All language subtitles for welcome.to.borovia.2026.1080p.webrip.x264.aac-_yts.gg_-_yts.bz

Valeria, where is the hammer? Where it
always is.

On the floor.

Is this the best you can do?

You think we can win election with this?

How many jobs did the Minister of
Finance create last year?

Or do I need to tell you? There are so
many people now.

They keep having children.

And they don't die quickly enough. But
they do vote. All of them.

Olga, how kind of you to join us. The
steering wheel of the bus came off in

the driver's hand.

I thought you had solved this problem.
Yes, I decreed all buses to carry...

Spare steering wheel. But factory is a
little behind.

We are short of wood.

My report, Mr. President.

Did nobody read it?

I spent whole weekend writing out six
copies by hand because

printer was not working and none of you
bothered.

Your handwriting is very difficult to
read. And there was a lot of it.

What is the point of minister of human
rights if there are no human rights? You

will dedicate an entire meeting to your
constitutional proposals.

We all look forward to reading this.
Totally, of course.

Sorry I'm late.

My bicycle chain disintegrated. It's
Vladimir.

You're a very comfortable chair.

I have the best chair because I'm
minister of the month.

You are always minister of the month.
Because I always win the vote.

It's true. You always get seven votes.

There are only six of us.

And I've never voted for you.

Has anybody?

It is a secret ballot. He is our
minister for elections.

How can he win an election for us if he
cannot win one for himself?

I have a very simple idea.

We reduce the working day to four hours
with no loss of pay. It will bankrupt

us. Even you should know that. No.

Because we decimalize the clock system
at the same time. We go to ten hours

from twenty-four.

Popo, Kazimir asked me to make a
mock-up.

See? The day looks much shorter. The
people will be very happy. But if they

have to work four hours out of the five
instead of eight hours out of the

twelve, they will be working for longer
hours, not for shorter hours. They will

rejoice. They will only understand that
they are working for half as many hours.

They're not very good at...

You cannot treat the Peruvian people as
idiots.

No? Then why did they vote for us last
time if they are not?

Come.

So slow you've made the hire. Have a
seat.

Who's he?

Oh, I'm Peter Sokolov. He is new special
advisor.

Special advisor?

Why do we need a special advisor? You
have a lot of work.

Precisely, Kazimir.

You are most welcome.

I am Patronika Kaminsky, the Minister of
Foreign Affairs, and this is the

Minister of... Wait a minute, please. He
will get to know everyone soon enough,

as has been my misfortune.

Your idea, please. Of course.

When I received a call from an
employment agency, I spoke to my wife.

Matrashka, this coffee is cold.

I regret that the machine is not working
properly, Mr. President.

It does not heat up.

But I heard it boiling.

I put it in for repair 15 months ago,
so...

The repairman will be here very soon.

Never mind.

Sokolov, you were saying? Well, it is
all tied in with the Uzhgorod.

Oh, my sister has a cabin in the
mountains in Uzhgorod. The mountains

there are so much prettier than the
Barovian mountains.

Much higher.

Real mountains.

Oh, everything's so clean and the trains
have no rust. It is true. The wheels do

not squeak.

I was there with a very special... I am
well aware Uzhgorod has everything we

have not. Will any comparison with
Uzhgorod persuade our citizens to walk

joyfully into election booths next
month?

Matryoshka, you do not need to bring
cold coffee anymore. No one will drink

it. Oh, very well, Mr. President.

Thank you. Please continue.

I'm sorry, I think I have a wrong place.
I'm looking for cabinet room.

This is cabinet room.

Oh, I think it's place where they keep
cabinet, not people.

Stupid workman.

I understand now.

You were on the television before it
broke down.

You are President Tapano, although you
look younger in picture.

My wife is the same. Any picture of her,
make her look old. She'd tear up and

throw in fire.

I never have picture of me with
President.

I am Ivan Stakovich.

So pleased to meet you.

You don't mind photo?

I vote for you next time, I promise. As
a true man of the people, the President

would be delighted to have this photo.
Just take it, Popov.

Could you smile a little bit, Mr.
President? You have a very good job.

What is there not to smile about?

It's good? I think so.

Can't tell till it is developed.

You want a group photo, everybody?

No, no group photo.

You carry on with whatever you're
carrying on with. I just here to fix

coffee machines.

Can you not come back later to do this?

Yes, of course.

Ah,

is 20th of May good for you?

20th of May was yesterday.

Yes, of course. It is impossible.

No, 20th of May next year we have
cancellation at 3.

A year?

Yes, cancellation make it very quick.
You are lucky.

I book it in, yes?

Okay, do it quick and do it quiet.

Not a problem. I work like little now.

I know the machine.

Latest hybrid model. Both clockwork and
electric.

So, Kunov, you are saying... Yes.

The squadron has appointed new envoy.

Inexperienced. Wet behind the ears.

Perhaps you are related.

My plan is in five stages.

One, we invite him here on an official
visit. Why would he want to come to

Borovia? There have been state visits
before.

There was one 27 years ago.

There is your problem. Somebody has come
once, they never want to come again.

I can offer him tour of our factory.

Thank you, Popov. That will make him
truly ecstatic.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but I
accidentally overheard that the lady

minister there said she had a sister
from Uzhgorod. And?

Is she pretty?

She is my identical twin.

You are not suggesting we stoop to those
levels? We will not have to stoop to

anything. My sister knows everybody who
is anybody in Uzhgorod.

They are very proud of their beards. And
she knows how to compliment them in just

the right way.

If you could find a way to persuade this
new envoy to come here, I'm sure.

Good. And what is stage two, Sokolov?
This is very fast to get extremely

clever.

Sorry.

No, I have not forgotten. I will pick
them up on the way home. I'm still

working.

Oh, I told you, that is over.

You cannot call me every ten minutes. I
can never finish.

I am working. I am fixing the coffee
machine for the president.

Please, speak to my wife. She does not
believe me since that flower girl.

Hello, how are you?

No, it is not his little waitress
imitating the voice of president. I

assure you, it is the president himself.

Okay, I will do this for you, but all I
really want is my coffee machine mended.

No, and I trust I can count on your vote
in it.

Is it flower girl or waitress?

She gets upset with all of them, has no
understanding.

She says she will not speak to you until
she sees photo.

Mobile telephone is a curse.

Always she wants to know who is calling
me.

You know, next year we bring a push
button model.

Push button? I have prototype here.

Buttons do not work yet. Our head of
design, Mikhail, he fell off our new

prototype ladder. But, um... Enough of
your stupid phone. Show it to us when it

works. With respect, Mr. President, it's
not stupid.

It's really clever.

It will not win us the election, but
maybe shocker of will. Please continue.

So, stage two, when he's here, we... Who
is this? No mobile phones in meetings.

How many times...

It is me.

Leave it.

Oh, it is my wife. No more reason to
leave it. I cannot.

It can only be for one reason.

Sorry.

It is Ted's message from the hospital.

I think she must have gone into labor.

I must go.

No, you have to stay and tell us your
plans.

When I come back.

Leave your notes.

Oh, I don't understand why it's not...
It's not... It's with... You'll meet

Krobar.

You have Krobar?

No, we're only issued with hammers.
Maybe next year we get COVID.

We'll be.

I will do that.

Petrodica, please call your sister. I
get her complimenting the envoy's beard

as quickly as possible.

I cannot call her. She does not have a
mobile signal in the mountain. We have a

pigeon. A pigeon?

Yes. I will attach a message to its
little egg, and by tomorrow, my sister

will be reading it. How do you know it
will get there? Oh, it's a curistani

pigeon. Very reliable.

It is true.

We did have a Barovian pigeon before,
but it kept getting lost.

In the end, I gave it to my grandma to
put in a pie.

To its credit, it was very delicious.

Go now and do whatever you have to do to
your pigeon.

Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt.

Does anyone have a scooter? Oh, I have
one.

You have screwdrivers in your handbag?

It belonged to my grandfather.

It was very special to him.

When he... Never mind your grandfather.

He'll be preaching to go off to your
sister's with.

But, Raskin, do you need to push this
heavy and extremely noisy machine around

the ministry every day since it does not
suck?

Oh, it has been my job description, Mr.
President, and it only stopped sucking

12 years ago, and during that time I
have got very used to it.

I tell you what I do. I speak to Mr.
Popov personally and see if I can get

brand new, very quiet machine for you.
Oh, no.

Those modern machines are made of very
thin material. One to two weeks and they

are broken.

I have had this 37 years and it has
never broken down once.

I turn it on, the motor goes round, and
there we are. No smoke.

So reliable.

With respect, Mr. President, I have
three more floors to clean and all the

rubbish bins to put out. Would you
excuse me?

Yes, of course. Thank you, Mr.
President.

Yes, I think we can win over the
president when he sees your very clever

new phone working, Mikhail.

Yes, you must get yourself and all your
broken bones out of hospital today.

Huh? No wheelchair?

My grandmother has one.

Yeah, she can stay in bed for a couple
of weeks.

Just get here.

Hello?

No, I am not Miss Kaminsky. I am Popov.

I think if you try extension for
Larovich-Barovsky, that will get you

through to Miss Kaminsky.

Yes? No. She is here. Patronica.

For you.

Hello?

What?

When?

Oh, my God.

The envoy from Uzhgorod who was supposed
to be coming next week is coming today.

Or did your sister tell him?

I don't know.

Perhaps he had some very persuasive
compliments about his beard.

Kazimir! The envoy is coming today.

No. Next week. He's coming today. I just
got the message.

But the train is not fixed.

Factory promised new wheels by Monday.
He's coming by car.

He has a car? That works?

Yes. He's as good as Stanis. They are so
lucky. Not lucky.

They are competent.

And his finance means, who knows, the
money should be spent.

It is my job to look after the finances
of... Ugh, yourself.

You think they have not seen your boat
in lake?

Your boat?

I want some money.

On the lottery.

Sorry to correct you, Casimir, but as
you well know, there are no winners of

the lottery. No winners?

But I see happy faces in newspapers with
lots of people holding money and happy

children. Well, we have to give hope, or
nobody will buy.

But to give actual prizes is far too
expensive.

I buy tickets every week.

Three of them.

Well, that's good.

If you don't buy tickets, you've got no
chance at all.

Maybe sometimes you get lucky, like
Casablanca with his bow.

Where is the envoy going to stay?

The Imperial.

The Imperial?

It has no bathrooms.

Of course it does. It is five stars.

It has one in the basement.

With no water.

My sister came to stay there. She did
not want even her pigeon to go in.

She brought her pigeon?

In case she has no mobile signal, she
takes it everywhere. There is something

I need to... Are you all right?

Yes.

What is the big piece of wood doing in
the middle of the floor for everybody to

trip over?

They did not trip.

But I did.

It is there the property door opened.
There is no handle on the inside.

If it closes, I cannot open it. Are you
not the Minister of Supplies? Can you

not supply yourself with a new handle?

There are no handles.

Call reception.

Mr. President, you issued instructions
that everybody should leave their mobile

inbox at reception so they could not go
off during meetings.

And you were greatly displeased when it
came in last time.

And you did this?

All of you?

Yes. For the first time ever, you obey
my instructions, and it has to be now.

Well, don't have your own mobile?

Yes, in my office, and not in reception
in some stupid box.

I have to be ready for the envoy. You
said he was coming next week. Ah, I will

explain later. Now, please, can none of
you clever male ministers open a door?

Shush, shush.

Listen.

Matryoshka!

Matryoshka!

So Popov, perhaps if you get Matryoshka
a new vacuum cleaner that is a little

quieter, she will be able to hear us
shout every time we are locked in your

office with no handle.

Mr. Popov, I come to enter your waste
bin.

Matryoshka! I can come back another
time, if you like.

No, no. We are stuck in here. You must
open door from your side.

Oh, very well, Mr. Popov.

The handle will not turn. The handle is
stuck.

The handle is stuck, and you knew this?

Yes. I tried to oil it, but there was no
oil in the tin. It's no problem.

Matryoshka, under handle.

It's key.

I see it, Mr. Popoff.

The key is in the lock on outside?

Yes. It has always been there, ever
since I put in. It cannot pull out. So,

anyone can come in when you're not here
and take anything.

What would anyone take from here?

They took the handle. Do you wish me to
turn the key? If possible, that would be

good. Yes, thank you. Why should it not
be possible?

Yes, if you have a long piece of metal
like a screwdriver or a pen, then put

through head, okay, you have leverage.

No, I do not have a pen.

Or a screwdriver.

Oh, I look in my bank, see if someone
has thrown one away.

Yes, please, do that.

Hmm.

I just be a moment.

Take your time.

It has to be... Ready for the envoy.

Can three strong men can't open a door?

Two strong men and Popov.

Do not be disheartened. I will lighten
the atmosphere with a joke.

How many ministers does it take to kick
down a door? No, please, do not do that.

I do not want an office with no door.

It's a joke, Popov.

You have to wait for the punchline.

We do not want to hear your stupid joke.

It's a very good joke. Very funny
punchline.

I must confess, each time I tell it,
still, I cannot stop.

What is wrong with you people?

I was winner of departmental joke of the
year competition.

You was a judge.

Of course. I am the minister.

I regret there is no pen and no
screwdriver.

There are only papers with top secret
not to be read by

any unauthorized person.

Top secret? Who has been putting top
secret papers in the bin? They are

supposed to be shredded.

Matryoshka, where are these top secret
papers from?

I have only emptied one waste bin so far
this morning, Mr. President, and

naturally I emptied yours first.

Yes, well, this was a temporary measure
since my shredder needs to be fixed.

I put one piece of paper in and boom,
puff of smoke. Everything goes to a

grinding halt and finish.

It says on the label, seven pieces.

Excuse me, Mr. President.

Yes, Matrashka. I managed to get into
the rubbish bin, but now I cannot pull

myself out because my arms are not as
strong as they used to be.

We waited for you to come along, and now
you will have to wait for someone else

to come along.

I wonder, Mr. President, if I can sit
down.

I will not take a tea break for the rest
of the day to make up my time.

Yes, Miss Trushka, you may sit.

Oh.

Ah.

We might as well all sit forever.

Not you, Popov. You stand in the corner.

Yes, Mr. President.

Matrasta? It is not Matrasta. I am
Sokolov.

Sokolov, open this door.

A moment, Mr. President.

Oh, Mr.

Sokolov. I have got all the rubbish to
collect, and I am so behind, and I feel

so guilty.

Oh, you have to use this bench?

Yes. Oh, but it's very heavy.

I push it every two years, and every 27
years, I get used to it.

You've been here 27 years, haven't you?

No, 57.

Then I used to have to collect the
rubbish in a little cardboard box, going

up and down, up and down, 50, 60 times.

But then the ministry gave me this.

But it looked like nothing.

This was a present to the Borovian
people from the president of Oskaristan

when he came on his state visit. And
then when he left, the ministry gave it

to me.

Never have I got such a beautiful
present.

The people here are so kind to me.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Dr. Love, what is happening?

A moment, Mr. President.

You already had a moment. How many
moments do you need?

I'll be very quick now. Very quick.

Be very careful.

Okay. Thank you.

Thank you.

One thing puzzles me.

How do you get all this up and down the
stairs?

I hear there are four floors.

No, there are five.

You are forgetting the basement.

I tell you a little secret, Mr. Sokolov.

I always check before I take the pin up
and down stairs.

To make sure no one is watching me.
Because if no one knows how to do it,

they will never replace me.

Excuse me.

I wonder if you could direct me to the
office of the Minister of Foreign

Affairs. Sokolov, open this door.

I'll be there in a second. I am paid up
for your moments and your seconds.

Matarska, this cameo gift offer?

Yes. It is number six on the next floor
up.

Oh. Yes, the receptionist said room
number 532.

Oh yes, when they bring the numbers,
they only have number 60s, so all the

rooms are number 6.

Unless they are number 9, when they have
hung them upside down.

Dr. Laws?

Go in.

Sorry. Maybe I draw you a diagram?

Oh, very kind of you.

Oh, do you have a pen?

Oh, of course.

Oh,

that is so beautiful.

It really writes.

Very beautiful, baby. Oh, thank you. It
was born this morning.

Just beautiful hours of labor.

So you brought the baby with you to work
today to give your wife a rest.

He's very thoughtful.

On today.

It is her day to chop wood and forest.

She would not want to waste it.

Naturally.

You are?

Oh, thank you.

Your pen.

Keep it.

I have a thousand more.

Oh, they're so beautiful.

So close.

Oh, you.

Thank you.

Hey, your moments are better now.

I had to help my Tarrasque out of the
bin.

And I had to deal with that man.

What man?

I don't know.

He was looking for you, Katoneka.

He gave us this pen.

I've seen a pen like this before.

It's from Uzgodistan.

The envoy.

Where is he now? I sent him to your
office.

I drew him a map on the piece of paper
in the bin. What paper?

All the paper from your office. Top
secret paper.

But I did draw on the back. I'm sure he
won't look.

Petronica, get to him and get the paper
before he turns it over. What possible

top secret of Barovia could be of any
use to him? None of your business!

That is why it's top secret.

And I have all my negotiating points
written on a big board in my office.

He must not see.

Is

he

all right?

I don't know.

Soklo?

What's that noise?

It is a baby.

A baby?

What baby?

Chocolate?

Chocolate?

Hello? Hello?

Are you the envoy from Uzhgorodstan?

Yes, I am looking for Miss... She is not
in there.

I am her.

Petronica Kaminski, the Minister of
Foreign Affairs.

They must call a doctor.

Good idea.

Oh, we have no phones.

Perhaps talk on the phone.

Have you called the doctor?

No, call reception first. Get us out of
here.

Okay.

And get their briefcase open. We need
this five-point plan.

What is the combination?

Zero, zero, zero, zero.

That is my combination.

In the night, isn't it?

Factories give all briefcases the same
combination.

Not good at complicating locks.

It's the water.

Yes, they sometimes jam.

In fact, often.

Irina! Oh, I am Vladimir Zborovsky,
Minister of Elections. We are stuck in

Popov's office.

Please, come and get us out.

Room 249, second floor.

It has a six on the door.

Just come along the corridor and shout.

Oh, and call a doctor.

Any doctor.

Not too expensive.

There is something which intrigues me. I
am sure you are aware I met your sister.

Oh, she is very beautiful, is she not?
Of course. She is your twin.

But one twin is always a little more
beautiful than the other.

And which twin would that be?

They say the bird that flies becomes
more tired and the bird that stays in

the nest remains fresh. But when the
bird both have the same name... You do

not like the name Petronica? On the
contrary.

They are most poetic, but also most
unusual.

It was in dedication to my father.

He had a petrol station in the village.

He was killed.

Two weeks before I was born, when a
petrol pump exploded.

So tragic.

The petrol pumps exploded quite often,
but the garage was self-service, so

normally he was safe in the office. It
was made of reinforced concrete.

But on this occasion, the customer was
on crutches, and so my father risked his

own life to go and help him fill his
tank.

killed by his own kindness.

So, when my sister and I were born, my
mother named us both Petronica in memory

of his beloved petrol station.

Both with the same name. Was not this
confusing?

No. My Petronica is spelled with one K,
and hers is spelled with two.

Sadly, there is only one of me, Ulan
Eleir, at your service.

May I call you Ulan?

May I call you Petronica?

I only allow people I especially like to
call me Petronica.

Oh, what would you like me to call you?

Petronica.

Oh, let me get rid of that little piece
of paper for you. Oh, no.

You must not dirty such elegant hands.

I will throw it away later.

You are truly considerate.

And such a fine beard.

Almost like velvet.

I grew it myself.

Uzghoristani men are so... What is the
word?

Fertile. Us Uzghoristani men can grow
almost anything on our chins.

Shall we take this into your office?

Oh, yes, but...

The cleaning lady was so thick today and
I simply cannot bear to have a meeting

in my office unless it is as shiny as a
new pin.

I am Miss Petronica and I am not thick.

Madraska. I was upstairs in my bin.
Perhaps you did not see me.

I have not taken a day off sick in all
of my 50, 70 years.

Not even when I fell off the roof when I
was cleaning it. And I broke all of my

arms and legs.

My sister brought me to work the next
day in a supermarket trolley. And I was

not a minute late.

I will clean your office for you now.

No, no, no, no, no. There is no rush.

We can find another office. I will clean
Mr. Popov's office for you. I'm sure

he'll be very happy for you to have your
meeting there.

Oh, Mr. Popov, your Minister of
Supplies.

It would be good to meet him. Yes, kill
two birds with one stone.

Oh, yes, it's very difficult to kill one
bird with one stone.

The best way to do it is get some
breadcrumbs and spread them in the

garden, and then get a net, hide in the
tree.

Pete Dean comes down to eat the
breadcrumbs and throw the net over the

pond.

Yeah, as long as you have a net and some
breadcrumbs, of course. Not always easy

to get.

No.

Are you the doctor?

Yes, I'm looking for office number.
Come, come.

What is it, Doctor?

It's his ear.

I know it's his ear. What is the matter
with him?

It's not good.

I know it's not good. He is special
advisor for elections and he has very

important information we need very
quickly.

And he has a baby which is very noisy.

Oh, go see to that baby.

Ain't bad you ask me, sir.

Who else am I going to ask?

Don't look at me.

Oh, I am the only woman here.

I remind you, poor hero, I do not have
children, but I believe you are

perfectly qualified yourself. If I
remember correctly, you have had five

children by three different wives.

That does not mean I know anything about
the babies.

Then it is time that you not. Go,
Caterpillar.

Well, Doctor?

Penicillin there will help you.

So give him penicillin.

That is not penicillin. That is cheese.

There's no penicillin in Broadway, Mr.
President.

We've seen it in canteens, but it's
expensive.

It's true, Mr. President. One tiny
bottle of penicillin costs the same as

ten bags of coke.

But penicillin was the way to stop it
going.

How much time?

I don't know. I've never done this
before.

I've been waiting for the right patient
and he's perfect. He's nearly dead.

If it works, it will prove to colleagues
of mine who disbelieve me that they are

completely and utterly wrong.

And it will not only be good for me.

And to him, of course.

But it would be a triumph for Barovia.
Perhaps that will be a more vote than

whatever he was thinking in his head.

But that can be of great help.

My brother runs a film business.

And if you book Special Advance Super
Saver, you get big discount.

Plus a little bit extra because I'm his
brother.

But he's not dead yet, and we want him
alive.

Not strictly speaking.

Once we get the briefcase open, what do
we need him for?

And he has last-minute cancellation for
Mr. Solkov tomorrow morning at 11 o

'clock.

Well, I mean, where did the receptionist
get this doctor?

She said on the online.

He's only two-star review, not
five-star, but Sokolov is not even

minister, so you don't want to spend
money like crazy, huh?

Tell me, doctor.

What is your name?

Doctor.

So, Dr.

Oberlof, please be so kind as to show me
your certificate.

Yes, yes, and I don't carry it with me
because there's many dishonest people

here that might try to steal it and then
pretend to be a doctor. At least get

your match in.

Is that all?

Please go to your home and fetch your
certificate.

Yes. Yes, of course.

Yes.

One little thing.

Could I have my film now so I don't have
to bother you later?

When I see your certificate.

Yes.

Only I pass my bank on the way home.

Okay. I go over and I come back very
quickly.

Mr. President, the envoy from
Uzhgorodstan, Mr. Ulan Alayev.

This man, is he all right?

Of course.

Special Advisor Sokolov is meditating.

Oh, but his head is black. It's just
coffee.

Oh, yes.

Let us speak in the corridor.

Did you get his five-point plan? No, it
is in his briefcase. Did you get my top

secret paper?

No, it's in his pocket.

Should I also read the room, Mr.
President?

Yes, Popov, of course.

Mr. Popov is our minister of supplies.

He was just examining the corner for
tiny cracks in the plaster. He's very

meticulous. Any cracks, Popov?

No, Mr. President.

Petronica, please take our esteemed
guest to the cabinet room. I will join

you soon. I have a little business to
finish.

Unless, of course, you prefer to go back
to the hotel, then. No, I have not yet

checked into the Imperial.

Imperial? Yes.

Miss Kaminsky's sister told me it is
truly a sight to behold.

She also told me about your spectacular
nightlife. But another time. For now,

just a hot cup of coffee, and I shall be
as good as new.

I will see you soon.

Come.

The Imperial?

What were you thinking?

Even the rats won't stay here. And what
is this spectacular nightlife?

There's the community hall, Mr.
President. Every second Thursday they

have business.

And when are we going to get rid of
this? What can the envoy think of us

with this ram and this baby?

This is not my ram and this is not my
baby.

Did the doctor do anything for Sokolov?

This is what he has done for him. And
everything we need to know is in this

briefcase. And of all the things in
Borovia that do not fall apart, as soon

as he puts them, it is this briefcase.

They will be very proud of the fact that
we call it the Mark II indestructible

model. But we never really believed it.

Lock the lodge.

We thought you were dead.

Who is Sokolov? You are Sokolov.

We must know your plan.

He is Sokolov. No, you are Sokolov.

This is your baby.

I have baby.

What is his name?

I assume it is Sokolov.

So I am to be made a cup of coffee by
the fair hands of the Minister of

Foreign Affairs.

Oh, our Borovian coffee machines have
many buttons. And these fair hands are

most adept at creating such buttons.

And not just Borovian ones, perhaps.

I will ensure that your coffee does not
have too much froth.

I would not want your beard too deep
inside. I'm sorry, it's magic.

And there beside you, a bin.

You can get rid of that horrible piece
of paper in your pocket.

Oh, it would be such a shame. The bin is
so clean.

Oh, we have a saying in Barovia.

A woman refers a clean man to a clean
bin.

And who am I to argue against an old
Barovian saying?

Oh, there is milk.

I do prefer my gossy to be the purest
white, if she could, please.

Of course.

No, milk, please.

It is for my guest.

No, milk make machine very sticky
inside.

So I can only use water to boil?

You can, but it will not get hot.

I checked the factory, and this
particular model is only good to make

cold coffee. Bring cold coffee in
Borovia?

Of course not.

But this is the only coffee machine you
can buy in Borovia, so we get used to

it. Unless you boil water in saucepan,
the metal saucepan is very hard to get,

and wooden ones made by factory are no
use once you light fire underneath them.

Oh, you have such a sense of humor,
Ivan.

Wooden saucepans, can you imagine?

No, it is a great tradition here.

We Barovians love our cold coffee.

Really? That is the first I heard that.
Nobody I know.

If you are not here to fix the machine,
Ivan, then why are you?

You were so kind to lend me this, and I
know how precious this screwdriver is. I

saw something. I took it by mistake.

You keep a screwdriver?

It belonged to my grandfather.

He was electrocuted when he used it to
change a light bulb.

I keep it with me always in my handbag
so that I never forget him.

Was he very kind to you?

Oh, I never met him.

He left my grandmother and ran off with
a cooler girl before I was born.

It was a light bulb in her dressing
room. He was changing. She was very

vain.

She had 20 other light bulbs around her
mirror, and if just one bulb went, he

had to go and fix it.

To her credit, she gave my grandmother
the screwdriver back afterwards, so

perhaps she had a heart somewhere
afterwards.

That I have used your screwdriver makes
me feel he is part of me.

If only it had black rubber handle, then
maybe he'd be still alive.

So many times I have changed the life of
and nothing happened to me.

You had to help the grandfather.

Please.

It was not his grandfather who was
electrocuted.

Would you like one?

Sure. It was 50 years ago.

So beautiful and so... Oh, please. You
can keep it. I have a thousand more.

My wife will be so happy.

Our kitchen table is made of old tree
trunk. It's very rough. We get many

splinters when we eat. She can put this
under her plate to make safe.

One thing.

My wife.

He's still not talking to me because of
the waitress. Could I please get your

autograph in my book? It will impress
her so much to have the autograph of a

cabinet minister, as well as the
handkerchief. I will be like God again

for her.

Doesn't... Oh,

what a beautiful pen.

And it really writes.

Are you a minister, too?

Oh, please, sign as well. Two
signatures.

Maybe my wife will give me for the
flower girl as well.

Sadly, I am a humble envoy from
Uzkoristan.

Uzkoristan? Oh, she will like even
better.

Maybe she will forgive me for her best
friend as well. The envoy is here to

discuss extremely important business,
Ivan, if you please.

I am happy to oblige.

Even though I do not have a wife myself,
I understand they are moved by her small

and thoughtful gestures.

Oh, and if we could just put in a
personal message to her with her name,

then maybe she will forgive me for her
sister.

Oh, what is her name?

Raposa. But she loves it when I call her
my little potato.

I'm sorry, Mr. President.

I can remember nothing of this plan for
the envoy.

Even this baby you say is mine, I... You
have to plug it in.

I know that, of course.

Obviously.

It's best to stand on rubber mats before
that. In fact, three rubber mats,

I think, is best.

Yes.

Kazimir, since you know so much about
electric drills, please, at the pleasure

of opening this briefcase for the cause
of our greatness.

I would hate to take the credit. Open
it.

The trigger will not go in by itself,
Casimir.

Hey, you!

Me? Ivan, is it? Yes.

I have not changed my name, Mr.
President.

Do you have your hammers in your case?

Ah, so please smash this briefcase to
pieces.

I read that I cannot. It is the
indestructible model.

It's more likely these hammers will
break than the briefcase. They are

hollow to save metal.

I am not a grade 97 maintenance
technician for NASA.

Cheese again.

Again? You've tried already?

Borovian cheese.

When it melts, it's like acid.

It will go in the lock.

And it will make everything go soft.

Uh, someone has some matches?

Oh.

Hmm. Uh, these have no black blobs on
them. How do I, uh... Yes, his latest

batch. But, uh, if you rub them together
really hard, they will white.

Eventually. Okay.

So now there is a shortage of salt.

It has worked for thousands of years,
Mr. President.

I do not have a thousand years. The
envoy is here now.

Oh, I just met the envoy. A very nice
man.

He gave me a very beautiful handkerchief
for my wife. Oh, my heart overflows with

joy for you.

And he has a wonderful pen. It actually
writes immediately.

We're all familiar with this pen. What
we are not familiar with is one match

with a little black boba leach.

Casimir, you smoke all the time.

I don't use matches. I have a lighter.

But I have no catch-all.

And the catch-all there is, is watered
down. And water is much less flammable.

Perhaps Envoy has lighter.

That is sure to work. Oh, you have the
chance to redeem yourself. Go and see

the Envoy.

Ask him if he has lighter. If he does...

Please bother. I do not smoke.

Then pretend.

I assume a man such as yourself would
like your coffee strong.

Calm coffee is something new for me, but
whatever is your tradition.

Would you like a carrot with your
coffee? No, no, no, it is not necessary.

Here.

And yours?

Oh, I had a cup earlier before you
arrived.

Oh, I hate to drink alone.

It's so impolite.

Oh, no, no, no. After your long journey,
please, enjoy.

Excuse me.

I was on my way outside for a cigarette
and I realized I left my lighter at

home. I wonder if you had one I could
borrow.

Since when did you start smoking, Papa?

I woke up this morning and it was like a
kind of revelation that perhaps I'd be

living my life being too frightened with
it, I think.

In Kurdistan, we say a man who lives in
fear lives in an empty box full of fog.

I have a lighter.

Such a fine flame.

Yeah, it does not splatter. Your
cigarette?

My cigarette?

Oh, I can light it for you.

Ah, yes.

It's my first day smoking. I'm so
stupid. I forgot everything.

Lighter, cigarette, everything.

Please, hold.

Okay.

Thank you.

No, it is not permitted to light
cigarette inside.

Just for a minute until you are outside.

I swear he will not say anything.

I'm afraid we take these things very
seriously at the ministry.

Nothing is more important to us than the
health and welfare of our citizens.

No, I have to say I am...

Very impressed with your sense of
responsibility.

Yes, if I could borrow a lighter for a
few minutes, and then take outside,

light it, and bring it back very
quickly, I promise. Please, keep it. I

have a thousand more.

Oh, you're too kind. Thank you.

Yes, oh, your coffee. Oh, no, no,
please, take it.

I am not as thirsty as I thought.

Besides... There is nothing better than
a cigarette and a cup of good, strong,

traditional cold coffee, huh?

Cold coffee? Yes.

It's a good Italian tradition.

Oh, I will be honored, yes. And I will
certainly drink it with great

enthusiasm.

Thank you.

Oh, it's mine.

Hello? I'm in the ministry.

I shall call you later.

I insist you try our most precious
delicacy, reserved only for our most

honored visitors.

The milk from the very rare Peruvian
yak.

Drink it all.

It will help to make your beard even
more fertile.

Ah, finally.

You're wasting your time drinking
coffee.

I did not ask for it. The envoy
insisted.

Oh, it does not splatter. These
Uzgaristanis are so... The briefcase.

Give me this.

No. I'm very tired and very thirsty.

When the briefcase is open, then you
have coffee.

This is so very disgusting and cold.

This Uzgaristani is traditional.

What kind of moronic caveman would drink
this?

Excuse me, sorry to interrupt, but there
are matters I need to attend to. So

perhaps we can continue whatever it is
we need to continue tomorrow morning?

You can have your lighter back. Cheese
has melted now. The locks will open

soon. No, I gave this to Mr. Popov to
keep.

I have a thousand more.

Really? Can I get one, please? For my
wife. Maybe then she'll forgive me. Yes,

of course, yes.

Thank you.

Would anybody else like a lighter?

This will not be necessary. You must
attend to your business.

Yes. Until tomorrow morning.

I will look forward to it.

I will see you out.

Oh, very beautiful baby.

They tell me he is mine.

Come.

What are you thinking?

Why didn't you tell me the coffee is
disgusting?

I tried. What can he think of us when we
say he's moronic cavemen?

I did not call him that. I think he's
what?

When you went to the hospital, your plan
was in here. Where is it now? I don't

know about hospital.

I don't know about anything.

We could call hospital.

Perhaps he lived with his wife.

Excuse me, Mr President.

What is it, Matrashka? We are very busy.

I couldn't help overhearing. Mr Sokolov,
he said his wife was out of the hospital

and she'd gone to chop wood in the
forest.

Where in the forest?

Oh, well, he didn't say precisely, but I
can go and look for her. The forest is 1

,000 square kilometres.

Oh, I know, but I am very patient and I
am very good at finding things that are

lost. Thank you, Mr. Lasker. It will not
be necessary.

There's another thing, Mr. President.
What? I know you are unhappy that

Casimir arranged for the envoy to stay
at the Imperial.

Oh, God, I forgot.

You put him in that fleet. You get him
out. How?

Get to him before he needs the building.

And then what? I don't know. Feel
something when you're running.

You must not stay there.

Are you okay, Mr. President?

Oh, he's a little groggy.

Georgie.

Oh, my God.

Is he dead?

No. I put something in his coffee.

He drank the coffee?

No, Popov took it, so I put it in his
milk. What kind of a man drinks milk?

Oh, it is very good for their beards.

I have the President's top secret
paperback.

He thought he could outsmart me.

The President.

The coffee.

Oh, dear.

Mr. President. Mr. President.

Mr. President.

Mr. President.

This is chocolate!

This is chocolate!

Woohoo!

Did Casimir do this to stop him?

No, I did. It was necessary.

How long will he be like this? When I
gave it to Anatoly, it was around three

hours. Who is Anatoly?

My pet rabbit.

His insomnia was keeping me awake at
night.

He's bigger than a rabbit. What are we
going to say to him when he wakes up?

Anatoly remembered nothing.

Up, up!

He was at the reception.

He was asking to see you. Oh, Mikhail,
you are looking so much better.

That is good to hear. We were all most
concerned about you. What is he doing

here? It was extremely difficult pushing
this wheelchair up two flights of

stairs. I am certain his new invention
will not only bring us the adulation of

our own people, but also riches for
Borovia beyond our dreams.

By his new lightweight, compressed paper
ladder.

Not the ladder.

The prototype phone, I showed you. Oh,
the phone that doesn't work yet, with

the push button.

It's an epic... Not the buttons.

Michelin invented a new feature no other
phone anywhere in the world possesses.

What feature?

The president is coming out. Come.

If the president is coming out, then so
is he.

Did the president do all the coffee?

No. One girl spat it out.

He drank all the milk. A very big glass.

Olga, help us lift him.

You too, Casimir. But I have him.

I have him.

Up. Next floor.

Here.

Have some water.

Drink it all. It will help.

Matreska, I thought you were in the
forest looking for Mr. Sokolov. Oh, yes,

I was, but I am back now. I have to
clean the attic.

Ah, yes.

The president asked me to fetch
something for him, and the key he gave

does not fit the lock.

Oh, excuse me.

Oh, he's given you the key to the
presidential suite.

Oh, that's strange.

He never usually confuses them.

Ah!

What has he asked you to fetch? Because
I know where he keeps everything in his

office. Oh, just some presidential
papers.

Oh, I can help you. Which papers?

It would be far more helpful to me if
you can get the suitcase out of my

office. I keep tripping over it. Oh, as
you wish, Minister Borowski. I know the

very one.

I will clean the attic and then I will
get rid of your suitcase.

Did you find Mrs. Sokolov?

Oh, yes.

I always find what I am looking for.

So, the five-point plan?

Yes. Mrs.

Sokolov was most helpful.

So you have it?

Yes.

And I shall give it to the president
when I have finished the attic and

throwing out your briefcase.

No need. Give it to me. I will take it
to him myself.

Oh, I promise, Mrs. Sokolov. I would
give it to him myself.

Oh,

it is no different. I am his most
trusted minister.

I am sure that is true, Minister
Borowski. But, you know, in all of my 81

years, I have never broken a promise.

And I am certain that it was led me to
have such a wonderful life.

My philosophy precisely.

Go, Matreska, finish your work. Thank
you for your understanding.

the floor on the chair.

But only the president sits in the
chair. Just do it.

You better go back to Mikhail and the
baby.

And do what?

Take them to Popovsky.

It is not my baby, and Mikhail is not my
patient.

Finish what you thought.

It didn't start anything.

What are you doing?

I was checking his vital signs.

Where were you?

You were supposed to not leave him
alone.

I had to go to the toilet.

What toilet? They are all out of order.

Olga said he was coming around.

He was, but then she left and he fell
unconscious again.

So did Sokolov. Quite a coincidence.

Why are you so dusty?

I had to find a toilet that worked.

In his ministry, every dark corner there
is dust.

Who is that in the wheelchair?

It is Mikhail.

Mikhail, you look so much better.

You'll be up and down your new ladder
again in no time, I'm sure.

What happened?

When I left, it was perfectly all right.

Not anymore.

Absent, that image can explain.

I merely went to the toilet.

Which toilet?

None of them are working.

Mr. Borowski, I should have given you
Mr.

Sokolov's papers when I saw you earlier.

The five-point crane, you hear it? I
brought it from the forest in my bucket,

and I took it to the attic. I went back
to my bucket, and it was gone.

There is a hole in the roof, so maybe
the wind took it?

I should have given the papers.

To Minister Borowski when I saw him
trying to get into the President's

office.

The President's office.

That's where you thought there might be
a toilet.

What? You thought I would climb up into
the attic on some filthy old piece of

rope like a common thief?

You are not suggesting that Minister
Borowski could... After all, he is the

President's most trusted minister.

He told me so himself.

What happened?

Perhaps you should ask Vladovich. What?

Vladovich? Mr. President, does he?

Are you all right?

I think so. Where is the envoy?

Don't worry. He is not at the Imperial.

Ah, well done, Catherine. You got to him
in time.

It was nothing.

No, it was not.

I drugged him.

And you too, I'm afraid. In the coffee.

Popov's coffee?

It is complicated, but it is done now
and the envoy will be asleep for many

hours, I am sure.

And I have retrieved your top secret
paper.

Did you look at it?

Of course not.

We have the five-point plan. But we do
have the five-point plan, do we not,

Vladimir? I will send your in for it. He
has it. Search him.

Mr. President, I think you should know
that when I returned from the toilet, I

discovered the Minister of Finance
searching for your pocket. I was

checking your vital signs, sir.

Why not strip him naked? Then you will
find the plan. I have no wish to see the

Minister for Elections naked.

Do you have the five-point plan?

No, I do not.

His toilet.

What about his toilet? I have no wish to
know about his toilet.

I would like to know.

I need to go. I thought they were all...
Out of order.

Vladimir, take him.

I will not take him to the toilet. I'm
the Minister of Elections, not

Emissions. Do you want to keep your
comfy chair?

That is because I am Minister of the
Moon. Take him.

Thank you.

You can find it yourself,

I am sure.

Go to the top floor.

Pass the rope hanging from the attic.

Keep going through many, many corridors.

You will find it. Many, many corridors?

Are you not going to take me? The
presidency... I have been already.

I do not need to go.

You need to go? So go.

You will find it. Many corridors?

Takes more than a few drops of poison
for only a yagmik to keep this was gonna

stand it out.

This five-point plan, you have it?

No, I don't know. Did you not hear?

The wind took it?

I don't know. All I know is it was in
the bucket. Then, the next time I look,

it's not in the bucket. Take me for a
fool.

Before I came here, you promised to
finally provide me with some information

which would be mutually beneficial.

I beg you, hand something for this.

No, no, no.

You promised to pay me handsomely. There
is a difference.

You have not given me anything.

How do I know, if I give you something,
that you will keep your side of the

promise? An Uzhgorostani always keeps
his word.

An empty phrase I've heard so many
times.

From an Uzhgorostani?

Maybe not specifically an Uzhgorostani.

But in Borovia we have many similar
sayings. And always they down-tame it.

That is not gold print, I can assure
you.

And those are Oscar's funny diamonds,
not glass.

I won't win.

You think I am so stupid as to keep it
in my pocket?

It is so strange. He was completely
conscious when I... It was Vladimir.

I told you, you must not trust him.

Excuse me, Mr. President. May I have
your permission to leave now?

I will return to the forest and I will
find your five-point plan. Of course you

may leave, Matrashka, but it is not
necessary to go back to the forest.

Oh,

I never knew.

Are you sure the envoy will be out for a
while?

Only an elephant could not be... Oh, you
test it on elephants, do you? At least I

was intelligent enough to try something.

Mr. President, I think I have an idea.

Think you have an idea, or you have an
idea?

So you could not retrieve the plan from
a little old lady's bucket.

I am a gentleman.

I would never dispossess an old woman by
deception like some common picky-pocket.

And also, when I sneaked into the attic
after her, it was no longer in the

bucket. And perhaps the bucket is magic,
or perhaps it blew out of the hole in

the roof like she said.

And perhaps you don't need to tell the
time so accurately.

I resent most strongly the inference
that I am in any way not to be trusted.

I was voted Minister of Demand for 68
months by my colleagues.

That is the measure of my integrity.

You had not fulfilled one promise to us.

Your president with a dog.

Not just any dog.

That is the dog of President's
mistress's neighbor.

Simply imply that you might show it to
his most ferocious wife, and he will

dangle like a puppet for the ambitions
of a segurista.

Would not it be better to have a picture
of him with the mistress?

President's wife is crazy about small
dogs. She will be far more jealous to

see him with the chan.

Get me the 5.4, not a picture of donk.

Valinich, I thought you were...
Petronica was most unwise to leave him

alone. What if he had woken up and
wandered unmonitored all over the

ministry?

Why do I have to push him around
everywhere? If you define yourself as

healthy male, you should celebrate this
opportunity to show off your strength.

Where is Sokolov's baby?

Where he should be.

Beside him, on Popov's desk.

You left him on the desk?

What kind of father are you? I am not
his father.

Casimir, go and fetch the baby. He will
roll off.

Babies one day all do not roll anywhere.

Oh, so you do know about babies.

Why is he here with the envoy?

He is supposed to be showing Pop off to
the toilet.

Casimir, go and fetch the baby.

Oh.

Weathersea.

Oh.

These chairs are extremely hard. No
wonder you were bored against me.

Would you like me to move the envoy so
you can?

No, I do not want to wake him. Olga,
your plan is interesting, but very

extreme. Extreme problems sometimes
require extreme solutions.

How can we be sure to get the right
ashes out of the incinerator?

My sister tells me that the Uzgur Stalis
can test one set of ashes from another.

I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with Olga's
plan.

Whose ashes are we discussing?

You want to put him in the incinerator?

Well, we cannot use crematorium. It must
be death's creed.

He will be unhushed. He will know
nothing.

They will send his ashes back,
explaining he was a victim to some

unfortunate accident.

They are touring our underground river
of Larva.

I have never heard of this underground
river of Larva. Which is why he was so

curious to see.

They will think he has been kidnapped
and murdered for our own doubt purposes.

Oh, that will be a major diplomatic
incident. End of today's economic

sanctions. Which will make our people
even poorer.

Indeed. But who will they blame for
this? Not us, the Iskoristanis.

And the one thing all Barovians had in
common is envy.

And where there is envy, there is
hatred.

At the election, the good people of
Barovia will unite.

Unite with their leaders against the
common enemy, Uzhgorodstan.

Popo, you found Vladimir's toilet?

No. Perhaps I used the wrong corridor. I
had to go in the forest.

Did you see? Is the incinerator working?

I don't know.

But Rasko does all that.

We will come with you to check.

We don't all need to come.

We do.

We are men and women of the people.

There may be a lot of coal to shovel in.
We are proud to get our hands a little

dirty for such a noble cause.

What noble cause?

Vladimir, stay here. Make sure he
doesn't wake prematurely.

Do you have the lighter the envoy gave
you? Yes, I do.

Most appropriate.

I am too weak and stingerated.

Keep Ruth giving me the plan. Give it to
them.

I do not have the plan.

So, what will you take?

1,000 gold watches?

2,000 gold watches? You can give me
5,000 gold watches.

5,000 gold watches.

You show me the plan first and give it
to them.

How do I know you will pay me?

That was good. Tony always keeps his
word.

I have them in the boot of my car.

Ah, good to see you conscious again.

Could I get you something? Some milk,
perhaps?

I'm told you people like to... No, no,
no, it is not necessary.

Mr. Borowski here has been most
attentive to my needs. But I understand

he has some urgent work to do?

Well, please, feel free to do this
urgent work extremely urgently.

Oh, yes. I will... Bye-bye.

But if you'd only let me show it to you.
I do not wish to see your stupid phone,

which does not even work.

But Mikhail's breakthrough... Could
what?

Say it were obvious?

Yeah, I cannot guarantee.

But to incinerate the envoy seems a
little... You do not understand

anything, Popov.

We are not going to...

We did not need you off of go, but the
incinerator.

What it is?

Ah, collecting something from your
office.

No, I, yes, I... The five-point plan,
perhaps.

Why does everybody think I have the
five-point plan? You take me for a fool?

That is what the envoy said, but I told
him. Ha, ha, the envoy.

You have taken bribe.

The very idea.

That I would ever dream of betraying my
beloved country.

Ten thousand gold watches?

No, five thousand, but... Give me that.

I just wanted to wash my hands.

There is no soap in the toilet.

Of course, if everybody takes it to
their buffets.

I must hurry.

I have clinical phobia. I must wash my
hands every two hours. You are going

nowhere. We are searching every inch of
your office for what we know you have.

But... Why is suitcase

lying in middle of floor?

I have tripped over it many times also.

But don't worry.

Matrashka will get rid of the suitcase.

Ah, Matrashka.

We're too late.

I think your baby is feeding.

It is here, my baby.

He is hungry.

Do you have a bottle?

Which is not here in this very loud,
noisy place.

Let him up in a sec.

He is already out of my sight. I cannot
see.

He comes out here.

The President would not listen. He
thinks a phone is just a phone.

Really?

He's pleased to have it with you?

them very important news.

Our finest scientists have been working
on this for five years, and they are

still two years away from even a
half-work example!

And the Borovians have already!

The Borovians!

Get it here! Get it here by any means
you can, as soon as you can!

No more talk of ladders. Please, Michel.

Oh, excuse me. Sorry to trouble, but
could I have a cup of coffee? There is

machine in here. Yes, but there is no
milk.

Perhaps you have a kitchen?

Of course, but Minister Casimir asked me
not to let you out of my sight.

Ah, yes, that is understandable.

But you could leave your friend Michel
here to watch out for me.

And why would I want to leave?

Especially as I have not yet had a tour
of your world-renowned factory, to which

I have been very much looking forward to
as the highlight of my visit.

Oh.

All right.

Cold coffee, yes?

I'll be back in a moment.

Yes.

I told you I do not have it. Go.

I told you not to leave him alone.

I did not. Be careful.

And why run off with his briefcase? What
was in it? Oh.

Oh, dear.

What, oh, dear?

What I was trying to tell you about. For
the new phone.

Oh, your phone. What, some buttons that
really push?

No, it was much more than that.

I found it.

Found what? What have you found? It was
in the ravine at the far side of the

forest. The wind must have been very
strong to take it all that way.

Sokolov's five-point plan.

Huh. Now do you believe me?

So, we have the plan, but no envoy to
use it on.

You don't bear to answer.

Whatever you paid for this is a mere
tariff. As it happens, I paid most

handsomely, but it will repay us a
thousandfold.

That I knew the moment I heard the word
memory card.

As president, of course, it is your
privilege.

The combination?

Zero.

Zero.

Zero.

They are bad titties.

They won't open.

Do not worry.

I have brought some Barovian cheese.

Even if they tried to start producing
them tomorrow, their machinery is so

primitive. Not a single one would roll
off their production lines for months.

Can you imagine, Ulan?

Thousands of photographs, millions of
messages, hundreds of phone numbers, all

stored on one tiny memory card.

Once our scientists reproduce it, our
factories will be turning them out by

the million within a few weeks.
Uzhgorod's tiny force will dominate the

world market.

Okay. Glue the card to the back of your
phone.

You can write up to 30 phone numbers on
the card, or 50 if you write very small.

Never forget a phone number again.

Glue not included.

How much did you pay for it?

This.

I've got the hand it to suck a lot.

That was a good plan.

My sister had to compliment so many
beards before she got to his.

Could we not invite him again?

We have it now. He has not seen it after
all.

No, Papa.

When the whistle has blown, the game is
over.

I was so looking forward to showing him
that.

They are all wearing their new hats.

If only you would read my proposal.

We will, old girl, with enthusiasm.

But for now, I think we should all go
home to our loved ones. It has not been

a good day.

In fact, it has been like every other
day.

What about Sokolov? He cannot look after
a baby the state that he is in.

I will take baby, though.

Just for one night.

Pregnant? You are a woman!

I will bring it back when Sokolov is
recovered, of course.

Naturally, I will not form any kind of
bond with Bebe.

Officer, I almost forgot.

What is this?

A Luzgurestani?

Always keeps his word.

Where did you find this?

It was on your suitcase in reception.

On my suitcase?

The one you asked me to throw out.

Well, I only left it for a few minutes
in reception, but when I came back, the

note was on it.

Do you know what the strange thing was?
It seemed heavier than it was before.

Very heavy.

Probably my old age playing tricks,
but...

It was like it was full of a thousand
gold bars.

Or five thousand gold watches.

Matraska!

Matraska! Matraska!

I trust you will be sharing your good
fortune with the people of Rovia?

Yes, of course, Mr. President. That's
going to happen.

But I have to say, it was very difficult
carrying the suitcase all the way

through the forest to the ravine.

Well, the ravine.

Yes.

The rubbish people never come to enter
the bins. The incinerator never has any

coal, so if I get anything heavy, I take
it down to the deepest ravine, and I

throw it in to the river of lava.

Magic! Everything dissolves instantly.

You will never trip over it again.

Oh, but I saved the paper, of course.

Did I do something wrong?