that like a month ago.
500
00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:20,000
Oh, it's really sweet of
you,
501
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,367
but they're actually he/they
now.
502
00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:23,433
Yes!
503
00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:24,800
- Go off, King.
- Thank you.
504
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:26,233
-[Dean] I'll give you
guys a minute.
505
00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:27,833
- Could we...?
Sure.
506
00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:28,967
Thank you.
507
00:18:30,733 --> 00:18:32,067
Oh my God!
508
00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:34,500
Negroni spagliato
with prosecco with it? Yes!
509
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:35,833
Need, need, need.
510
00:18:35,933 --> 00:18:37,833
Shall I get a round for
the table? Let's do this.
511
00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:38,867
Have you got my hat?
512
00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:41,933
- Sorry, what?
My hat?
513
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,333
No, no, I gave it to the
waiter.
514
00:18:43,433 --> 00:18:45,100
Who, the... that guy?
515
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,267
- Yes.
- Oh.
516
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:47,267
Sorry--
517
00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:49,367
No, no, no, absolutely fine.
Um...
518
00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:51,533
It's just, it's 'cause it's
vintage, I'm just gonna...
519
00:18:51,633 --> 00:18:52,567
Give me one second.
520
00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:53,833
Sorry, hi!
521
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,900
- Gordon.
- Sorry. I'm sorry, Meggles.
522
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,533
No, it's fine. She just,
she likes her hat.
523
00:18:57,633 --> 00:18:58,967
Yeah, it's great.
524
00:18:59,067 --> 00:18:59,933
Isn't she great?
525
00:19:00,033 --> 00:19:01,033
- Yes.
- Yes.
526
00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:02,533
- She is...
- She's great.
527
00:19:02,633 --> 00:19:04,267
- She's great. She's fun, and...
Yeah.
528
00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:07,567
Everybody, relax. Whoo!
529
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,700
There we go. My God.
Yeah, she's back.
530
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,433
I actually also wonder,
531
00:19:11,533 --> 00:19:13,433
so what I think we should start
with, tell me what you think?
532
00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,233
Do you mind if I order?
Can I be that person?
533
00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:16,333
- Please do.
Fantastic.
534
00:19:16,433 --> 00:19:18,067
- Be that person.
- Do they have a hat rack?
535
00:19:18,167 --> 00:19:19,367
- I'm joking.
536
00:19:19,467 --> 00:19:20,633
It's a joke.
537
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,300
You know, I saw my
mother, I saw my sisters,
538
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,700
I don't even have any sisters,
539
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,633
but I cannot recommend
Ayahuasca enough, you know?
540
00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:34,200
Mm, they have that
in the Blue Mountains, I think.
541
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:35,800
Oh, no, not the same.
542
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,100
Not the same.
- No?
543
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,067
No, you have to do it in
South America, otherwise, what?
544
00:19:39,167 --> 00:19:40,367
- Sure.
545
00:19:40,467 --> 00:19:42,267
Guys, do you know, I've got a
mate who does ketamine therapy?
546
00:19:42,367 --> 00:19:45,067
And so, for 45 minutes, he goes
in and gets injected with
ketamine,
547
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:47,300
and then, um, he's out,
completely out,
548
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,100
and he wakes up and he,
he has a cry, and then...
549
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,467
But you've got texts to do,
so not a problem.
550
00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:58,033
You had enough to eat, baby?
551
00:19:58,133 --> 00:20:00,400
- Yeah, I'm okay, baby.
- Mmm. Come here.
552
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:03,467
Tell you what,
the Rogan Josh is amazing.
553
00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:04,533
- Mm!
- Really...
554
00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:05,467
- Best thing.
Yeah.
555
00:20:05,567 --> 00:20:06,700
It's good, right?
556
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,533
It's good. I mean, street food
in India is better, but...
557
00:20:09,633 --> 00:20:11,367
- Have you been?
- Oh, many times.
558
00:20:11,467 --> 00:20:12,533
Many, many times.
559
00:20:12,633 --> 00:20:14,567
- Really?
- Yeah. God yeah.
560
00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:16,733
India's really interesting,
right? As a place.
561
00:20:16,833 --> 00:20:18,867
Because, of course,
my last name is Cashmere,
562
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:23,000
and so that is actually
originating in the Kashmir
district.
563
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:26,767
I actually consider myself
Kashmiri.
564
00:20:26,867 --> 00:20:28,467
Yeah, but you're not Indian.
565
00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:31,500
Not in my roots, but...
566
00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:35,100
Yeah. But, I mean, are... are
you?
567
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,033
'Cause I'm... I'm Sri Lankan
actually.
568
00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:39,267
- Yeah.
Mm.
569
00:20:39,367 --> 00:20:41,500
I know that, baby. I know that.
570
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,567
I'm just saying, you know,
street food, better in the
Kashmiri district.
571
00:20:46,367 --> 00:20:47,433
Mm.
572
00:20:48,667 --> 00:20:51,167
I can't wait to travel with
you.
573
00:20:51,267 --> 00:20:53,733
-I'm
really looking forward to it.
574
00:20:54,867 --> 00:20:56,000
I love you.
575
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:58,333
So proud of you.
576
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:01,333
I've just stopped voting
now
577
00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:04,600
'cause I think that's the best
use of my voice right now.
578
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:07,867
And I said to her, "That's
clearly because you didn't
breastfeed him,
579
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,067
and now you can't trust him."
580
00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:13,467
And I thought, this is it,
and I wet my pants in protest.
581
00:21:13,567 --> 00:21:16,100
I don't believe in pets as a
concept.
582
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,633
That is essentially slavery to
me.
583
00:21:18,733 --> 00:21:21,233
And then after all that,
584
00:21:21,333 --> 00:21:23,567
had to stop playing trombone.
585
00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:25,767
And my doctor, Susan, said
586
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:28,100
that I actually have two
uteruses.
587
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,167
Uterine didelphys. Studied
that. -[Megan] Yeah, we studied
it.
588
00:21:30,267 --> 00:21:33,733
And when Susan diagnosed me,
she actually broke down crying
589
00:21:33,833 --> 00:21:36,300
because her mother had
dual uteri, right,
590
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:42,033
and Susan's mum
had lost her twin at birth,
591
00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:43,467
and get this,
592
00:21:43,567 --> 00:21:47,400
Susan's mum had named
the deceased baby Rumi.
593
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:48,433
Whoa.
594
00:21:48,533 --> 00:21:49,467
I know! I know!
595
00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:50,900
When she said that, we cried,
596
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,267
we hugged, and the clock on the
wall actually stopped.
597
00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:54,633
Oh, shut up!
598
00:21:54,733 --> 00:21:56,133
Excuse me?
- Shut the fuck up.
599
00:21:56,233 --> 00:21:58,500
I beg your pardon?!
- Sorry, I'm so sorry.
600
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,100
But fucking come on,
Meggles, please.
601
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:01,067
Wow.
602
00:22:01,167 --> 00:22:02,833
Wow, you little boy.
603
00:22:02,933 --> 00:22:04,667
I'm a little boy?
- Yeah, you're a little boy.
604
00:22:04,767 --> 00:22:06,233
- Yeah, you're a little boy.
Am I?
605
00:22:06,333 --> 00:22:08,367
What, 'cause I'm not trying to
fuck you, I've got to keep my
mouth shut?
606
00:22:08,467 --> 00:22:10,067
- What?
- Whoa, okay, Rumi.
607
00:22:10,167 --> 00:22:11,833
I think that's not it,
actually. -[Rumi] Really?
608
00:22:11,933 --> 00:22:13,233
- No.
- Really?
609
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:15,167
If I can, I think what it is,
is that you haven't asked he or
I
610
00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:16,500
a single question all night.
611
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:17,500
Oh, Ashley, come on.
612
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,033
No, it's true.
Ah, Ash...
613
00:22:19,133 --> 00:22:20,467
You can pipe in at any point.
614
00:22:20,567 --> 00:22:21,867
That's exactly how
conversation works. -Yeah.
615
00:22:21,967 --> 00:22:23,233
- In what space?
- Yeah.
616
00:22:23,333 --> 00:22:26,400
You go on and on and on with
these insanely uncheckable
stories.
617
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:27,833
They're checkable!
They're all checkable.
618
00:22:27,933 --> 00:22:30,867
No, actually, Rumi, I think the
genius of you is that they're
not.
619
00:22:30,967 --> 00:22:31,833
Huh.
- Huh.
620
00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:33,000
Wow.
- Wow.
621
00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:35,933
Jordan, I am sure you've heard
this a million times,
622
00:22:36,033 --> 00:22:38,900
but you have a garden variety
Madonna Whore complex.
623
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,733
OK, I don't think we need to
say that. -Nope, first time.
624
00:22:40,833 --> 00:22:43,067
Really? Wow, if you can't see
it, it's very clear to me.
625
00:22:43,167 --> 00:22:44,467
- Hey, don't--
- In this situation, what am I?
626
00:22:44,567 --> 00:22:45,533
Madonna or Whore?
627
00:22:45,633 --> 00:22:46,800
- Well, you're in...
Please, tell me.
628
00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:49,067
...a heteronormative
domestic partnership,
629
00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:50,967
so I'm gonna say you're the
Madonna,
630
00:22:51,067 --> 00:22:53,100
and that's the reason that
he still looks at porn.
631
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,300
Oh, fuckin' what?
632
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,433
- Jesus, Meggles.
Oh, sorry.
633
00:22:56,533 --> 00:22:58,467
Do you not have anything else
to talk about, the two of you?
634
00:22:58,567 --> 00:23:00,433
- Oh! Don't you?!
- Oh, us?!
635
00:23:00,533 --> 00:23:02,733
I mean, that is
all you talked about all day
636
00:23:02,833 --> 00:23:05,633
and we just, we just stopped
talking about how many women he
slept with.
637
00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:07,433
Oh my God. -And now
it's how he's watching porn.
638
00:23:07,533 --> 00:23:08,900
Well, this isn't very
humiliating.
639
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,867
Well, can you just stop
looking for issues?
640
00:23:10,967 --> 00:23:12,000
Sorry.
- Oh, wow.
641
00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:14,000
I... I can't be the only person
here who watches porn.
642
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:15,833
You're not.
I watch ethical porn.
643
00:23:15,933 --> 00:23:16,833
Okay, how do you know I don't?
644
00:23:16,933 --> 00:23:18,533
Well, who directed this
morning's piece?
645
00:23:18,633 --> 00:23:19,533
Ah...
646
00:23:19,633 --> 00:23:20,967
Jessie...
647
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,167
Cock... man.
648
00:23:24,667 --> 00:23:25,967
Yeah, you got me, Rumi.
649
00:23:26,067 --> 00:23:28,567
Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't stay
for the fuckin' finishing
credits.
650
00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:30,800
I fuckin' watch low-grade porn,
was that not clear?
651
00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:32,233
- Wow. Wow.
- Wow yourself.
652
00:23:32,333 --> 00:23:34,800
Okay, I'm just gonna get the
bill. -You fuck...
653
00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:36,433
Cheers, and also,
654
00:23:36,533 --> 00:23:38,933
it's Gordon, not Jordan.
655
00:23:39,033 --> 00:23:39,933
Who? What, this?
656
00:23:40,033 --> 00:23:41,733
- Yes.
Don't worry about it.
657
00:23:41,833 --> 00:23:44,167
Don't really know why I keep
coming back to this restaurant.
658
00:23:45,900 --> 00:23:47,100
So.
659
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,500
- Can I have my hat?
Oh. Yeah.
660
00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:54,933
Take off my hat.
661
00:23:58,167 --> 00:23:59,767
- Take off my hat.
- Guys.
662
00:24:04,433 --> 00:24:05,500
There you go.
663
00:24:07,267 --> 00:24:08,100
There it is.
664
00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:09,967
Take it.
665
00:24:13,867 --> 00:24:15,133
- Gordon.
- Hey.
666
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,433
There, take it.
667
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:20,800
For fuck's sake.
668
00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:22,733
Thanks, Gordon. Helpful.
669
00:24:22,833 --> 00:24:24,167
Very mature, Gordon.
670
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,133
- I'm sorry, Meggles.
Yep.
671
00:24:34,767 --> 00:24:36,833
Well, that was the
worst.
672
00:24:36,933 --> 00:24:37,833
Yep. Yep.
673
00:24:37,933 --> 00:24:39,467
- That was...
- She sucks.
674
00:24:39,567 --> 00:24:40,633
She's not good.
675
00:24:41,467 --> 00:24:43,167
She's not good. I'm glad I
sobered up for her though.
676
00:24:43,267 --> 00:24:45,500
Oh my gosh.
677
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,567
Can I just say that I'm very
sorry that that happened
678
00:24:51,667 --> 00:24:53,767
with the porn and telling
Meggles...
679
00:24:53,867 --> 00:24:54,733
You know what?
680
00:24:54,833 --> 00:24:56,433
Yes, humiliating.
681
00:24:56,533 --> 00:24:58,567
But also, I get it.
682
00:24:58,667 --> 00:25:00,933
I get it. You gotta talk to
someone.
683
00:25:01,033 --> 00:25:02,100
And I'm sorry.
684
00:25:03,033 --> 00:25:04,467
Can we talk about it a little
bit?
685
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:06,600
Sure.
686
00:25:07,233 --> 00:25:10,700
I am sorry that it made you
feel weird.
687
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,000
Mm-hmm.
688
00:25:12,100 --> 00:25:15,500
But also, you need to know that
it's not that big a deal to me.
689
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,667
Yeah, it is to me, though,
because I... I just felt
690
00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:19,900
rejected.
691
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,533
It may be silly, but
692
00:25:22,633 --> 00:25:24,500
I just thought we were in,
like, a honeymoon phase, and...
693
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:25,667
Yeah.
694
00:25:25,767 --> 00:25:27,700
- We are having a lot of sex.
- Yeah.
695
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,333
So I'm just like,
"Why do you need to do that?"
696
00:25:30,433 --> 00:25:32,233
Oh, I didn't need to do it,
it was just something...
697
00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:34,400
It was stupid. It was...
I just did it in the moment.
698
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:35,633
You know, there was an on-ramp.
699
00:25:35,733 --> 00:25:37,300
Yeah, the legs. -You know, and
I just did it for myself.
700
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,233
Yes!
701
00:25:38,333 --> 00:25:40,333
And it's just, it's not about
you.
702
00:25:40,433 --> 00:25:41,467
It is though.
703
00:25:42,067 --> 00:25:43,833
Because...
You could have...
704
00:25:43,933 --> 00:25:45,300
We could have hung out instead.
705
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,167
That was the offer, and you...
you...
706
00:25:47,267 --> 00:25:48,133
We could have.
707
00:25:48,233 --> 00:25:50,233
I know, but, Ash-- and you're
the best--
708
00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:53,400
but just walking all the way
to the train station
709
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:55,033
and back again with Colin...
710
00:25:55,133 --> 00:25:56,733
He's just so fuckin' slow.
711
00:25:56,833 --> 00:25:58,067
He is slow, bless him.
712
00:25:59,167 --> 00:26:00,167
- I get it.
- Honestly, Ash,
713
00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:02,367
this is a thing that I've done
since I was, what?
714
00:26:02,467 --> 00:26:03,467
Thirteen?
715
00:26:03,567 --> 00:26:05,067
It's a deeply-formed habit.
716
00:26:05,167 --> 00:26:07,200
- Maybe a bad one, I don't know.
- Okay, okay.
717
00:26:08,633 --> 00:26:11,100
I mean, you must at
least occasionally, you know...
718
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,133
- Don't say "flick the bean".
- Flick the bean.
719
00:26:13,233 --> 00:26:14,500
I...
720
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,733
just wouldn't choose it
over time with you.
721
00:26:16,833 --> 00:26:18,367
That's all.
722
00:26:18,467 --> 00:26:19,933
- Right?
- That's fair enough.
723
00:26:20,033 --> 00:26:21,533
That's fair enough.
724
00:26:21,633 --> 00:26:22,433
I-- I'm gonna--
725
00:26:22,533 --> 00:26:23,733
I'll be more mindful.
726
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,367
- Oh, will you?
- Yeah.
727
00:26:25,467 --> 00:26:26,300
Like a yogi?
728
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,600
- Yes, like a tantric yogi.
729
00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:30,000
Like Sting.
730
00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:33,000
Okay, I reckon Sting would go
all right.
731
00:26:33,100 --> 00:26:34,933
Oh, mate, Sting goes off.
732
00:26:35,033 --> 00:26:36,567
Without a doubt.
733
00:26:37,433 --> 00:26:39,533
While we're on the
subject... -[Gordon] Yeah?
734
00:26:39,633 --> 00:26:42,967
I accidentally jerked
off an elderly man at work
today.
735
00:26:45,700 --> 00:26:46,900
Okay.
Yeah.
736
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,600
Well, you know, I
mean, that...
737
00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:51,467
That's ethical porn.
It is.
738
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:53,833
I mean, there are no
accidents,
739
00:26:53,933 --> 00:26:55,700
so let's just say
I jerked off an elderly man.
740
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,000
Okay. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. -[Ashley] At work.
741
00:26:57,100 --> 00:27:00,233
It's very hard to
accidentally jerk someone off.
742
00:27:00,333 --> 00:27:02,767
How'd it happen? Is
this real? This actually
happened?
743
00:27:02,867 --> 00:27:05,500
It was... it was a
foreskin misunderstanding.
744
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,767
Oh, is that what
happened? -[Ashley] All right?
745
00:27:07,867 --> 00:27:09,267
Yeah, yeah. I mean,
that happens.
746
00:27:09,367 --> 00:27:12,333
* I was
doing fine, then I met you ♪
747
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,100
♪ I don't need a sign
748
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,100
♪ What will be will be
52865
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