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1
00:00:01,033 --> 00:00:02,200
And then, you know,
2
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:05,000
and then John came to me and he
said, "You know, I love this."
3
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:07,167
"You know, we should call that
song 'Get Fucked'."
4
00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:09,700
And I was like, "No, we should
call it 'Get Back'."
5
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,400
So, that's what we did. Yeah, yeah.
6
00:00:13,833 --> 00:00:16,400
That's an anecdote from me, Sir
Paul,
7
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,367
you know, the greatest ever
Beatle.
8
00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:19,867
Still alive. The only one.
9
00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:21,167
Apart from Ringo, but no one
cares.
10
00:00:22,567 --> 00:00:23,667
That's his
voice. -[Megan] Oh my God, Ash!
11
00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:25,500
- Oh, whoa, you right, mate?
- Ash, have you seen this?
12
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,033
Wait.-Oi, we could have been
doing anything.
13
00:00:27,133 --> 00:00:29,100
No, I heard what you were
doing. The voices.
14
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:30,267
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
15
00:00:30,367 --> 00:00:31,933
- Oh, righto.
- Oh, whoa, okay, boobies.
16
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,867
Oh, no, look, it's nothing he
hasn't seen before.
17
00:00:35,333 --> 00:00:36,467
Really? You two?
18
00:00:36,567 --> 00:00:37,867
- Oh, mate...
- Mate, a million years ago.
19
00:00:37,967 --> 00:00:39,333
Ancient history. Ancient
Greece.
20
00:00:39,433 --> 00:00:41,100
You've got to look at it. Look
at it. -Okay, Ash, Ash, look at
this.
21
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,300
- What are we...?
- I wouldn't say
22
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,367
that I was a Christ figure
necessarily.
23
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:45,867
Oh, this guy's fucked.
24
00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:47,033
I do...
25
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:49,867
Actually, yeah.
26
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:50,967
Oh my God.
27
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:52,533
- Is this now?
Mm-hmm.
28
00:00:52,633 --> 00:00:55,000
I'm the only one asking him
anything. There's like four
people watching.
29
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,600
Well, fuckin' stop it.
Does he know it's you?
30
00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:57,833
- Nup. Wait, I got one.
31
00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,367
Do I get eczema?
32
00:00:59,467 --> 00:01:00,767
Oh, that...
33
00:01:00,967 --> 00:01:03,600
Look, I do sometimes get a
slight heat rash on my upper
thighs
34
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:05,000
- after a too warm shower.
Mate.
35
00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:05,967
Don't tell us that.
36
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:07,767
- Lee.
- More questions, please.
37
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,867
Honestly, you can ask me
anything.
38
00:01:09,967 --> 00:01:12,000
I mean, was it just the once?
39
00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,267
- What?
- What?
40
00:01:13,933 --> 00:01:16,233
Was it just the once that he
got eczema? Ask him.
41
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:38,733
Mum, is Lee with you?
42
00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,333
Yes, he's upstairs.
Why?
43
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:44,067
He's doing a live Ask Me
Anything. I thought he was off
the internet.
44
00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:46,867
Oh, he's only allowed on
for 20 minutes, darling.
45
00:01:46,967 --> 00:01:48,400
He's been on for
hours, Mum.
46
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,000
It's embarrassing.
Megan's fucking with him.
47
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,133
Lee?
48
00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:55,033
Lee!
49
00:01:55,133 --> 00:01:56,367
I-- I'm busy!
50
00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:58,167
G'day!
51
00:01:58,267 --> 00:01:59,133
Strange man.
52
00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:00,067
There's-- strange man.
53
00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:01,700
Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm not
strange.
54
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,567
I've, ah... got the rock key.
55
00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:05,033
Oh. Mum, I've gotta go.
56
00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:07,000
I'll stay on the
line. Have you got your rape
whistle?
57
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,500
No, no. It's okay. I'll call
you later.
58
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:09,500
Look, if you can't
speak,
59
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,700
say, "Yes, bananas are in
season,
60
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,533
and I know a very good farmer."
61
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:14,833
Mum, that is way too
long.
62
00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:16,033
I'll call you later. Bye.
63
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:18,600
Sorry. I'm Heavy.
64
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:19,533
Flash's brother.
65
00:02:19,633 --> 00:02:21,400
- Oh...
Okay?
66
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,333
- Right?
- Oh... right...
67
00:02:23,433 --> 00:02:24,267
Come on, bring it in.
68
00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:26,267
- Oh, all right. Hey.
- Hey.
69
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:28,900
Yeah...
70
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,500
Good?
- Yes.
71
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,467
Okay.
72
00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:33,067
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
73
00:02:33,167 --> 00:02:35,033
All right. So,
you're the cleaner, are you?
74
00:02:35,133 --> 00:02:37,100
Place looks fantastic.
75
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,167
- No.
- Oh, okay.
76
00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:41,467
So, ah, Gordon's actually
at work right now, so...
77
00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:42,433
Oh, is he?
78
00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:44,700
Ugh, fuck. He's got a mind like
a sieve.
79
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,500
He is expecting me.
80
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,800
Is he?
- Yeah. Yeah.
81
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,600
Yeah. And you said your name's
Heavy?
82
00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:50,867
Alistair.
83
00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:52,833
- Oh.
- Stair. Stairway.
84
00:02:52,933 --> 00:02:54,033
Stairway to Heaven.
85
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,033
Evanesce.
86
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,433
- Heavy.
- Ah.
87
00:02:57,533 --> 00:02:59,600
Also, "He Ain't Heavy, He's My
Brother."
88
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:00,633
Works on a few levels.
89
00:03:00,733 --> 00:03:01,800
So many levels.
90
00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:03,233
Yeah.
- Yeah.
91
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,233
- It's pretty cool.
- Yeah.
92
00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:06,467
Yeah...
93
00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:07,867
Okay.
94
00:03:07,967 --> 00:03:10,900
So, if you thought I was the
cleaner, why'd we hug for so
long?
95
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,900
- Or at all?
- Yeah, I know, right?
96
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,433
- So crazy.
- It is crazy.
97
00:03:16,533 --> 00:03:18,233
Yeah. Why did we?
98
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,067
I don't know. Just...
99
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,933
felt like the right thing to
do.
100
00:03:23,033 --> 00:03:24,867
And, you know,
I thought you were the cleaner.
101
00:03:25,433 --> 00:03:26,900
So, yeah.
102
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,500
The place looks great.
103
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,267
Yeah, good job.
104
00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:31,700
Well, no.
105
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,233
But yeah.
106
00:03:38,567 --> 00:03:41,400
So, in two days, I go home and
he goes to Wollongong.
107
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,667
It's called birdnesting.
108
00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:45,000
One week on, one week off, and
the kids stay in their routine.
109
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,233
Sounds intense.
110
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:48,167
No, raising three kids with a
guy you don't love anymore
111
00:03:48,267 --> 00:03:50,200
who's trying to break into
musicals, that's intense.
112
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:52,033
- Right.
- This is just a pain.
113
00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:54,200
So, does Meggles
go home with you, or...?
114
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,500
- No, that would be weird.
- Weird?
115
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,733
No, she... she goes back
to her home, and then...
116
00:03:57,833 --> 00:04:00,667
And then it's back to Gordon's
Halfway House for New Lesbians?
117
00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:01,567
Yeah, if that's okay.
118
00:04:01,667 --> 00:04:03,267
- Oh, mate. It's more than okay.
- Okay.
119
00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:04,267
- I love it.
- Do you?
120
00:04:04,367 --> 00:04:05,300
How long is this arrangement
gonna go on for?
121
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:06,467
- Well, I just...
Shh!
122
00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:08,133
My apologies, Your Honour.
123
00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:09,133
I'm not a
judge.
124
00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:10,700
I'm a mediator.
125
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:11,833
Call me Allan.
126
00:04:11,933 --> 00:04:13,333
Yes, Allan.
127
00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:15,767
I told you, Brett, this is not
a court. Why'd you bring a
lawyer?
128
00:04:15,867 --> 00:04:17,400
Uh, please direct
your speech towards me.
129
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,000
I will be speaking for my
client.
130
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:19,967
Thank you.
131
00:04:20,067 --> 00:04:21,200
How much are you paying this
joker?
132
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:23,767
Mum, Dad, I don't have to move
out.
133
00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:25,567
- I have squatter's rights.
- That's right.
134
00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:28,467
Squatter's rights
don't apply here, Brett.
135
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:29,500
Well, we tried.
136
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,800
Can I just say at this
juncture,
137
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:33,333
full respect on the Kevin Bacon
move.
138
00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:34,633
That was pretty lit.
139
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:38,500
Um, but please be aware that we
are speaking with Grant Denyer
140
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:39,567
for a response.
141
00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:41,067
Are we?
142
00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:42,567
Yes. Big time, man.
143
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,600
Oh, what?!
144
00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:45,500
Shh!
145
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,000
- You shush.
You shush.
146
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:47,900
What's wrong?
147
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,133
My brother's at my house.
148
00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:50,333
Oh. What's he doing in Sydney?
149
00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:52,900
He's going to Vegas tomorrow
for a "conference".
150
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,333
Ugh, gross.
151
00:04:54,433 --> 00:04:55,800
Yeah, I don't need to be here
for two customers. I'm going
home.
152
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:57,233
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
153
00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:59,067
I'm not leaving Ash at home
with my brother. He's a
shit-stirrer.
154
00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:00,167
He'll get me into trouble.
155
00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:02,533
- Hey, can I get a lift?
Hurry.
156
00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:03,500
- Hey, Brett.
- Shh!
157
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,800
No! You're closing
up! -What?!
158
00:05:07,467 --> 00:05:08,633
Apologies, Your Honour.
159
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,333
Sorry, it's a bit
messy.
160
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,667
Yeah, but we can move
all the boxes, obviously.
161
00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:18,433
Oh, yeah, thanks, that'd be
great, love.
162
00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:21,567
I've got an urgent meeting with
a slick brown dog, if you know
what I mean.
163
00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:23,100
Oh yeah, no worries, I'll do
it. -Yeah.
164
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,500
All right.
165
00:05:44,167 --> 00:05:45,467
Mmm...
166
00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:53,733
No...
167
00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:02,967
Okay, so you're the dog girl.
168
00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:04,300
Ah, right. Yes.
169
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,567
- Ashley.
- Mm.
170
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:07,767
Ashley. Right, okay.
171
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,567
So, you guys hanging out much?
172
00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:12,300
I'm his girlfriend.
173
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,800
Flashlight's got a girlfriend?
174
00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:15,033
Fuckin' hell.
175
00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:16,033
Yeah. Has he...
176
00:06:16,133 --> 00:06:17,333
He hasn't mentioned that?
177
00:06:17,433 --> 00:06:19,733
Huh. Are you guys exclusive?
178
00:06:20,933 --> 00:06:21,867
Yeah.
179
00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:24,300
Ooh, you didn't sound
too sure on that one.
180
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,367
I'd run that one by him.
181
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:27,167
- He's pretty stealthy.
- Is he?
182
00:06:27,267 --> 00:06:29,300
Yeah, well, they don't call him
Flash for nothing.
183
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,933
"Flash Gordon," he... is what
he said.
184
00:06:32,033 --> 00:06:33,700
No!
185
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,533
It's 'cause he's as flash as
a rat with a gold tooth,
186
00:06:35,633 --> 00:06:36,900
that's why they call him Flash.
187
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:37,867
Really?
188
00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:39,200
- Yeah.
- Oh.
189
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:42,467
Yeah, well, you know, as a
happily married man of 18
years...
190
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,167
...I've lived my entire fantasy
life vicariously through my
brother.
191
00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:49,300
So.
- Right...
192
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,367
But don't worry,
he doesn't send me pics.
193
00:06:52,467 --> 00:06:53,900
Anymore.
194
00:06:54,433 --> 00:06:55,733
Not of you.
195
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:56,933
- Yet.
196
00:06:57,033 --> 00:06:57,900
Hello.
197
00:06:58,733 --> 00:06:59,800
Flashlight!
198
00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:01,933
- Hey. Hey, Colin.
199
00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:03,967
I'm just going upstairs for a
bit. -[Gordon] Oh, okay.
200
00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,567
How's it going?
- Mate, what's going on?
201
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,100
You never confirmed
whether or not you were coming.
202
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,467
Oh, "confirmed".
203
00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:10,567
What, I'm your brother.
What, I gotta announce myself?
204
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:12,233
- Yes, mate, you do.
- Oh, come on.
205
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:13,433
Oh, Heavy, you loser.
206
00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,267
Chi-Chi, what's going on, you
bogan?
207
00:07:15,367 --> 00:07:16,433
A lot.
- Hey?
208
00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:18,367
What's going on? Why'd Ash go
upstairs?
209
00:07:18,867 --> 00:07:19,867
I don't know.
210
00:07:19,967 --> 00:07:21,633
You never told me
she was your girlfriend, hey.
211
00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:22,800
Nice.
212
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,367
Send us a pic, you cunt.
213
00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:32,100
Hi.
214
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,300
Hey.
215
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,433
You okay?
216
00:07:34,533 --> 00:07:35,533
Yeah.
217
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,367
Thanks for making room for
Heavy.
218
00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:40,233
No worries.
219
00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:41,967
Cool.
220
00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:44,933
Bit of a full house tonight.
Wish it was just us.
221
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,700
Oh well.
222
00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:50,367
So, you're not mad?
223
00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:53,467
Should I be mad?
224
00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:55,100
Nup. No.
225
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:57,433
All good.
226
00:07:58,233 --> 00:07:59,767
Oh, quick-- just while I've got
you.
227
00:07:59,867 --> 00:08:01,167
Yeah?
228
00:08:01,267 --> 00:08:02,400
Are we exclusive?
229
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,567
Yes-- what do you mean? Yes!
230
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:05,600
Of course we are.
231
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,300
You-- you live here, Ash.
What...?
232
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,167
Why?
233
00:08:08,267 --> 00:08:09,267
No, nothing. Nothing.
234
00:08:09,367 --> 00:08:10,900
Just... just wondering.
235
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,900
Yeah, Ash, of course.
236
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,233
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
237
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:20,067
You look beautiful, by the way.
238
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,067
What is that you put
on?
239
00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:25,167
Just now? Um...
240
00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:26,233
Mascara.
241
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:27,800
It's pretty.
- Thank you.
242
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:30,500
Like your dress.
243
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,300
It's a skirt and a top.
244
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,933
Right, yeah. No, it's good.
245
00:08:34,033 --> 00:08:35,033
Is it new, or...?
246
00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:36,833
- Nup.
Nup?
247
00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:38,500
Have you lost a bit of weight?
248
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,867
Nope.
249
00:08:39,967 --> 00:08:41,267
Not that you needed to.
250
00:08:41,367 --> 00:08:43,433
Not that you do need to, or
that you did need to if you
have.
251
00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:45,733
But if you haven't, you look
great now.
252
00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:47,767
Like, you don't need to lose--
But it doesn't matter!
253
00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:49,467
Like, you look great to me
at any weight.
254
00:08:49,567 --> 00:08:51,900
Like, you could balloon and I'd
be fine.
255
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,300
Like, you could... you could
get massive
256
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,333
and I'd be fine.
257
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:56,700
Because it's about...
258
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,367
But it's also, like, you could
afford to put on a little bit,
259
00:08:58,467 --> 00:08:59,400
and I could, you know...
260
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:00,567
Not that you need to!
261
00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:01,600
But-- and you don't need to,
like--
262
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:03,033
- Can you get out?!
- Yeah.
263
00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:05,833
Yeah, so, look,
I'm not condoning what he did.
264
00:09:05,933 --> 00:09:07,400
Oh, good. -
But the music's undeniable.
265
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,833
Hey. Hey, you fucked me here.
What did you say to her?
266
00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:11,267
- What?
- What did you say?
267
00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:13,667
Mate, if she starts on you,
it's got nothing to do with me.
268
00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:15,067
Heavy, you're here
for fuckin' five minutes--
269
00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:17,467
Hello! -Oh,
Jesus fuckin' Christ, what now?
270
00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:19,100
Hey, man.
- Is the door open or something?
271
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,067
Nah. Rock key.
272
00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:21,667
Okay, that's it. No more rock
key. -Hey.
273
00:09:21,767 --> 00:09:23,633
- Oh, Gordy. Gordy.
- What?
274
00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:24,567
I can't go home.
275
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:25,967
You can't stay here, mate.
We're full.
276
00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,067
Well, can I just hang?
277
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,567
You know, figure out my next
move?
278
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:30,067
Mediation's not gone great.
279
00:09:30,167 --> 00:09:31,800
Yeah, mate, that's because
your "lawyer" is a fuckin'--
280
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:33,133
Hey. Hey, Justin.
281
00:09:33,233 --> 00:09:34,400
Good thanks,
Mother.
282
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:37,133
Mate, I want to help you.
I'll...
283
00:09:37,233 --> 00:09:38,467
- Where is he going?
- Dunno.
284
00:09:38,567 --> 00:09:39,733
No, hang on, mate.
285
00:09:39,833 --> 00:09:40,933
No, no. Oi!
286
00:09:41,033 --> 00:09:42,567
What the fuck?!
Come here, friend.
287
00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:44,500
Is this your en suite, mate?
288
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,700
So, um...
289
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,867
How do you fit into this jigsaw
puzzle, Meggles?
290
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,867
Uh, well, a couple of ways.
291
00:09:55,967 --> 00:09:57,900
Holy shit!
292
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,300
Oh! I love it! I love it!
293
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,233
Yup.
294
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:02,667
Does Andre know?
295
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:04,033
Yeah, of course.
296
00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:05,467
Right. Okay.
297
00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:07,767
So just completely gone off
solids?
298
00:10:07,867 --> 00:10:09,300
- Wow.
- Fuck you're a loser.
299
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,800
- What?
- Heavy, you're a fuckin' loser.
300
00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:12,567
No wonder you always knocked me
back.
301
00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:14,933
Oh, that wasn't the reason, son.
302
00:10:15,033 --> 00:10:15,967
Gross.
303
00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:17,333
Charcuterie?
304
00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:19,933
Whoa! -[Chiara] It's
Wednesday afternoon.
305
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:21,800
- Is it?
- Yeah. It's...
306
00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:22,800
- It's Wednesday.
Yeah, no.
307
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:24,233
I appreciate the presentation.
308
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,233
- We're not gonna...
Yeah.
309
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,833
- That's a hard pass.
- No, thank you, but no.
310
00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:28,567
- One, two, three.
No.
311
00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:33,100
Mmm... Or, unless you guys
are...?
312
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,067
No?
313
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:46,733
Can I say something?
314
00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:48,867
Yeah, speak your truth,
Bretty. -Of course, Bretty.
315
00:10:49,633 --> 00:10:51,300
I think you guys are awesome
together,
316
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,167
and I really think you're
actually made for each other.
317
00:10:54,267 --> 00:10:55,500
Aw, Bretty.
318
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:56,833
It's early days.
319
00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:58,667
- What?
Mm?
320
00:10:58,767 --> 00:10:59,767
What do you mean?
321
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,400
Oh, no. I mean that's so sweet,
Bretty.
322
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,367
Are you not feeling it?
You can be honest.
323
00:11:06,467 --> 00:11:08,200
Meggles, I'm feeling it.
324
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,067
It's just... it's just a lot
325
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:12,533
with Andre and the kids...
326
00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:13,500
It's pretty new.
327
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,267
Yeah, I know. I feel that.
I feel all that.
328
00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:18,467
I... I feel like a homewrecker.
329
00:11:18,567 --> 00:11:19,900
Hey.
330
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,867
You're not a homewrecker.
331
00:11:21,967 --> 00:11:23,733
If anything, I'm the
homewrecker. -
332
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:26,367
No, I'm the one who's breaking
their wedding vows.
333
00:11:26,467 --> 00:11:27,500
Hey.
334
00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:29,500
We're all homewreckers.
335
00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:32,300
Just... in different ways.
336
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,033
Yeah.
337
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,433
You know, that's the mistake I
made.
338
00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:40,267
I got married way too young.
339
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,667
Mm.
- Right?
340
00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,433
Don't get me wrong, I love my
wife and kids, but there's
just...
341
00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:46,267
There's just nothing
going on there anymore.
342
00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:47,500
You know?
343
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,633
Like, the other day,
344
00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:50,300
Katie bent over in her undies.
345
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,900
And I thought, "Revolting."
346
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,500
Whoa. Did you?
You know?
347
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,900
Yeah. I know it's fucked up,
348
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,833
but, see, that's where I'm at.
349
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,300
- Right now. Right?
Right...
350
00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,700
So, what my point is...
351
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,767
Yeah, what is your point?
352
00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:03,533
Is that I'm the fuckup, not
Flashlight. -Yes.
353
00:12:03,633 --> 00:12:05,067
There we go. -Right? That's
what I'm trying to say.
354
00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:06,533
- Good point well made.
- Cool, cool, cool.
355
00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:07,933
Right.
- So, but what was that stuff
356
00:12:08,033 --> 00:12:10,933
that you were saying about
Gordon being stealthy?
357
00:12:11,033 --> 00:12:12,367
Oh, no, it was nothing. It's
nothing.
358
00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:14,900
He's... he's just a charismatic
guy with a couple of moves.
359
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:15,933
Well, what moves?
360
00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:17,300
No, nothing. No moves.
361
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,933
You know me, I don't have...
I got nothing.
362
00:12:19,033 --> 00:12:20,267
- I've got no moves.
- Ah.
363
00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:21,933
- The "I own a brewery."
- Yes.
364
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,567
- That's my one move.
- Yeah, it's a good move.
365
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:26,567
Yeah, well, and the "I'll kiss
you in six minutes" move.
366
00:12:27,367 --> 00:12:28,900
What? What are you
talking about? That's your
fuckin' move.
367
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,300
- What is it?
- It's not really a move.
368
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,700
What is it?
- I don't know.
369
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,000
- Okay, all right. All right.
It's nothing, it's
nothing.
370
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,333
What he'd do,
371
00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:37,200
he used to give chicks a
six-minute warning before he
kissed them.
372
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:38,367
Ah.
373
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,067
- Sounds pretty rapey.
374
00:12:40,167 --> 00:12:41,067
Well, that does.
375
00:12:41,167 --> 00:12:42,300
It was just... it wasn't that.
376
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,333
It was just a fun, flirty thing
I did a couple of times.
377
00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:46,533
Yeah, well, more than a
couple.
378
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,400
It wasn't a move.
379
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,533
- So do the move.
- No.
380
00:12:48,633 --> 00:12:49,600
Do it! Do it, Flash.
- Do it.
381
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:50,800
- I'm not doing the move.
- Do the move.
382
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:51,867
- Why?
Do it.
383
00:12:51,967 --> 00:12:54,200
I want to see the
move. -Don't @ me.
384
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,600
See, if I can't see it,
385
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:58,467
I'm only gonna imagine it's
a form of sexual assault.
386
00:12:58,567 --> 00:13:00,133
It's not a form of sexual
assault!
387
00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:02,400
Okay, fine. Okay, fine, I'll
do it. -Okay.
388
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,033
Okay? Okay, I'll do the
fuckin' move. -[Heavy] Do it.
389
00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:05,367
- Can't wait.
- Jesus.
390
00:13:05,467 --> 00:13:06,467
- Okay, so--
Stand up.
391
00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:07,833
Yeah, do it properly.
Come on, come on, come on.
392
00:13:07,933 --> 00:13:08,900
Okay, fine.
393
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,100
Properly.-Right, okay, so I
get to a party, okay?
394
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,100
And only if I'm feeling a
vibe...
395
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,000
Right.
396
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,533
...I'd say to the girl, "So,
397
00:13:17,633 --> 00:13:20,133
I'm gonna kiss you in six
minutes."
398
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,467
"So, if you have anything
that you wanna do
399
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:22,767
between now and then, be my
guest,
400
00:13:22,867 --> 00:13:24,267
and I'll meet you back here."
401
00:13:24,367 --> 00:13:26,600
- Okay?
402
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,600
I don't know.
That... it's creepy-adjacent.
403
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:35,400
Yeah, well, we're out of
context here and it was years
ago.
404
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:36,700
Yeah, not aged well.
405
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,067
Well, come on, Ash, what about
you? You must have some moves.
406
00:13:39,167 --> 00:13:40,567
Oh, um...
407
00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:43,467
Just one. The... the nipple
flash.
408
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:45,700
Ah! That's a good move.
409
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,067
That's not really a move
though.
410
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,700
That... that just happened one
time.
411
00:13:50,867 --> 00:13:51,800
Did it?
412
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,533
- Didn't it?
- Didn't it?
413
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:55,500
Did it?
- Did it?
414
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,000
Dunno.
415
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:57,933
Didn't it?
416
00:13:58,033 --> 00:13:58,933
Fuck no.
417
00:13:59,033 --> 00:14:00,933
I did it all through my
twenties.
418
00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:02,900
Got free drinks, whatever.
It's...
419
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,500
Friends would say
it's my signature move.
420
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:05,500
- Yeah.
Wow.
421
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,667
Smart. Clever girl.
422
00:14:06,767 --> 00:14:07,567
Thrifty.
423
00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:08,567
Thank you.
424
00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:10,167
Well, come on. Come on. Do the
move.
425
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:11,467
No! Fuck no.
426
00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:13,500
No, no, it's... fair's
fair. She's gotta do the move.
427
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,100
You did your move.
Now she's gotta do her move.
428
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,167
- No!
Fair's fair.
429
00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:17,633
- Fair is not fair.
Fair is fair.
430
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:19,767
She's not-- You're not doing
the move. -[Ashley] Why not?
431
00:14:19,867 --> 00:14:21,000
Okay.
- Because...
432
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,133
Because... because...
433
00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:23,733
* Because, because
434
00:14:23,833 --> 00:14:25,800
♪ Because of the wonderful
Tits she has ♪
435
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,433
♪ Ba-diddily-diddily-dun
436
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,767
- That was good.
- Ridiculous.
437
00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:29,733
- Give it to me.
Yeah?
438
00:14:29,833 --> 00:14:31,467
All right,
don't leave me hanging.
439
00:14:31,567 --> 00:14:33,433
I'm not gonna do the move.
440
00:14:33,533 --> 00:14:34,433
Obviously.
441
00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:36,133
Oh, boo!
- Not boo!
442
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:37,667
- I'm gonna get some drinks.
- Shut it down.
443
00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:40,300
Ah, do you mind getting us some
beers? Hey, sweetheart?
444
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,367
- Yeah.
Yeah.
445
00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:42,867
Meep.
446
00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:45,167
Whoa!
447
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,700
- Wow.
- No, not wow.
448
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:48,867
She's fun.
449
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,300
That's in there.
450
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,567
No, it's not.
451
00:14:51,667 --> 00:14:53,567
That is in there.
452
00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:54,700
- No, it's not in there.
Oh?
453
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,100
- Get it out.
- It's deep in the bank, mate.
454
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,933
Well, take it out of
the bank. -Deposit made.
455
00:14:58,033 --> 00:14:59,833
- It's a withdrawal, mate.
- That's a term deposit.
456
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,133
No, fuckin' close the account,
457
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,733
we're kicking you out of the
bank, we're closing your
account.
458
00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:04,100
Fuck, I'm glad you're here.
459
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,533
And that's what I feel
sometimes.
460
00:15:12,633 --> 00:15:14,267
Like, I like you so much,
461
00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:17,233
but sometimes, I feel that
you're not as into me
462
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,333
as much as I'm into you.
463
00:15:18,433 --> 00:15:19,867
Is that too intense?
464
00:15:19,967 --> 00:15:21,533
No, it's so good. It's so good.
465
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:22,767
Meggles.
466
00:15:22,867 --> 00:15:25,167
You are so beautiful.
467
00:15:25,267 --> 00:15:26,333
No, you are.
468
00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:29,467
And I'm so grateful
for you being there for me.
469
00:15:29,567 --> 00:15:33,733
It's just I don't know if I'm
quite ready for the full thing.
470
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:34,633
And you're the full thing.
471
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,733
Okay, is the door still open to
Andre?
472
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:37,667
Mm.
473
00:15:37,767 --> 00:15:38,967
I don't know.
474
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:40,467
No, I don't think so.
475
00:15:40,567 --> 00:15:41,533
But...
476
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,600
Baby, is this hard for you to
hear?
477
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:44,533
Nup.
478
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000
You know what? It's...
It's not, actually.
479
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:49,900
Because you've taught me
so much about myself.
480
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,700
And you have taught me
so much about myself.
481
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,800
You know, this is some evolved
shit.
482
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,967
- Women are amazing.
Mm.
483
00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:59,733
And you're amazing, Bretty.
484
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,433
Mm, we are. We are all amazing.
485
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,167
We should hang out more.
486
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:07,200
Oh, we really should.
Yes! Yes!
487
00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:10,867
Oh, good on you, Ash.
488
00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:12,733
Who's ready?
489
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:15,300
Thank you.
490
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,900
No worries.
491
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,433
- That one's for you.
- Ta.
492
00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:20,233
Mm.
- Cheers.
493
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,967
- Cheers.
Cheers.
494
00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:22,967
- Bottom's up.
Yup.
495
00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:25,400
Mm.
496
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,500
What is that?
497
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,567
What is that?
498
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,800
Ah, you don't recognise her?
499
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:32,333
No, I do. She's definitely one
of mine.
500
00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:33,567
She is, correct.
501
00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:36,233
Ah... it's a creamy.
502
00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:38,267
- Mm-hmm.
- It's like... it's like...
503
00:16:38,367 --> 00:16:40,267
It's like, it's...
it's almost like, ah...
504
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,700
Like Cathy.
505
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,100
Like Cathy Cream Your Jeans
Ale.
506
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,200
- Is this Cathy?
- Yeah.
507
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,067
- I've only got one of her.
I know.
508
00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:50,100
Enjoy.
509
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,967
Ash, what the...?!
510
00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:54,733
Ash, this is a very exclusive
beer run.
511
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:56,133
- Yeah.
- Why did... why have you...?
512
00:16:56,233 --> 00:16:57,267
Oh, why, why?
513
00:16:57,367 --> 00:16:59,667
Why did you name beers after
girls you've slept with
514
00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:00,967
and then keep them in your
closet?
515
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,600
Bit off, isn't it?
516
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,700
So, who have I got? -Oh,
you've got Melanie's Melons
IPA.
517
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,800
Oh, I remember her.
518
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:10,600
Ash, it's not about the girls,
it's about the beer.
519
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,867
But it isn't about the beer, is
it?
520
00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:14,400
Because you're not drinking
them, so they're just trophies.
521
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,800
No, no, no, they're not
trophies.
522
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,133
Did you sleep with them?
523
00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:18,867
- All of them.
524
00:17:18,967 --> 00:17:19,933
Is that a problem?
525
00:17:20,033 --> 00:17:21,333
Only if you can't let them go.
526
00:17:21,433 --> 00:17:23,533
Of course I can let them go.
527
00:17:23,633 --> 00:17:25,300
Then great, cheers, drink up, everybody.
528
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,467
No, no, no!
529
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:31,000
No, Ash, Ash. I created these
beers years ago, right,
530
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,533
in response to where I was at
in my life at that time.
531
00:17:33,633 --> 00:17:35,033
These mean something to me.
532
00:17:35,133 --> 00:17:38,467
It's like, oh, should Leonard
Cohen have deleted "So Long
Marianne"
533
00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,000
when he started seeing Suzanne?
534
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:43,233
You're not Leonard Cohen,
Gordon. -You're missing my
point.
535
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:44,467
Fine. Whatever. You know what?
536
00:17:44,567 --> 00:17:46,200
If they bother you so much,
I'll just take them to work.
537
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,200
And speaking of work,
538
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,867
"Chiara's Cans."
539
00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:51,533
"Way more than a mouthful."
540
00:17:51,633 --> 00:17:52,733
Classy, mate.
541
00:17:52,833 --> 00:17:53,633
Mm!
542
00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:55,233
Yum.
543
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,333
That's not on, mate.
Disappointing.
544
00:17:58,433 --> 00:17:59,500
Heavy.
545
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,633
On behalf of the Crapp family,
I'd like to apologise.
546
00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:04,067
Shut up, mate.
547
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:13,900
I'm so sorry...
548
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:17,300
So sorry we domesticated you.
549
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,667
Okay.
550
00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:28,467
Ballpark, what am I dealing
with here?
551
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:30,000
What is your number?
552
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,133
- What?
-"What"?
553
00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:32,667
How many people have you slept
with?
554
00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:34,200
Oh, shit, here we go.
555
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:35,433
I'll go first.
556
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:36,933
Nine.
557
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,700
Oh, this year? Less than nine.
558
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,733
No, Gordon. My whole life.
559
00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:41,867
Oh.
560
00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:43,567
Oh, well, you're setting me up
to fail.
561
00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:45,133
This is quality.
562
00:18:45,233 --> 00:18:46,433
Quiet, Heavy.
Don't.
563
00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:49,900
Ash, I-- I lost my virginity
when I was 16.
564
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:50,967
So?
565
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:53,133
- Twenty?
566
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,567
Not saying anything.
567
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:57,867
- Fifty?
- Oh... I run a bar, Ash.
568
00:18:57,967 --> 00:18:59,200
Okay. Seventy-five?
569
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:00,333
- Getting warmer.
- Heavy!
570
00:19:00,433 --> 00:19:02,433
- Shut the fuck up!
- Don't look at him.
571
00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:04,333
- I want you to look at me.
- Yeah, I am.
572
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,067
One hundred?
573
00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:08,367
Oh, who keeps track?
574
00:19:08,467 --> 00:19:09,967
More than 100 women?!
575
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:12,000
And that's a magnificent
hundred!
576
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:14,333
No, no, no. No more than a
hundred.
577
00:19:14,433 --> 00:19:16,000
- Are you sure?
Yes, I am.
578
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,933
Oh, look, I don't know the
exact number 'cause I'm not a
serial killer,
579
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:22,933
but, but definitely
no more than... than...
580
00:19:23,033 --> 00:19:23,967
a hundred.
581
00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:25,333
A hundred... hundred women.
582
00:19:26,467 --> 00:19:27,767
I don't even know who you are
anymore.
583
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,000
- Yes, you do. Ash. Ash...
This is wild.
584
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:32,833
This is... oh my God, this
isn't...
585
00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:34,833
You know what? Let's do the
maths. Let's do the maths.
586
00:19:34,933 --> 00:19:36,200
Oh, please. -[Gordon] No, no,
no, let's do it.
587
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,067
Because I'm
42 now, right? Okay?
588
00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,433
I lost my virginity when I was
16.
589
00:19:39,533 --> 00:19:44,167
So, 42 minus 16, okay, is 26
years sexually active, right?
590
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:47,433
And then 100 divided by 26
is...
591
00:19:47,533 --> 00:19:48,767
3.84!
592
00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:49,867
- Mm.
Okay?
593
00:19:49,967 --> 00:19:51,467
Mm, that's actually pretty low.
594
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:56,000
Yeah. 3.84 women per annum
doth not a prowler make.
595
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,367
That's, like, less than one a
season.
596
00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:01,167
But it does add up,
though, doesn't it?
597
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,233
It's probably time
to start settling down, mate.
598
00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:05,133
Oh, should I,
mate? Oh, okay, mate.
599
00:20:05,233 --> 00:20:06,800
I don't think I'll take
relationship advice
600
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:11,400
from a guy who's definitely
paying for sex in Vegas this
weekend definitely.
601
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,500
Hey!
602
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,033
That's a fuckin' low blow, bro.
It's a conference.
603
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,233
Penis conference.
604
00:20:18,333 --> 00:20:19,200
- Hey!
Yeah?
605
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,333
I like to fuckin' joke around,
all right?
606
00:20:21,433 --> 00:20:23,233
But you know Katie is my life.
607
00:20:23,333 --> 00:20:24,333
All right?
608
00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:27,400
I'd take a fuckin' bullet
for that woman.
609
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,600
All right, I'm sorry.
Just leave it. Just leave it.
610
00:20:30,167 --> 00:20:33,400
Hey, back on Melanie's Melons,
I've seen your cans
611
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,533
and they're much nicer
shape-wise.
612
00:20:35,633 --> 00:20:37,433
- Stop it!
Well, it's true!
613
00:20:37,533 --> 00:20:39,067
Just say something nice
about your girlfriend.
614
00:20:39,167 --> 00:20:40,600
Girls like that, all right?
615
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:43,667
Thank you, Heavy.
616
00:20:43,767 --> 00:20:45,700
That's all right. Gordon.
617
00:21:09,533 --> 00:21:11,133
♪ Hey, baby
618
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,933
♪ Oh, what a world you're
gonna see ♪
619
00:21:19,433 --> 00:21:22,633
♪ Joyrides in flying cars...
♪
620
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,467
Okay, yeah. I'm coming now.
621
00:21:33,867 --> 00:21:35,300
All right, all right,
all right.
622
00:21:37,833 --> 00:21:39,700
Oh, whoa, Andre.
623
00:21:40,267 --> 00:21:41,367
Is Chiara here?
624
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,667
Uh, Chiara...
625
00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:44,200
- Oh, no. No.
- Okay.
626
00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:45,167
I know she's here.
627
00:21:45,267 --> 00:21:46,767
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's right.
628
00:21:46,867 --> 00:21:48,100
Yeah, hey, Chi?
629
00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:51,233
Chiara!
630
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,533
God.
Good morning.
631
00:21:54,633 --> 00:21:55,500
What time is it?
632
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,200
Ten past nine
633
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:58,633
on Ernie's birthday.
634
00:21:58,733 --> 00:22:01,867
Oh my God! Ernie! Happy birth--
635
00:22:01,967 --> 00:22:03,867
No, no, no, no, no. Not "happy
birthday, Ernie", is it?
636
00:22:03,967 --> 00:22:06,700
'Cause his mum's been
fuck knows where doing...
637
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,167
Well, what were you doing
last night, Chi?
638
00:22:08,267 --> 00:22:11,233
Because there is a naked person
over on the couch over here.
639
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:12,933
Oh!
640
00:22:13,033 --> 00:22:14,233
I don't know who that is.
641
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,700
Are you going to come back to
your actual life at some point?
642
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,533
-[Andre] You're
perimenopausal, Chi!
643
00:22:19,633 --> 00:22:21,367
You're not some kid
kicking around in your twenties
644
00:22:21,467 --> 00:22:22,333
trying to figure out your--
645
00:22:32,167 --> 00:22:33,633
You're already meant
to have done that
646
00:22:33,733 --> 00:22:35,133
and made a decision, which you
did,
647
00:22:35,233 --> 00:22:38,067
and now you have a family.
648
00:22:38,167 --> 00:22:41,867
But should we just all just
disappear now because
649
00:22:41,967 --> 00:22:44,167
you have a girlfriend?
650
00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:48,700
We had a birthday dinner for
Ernie last night and it was
really great.
651
00:22:49,367 --> 00:22:50,267
And I gave him his bike.
652
00:22:50,367 --> 00:22:51,133
That was actually from both--
653
00:22:51,233 --> 00:22:52,400
And he can tell you all about
it
654
00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:54,433
because your week with him
started an hour ago,
655
00:22:54,533 --> 00:22:56,567
and now I'm late for my
voiceover.
656
00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:58,567
And great, I've been yelling.
657
00:23:00,033 --> 00:23:01,033
Goodbye.
658
00:23:01,133 --> 00:23:02,267
And Chi?
659
00:23:02,367 --> 00:23:03,400
Could you tell Gordon
660
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:08,200
I've always thought he was
an absolute cock!
661
00:23:10,967 --> 00:23:12,133
Hey, guys!
662
00:23:18,333 --> 00:23:20,267
So, I've been thinking,
663
00:23:20,367 --> 00:23:22,367
both as a doctor and as your
girlfriend,
664
00:23:22,467 --> 00:23:23,467
um,
665
00:23:23,567 --> 00:23:25,733
I'm gonna need you to get
a sexual health checkup
666
00:23:25,833 --> 00:23:26,967
as soon as you can.
667
00:23:27,867 --> 00:23:29,167
Are you joking?
668
00:23:29,267 --> 00:23:31,033
It's not unreasonable.
669
00:23:31,133 --> 00:23:33,067
Gordon, when was the last time
you got a checkup?
670
00:23:34,733 --> 00:23:35,900
Ash, I get regular checkups.
671
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,633
But when? When was the last
time?
672
00:23:37,733 --> 00:23:39,000
Oh, um...
673
00:23:39,100 --> 00:23:40,333
Um...?
674
00:23:40,433 --> 00:23:43,000
Right. So, probably time to get
a...
675
00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,467
a thorough check.
676
00:23:45,733 --> 00:23:46,700
Yeah. Okay. Yep.
677
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,600
- That's fair enough.
- Thank you.
678
00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:50,467
And you'll start seeing
a therapist, will you?
679
00:23:52,233 --> 00:23:53,233
What?
680
00:23:53,333 --> 00:23:55,867
About the nipple-flashing
male-attention thing?
681
00:23:56,467 --> 00:23:58,200
- Excuse me?
- Just asking the question.
682
00:23:59,567 --> 00:24:01,533
That's not the same thing.
683
00:24:01,633 --> 00:24:06,200
That is not okay to ask me that
at all.
684
00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:08,733
Right, so you can ask me
to get a raft of tests,
685
00:24:08,833 --> 00:24:11,000
but I can't ask you
to look at your thing.
686
00:24:11,833 --> 00:24:14,900
Your sexual health affects me
directly.
687
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,433
And your mental health
doesn't affect me directly?
688
00:24:17,533 --> 00:24:19,100
it does!
689
00:24:21,533 --> 00:24:22,567
What, we can't talk about it?
690
00:24:22,667 --> 00:24:23,867
Ugh!
691
00:24:25,300 --> 00:24:26,633
Yep. We can talk about it.
692
00:24:26,733 --> 00:24:28,700
And hey, how about while I'm
there,
693
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,233
I'll unpack how it's pretty
hard to feel special
694
00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:35,133
with a guy who has slept with
at least 100 women!
695
00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:39,400
- Ugh!
- Ah, 3.84. But anyway.
696
00:24:41,767 --> 00:24:44,867
You talk about how it might be
time to grow up, yeah?
697
00:24:44,967 --> 00:24:46,567
How about you take your own
advice,
698
00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:47,967
stop being so selfish,
699
00:24:48,067 --> 00:24:49,967
and just get the fucking
checkup!
700
00:25:14,433 --> 00:25:16,500
♪ Oh
701
00:25:17,967 --> 00:25:20,833
♪ I've heard it said before
702
00:25:20,933 --> 00:25:27,200
♪ That youth is like a
hallway To a door ♪
703
00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:32,033
♪ I burst through it
704
00:25:32,133 --> 00:25:35,133
♪ Wild seeds in the ground
705
00:25:35,233 --> 00:25:41,933
♪ I threw them all around
With blind abandon... ♪
706
00:25:42,033 --> 00:25:44,633
Ash, I need your help
with a patient in Bed 5.
707
00:25:44,733 --> 00:25:45,733
No, I've gotta do something--
708
00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:47,567
No, I covered you
with the weird guy's toenails.
709
00:25:47,667 --> 00:25:48,833
You owe me.
710
00:25:48,933 --> 00:25:50,000
Come on.
711
00:25:50,767 --> 00:25:52,133
Oh, fuck. Quickly.
712
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:57,867
I should probably warn you,
this guy's pretty handsy.
713
00:25:57,967 --> 00:25:59,433
No, what?
714
00:26:02,633 --> 00:26:05,667
Now, he wouldn't tell me
exactly what he did, rude,
715
00:26:05,767 --> 00:26:07,800
but he clearly fucked up
716
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,933
and he seems to be repentant, so.
717
00:26:11,033 --> 00:26:12,200
Does he now?
718
00:26:17,733 --> 00:26:18,700
What are you doing?
719
00:26:19,267 --> 00:26:21,933
Ash, the fact that you feel
anything less
720
00:26:22,033 --> 00:26:23,733
than the most special thing to
me
721
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,367
is 100% my fault
722
00:26:25,467 --> 00:26:28,700
because I've honestly never
felt about anyone
723
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:29,967
the way I feel about you.
724
00:26:31,767 --> 00:26:33,067
- Really?
Really.
725
00:26:33,167 --> 00:26:36,400
And if they had of sold a, "I'm
a big old dickhead" balloon...
726
00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:39,167
"I'm a big old dickhead that's
slept with too many women."
727
00:26:39,267 --> 00:26:40,500
Yes! I would have got that one.
728
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,767
But they said it was just too
much text.
729
00:26:44,033 --> 00:26:45,233
So, that... that's all that I
got.
730
00:26:45,633 --> 00:26:47,700
It's probably not appropriate
for a hospital anyway.
731
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,300
That's what they said.
732
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:50,367
I'm sorry.
733
00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:52,800
I'm really sorry.
734
00:26:55,867 --> 00:26:59,267
Ugh, I really wanted to stay
angry.
735
00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:00,533
Ugh, I get that.
736
00:27:00,633 --> 00:27:02,633
No, I was... I was powerfully
angry.
737
00:27:02,733 --> 00:27:05,200
Like, I was getting a lot done.
738
00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:06,300
- Were ya?
- Yeah.
739
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:07,867
I'm so sorry.
740
00:27:07,967 --> 00:27:10,000
And I am so sorry.
741
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:20,933
You are an idiot.
742
00:27:21,033 --> 00:27:22,933
Yeah, I know.
743
00:27:23,033 --> 00:27:24,800
But, an idiot
with flowers and a balloon.
744
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:27,433
This is amazing.
- It's a boy.
745
00:27:28,467 --> 00:27:30,000
And I've...
I've got to get back to work.
746
00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:31,667
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you
mean?
747
00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:33,967
I came here for a sexual health
check.
748
00:27:34,067 --> 00:27:35,233
- No, I... well...
- Yeah.
749
00:27:35,333 --> 00:27:36,367
Gene said.
750
00:27:36,467 --> 00:27:38,233
- Did he?
- He said you were the best.
751
00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:39,367
Oh, I'm pretty good.
752
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,000
I'm sure you are. However, I
would like to get a third party
in here
753
00:27:42,100 --> 00:27:43,633
because I don't feel
completely comfortable
754
00:27:43,733 --> 00:27:45,500
being alone in a cubicle with
you.
755
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,033
Oh, you'll be right, mate.
756
00:27:47,133 --> 00:27:48,167
Done plenty of these.
757
00:27:48,267 --> 00:27:49,133
Oh...
758
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,000
I don't know. This
is... -[Ashley] No, no.
759
00:27:52,100 --> 00:27:53,533
Drop your dacks.
760
00:27:53,633 --> 00:27:56,433
Have you seen, ah, the
TV show Embarrassing Bodies?
761
00:27:56,533 --> 00:27:57,800
No.
762
00:27:57,900 --> 00:27:59,267
Check it out. All
right, I'll be the patient, all
right?
763
00:27:59,367 --> 00:28:00,367
- You be... you just say...
Okay.
764
00:28:00,467 --> 00:28:01,600
What's going...
What can I look at?
765
00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:03,133
What can I help you with, love?
766
00:28:03,233 --> 00:28:05,100
Um,
well, I've actually got a
little sort of--
767
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,000
I've been ashamed of it for 58
years, but I was never...
768
00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:09,333
never wanted to come
to my doctor about it,
769
00:28:09,433 --> 00:28:10,667
so I thought I'd come on
national tele--
770
00:28:10,767 --> 00:28:12,367
international television
771
00:28:12,467 --> 00:28:13,767
and shave a pustule.
772
00:28:13,867 --> 00:28:15,567
I've got some pustules here if
you...
773
00:28:15,667 --> 00:28:18,667
Ooh, if you get me to squeeze
them, they all come out
everywhere.
774
00:28:18,767 --> 00:28:21,133
See? Ooh, it hurts a bit!
775
00:28:21,233 --> 00:28:22,600
But I don't mind it as well.
776
00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:24,033
What's... what's wrong with me?
777
00:28:24,133 --> 00:28:25,833
All right,
sign this form for clearance.
778
00:28:25,933 --> 00:28:26,967
All right.
779
00:28:27,067 --> 00:28:28,700
But this is all free, yeah?
54230
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