All language subtitles for Lethal Weapon S01E03 [eng]

¶ ¶

¶ Rocket ¶

¶ Ignite my rocket ¶

¶ Don't ever stop,
she's a ten ¶

¶ She's a ten, she's a ten... ¶

Welcome to Budding Blossom.

What can I get for you today?

You know, I'm not exactly sure.

Well, I just got this new
Sativa strain in.

It's called "Jack the Ripper."

It's citrusy, high energy.

Great for work if you need

I'm more looking to zone out
to the Kardashians

after my kid goes to bed,

but I don't want the munchies.

(chuckling):
Totes.

You want "Weed Thins."

Hunger-suppressing
Indica hybrid.

I'll take an eighth.

¶ I'll tell you why ¶

¶ She got money ¶

¶ Ooh-hoo ¶

¶ Dirty sexy money ¶

¶ Ooh-hoo ¶

¶ My high-street honey ¶

¶ Ooh-hoo ¶

¶ She's knows what she's got ¶

¶ Because she's so hot ¶

¶ That's why I... ¶

(muffled):
Move!

Get out!

(tires screeching)
(coughing)

WOMAN: The female praying mantis
begins to kill the male

by devouring his jaw.

The male is simply the nearest
food source around.

When we return, the female will
lay honeycomb casings

to protect her hundreds of eggs.

MAN:
You're the perfect couple.

You've had a connection
since the day you met,

but you've been slowing down
recently.
(phone buzzing)

to revitalize your relationship
and keep that connection going.

Introducing...

(advertiser's voice fading)

¶ ¶

(gunshot)

¶ Lord, I wake up
in the morning ¶

MURTAUGH:
And RJ knows that he's
babysitting tomorrow night?

What?

Date night? Fruit and Barrow?

Oh, shoot, baby.

I think I have a work thing now.

It's okay.

We've been putting this date off
for what, four months now?

Once more ain't gonna kill us.

Four months without a date?
Mm-mm.

No. We need a kid-free,
work-free night.

So, I'll move some things
around.

Not necessary. Look,

Fruit and Barrow
ain't goin' nowhere,

and neither am I.

You're a good man,
Roger Murtaugh.

¶ Sun shining down ¶

(phone chirping)
¶ On my face ¶

Mmm. Mmm. Mm-mm.
No.

¶ Lord, I wake up
in the morning ¶

Yeah?

All right. I'll meet you there.

Duty calls.

Worse. Riggs.

(laughs)

¶ Mmm-mmm-mmm-hmm. ¶

Dude. Yo!

What the hell?

I told you I was on my way.

You said "I'll meet you there."

Yes, "there."

At the office.
Well,

"there" means
the crime scene.

Maybe in Texas.

Not in L.A.

Bailey,

tell him what "there"
means here.

There where?

Here.

What?
If I say,

"Bailey, meet me there,"
where do you go?

There.

And that's where?

Here.

RIGGS:
Okay, that's great.

I'm glad you guys
cleared that up for me.

Our suspects fled in the truck
after removing the LoJack.

There's no witnesses,

a retired cop
by the name of Ned Brower.

Ned Brower?

That's my old training officer.
Is he okay?

BAILEY: Well, he took a pretty
bad blow to the head.

The EMTs are
cleaning him up now.

(chuckling):
H-Hey, Roger!

How you doing, buddy?

I'm good.

Take it easy, there.

Oh, there?

Don't confuse the man, Rog.

My new partner.

Mr. Delightful.

Martin Riggs.

Glad you're all right.

Thank you.
Any chance
you're available

for some remedial
partner training?

Oh, hell, I need
the retraining. Look at me.

I feel like a damn fool.
I hate to break it to you,

but you've never been
much to look at, Ned.

(chuckling)
RIGGS:
Hey, Ned.

Whose money were you driving?

The cash all came
from the local pot shops.

I was driving it to the company

I work for.

MURTAUGH:
Joint Asset Securities?

That's it. Yeah,

they're some kind of, um,

financial services
for the dispensaries.

Mm-kay, well,
that's something to go on.

Mm-hmm.
Thanks, Ned.

All right.
You take it easy, buddy.

(chuckling):
You, too.

See you around, buddy.
Later.

Ned's company is downtown.
I'll send y'all the address.

Okay, we're on our way.

I'll meet you...

There?

Yeah. There.

Okay, I'm sorry,
I'm kidding.

Like, where-where are
we really going?

MURTAUGH:
So, Ms. Carlson,

how long have you been
selling pot for a living?

My clients make their living
selling marijuana, detective.

I manage their money.

In Texas,
we still call that laundering.

And in Texas, it would be.

But in California, pot is legal.
Dispensaries earn

$3 billion a year,
all of it cash, but...

they're legally prohibited
from using banks.

And what do you get out of it?

20%.
(whistles)

20%? Is that legal?

Reflects my risk.

The Fed won't
insure their money, so I do,

which is why I'm on the hook

for the $17 million

that was on that truck.

Are the deposits
always that big?

Not even close.

It was tax day.

Dispensaries have to
pay state tax

just like everyone else.

But, without access to banks,
they pay in cash.

Who else knew it was
tax day pickup?

Just my clients.

So, we're gonna need
a list of those clients.

Confidentiality is
extremely important

to my business, gentlemen.

I'll need you both
to be discreet.

Oh, we're very discreet.

I mean, me so, more than him.

But, you know, him too.

Good choice.

Yeah.

¶ I got a lot on my mind,
I got a lot on my plate ¶

¶ I got a couple of trouble,
I got some money to waste ¶

¶ I put the drinks on the tab,
you put yo ass in the car ¶

¶ It's like a weekend
at Bernie's... ¶

You ever feeling like you
made the wrong career choice?

Yeah.

The day I met you.

All right, so the house is
co-owned by a Lon Stober

They're partners in a dispensary
called Budding Blossom.

¶ Now, ooh, I got paper
and I ain't gon' chase ya ¶

RIGGS:
You ever smoke weed?

I mean, before you became a cop?

Nah, I played ball.

I ain't have time to
mess with that stuff. You?

Nah, of course not.

Straight as they come.

¶ Call a Uber, Uber ¶

¶ 'Cause I'm a scuba ¶

It stinks like patchouli oil
in here.

Hey, who are we
looking for again?

¶ Who's all with me now?
Who's all with me now? ¶

¶ Whoop ¶

¶ Whoop ¶

Excuse me.

Sorry to bother
you ladies,

but could you tell where
I would find a...

Lon Stober or Donald Duncan?

Lonnie and Donnie.

Donnie and Lonnie...

Wonder if they have a brother
named Ronnie?

That's a really
good question.

MURTAUGH:
Hey.

Don't disappear on me

when we're working together.

Try to remember that
we're partners.

You two are partners?

That is great.

How long have you been together?

No, it's not...
How long has it been, Rog?

You know, I feel
just like yesterday,

I saw him from
across a crowded room--

it was a Sadie
Hawkins Dance,

and neither one of us
had a date.

Excuse me.

Can I help you two?

Ah, let me guess:

Lonnie and Donnie.

That's right. Who are you?

Detectives Riggs and Murtaugh,
LAPD.

We need to ask you
a couple questions.

Where you guys been?
That was our tax money

on that truck!
Yeah, we know.

And we'll get to it.
But first, I need to ask...

Do either of you have a brother
named Ronnie?

Does everyone here have a valid
medical marijuana license?

Yes.
Probably.

Right.

I'm gonna go,
uh, check IDs.

¶ ¶

What?

So, how much money do you keep
with Joint Asset Securities?

All of it.

Angela knows everything
about finance,

and taxes, and all that.

She doesn't even smoke.
(Donnie inhaling)

Hey. Could you not
do that around me?

I have to get drug tested.

(coughing)

Good day, gentlemen.

We're all good in there.

Did you just...

Huh? N-No. No.

You want to go get
something to eat?

I'm famished.

¶ ¶

CAHILL:
Riggs? Hello?

I'm sorry.

Uh, what was the question?

You-you asked me a question.

A-About the protocols
in place

for an officer who
tests positive for drugs

he ingested while
in the line of duty.

Um, sorry. Yeah.

So, Murtaugh and I,
we had to go

investigate this pot party
today and, uh,

there was just a ton
of secondhand smoke,

Just want to make sure
nobody gets in trouble.

(clicks tongue)
You know.

Well, in that case,
there's a form I could give you

that would clear you
from any testing

for the next 90 days.

Perfect.

Can I get one of those?

Do you get high, Riggs?

I mean, when you're not working?

What? No. I mean,

you know, I drink a little.

Uh, social functions,
holiday parties and the like.

Self-medicating
with drugs and alcohol,

that's something I talk about
with a lot of people

in this room.

'Cause what's said in this room,
stays in this room.

(sighs)

Well, I tell you what.
(clears throat)

Why don't you talk to Murtaugh

if you think I'm lying?

I didn't say you were.

(pen scribbling)

(clears throat)

(sighs)

So I woke up this morning,
uh, with the TV on,

and, uh, you know,
there's one of those

annoying commercials where the
couples are frolicking around,

you know, overly happy.

(sighs)

And it was difficult
to watch.

What did you do?

Shot the TV.

NED:
How are Trish and the kids?

Oh, you know,
Trish is Trish.

Kicking ass,
taking names.

And, you know,
we have the baby now,

which is crazy, you know,
starting over again.

I can't believe
you're doing that.

I mean, I can't believe
you didn't just

take the pension
and hang it up.

I'll hang it up when
the bad guys do.

How's Sarah?

Sarah died of ovarian cancer
six months ago.

What? Oh, God, no.

Sarah wanted to keep it
very private.

Died like she lived.

Ned, I wish I could have
been there for you.

Well, I was married to the job

the first 20 years with Sarah,

and... the next 20 were
supposed to be ours, for us.

Best laid plans,
right?

Look at this.
Little family reunion.

This warrants a little bit
of scotch at least, right?

You know,
for this reunion,

a Babs would be
more appropriate.

A Babs!

Even better.
What's her number?

Wait a minute,
he doesn't know...

he doesn't know
what a Babs is?
No.

Are you
teaching him nothing?

It is not that
I'm not teaching him,

he's just not learning.

A Babs-- Bad Ass
Breakfast Sandwich.

Roger used to
bring me one every Friday

from the only deli
that does it right.

In Hawthorne.

Good little trainee.

(laughs)
This guy...

So you guys solve
the case yet?

Not yet.

Is there anything else
about these guys?

Uh, yeah, the one thing,
there was this smell--

this earthy kind
of incense.

What did Carlson say
about tax day pick-up?

Only her clients knew?
Lonnie...

And Donnie.

You know, for
being new partners,

you guys are
pretty good together.

Ehh...
Ehh...

MURTAUGH (loudly):
Lonnie?

Donnie?

LAPD. Hello?

Hello?

Well, we found
our pot heads.

Honey, when did
you get home?

15 minutes ago.
You were in the shower.

I pulled an all-nighter.

Two murders.
Decapitations. Savage.

Decapitations?

Mm-hmm.
Good Lord.

I just came home to get
a decent cup of coffee

before I head back
to the office.

Well, you're gonna need
some sleep when you get home.

It's a good thing
we pushed the date night.

No.

It's not a good thing.

Do we still have reservations?

At Fruit and Barrow?
I cancelled.

But I can make a call,
if you're sure.

I ran into Ned Brower
yesterday.

Sarah died.
Six months ago.

Cancer.
No.

He said he wanted to
spend time with her

once he retired.

I don't want to be Ned.

Date night... tonight.

I'll move some
things around.

Okay, if it's not
that important.

It's work.
(scoffs)

This... this is
important.

Hey, look who's here.

TRISH: Oh, gosh.
(chuckles)

Invite him in.

I love you.
I love you, too.

Hey, Riggs!

What are you doing here?

What?

I'm here.
Why?

Here is there.

No, no, no.

There is the office.

Here is my house.
(groans)

We meet there, and then
we drive together.

So now what do we do?

I'm gonna go
take a shower.

Try not to steal nothin'.

(sighs)

¶ Feels so good
to be walking... ¶

Just make yourself
at home, Riggs.

Oh, thanks.
I already did.

So how long were you
waiting back there?

I was gonna come in,
you know,

but I didn't want to
barge in on you and Trish.

You seemed happy.
Hmm.

Luckiest traffic
stop ever.

I was a rookie on patrol.

Pulled over a speeder.

Trish?
Yeah.

What'd you do, waive the ticket
and get her number?

Hell no.
I wrote the ticket.

She showed up
at traffic court.

She contested it.
Kicked my ass.

And then I got
her number.

That was one good
traffic stop.

MURTAUGH:
Yeah.

Not to be
too personal,

but things are still
kinda, you know,

frisky with us.
(chuckles)

No, please, elaborate.

I mean, you know,
I'm just saying

I don't want
to take it for granted,

because these things can
just disappear.

At any moment?

Yeah.

Sorry about that,
I, you know, I was...

You should be able to talk
about these kind of things.

Hey, you know, I was thinking,
we should talk to Gang Unit

about decapitation...

Whoa.

Decapitation can be
very disturbing.

No, that breakfast
of yours is disturbing.

This is just
not right, man.

You don't want in on this?
No.

You know, I saw
some decaps in Texas.

All cartel-related.

And they always outsourced
their wet work to local gangs.

You may be onto something.

You know,
I-I can't do this.

I can't...
I can't talk to you

while you're eating
like that.

You can't
or you won't?

Both, Riggs. Both.

MAN:
Negative.

Cartels aren't in L.A.

If you're looking
for head choppers,

try the Jamaicans.

Kingston Boys,
over on Manchester.

I'll send you intel.

MURTAUGH:
Thanks for the tip.

Hey, young man,
what's your name?

Nasty scar you got there
on your neck.

Something you can
tell us?

Just what Sarge said.
(Riggs laughs)

"Just what Sarge said."

This kid, I don't know
if he's more scared

of his Sarge
or his shadow.

I ain't afraid
of anything.

Good, because here's
the deal, Cruz.

We have two
headless bodies,

not in Mexico,
in L.A.

Okay, look, the cartels
are active in L.A.

But I hear they're
outsourcing to local gangs.

You hear?
(chuckles)

All right, man.
Good luck growing a pair.

I used to roll
with the Locos.

They'd take cartel jobs.

The Locos?
That who burned

the gang tat off your
neck after you quit?

No. I burned it off.

Look, check the heads.

The cartels use machetes.

It might get you somewhere.

Hey, Cruz.

You want to roll with us?

Play homicide detective
for a little while?

You could sit on his lap.

He'll let you play
with the siren.

RIGGS: He loves the siren.
I hate it.

Definitely a machete,
but, here's a plot twist.

The decapitation
was post-mortem.

Cause of death
was electrocution,

courtesy of...

wait for it...

a cattle prod.

They tortured him
for information.

Yeah, from the severity
of the burns, I'd say

this prod runs
at 15,000 volts.

(Murtaugh whistles)

That's 20 times stronger

than a defibrillator.

You got a pacemaker?

Yeah.

You might want to stay
away from these things.

Ya think?

CRUZ:
I know a sick banger

who tortures people
with a cattle prod.

Runs a gang out of Venice
called Los Alvos.

Sounds lovely.
Can't wait to meet him.

Thanks, Scorsese.
You got it.

(music plays on radio)

MURTAUGH: I'm not sure
if any of them are Paco.

RIGGS: We can just go ask.
Seem like a friendly sort.

Riggs, let's use this
as a learning opportunity.

Okay, I covered for you
with Avery with the...

(inhales twice quickly)

But my generosity goes
but so far.

Let's be the smart ones.

You know what, Rog?

I couldn't agree more.

Paco!

Not smart, Riggs.
Not smart!

(rap music playing)

Whassup?

You know me?
RIGGS: I mean, I know of you.

You're Paco, right?

Sagittarius, like playing
shock the monkey

and chopping off
people's heads.

Murtaugh and Riggs.

There's just two of you?

No, we got backup coming.

Yep, just the two of us.
Me and my partner.

Drove here together
and everything.

(chuckles)
Guys... here's...

¶ Dudes keep talking 'bout their
ice and all the shine to it ¶

¶ That's a white gold cross
with a real fine cubic ¶

I got him!
¶ Ma wanna fall in love ¶

¶ Like I'm Cupid ¶

¶ Telling me she don't
give ... like I'm stupid ¶

There's no nails
in that, homie.

(laughs)

¶ Get it, think about it,
the game is bad, playa ¶

¶ Ain't it bad, playa?
Don't worry ¶

¶ Joey'll change it back,
playa ¶

¶ Might've heard me spittin'
wit' Cain and Fab, playa ¶

¶ I got the set boards
to bring it back, playa... ¶

(electricity crackling)

Easy, son, don't do nothin'

stupid with that thing.

Yaaah!

(Riggs laughing maniacally)

Told you I had
your back, Rog.

(pained chuckle)

(door closes, locks)

You know the best part
about being cattle prodded?

I mean, aside from
gaining a new appreciation

for the struggles
of cattle everywhere?

It leaves
a distinctive burn.

Unique,
like a fingerprint.

Now, that's a perfect match

to the burns on my
two decapitated corpses.

CRUZ:
You just hit the jackpot.

A double life sentence
in San Quentin.

Estás muerto hoy.

RIGGS:
Paco, come on, now.

Is that any way to talk
to an industry colleague?

Look, there's no shame
in being a starter gang.

I was in one
in middle school.

It was awesome-- we had

little bells on our bikes
and everything.

CRUZ:
Better ink, I bet.

"RIP Chuy"?

Didn't know you were
a Star Wars nerd.

Don't look like the Force
is with you anymore now, bro.

(speaking Spanish)

Mucho gracias, amigo.

¶ ¶

(door opens)

MURTAUGH:
Look, the cartels used to

make billions off of marijuana.

Since the pot shops opened,
they've been losing a fortune.

They got to wet their beaks
somehow. My guess is,

some of that money was theirs.

So they send in a sociopath
with a penchant for machetes

and cattle prods. So much
for legalization lowering

the crime rate.
Is Paco talking?

All right. (claps hands)
Paco's talking.

Did you guys plan that?

Riggs? Plan? (laughs)
That's funny.

All right. In the middle of his
charmingly psychopathic rant

about how he was going to order
a hit on Cruz and yours truly,

he mentioned there's still
$17 million on the street.

Looks like that truck is
still out there. Saddle up,

big guy. We got
work to do.
AVERY: First, Riggs, go see

the city attorney.
He left you six messages.

Why does he want
to talk to Riggs?
AVERY: Wild guess,

the astronomical rise
in lawsuits

filed against our
fair city since Riggs

joined the force.
Hey, look. If you're
gonna get reamed out,

least I can do
is come with you.

I mean, you took a cattle prod
for me today.

Enjoy your wife. I got this.
If I can handle Paco,

I can handle Ronnie Delgado.
That's Mr. City Attorney to you.

You got it!

He took a cattle prod for you?
Yeah.

I wouldn't have done that
for you.

No.

¶ ¶

You know, you didn't have
to call my boss.

It got you here.

You can't keep avoiding me.

And not because
I'm your boss's boss.

Because we're family, Martin.

I know.

Thank you.

Anna misses you.

She wants you to come
for Sunday dinner.

I appreciate that. Um...

This Sunday's just not
a great day for me,

unfortunately,
though. You know.

From what I see,

it doesn't look like
any of your days are great ones.

Anna's making Miranda's
favorite.

Mole.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Look, I got to run.

I, uh, got paperwork
and stuff to catch up on.

Martin.

She wouldn't want you
to be alone.

(chuckles)

Wasn't my first choice, either,
Ronnie.

Thank Anna for the invite,
would you?

(sighs)

¶ Baby ¶

¶ You're the one I love ¶
Hey.

(kisses)

Well, thank you, honey.

You haven't changed.

Oh, I'm sorry, I wanted
to go home and freshen up,

but it was crazy
at the office today.
No, I meant,

you're just as beautiful
as the day we first met.

Did I really look that good
when you stopped me?

Why do you think I pulled you
over in the first place?
(laughs)

That's inadmissible, by the way.
I don't know...

Oh! A Rollo.

Mm.

We are celebrating.

Uh-huh. No kids, no work.

Tonight is about us.

Thank you.

(chuckles)
Honey...

(laughing): Stop!
Thank you.

(clears throat)
It's about us. Okay.

It's about us. Okay. So, now...
You don't get a chance

to say the things that
I want to say, so I-I

jotted some stuff down.
(laughing): Oh!

It's a rough draft,
and I'm... still working

Okay!
on some transitions.

but... (sniffles).
Okay. Here it is.

Trish.
Mm.

Going through life with you

has been the greatest journey...
Yours.
(phone buzzing)

Yes.
What?

(puts phone down)
Sorry. It's a strong opening.

Continue.
Okay.

Um... We're on a journey,

floating on a raft,

through a river of love.
Ooh!
(chuckles)

(phone buzzing)
Oh, shoot. That's Ned.

Well, answer it.
Nah, don't worry
about it. Don't worry.

Okay.
All right. Where was I?

Where was I?
Uh, uh... a raft...

of love.
No, no, no, no.

We're on
a river. And,

our children are
the life preservers.

Is that right? No...
(laughs)

Damn it, I can't read
my own writing.

No, it's-it's lovely, honey.

Keep going.

No. You know what?
Forget about the notes.

Okay.

I love you more each day.

And you are...
(phone buzzes)

Oh, that's Ned.

He just texted me "9-9-9."

He wouldn't use that code unless
there was something wrong.

Go. No...

Go... Go ahead, honey.
We have other nights.
Okay.

Yeah. We'll do this tomorrow.

And... I'll get a chance to work

on these notes.
(chuckles)

My thoughts.
Okay.

Okay. I'll tell, uh,
a waiter we're leaving?

Oh, no, no.
You're leaving.

I have a bottle of wine...
and a babysitter.

I respect that.

Okay.

(chuckles)
Bye.

Mm. Love you.

I love you, too.

¶ ¶

(tires screeching)

NED:
Who is it?

Roger.

Thanks for coming.

You sent up the bat signal.

So I'm here.
What's up?

We need to talk.

Ned... Talk?

I just skipped out
on dinner with Trish.

Maybe we can get
together tomorrow,

have a beer, talk.

Tomorrow's too late. Come here.

¶ ¶

(Murtaugh sighs)

Let's talk.

(drops coins into machine)

Nice dinner.

Yeah. Yours
looks better.

Mm. Doesn't it?

What?

Just a mighty big sandwich
for such a tiny lady.

I have the metabolism
of a hummingbird.

Want half?

No thanks.
Okay.

Keep that offer between us.

People will think I'm going soft

and I have a reputation
to protect.

On second thought.
Hey...

Thanks!

Paco, my brother!
What's up, ese?

Look, I'm sorry about the wait.

The traffic to the
west side was a bitch.

But I got the sandwich
I promised you.

What the hell
are you talking about?

A Godmother's with the works.
Extra pepperoncinis.

Did I screw it up?
Was it no pepperoncinis?

This cop bringing you
room service?

Man, I don't know
this guy. I don't know

nothing about a sandwich.
Come on, man!
Paco!

Now, I am a man of my word.
We had a deal.

You cooperate with
the investigation,

I bring your
beloved Godmother, I...

Easy. Get these guys
out of here.

Sit down.

Hey. You put a snitch
jacket on me.

I guess you better start
talking, or I'm gonna

personally deliver you
a basket of muffins

every day at chow.

Hmm.

(sighs)
What do you want to know?

Where's the money?

I have no clue.

All right. It's gonna
be bran muffins,

to keep you regular.

Look... I zapped

those pot store fools
for an hour.

They swore they didn't
have the money.

You believed them?
Well, they copped

to stealing the dough,

said someone else
stole it off them.

Names?
They didn't know.

Said no one else was
in on the heist, no one even

knew the money was stolen except
the... the driver they jacked.

Thanks.

Keep the sandwich.

¶ ¶

Sarah got sick.

And the doctors...
they all said
there was no hope.

Course, the insurance
wouldn't cover it,

so I mortgaged the house,
I cashed in my pension.

And I am wiped out.

That's why

you were driving the armored
truck for $14 an hour, huh?

Until those morons
nearly killed me

with a garbage truck.

So, you knew it was them
all along?

No, not at first.

I was pretty shook up.

But in the hospital,

I was trying to think
of anything, and I...

I've been making pickups
from those idiots for years,

and I recognized their shoes.
So,

you just went to the house,
found the truck,

and just drove it away?

It was so easy.

Then I heard about what happened
to those guys, and I...

I'm scared, Roger.
I screwed up.

Yeah, Ned. You did.

So, I, um...

I figured, you might as well
take me in.

Better you than the cartel.

(clatter outside)

(crickets chirping)

LAPD!
Come out with your hands up.

Hi, Rog.

What the hell
are you doing here?

I could ask you
the same question.

Ned's new ride?

Okay, I should've called you
before I came here.

Look, it's okay.

He's your old T.O.

I'm with you on this, okay?

MURTAUGH:
Maybe I can pull some strings,

get the feds to take your case.

You get a chance to hang out
with Bernie Madoff

instead of the gangbangers
down in county lockup.

Well, all right.
Yeah, I appreciate that.

Let's go. Take me in.

A... minute
of your time, Roger.

Just... one second, Ned.

(exhales)

(whispering):
We can't do this.

He won't last five
minutes in lockup.

Do I need to remind you
of our dear friend Paco?

He stole $17 million, Riggs.

I can't turn a
blind eye to that.

I agree. We need
to take him in.

So... Same page.
Tomorrow.

Tonight, we just
take the money in.

(sighs)

It's our only shot.

Rog. If we go by
the book on this,

he'll be dead in 24 hours.

NED: I know what
you guys are thinking,

and I can't let you do it.

You're not gonna throw your
careers away for me.
RIGGS: Well,

to be honest, Ned, I don't have
much of a career anyway.

MURTAUGH:
Look... I wouldn't have

made it a day on the streets
without you.

I owe you.

You don't owe me.

It's the job.

Do your job.

We're gonna take that money in.

We're coming back
for you tomorrow.

Hey.

This man's solid gold.

You take care of him,
you understand?

You can count on it.

Kiss of death.

You know, normally I would
say, uh, head to Mexico.

North might be better
for your situation.

Good luck.

I should have never let you

talk me into this.

Rog, come on,
it was the only way.

I mean, I love the man,
but he stole

150 bricks of cold hard cash.

149.

No, it was 150.
Trust me.

Let's say 149.

Damn it, Riggs, giving Ned money
wasn't part of the plan!

Uh, in fairness,
I didn't have a plan.

Yes, we did.

We were gonna turn in the money

and give Ned
a few hours' head start.

No, that was your plan, okay?

My plan is driving

this to some
beach somewhere

and settling down
like Butch and Sundance.
Butch and Sundance?

(cell phone ringing)
Do you know that...?

Ned, you'd better be
halfway to Vancouver

by now.

Rog, I'm sorry.

Sorry for what?

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna need
that money back.

There's supposed to be
an even exchange,

Ned for the money.

Two of them,
two of us.

But surprise, surprise.

Gangbangers suck at math.

I'm counting six.

RIGGS:
And a few more behind us.

Well, by my calculations,

we're severely
outnumbered and outgunned.

So, how do you want
to play this, Riggs?

You asking me if I got a plan?

Against my better judgment,
I am.

Good, 'cause I got one.

MURTAUGH:
Okay, good, what is it?

RIGGS:
It's better if
I just show you.

Buckle up.

What? Why am I putting

my seat belt on?

Wh-Why are
you putting

on your seat belt?

(tires squeal)

I do not approve

of this plan.
Let's call for backup.

Go ahead and call
for backup, Rog.

I'm not sure they're gonna
get here in time.

(automatic gunfire)

Riggs!

Is this still your plan?!

At least they're
following

the money and not Ned.

(tires squeal)

(gunfire continues)

(people cheering)

(laughs)

Hey! I'm trying
to shoot here!

RIGGS:
Oh, I'm sorry, sir,
but did you not see that

the seat belt light
is illuminated?

DISPATCHER:
All units in
the downtown area...

Riggs and Murtaugh in yet?

Not yet, cap.

Let me know when they deign
to make an appearance.

DISPATCHER:
Attention, all units,
shots fired.

Armored truck crashed
into multiple vehicles,

then overturned.

Heavily armed suspects
approaching.

Requesting immediate backup.

What are you waiting for?
Let's go!

Well, this worked
out well, huh?

If we'd have stuck
with my original idea,

we'd be on a beach somewhere,
sipping drinks

like Butch and Sundance.

Butch and freaking Sundance?

You know they both

died at the end
of that movie!
Really?

RIGGS:
I never saw the film.

MURTAUGH:
No!

Okay, now you're angry.

How can you tell?

Uh-oh.

Hi, Los Alvos!

RIGGS:
How are you?
MURTAUGH: Oh, great.

Piss them off
while they surround us.

Oh, they're gonna kill us,
anyway, Rog.
You know what?

MURTAUGH:
You're a terrible person
in a foxhole.

RIGGS:
Maybe.

(grunts)

But...

pretty good at shooting
my way out.

You ready?

On three.

Hey, Rog.
Uh-huh?

Don't make it easy for them.

Hell no.

RIGGS:
One...

Two...

Three!

(bullets ricocheting)

I'm out.

Yeah, me too.

So, what's your
plan again?

(sirens wailing)
MURTAUGH:
That...

that...
that was my plan!

(laughs)

(laughs)

OFFICER:
Get down, get down.

Get down now!
Hands on the ground!

Hands on the ground!
OFFICER:
On the ground!

All right, so, look,

you know, this time
we went with my plan.

Next time we'll go
with your plan.

All right?

Partnership.

Partnership.

(whoops)

¶ ¶

RIGGS:
This is the fun part.

to give a thankful citizen
her money back.

AVERY:
Angela's head was just found

in a garbage dump in Tijuana.

Well, we can be
in TJ by midnight

and interface with
the Mexican authorities

to get...
We're off the case.

It's the DEA's
jurisdiction now.

You guys recovered
the money,

closed two homicides,
but if you want to keep going,

there's still one open case.

BOTH:
What's that?

Fugitive recovery. Ned Brower.

Any ideas where he might be?

Mm-mm, I ain't seen him.
I don't know.

It's like he
disappeared.
Yeah.

The two of you agreeing with
each other... now that's scary.

Do you know how to knock?

I owed you a sandwich.

Well, half a sandwich.

There you go.

Headed home?

Nah. A lot of paperwork.

Riggs, you can hide
in the office.

You can hide in the bottle.

You can shoot your TV,
get high, whatever.

You don't have to talk to me.

But do you talk to anyone?

Well...

Your father-in-law?

I do due diligence
on all my clients.

He must miss her, too.

Talking to him's not
what I need right now.

It may not be what you need...

but it may be what he needs.

¶ Lost in the insignificance
of mine ¶

¶ I had no words to say ¶

¶ Now I am better ¶

¶ I implore you to say ¶

¶ It isn't right ¶

¶ But somewhere deep
in history ¶

¶ Your father pulled
the teeth... ¶

Relax, Martin.

They're gonna love you.

Well, if I was your daddy,
there ain't a man on Earth

to be good enough
for my baby girl.

You are most definitely
not my father.

Thank God.

¶ I do believe
we're only passing through... ¶

You really didn't have

to bring a gift.

Hey, it's how
I was raised.

You show a man respect,

then you earn his trust.

Texas charm.

Better get used to it.

¶ I do believe
we're only passing through ¶

¶ Wired again,
now look who's laughing ¶

¶ Me again,
and all fired up on you ¶

¶ And now she's caught... ¶

I'm sorry, baby.

Not tonight.

¶ What to say and
what she really means... ¶

(starts engine)

(sirens wail)

Come on.

I wasn't speeding that much.

Give me a break.

(groans)

License and registration, ma'am.

(laughs)

Roger Murtaugh.

If you don't get that
flashlight out of my eyes...

What? You want
another ass-whooping

in traffic court?

Not court, but first dinner.

Fruit and Barrow?

I got something better in plan.

Mm, all right.

No.

(laughs)

This is the best
date night ever.

Yeah.

It's just begun.

I've prepared
some words.
Honey.

Not tonight.

No?
No.