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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:02:16,508 --> 00:02:20,008 SEX / DREAMS / LOVE 4 00:03:30,967 --> 00:03:36,674 "If you, as a human being, have the capacity to recognize goodness and beauty, 5 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,467 and be excited by it." 6 00:03:39,592 --> 00:03:45,966 "If you have the capacity to recognize injustice and act on it." 7 00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:53,300 "If you have the capacity to recognize evil and distance yourself from it." 8 00:03:53,425 --> 00:03:57,799 - I think that's how it went. - That's beautiful. 9 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,091 Why did that make you uncomfortable? 10 00:04:01,092 --> 00:04:04,842 It wasn't what he said, it was ... 11 00:04:04,967 --> 00:04:09,217 At first it was lovely. He looked at me and said those words. 12 00:04:09,342 --> 00:04:15,008 But then something changed, and it felt dark and uncomfortable. 13 00:04:15,883 --> 00:04:21,007 I usually can't remember my dreams, but this one I remember in detail. 14 00:04:21,008 --> 00:04:26,507 - It's lodged in my body and won't let go. - And that's uncomfortable? 15 00:04:26,508 --> 00:04:31,007 - Are you into David Bowie? - No, not at all. 16 00:04:31,008 --> 00:04:38,049 I'm not even positive it was David Bowie, but ... 17 00:04:38,050 --> 00:04:45,674 It began with me coming out of the toilet cubicle, wherever this was, 18 00:04:45,675 --> 00:04:50,299 and he stood there washing his hands, and he looked at me in the mirror. 19 00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:55,050 Our eyes met, and then he smiled and said that. 20 00:04:55,175 --> 00:04:57,758 Or something along those lines. 21 00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:04,133 At first, I didn't realize it was Bowie. I thought it was God. 22 00:05:04,258 --> 00:05:07,049 - God? - Yes, God. 23 00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:11,133 Then I thought it was Anni-Frid from ABBA. 24 00:05:11,258 --> 00:05:14,592 But then I realized it was David Bowie. 25 00:05:14,717 --> 00:05:18,842 And he was washing his hands? Earlier you said he was on his phone. 26 00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:24,674 It changes. It's strange how dreams change when you start talking about them. 27 00:05:24,675 --> 00:05:30,842 You fill in the blanks to create a coherent narrative. 28 00:05:32,092 --> 00:05:39,092 It was Bowie, but whether he was washing his hands or on the phone, I'm not sure. 29 00:05:39,967 --> 00:05:41,800 Anyway ... 30 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:47,799 Then he looked at me and smiled, and then he walked up to me ... 31 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,592 ... and then you had sex? 32 00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,592 No. 33 00:05:52,717 --> 00:05:55,842 What? No. Why would you say that? 34 00:05:55,967 --> 00:06:00,133 But there was something about the look in his eyes ... 35 00:06:01,217 --> 00:06:06,132 It was calm, firm, friendly and full of compassion. 36 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:11,132 It was like I could surrender all my worries and just ... 37 00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:14,133 He was taking charge from here. 38 00:06:14,258 --> 00:06:16,549 And that felt so good. 39 00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:20,967 It was only when he walked towards me I realized that he ... 40 00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:27,132 He looked at me as if I was someone I didn't quite recognize. 41 00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:28,675 Or rather ... 42 00:06:30,883 --> 00:06:33,675 I didn't recognize myself in his eyes, you know? 43 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,758 I'm not entirely sure. 44 00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:41,717 - I don't really understand it myself. - So how did he look at you? 45 00:06:41,842 --> 00:06:46,175 It felt like he looked at me as if I was a woman. 46 00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:55,758 And then ... he said hi ... or he sang hi, rather. Like, "Hello, you." 47 00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:01,175 And I sang hi back at him. 48 00:07:04,175 --> 00:07:11,924 My voice sounded strange, but that didn't matter in the dream, somehow. 49 00:07:11,925 --> 00:07:18,091 It was only when I woke up it went from feeling liberating to feeling ... 50 00:07:18,092 --> 00:07:20,174 ... uncomfortable. 51 00:07:20,175 --> 00:07:23,216 How odd, that he looked at you as if you were a woman. 52 00:07:23,217 --> 00:07:27,842 - Was it sexual? - No, I ... I don't really know. 53 00:07:27,967 --> 00:07:33,217 No, I've never thought about being another gender. 54 00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:38,092 Nor have I felt attracted to men. 55 00:07:38,217 --> 00:07:43,092 Those feelings can arise out of the blue even if you haven't felt them before. 56 00:07:43,217 --> 00:07:46,092 I don't really think they can. Do you? 57 00:07:46,217 --> 00:07:48,383 I think so. 58 00:07:49,592 --> 00:07:53,217 I think ... I don't know if I should say this. 59 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,550 The thing is ... 60 00:07:56,675 --> 00:07:58,717 I had ... 61 00:07:58,842 --> 00:08:02,007 ... sex with a man yesterday. 62 00:08:02,008 --> 00:08:05,758 You did? OK? A ... 63 00:08:05,883 --> 00:08:08,257 A man ... Yesterday? 64 00:08:08,258 --> 00:08:11,258 A client. We were sweeping his chimney. 65 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:18,925 Terje had left, and I was standing in the kitchen chatting to this guy. 66 00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:22,257 We'd found some cracks in his chimney. 67 00:08:22,258 --> 00:08:28,425 And then he suddenly asked if I wanted to have sex with him. 68 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:35,257 I thought I'd misheard him, but then he repeated himself. 69 00:08:35,258 --> 00:08:38,383 I was so taken aback I started laughing. 70 00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:42,256 I said no, of course. Thanks, but no thanks. 71 00:08:42,257 --> 00:08:44,257 But ... 72 00:08:46,257 --> 00:08:49,424 I couldn't get angry with him. Or maybe I could have ... 73 00:08:49,425 --> 00:08:53,924 It was just completely out of the blue. Totally bonkers. 74 00:08:53,925 --> 00:08:58,300 I walked out into the street and ... 75 00:08:59,758 --> 00:09:04,300 I gave it some thought, and then ... 76 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,967 ... I went back inside. 77 00:09:08,092 --> 00:09:10,299 - And then you had sex? - Yes. 78 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,300 Wow. Yeah, okay. That's ... 79 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:20,299 I'm just shocked. Maybe not shocked, I just didn't know you were gay. 80 00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:25,049 You've never mentioned ... Have you? 81 00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:28,299 No, no. I'm not gay. I know that much. 82 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:32,175 I've never done anything like that. That was the first time. 83 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:35,341 - If you're not gay, why did you do it? - Good question. 84 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:39,175 That's the thing. I'm not sure. Because I ... 85 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:43,341 But I think it was a bit like your dream. 86 00:09:43,342 --> 00:09:47,092 Something about the way he looked at me. I've never had ... 87 00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:53,341 ... anyone look at me like that, like they're lusting for me. 88 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:58,257 - Completely shameless. - That look, right. I don't know. 89 00:09:58,258 --> 00:10:02,050 I don't think that's exactly how David Bowie looked at me ... 90 00:10:02,175 --> 00:10:06,633 I know, it was just an association. But you look uncomfortable. 91 00:10:06,758 --> 00:10:08,341 I didn't want that. 92 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:12,424 But this was a client? You can't do that. 93 00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:16,217 You can't have sex with clients, you understand that? 94 00:10:16,342 --> 00:10:19,216 Yes, of course. I don't know what happened. 95 00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:22,217 But what was it like? Wasn't it weird? 96 00:10:22,342 --> 00:10:25,257 Yeah, it was a different thing altogether. 97 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,382 But it felt good. 98 00:10:27,383 --> 00:10:33,050 It was actually pretty mind-blowing, to be honest. 99 00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:36,092 You look embarrassed. I'm sorry. 100 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:41,717 - I get it. It's a bit much. - It is a bit much, but ... 101 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:47,717 I guess I think ... I just think ... I'm not sure quite what to think. 102 00:10:47,842 --> 00:10:52,382 - Aren't you worried about STI's? - He used a condom. 103 00:10:52,383 --> 00:10:56,882 - When he took me from be... - Yeah, okay. 104 00:10:56,883 --> 00:11:00,008 But ... didn't it hurt? 105 00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:04,425 Maybe a bit, but no, it was mostly ... 106 00:11:05,425 --> 00:11:09,258 It was peculiar. 107 00:11:10,258 --> 00:11:13,425 - So now you're ... - What? 108 00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:16,424 - Gay? - No, no. 109 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:21,757 I don't plan on doing it again. But it was nice, in a way. 110 00:11:21,758 --> 00:11:26,424 The feeling that a complete stranger ... 111 00:11:26,425 --> 00:11:29,966 ... wanted me like that ... 112 00:11:29,967 --> 00:11:32,217 ... and just surrender to it. 113 00:11:33,425 --> 00:11:36,883 No, listen. I'm sorry. 114 00:11:37,008 --> 00:11:40,092 I had actually decided I wasn't going to say anything. 115 00:11:40,217 --> 00:11:44,300 It's a little ... Yeah, I don't know. 116 00:11:44,425 --> 00:11:48,342 It's funny. I've never experienced anything like that before. 117 00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,800 But it was kind of ... 118 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,716 ... sensational for me. 119 00:11:54,717 --> 00:11:57,133 I need to talk about it. 120 00:11:57,258 --> 00:12:00,133 And you're the only one I can talk to about this. 121 00:12:00,258 --> 00:12:02,758 And my wife, of course. 122 00:12:02,883 --> 00:12:08,217 - You didn't tell her? - Yes. As soon as I got home. 123 00:12:08,342 --> 00:12:13,591 - How did she take it? - She was surprised. Astonished. 124 00:12:13,592 --> 00:12:18,925 But that goes for me as well. I was bewildered, really. Physically as well. 125 00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:25,217 We talked about it. She said she didn't understand why I did it. 126 00:12:26,258 --> 00:12:28,966 But neither do I, so ... 127 00:12:28,967 --> 00:12:32,967 She wasn't upset? Or angry? 128 00:12:33,092 --> 00:12:37,507 No, she wanted to know if this was the first time, which it was. 129 00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:42,217 She knows that. If I'd done anything like that before, I would've told her. 130 00:12:42,342 --> 00:12:46,841 - What was she meant to say? - What she was meant to say? 131 00:12:46,842 --> 00:12:50,216 You cheated. And with another man. 132 00:12:50,217 --> 00:12:53,466 She could have kicked you out. 133 00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:57,674 Cheated? It was just sex. I wouldn't consider that cheating. 134 00:12:57,675 --> 00:13:02,717 I don't consider having sex with someone else cheating. 135 00:13:02,842 --> 00:13:04,133 - What's cheating, then? 136 00:13:04,258 --> 00:13:06,716 - Starting a relationship with someone else. 137 00:13:06,717 --> 00:13:10,383 - Behind her back. - This is a bit much. 138 00:13:10,508 --> 00:13:12,758 Surely you can hear yourself. 139 00:13:15,217 --> 00:13:18,050 You had sex with a man, 140 00:13:18,175 --> 00:13:23,216 and you describe it as something that just happened. 141 00:13:23,217 --> 00:13:27,258 It can't be. You must've thought about it before. 142 00:13:27,383 --> 00:13:31,549 You must've been attracted to men. It's not something you just do. 143 00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:36,549 Something you do? I've never thought about it before, truly. 144 00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:40,716 But I've also never been afraid of or wary of homosexuality. 145 00:13:40,717 --> 00:13:44,757 I've just never been attracted to men. 146 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:47,217 I'm still not. 147 00:13:50,217 --> 00:13:53,133 - More coffee? - No, thanks. 148 00:14:09,675 --> 00:14:11,342 What? 149 00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:15,717 I have to say I'm a bit shocked. I thought I knew you. 150 00:14:15,842 --> 00:14:20,758 Well, you do. I haven't changed just because I've ... 151 00:14:22,592 --> 00:14:25,257 I hope you don't see it that way. 152 00:14:25,258 --> 00:14:27,632 If so, I regret telling you. 153 00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:32,466 No, we're friends. You have to tell me what's going on. 154 00:14:32,467 --> 00:14:34,633 I'm just ... 155 00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:39,632 You're completely uninhibited, and I ... 156 00:14:39,633 --> 00:14:42,675 I was embarrassed to walk next to my pregnant wife, 157 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,632 because people could tell we'd had sex. 158 00:14:45,633 --> 00:14:49,132 Do you really think I'm completely uninhibited? 159 00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:52,632 I've got my limits. I wouldn't just do anything. 160 00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:55,633 Do you think I'm completely uninhibited? 161 00:14:56,633 --> 00:15:00,133 I don't really think anything. 162 00:15:01,092 --> 00:15:04,674 - Have you got any more calls today? - Yes, two. 163 00:15:04,675 --> 00:15:07,674 I need to leave early, I've got this ... 164 00:15:07,675 --> 00:15:10,258 That's another strange thing. 165 00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:14,883 When I woke up from that dream, there was something about my voice ... 166 00:15:15,008 --> 00:15:17,507 It sounds different. Can you hear it? 167 00:15:17,508 --> 00:15:21,717 - You sound a bit raspy. - No, it's more like ... 168 00:15:21,842 --> 00:15:24,925 It's in a different register. 169 00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:28,716 - And when I sing ... - When you sing? When do you sing? 170 00:15:28,717 --> 00:15:32,966 - Oh yeah, you're in that choir. - That's it. 171 00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:36,674 We have a concert coming up, and I've got a solo. 172 00:15:36,675 --> 00:15:40,674 So I've got an appointment with a voice coach. 173 00:15:40,675 --> 00:15:44,425 The conductor recommended her. I just need to pick up Klaus first. 174 00:15:44,550 --> 00:15:47,924 Voice coach, then marching band practice. 175 00:15:47,925 --> 00:15:49,925 It's non-stop. 176 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,716 Pity we didn't get to talk more about your dream. 177 00:15:52,717 --> 00:15:56,549 I don't know how much more there is to say about it. 178 00:15:56,550 --> 00:15:58,383 - When's the concert? - On Saturday. 179 00:15:58,508 --> 00:16:04,007 We're singing a ... It's a weird thing, actually ... 180 00:16:04,008 --> 00:16:10,424 The conductor, she's ...I think she's ... I think she's really good. 181 00:16:10,425 --> 00:16:16,716 But she wants us to sing more experimental stuff. 182 00:16:16,717 --> 00:16:21,050 Okay? Is this something one can attend? 183 00:16:21,175 --> 00:16:25,258 Well, yeah, but I'm not sure it's really your cup of tea. 184 00:16:25,383 --> 00:16:30,382 - Isn't that for me to decide? - Sure, it's open to all. 185 00:16:30,383 --> 00:16:33,800 - Would you rather I didn't come? - No ... 186 00:16:35,258 --> 00:16:39,592 Come if you want. Now you're warned. 187 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,633 Well ... 188 00:16:42,758 --> 00:16:46,758 It's ... I was just thinking ... that ... 189 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:53,883 I'd prefer it if you didn't tell anyone about that dream. 190 00:16:54,008 --> 00:16:56,757 I won't say anything. 191 00:16:56,758 --> 00:17:00,757 The same goes for what I told you. 192 00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:04,132 I kind of assumed you'd keep it to yourself. 193 00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:06,133 Yes, of course. 194 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,799 - See you at the pool tomorrow. - Half past eight? 195 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,300 Half past eight. 196 00:17:28,633 --> 00:17:29,800 Hi! 197 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:34,799 - Did you work from home today? - No, I came home after lunch. 198 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,507 I've been out in the garden. 199 00:17:37,508 --> 00:17:40,883 Are you ready for the garden centre? I just need a shower. 200 00:17:41,008 --> 00:17:44,799 - Are the kids in? - They'll be home soon. 201 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,133 The school called, by the way. 202 00:17:47,258 --> 00:17:54,175 It seems Hans Petter has been asking his classmates how much their parents make. 203 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:59,257 They didn't like that, then? 204 00:17:59,258 --> 00:18:02,092 I reckon they've had complaints. 205 00:18:03,842 --> 00:18:05,842 But listen ... 206 00:18:07,842 --> 00:18:10,883 What you told me yesterday ... 207 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,342 I can't let it go. 208 00:18:16,342 --> 00:18:17,967 No ... 209 00:18:18,092 --> 00:18:22,925 I think it affected me more than I realized. 210 00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:27,717 It was the way you told me. Like it was no big deal. 211 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,466 As if it was good news ... 212 00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:34,466 Good news? 213 00:18:34,467 --> 00:18:36,882 I guess I just ... 214 00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:41,717 - I felt a bit bewildered. - I didn't know how to react. 215 00:18:41,842 --> 00:18:45,883 But I've been thinking about it all day, and ... 216 00:18:46,883 --> 00:18:50,925 You've cheated, you know. With a man. 217 00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:53,883 That doesn't make it okay. 218 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:58,383 It definitely doesn't feel okay. 219 00:18:58,508 --> 00:19:01,882 It washes over me in waves. 220 00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:04,882 One moment, I'm like, all right. 221 00:19:04,883 --> 00:19:06,883 But then ... 222 00:19:07,925 --> 00:19:10,882 ... I just cry. I've been crying all day. 223 00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,675 Hey ... Sweetheart. 224 00:19:13,842 --> 00:19:15,425 Sweetie. 225 00:19:17,925 --> 00:19:20,924 I didn't want it to be like this. 226 00:19:20,925 --> 00:19:22,717 Sweetheart. 227 00:19:23,925 --> 00:19:26,925 I understand why you reacted the way you did. 228 00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:32,925 I did something I've never done before. 229 00:19:34,717 --> 00:19:37,592 Without you knowing. 230 00:19:39,925 --> 00:19:42,425 It threw me too. 231 00:19:42,550 --> 00:19:46,008 - How do you mean? - I'd never thought I ... 232 00:19:48,925 --> 00:19:51,925 But then I just did it. 233 00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:55,967 I didn't think of it as cheating. 234 00:19:56,967 --> 00:20:01,550 - I still don't. - What is cheating, then? 235 00:20:04,967 --> 00:20:07,175 I told you straight away. 236 00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:11,633 So cheating is fine as long as you tell your partner straight away? 237 00:20:12,633 --> 00:20:15,966 For me, cheating is ... 238 00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:21,508 - Cheating is hiding something. - I've been thinking about this all day. 239 00:20:21,633 --> 00:20:24,008 I don't understand any of it. 240 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,717 How could you do it? 241 00:20:27,842 --> 00:20:29,966 I don't ... 242 00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:34,967 - I don't know. - And I'm thinking ... Are you gay? 243 00:20:35,967 --> 00:20:38,591 - No! - Are you sure? 244 00:20:38,592 --> 00:20:42,008 I can't see any other explanation. 245 00:20:45,008 --> 00:20:46,800 Sweetheart. 246 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:51,425 Having one beer doesn't make me an alcoholic. 247 00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:53,550 That's not how it works. 248 00:20:55,925 --> 00:20:57,967 And I'm also wondering ... 249 00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:03,757 Do you still love me? Do you want to be with me? 250 00:21:03,758 --> 00:21:06,007 Yes! 251 00:21:06,008 --> 00:21:08,925 Of course I do! 252 00:21:10,883 --> 00:21:13,967 It's got nothing to do with that. 253 00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:18,758 I'm ... I love you. 254 00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:23,632 There's no one else I love like you. 255 00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:26,050 I've never loved anyone this way. 256 00:21:27,008 --> 00:21:31,258 - I've never been this happy with anyone. - So why have sex with someone else? 257 00:21:31,383 --> 00:21:34,049 And a man, as well. It's completely ... 258 00:21:34,050 --> 00:21:37,049 I don't understand anything. 259 00:21:37,050 --> 00:21:39,633 How could you just do that? 260 00:21:43,050 --> 00:21:48,383 It might sound strange to you, but for me ... 261 00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:53,592 They're completely unrelated. It doesn't mean I care about you any less. 262 00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:57,050 And I didn't think ... 263 00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:01,091 Our love can't ... 264 00:22:01,092 --> 00:22:06,925 ... be reduced to just not having sex with others. Can it? 265 00:22:07,925 --> 00:22:10,550 Or maybe that's how it is? 266 00:22:10,675 --> 00:22:15,091 When I say it out loud, I realize that maybe it is, but ... 267 00:22:15,092 --> 00:22:17,091 I've looked at it all wrong. 268 00:22:17,092 --> 00:22:21,508 But I don't understand what made you do it. 269 00:22:24,592 --> 00:22:29,425 I guess I was ... I was turned on. 270 00:22:29,550 --> 00:22:32,633 - I was aroused ... - You wanted him? 271 00:22:32,758 --> 00:22:34,092 Yes. 272 00:22:39,050 --> 00:22:45,133 Yes, I guess I picked up on it while we were chatting. 273 00:22:46,133 --> 00:22:50,633 I could feel him looking at me. 274 00:22:51,342 --> 00:22:54,967 At ... at my body. 275 00:22:56,383 --> 00:23:01,425 And then he just asked me, point blank, if I wanted to have sex with him. 276 00:23:02,925 --> 00:23:07,842 I said no, but when I was outside and had a chance to think, I ... 277 00:23:07,967 --> 00:23:11,924 I realized I was actually really turned on. 278 00:23:11,925 --> 00:23:14,467 And then ... Yeah. 279 00:23:17,133 --> 00:23:19,300 So ... 280 00:23:19,425 --> 00:23:21,133 No, this is ... 281 00:23:23,133 --> 00:23:27,592 I can't make sense of this. 282 00:23:27,717 --> 00:23:33,383 You're saying it wasn't cheating, it was just sex, it had nothing to do with us. 283 00:23:33,508 --> 00:23:36,383 Would you have felt the same if it was a woman? 284 00:23:36,508 --> 00:23:39,049 I don't know, really. 285 00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:41,842 No, I don't think so. 286 00:23:41,967 --> 00:23:44,632 I'm sure I wouldn't. 287 00:23:44,633 --> 00:23:49,550 But this was just something completely different. 288 00:23:50,592 --> 00:23:53,674 The fact that he looked at me ... 289 00:23:53,675 --> 00:23:58,091 ... as someone who might want to have sex with him ... 290 00:23:58,092 --> 00:24:01,550 - That ... - You were flattered? 291 00:24:04,175 --> 00:24:06,092 Did you enjoy it? 292 00:24:08,342 --> 00:24:10,632 I guess ... 293 00:24:10,633 --> 00:24:14,049 Yes, it felt good. 294 00:24:14,050 --> 00:24:16,550 Yes, it did. 295 00:24:17,550 --> 00:24:20,425 And you didn't think about me? 296 00:24:20,550 --> 00:24:23,924 No, I didn't, to be completely honest. 297 00:24:23,925 --> 00:24:28,883 But you can't just have sex with everyone you fancy. 298 00:24:29,008 --> 00:24:31,758 I mean, you can, but ... 299 00:24:31,883 --> 00:24:34,967 But ... 300 00:24:35,092 --> 00:24:37,550 But I don't. 301 00:24:38,675 --> 00:24:41,383 I've never done this before. 302 00:24:41,508 --> 00:24:43,800 You know that. 303 00:24:43,925 --> 00:24:46,757 This is completely insane. 304 00:24:46,758 --> 00:24:49,257 - Where are you going? - I don't know. 305 00:24:49,258 --> 00:24:52,424 I'm going to do some more work. 306 00:24:52,425 --> 00:24:54,633 You should take that shower. 307 00:27:33,133 --> 00:27:35,591 Dad? 308 00:27:35,592 --> 00:27:39,799 I've been thinking about starting my own YouTube channel. 309 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,175 What do you think about that? 310 00:27:44,008 --> 00:27:46,050 Nothing as of yet. 311 00:27:47,425 --> 00:27:51,882 - Why do you want to do that? - I feel like my grades aren't good enough. 312 00:27:51,883 --> 00:27:54,882 Stop it. You're getting B's across the board. 313 00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:57,924 Yeah, but I'm not getting any A's. 314 00:27:57,925 --> 00:28:01,382 I'm nowhere near the top of the class. 315 00:28:01,383 --> 00:28:03,925 I'm mediocre. 316 00:28:04,050 --> 00:28:07,174 - Alice has a YouTube channel. - Put away your phone. 317 00:28:07,175 --> 00:28:09,174 You're not mediocre. 318 00:28:09,175 --> 00:28:13,800 - Does Alice have a YouTube channel? - Yes. 319 00:28:13,925 --> 00:28:17,257 - Why does she have that? - I don't know ... 320 00:28:17,258 --> 00:28:21,050 I guess she's figured out there's money to be made. 321 00:28:21,175 --> 00:28:24,299 But is she making money? 322 00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:30,342 No, not yet. But she has a lot of viewers. 323 00:28:30,467 --> 00:28:34,758 She says lots of brands have asked her to talk about their products. 324 00:28:34,883 --> 00:28:37,550 "A lot of", not "lots of". 325 00:28:37,675 --> 00:28:41,507 - What does she talk about? - All kinds of things. 326 00:28:41,508 --> 00:28:44,549 She talks about what she likes and dislikes. 327 00:28:44,550 --> 00:28:48,092 She talks about her mental health problems. 328 00:28:49,342 --> 00:28:53,049 If she buys a new eyeliner, she makes a video about it. 329 00:28:53,050 --> 00:28:57,257 But she also talks about things we've done in class. 330 00:28:57,258 --> 00:29:02,342 She'll repeat normal, funny stuff someone said. 331 00:29:03,050 --> 00:29:08,924 She doesn't come up with much of it herself. Almost nothing, actually. 332 00:29:08,925 --> 00:29:13,508 But when she repeats something I said on her YouTube videos, 333 00:29:13,633 --> 00:29:16,217 it becomes more ... 334 00:29:16,342 --> 00:29:20,592 Not more important, exactly, but ... it becomes something. 335 00:29:20,717 --> 00:29:23,216 You know? 336 00:29:23,217 --> 00:29:25,342 Yeah. I guess ... 337 00:29:26,217 --> 00:29:29,507 Anyway. I think her skin has improved as well. 338 00:29:29,508 --> 00:29:32,508 As a result of her YouTube channel? 339 00:29:37,092 --> 00:29:42,175 - Is that why you want to start one? - No. My skin isn't that bad, is it? 340 00:29:43,467 --> 00:29:47,632 But I need to make a living. What else can I do? 341 00:29:47,633 --> 00:29:52,382 Without good grades, I won't get a good job. Or a pension. 342 00:29:52,383 --> 00:29:54,550 - Pension? - Yeah. 343 00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,216 - Why are you talking about your pension? - Someone talked about it in class. 344 00:30:00,217 --> 00:30:04,633 Jesus, you're thirteen! You can't be talking about your pension! 345 00:30:04,758 --> 00:30:09,092 - What should we talk about, then? - That's not what matters. 346 00:30:17,467 --> 00:30:23,008 Pension, comparing yourself to others ... None of that matters. 347 00:30:23,133 --> 00:30:25,508 You've got great grades. 348 00:30:26,508 --> 00:30:31,008 Compared to who? I think about it all the time. 349 00:30:31,133 --> 00:30:34,175 I'm ... I'm not good enough. 350 00:30:35,175 --> 00:30:37,592 Yes. You are. 351 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:43,674 You can't be so hard on yourself. Where has this come from? 352 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:47,132 I guess we're to blame for how you've turned out. 353 00:30:47,133 --> 00:30:51,674 - It's not your fault. - Yes. All the bad stuff is our fault. 354 00:30:51,675 --> 00:30:57,592 - Now you're being hard on yourself. - You saying that is also our fault. 355 00:31:02,342 --> 00:31:06,258 - So no YouTube channel. - No, that's ... 356 00:31:08,425 --> 00:31:11,300 - I think ... - All right. 357 00:31:13,633 --> 00:31:16,632 - Are you still working? - Yes. 358 00:31:16,633 --> 00:31:18,633 Am I interrupting? 359 00:31:22,133 --> 00:31:26,800 When you said that you're in more pain than you've ever been in ... 360 00:31:28,633 --> 00:31:31,508 That just kills me. 361 00:31:34,592 --> 00:31:36,633 I didn't want it to be like this. 362 00:31:38,592 --> 00:31:40,092 I'm sorry. 363 00:31:42,633 --> 00:31:45,008 Is there anything I can do? 364 00:31:45,133 --> 00:31:46,675 I don't know ... 365 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:50,675 Why are you wearing jogging bottoms? We're going to the garden centre. 366 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,675 I'll change before we leave. 367 00:31:57,050 --> 00:32:00,300 - Hey ... - I don't know. 368 00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:04,550 I think what hurts the most is that ... 369 00:32:05,550 --> 00:32:08,592 I don't know you ... 370 00:32:09,675 --> 00:32:11,425 ... anymore. 371 00:32:11,550 --> 00:32:15,674 I don't know who you are. I can't trust you. 372 00:32:15,675 --> 00:32:18,632 Maybe that's not a big deal, but ... 373 00:32:18,633 --> 00:32:21,674 What if you want to do this again? 374 00:32:21,675 --> 00:32:24,258 I won't. I told you. 375 00:32:24,383 --> 00:32:27,133 How can you say that? You just did it. 376 00:32:27,258 --> 00:32:30,716 And you said you liked it. How can I trust you? 377 00:32:30,717 --> 00:32:33,550 Because I'm telling you. 378 00:32:33,675 --> 00:32:36,757 - I promise. - You can't make that promise. 379 00:32:36,758 --> 00:32:41,550 Sexual urges aren't that easily controlled. 380 00:32:41,675 --> 00:32:46,217 Okay? Wait ... Why not? 381 00:32:46,342 --> 00:32:48,967 That's just the way it is. 382 00:32:49,092 --> 00:32:51,717 Is it? Okay. 383 00:32:54,008 --> 00:32:59,049 - You're just full of cliches. - Oh really? 384 00:32:59,050 --> 00:33:01,467 That's just nonsense. 385 00:33:01,592 --> 00:33:03,508 You know that. 386 00:33:07,508 --> 00:33:11,092 Of course you can control your sexual urges. 387 00:33:12,592 --> 00:33:17,382 And we've been ... Think about it, we've been together for twenty years. 388 00:33:17,383 --> 00:33:21,758 I've been trustworthy the whole time. Why can't you believe me now? 389 00:33:21,883 --> 00:33:23,757 I just ... 390 00:33:23,758 --> 00:33:27,467 I'm not even sure I want you to promise me. 391 00:33:27,592 --> 00:33:32,757 Definitely not if it's just because you think I can't handle it. 392 00:33:32,758 --> 00:33:37,674 I want you to be free to do whatever you want. 393 00:33:37,675 --> 00:33:42,757 That's what love is. Loving someone unconditionally, setting them free. 394 00:33:42,758 --> 00:33:45,549 "If you love somebody, set them free." 395 00:33:45,550 --> 00:33:51,007 I'm not doing that if I make you promise me something against your will. 396 00:33:51,008 --> 00:33:55,175 But I want to do it. I want to do it because I love you. 397 00:33:56,425 --> 00:34:00,758 Because I don't want you to feel insecure and sad. What? 398 00:34:03,133 --> 00:34:07,799 I wanted you to say that you wouldn't do it because you didn't want to. 399 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:13,049 That would have been better than you doing it because ... 400 00:34:13,050 --> 00:34:18,133 ... it makes me feel insecure and sad. 401 00:34:18,258 --> 00:34:21,925 That just makes me feel fragile. 402 00:34:22,050 --> 00:34:27,132 What you're really saying is that you might do it again, 403 00:34:27,133 --> 00:34:29,800 if I wasn't so weak. 404 00:34:30,967 --> 00:34:33,467 What are you thinking? 405 00:34:33,592 --> 00:34:37,049 - It was just sex. - Just sex? 406 00:34:37,050 --> 00:34:39,342 It's not "just sex" for me. 407 00:34:40,467 --> 00:34:44,675 It's the most intimate thing we do. It's what we share. 408 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,507 It's what you and I share. 409 00:34:47,508 --> 00:34:51,633 We're never as close as when we have sex. 410 00:34:56,008 --> 00:34:57,925 Don't you agree? 411 00:34:58,050 --> 00:35:01,383 - Why are you so quiet? - Because ... 412 00:35:01,508 --> 00:35:07,841 If you're not even nodding, it feels like you disagree or you're hiding something. 413 00:35:07,842 --> 00:35:14,092 I'm sorry. But to me, intimacy is ... this, what we share between us. 414 00:35:15,592 --> 00:35:20,717 This is what's intimate to me. Not sex. 415 00:35:20,842 --> 00:35:25,550 Well, sex is also intimate, but that's just physical. 416 00:35:25,675 --> 00:35:29,967 That's still there. That's not disappeared just because ... 417 00:35:30,092 --> 00:35:33,133 But ... Sorry, you weren't finished. 418 00:35:33,258 --> 00:35:36,549 Just because I did that with him. 419 00:35:36,550 --> 00:35:39,425 But that's precisely the point. 420 00:35:39,550 --> 00:35:42,550 Now you've shared that with someone else. 421 00:35:46,842 --> 00:35:49,675 Take your face when you're coming. 422 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:55,924 You look so vulnerable, and it's the closest I ever feel to you. 423 00:35:55,925 --> 00:35:58,717 I want to be the only one who sees that. 424 00:35:58,842 --> 00:36:02,758 I just ... I don't think I've ever ... 425 00:36:02,883 --> 00:36:06,800 Maybe there's a vulnerability there, but it's not ... 426 00:36:06,925 --> 00:36:11,383 You want to own that facial expression? 427 00:36:11,508 --> 00:36:17,799 It sounds horrible when you say it like that. 428 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:23,008 I just want to be the only one who ... There's nothing strange about that. 429 00:36:23,133 --> 00:36:29,674 No, but ... When I go to the chiropractor or the barber, 430 00:36:29,675 --> 00:36:32,466 that's also someone else touching me. 431 00:36:32,467 --> 00:36:34,507 But you can't compare those. 432 00:36:34,508 --> 00:36:37,383 You can't compare sex and physical treatment. 433 00:36:37,508 --> 00:36:41,967 Both involve someone else touching me, causing reactions and facial expressions. 434 00:36:42,092 --> 00:36:46,383 That's not the same. You know what I mean. 435 00:36:48,592 --> 00:36:52,633 What about me? What about my face when I come? 436 00:36:52,758 --> 00:36:55,675 - Do you want someone else to see that? - I guess not ... 437 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,632 I don't think I've thought about it that way. 438 00:36:58,633 --> 00:37:04,300 We're so close when you come, so I don't really know what you look like. 439 00:37:05,967 --> 00:37:08,633 That's because you close your eyes. 440 00:37:10,217 --> 00:37:11,758 Do I? 441 00:37:11,883 --> 00:37:14,258 Maybe I do. 442 00:37:14,967 --> 00:37:20,425 I feel you in my body, of course, but your face ... I don't know. 443 00:37:20,550 --> 00:37:23,342 You must have seen it. 444 00:37:24,425 --> 00:37:27,800 I can't think straight right now. 445 00:37:29,550 --> 00:37:32,800 - Did you see his facial expression? - No. 446 00:37:34,175 --> 00:37:38,508 But you ... felt him in your body? 447 00:37:38,633 --> 00:37:43,550 I have to ask. I don't know how men have sex with each other. 448 00:37:44,508 --> 00:37:48,008 - Like, what did you do? - What we did? 449 00:37:49,508 --> 00:37:52,007 No, I mean ... 450 00:37:52,008 --> 00:37:54,883 I don't know if I want to talk about it. 451 00:37:55,675 --> 00:38:01,967 Why not? You don't usually mind talking about sex. 452 00:38:03,467 --> 00:38:06,049 No. 453 00:38:06,050 --> 00:38:10,050 He started ... 454 00:38:15,092 --> 00:38:17,050 He started ... 455 00:38:18,300 --> 00:38:20,716 ... by touching me. 456 00:38:20,717 --> 00:38:22,508 My groin. 457 00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:27,258 Outside my trousers. And then ... 458 00:38:31,050 --> 00:38:33,842 Did you touch him back? 459 00:38:33,967 --> 00:38:35,758 What else? 460 00:38:38,342 --> 00:38:40,050 Then, he ... 461 00:38:41,842 --> 00:38:46,508 Then he undid my fly and ... 462 00:38:50,217 --> 00:38:53,133 This is unnecessary. You can imagine what happened. 463 00:38:53,258 --> 00:38:57,258 No, I can't. I want you to tell me. 464 00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,091 All right. Well, he ... 465 00:39:01,092 --> 00:39:05,592 He started ... touching me, on my ... 466 00:39:07,508 --> 00:39:11,092 Did you undo his fly as well? 467 00:39:13,217 --> 00:39:15,550 Did you kiss him? 468 00:39:18,092 --> 00:39:22,258 - Yeah, I had to. - You had to? 469 00:39:23,258 --> 00:39:25,883 Well, I did. 470 00:39:29,508 --> 00:39:32,549 And then ... 471 00:39:32,550 --> 00:39:36,966 Did you just stand there and touch each other? 472 00:39:36,967 --> 00:39:41,217 Did you do anything else? Please answer me. 473 00:39:41,342 --> 00:39:43,508 Please. 474 00:39:46,383 --> 00:39:51,133 We stood like that for a bit, and then ... 475 00:39:53,133 --> 00:39:56,758 - And then, I guess he took me from behind. - You "guess"? 476 00:39:58,467 --> 00:40:01,842 He fucked you in the ass? 477 00:40:04,217 --> 00:40:06,883 Did you have anal sex? 478 00:40:08,967 --> 00:40:10,508 Yes. 479 00:40:16,592 --> 00:40:18,508 Yeah, I ... 480 00:40:21,175 --> 00:40:22,842 Was he ... 481 00:40:22,967 --> 00:40:25,758 Or, what did he look like? 482 00:40:36,175 --> 00:40:39,757 He was a bit older than me. 483 00:40:39,758 --> 00:40:41,467 Taller. 484 00:40:44,758 --> 00:40:46,299 His hair was thinning. 485 00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:48,383 Fat? Skinny? 486 00:40:49,592 --> 00:40:52,799 A bit stockier than me. 487 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:57,592 - Was he handsome? - Handsome? No ... 488 00:41:00,175 --> 00:41:03,092 Quite charming, I guess. 489 00:41:03,217 --> 00:41:07,217 - He was very friendly. - Friendly? 490 00:41:14,467 --> 00:41:16,758 Wasn't it painful? 491 00:41:19,300 --> 00:41:22,217 Yes, a bit, maybe. At first. 492 00:41:25,217 --> 00:41:27,508 And then it felt good? 493 00:41:30,217 --> 00:41:32,258 Did he come? 494 00:41:33,467 --> 00:41:36,217 And you, did you come too? 495 00:41:37,383 --> 00:41:38,842 But... 496 00:41:39,592 --> 00:41:43,299 It's... What was it like ... 497 00:41:43,300 --> 00:41:48,132 Was your ass sore afterwards? 498 00:41:48,133 --> 00:41:52,507 Yeah, I guess. A bit. 499 00:41:52,508 --> 00:41:54,799 A bit? 500 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,175 I don't want to talk about this. 501 00:41:59,592 --> 00:42:04,257 Surely you can tell me whether your ass was sore after? 502 00:42:04,258 --> 00:42:07,382 Yes, it was a bit sore. 503 00:42:07,383 --> 00:42:10,299 - Hello! - Hi! 504 00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:13,092 I'm done talking about this. 505 00:42:13,217 --> 00:42:16,258 It was just completely different. Okay? 506 00:42:17,467 --> 00:42:19,883 I'm not going to do it again. 507 00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:25,925 What's up? 508 00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:34,216 I can explain. 509 00:42:34,217 --> 00:42:38,799 My son here is in a marching band and I sing in a choir. 510 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:43,841 Several of the people in the choir have children in the marching band. 511 00:42:43,842 --> 00:42:47,092 Because the choir conductor also conducts the marching band. 512 00:42:47,217 --> 00:42:50,882 She's recruited us, and she's very ambitious. 513 00:42:50,883 --> 00:42:57,342 Now we're having a joint concert, and I'm singing a solo. 514 00:42:58,675 --> 00:43:02,342 And that ... I don't have much of a voice ... 515 00:43:02,467 --> 00:43:05,757 What kind of choir is it? A church choir? 516 00:43:05,758 --> 00:43:09,383 It's just a normal choir. 517 00:43:11,383 --> 00:43:17,674 But over the last few days, my voice has sounded so different. 518 00:43:17,675 --> 00:43:21,092 - Different? - It just changed all of a sudden. 519 00:43:21,217 --> 00:43:23,675 - Changed how? - Have you seen this before? 520 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:28,341 - How has it changed? - It's become ... more ... 521 00:43:28,342 --> 00:43:31,716 It's drier, and higher, and further back. 522 00:43:31,717 --> 00:43:34,591 It's hard to explain. It's just the past few days. 523 00:43:34,592 --> 00:43:36,966 Has something happened? 524 00:43:36,967 --> 00:43:41,382 Something that might have stressed you out? 525 00:43:41,383 --> 00:43:46,591 I'm not a psychologist, but it's not unheard of 526 00:43:46,592 --> 00:43:50,091 for people to have experiences which deeply affect them. 527 00:43:50,092 --> 00:43:54,424 Not necessarily anything traumatic, just something that ... 528 00:43:54,425 --> 00:43:59,424 Something stress-inducing, which can affect the voice. 529 00:43:59,425 --> 00:44:04,382 Uh ... I don't know, really. 530 00:44:04,383 --> 00:44:09,675 I sing in the shower, and yesterday my voice suddenly sounded so different. 531 00:44:10,425 --> 00:44:14,382 I feel like my speaking voice has changed as well. 532 00:44:14,383 --> 00:44:19,592 Your speaking voice too? Do you have a sore throat? 533 00:44:19,717 --> 00:44:22,507 No, it's not really that. 534 00:44:22,508 --> 00:44:28,300 You wouldn't know if I sound different, since we've never met before. 535 00:44:28,425 --> 00:44:31,424 Does he sound different to you? 536 00:44:31,425 --> 00:44:35,300 Not really. Maybe a bit higher? 537 00:44:37,258 --> 00:44:39,424 Let's hear it, then. 538 00:44:39,425 --> 00:44:43,550 - If you ... - What do you want me to sing? 539 00:44:44,842 --> 00:44:49,425 Anything. Sing whatever you were singing in the shower. 540 00:44:53,425 --> 00:44:59,467 Ingerid Sletten from Sildejord Had neither silks nor fur 541 00:45:00,467 --> 00:45:06,717 Just a little cap made of coloured wool That her mother had given to her 542 00:45:06,842 --> 00:45:10,299 Great! But when you were singing now ... 543 00:45:10,300 --> 00:45:15,507 It sounds like you might have a tongue blockage. 544 00:45:15,508 --> 00:45:22,549 The tongue is a muscle, and if it tenses up for whatever reason, 545 00:45:22,550 --> 00:45:27,466 it can become an obstruction in the oral cavity. 546 00:45:27,467 --> 00:45:30,800 And that can affect the sound of your voice. 547 00:45:32,258 --> 00:45:33,842 Let's see. 548 00:45:37,342 --> 00:45:40,507 Can you just stick your tongue out? 549 00:45:40,508 --> 00:45:44,507 - Like this? - Is that as far as it goes? 550 00:45:44,508 --> 00:45:50,258 I'm going to stretch it and see if the muscle relaxes. 551 00:46:02,342 --> 00:46:04,799 Does it hurt? 552 00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:08,550 It's uncomfortable, but I can feel it relaxing. 553 00:46:11,050 --> 00:46:16,633 If you can get rid of whatever is causing that resistance, 554 00:46:16,758 --> 00:46:19,842 you will have greater control of your voice. 555 00:46:19,967 --> 00:46:24,633 Okay. But what's caused this? A tense tongue? 556 00:46:25,550 --> 00:46:30,550 It could be a number of things. But it's most likely up here. 557 00:46:31,550 --> 00:46:32,925 And here. 558 00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,300 And maybe here. 559 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,320 Have you heard about or read anything by Hannah Arendt? 560 00:46:44,693 --> 00:46:45,493 No. 561 00:46:45,546 --> 00:46:48,160 She was a philosopher. 562 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:53,880 I just finished this book, and I recommend it to everyone. 563 00:46:53,946 --> 00:46:57,130 She ... wrote a lot about freedom. 564 00:46:57,250 --> 00:47:00,680 What freedom is and how to attain it. 565 00:47:00,786 --> 00:47:04,933 And she draws a distinction between the social and public spheres. 566 00:47:04,986 --> 00:47:08,960 In the social sphere, we are preoccupied with 567 00:47:09,092 --> 00:47:12,216 identity and belonging to a group. 568 00:47:12,217 --> 00:47:16,217 We're concerned with fitting in and being acknowledged. 569 00:47:16,342 --> 00:47:20,842 But Arendt thinks humans are so much more. 570 00:47:20,967 --> 00:47:26,717 And that we shouldn't be reduced to whatever is acceptable to a small group. 571 00:47:28,217 --> 00:47:32,342 She argued that everyone is unique as individuals 572 00:47:32,467 --> 00:47:35,716 and that we need to be part of a greater community 573 00:47:35,717 --> 00:47:38,799 which allows for differences and disagreement, 574 00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:41,966 where we can be subjectively thinking individuals. 575 00:47:41,967 --> 00:47:46,799 And that is the public sphere. 576 00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:52,632 So whereas the social sphere is fertile soil for totalitarianism and fascism, 577 00:47:52,633 --> 00:47:59,425 the public sphere facilitates the liberation of the individual. 578 00:48:03,467 --> 00:48:07,008 That's in brief, and in my own words, but ... 579 00:48:09,092 --> 00:48:14,174 Is God a part of the social or the public sphere? 580 00:48:14,175 --> 00:48:17,007 God? I don't know. 581 00:48:17,008 --> 00:48:19,425 I don't believe in God. 582 00:48:19,550 --> 00:48:22,092 Maybe both. 583 00:48:25,633 --> 00:48:31,674 But how does that relate to the voice, do you think? 584 00:48:31,675 --> 00:48:33,674 I just ... 585 00:48:33,675 --> 00:48:37,507 There was just something about you when you walked in. 586 00:48:37,508 --> 00:48:39,925 I'm sorry. 587 00:48:41,008 --> 00:48:44,341 Anyway, take the book. I've already read it. 588 00:48:44,342 --> 00:48:47,300 Are you ready to give it another go? 589 00:48:50,175 --> 00:48:51,800 Yes. 590 00:48:51,925 --> 00:48:53,800 Stick your tongue out. 591 00:48:55,092 --> 00:48:56,967 That's it. 592 00:48:57,675 --> 00:49:00,592 Why did you lie to the singing teacher? 593 00:49:01,717 --> 00:49:06,049 You usually sing "Tell me the old, old story Of unseen things above" 594 00:49:06,050 --> 00:49:10,549 - I guess I didn't remember it. - But you sing it in the shower every day. 595 00:49:10,550 --> 00:49:15,717 Hey! We need a couple of strong men to help us carry this fridge. 596 00:49:15,842 --> 00:49:18,467 Could you lend us a hand? 597 00:49:19,925 --> 00:49:23,300 Yeah, I reckon that's doable. 598 00:49:26,133 --> 00:49:27,633 I've got it. 599 00:49:33,008 --> 00:49:35,842 - Grab the other end. - Hold on. 600 00:49:41,633 --> 00:49:43,217 Brilliant, lads. 601 00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:05,758 Brilliant. 602 00:50:08,008 --> 00:50:12,550 Just put it here, and my husband will do the rest when he comes home. 603 00:50:23,758 --> 00:50:27,050 Lucky for us that you walked by. 604 00:50:28,633 --> 00:50:30,133 Good stuff. 605 00:50:31,633 --> 00:50:35,383 - They didn't even say thank you. - They didn't? 606 00:50:35,508 --> 00:50:38,800 They just said "great" and "brilliant". 607 00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:42,800 - Is your hand all right? - I think it got trapped. 608 00:50:43,967 --> 00:50:47,800 But you can move it? At least it's not broken, then. 609 00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:14,842 I can't think about gardening right now. 610 00:51:15,842 --> 00:51:19,258 If it was me who had slept with someone else. 611 00:51:19,383 --> 00:51:21,507 How would you have reacted? 612 00:51:21,508 --> 00:51:23,674 - You did. - No, I didn't. 613 00:51:23,675 --> 00:51:25,508 You did. 614 00:51:25,633 --> 00:51:29,841 When we first started going out, you slept with your ex. 615 00:51:29,842 --> 00:51:34,841 That was just to make sure. It didn't mean anything. 616 00:51:34,842 --> 00:51:38,967 You were really upset and frustrated. 617 00:51:39,092 --> 00:51:44,550 It was just weird that you had to sleep with him to decide you wanted me. 618 00:51:44,675 --> 00:51:50,007 I didn't understand how that could help you decide one way or another. 619 00:51:50,008 --> 00:51:52,883 What if the sex had been really good? 620 00:51:53,842 --> 00:51:56,092 Would you have chosen him? 621 00:51:59,883 --> 00:52:02,716 What was the reasoning? 622 00:52:02,717 --> 00:52:06,550 You can't choose your partner based on how good the sex is. 623 00:52:06,675 --> 00:52:10,883 If so, relationships would change from week to week. 624 00:52:11,717 --> 00:52:17,883 Before we met, we had sex with lots of people. 625 00:52:18,883 --> 00:52:23,425 That didn't matter. It was meaningless sex. 626 00:52:23,550 --> 00:52:27,383 You said that too. It was just sex. 627 00:52:29,008 --> 00:52:31,924 Now it suddenly means everything? 628 00:52:31,925 --> 00:52:37,924 I don't understand what's changed. Suddenly it's the only thing that matters. 629 00:52:37,925 --> 00:52:40,050 It's because ... 630 00:52:41,550 --> 00:52:45,925 That was so long ago. Everything is different now. 631 00:52:46,925 --> 00:52:50,382 I know that, I'm just trying to understand ... 632 00:52:50,383 --> 00:52:53,924 Why is it impossible to think like that now? 633 00:52:53,925 --> 00:52:57,383 What's changed? Is it our morals? 634 00:53:00,342 --> 00:53:02,050 What? 635 00:53:02,175 --> 00:53:06,050 - Answer me, please. - I have to think. 636 00:53:06,175 --> 00:53:09,217 I don't know what to say. 637 00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:14,217 But it's definitely not about morals. 638 00:53:15,383 --> 00:53:19,175 It's about the fact that we decided to get married. 639 00:53:21,967 --> 00:53:25,591 Marriage isn't just about restricting our sexuality. 640 00:53:25,592 --> 00:53:29,717 No, it's about being a couple. 641 00:53:30,633 --> 00:53:32,383 Of course. 642 00:53:34,383 --> 00:53:37,175 I don't know why I'm saying all this ... 643 00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:42,050 ... all this nonsense. 644 00:55:18,008 --> 00:55:20,383 There you are! 645 00:55:24,467 --> 00:55:26,800 Doesn't that hurt? 646 00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,092 It looks painful. 647 00:55:38,883 --> 00:55:41,757 What ... What is this? 648 00:55:41,758 --> 00:55:44,799 A dreamcatcher. A gift from Louise. 649 00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:48,633 She bought them for everyone on holiday. 650 00:55:48,758 --> 00:55:51,424 Do you think it's ugly? I like it. 651 00:55:51,425 --> 00:55:55,633 - Who is Louise again? - The girl who started before Christmas. 652 00:55:55,758 --> 00:55:59,467 She's been on sick leave. She got sick almost immediately. 653 00:55:59,592 --> 00:56:04,549 Very sweet girl. I've told you about her. 654 00:56:04,550 --> 00:56:10,550 She looks a bit like Marit Bjørgen. And her partner had gender-affirming surgery. 655 00:56:10,675 --> 00:56:13,133 Oh yeah ... 656 00:56:13,258 --> 00:56:17,175 Must be weird not recognizing your own reflection in the mirror. 657 00:56:17,300 --> 00:56:21,132 It's about more than your reflection, don't you think? 658 00:56:21,133 --> 00:56:25,175 It's not about the haircut or the face. 659 00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:29,258 It's about the inside. Or maybe the eyes. 660 00:56:29,383 --> 00:56:36,174 And you do whatever is necessary to make the inside match the outside. 661 00:56:36,175 --> 00:56:41,467 At its core, it's about getting to a place where you feel free. 662 00:56:43,217 --> 00:56:46,800 Isn't that why you're stretching your tongue? To be free? 663 00:56:46,925 --> 00:56:52,757 - Free from what? - Free from, free to. I don't know. 664 00:56:52,758 --> 00:56:58,174 I don't hear a difference in your voice, but something is clearly bothering you. 665 00:56:58,175 --> 00:57:00,216 Sing something. 666 00:57:00,217 --> 00:57:06,217 - Tell me the old, old story - Of unseen things above ... Yes? 667 00:57:06,342 --> 00:57:10,716 Tell me the old, old story Of unseen things above 668 00:57:10,717 --> 00:57:14,717 Of Jesus and His glory Of Jesus and His love 669 00:57:14,842 --> 00:57:18,925 Yeah, you sound completely fine. 670 00:57:19,925 --> 00:57:23,174 - Is there something else? - Now you remember it. 671 00:57:23,175 --> 00:57:25,924 But you couldn't in front of the voice coach. 672 00:57:25,925 --> 00:57:29,841 And you avoided telling her it was a church choir. 673 00:57:29,842 --> 00:57:32,216 - Were you embarrassed? - No! 674 00:57:32,217 --> 00:57:35,216 People are just so prejudiced. 675 00:57:35,217 --> 00:57:38,883 Maybe it was a bit cowardly. It just didn't feel right. 676 00:57:39,008 --> 00:57:41,675 It's not always that easy. 677 00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:45,508 I understand. Don't think of it as cowardly. 678 00:57:46,592 --> 00:57:51,216 - How's your hand? - I can't even grab the shampoo bottle. 679 00:57:51,217 --> 00:57:55,216 - Is it sprained? - I hope not. I've got so much to do. 680 00:57:55,217 --> 00:57:57,508 Sewing and playing. 681 00:57:59,217 --> 00:58:02,717 I can't play the cornet like this. 682 00:58:05,217 --> 00:58:08,216 If it's not better tomorrow, we'll go see the doctor. 683 00:58:08,217 --> 00:58:10,342 It has to be. 684 00:58:12,258 --> 00:58:14,467 Sleep tight. Good night. 685 00:58:23,925 --> 00:58:27,925 Hans Petter doesn't understand why you can't ask people how much they make. 686 00:58:30,258 --> 00:58:32,257 What did you tell him? 687 00:58:32,258 --> 00:58:35,799 He doesn't understand why it offends people. 688 00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:42,257 But I think it was quite uncomfortable for him in the end. 689 00:58:42,258 --> 00:58:46,424 He thought we were making a lot. 690 00:58:46,425 --> 00:58:51,507 But it turns out most of the other parents make a lot more. 691 00:58:51,508 --> 00:58:54,300 Can you keep your pants on? 692 00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:23,467 Hey ... It can't be like this. 693 00:59:27,342 --> 00:59:29,967 Can you please forgive me? 694 00:59:32,133 --> 00:59:33,925 Do you think you could? 695 00:59:35,050 --> 00:59:37,967 I'll never do it again. I promise. 696 00:59:38,092 --> 00:59:43,008 The libido is so strong, I don't think you can control it. 697 00:59:43,133 --> 00:59:46,341 - If so, it could happen to you too. - No. 698 00:59:46,342 --> 00:59:49,341 I don't want to have sex with anyone else. 699 00:59:49,342 --> 00:59:53,217 That's the difference between us. I don't, but you do. 700 00:59:53,342 --> 00:59:56,008 No, I don't. 701 00:59:56,133 --> 00:59:59,424 I don't know what else I can say. 702 00:59:59,425 --> 01:00:02,675 Desire is ... something that just comes over you, out of the blue. 703 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:07,717 I could suddenly want ... lots of things. 704 01:00:08,508 --> 01:00:13,382 But feeling desire is not the same as acting on it. 705 01:00:13,383 --> 01:00:17,175 Acting on that desire is a choice. 706 01:00:20,008 --> 01:00:24,842 But I don't know if I can promise to never desire anyone else. 707 01:00:24,967 --> 01:00:31,383 If you want to ... own both my body and my thoughts. 708 01:00:33,633 --> 01:00:35,467 Do you know what? 709 01:00:37,592 --> 01:00:39,717 I want you to own it. 710 01:00:41,050 --> 01:00:43,425 If that makes you happy. 711 01:00:44,383 --> 01:00:46,383 I want you to be happy. 712 01:00:47,633 --> 01:00:51,717 - I want you to be happy too. - But I'm happy when you're happy. 713 01:00:51,842 --> 01:00:54,924 But that ... 714 01:00:54,925 --> 01:00:56,883 That's not good. 715 01:01:05,175 --> 01:01:08,425 The worst part is ... 716 01:01:15,258 --> 01:01:22,175 The worst part is that a part of me ... is jealous of you. 717 01:01:22,300 --> 01:01:26,508 I can admit that I've had thoughts ... 718 01:01:26,633 --> 01:01:30,133 I've wanted to do something like that too. 719 01:01:32,425 --> 01:01:34,425 But when you did that ... 720 01:01:35,592 --> 01:01:38,466 It was so damned ... 721 01:01:38,467 --> 01:01:42,050 It's so damned painful being on the other side. 722 01:01:44,092 --> 01:01:49,132 In principle, I think we should both have that freedom. 723 01:01:49,133 --> 01:01:52,924 But if that freedom is so painful ... 724 01:01:52,925 --> 01:01:55,175 Can I endure that? 725 01:01:56,467 --> 01:01:58,757 I don't know. 726 01:01:58,758 --> 01:02:02,007 I feel completely ... 727 01:02:02,008 --> 01:02:04,550 Completely lost. 728 01:02:06,425 --> 01:02:08,008 Hey. 729 01:02:10,925 --> 01:02:14,257 No, please don't. I can't. 730 01:02:14,258 --> 01:02:15,842 I'm sorry. 731 01:02:21,883 --> 01:02:26,508 - Do you want me to sleep somewhere else? - Yes, maybe. 732 01:02:27,717 --> 01:02:30,507 No, you stay. 733 01:02:30,508 --> 01:02:33,467 I can't lie in this bed. 734 01:03:13,925 --> 01:03:15,550 What is it? 735 01:03:18,550 --> 01:03:21,466 My dreams ... 736 01:03:21,467 --> 01:03:24,549 They've been unsettling lately. 737 01:03:24,550 --> 01:03:27,008 What are they about? 738 01:03:28,675 --> 01:03:30,967 I'm dreaming that I ... 739 01:03:31,842 --> 01:03:35,132 Is the skin peeling on your back? 740 01:03:35,133 --> 01:03:37,507 - What? - Yes! 741 01:03:37,508 --> 01:03:41,550 Your skin is really dry. Is it dry elsewhere as well? 742 01:03:44,592 --> 01:03:46,592 Look at this! 743 01:03:47,592 --> 01:03:49,800 That's a bit unpleasant. 744 01:03:49,925 --> 01:03:52,842 - Maybe it's psoriasis or something. - What? 745 01:03:52,967 --> 01:03:55,550 You should get it checked out. 746 01:03:56,592 --> 01:03:58,591 Hey! 747 01:03:58,592 --> 01:04:01,674 - Is something wrong? - No. 748 01:04:01,675 --> 01:04:04,632 How's your hand? 749 01:04:04,633 --> 01:04:07,591 It's so painful I can't button my shirt. 750 01:04:07,592 --> 01:04:09,925 My goodness. Let me see. 751 01:04:15,592 --> 01:04:17,508 Is it swollen? 752 01:04:18,592 --> 01:04:20,632 A bit. 753 01:04:20,633 --> 01:04:23,050 It's not broken, at least. 754 01:04:26,175 --> 01:04:29,424 Can you take Klaus to the doctor this afternoon? 755 01:04:29,425 --> 01:04:33,050 Then you can ask about the skin thing while you're there. 756 01:04:44,092 --> 01:04:47,133 - This is my old shirt. - Yes. 757 01:04:48,592 --> 01:04:55,132 I'm off to work. Will you take the kids to school? 758 01:04:55,133 --> 01:04:58,174 How are you doing? 759 01:04:58,175 --> 01:05:00,674 I'm confused. 760 01:05:00,675 --> 01:05:03,424 - I need to talk to someone. - You can talk to me. 761 01:05:03,425 --> 01:05:08,882 Someone else. I'm meeting Hanne after work. 762 01:05:08,883 --> 01:05:10,467 I see. 763 01:05:11,675 --> 01:05:14,508 Are you going to tell her everything? 764 01:05:14,633 --> 01:05:16,924 Yes ... 765 01:05:16,925 --> 01:05:19,882 Are you uncomfortable with that? 766 01:05:19,883 --> 01:05:25,675 - It's just that it's about me. - It's about me too. 767 01:05:28,092 --> 01:05:30,674 Where are you meeting her? Are you having dinner? 768 01:05:30,675 --> 01:05:36,007 We're just getting coffee at a café near work. 769 01:05:36,008 --> 01:05:40,424 I'll let you know if we end up getting dinner. 770 01:05:40,425 --> 01:05:42,008 Bye. 771 01:05:55,092 --> 01:05:57,258 Hey. 772 01:05:58,717 --> 01:06:02,342 - Were you in a good mood that day? - What do you mean? 773 01:06:02,467 --> 01:06:06,799 Yeah, I guess. Why do you ask? 774 01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:10,716 Your back is straight when you're in a good mood. 775 01:06:10,717 --> 01:06:15,674 Bursting with confidence. That's very attractive. 776 01:06:15,675 --> 01:06:21,674 It's like you're open to anyone or anything. 777 01:06:21,675 --> 01:06:24,800 My mum used to call it being easy. 778 01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:27,883 I don't know. 779 01:07:05,717 --> 01:07:07,758 Why are you so stupid? 780 01:07:30,800 --> 01:07:33,507 Me and my husband put it on. 781 01:07:33,508 --> 01:07:37,300 This is a fire trap in its current state. 782 01:07:37,425 --> 01:07:38,550 Really? 783 01:09:08,550 --> 01:09:12,257 - Shall I come up? - Yes. 784 01:09:12,382 --> 01:09:14,674 I think you should. 785 01:09:14,675 --> 01:09:16,382 Okay. 786 01:09:34,925 --> 01:09:36,757 Hey. 787 01:09:39,842 --> 01:09:41,841 Are you alright? 788 01:09:41,842 --> 01:09:46,256 I'm sorry, I had a dizzy spell. I started shaking. 789 01:09:46,257 --> 01:09:51,881 I see. Terje is on a job around the corner. Why didn't you call him? 790 01:09:51,882 --> 01:09:56,300 He was going to the hardware store, so I thought I'd rather call you. 791 01:09:57,092 --> 01:10:02,883 Okay. Do you want help getting down, or should we just sit for a bit? 792 01:10:17,967 --> 01:10:23,300 People are so strange. These people had covered the fireplace with wallpaper. 793 01:10:23,425 --> 01:10:28,050 - I've seen that before. - I know, it just upset me. 794 01:10:30,883 --> 01:10:36,549 And all day I've been thinking about what I told you yesterday. 795 01:10:36,550 --> 01:10:40,383 My wife and I were talking all night last night. 796 01:10:40,508 --> 01:10:44,133 - I've hardly slept. - I thought it might be that. 797 01:10:45,925 --> 01:10:48,008 It wasn't that easy after all? 798 01:10:54,842 --> 01:10:57,592 Maybe I shouldn't have told her. 799 01:10:59,633 --> 01:11:04,966 But that wouldn't have felt right. Then it would feel like cheating. 800 01:11:04,967 --> 01:11:09,008 - Am I way off base? - I don't know ... 801 01:11:11,717 --> 01:11:15,008 At least you know what you're feeling. 802 01:11:18,883 --> 01:11:22,132 Still, I can't quite believe you thought it would be that easy. 803 01:11:22,133 --> 01:11:25,132 That was perhaps a tad naive. 804 01:11:25,133 --> 01:11:28,466 You tried to do the impossible. 805 01:11:28,467 --> 01:11:31,383 I haven't tried to do anything. 806 01:11:33,050 --> 01:11:37,049 I'm so worried everything is ... unravelling. 807 01:11:37,050 --> 01:11:40,925 No, that's ... Well, maybe ... 808 01:11:42,050 --> 01:11:45,092 If it's any consolation, you're not the only one. 809 01:11:47,383 --> 01:11:52,549 - Did you dream you were a woman again? - Yes. Well, not that I was a woman, but... 810 01:11:52,550 --> 01:11:55,382 ... that people look at me as if I were a woman. 811 01:11:55,383 --> 01:12:01,800 - But it was the same dream? - Yes. Or no. David Bowie was there. 812 01:12:03,967 --> 01:12:11,092 Or he showed up after a while. We were at a party, on this sofa, and I... 813 01:12:12,550 --> 01:12:18,091 And you were there. All the lads were there, just laughing and joking. 814 01:12:18,092 --> 01:12:21,799 Then Bowie walks in with someone else. 815 01:12:21,800 --> 01:12:25,258 He spots me across the room and comes over. 816 01:12:27,092 --> 01:12:33,383 He looks at me as if he's really happy to see me. 817 01:12:34,175 --> 01:12:37,425 I stand up and give him a hug. 818 01:12:37,550 --> 01:12:43,466 And I can tell you all are impressed that I know him. 819 01:12:43,467 --> 01:12:45,092 And ... 820 01:12:46,967 --> 01:12:54,133 He puts his hand out, and I take it, and then we walk out into something ... 821 01:12:56,008 --> 01:12:59,633 ... green ... and bright ... 822 01:13:03,008 --> 01:13:08,842 And as we're walking, it feels like I'm growing taller. 823 01:13:08,967 --> 01:13:14,342 This sounds completely nuts, but for me ... 824 01:13:15,342 --> 01:13:21,008 He put his hand on my back like this and pushed me forwards. 825 01:13:22,133 --> 01:13:27,591 And I can feel something in my body, a lightness. 826 01:13:27,592 --> 01:13:29,717 A possibility that ... 827 01:13:32,300 --> 01:13:37,425 - But when I wake up ... - It's uncomfortable. 828 01:13:39,425 --> 01:13:42,174 It actually sounds really nice. 829 01:13:42,175 --> 01:13:46,175 They're all nice things. 830 01:13:49,175 --> 01:13:51,675 You're so open. 831 01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:55,258 What's your opinion of me? What do you think about me? 832 01:13:55,383 --> 01:13:57,674 My opinion of you? 833 01:13:57,675 --> 01:14:00,508 You're a really nice bloke. 834 01:14:03,508 --> 01:14:06,507 - Yeah? - You're funny. 835 01:14:06,508 --> 01:14:11,299 You're a great superior. Always very clear. 836 01:14:11,300 --> 01:14:13,592 Caring. 837 01:14:14,925 --> 01:14:18,175 And you're Christian. Maybe that's part of it. 838 01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:25,633 - Do I talk about that a lot? - No, never, really. 839 01:14:27,133 --> 01:14:30,716 I don't think it affects my opinion of you. 840 01:14:30,717 --> 01:14:33,425 But maybe it affects you. 841 01:14:35,342 --> 01:14:37,966 How's your wife doing? 842 01:14:37,967 --> 01:14:43,216 She's devastated. I can't blame her. 843 01:14:43,217 --> 01:14:45,342 I've hurt her in a way that ... 844 01:14:46,758 --> 01:14:50,216 She's going to talk to one of her girlfriends about it today. 845 01:14:50,217 --> 01:14:52,883 I don't know. 846 01:14:53,008 --> 01:14:55,675 I understand why she needs it, but ... 847 01:14:55,800 --> 01:14:58,467 It still feels like a betrayal. 848 01:14:58,592 --> 01:15:03,466 - But you've talked to me about it. - I don't know what her version is like. 849 01:15:03,467 --> 01:15:05,716 How it'll make me look. 850 01:15:05,717 --> 01:15:07,757 She could say ... 851 01:15:07,758 --> 01:15:09,966 I don't think that's fair. 852 01:15:09,967 --> 01:15:16,008 You have to trust that she talks about you the way you talk about her. 853 01:15:16,133 --> 01:15:23,383 I can see why she needs to discuss it with someone, get another perspective. 854 01:15:23,508 --> 01:15:27,008 What's her friend like? 855 01:15:27,133 --> 01:15:31,257 My wife says your life is shaped by those you speak to. 856 01:15:31,258 --> 01:15:36,299 So you have to talk to people who make the world bigger, not smaller. 857 01:15:36,300 --> 01:15:38,132 I don't know ... 858 01:15:38,133 --> 01:15:42,300 Her name is Hanne. I guess she's ... 859 01:15:43,758 --> 01:15:47,217 ... someone who makes the world smaller. 860 01:18:59,550 --> 01:19:05,674 - How was school today? - Alice got her period. 861 01:19:05,675 --> 01:19:09,507 She had really bad cramps. 862 01:19:09,508 --> 01:19:13,507 She's making a YouTube video about it. 863 01:19:13,508 --> 01:19:15,133 Oh. 864 01:19:16,508 --> 01:19:20,967 - Does she talk to you about it? - That's not so strange, is it? 865 01:19:21,717 --> 01:19:24,632 She says I give her the best feedback. 866 01:19:24,633 --> 01:19:28,257 But when it comes to her period, I don't ... 867 01:19:28,258 --> 01:19:32,632 I asked her to describe the pain, and she said she was nauseous 868 01:19:32,633 --> 01:19:35,507 and that it felt like she'd eaten metal. 869 01:19:35,508 --> 01:19:40,342 And that she had cramping all the way down her legs. 870 01:19:43,383 --> 01:19:48,549 And she has to deal with that her whole life. That seems unfair. 871 01:19:48,550 --> 01:19:52,425 Not her whole life. It stops at a point. 872 01:19:52,550 --> 01:19:56,842 - Mum still gets her period? - Yes. 873 01:19:56,967 --> 01:20:00,217 But in a couple of years, she'll go through menopause. 874 01:20:00,342 --> 01:20:02,592 And then ... 875 01:20:02,717 --> 01:20:04,675 ... that part ... 876 01:20:06,092 --> 01:20:08,591 ... will be over. 877 01:20:08,592 --> 01:20:13,299 How did you respond? What did you say? 878 01:20:13,300 --> 01:20:15,591 I told her ... 879 01:20:15,592 --> 01:20:18,674 What you tell me when I think about death. 880 01:20:18,675 --> 01:20:23,133 One day we'll all die, but on all the others we will not. 881 01:20:23,258 --> 01:20:28,800 - You told her that? - I told her she should think that way. 882 01:20:28,925 --> 01:20:33,592 Some days you're on your period, but every other day, you're not. 883 01:20:34,592 --> 01:20:36,591 Klaus Melbye? 884 01:20:36,592 --> 01:20:38,591 Yes. 885 01:20:38,592 --> 01:20:40,507 I'll bandage it. 886 01:20:40,508 --> 01:20:44,591 And it might be a good idea to take some pain killers. 887 01:20:44,592 --> 01:20:47,799 - Like ibuprofen? - Or Voltarol. 888 01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:51,132 Do you usually take ibuprofen? 889 01:20:51,133 --> 01:20:53,591 He doesn't take anything. 890 01:20:53,592 --> 01:20:56,382 A girl in my class takes it. She says it works. 891 01:20:56,383 --> 01:20:59,591 - Oh yeah? - For the period pains, you mean? 892 01:20:59,592 --> 01:21:04,591 Yeah. Can you do anything to relieve really bad period pains? 893 01:21:04,592 --> 01:21:07,632 Does your friend have that? 894 01:21:07,633 --> 01:21:09,842 - Really bad. - I see. 895 01:21:09,967 --> 01:21:13,841 If they're really bad, she should see a doctor. 896 01:21:13,842 --> 01:21:18,841 Since it signals fertility, some cultures regard period pains as holy. 897 01:21:18,842 --> 01:21:21,883 They think our fertility makes women goddesses. 898 01:21:22,008 --> 01:21:26,632 So the period and the pain becomes a celebration of that. 899 01:21:26,633 --> 01:21:30,549 The pain is to be endured bravely. 900 01:21:30,550 --> 01:21:32,632 It will strengthen you as a goddess. 901 01:21:32,633 --> 01:21:37,592 It's quite powerful and optimistic. Can you tell your friend that? 902 01:21:38,383 --> 01:21:41,966 - If your mum heard that ... - Would she disagree? 903 01:21:41,967 --> 01:21:45,841 I don't think she subscribes to the goddess stuff. 904 01:21:45,842 --> 01:21:47,466 She's Christian. 905 01:21:47,467 --> 01:21:50,049 I think it's more that 906 01:21:50,050 --> 01:21:54,341 her periods are tough, and that she doesn't feel like a goddess. 907 01:21:54,342 --> 01:21:58,550 I don't personally subscribe to the goddess theory myself. 908 01:21:58,675 --> 01:22:02,674 But I can see their point, because giving birth is a special thing. 909 01:22:02,675 --> 01:22:04,757 To have your body become 910 01:22:04,758 --> 01:22:08,674 the arena for the drama that is childbirth, 911 01:22:08,675 --> 01:22:10,757 that's indescribable. 912 01:22:10,758 --> 01:22:14,007 The body becomes a battlefield, of sorts. 913 01:22:14,008 --> 01:22:17,632 There are limits, but we want to be conquered. 914 01:22:17,633 --> 01:22:20,050 It's a unique feeling of being nature. 915 01:22:20,175 --> 01:22:24,674 And having sex during the last trimester is ... 916 01:22:24,675 --> 01:22:30,300 That's very special. That your body can accommodate three people. 917 01:22:31,342 --> 01:22:33,716 That is ... Oh, well. 918 01:22:33,717 --> 01:22:38,925 That's what our periods promise. So I have to say I miss it a little. 919 01:22:39,717 --> 01:22:45,592 Right. I'll write you a prescription for Voltarol. 920 01:22:45,717 --> 01:22:47,300 Great. 921 01:22:48,425 --> 01:22:51,591 Aren't you going to ask about your back? 922 01:22:51,592 --> 01:22:53,466 No, that's ... 923 01:22:53,467 --> 01:22:57,716 Is there something with your back? I've got time. 924 01:22:57,717 --> 01:23:01,091 I suddenly got this annoying ... 925 01:23:01,092 --> 01:23:04,049 Swap seats, and I'll look at it. 926 01:23:04,050 --> 01:23:07,716 I've had some skin changes. 927 01:23:07,717 --> 01:23:09,717 Let's see here. 928 01:23:11,258 --> 01:23:13,758 I just have to lift this up. 929 01:23:14,758 --> 01:23:16,966 You've got dry skin. 930 01:23:16,967 --> 01:23:21,967 You're shedding the outer skin, and underneath it's all healthy skin. 931 01:23:22,092 --> 01:23:27,467 Nothing red or sore. No signs of eczema or psoriasis. 932 01:23:27,592 --> 01:23:32,425 Isn't it a bit odd? I haven't been out in the sun or anything. 933 01:23:33,425 --> 01:23:40,258 Just use moisturizer and a high SPF cream if you're working outdoors. 934 01:23:40,383 --> 01:23:44,092 And I'd hold off on getting a tattoo for the moment. 935 01:23:44,217 --> 01:23:46,757 That's not an issue. 936 01:23:46,758 --> 01:23:49,757 - I'd like one. - Would you? 937 01:23:49,758 --> 01:23:53,007 - I think that's nonsense. - Why? 938 01:23:53,008 --> 01:23:57,799 People should do what they want, but I think the skin is fine as it is. 939 01:23:57,800 --> 01:24:01,425 People get tattoos because it makes them feel special, 940 01:24:01,550 --> 01:24:06,424 but no matter how special the tattoo is, it covers up something truly unique. 941 01:24:06,425 --> 01:24:12,258 All the marks and irregularities which make our skin completely unique. 942 01:24:12,383 --> 01:24:14,508 I'm not a fan. 943 01:24:14,633 --> 01:24:18,841 We have a teacher who's got a tattoo which says, "I love my family". 944 01:24:18,842 --> 01:24:22,842 Sounds like serious phantom pains disguised as empathy. 945 01:24:24,800 --> 01:24:31,967 Can I tell you about a patient I had once? Or two patients. It was a couple. 946 01:24:33,383 --> 01:24:35,842 Architects, both of them. 947 01:24:41,508 --> 01:24:44,507 They met and fell in love studying architecture. 948 01:24:44,508 --> 01:24:48,550 After graduating, they bought a flat and moved in together. 949 01:24:48,675 --> 01:24:51,882 I considered their relationship to be rock solid. 950 01:24:51,883 --> 01:24:56,675 They had similar tastes, they dressed and spoke the same way. 951 01:24:58,300 --> 01:25:01,591 Even after several years, they were still in love, 952 01:25:01,592 --> 01:25:07,008 and like all couples, they liked different things about each other's bodies. 953 01:25:07,133 --> 01:25:10,924 One had a beautiful line going from his shoulder 954 01:25:10,925 --> 01:25:16,508 which never failed to arouse his boyfriend. 955 01:25:16,633 --> 01:25:20,882 There was a mole on the back of his shoulder 956 01:25:20,883 --> 01:25:23,883 which made him weak in the knees. 957 01:25:28,467 --> 01:25:33,967 And for his birthday, what do you get your architect boyfriend who has everything? 958 01:25:34,092 --> 01:25:37,383 Our architect wanted to give him something personal. 959 01:25:37,508 --> 01:25:43,217 An act expressing his bottomless love for his boyfriend. 960 01:25:44,217 --> 01:25:49,216 And since he knew that his boyfriend was mad about the back of his shoulders, 961 01:25:49,217 --> 01:25:52,882 he went ahead and had it tattooed 962 01:25:52,883 --> 01:25:58,300 with the three words he knew his boyfriend cherished above all others. 963 01:26:04,925 --> 01:26:08,757 The excitement was not as immediate as he had hoped. 964 01:26:08,758 --> 01:26:12,799 The birthday boy was disappointed at first, 965 01:26:12,800 --> 01:26:16,925 as you can be when you get a present you didn't really want. 966 01:26:17,925 --> 01:26:21,633 He tried to smile, even though he felt his boyfriend 967 01:26:21,758 --> 01:26:25,883 had defaced the most beautiful part of his body. 968 01:26:26,675 --> 01:26:29,050 It felt like a betrayal. 969 01:26:29,175 --> 01:26:31,258 He also thought the typeface was wrong. 970 01:26:31,383 --> 01:26:34,507 And since he couldn't tell him how he really felt, 971 01:26:34,508 --> 01:26:39,550 he said it was a weird choice to go with a Le Corbusier typeface 972 01:26:39,675 --> 01:26:42,591 for a Frank Lloyd Wright tattoo. 973 01:26:42,592 --> 01:26:46,174 He heard how cruel it sounded. 974 01:26:46,175 --> 01:26:50,633 He knew that the worst thing you can tell a newly tattooed architect is 975 01:26:50,758 --> 01:26:54,425 that he chose the wrong typeface. 976 01:26:55,425 --> 01:26:58,258 The newly tattooed wept with regret. 977 01:26:58,383 --> 01:27:03,007 He said he'd been thrown off by the aggressive interior of the tattoo parlour. 978 01:27:03,008 --> 01:27:07,674 And that the tattoo artist had been much more attractive than he'd expected. 979 01:27:07,675 --> 01:27:09,966 But whatever the reasons, 980 01:27:09,967 --> 01:27:12,633 it was too late for regrets. 981 01:27:14,467 --> 01:27:16,966 Who is Frank Lloyd Wright? 982 01:27:16,967 --> 01:27:19,966 A famous American architect. 983 01:27:19,967 --> 01:27:24,633 Did he come to you to get it removed? Did they break up? 984 01:27:24,758 --> 01:27:29,216 No. Luckily, people aren't that shallow. It takes more than that. 985 01:27:29,217 --> 01:27:32,633 And they loved each other. 986 01:27:32,758 --> 01:27:39,049 The man the tattoo was meant to honour, learned to appreciate it. 987 01:27:39,050 --> 01:27:42,008 He grew to regard it with tenderness. 988 01:27:43,008 --> 01:27:47,007 The reason they came to see me was something else entirely. 989 01:27:47,008 --> 01:27:48,883 Unfortunately. 990 01:27:54,258 --> 01:27:58,008 - I still want a tattoo. - I kind of want one too, now. 991 01:28:00,550 --> 01:28:03,841 Hi. Are you home? 992 01:28:03,842 --> 01:28:08,467 - I thought you were meeting Hanne? - I just got home. 993 01:28:09,633 --> 01:28:14,924 - Where have you been? - I've just been ... 994 01:28:14,925 --> 01:28:18,091 ... walking around all afternoon. 995 01:28:18,092 --> 01:28:22,425 - What about the kids? - They're next door. They called. 996 01:28:24,342 --> 01:28:28,341 - Are you writing? - Yeah, it's ... 997 01:28:28,342 --> 01:28:31,049 Yeah, I ... 998 01:28:31,050 --> 01:28:36,799 - Where did you walk? - Just around. Downtown. 999 01:28:36,800 --> 01:28:40,799 I sat on the pier by City Hall for a bit. 1000 01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:47,299 A bride and groom came and wanted a photo with me. 1001 01:28:47,300 --> 01:28:52,342 You know, it's considered good luck 1002 01:28:52,467 --> 01:28:56,092 to meet a chimney sweep on your wedding day. 1003 01:28:56,217 --> 01:28:59,758 Did you have sex with them too? 1004 01:29:06,092 --> 01:29:09,383 I'm sorry. That was ... 1005 01:29:09,508 --> 01:29:11,092 I'm sorry. 1006 01:29:15,092 --> 01:29:17,467 How was it seeing Hanne? 1007 01:29:17,592 --> 01:29:21,174 It was enlightening. 1008 01:29:21,175 --> 01:29:25,674 - What did she say? - She thinks it's grounds for divorce. 1009 01:29:25,675 --> 01:29:32,549 If Knut had come home and told her that, she'd have kicked him out. 1010 01:29:32,550 --> 01:29:35,092 But you know, that's Hanne. 1011 01:29:39,933 --> 01:29:42,146 You don't think that way? 1012 01:29:42,626 --> 01:29:43,400 No. 1013 01:29:45,400 --> 01:29:49,373 But it felt good talking to someone else. 1014 01:29:49,626 --> 01:29:52,666 I've been so tense. 1015 01:29:52,733 --> 01:29:56,186 My body has tensed up. 1016 01:29:56,226 --> 01:30:01,670 I began crying as soon as I started talking about it. 1017 01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:07,966 But after a while, I could feel how saying it out loud had loosened something. 1018 01:30:07,967 --> 01:30:12,550 By the end, we just sat there laughing, all three of us. 1019 01:30:12,675 --> 01:30:16,424 - It felt nice. - Laughing? 1020 01:30:16,425 --> 01:30:19,049 All three of you? 1021 01:30:19,050 --> 01:30:23,175 Hanne brought a friend, Bjørn. 1022 01:30:24,883 --> 01:30:28,841 So you told him everything too? 1023 01:30:28,842 --> 01:30:31,050 Well, he was there. 1024 01:30:32,300 --> 01:30:37,716 He's a psychologist, so he had his own take on it. 1025 01:30:37,717 --> 01:30:43,716 - Is that so? And what was that? - He mostly just asked questions. 1026 01:30:43,717 --> 01:30:48,342 He said I needed to organise my thoughts 1027 01:30:48,467 --> 01:30:51,841 and claim ownership of the narrative. 1028 01:30:51,842 --> 01:30:55,633 - Ownership of the narrative? - The story, then. 1029 01:30:55,758 --> 01:31:03,383 This isn't a story. It's something that's happened to us, our lives. 1030 01:31:12,133 --> 01:31:14,550 Is that work you're doing? 1031 01:31:14,675 --> 01:31:16,133 Nope. 1032 01:31:17,342 --> 01:31:23,883 Bjørn said it might help if I wrote down what I'm thinking and feeling. 1033 01:31:32,550 --> 01:31:38,883 I guess that's not something you want me to read. 1034 01:31:40,883 --> 01:31:43,508 Would you want me to read it? 1035 01:31:50,133 --> 01:31:51,842 Read away. 1036 01:32:06,633 --> 01:32:11,050 "It's what he does rather than what he says ..." 1037 01:32:11,175 --> 01:32:14,132 It sounds dumb when you read it out loud. 1038 01:32:14,133 --> 01:32:18,717 What do you mean by that? What I do, not what I say? I say lots of things. 1039 01:32:18,842 --> 01:32:22,175 Right now, what you're saying doesn't mean that much. 1040 01:32:22,300 --> 01:32:27,174 It's what you do, your actions, I care about. 1041 01:32:27,175 --> 01:32:29,592 Maybe that's why I was so hurt. 1042 01:32:29,717 --> 01:32:35,842 When you cheated, it was an action that excluded me completely. 1043 01:32:35,967 --> 01:32:42,008 I wasn't part of your world when you gave your body to someone else. 1044 01:32:42,133 --> 01:32:46,050 Did you write that down? That I gave my body to someone else? 1045 01:32:47,300 --> 01:32:50,842 I've written everything. The whole story. 1046 01:32:50,967 --> 01:32:55,967 Everything you told me. Everything that happened at that guy's house. 1047 01:33:00,758 --> 01:33:05,550 The whole story? In your own words? 1048 01:33:07,342 --> 01:33:10,342 Of course it's in my own words. 1049 01:33:13,425 --> 01:33:16,425 Hey. What are you thinking right now? 1050 01:33:24,342 --> 01:33:25,883 I don't know. 1051 01:33:32,342 --> 01:33:37,007 It's like you're making it your story, in a way. 1052 01:33:37,008 --> 01:33:39,925 This happened to me too. 1053 01:36:27,550 --> 01:36:32,550 - What are you guys doing up so early? - Klaus got up at five. 1054 01:36:36,300 --> 01:36:39,592 - How's the hand? - Better. 1055 01:36:41,550 --> 01:36:45,299 I took down that dream catcher. 1056 01:36:45,300 --> 01:36:47,758 Why? Don't you like it? 1057 01:36:48,758 --> 01:36:52,674 Turn it inside out and check. 1058 01:36:52,675 --> 01:36:57,591 What would you think if I told you that I keep dreaming I meet David Bowie, 1059 01:36:57,592 --> 01:37:01,300 and that he looks at me as if I'm a woman? 1060 01:37:04,508 --> 01:37:11,258 How do you interpret that? That it's a suppressed wish? 1061 01:37:11,383 --> 01:37:13,800 It just does something to me. 1062 01:37:13,925 --> 01:37:17,800 - Something bad? - Maybe not. 1063 01:37:17,925 --> 01:37:20,591 - Oh no! - It feels like ... 1064 01:37:20,592 --> 01:37:24,300 It's inside out. You have to undo it. 1065 01:37:25,300 --> 01:37:27,549 That goes on the other side. 1066 01:37:27,550 --> 01:37:35,383 Do you ever feel like life is just about limiting and constricting yourself? 1067 01:37:37,383 --> 01:37:41,591 This sounds a bit like a mid-life crisis. 1068 01:37:41,592 --> 01:37:45,758 Maybe that's it. I'll stop going on about it. 1069 01:37:45,883 --> 01:37:48,633 No, keep talking. 1070 01:37:49,758 --> 01:37:55,633 So he looks at you like you're a woman. Do you feel like you're a woman? 1071 01:37:56,633 --> 01:38:00,633 No, I ... Or, what does that feel like? 1072 01:38:02,092 --> 01:38:04,132 How do I explain that? 1073 01:38:04,133 --> 01:38:07,132 Does it feel like something's wrong with your body? 1074 01:38:07,133 --> 01:38:11,549 Is there a dissonance between how your body feels and how it looks? 1075 01:38:11,550 --> 01:38:14,174 No, I'm ... 1076 01:38:14,175 --> 01:38:17,175 I'm reasonably happy with my body. 1077 01:38:17,300 --> 01:38:21,383 And you don't have an urge to put on women's clothes? 1078 01:38:21,508 --> 01:38:23,799 Not at all. 1079 01:38:23,800 --> 01:38:25,925 It's not about that. 1080 01:38:27,842 --> 01:38:32,299 It feels like it goes deeper than that. It's hard to explain. 1081 01:38:32,300 --> 01:38:37,299 I think it's the fact that he looks at me in a way no one has ever done. 1082 01:38:37,300 --> 01:38:42,133 And it's so powerful that it's still in my body when I wake up. 1083 01:38:42,258 --> 01:38:44,675 It stays with me all day. 1084 01:38:46,675 --> 01:38:49,758 In what way? Is it uncomfortable? 1085 01:38:49,883 --> 01:38:54,883 At first, I thought so, because it was such a new feeling, but ... 1086 01:38:57,383 --> 01:39:00,050 ... now I kind of like it. 1087 01:39:02,592 --> 01:39:07,967 It's like I see things differently because someone looked at me differently. 1088 01:39:10,092 --> 01:39:15,342 Don't tell anyone this, but a mate from work, he ... 1089 01:39:16,592 --> 01:39:19,799 He had sex with another guy. 1090 01:39:19,800 --> 01:39:23,424 - And I think that ... - Was it ...? 1091 01:39:23,425 --> 01:39:26,425 Yes, but don't ask who. 1092 01:39:26,550 --> 01:39:32,007 Don't ask. The point is, he's not actually gay. 1093 01:39:32,008 --> 01:39:37,757 No? I think that's up for debate if he had sex with another man. 1094 01:39:37,758 --> 01:39:42,299 Homosexuality isn't just an identity, it's also an activity. 1095 01:39:42,300 --> 01:39:46,716 One he has participated in if he has, indeed, had sex with another man. 1096 01:39:46,717 --> 01:39:49,549 That's how you see it. 1097 01:39:49,550 --> 01:39:54,175 But we were talking about me, and I ... 1098 01:39:54,300 --> 01:39:58,591 When he told me about this sexual encounter, 1099 01:39:58,592 --> 01:40:03,382 he said that he'd never had anyone look at him the way this guy looked at him. 1100 01:40:03,383 --> 01:40:09,425 It had nothing to do with me, but I could relate to that bit, you know? 1101 01:40:09,550 --> 01:40:11,466 Not really. 1102 01:40:11,467 --> 01:40:14,842 This isn't about sex, with you? 1103 01:40:15,758 --> 01:40:18,883 No, it doesn't. 1104 01:40:19,008 --> 01:40:21,258 It's about ... 1105 01:40:22,842 --> 01:40:26,757 ... expectations. That ... 1106 01:40:26,758 --> 01:40:31,924 You're used to people expecting so much, and then you try to live up to that. 1107 01:40:31,925 --> 01:40:37,217 It felt good to be looked at without those expectations. 1108 01:40:40,467 --> 01:40:42,467 What are you thinking? 1109 01:40:43,467 --> 01:40:45,424 I don't quite understand ... 1110 01:40:45,425 --> 01:40:50,091 So he looks at you as if you were a woman. 1111 01:40:50,092 --> 01:40:53,799 I don't understand what's so liberating about that. 1112 01:40:53,800 --> 01:41:01,550 Being objectified or defined by others is not something I've ever enjoyed. 1113 01:41:02,800 --> 01:41:06,342 Maybe it's not that he's looking at me as if I'm a woman, 1114 01:41:06,467 --> 01:41:11,758 but that he's looking at me as neither woman nor man. 1115 01:41:14,342 --> 01:41:17,675 That he just looks straight to my core. 1116 01:41:18,675 --> 01:41:24,258 It's such a benevolent, open gaze, without reservation. 1117 01:41:24,383 --> 01:41:29,008 There were no expectations. I was free to be whoever I want. 1118 01:41:29,842 --> 01:41:31,842 Whoever that is. 1119 01:41:32,842 --> 01:41:36,591 Sounds more like God than Bowie. 1120 01:41:36,592 --> 01:41:41,549 If we were able to meet each other with the assumption 1121 01:41:41,550 --> 01:41:45,217 that love is the way and the goal. 1122 01:41:45,342 --> 01:41:48,383 If we were able to meet each other in that spirit, 1123 01:41:48,508 --> 01:41:51,799 we would be much freer in our interactions. 1124 01:41:51,800 --> 01:41:57,300 If we approached every situation as an opportunity to do good. 1125 01:41:59,842 --> 01:42:06,883 Like the guy on the radio who said the only thing worth competing in is kindness. 1126 01:42:09,467 --> 01:42:11,258 It's hard to imagine, 1127 01:42:11,383 --> 01:42:15,300 but it's a scenario in which everyone wins. 1128 01:42:18,133 --> 01:42:23,217 I don't think you should look at these dreams as a problem. 1129 01:42:24,550 --> 01:42:28,007 You could think of it as something nice. 1130 01:42:28,008 --> 01:42:32,967 Think of it as God's way of saying you can contain everything. 1131 01:42:33,883 --> 01:42:36,592 You can rest in that knowledge. 1132 01:42:41,342 --> 01:42:46,050 - What are you making? - Your outfit. 1133 01:42:48,383 --> 01:42:50,925 It's going to look great. 1134 01:44:08,008 --> 01:44:11,258 I have to ask: Are you sure you're not gay? 1135 01:44:11,383 --> 01:44:16,091 You've asked me that already. As has my wife. 1136 01:44:16,092 --> 01:44:19,467 Maybe you don't believe me, 1137 01:44:19,592 --> 01:44:24,008 I think you can have sex with a man without being gay. 1138 01:44:31,467 --> 01:44:39,342 Do you think I was wrong to do it, from a moral standpoint? 1139 01:44:39,467 --> 01:44:42,799 - Because I'm Christian? - Yes. 1140 01:44:42,800 --> 01:44:46,842 I don't think Jesus came to earth in order to ... 1141 01:44:48,133 --> 01:44:52,257 ... protect the nuclear family or interfere with people's love lives. 1142 01:44:52,258 --> 01:44:54,467 On the contrary. 1143 01:44:54,592 --> 01:45:00,342 I'm just really glad you felt comfortable sharing it with me. 1144 01:45:00,467 --> 01:45:03,133 That you trust me even if I'm Christian. 1145 01:45:03,258 --> 01:45:06,550 But that's also why I trust you. 1146 01:45:06,675 --> 01:45:11,883 I often think about when you told me you were Christian. 1147 01:45:13,050 --> 01:45:17,132 It looked like that was difficult for you. 1148 01:45:17,133 --> 01:45:19,592 And I can understand that. 1149 01:45:20,592 --> 01:45:26,467 But that you found the courage to tell me meant an awful lot. 1150 01:45:28,467 --> 01:45:34,133 I thought about that when deciding to tell you this. I wasn't sure. 1151 01:45:35,550 --> 01:45:37,133 But then I thought: 1152 01:45:37,258 --> 01:45:42,467 Admitting you're Christian must be worse than admitting you've slept with a man. 1153 01:45:43,717 --> 01:45:49,092 It meant so much to me that you trusted me enough to tell me. 1154 01:45:50,717 --> 01:45:55,467 But do you think it was wrong of me to do that? 1155 01:45:57,008 --> 01:46:00,091 I'm not sure how to respond. 1156 01:46:00,092 --> 01:46:03,258 You hurt your wife. 1157 01:46:03,383 --> 01:46:06,092 I can't approve of that. 1158 01:46:06,217 --> 01:46:10,133 No, me neither. 1159 01:46:13,258 --> 01:46:17,133 But you wish it wouldn't have hurt her? 1160 01:46:21,592 --> 01:46:25,425 Yeah, I guess that's true. 1161 01:46:30,633 --> 01:46:33,133 I guess I wish that too. 1162 01:46:34,133 --> 01:46:40,925 Because when you told me, it seemed like you'd had a wonderful experience. 1163 01:46:41,925 --> 01:46:46,966 - I don't know how wonderful it was. - Sensational, was the word you used. 1164 01:46:46,967 --> 01:46:49,757 And when you experience something really wonderful, 1165 01:46:49,758 --> 01:46:51,967 you should be able to appreciate it. 1166 01:46:52,092 --> 01:46:56,591 Even if you feel like your wife has diminished it by talking about it, 1167 01:46:56,592 --> 01:46:59,300 you don't have to do the same. 1168 01:47:00,175 --> 01:47:02,425 It was your experience. 1169 01:47:04,175 --> 01:47:07,175 You remember being penetrated. 1170 01:47:09,092 --> 01:47:11,300 You can keep that to yourself. 1171 01:47:12,300 --> 01:47:15,925 Treasure it in your heart, like the Virgin Mary. 1172 01:47:20,092 --> 01:47:22,966 The boys are in the car. Are you ready to go? 1173 01:47:22,967 --> 01:47:26,174 Can I say something before we go? 1174 01:47:26,175 --> 01:47:30,174 Sorry to keep harping on about this. 1175 01:47:30,175 --> 01:47:33,216 If we are going to be completely free ... 1176 01:47:33,217 --> 01:47:36,924 Give each other that freedom ... 1177 01:47:36,925 --> 01:47:44,300 Live without limitations, commitments or obligations ... 1178 01:47:46,217 --> 01:47:49,216 But we're still a couple, like you said. 1179 01:47:49,217 --> 01:47:51,092 Yes ... 1180 01:47:52,508 --> 01:47:55,050 We have love for one another. 1181 01:47:56,050 --> 01:48:00,217 That is an obligation whether we want to or not. 1182 01:48:03,092 --> 01:48:09,216 Love feels so fragile. So transient. 1183 01:48:09,217 --> 01:48:12,675 Yeah ... Is it hard to trust it? 1184 01:48:15,758 --> 01:48:18,507 What if you think of ... 1185 01:48:18,508 --> 01:48:21,883 ... love as a choice? 1186 01:48:23,633 --> 01:48:26,092 That I've chosen you. 1187 01:48:27,842 --> 01:48:29,925 And you've chosen me. 1188 01:48:36,133 --> 01:48:38,133 Yeah ... 1189 01:48:39,508 --> 01:48:41,258 Maybe. 1190 01:50:16,425 --> 01:50:19,382 - Hello. - Hi! 1191 01:50:19,383 --> 01:50:21,008 Wow! 1192 01:50:21,967 --> 01:50:24,050 - It's my outfit. - I see. 1193 01:50:24,175 --> 01:50:27,424 - My son made it. - Really? That's impressive! 1194 01:50:27,425 --> 01:50:31,382 - With a sprained hand, to boot. - It looks professional. 1195 01:50:31,383 --> 01:50:36,882 - Is it just you? - No, my wife and kids are here. 1196 01:50:36,883 --> 01:50:39,717 - Hello. - Hi. 1197 01:50:39,842 --> 01:50:41,424 - You look great. - Thanks. 1198 01:50:41,425 --> 01:50:43,383 - Hi! - Hi. 1199 01:50:44,383 --> 01:50:47,050 Well? Are you ready? 1200 01:50:48,175 --> 01:50:50,382 Well, I ... 1201 01:50:50,383 --> 01:50:54,300 - Are you nervous? - A bit excited, maybe. 1202 01:50:55,008 --> 01:50:56,967 Good luck. 1203 01:51:01,425 --> 01:51:04,758 His son made the outfit. 1204 01:52:10,383 --> 01:52:12,592 For I know 1205 01:52:12,717 --> 01:52:17,050 the plans I have 1206 01:52:17,175 --> 01:52:20,466 for you 1207 01:52:20,467 --> 01:52:24,050 declares the Lord 1208 01:52:26,508 --> 01:52:32,175 Plans for welfare 1209 01:52:34,258 --> 01:52:42,217 And not for evil 1210 01:52:48,508 --> 01:52:55,883 To give you a future and a hope 1211 01:54:39,175 --> 01:54:43,092 For I know the plans 1212 01:54:43,217 --> 01:54:47,675 I have for you 1213 01:54:50,758 --> 01:54:57,675 To give you a future and a hope. 1214 01:58:17,258 --> 01:58:20,842 Subtitles by Nortext 91230

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