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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:04,560 [Music playing] 2 00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:38,229 [Seagull calling] 3 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:40,899 Things haven't been going so well for me lately 4 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:42,567 and if I come out of the closet, 5 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:44,702 things aren't going to be getting any better. 6 00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:45,733 Don't you sometimes wish 7 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,770 you could just live inside your head? 8 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,788 I've always imagined my life as a movie. 9 00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:58,415 The problem with my imagined movie 10 00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:03,020 is I think it might be boring, so I'd add helicopters. 11 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,725 Helicopters makes every movie great. 12 00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,926 And naked girls. Ladies. 13 00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:10,026 'Cause if my story is R-rated, 14 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,300 might as well go for a full "R." 15 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,869 Nobody's going to believe a guy like me 16 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,275 would have naked girls and helicopters. 17 00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:21,576 Fellas from LA or New York, where they take chances, 18 00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:25,983 yeah, maybe, but I'm just a guy from Chicago. 19 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:30,448 Did I mention I was a great football player? 20 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:33,482 People here, they don't stray from the blueprint. 21 00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,357 - [Crying] - You're born. 22 00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:38,523 You go to school. 23 00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:39,793 You get a job. 24 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:41,027 You meet a girl. 25 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:42,591 You marry the girl. 26 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:44,466 You have a baby. 27 00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,665 You move to the suburb... 28 00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:47,832 and die. 29 00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:54,044 My story, my story's an Irish Catholic story. 30 00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:09,520 A gay Chicago Irish Catholic story. 31 00:03:59,138 --> 00:04:01,129 [Quiet chatter] 32 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,875 That's my eldest brother, Father Jack. 33 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,042 The nice thing about having a brother as a priest 34 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,018 is that no matter how big a jackass I am, 35 00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:15,714 I'm a lock to get into heaven. 36 00:04:17,056 --> 00:04:18,785 You gonna save some for the guests? 37 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,419 That's my second oldest brother, Connor. 38 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:24,692 If we were the Corleones, he'd be Fredo. 39 00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:28,599 Hey, can I help you out? 40 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,967 No. Go help Luke be the life of the party 41 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:34,132 while I stay back here, unload this. 42 00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:35,299 That's Maggie. 43 00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:38,538 She's youngest and only girl among four boys. 44 00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:41,570 When we were kids, Maggie and I went on expeditions 45 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,878 in search of her lost penis. 46 00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:45,315 We never found it. 47 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:46,682 [Kids yelling] 48 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,356 - Hey, hey. - What? 49 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,856 Got a little joke for ya. 50 00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,560 Your jokes always gets us in trouble. 51 00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:04,035 - Mm-hm. - This one's a clean one. 52 00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:05,833 What kind of bees make milk? 53 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:07,533 I don't know. 54 00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:09,006 Boobies. 55 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,373 [Laughter] 56 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,207 Go tell your Uncle Jim. 57 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,837 [Laughter] 58 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,711 BO Y: Boobies. 59 00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:24,913 That's my older brother, Luke. 60 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,482 Luke's that rare oddity in an Irish family. 61 00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:28,892 He can go out in the sun with something lower 62 00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:31,954 than SPF 45 and not burn. 63 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,228 If gay marriage were legal in Chicago... 64 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,428 about as likely as the Cubs winning the series... 65 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,232 Luke would be my best man. 66 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,501 Find some cards. We'll go play some poker. 67 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:47,374 People have been dying for thousands of years, 68 00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,539 and I'm sorry for your loss 69 00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:51,277 is the best they can come up with. 70 00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:53,979 I've been told being gay is easy nowadays. 71 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,317 Not in my family, 72 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,913 where the Pope and the President, 73 00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,049 they're included in bedtime prayers. 74 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,083 Now that both of my parents have passed 75 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,789 all I've got left are my siblings. 76 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,190 It's gonna be weird not having him 77 00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,097 chomping on that cigar 78 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,068 and encouraging Luke to tell silly stories. 79 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,229 Silly? 80 00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:12,532 You know, everybody was so sad in the living room 81 00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,039 and I couldn't help thinking that... 82 00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:17,406 that's where Dad laid on the floor with that AB roller. 83 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:19,035 Aunt Rose, turn the camera off. 84 00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:20,807 Oh, no! 85 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,441 - Here we go! - Here we go, Dad. 86 00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,812 [Fart] Hello! 87 00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:27,842 [Laughter] 88 00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:34,953 Hello! 89 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:37,929 [Laughter] 90 00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,295 We still going on the fishing trip? 91 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,596 Hell, yeah, we're still going on the fishing trip, Connor. 92 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:43,363 Dad would want us to. 93 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,768 It's not like it's the seventh game of the World Series. 94 00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:47,272 Well, a fishing trip's a nice way to honor Father. 95 00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:50,764 My brother, the Father, can you get away from your flock? 96 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:52,573 Ah, Father Dreary... 97 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:56,275 Father Jack here, can you cover for me this weekend? 98 00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:58,442 Those altar boys are wearing me out... 99 00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:03,649 especially that Hugo, he's got the tightest little ass. 100 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,291 Oh, come on, guys. 101 00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:09,123 He made an altar-boy joke and he's a funny man. 102 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,288 I make one and I'm an asshole. 103 00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:11,626 That's about right. 104 00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:14,462 Nothing like an altar-boy joke to get a laugh, jackass. 105 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,728 Fuck you. Fuck you. 106 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,429 You know, I've got the third graders' confession 107 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,960 Friday morning. Let's go right after that. 108 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,700 Right, and leave the black suit at home this time 109 00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,970 and thank you for letting me borrow the tie. 110 00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,567 You should consider buying one. 111 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,475 Now, why I do that when I have you? 112 00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:29,208 Jack, I noticed the new suit. 113 00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:30,909 Armani, on sale. 114 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:34,078 - Uh-huh. - Very nice. 115 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,180 - To the old man! - BOTH: The old man. 116 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,690 May the road rise to meet you. 117 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:41,090 May the wind be always at your back. 118 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,561 May the sun shine warmly on your face. 119 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:46,394 May the rains fall softly on your field. 120 00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,400 And until we meet again... 121 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:51,198 ALL: May God hold you in the palm of his hand. 122 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:02,839 Hello! 123 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,042 [Laughter] 124 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,826 Bobby, I don't know how much longer I can do this. 125 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,420 I know. 126 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,727 We have to do something. 127 00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:21,460 My dad just passed away. 128 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,401 The excuse used to be that your dad was sick. 129 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,028 I know. 130 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:28,165 We agreed to do it after your father passed away. 131 00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,743 Just give me a couple weeks. 132 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:35,244 Fine. 133 00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:39,881 Carly is a lesbian, which makes us each other's beard. 134 00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:41,978 Our five-year fake relationship 135 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,353 is like most people's real relationships, 136 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,858 based on lies and no sex. 137 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,417 I love you. 138 00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:51,556 I love you. 139 00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,929 No, I mean I really love you. 140 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,100 I'll see ya. Thanks. 141 00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:00,105 [(music) Rock music playing] 142 00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:06,104 (music) Yeah (music) 143 00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:17,384 (music) Well, the wrecks, toss and mix (music) 144 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,914 (music) This old wheel keeps spinning round (music) 145 00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:22,325 (music) Get your kicks, take my licks (music) 146 00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:24,989 (music) This whole deal is lost and found (music) 147 00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:27,329 (music) No surprise, tell me lies (music) 148 00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:29,766 (music) I've been down this hole before (music) 149 00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:32,396 (music) Criticize, apologize (music) 150 00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:35,373 (music) Try to quit but I need more (music) 151 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,933 (music) And I'm two steps closer to midnight (music) 152 00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:40,377 (music) And I'm not turning blue... (music) 153 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:43,905 Honey, I'm going to bed now. 154 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,281 Good night. 155 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,479 What can you be doing at this hour? Come to bed. 156 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,817 I'm working, honey. 157 00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:51,288 You know, I've got to check the markets. 158 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,484 You're on that thing all night. 159 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,425 What, are you afraid to sleep with me? 160 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,587 Honey, it gives me the edge in the pit every day 161 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,154 and it pays the bills. Come on! 162 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:00,495 Whatever. 163 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:01,830 [Beep] 164 00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:10,870 (music) Well, I wish I was, I wish was with you (music) 165 00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,673 (music) Ah (music) 166 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:19,811 (music) Well, I wish I was, wish I was, wish I was (music) 167 00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:23,583 (music) Wish I was, wish I was, wish I was (music) 168 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,148 (music) Wish I was, wish I was (music) 169 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,490 (music) Wish I was, wish I was (music) 170 00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:32,019 (music) Wish I was, wish I was with you (music) 171 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:43,204 - Ah, what a beautiful day. - A beautiful day, huh? 172 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,447 You know, what shocks me is how you've been able to fool 173 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,005 your family into thinking you're straight 174 00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:52,483 for as long as you have. 175 00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:54,349 This is my boyfriend, Andy. 176 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,117 If he would keep public displays of affection private, 177 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,386 our relationship would be great. 178 00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:04,385 Unfortunately, like a bad little kitty, he likes to get out. 179 00:11:06,465 --> 00:11:08,262 - I think you're mad. - I'm not mad. 180 00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:09,631 Sounds like you're mad. 181 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,795 Hi. 182 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,861 Mmm, hey. 183 00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,998 I am so sorry, you know I wanted to go to your dad's funeral. 184 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,440 Oh, I know. 185 00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:18,568 So, how are you two big gay fag homos doing? 186 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,603 I think, uh, one gay slur should cover it. 187 00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:24,013 Uh, and we're sill incognito. 188 00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:27,679 Oh. I don't know about you, Andy, but I think it's time. 189 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,188 I think all parties have been heard from now. 190 00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:33,282 Bobby, I love you like the sister I never had really, 191 00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:36,453 but if you do not come out to the boys up north this weekend. 192 00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:38,963 I'm going to come up there and out you myself. 193 00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:40,556 Out, damn spot, out. 194 00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:43,295 Yeah, if you can tell me how to do it naturally. 195 00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:45,633 We're going to be sitting there watching the Cubs game. 196 00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:47,901 Sosa hits one out of the park, and as we're cheering, 197 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,407 I'm supposed to go, "Oh, you guys hold on a second, um, 198 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:52,878 I love to suck cock." 199 00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,436 Actually, love's a little strong. 200 00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:57,081 Fuck off. 201 00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,414 Why don't I come up there with you and we can demonstrate it. 202 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,851 - Hello! - Mm-hm. 203 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,285 Did you order soup? 204 00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:03,913 Uh, no. 205 00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:05,355 Uh, French toast. 206 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,949 - French toast? - Yeah. 207 00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:13,963 So, how'd you tell your family? 208 00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:15,193 Actually, I didn't have to. 209 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,826 I did musical theatre in high school. 210 00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:18,530 Ah. 211 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,129 All that butter on it. 212 00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:27,108 Hi. 213 00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:28,374 You guys got money on this race? 214 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,611 I do, and a lot. 215 00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,140 Who are you rooting for? 216 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:35,784 20 bucks. 217 00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,789 I'm rooting for number two, My Face. 218 00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:40,257 - My Face? - Yeah, but I tell you what. 219 00:12:40,292 --> 00:12:42,283 If My Face wins, I will buy drinks for you 220 00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:45,559 and your girlfriends all night long. All right? 221 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,895 It's gonna be a good one, too. 222 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,593 All right? 223 00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:49,623 - Mm-hm. - Check this out. 224 00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:51,135 Let's go. Come on, number two. 225 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,694 Come on. Come on. Let's go. 226 00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:54,000 - Come on. - Come on. 227 00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:55,131 Come on. Come on. 228 00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,539 - Come on. - Come on, man. 229 00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:57,803 - Come on. - Come on. 230 00:12:57,843 --> 00:12:59,105 - Come on. - Oh, yeah! 231 00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:02,012 - Come on. - Come on. 232 00:13:02,047 --> 00:13:03,981 - Come on. - Come on! 233 00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:05,449 - Come on! - Here we go. Come on! 234 00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:07,418 Come along now. Here we go! It's gonna be close. 235 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,648 Come on, My Face! Come on, My Face! 236 00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:10,814 - Yes! - Come on, My Face! 237 00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,255 - Yes! - Come on, My Face! 238 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,020 Come on, My Face! Come on, My Face! 239 00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,424 Whoo! 240 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,560 Uh... eww. 241 00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:22,194 - What? - What? 242 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:24,498 What? What? 243 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,061 Oh! 244 00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:27,834 Well, fellas, you did it again. 245 00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:29,864 Sir, thank you. 246 00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:32,737 You know, I'm not really a religious person, 247 00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:35,474 but I got to think that something like 248 00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:37,880 somebody's sexuality's got to be like kind of 249 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,646 an insignificant detail up there in heaven. 250 00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:41,016 I mean, if it's even half the place 251 00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:42,384 you people crack it up to be. 252 00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:44,355 Yeah, no, it's a great place... 253 00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,585 you know, for those people that don't, uh... 254 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:50,561 sin against nature, the Church, and God. 255 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:52,757 Mmm. Mmm. 256 00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:55,631 I don't know. I... I don't watch The 700 Club, 257 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,659 but... well, actually... no, that's a lie, 258 00:13:57,703 --> 00:13:58,931 I watch it for the hair. 259 00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:00,370 Yeah, great hair. 260 00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,204 But, I mean, didn't Jesus hang out with, like, whores 261 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,142 and lepers and all other types of scum? 262 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,042 I heard that rumor. 263 00:14:07,079 --> 00:14:08,910 Well, I would think that... 264 00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,280 at the very least being gay falls into the category 265 00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:14,252 of, you know, all of other types of scum. 266 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,086 Kiss me, scum. 267 00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:24,821 Everyone always wants to know, 268 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,094 when did I first realize I was gay. 269 00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:31,034 For me I knew I liked the sweet contrast of soft lips 270 00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:35,063 and bearded cheeks the first time I kissed my Aunt Rose. 271 00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:38,875 [Falsetto] Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 272 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,105 Go ahead. 273 00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:43,444 Father, um, sometimes I... 274 00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:45,746 I spy on my grandmother taking a shower. 275 00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:47,615 And my penis... 276 00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:51,248 it shoots out straight like a number two pencil. 277 00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:52,882 And then I rub my penis, 278 00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:54,688 rub it like I'm trying to erase it, 279 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,025 rub, rub, rub, rub, three men in a tub. 280 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,427 Rub, rub, rub. 281 00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,761 A little privacy please. 282 00:14:59,798 --> 00:15:01,925 I'm gonna kick your fucking little ass. 283 00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,457 I don't think priests should be saying 284 00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:05,094 fucking little ass these days. 285 00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:06,729 Get out of here. 286 00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:15,770 [Falsetto] Um, hi, Father, um, I've got a question, Father. 287 00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:18,305 When you touch me, do I have to confess that 288 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,818 or is that something you've got covered for me? 289 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,115 This has got to get old for you guys. 290 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,645 No, it does not, but I have a question. 291 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,555 What is the sense of having a brother who's a priest 292 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,150 if he doesn't give us any dirt once in a while? 293 00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:29,592 Yeah! 294 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:33,463 Mrs. Dornhan can't say no to the cable guy. 295 00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:34,864 Oh, I knew it! 296 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,868 She's a dirty, dirty lady. 297 00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:46,199 [Laughter] 298 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:03,427 [Laughter, indistinct chatter, duck quacking] 299 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,534 Uh, I believe that's me. 300 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,203 [Laughter] 301 00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:18,106 Where's your God now? 302 00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,241 I got to cover your ass every time. 303 00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:23,339 Horse shit! 304 00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,509 Consider it a donation to the church. 305 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:28,782 Hey, I got a question for the church. 306 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,686 Has Lisa in the confessional... 307 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:35,285 ever confessed to, uh, faking an orgasm with you? 308 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:38,592 When I get nervous, my voice, it gets real high. 309 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:43,397 I'm afraid when I actually say, "I'm gay," only dogs will hear me. 310 00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:47,198 - No. - Ha ha. 311 00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:48,536 Thank God! 312 00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:51,236 She has confessed to orgasming to the thought of other men. 313 00:16:51,276 --> 00:16:52,868 Motherfucker, that's mean shit. 314 00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:54,674 I don't know what you're laughing about. 315 00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:56,271 Well, Carrie's very happy. 316 00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,078 Yeah, if balls slappin' against her taint feels good. 317 00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:00,051 [Laughter] 318 00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:02,485 The Irish inch gets the job done. 319 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,853 I absolve you all of your sins. 320 00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:07,415 Good night. I'm going to bed. 321 00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:09,984 [High voice] Good night, Father Jack. 322 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,894 God, he sucks at cards. 323 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:15,127 Good God, he's never been good, but this was terrible. 324 00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:16,759 The Lord could help him. 325 00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:21,398 I saw it once at the swim club, it looked huge. 326 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,930 I was like seven years old, 327 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,205 and I was much more interested in all that pubic hair. 328 00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:29,237 Oh. Well, you know what I mean. 329 00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:31,078 Well, you guys, you guys are sitting here talking 330 00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:33,880 about whether Dad passed on the small weenie gene and that's OK. 331 00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:35,716 I mention his pubic hair, and I'm the asshole. 332 00:17:35,754 --> 00:17:37,915 God damn it, every time. 333 00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:40,186 I think it's time for me to go to bed, pussy. 334 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,658 Besides, I don't want to sit around 335 00:17:41,693 --> 00:17:42,921 talking about Dad's weenie. 336 00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:45,930 So, let's talk about you. 337 00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:47,090 Thank you. 338 00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:48,759 You gonna marry Carly any time soon? 339 00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:51,269 I'm thinking, no. 340 00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:52,600 Oh, I love it. 341 00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,936 Every time Lisa wonders why I'm not as sweet as Bobby, 342 00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:56,634 I just remind her how your commitment phobia 343 00:17:56,675 --> 00:17:58,233 keeps Carly hanging on a string. 344 00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:01,269 I'll give you a string to hang on. 345 00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:02,280 [Mumbling] 346 00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:05,613 Hey, did she give you the ultimatum yet? 347 00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,414 I think I got that the other night. 348 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:08,579 Good for her. 349 00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:10,110 Whose side are you on? 350 00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:11,486 She's a good girl, Bobby. 351 00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:14,048 Oh, they're all whores except Mom. 352 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,890 And Maggs. 353 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,327 Uh, um, hey! 354 00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:20,297 Hey, I'm not saying that Maggie's a whore. 355 00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:23,062 I think she's more of a victim of our times. 356 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,967 If she had been born when mom was born, 357 00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:27,130 she would've gotten married instead of going to college, 358 00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:30,608 which is key because, 'cause college is just another word 359 00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:34,078 for girl whore making factory. 360 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,603 Ha ha. 361 00:18:35,647 --> 00:18:37,205 [High voice] Fellas, I'm gay. 362 00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,511 Ah, it's got to be lower. 363 00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:40,313 [Low voice] Guys, I'm gay. 364 00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:43,014 Oh, God, what am I gonna do with my girls? 365 00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:45,684 Looking' for an answer here, boys. 366 00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:47,316 Hey, I don't have daughters. 367 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,418 Why don't you check your weed for the answer? 368 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,089 Actually, my weed guy was all out, 369 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,429 but he gave me these mushrooms. 370 00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:57,264 Never tried 'em but he said they are good. 371 00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:58,997 Care to partake? 372 00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:02,006 I'm gonna skip. Going to bed. 373 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,371 Connor? 374 00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:06,002 Oh, man, I'm... I'm out. 375 00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:08,103 All right, if you guys come out here 376 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,445 and my pants are still around my ankles, 377 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:13,007 just give me the courtesy of throwing a blanket over me. 378 00:19:13,051 --> 00:19:14,712 - Good night. - Good night. 379 00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:18,549 Oh, they taste like crap. 380 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,557 [Mutters] 381 00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,532 [Fluid trickling] 382 00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:29,534 Get the fuck out of here, you son of a bitch! 383 00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:31,536 - What is that? - Fuck off! 384 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,198 What the fuck! Get the fuck out of my house! 385 00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:36,366 Fuck you, you fuckin' animal! 386 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:37,534 You think you can fuckin' come here 387 00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:38,702 and piss all over my dad's house? 388 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:39,802 Luke! Luke! Luke! 389 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,107 Fuck me! If my dad were here, 390 00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:42,272 he'd fucking kick your ass! 391 00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:43,872 - Come on down from there, Luke. - Fuck off! 392 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,213 Fucking shit! 393 00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:46,877 It's fucked up. What are you doing, Jack? 394 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,216 We're going to get down off the bed. 395 00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:49,413 - Let's go. - Ow, fuck. 396 00:19:49,454 --> 00:19:50,682 Come on. Down off the bed. 397 00:19:50,722 --> 00:19:52,383 OK! Fuck off! 398 00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:54,824 It's OK. He's gone. You did a great job. 399 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,885 We're got to set up a 24-hour watch, make sure that fucker 400 00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,396 doesn't come back, try to pee on this house. 401 00:19:58,430 --> 00:19:59,727 - I'll get the next watch. - Kick ass. 402 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,232 Come on, let's go to bed. 403 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:02,392 If you can't catch him, Jackie, 404 00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:04,493 maybe you can keep him out of heaven, OK? 405 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,060 - Maybe I can... - 'Cause I don't want him. 406 00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:07,071 Ha ha ha. 407 00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:08,572 - Fuck off! - Shh! 408 00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:11,235 I don't want him, you know, buggin' Mom and Dad. 409 00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:12,743 This is bad enough pissing on the house. 410 00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,040 - Bad. It's bad. - Kick ass. 411 00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:15,171 Come on. Let's go to bed. 412 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,238 I know, I know. I love you, too. 413 00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:17,407 Come on, let's go to bed. 414 00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:18,575 If it was your dad, you'd be pissed. 415 00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:19,914 - Let's go to bed. - I'm sorry, man. 416 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,078 - Would you guys shut up? - Don't be sorry, man. 417 00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,245 I love you. You're OK. 418 00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:23,447 Good job there, Luke. 419 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,581 Good night, you guys. I love you. 420 00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:27,091 What the fuck was that? 421 00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:30,322 Here, um, you take care of that. 422 00:20:30,362 --> 00:20:32,091 Well, what am I gonna do with this? 423 00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:33,495 I don't know. 424 00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:36,623 I can't find shit in here. 425 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,260 I didn't do it, though. 426 00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:39,429 You never do it. 427 00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:40,995 Hey, someone's been messing with my line. 428 00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:42,131 It wasn't me. 429 00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:43,141 It's never you. 430 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,608 [Phone rings] 431 00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:45,610 Hello. 432 00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:46,872 Did you tell them? 433 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,277 Hey, hey, Maggs. 434 00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,507 Maggs! 435 00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:50,810 You didn't tell them. 436 00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:52,680 Oh, you are such a pussy. 437 00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:54,185 Ah, sweet of you to call. What's going on? 438 00:20:54,219 --> 00:20:55,846 You are such a pussy. 439 00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:57,616 Ah, you know what, hey, I'll give you a call next week 440 00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:59,749 and, uh, we'll go from there. All right? 441 00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:02,191 - I'll see ya. - Bobby, you have... 442 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:05,954 [Beep] 443 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,226 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, man! 444 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,460 You didn't tell her about last night. 445 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,331 Uh, she sounded a little preoccupied. 446 00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:12,200 It's probably that douchebag boyfriend of hers 447 00:21:12,237 --> 00:21:13,295 bitching about something. 448 00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:14,305 Ah, he's all right. 449 00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:15,465 I don't like him either. 450 00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:16,906 Ooh, an opinion. 451 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,876 An opinion from the politician finally. 452 00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:20,377 I hate his stupid ass. 453 00:21:20,412 --> 00:21:21,538 That's better. That's better. 454 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:22,877 Fuck him! 455 00:21:22,914 --> 00:21:25,314 Wait, wait, no, wait, wait. 456 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:27,181 Oh, no, no, no, it's OK, start without me. 457 00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:28,277 That's great! 458 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,344 I think we did start without you. 459 00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:30,480 I think so. 460 00:21:30,522 --> 00:21:31,955 We thought you needed some sleep there, big boy. 461 00:21:31,990 --> 00:21:33,321 I got a good night's sleep. I'm OK. 462 00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:34,552 I bet you got a good night sleep. 463 00:21:34,593 --> 00:21:37,585 Who ratted me out to father say no to drugs? 464 00:21:41,566 --> 00:21:43,261 Thank you, you're great. 465 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,031 Still doing drugs. 466 00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:46,230 You know what, I hardly even smoke anymore. 467 00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:47,670 Lisa says it makes me weird. 468 00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:49,674 I don't think mushrooms are the answer, my friend. 469 00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:51,005 You don't have any answers, man. 470 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,533 Luke, do you have anything for breakfast? 471 00:21:52,577 --> 00:21:54,044 You're looking at it. 472 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:55,068 [Laughter] 473 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,252 Come on, loser, I'm sick of beating you. 474 00:22:04,289 --> 00:22:05,347 Let's do something else. 475 00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:06,880 [Laughter] 476 00:22:12,731 --> 00:22:14,358 Shall we? 477 00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:16,367 Sounds good to me, buddy. 478 00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:17,595 All so good. 479 00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:19,729 Did you see the Palsners' new boat? 480 00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:24,034 I think our fishing's screwed over there 481 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:25,976 'cause of the sand bar counter tide. 482 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,208 Hey, look at Mrs. Palsner. 483 00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:30,407 How you doin'? 484 00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:37,949 [Music drowning out dialogue] 485 00:22:40,592 --> 00:22:42,082 Go, go, go! Come on! 486 00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:44,493 (music) So long ago (music) 487 00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:45,553 [Music drowning out dialogue] 488 00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:48,259 (music) Or so it seems (music) 489 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:54,569 (music) Well, we didn't need much, 'cause we had our dreams (music) 490 00:22:54,606 --> 00:22:55,834 Go, go, go! 491 00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:57,136 (music) Everything was simple (music) 492 00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:58,870 Go, go, go! Come on! 493 00:22:58,910 --> 00:23:02,368 (music) Life was so sweet So the baby don't show... (music) 494 00:23:02,414 --> 00:23:04,575 - [Loud pop] - Bobby? 495 00:23:04,616 --> 00:23:06,607 Bob? 496 00:23:06,651 --> 00:23:07,640 [Bang] 497 00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:11,088 Ahh! 498 00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:12,090 - What happened? - What? 499 00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:13,785 - He broke it. - No. 500 00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:16,419 [Laughter] 501 00:23:16,461 --> 00:23:18,520 You fuck! 502 00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:20,497 Pull the string! 503 00:23:26,805 --> 00:23:30,605 Bobby! 504 00:23:30,642 --> 00:23:32,735 Thank you. 505 00:23:32,778 --> 00:23:34,336 Whoo! 506 00:23:34,379 --> 00:23:36,404 It's not like the subject ever comes up. 507 00:23:36,448 --> 00:23:38,177 Oh, come on, Bobby. 508 00:23:38,216 --> 00:23:39,979 Why are you so interested? 509 00:23:40,018 --> 00:23:41,451 Because I'm tired of the secret. 510 00:23:41,486 --> 00:23:42,783 I think secrets are good. 511 00:23:42,821 --> 00:23:44,948 Yeah, well, I'm the keeper of the secrets, mister. 512 00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:46,787 If you don't do it up there, I will. 513 00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:48,190 I'd like to see you do that. 514 00:23:48,226 --> 00:23:50,626 If you don't do it tonight, I'm coming up. 515 00:23:50,662 --> 00:23:52,960 When did you become such a hard-ass? 516 00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:55,125 [Chuckles] How's everything else? 517 00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:56,964 It's good. 518 00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,162 You know, a little bit weird but good. 519 00:23:58,203 --> 00:23:59,500 Weird? 520 00:23:59,538 --> 00:24:00,505 Yeah, you know. 521 00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:01,972 Oh, yeah. 522 00:24:02,007 --> 00:24:03,406 I know. 523 00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:06,002 All right, you big fag, good luck. 524 00:24:06,044 --> 00:24:07,705 I'll talk to you later. OK? 525 00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:09,213 How are things with Gary? 526 00:24:09,247 --> 00:24:10,976 I think I'm gonna break up with him. 527 00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:12,210 Good for you! 528 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:14,650 Yeah, well, somebody's got to be tough. 529 00:24:14,686 --> 00:24:15,710 You OK? 530 00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:17,813 Yes. Stay focused on yourself, all right? 531 00:24:17,856 --> 00:24:20,381 I'll talk to you later. Bye. 532 00:24:20,425 --> 00:24:21,392 [Beep] 533 00:24:21,426 --> 00:24:23,519 [Beep] 534 00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:41,376 (music) The silence I've been feelin' (music) 535 00:24:44,549 --> 00:24:48,713 (music) Is runnin' through my mind (music) 536 00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:54,716 (music) There lies a new horizon (music) 537 00:24:54,759 --> 00:24:57,193 (music) Can you help me find the way... (music) 538 00:24:57,229 --> 00:24:58,753 - Jack! Jack! - Wait up! Wait up! 539 00:24:58,797 --> 00:25:00,264 Jack, wait up, Jack! 540 00:25:00,298 --> 00:25:02,061 Whoa! 541 00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:04,591 Jack! Whoa, whoa, whoa, no! 542 00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:05,864 Another perfect job there, buddy. 543 00:25:05,904 --> 00:25:06,871 Thank you. 544 00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:07,872 My, uh... 545 00:25:07,906 --> 00:25:10,033 Perfectly done, son. 546 00:25:10,075 --> 00:25:12,043 Have you ever been on a boat before? 547 00:25:12,077 --> 00:25:14,477 I have spent many hours on a boat. 548 00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:16,413 Uh, yeah. 549 00:25:19,117 --> 00:25:22,883 Hey, you notice the lights on over at the Avery's? 550 00:25:22,921 --> 00:25:26,220 Well, Mr. And Mrs. Avery are in Europe until October, 551 00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:28,249 which means it's Holly. 552 00:25:28,293 --> 00:25:31,729 As in make me jolly by sucking on my lolly Holly. 553 00:25:31,763 --> 00:25:33,731 I remember. 554 00:25:33,765 --> 00:25:35,232 You guys coming in? 555 00:25:35,267 --> 00:25:37,132 I think we're going to hang out here a little bit. 556 00:25:37,168 --> 00:25:38,692 I hope you didn't notice the lights on 557 00:25:38,737 --> 00:25:40,432 over at the Avery house. 558 00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:08,731 Oh, that guy's a jackass. 559 00:26:08,767 --> 00:26:10,735 I think he's trying to watch a ball game. 560 00:26:10,769 --> 00:26:12,236 I got a ball game for her. 561 00:26:12,270 --> 00:26:13,999 [Laughter] 562 00:26:14,039 --> 00:26:16,837 Oh, oh, oh, oh. 563 00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:18,274 OK. OK. 564 00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:20,107 To the bedroom. 565 00:26:20,145 --> 00:26:22,613 How do you know? 566 00:26:22,647 --> 00:26:24,308 Lucky guess. 567 00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,777 How many hours have you logged here? 568 00:26:27,819 --> 00:26:31,687 A man needs a place to think. Ha ha ha ha! 569 00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:42,993 Shh! 570 00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:45,496 No, come on. 571 00:26:47,172 --> 00:26:49,640 Oh, yeah! 572 00:26:49,674 --> 00:26:51,301 You're angry at him, aren't you? 573 00:26:51,343 --> 00:26:52,469 Come on, let me see. 574 00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:53,841 Take it out on yourself. 575 00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:55,505 - I can't see. - Yeah, you sure can't. 576 00:26:55,547 --> 00:26:57,037 Oh, my God! 577 00:26:57,082 --> 00:26:58,777 That little bra's constricting your freedom, 578 00:26:58,817 --> 00:27:01,479 isn't it, sweet pea? You can take that right off. 579 00:27:01,519 --> 00:27:02,645 Come to Papa. 580 00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:06,048 [Chuckles] 581 00:27:06,091 --> 00:27:07,490 Not bad, huh? 582 00:27:07,525 --> 00:27:08,856 Hey, she looks pretty good. 583 00:27:08,893 --> 00:27:09,951 Yeah, she might have gained a pound. 584 00:27:09,995 --> 00:27:12,657 I won't ask how you know that. 585 00:27:12,697 --> 00:27:15,632 Ha ha ha. That's right. You like the cream warm. 586 00:27:15,667 --> 00:27:17,294 Don't you, sweetheart? 587 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:23,432 I know this is pathetic, 588 00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:25,602 spying on a girl like this, 589 00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:26,736 but you gotta understand, 590 00:27:26,778 --> 00:27:30,077 I was a voyeur long before I knew I was gay. 591 00:27:30,115 --> 00:27:33,209 It's really the only thing me and my brothers are good at. 592 00:27:40,425 --> 00:27:41,949 She's completely shaven. 593 00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:45,019 I think she's a swimmer. 594 00:27:45,063 --> 00:27:46,052 Hey, where's she going? 595 00:27:46,097 --> 00:27:47,394 - She's leaving. - Fuck! 596 00:27:48,466 --> 00:27:50,024 Maybe she's getting a vibrator. 597 00:27:50,068 --> 00:27:51,535 Has she done that before? 598 00:27:51,569 --> 00:27:54,299 This is where fantasy and reality often collide. 599 00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:56,569 OK, she's back. 600 00:27:59,477 --> 00:28:01,069 Ooh, I think she saw me. 601 00:28:03,748 --> 00:28:05,716 Oh, sweet Jesus! 602 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:09,311 Yeah, get ready to lay down on the bed 603 00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,618 and tickle yourself, you naughty girl. 604 00:28:11,656 --> 00:28:13,715 - I can't see. - That's right. You can't. 605 00:28:13,758 --> 00:28:15,055 Holy fuck! 606 00:28:15,093 --> 00:28:16,526 All right, you've been there enough, just let me... 607 00:28:16,561 --> 00:28:17,892 - Just give me... - Let me fucking look! 608 00:28:17,929 --> 00:28:19,157 Did you just fucking push me? 609 00:28:19,197 --> 00:28:20,164 - Yes. - Motherfucker. 610 00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:21,426 'Cause you're not moving. 611 00:28:21,466 --> 00:28:23,457 Shut the fuck up. Fuck you, fucking spy. 612 00:28:23,501 --> 00:28:24,559 I'll fuck you up. 613 00:28:24,602 --> 00:28:26,069 Yeah, I want to see! 614 00:28:26,104 --> 00:28:27,731 Shh! Fucker! 615 00:28:27,772 --> 00:28:30,206 I swear to God, I'll snap your goddamn neck. 616 00:28:34,345 --> 00:28:36,336 OK. Move the fuck over, you son of a bitch. 617 00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:39,016 [Bang] 618 00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:40,813 - [Screaming] - MAN: What the hell was that? 619 00:28:43,788 --> 00:28:44,755 You OK? 620 00:28:44,789 --> 00:28:47,155 WOMAN: Ohh. 621 00:28:47,192 --> 00:28:48,819 Hi. 622 00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:52,120 Mom and Dad have gotta be looking down 623 00:28:52,163 --> 00:28:53,630 beaming with pride right about now. 624 00:28:53,665 --> 00:28:54,723 Well, we wouldn't have gotten caught 625 00:28:54,766 --> 00:28:56,757 if you hadn't panicked like a Nancy. 626 00:28:56,801 --> 00:28:58,462 I'm the Sally here? 627 00:28:58,503 --> 00:29:01,131 Hey, I went through that window like I needed to see it. 628 00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:05,705 All I saw was you on the ground holding your knee crying. 629 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:06,768 All an act. 630 00:29:06,811 --> 00:29:08,938 Holly is a fix-a-broken-wing kind of girl. 631 00:29:08,980 --> 00:29:10,777 She knew we were there. 632 00:29:10,815 --> 00:29:14,444 She came back after calling the cops just to keep us there. 633 00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:16,818 That icy cold exhibitionist whore! 634 00:29:16,855 --> 00:29:18,516 She totally wanted me. 635 00:29:18,556 --> 00:29:19,580 She doesn't even know you. 636 00:29:19,624 --> 00:29:20,955 Oh, she knew me. 637 00:29:20,992 --> 00:29:22,186 My name was danger. 638 00:29:22,227 --> 00:29:24,661 And you, my friend were the forbidden fruit, 639 00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:28,496 double D, every woman's dream. 640 00:29:28,533 --> 00:29:29,761 Are you kidding? 641 00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:31,632 Luke thought she fell. 642 00:29:31,669 --> 00:29:32,966 He was being selfless. 643 00:29:33,004 --> 00:29:36,132 Father Jack, she was about to fornicate with her boyfriend. 644 00:29:36,174 --> 00:29:37,971 I was stopping her from having premarital sex. 645 00:29:38,009 --> 00:29:40,341 I was doing the Lord's work. 646 00:29:40,378 --> 00:29:42,812 Hey, big of you to wear the priest outfit. 647 00:29:42,847 --> 00:29:44,212 It never hurts. 648 00:29:44,249 --> 00:29:45,716 They're going to drop the charges 649 00:29:45,750 --> 00:29:47,047 if you guys apologize tonight. 650 00:29:47,085 --> 00:29:48,609 - Tonight? - Tonight. 651 00:29:48,653 --> 00:29:50,553 Holly's so upset she can't go to sleep. 652 00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:51,816 She can't go to sleep 653 00:29:51,856 --> 00:29:53,323 because she wants my cock to tickle her ovaries. 654 00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:06,203 Hey. 655 00:30:10,842 --> 00:30:12,707 On behalf of my brothers. 656 00:30:16,548 --> 00:30:20,848 You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. 657 00:30:20,885 --> 00:30:23,547 Holly tells me you have two young daughters. 658 00:30:26,224 --> 00:30:29,091 You're an embarrassment. 659 00:30:30,261 --> 00:30:31,387 I am. 660 00:30:34,532 --> 00:30:36,159 And you're a priest. 661 00:30:37,802 --> 00:30:39,736 I'll be... 662 00:30:39,771 --> 00:30:40,863 praying for them. 663 00:30:59,624 --> 00:31:01,148 We're sorry. 664 00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:02,420 Boo! 665 00:31:03,394 --> 00:31:06,056 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 666 00:31:06,097 --> 00:31:08,327 - Oh, Jesus. - Come on. Come on. 667 00:31:08,366 --> 00:31:10,891 Come on, come on. Hey, hey. 668 00:31:10,935 --> 00:31:13,733 We... We should knock on the door and do that again 669 00:31:13,771 --> 00:31:14,897 and try it for real. 670 00:31:14,939 --> 00:31:16,270 OK, OK. 671 00:31:50,775 --> 00:31:53,767 So, that was good times. 672 00:31:53,811 --> 00:31:55,972 Always good times with my brothers. 673 00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:58,175 Love good times. 674 00:31:58,216 --> 00:32:02,277 Telling them I'm gay would have been not good times, 675 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,447 which would be selfish of me. 676 00:32:04,489 --> 00:32:06,548 It's not like heterosexuals come out 677 00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:09,617 and scream their straightness to the world. 678 00:32:09,661 --> 00:32:11,652 Don't judge me. 679 00:32:13,798 --> 00:32:16,130 You can't even hold my hand in public. 680 00:32:16,167 --> 00:32:17,464 I'm Irish. 681 00:32:17,502 --> 00:32:20,096 So am I. 682 00:32:20,138 --> 00:32:23,039 I'm not talking about some disgusting 683 00:32:23,074 --> 00:32:24,803 amusement park make-out session. 684 00:32:24,842 --> 00:32:28,471 I'm talking about just that random kiss that... 685 00:32:28,513 --> 00:32:30,344 Andy has a right to be pissed at me, 686 00:32:30,381 --> 00:32:32,542 but luckily he's a lawyer. 687 00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:36,041 So, he sees things logically, not emotionally. 688 00:32:36,087 --> 00:32:38,612 We're committed and we're collaborative and everything. 689 00:32:38,656 --> 00:32:41,124 Maybe you find that boring, I don't know. 690 00:32:41,159 --> 00:32:42,490 But it's... 691 00:32:42,527 --> 00:32:43,653 Ah, shit! 692 00:32:43,695 --> 00:32:45,492 It's never happened like this before. 693 00:32:45,530 --> 00:32:48,988 All right, hugs and kisses always gets him to stay. 694 00:32:50,902 --> 00:32:52,028 L... I have to... 695 00:32:52,070 --> 00:32:53,162 Come on. 696 00:32:53,204 --> 00:32:55,001 I'm sorry. 697 00:32:55,039 --> 00:32:56,973 Now, I'm gonna say something stupid, really funny, 698 00:32:57,008 --> 00:32:59,203 and you're gonna laugh and we're gonna stay together, OK? 699 00:32:59,243 --> 00:33:01,006 That's what we're gonna do here. 700 00:33:01,045 --> 00:33:02,376 Now you're gonna make me cry. 701 00:33:02,413 --> 00:33:03,778 Don't do that. 702 00:33:05,116 --> 00:33:06,708 I love you, Bobby. 703 00:33:08,286 --> 00:33:11,414 I'm concerned, but I think I did it. 704 00:33:11,456 --> 00:33:13,014 I think he's staying. 705 00:33:13,057 --> 00:33:14,888 I'm money. 706 00:33:16,394 --> 00:33:18,055 Good-bye. 707 00:33:27,271 --> 00:33:30,069 I'm tired of being in the closet. 708 00:33:30,108 --> 00:33:32,542 I've become so detached from my feelings 709 00:33:32,577 --> 00:33:34,738 I'm not sure I can feel anymore. 710 00:33:35,913 --> 00:33:38,438 For example, Andy and I just broke up 711 00:33:38,483 --> 00:33:39,882 and all I can think about is, 712 00:33:39,917 --> 00:33:41,748 I've never been dumped before. 713 00:33:45,423 --> 00:33:48,722 Technically, did he really dump me? 714 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,820 It's not like he stopped loving me or got bored of me. 715 00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:54,730 It was my actions that forced him to leave, 716 00:33:54,766 --> 00:33:58,224 so in a sense, I really dumped him. 717 00:33:58,269 --> 00:34:01,067 Which means I win. 718 00:34:01,105 --> 00:34:02,436 See what I mean? 719 00:34:06,444 --> 00:34:08,412 If I really love Andy, 720 00:34:08,446 --> 00:34:11,279 then why am I so relieved that we broke up? 721 00:34:14,118 --> 00:34:15,312 What do you think? 722 00:34:15,353 --> 00:34:18,618 I, uh, I'm not usually supposed to talk. 723 00:34:18,656 --> 00:34:19,953 - But... - We're all repressed. 724 00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:22,425 Go ahead and speak. 725 00:34:22,460 --> 00:34:24,724 The whole gay thing's a little weird, 726 00:34:24,762 --> 00:34:28,459 but... look, I really can't talk, man. 727 00:34:28,499 --> 00:34:30,296 Give me this. 728 00:34:36,641 --> 00:34:38,734 Go ahead and speak. 729 00:34:38,776 --> 00:34:39,765 All right. 730 00:34:39,811 --> 00:34:41,369 You're fucked! 731 00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:42,811 You got a guy... 732 00:34:42,847 --> 00:34:46,943 person that loves you completely and trusts you. 733 00:34:46,984 --> 00:34:48,315 You're a tough guy to love 734 00:34:48,352 --> 00:34:50,843 and instead of loving him with all your heart, 735 00:34:50,888 --> 00:34:51,946 all you're concerned about 736 00:34:51,989 --> 00:34:53,786 is how your family's gonna deal with it. 737 00:34:53,825 --> 00:34:56,658 Look here, man, fuck your cracker-ass family! 738 00:34:58,663 --> 00:35:01,496 It ain't intended for love to be hidden, man. 739 00:35:01,532 --> 00:35:03,591 Have you looked in Andy's eyes? 740 00:35:04,836 --> 00:35:06,531 Yeah, he's got real pretty eyes. 741 00:35:06,571 --> 00:35:08,095 Yeah, you know, they're all right. 742 00:35:08,139 --> 00:35:09,128 They're cool. 743 00:35:09,173 --> 00:35:10,435 He's got a really great body. 744 00:35:10,475 --> 00:35:12,136 If you say so, man! 745 00:35:12,176 --> 00:35:14,770 You know what I really love? 746 00:35:14,812 --> 00:35:16,803 I love when we're alone. 747 00:35:16,848 --> 00:35:18,907 We can sit in a room together for hours 748 00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:21,214 and we never have to say a word 749 00:35:21,252 --> 00:35:22,651 and don't feel uncomfortable, 750 00:35:22,687 --> 00:35:25,053 like I need to fill the air with words. 751 00:35:26,657 --> 00:35:29,182 I'm so tired of being alone. 752 00:35:52,717 --> 00:35:54,378 Someone tell you that looks good? 753 00:35:54,418 --> 00:35:57,251 Someone tell you that dressing like a shlub 754 00:35:57,288 --> 00:35:59,085 will convince people you're not gay? 755 00:35:59,123 --> 00:36:00,750 Why don't you say that a little louder? 756 00:36:00,791 --> 00:36:02,418 Oh, please. 757 00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:04,428 Where's your suck-hole boyfriend? 758 00:36:04,462 --> 00:36:06,123 We broke up. 759 00:36:07,398 --> 00:36:09,127 What was it this time? 760 00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:10,634 He wants to get married. 761 00:36:10,668 --> 00:36:12,135 Maggs, you're almost 30. 762 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:13,967 And? 763 00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:16,405 You've been datin' the guy off and on for four years. 764 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:17,998 So, I should marry him out of sympathy? 765 00:36:18,042 --> 00:36:19,441 Is there a better reason? 766 00:36:19,477 --> 00:36:20,910 You gonna stretch? 767 00:36:20,945 --> 00:36:22,776 I think I'm gonna pull something new. 768 00:36:22,813 --> 00:36:24,542 Let's go. 769 00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:32,151 So, uh, was he, like, all dramatic? 770 00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:33,919 Get on his knee. Pull out the, uh, ring? 771 00:36:33,958 --> 00:36:35,550 He's far too much of a pussy for that. 772 00:36:35,593 --> 00:36:38,790 Ha! He's so much better off without you. 773 00:36:38,829 --> 00:36:40,763 How could I possibly focus on getting married 774 00:36:40,798 --> 00:36:43,198 when I'm so preoccupied with outing you? 775 00:36:43,234 --> 00:36:44,633 About that. 776 00:36:44,669 --> 00:36:46,000 Yeah, about that. 777 00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:47,902 I think we should do it tomorrow night at Mom and Dad's. 778 00:36:47,939 --> 00:36:49,634 You know, we've got to split up their stuff. 779 00:36:49,674 --> 00:36:51,073 I don't know. 780 00:36:51,108 --> 00:36:54,373 With Andy and I breaking up, I just don't have the motivation. 781 00:36:54,412 --> 00:36:58,473 Andy thought that would be the motivation. 782 00:36:58,516 --> 00:36:59,915 What? 783 00:36:59,951 --> 00:37:02,215 Wasn't that a fabulous ass? 784 00:37:02,253 --> 00:37:03,515 Oh, please. 785 00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:05,920 Maggs, I'm different. I've changed. 786 00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:07,117 I don't even know if I'm gay. 787 00:37:07,158 --> 00:37:09,092 Ha ha ha. Stop it. 788 00:37:09,126 --> 00:37:11,788 You are so gay. Don't worry about it. 789 00:37:18,636 --> 00:37:22,072 I took a week off from work due to my dad's death. 790 00:37:22,106 --> 00:37:24,472 Perfect time to start a new job. 791 00:37:26,410 --> 00:37:29,106 This is the perfect time to start a new job. 792 00:37:29,146 --> 00:37:30,443 These are my cameras. 793 00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:32,472 I've been collecting them for about 30 years. 794 00:37:32,516 --> 00:37:33,608 - Beautiful! - Yeah. 795 00:37:33,651 --> 00:37:35,141 Love cameras. 796 00:37:35,186 --> 00:37:36,312 I'm excited to have you here. 797 00:37:36,354 --> 00:37:38,618 Ah, thank you. I appreciate it. 798 00:37:38,656 --> 00:37:41,784 So, I was talking to your brother, Luke, 799 00:37:41,826 --> 00:37:45,284 and, uh, he said you weren't happy. 800 00:37:45,329 --> 00:37:48,127 Bobby, I know we're not as big here 801 00:37:48,165 --> 00:37:50,497 as what you're used to over at Fish, Vine and Rudolph, 802 00:37:50,534 --> 00:37:53,230 but we're offering you a partnership. 803 00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:54,829 Thank you. 804 00:37:54,872 --> 00:37:56,032 Uh, if you can just give me a week. 805 00:37:56,073 --> 00:37:58,064 I'll, uh, I'll have an answer for you. 806 00:37:58,109 --> 00:38:00,009 Fine. Take a week. No problem. 807 00:38:00,044 --> 00:38:01,477 I don't want to blow smoke up your ass, 808 00:38:01,512 --> 00:38:03,912 but you're about the most talented young architect 809 00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:04,972 I've ever met. 810 00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:06,176 Thank you. 811 00:38:07,518 --> 00:38:12,285 Speaking of blowing smoke up somebody's ass. 812 00:38:12,323 --> 00:38:16,453 Things still a little bit funny over at Fish, Vine and Rudolph? 813 00:38:16,494 --> 00:38:17,756 The nature of the business. 814 00:38:17,795 --> 00:38:20,127 The nature of the business. 815 00:38:20,164 --> 00:38:22,359 I'm only telling you this because you're Luke's brother. 816 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,664 My two partners, Charlie and Sam, 817 00:38:24,702 --> 00:38:27,637 they're a little bit, uh, funny. 818 00:38:27,672 --> 00:38:31,130 Look, don't get me wrong. They're talented. 819 00:38:31,175 --> 00:38:34,167 They're great, but there's three partners here 820 00:38:34,211 --> 00:38:35,473 and two of them I feel have formed 821 00:38:35,513 --> 00:38:37,845 some sort of gay alliance against me. 822 00:38:37,882 --> 00:38:40,407 I need somebody on my team. 823 00:38:40,451 --> 00:38:43,511 I don't want you to get the wrong idea. 824 00:38:43,554 --> 00:38:47,513 I get along with those guys great, professionally. Huh. 825 00:38:47,558 --> 00:38:50,755 But I can't go out for a beer with them. 826 00:38:50,795 --> 00:38:52,285 OK? 827 00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:53,991 You I can go out for a beer with. 828 00:38:54,031 --> 00:38:55,396 You're a beer guy. 829 00:38:55,433 --> 00:38:56,866 You like beer don't ya, Bobby? 830 00:38:56,901 --> 00:38:57,925 I'm Luke's brother. 831 00:38:57,968 --> 00:38:59,196 You're Luke's brother. 832 00:38:59,236 --> 00:39:01,033 You love beer. 833 00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:02,664 Beer is in your blood. 834 00:39:02,707 --> 00:39:06,040 You're probably drunk right now, you crazy fuck. 835 00:39:06,077 --> 00:39:10,537 All right, everything you need to know, it's in here. 836 00:39:10,581 --> 00:39:13,243 All right? Take two weeks if you want to. 837 00:39:14,418 --> 00:39:15,885 We want you here. 838 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,285 Thank you. 839 00:39:18,589 --> 00:39:19,920 We'll see. 840 00:39:19,957 --> 00:39:22,152 So, I got a plan how we're gonna out you. 841 00:39:24,095 --> 00:39:26,427 I knew I should've gone with Judy's pizza. 842 00:39:26,464 --> 00:39:28,432 I'm telling you if they had had this technology 843 00:39:28,466 --> 00:39:31,435 when Jesus was alive, there would be no doubting Thomases. 844 00:39:31,469 --> 00:39:33,437 I don't think this is good for my diet. 845 00:39:33,471 --> 00:39:34,836 And we're doing it tomorrow. 846 00:39:34,872 --> 00:39:37,397 And I'm staying over tonight so you don't chicken out. 847 00:39:37,441 --> 00:39:39,671 I don't have any room for you in my apartment. 848 00:39:39,710 --> 00:39:42,873 Then I will share your bed. 849 00:39:42,913 --> 00:39:44,710 That's a little weird. 850 00:39:44,749 --> 00:39:46,444 So it is. 851 00:39:54,959 --> 00:39:56,722 What do you think of this? 852 00:39:56,761 --> 00:39:58,285 - I don't know. - It's hip, it's cool, it's in. 853 00:39:58,329 --> 00:39:59,296 - Really? - He's a priest. 854 00:39:59,330 --> 00:40:00,422 - He doesn't know. - Ha ha ha. 855 00:40:00,464 --> 00:40:01,795 Nice to have everybody here. 856 00:40:01,832 --> 00:40:03,265 Another round? 857 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:04,927 Yeah. 858 00:40:04,969 --> 00:40:06,300 You are never too drunk to be pilfering 859 00:40:06,337 --> 00:40:07,804 your dead parents' house for goods. 860 00:40:07,838 --> 00:40:09,237 Another round? 861 00:40:09,273 --> 00:40:11,503 Any time I've had to make a big decision in my life 862 00:40:11,542 --> 00:40:13,009 I've blown it. 863 00:40:13,043 --> 00:40:17,605 Melissa Shepherd's seventh-grade pool party? I wore a USA Speedo. 864 00:40:17,648 --> 00:40:22,483 For senior year prom I lathered myself in fake tan bronzer. 865 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,819 The only parts of my body that didn't turn freakishly orange 866 00:40:25,856 --> 00:40:27,346 were the parts I missed. 867 00:40:27,391 --> 00:40:29,859 So when Maggie told me she had an idea 868 00:40:29,894 --> 00:40:32,886 on how to tell the boys I'm gay, I listened. 869 00:40:32,930 --> 00:40:35,831 Her idea... pictures. 870 00:40:45,943 --> 00:40:49,344 I'm not sure I've ever done anything more stupid. 871 00:40:50,681 --> 00:40:52,649 What are you trying to say? 872 00:40:54,485 --> 00:40:55,850 That I'm gay. 873 00:40:58,889 --> 00:41:01,187 Dude, you should have saved this for April 1st. 874 00:41:01,225 --> 00:41:03,955 If you are gay, this is completely inappropriate. 875 00:41:03,994 --> 00:41:05,689 And if it's a joke, it's sick, 876 00:41:05,729 --> 00:41:07,697 tasteless, and completely inappropriate. 877 00:41:07,731 --> 00:41:08,993 Where are you going, Jack? 878 00:41:09,033 --> 00:41:11,524 I'm not going to stick around to find out the answer. 879 00:41:13,204 --> 00:41:15,502 You should be ashamed. 880 00:41:15,539 --> 00:41:16,870 Hey. 881 00:41:18,209 --> 00:41:19,437 [Door slams] 882 00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:21,843 You know, um... 883 00:41:21,879 --> 00:41:24,973 I think he's just a little too overwhelmed to see 884 00:41:25,015 --> 00:41:28,143 it's a prank, which, in my mind, makes it the perfect prank. 885 00:41:29,620 --> 00:41:32,054 Well, this little slide show has given me something 886 00:41:32,089 --> 00:41:33,386 to talk to Johnny and Mark about 887 00:41:33,424 --> 00:41:36,018 while I tuck them into bed tonight. 888 00:41:36,060 --> 00:41:37,391 I got to go. 889 00:41:37,428 --> 00:41:39,020 Please, you see worse than this every day. 890 00:41:39,063 --> 00:41:42,692 A woman with a buffalo doesn't affect me like this. 891 00:41:42,733 --> 00:41:45,395 Luke, let's go. 892 00:41:49,406 --> 00:41:52,034 He's my ride. 893 00:41:52,076 --> 00:41:53,703 I don't think Jim Jones could have cleared out a room 894 00:41:53,744 --> 00:41:55,211 with fruit punch as fast as this. 895 00:41:55,246 --> 00:41:57,373 Very nice work, guys. 896 00:41:57,414 --> 00:41:59,279 See ya. 897 00:42:05,823 --> 00:42:07,085 So? 898 00:42:08,826 --> 00:42:11,556 Well, look at it like this... 899 00:42:11,595 --> 00:42:14,860 think of their homophobia as cancer and, uh... 900 00:42:14,899 --> 00:42:17,868 the slide show was a very aggressive form of chemotherapy. 901 00:42:19,270 --> 00:42:21,101 I'm sorry. 902 00:42:26,977 --> 00:42:28,274 [Sirens] 903 00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:51,524 Hey, Rose, how are you today? 904 00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:53,127 You look good. 905 00:42:54,972 --> 00:42:58,100 I like your outfit. 906 00:42:58,142 --> 00:42:59,973 I know the game starts in about an hour, 907 00:43:00,010 --> 00:43:01,272 so I promise I'll be brief. 908 00:43:01,312 --> 00:43:02,279 [Laughter] 909 00:43:02,313 --> 00:43:04,213 The important part of John's gospel 910 00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:06,773 was to focus on how the large multitude 911 00:43:06,817 --> 00:43:09,809 that were following Jesus at the time decided to leave. 912 00:43:23,567 --> 00:43:24,556 Come on. 913 00:43:31,742 --> 00:43:34,040 I look gay in this spandex, don't I? 914 00:43:34,078 --> 00:43:35,807 You've always looked gay to me. 915 00:43:35,846 --> 00:43:37,643 You didn't know I was gay when we first met. 916 00:43:37,681 --> 00:43:39,273 Maggie told me. 917 00:43:39,316 --> 00:43:41,147 That fucking bitch. 918 00:43:41,185 --> 00:43:42,846 She's got such a big mouth. 919 00:43:42,886 --> 00:43:44,945 MAN: Come on, kids. 920 00:43:45,656 --> 00:43:48,124 So, how'd your brothers take it? 921 00:43:48,158 --> 00:43:50,558 I think the slide show was a bad idea. 922 00:43:50,594 --> 00:43:52,653 You think? 923 00:43:52,696 --> 00:43:54,994 Did you tell 'em I was a lesbian? 924 00:43:55,032 --> 00:43:57,500 Uh, no. 925 00:43:57,534 --> 00:43:59,832 They didn't even ask about me? 926 00:43:59,870 --> 00:44:00,859 No. 927 00:44:00,904 --> 00:44:02,929 That's gonna be weird for me. 928 00:44:02,973 --> 00:44:04,668 Oh, I'm sorry. 929 00:44:04,708 --> 00:44:07,176 You wanted to talk about you, didn't you? 930 00:44:07,211 --> 00:44:08,940 We would've never worked as a couple. 931 00:44:08,979 --> 00:44:11,675 No. Ha ha. 932 00:44:11,715 --> 00:44:14,377 I'd want a more statuesque kind of man. 933 00:44:16,220 --> 00:44:18,711 I look fucking stupid in this stuff. 934 00:44:20,190 --> 00:44:23,091 It was such a good idea this morning. 935 00:44:23,127 --> 00:44:24,856 You know, some day the chunky Howdy Doody look 936 00:44:24,895 --> 00:44:27,625 is gonna be in and you're going to wish you were a gay man. 937 00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:29,098 I don't think so. 938 00:44:29,133 --> 00:44:30,998 Turn around. Let me see your ass. 939 00:44:31,035 --> 00:44:32,900 - Don't touch me. - Don't worry. 940 00:44:36,540 --> 00:44:37,700 Ladies and gentlemen, 941 00:44:37,741 --> 00:44:39,732 if you would please join me at the baptismal font. 942 00:44:53,257 --> 00:44:54,349 Where's Bobby? 943 00:44:54,391 --> 00:44:56,416 He couldn't make it. 944 00:44:56,460 --> 00:44:59,827 So the other night was a failed attempt at Bobby coming out. 945 00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:01,125 Then how'd you know? 946 00:45:01,165 --> 00:45:03,725 Could you keep a secret like that without telling someone? 947 00:45:03,767 --> 00:45:05,428 Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, 948 00:45:05,469 --> 00:45:07,369 thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth... 949 00:45:07,404 --> 00:45:08,371 OK, let's say Bobby's gay... 950 00:45:08,405 --> 00:45:09,804 He's gay. 951 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:11,671 Let's say he's bisexual, 'cause he's got Carly. 952 00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:13,404 She's a lesbian. 953 00:45:13,444 --> 00:45:15,002 That little vixen. 954 00:45:15,045 --> 00:45:18,572 Do you reject Satan and all his works? 955 00:45:18,615 --> 00:45:19,775 [Baby crying] 956 00:45:20,984 --> 00:45:22,576 Does she have a girlfriend? 957 00:45:22,619 --> 00:45:23,586 So Bobby's gay? 958 00:45:23,620 --> 00:45:25,247 Yes. 959 00:45:25,289 --> 00:45:27,086 So what do you want from us? 960 00:45:27,124 --> 00:45:29,957 Are you kidding me with that question? 961 00:45:29,993 --> 00:45:31,426 When Johnny was born 10 weeks early, 962 00:45:31,462 --> 00:45:33,259 Bobby spent so much time at the hospital 963 00:45:33,297 --> 00:45:34,924 the nurses thought he was the father, 964 00:45:34,965 --> 00:45:37,593 and you don't even think about asking me a question like that. 965 00:45:37,634 --> 00:45:40,797 Do you believe in the Father, the almighty? 966 00:45:40,838 --> 00:45:42,806 The maker of heaven and earth. 967 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,467 It's not that easy for us. 968 00:45:44,508 --> 00:45:45,907 What's not that easy? 969 00:45:45,943 --> 00:45:48,002 You look at having a gay brother like a badge of honor. 970 00:45:48,045 --> 00:45:50,172 A badge of honor? It's your brother. 971 00:45:50,214 --> 00:45:51,613 Well, I guess I'm just not as liberal as you are. 972 00:45:51,648 --> 00:45:52,774 Oh, come on, Connor. 973 00:45:52,816 --> 00:45:54,408 You've seen worse than that on the internet. 974 00:45:54,451 --> 00:45:55,713 Not guys. 975 00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:57,618 Not on purpose. 976 00:45:57,654 --> 00:46:00,646 When two guys go at it, it makes my sphincter shrink 977 00:46:00,691 --> 00:46:02,625 so small I shit spaghetti. 978 00:46:02,659 --> 00:46:04,820 I baptize you in the name of the Father, 979 00:46:04,862 --> 00:46:06,955 the Son, and the Holy Spirit. 980 00:46:06,997 --> 00:46:09,227 I shared a bedroom with the guy for 18 years. 981 00:46:09,266 --> 00:46:11,200 OK, I got gaydar. I know gay. 982 00:46:11,235 --> 00:46:12,964 Bobby ain't gay. 983 00:46:13,003 --> 00:46:15,801 I will get you the phone number of his boyfriend Andy. 984 00:46:15,839 --> 00:46:16,897 Boyfriend? 985 00:46:16,940 --> 00:46:18,703 A good prank has many levels of detail. 986 00:46:18,742 --> 00:46:20,107 Are you serious, Luke? 987 00:46:20,144 --> 00:46:22,635 Fine. You give me the number. We'll give him a call. 988 00:46:22,679 --> 00:46:24,169 We'll call him. 989 00:46:27,184 --> 00:46:28,913 Can you get me those pictures? 990 00:46:28,952 --> 00:46:30,977 - You're disgusting. - Just give me the pictures. 991 00:46:31,021 --> 00:46:32,010 [Baby crying] 992 00:46:34,191 --> 00:46:35,351 Do you have any pictures of Carly? 993 00:46:35,392 --> 00:46:36,484 Stop it. 994 00:46:36,527 --> 00:46:37,516 [Baby crying] 995 00:46:40,864 --> 00:46:42,729 These are the moments when being gay 996 00:46:42,766 --> 00:46:45,064 and relating your life to a movie gets tough. 997 00:46:45,102 --> 00:46:46,091 [Dialing] 998 00:46:48,872 --> 00:46:50,362 [Coughing] 999 00:46:52,409 --> 00:46:57,039 Hey, Ands, it's me, just, uh, checking in with you. 1000 00:46:58,382 --> 00:47:00,680 In one of those, uh... 1001 00:47:00,717 --> 00:47:02,116 [Music drowning out dialogue] 1002 00:47:06,790 --> 00:47:09,623 So, uh... 1003 00:47:09,660 --> 00:47:11,355 hey. 1004 00:47:11,395 --> 00:47:14,364 Just called to say hey and just check in with you. 1005 00:47:14,398 --> 00:47:16,229 Give me a call when you get a chance. 1006 00:47:16,266 --> 00:47:18,359 [Music drowning out dialogue] 1007 00:47:18,402 --> 00:47:19,869 I'll see you. 1008 00:47:19,903 --> 00:47:21,996 [Beep] 1009 00:47:22,039 --> 00:47:23,973 You know what scene I got playing through my head? 1010 00:47:24,007 --> 00:47:25,736 Me running through the streets like Billy Crystal 1011 00:47:25,776 --> 00:47:30,338 in When Harry Met Sally and getting Meg Ryan. 1012 00:47:30,380 --> 00:47:32,610 Auld Lang Syne playing in the background. 1013 00:47:32,649 --> 00:47:33,616 [Telephone rings] 1014 00:47:33,650 --> 00:47:34,708 [Beep] 1015 00:47:34,751 --> 00:47:36,651 Hello? 1016 00:47:36,687 --> 00:47:39,588 Hey, Maggs. What's going on? 1017 00:47:39,623 --> 00:47:42,217 Can I come over? 1018 00:47:42,259 --> 00:47:43,521 All right. 1019 00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:45,460 [Beep] 1020 00:47:45,495 --> 00:47:48,328 I'll wax poetic later. 1021 00:47:49,499 --> 00:47:51,399 Jimmy, my man. What have you got for me? 1022 00:47:51,435 --> 00:47:53,164 The latent image has no inconsistencies 1023 00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:55,330 in the grain structure. 1024 00:47:55,372 --> 00:47:56,930 Give it to me straight. 1025 00:47:56,974 --> 00:47:59,442 The pictures haven't been altered. 1026 00:47:59,476 --> 00:48:00,602 Don't pull any punches. 1027 00:48:00,644 --> 00:48:02,612 Your brother's a fag. 1028 00:48:04,648 --> 00:48:07,708 I've erased all evidence of the pictures from my computer 1029 00:48:07,751 --> 00:48:10,447 and mum's the word. See ya at softball Sunday. 1030 00:48:20,764 --> 00:48:22,925 [Computer chiming] 1031 00:48:22,966 --> 00:48:24,456 Fuck. 1032 00:48:25,969 --> 00:48:30,099 [Telephone rings] 1033 00:48:30,140 --> 00:48:32,131 [Beep] 1034 00:48:32,175 --> 00:48:33,267 Hey. 1035 00:48:34,444 --> 00:48:36,412 Hey. 1036 00:48:36,446 --> 00:48:38,471 So, those pictures are real. 1037 00:48:38,515 --> 00:48:39,539 Yeah, no shit. 1038 00:48:39,583 --> 00:48:41,107 I feel like a fucking loser. 1039 00:48:41,151 --> 00:48:42,550 We're way past that now. 1040 00:48:42,586 --> 00:48:43,814 Hey, you think if I beat him up, 1041 00:48:43,854 --> 00:48:44,946 I'd get charged with a hate crime? 1042 00:48:44,988 --> 00:48:47,115 You'll have to talk to Maggie about that. 1043 00:48:47,157 --> 00:48:50,684 All right, well, I gotta go. 1044 00:48:50,727 --> 00:48:52,126 All right, see you on the floor tomorrow. 1045 00:48:52,162 --> 00:48:54,130 Yeah, fuck off. 1046 00:48:54,164 --> 00:48:55,825 You fuck off. 1047 00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,490 [Beep] 1048 00:48:58,535 --> 00:49:02,596 [TV] (music) 800-588-2300, EMPIRE (music) 1049 00:49:02,639 --> 00:49:04,334 You really watch sports when you're alone? 1050 00:49:04,374 --> 00:49:06,103 The curse of four brothers. 1051 00:49:06,143 --> 00:49:08,441 Do the guys of Chicago know what a great chick you are? 1052 00:49:08,478 --> 00:49:10,639 Sadly I think you are the only one. 1053 00:49:10,681 --> 00:49:12,478 Now, of course, if this were the Middle Ages, 1054 00:49:12,516 --> 00:49:14,984 and you and I were royals... 1055 00:49:15,018 --> 00:49:18,010 Listen, I had to messenger those slides over to Luke 1056 00:49:18,055 --> 00:49:20,580 'cause he still thinks this whole thing is a joke. 1057 00:49:20,624 --> 00:49:21,989 He's already seen 'em. 1058 00:49:22,025 --> 00:49:23,652 I didn't want to take those pictures and now all of a sudden 1059 00:49:23,694 --> 00:49:25,889 I've got this random messenger delivering naked pictures of me 1060 00:49:25,929 --> 00:49:28,193 going to his office for show and tell. 1061 00:49:28,231 --> 00:49:31,098 Yeah, but you look really good in that second one. 1062 00:49:32,369 --> 00:49:34,030 I did look kind of good there. 1063 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:38,371 [Dialing] 1064 00:49:42,512 --> 00:49:45,811 [Telephone rings] 1065 00:49:45,849 --> 00:49:47,749 Hey, it's Bobby. I'm not in right now. 1066 00:49:47,784 --> 00:49:49,547 Leave a message and I'll call you back. 1067 00:49:51,388 --> 00:49:54,186 You goddamn motherfucker. 1068 00:49:54,224 --> 00:49:56,715 Keeping a secret like this from me. 1069 00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:59,695 What kind of prick are you? 1070 00:49:59,730 --> 00:50:03,063 Like we're not close enough for you to confide in me? 1071 00:50:04,735 --> 00:50:06,794 Fuck you. 1072 00:50:06,837 --> 00:50:08,737 Fuck you, Bobby. 1073 00:50:12,075 --> 00:50:15,567 I can only imagine what other lies you've got going on. 1074 00:50:18,248 --> 00:50:22,912 You were the... best man at my wedding. 1075 00:50:24,388 --> 00:50:25,912 And you're... gay? 1076 00:50:28,592 --> 00:50:30,082 Fuck! 1077 00:50:35,265 --> 00:50:38,564 I, uh... 1078 00:50:38,602 --> 00:50:40,570 I got to question everything now. 1079 00:50:40,604 --> 00:50:44,734 All the times we were laughing and talking about chicks 1080 00:50:44,775 --> 00:50:47,608 and shit and you were just faking it? 1081 00:50:49,112 --> 00:50:50,579 Great. 1082 00:50:50,614 --> 00:50:53,447 Thanks, motherfucker. 1083 00:50:56,453 --> 00:50:57,943 Hope you're proud. 1084 00:50:57,988 --> 00:51:00,115 Good work, jack-off. 1085 00:51:01,458 --> 00:51:05,451 Tell you what, stay away from me and my family. 1086 00:51:05,495 --> 00:51:06,621 [Beep] 1087 00:51:32,656 --> 00:51:35,489 Perfect timing. I just got here a couple of minutes ago. 1088 00:51:35,525 --> 00:51:37,618 What, do you think I only had one key to your place? 1089 00:51:37,661 --> 00:51:39,492 Please. 1090 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,724 So start talking. 1091 00:51:44,768 --> 00:51:46,793 I'm just going to eat my ice cream. 1092 00:51:46,837 --> 00:51:48,304 I'm all talked out. 1093 00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,306 That's what I heard. 1094 00:51:50,340 --> 00:51:51,466 Maggie? 1095 00:51:51,508 --> 00:51:52,634 Of course. 1096 00:51:52,676 --> 00:51:54,735 She's got such a big mouth. 1097 00:51:54,778 --> 00:51:56,803 And a bigger heart. 1098 00:51:56,847 --> 00:51:58,644 There's nothing more important to her 1099 00:51:58,682 --> 00:52:00,206 than keeping your family together. 1100 00:52:00,250 --> 00:52:02,343 A lofty goal these days. 1101 00:52:04,020 --> 00:52:05,317 We good? 1102 00:52:07,524 --> 00:52:09,185 We're great. 1103 00:52:09,226 --> 00:52:10,454 Good. 1104 00:52:10,494 --> 00:52:13,657 So, do you want to tell me how it went? 1105 00:52:13,697 --> 00:52:15,688 You want to take a bath? 1106 00:52:17,033 --> 00:52:18,330 Yeah. 1107 00:52:18,368 --> 00:52:20,666 You got to call your therapist and see if it's OK? 1108 00:52:20,704 --> 00:52:21,693 Mm-mm. 1109 00:52:23,540 --> 00:52:25,770 Bring your ice cream though. I got an idea. 1110 00:52:34,284 --> 00:52:36,218 [Whistles] 1111 00:52:40,056 --> 00:52:41,523 - Do you want some water? - No. 1112 00:52:41,558 --> 00:52:43,583 How 'bout a juice box? I got cherry. 1113 00:52:43,627 --> 00:52:44,685 - No. - Cheerio's? 1114 00:52:44,728 --> 00:52:45,695 No. 1115 00:52:45,729 --> 00:52:46,696 - I got fruit loops. - No. 1116 00:52:46,730 --> 00:52:47,697 - Do you want any of that? - No. 1117 00:52:47,731 --> 00:52:48,857 - You're not hungry? - No. 1118 00:52:48,899 --> 00:52:51,026 - You don't want to have Cheerio's? - No. 1119 00:52:51,067 --> 00:52:52,728 - Want to eat a bug? - No. 1120 00:52:54,137 --> 00:52:56,537 Go long! Go long! Look up! 1121 00:52:56,573 --> 00:52:57,904 Look up! Look up! 1122 00:52:59,075 --> 00:53:00,736 You yell like a girl, man. 1123 00:53:01,912 --> 00:53:02,879 Who wants Chinese food? 1124 00:53:02,913 --> 00:53:04,039 Not me. 1125 00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:05,411 Who wants, uh, spaghetti? 1126 00:53:05,448 --> 00:53:06,415 Not me. 1127 00:53:06,449 --> 00:53:07,541 Who wants waffles? 1128 00:53:07,584 --> 00:53:08,551 Not me. 1129 00:53:08,585 --> 00:53:09,677 - You're not hungry at all? - No. 1130 00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:10,879 I want waffles. 1131 00:53:10,921 --> 00:53:12,115 Hee hee hee. 1132 00:53:12,155 --> 00:53:14,715 Go over there. Go try that car out. 1133 00:53:14,758 --> 00:53:16,783 Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster! 1134 00:53:20,263 --> 00:53:23,562 Hey, do you think those gay genes are hereditary? 1135 00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:25,727 Why? 'Cause Johnny can't catch? 1136 00:53:25,769 --> 00:53:27,600 Johnny can catch. 1137 00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:31,230 Do you think about this Andy guy? 1138 00:53:31,274 --> 00:53:32,901 What, do you mean when I'm touching myself, 1139 00:53:32,943 --> 00:53:35,241 do I imagine what his strong hands would feel like on me? 1140 00:53:35,278 --> 00:53:36,404 - Yeah. - No. 1141 00:53:36,446 --> 00:53:38,277 I think Maggs is right, you know. 1142 00:53:38,315 --> 00:53:41,182 I just never considered myself to be prejudiced 1143 00:53:41,218 --> 00:53:44,119 - or homophobic or anti-gay or... - No, no, no. 1144 00:53:44,154 --> 00:53:45,746 Do you remember Jimmy? 1145 00:53:45,789 --> 00:53:47,086 - Jimmy Strong? - Yeah. 1146 00:53:47,123 --> 00:53:49,216 - Yeah. - Great fucking guy. Right? 1147 00:53:49,259 --> 00:53:50,248 - Yeah. - Great guy. 1148 00:53:50,293 --> 00:53:52,625 Could you imagine if he was dating Maggie? 1149 00:53:54,130 --> 00:53:56,121 And I couldn't help thinking, uh... 1150 00:53:56,166 --> 00:53:58,930 who's this nigger fucking my sister? 1151 00:53:58,969 --> 00:54:00,869 Is that wrong? 1152 00:54:02,339 --> 00:54:04,933 Thanksgivings and Christmases, I can't explain to the kids 1153 00:54:04,975 --> 00:54:07,273 why Uncle Bobby and Uncle Andy are making out. 1154 00:54:07,310 --> 00:54:09,505 Well, I think gay people have manners. 1155 00:54:09,546 --> 00:54:11,605 Well, what gay people do you know? 1156 00:54:11,648 --> 00:54:12,615 It's common sense. 1157 00:54:12,649 --> 00:54:13,775 Two gay people are not going to make out 1158 00:54:13,817 --> 00:54:15,114 in front of ya without getting paid. 1159 00:54:16,519 --> 00:54:19,283 The truth is I just want things to be normal. 1160 00:54:19,322 --> 00:54:21,290 You know? And I know they can't be. 1161 00:54:21,324 --> 00:54:24,589 I mean, you and me, we can talk about our marriages and shit. 1162 00:54:24,628 --> 00:54:26,789 Like how Lisa secretly vowed on our wedding night 1163 00:54:26,830 --> 00:54:28,229 never to give me another blow job again? 1164 00:54:28,265 --> 00:54:30,233 I'm still working on Christmas mornings. 1165 00:54:30,267 --> 00:54:34,829 My family, your family, Jack and the altar boys. 1166 00:54:36,339 --> 00:54:38,307 Maggie and her eventual family. 1167 00:54:38,341 --> 00:54:39,808 Bobby and Andy. 1168 00:54:39,843 --> 00:54:40,969 That's weird. 1169 00:54:41,011 --> 00:54:43,343 And their Korean and Nicaraguan children. 1170 00:54:45,548 --> 00:54:48,016 Maybe it would help if we met Andy. 1171 00:54:48,051 --> 00:54:50,212 Talking with this Andy guy. 1172 00:54:50,253 --> 00:54:51,811 On the surface it would all be small talk, 1173 00:54:51,855 --> 00:54:53,186 but I know he'd be wondering 1174 00:54:53,223 --> 00:54:55,521 if all us Rileys have the same-size cock. 1175 00:54:57,260 --> 00:54:59,785 OK, that... that's weird. 1176 00:54:59,829 --> 00:55:01,160 Oh, you wouldn't be thinking that? 1177 00:55:01,197 --> 00:55:02,494 - No. - Oh, OK. 1178 00:55:02,532 --> 00:55:03,829 So, I'm the asshole for thinking that, huh? 1179 00:55:03,867 --> 00:55:05,528 Yes. 1180 00:55:06,569 --> 00:55:09,003 I'll be back later this afternoon. 1181 00:55:09,039 --> 00:55:10,006 - Hey. - I'm late. 1182 00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:11,667 - It's Thursday. - I know. 1183 00:55:11,708 --> 00:55:13,005 You know, it's almost been a week 1184 00:55:13,043 --> 00:55:14,670 and we're finalizing the will tomorrow with Mr. Burke. 1185 00:55:14,711 --> 00:55:15,871 - We are. - And you're going to see Bobby. 1186 00:55:15,912 --> 00:55:17,038 - I am. - Are you going to say anything? 1187 00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:18,274 Look, whatever I do, whatever I say, 1188 00:55:18,315 --> 00:55:20,010 it's going to be between Bobby and me. 1189 00:55:20,050 --> 00:55:21,017 Well, it's just that... 1190 00:55:21,051 --> 00:55:22,018 Maggie, I'm not going to stand here 1191 00:55:22,052 --> 00:55:23,019 and listen to a lecture from you. 1192 00:55:23,053 --> 00:55:24,247 The slide show was my stupid idea. 1193 00:55:24,287 --> 00:55:25,720 That was a bad idea. 1194 00:55:25,755 --> 00:55:27,188 It wasn't that bad of an idea. 1195 00:55:27,223 --> 00:55:28,417 Luke still doesn't believe he's gay. 1196 00:55:28,458 --> 00:55:30,221 He is gay. 1197 00:55:30,260 --> 00:55:31,750 I know. 1198 00:55:31,795 --> 00:55:33,558 Jack, Bobby idolizes you, all right? 1199 00:55:33,596 --> 00:55:34,995 He craves your acceptance. 1200 00:55:35,031 --> 00:55:36,362 Give it a rest. 1201 00:55:36,399 --> 00:55:37,764 Screw you. 1202 00:55:39,402 --> 00:55:41,029 I'll see you tomorrow at Mr. Burke's office. 1203 00:55:41,071 --> 00:55:42,368 You are the oldest. 1204 00:55:42,405 --> 00:55:44,236 You are supposed to be keeping this family together. 1205 00:55:44,274 --> 00:55:45,639 - Whatever you say. - Oh, that's fine. 1206 00:55:45,675 --> 00:55:48,041 I'll do your job. I'll keep the family together. 1207 00:56:06,496 --> 00:56:07,793 Your dad was a funny guy. 1208 00:56:07,831 --> 00:56:09,594 I don't have to tell you guys that. 1209 00:56:11,167 --> 00:56:13,397 - Hi, Maggie. - Hi. 1210 00:56:13,436 --> 00:56:15,233 - Bobby. - Mr. Burke. 1211 00:56:15,271 --> 00:56:16,738 - Good to see you. - Nice to see you. 1212 00:56:16,773 --> 00:56:18,570 OK, kids, no surprises here. 1213 00:56:18,608 --> 00:56:21,441 Your dad split up the estate equally amongst the five of you. 1214 00:56:21,478 --> 00:56:22,638 The house. 1215 00:56:22,679 --> 00:56:23,976 The cottage. 1216 00:56:24,013 --> 00:56:25,412 Life insurance. 1217 00:56:25,448 --> 00:56:27,609 His personal assets. 1218 00:56:27,650 --> 00:56:30,084 I've got something printed for each of you, 1219 00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:33,248 and he wrote something himself for each of you. 1220 00:56:33,289 --> 00:56:34,517 He wrote something? 1221 00:56:34,557 --> 00:56:35,854 You're talking about our dad, right? 1222 00:56:35,892 --> 00:56:37,325 Yeah, I thought it was kind of weird, too. 1223 00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:38,793 Your dad never wrote me a note 1224 00:56:38,828 --> 00:56:40,261 in the 25 years I was his lawyer. 1225 00:56:40,296 --> 00:56:42,161 Maybe his male nurse rubbed off on him or something. 1226 00:56:43,967 --> 00:56:45,935 Well, uh, if you have any questions, 1227 00:56:45,969 --> 00:56:49,632 feel free to call me. Otherwise, it's pretty straightforward. 1228 00:56:57,914 --> 00:56:59,438 - Take care. - Yeah. 1229 00:56:59,482 --> 00:57:01,609 Hey, I'll catch up in a second, Bobby. 1230 00:57:01,651 --> 00:57:03,278 - Thank you. - Sure. 1231 00:57:03,319 --> 00:57:04,308 So? 1232 00:57:06,689 --> 00:57:07,678 So? 1233 00:57:08,992 --> 00:57:10,323 - Thanks. - Sure. 1234 00:57:12,862 --> 00:57:13,954 Thanks again, Mr. Burke. 1235 00:57:13,997 --> 00:57:16,465 You're welcome. Take care. 1236 00:57:16,499 --> 00:57:18,126 Maggie? 1237 00:57:18,168 --> 00:57:20,363 Yeah. 1238 00:57:22,405 --> 00:57:23,633 There you go. 1239 00:57:23,673 --> 00:57:25,470 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 1240 00:59:01,104 --> 00:59:02,469 What, did you pick a public place 1241 00:59:02,505 --> 00:59:04,166 'cause you thought I'd beat you up? 1242 00:59:04,207 --> 00:59:06,107 There's nobody here. 1243 00:59:09,646 --> 00:59:11,238 Why'd you tell him? 1244 00:59:11,281 --> 00:59:14,114 Bobby, everybody's got secrets. 1245 00:59:14,150 --> 00:59:15,447 What's yours? 1246 00:59:16,786 --> 00:59:18,151 That I can't keep them. 1247 00:59:18,187 --> 00:59:19,449 Ahh. 1248 00:59:21,858 --> 00:59:23,189 I'm sorry, all right? 1249 00:59:23,226 --> 00:59:24,386 - You should be. - I know. 1250 00:59:24,427 --> 00:59:26,088 I know I shouldn't have told him. 1251 00:59:26,129 --> 00:59:29,428 It's just I can't keep all this stuff bottled up. 1252 00:59:30,633 --> 00:59:32,794 I guess we just ran out of things to say. 1253 00:59:32,835 --> 00:59:33,927 A lull in the conversation, 1254 00:59:33,970 --> 00:59:36,632 and you fill it with, "Hey, Dad, Bobby's gay." 1255 00:59:36,673 --> 00:59:37,765 You know what, don't give me any shit, all right? 1256 00:59:37,807 --> 00:59:39,104 Screw you. 1257 00:59:39,142 --> 00:59:40,609 I took a leave of absence from my job, 1258 00:59:40,643 --> 00:59:42,474 which, by the way, I'm the youngest partner 1259 00:59:42,512 --> 00:59:43,774 in that law firm's history, 1260 00:59:43,813 --> 00:59:45,940 so that I could take care of him everyday for two months. 1261 00:59:45,982 --> 00:59:47,609 Who else did you tell? 1262 00:59:47,650 --> 00:59:49,743 Nobody. Just Dad. 1263 00:59:51,654 --> 00:59:53,918 I have a feeling he took it to the grave. 1264 00:59:55,325 --> 00:59:57,122 That's bad. 1265 00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:58,957 Are you really mad at me? 1266 00:59:58,995 --> 01:00:00,622 I should be. 1267 01:00:00,663 --> 01:00:02,324 Don't get queeny. 1268 01:00:05,668 --> 01:00:08,296 So, what did he say? 1269 01:00:08,338 --> 01:00:12,297 Oh, now you want to know what he said. 1270 01:00:12,342 --> 01:00:14,367 Don't pull that bullshit. Come on. 1271 01:00:14,410 --> 01:00:16,002 Promise you won't be mad at me anymore? 1272 01:00:16,045 --> 01:00:17,137 No. 1273 01:00:17,180 --> 01:00:18,772 Promise you'll still tell me your secrets? 1274 01:00:18,815 --> 01:00:20,248 You already said you can't keep your secrets. 1275 01:00:20,283 --> 01:00:22,513 So? I just have to tell one person. 1276 01:00:22,552 --> 01:00:24,543 I'll tell Aunt Rose, she's dying. 1277 01:00:24,587 --> 01:00:27,055 [Chuckles] 1278 01:00:28,391 --> 01:00:29,949 He was shocked. 1279 01:00:31,594 --> 01:00:33,061 And when he realized that I wasn't telling him a joke, 1280 01:00:33,096 --> 01:00:35,963 he said, "Well, I would've thought the three guys 1281 01:00:35,999 --> 01:00:37,728 "would've been gay before the kid. 1282 01:00:37,767 --> 01:00:40,065 The kid's always been so tough." 1283 01:00:42,872 --> 01:00:44,669 What else? 1284 01:00:44,707 --> 01:00:47,039 He asked me what I thought he should do. 1285 01:00:48,378 --> 01:00:50,175 And? 1286 01:00:50,213 --> 01:00:52,340 And then he laughed. 1287 01:00:52,382 --> 01:00:54,680 About what? 1288 01:00:54,717 --> 01:00:57,686 He told me the story about how Mom had brought home 1289 01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:00,188 a porno one time. 1290 01:01:00,223 --> 01:01:01,690 God, I'd like to see that. 1291 01:01:01,724 --> 01:01:03,021 Yeah. 1292 01:01:03,059 --> 01:01:04,856 I guess Mom brought home this porno 1293 01:01:04,894 --> 01:01:07,886 and Dad was kind of nervous about watching it, 1294 01:01:07,930 --> 01:01:11,889 so Mom says, "When that bedroom door is open, 1295 01:01:11,934 --> 01:01:15,426 "I need you to be a shining example of Catholicism, 1296 01:01:15,471 --> 01:01:19,066 but when that door is shut, I need you to be the devil." 1297 01:01:21,244 --> 01:01:23,109 And then he said, 1298 01:01:23,146 --> 01:01:26,741 "What people do behind closed doors is their business." 1299 01:01:37,093 --> 01:01:39,220 That's all he said? 1300 01:01:39,262 --> 01:01:40,593 That's all. 1301 01:02:09,792 --> 01:02:10,918 I don't think we should've picked 1302 01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:12,484 the Wiener Circle for this. 1303 01:02:12,528 --> 01:02:16,760 No shit, but if I'm coming to the north side, I'm coming here. 1304 01:02:16,799 --> 01:02:18,960 I keep looking for a guy in a masquerade outfit. 1305 01:02:19,001 --> 01:02:21,595 I keep looking for a big cock. 1306 01:02:21,637 --> 01:02:23,264 I don't think I can do this. 1307 01:02:23,306 --> 01:02:25,035 You're the one that talked me into this. 1308 01:02:25,074 --> 01:02:26,200 Connor? Luke? 1309 01:02:26,242 --> 01:02:28,904 Oh, hey. Andy. Yes. 1310 01:02:28,945 --> 01:02:29,934 - Luke Riley. - Connor. 1311 01:02:29,979 --> 01:02:30,946 Good to meet you. 1312 01:02:30,980 --> 01:02:32,447 - Riley. - Got it. 1313 01:02:32,482 --> 01:02:33,506 I'll get the dogs. 1314 01:02:33,549 --> 01:02:35,449 All right. 1315 01:02:35,485 --> 01:02:36,782 And then I'll get the cocks. 1316 01:02:36,819 --> 01:02:37,979 Oh, great, thanks a lot. 1317 01:02:38,020 --> 01:02:39,282 That's all I'm going to be thinking about. 1318 01:02:39,322 --> 01:02:40,584 Weird he noticed us from behind. 1319 01:02:40,623 --> 01:02:42,989 Cheese? Cheese? 1320 01:02:47,697 --> 01:02:49,426 So, how you doing? 1321 01:02:49,465 --> 01:02:50,955 I'm good. 1322 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:52,797 How you doing? 1323 01:02:52,835 --> 01:02:54,325 Good. 1324 01:02:55,671 --> 01:02:57,161 Doing fine. 1325 01:02:59,008 --> 01:03:00,635 So, how long you been gay? 1326 01:03:01,811 --> 01:03:03,836 Well, that didn't take long, did it? 1327 01:03:05,348 --> 01:03:06,838 You like the Cubs? 1328 01:03:08,351 --> 01:03:10,649 - No. - I live for the Cubs. 1329 01:03:10,686 --> 01:03:13,314 My grandmother loved the Cubs. Never got to see 'em win a series. 1330 01:03:13,356 --> 01:03:14,983 My father was an Andy Frain last time 1331 01:03:15,024 --> 01:03:17,458 they were in the series, you know. 1332 01:03:17,493 --> 01:03:19,518 Back in '45. 1333 01:03:21,030 --> 01:03:23,828 So, what is it that you do, Andy? 1334 01:03:23,866 --> 01:03:25,834 I'm a lawyer. 1335 01:03:25,868 --> 01:03:27,859 Oh, we should set him up with Maggie. 1336 01:03:30,239 --> 01:03:33,174 See, we don't leave Connor alone with people very often. 1337 01:03:33,209 --> 01:03:34,506 Too uncomfortable. 1338 01:03:34,544 --> 01:03:37,672 So, have we seen you in commercials? 1339 01:03:37,713 --> 01:03:39,874 - No. - But you're an actor? 1340 01:03:39,916 --> 01:03:42,441 No, I'm a lawyer. 1341 01:03:42,485 --> 01:03:43,782 A litigator. 1342 01:03:43,820 --> 01:03:45,617 I went up against Maggie during her first trial 1343 01:03:45,655 --> 01:03:47,520 and that's how I got to know Bobby. 1344 01:03:47,557 --> 01:03:49,388 So, this is all Maggie's fault. 1345 01:03:50,893 --> 01:03:54,761 And... Bobby was gay then? 1346 01:03:54,797 --> 01:03:58,893 Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure. 1347 01:04:00,236 --> 01:04:04,263 You guys... you guys don't know any gay men, do you? 1348 01:04:05,441 --> 01:04:07,534 I've seen Will & Grace a few times. 1349 01:04:07,577 --> 01:04:09,204 I mean, Carrie has it on. 1350 01:04:09,245 --> 01:04:11,440 Did you know that funny gay guy, he was from Chicago? 1351 01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:13,209 Hmm. 1352 01:04:13,249 --> 01:04:15,877 And you guys had no idea that Bobby was gay? 1353 01:04:18,087 --> 01:04:22,251 And what did you hope to accomplish with this meeting? 1354 01:04:25,828 --> 01:04:28,888 Look, I don't want to make you guys feel uncomfortable but... 1355 01:04:28,931 --> 01:04:31,263 Too late. 1356 01:04:31,300 --> 01:04:33,200 But... 1357 01:04:34,237 --> 01:04:35,932 I'm in love with your brother. 1358 01:04:37,607 --> 01:04:40,576 Oh, man, I never thought I would hear that one. 1359 01:04:40,610 --> 01:04:42,271 Look, I don't want to seem rude, 1360 01:04:42,311 --> 01:04:44,973 but it seems like you guys don't understand 1361 01:04:45,014 --> 01:04:47,574 how wonderful Bobby is. 1362 01:04:47,617 --> 01:04:50,051 Wonderful sounds so... 1363 01:04:50,086 --> 01:04:51,212 Gay. 1364 01:04:51,254 --> 01:04:52,619 Yeah. 1365 01:04:54,457 --> 01:04:56,425 Look, Bobby's the same guy he's always been. 1366 01:04:56,459 --> 01:04:57,585 He loves his sports. 1367 01:04:57,627 --> 01:04:58,753 He loves the Cubs. 1368 01:04:58,794 --> 01:05:00,762 He loves the Broncos. 1369 01:05:00,796 --> 01:05:01,922 BOTH: Bears. 1370 01:05:01,964 --> 01:05:03,625 Look, yes. 1371 01:05:03,666 --> 01:05:05,896 The Bears and, uh... 1372 01:05:05,935 --> 01:05:08,927 So, Bobby's the straightest gay guy in Chicago? 1373 01:05:08,971 --> 01:05:10,802 It's like being the smartest retard. 1374 01:05:12,475 --> 01:05:14,943 Well, Bobby doesn't get his wit from the wind, huh? 1375 01:05:14,977 --> 01:05:16,444 Or his big dick? 1376 01:05:16,479 --> 01:05:18,379 Ha ha. 1377 01:05:18,414 --> 01:05:20,314 Uncomfortable. 1378 01:05:21,484 --> 01:05:23,611 You just made a retard joke and that's OK? 1379 01:05:23,653 --> 01:05:25,621 I make the big dick joke and I'm an asshole? 1380 01:05:25,655 --> 01:05:27,122 Do you see any retards here? 1381 01:05:27,156 --> 01:05:31,490 Hey, guys, you shouldn't make an asshole joke around me. 1382 01:05:31,527 --> 01:05:33,620 I'm kidding. 1383 01:05:33,663 --> 01:05:34,652 [Laughter] 1384 01:05:36,365 --> 01:05:38,060 He got you there. 1385 01:05:38,100 --> 01:05:40,000 Yeah, I'm gonna check on those dogs. 1386 01:05:40,036 --> 01:05:41,025 - OK. - Yeah. 1387 01:05:45,174 --> 01:05:48,075 So, Bobby has no idea that we're meeting, huh? 1388 01:05:49,679 --> 01:05:52,204 Well, I'm happy to answer any questions you've got, 1389 01:05:52,248 --> 01:05:55,115 but I really think you should be talking to Bobby. 1390 01:05:55,151 --> 01:05:57,676 And don't hate me, 1391 01:05:57,720 --> 01:06:01,713 but the other night you left a message on Bobby's machine 1392 01:06:01,757 --> 01:06:04,055 and I erased it... 1393 01:06:04,093 --> 01:06:06,926 before Bobby had a chance to hear it. 1394 01:06:10,032 --> 01:06:11,363 Thank you. 1395 01:06:14,370 --> 01:06:16,361 OK, here we go. 1396 01:06:18,307 --> 01:06:20,332 Now... 1397 01:06:20,376 --> 01:06:22,435 how much of this do you think I can get all the way 1398 01:06:22,478 --> 01:06:25,003 down my throat without gagging? 1399 01:06:25,047 --> 01:06:26,912 I'm kidding. 1400 01:06:34,557 --> 01:06:38,186 Luke and Connor are quite strange. 1401 01:06:38,227 --> 01:06:40,821 What? Did you just read that? 1402 01:06:40,863 --> 01:06:42,990 No, I met with them yesterday. 1403 01:06:44,900 --> 01:06:46,868 At their request. 1404 01:06:46,902 --> 01:06:48,733 At the Weiner Circle. 1405 01:06:50,906 --> 01:06:52,897 - How subtle of them. - Hmm. 1406 01:06:55,077 --> 01:06:56,772 You know, I think in their own little way, though, 1407 01:06:56,812 --> 01:06:58,074 that they're OK with you now. 1408 01:07:04,253 --> 01:07:06,881 Oh, and I've been working on our vows. 1409 01:07:06,922 --> 01:07:08,082 Bobby? 1410 01:07:09,625 --> 01:07:10,717 Hey, Bobby. 1411 01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:11,920 - Hey, how are ya? - Charlie. How are you? 1412 01:07:11,961 --> 01:07:13,394 Good to see ya. 1413 01:07:13,429 --> 01:07:14,794 When I didn't hear from ya, I thought you got a better offer. 1414 01:07:14,830 --> 01:07:16,058 - Yeah. - No, not at all. 1415 01:07:16,098 --> 01:07:17,395 - So... - Please sit down. 1416 01:07:17,433 --> 01:07:19,298 All right, great. 1417 01:07:19,335 --> 01:07:21,735 Uh, I just wanted to check in with you guys 1418 01:07:21,771 --> 01:07:23,295 and make sure the offer's still good. 1419 01:07:23,339 --> 01:07:24,636 - You bet. - Absolutely. 1420 01:07:24,673 --> 01:07:26,800 Great. Before I say yes, 1421 01:07:26,842 --> 01:07:28,036 I just need to tell you something. 1422 01:07:28,077 --> 01:07:29,066 OK. 1423 01:07:29,111 --> 01:07:30,408 I'm gay. 1424 01:07:30,446 --> 01:07:32,710 Bobby, you don't need to share that with us. 1425 01:07:32,748 --> 01:07:34,409 Your personal life is your own. 1426 01:07:34,450 --> 01:07:35,747 Appreciate that. 1427 01:07:35,785 --> 01:07:37,582 I just wanted to tell you, so it wouldn't be a problem. 1428 01:07:37,620 --> 01:07:39,588 Not a problem! 1429 01:07:39,622 --> 01:07:43,114 Please! We welcome that here. 1430 01:07:43,159 --> 01:07:44,251 All right, great. 1431 01:07:44,293 --> 01:07:45,658 I can't tell you how excited I am. 1432 01:07:45,694 --> 01:07:47,753 I'll give my old job two weeks 1433 01:07:47,797 --> 01:07:49,992 and then if I can start here on the 1st, that'd be great. 1434 01:07:50,032 --> 01:07:52,000 - Sounds great. - The 1st it is! 1435 01:07:52,034 --> 01:07:53,592 - Welcome aboard. - Thank you. 1436 01:07:53,636 --> 01:07:55,103 - All right, partner. - Thank you, Charlie. 1437 01:07:55,137 --> 01:07:56,297 - I appreciate it. - Congratulations. 1438 01:07:56,338 --> 01:07:57,430 Hey, hey. 1439 01:07:57,473 --> 01:08:00,271 I'd still love to have beers with ya. 1440 01:08:00,309 --> 01:08:01,435 You bet! 1441 01:08:01,477 --> 01:08:02,603 Beers! 1442 01:08:02,645 --> 01:08:03,839 You bet. 1443 01:08:03,879 --> 01:08:05,073 Thanks, guys, I'm gonna get back there 1444 01:08:05,114 --> 01:08:06,741 and act like I'm, uh, you know, still working 1445 01:08:06,782 --> 01:08:08,147 and, uh, I'll see ya in two. 1446 01:08:08,184 --> 01:08:10,084 - See ya soon. - All right, partner. 1447 01:08:10,119 --> 01:08:12,349 All right, congratulations. Good job. 1448 01:08:12,388 --> 01:08:15,482 Believe me, you guys had more to do with it than me. 1449 01:08:15,524 --> 01:08:18,118 You and your little community. 1450 01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:19,787 [Laughter] 1451 01:08:19,829 --> 01:08:21,490 All right, boys, these two are on the house. 1452 01:08:21,530 --> 01:08:23,930 Hey, thank you. 1453 01:08:23,966 --> 01:08:25,126 You're welcome. 1454 01:08:25,167 --> 01:08:27,533 Your dad is really going to be missed around here. 1455 01:08:27,570 --> 01:08:28,935 Thank you. What's your name? 1456 01:08:28,971 --> 01:08:30,700 - I'm Jerry. - Jerry, Luke, Connor. 1457 01:08:30,739 --> 01:08:31,797 You're new. 1458 01:08:31,841 --> 01:08:34,742 I am, but my brother Larry used to work here. 1459 01:08:34,777 --> 01:08:36,176 Long Dong Larry. 1460 01:08:36,212 --> 01:08:38,203 Hey, how is Long Dong doing? 1461 01:08:38,247 --> 01:08:39,578 He's good. He's fine. 1462 01:08:39,615 --> 01:08:40,877 You should have a drink with us. 1463 01:08:40,916 --> 01:08:43,578 - I probably shouldn't. - Quick, quick, quick one. 1464 01:08:43,619 --> 01:08:47,521 - There you go. - You and you and me. 1465 01:08:47,556 --> 01:08:49,649 - To Dad. - To Dad. 1466 01:08:49,692 --> 01:08:51,023 To your dad. 1467 01:08:52,728 --> 01:08:55,288 Hmm, and hot chicks. 1468 01:08:55,331 --> 01:08:57,492 Oh, yes. 1469 01:08:57,533 --> 01:09:00,764 Oh, wait, wait, to obligatory marriage sex on Saturday night. 1470 01:09:00,803 --> 01:09:02,202 It's all we got. 1471 01:09:06,375 --> 01:09:08,343 All right, where's Long Dong? 1472 01:09:08,377 --> 01:09:10,777 Long Dong was raising fighting roosters in Puerto Rico 1473 01:09:10,813 --> 01:09:12,804 for a while and then he developed 1474 01:09:12,848 --> 01:09:15,681 a bizarre lung disease, so we're not quite sure 1475 01:09:15,718 --> 01:09:16,616 what's going on with him. 1476 01:09:16,652 --> 01:09:17,846 - You said cock fighting? - Yeah. 1477 01:09:17,887 --> 01:09:19,184 - That sucks. - In Puerto Rico? 1478 01:09:19,221 --> 01:09:20,347 Yeah. 1479 01:09:20,389 --> 01:09:21,686 He thought it was the other kind of cock fighting, 1480 01:09:21,724 --> 01:09:23,214 but he still stayed in Puerto Rico. 1481 01:09:26,729 --> 01:09:29,357 Did you inherit your brother's long dong? 1482 01:09:29,398 --> 01:09:31,457 Oh, you did! 1483 01:09:31,500 --> 01:09:33,195 Here's to inheriting the long dong! 1484 01:09:33,235 --> 01:09:34,532 I'll drink to that. 1485 01:09:34,570 --> 01:09:36,299 Ireland is a cold country, we got the Irish curse. 1486 01:09:36,338 --> 01:09:37,532 To the angry inch! 1487 01:09:37,573 --> 01:09:38,540 All right! 1488 01:09:38,574 --> 01:09:40,166 Please. 1489 01:09:40,209 --> 01:09:41,699 Hmm. 1490 01:09:41,744 --> 01:09:45,373 Here's to having a gay brother who would love your long dong! 1491 01:09:45,414 --> 01:09:47,382 Hee hee. 1492 01:09:47,416 --> 01:09:50,214 It's late. I got to go. 1493 01:09:50,252 --> 01:09:51,879 Another brother. 1494 01:09:51,921 --> 01:09:54,583 I got to clean up. 1495 01:09:54,623 --> 01:09:55,885 We got two. 1496 01:09:55,925 --> 01:09:58,587 One's a priest. And one's gay. 1497 01:10:00,930 --> 01:10:03,091 Three hours of toasting and you got to go gay? 1498 01:10:03,132 --> 01:10:06,067 I thought we were all drunk enough. 1499 01:10:06,101 --> 01:10:09,901 Look, look, I'm not... I'm not good with words. 1500 01:10:09,939 --> 01:10:13,602 You got a lot of love, buddy. You make up for it in love. 1501 01:10:16,278 --> 01:10:19,076 Dad mention anything to you in his letter? 1502 01:10:19,114 --> 01:10:20,081 What? 1503 01:10:20,115 --> 01:10:21,673 Maggie's got a big mouth. 1504 01:10:21,717 --> 01:10:23,082 What? What did she tell him? 1505 01:10:23,118 --> 01:10:25,746 She said I was addicted to internet porn. 1506 01:10:25,788 --> 01:10:26,982 It's not funny. 1507 01:10:27,022 --> 01:10:28,580 - It's funny. - It's not... 1508 01:10:28,624 --> 01:10:31,923 Well, Dad... it's OK with Dad. 1509 01:10:31,961 --> 01:10:33,758 She told him I was a pothead. 1510 01:10:34,697 --> 01:10:37,097 Oh, what a bitch. 1511 01:10:37,132 --> 01:10:38,963 Is nothing sacred? 1512 01:10:41,303 --> 01:10:44,704 He wrote the most beautiful thing, though. 1513 01:10:44,740 --> 01:10:46,970 Yeah, me, too. 1514 01:10:48,143 --> 01:10:49,974 So unlike Dad. 1515 01:10:51,647 --> 01:10:53,911 You know, two hours of surfing porn a night 1516 01:10:53,949 --> 01:10:55,507 doesn't constitute an addiction. 1517 01:10:55,551 --> 01:10:58,111 You keep telling yourself that, buddy. 1518 01:10:58,153 --> 01:10:59,450 You're really going to go cold turkey? 1519 01:10:59,488 --> 01:11:01,820 Hmm, yep. 1520 01:11:01,857 --> 01:11:03,654 You want a computer? 1521 01:11:03,692 --> 01:11:05,489 You want a half-pound bag? 1522 01:11:09,999 --> 01:11:12,627 Dad mention anything to you about Bobby? 1523 01:11:12,668 --> 01:11:15,136 I was just thinking that, uh... 1524 01:11:15,170 --> 01:11:17,297 you know, if Dad's OK with it, who the hell are we? 1525 01:11:17,339 --> 01:11:18,966 Yeah. 1526 01:11:19,008 --> 01:11:24,002 Man, I never knew Dad was so, uh... sensitive. 1527 01:11:26,015 --> 01:11:28,074 - A strange man. - Strange man. 1528 01:11:28,684 --> 01:11:30,015 Good man. 1529 01:11:33,422 --> 01:11:35,253 - To you, my brother. - To you, brother. 1530 01:11:36,959 --> 01:11:40,952 Hey, here's to Dad. 1531 01:11:43,198 --> 01:11:45,166 To Dad. 1532 01:11:53,575 --> 01:11:55,372 Go long! Go long! 1533 01:11:55,411 --> 01:11:56,435 I'm open! I'm open! 1534 01:11:56,478 --> 01:11:57,809 Thank you. 1535 01:11:57,846 --> 01:11:59,711 Give it back. Come on. 1536 01:12:01,050 --> 01:12:02,176 Here he is! Here he is! 1537 01:12:02,217 --> 01:12:03,514 There's the man! 1538 01:12:03,552 --> 01:12:04,576 Playground closed? 1539 01:12:04,620 --> 01:12:07,020 Yes, you're late for the alternative altar-boy competition. 1540 01:12:07,056 --> 01:12:08,182 There's a lot of horny kids in there. 1541 01:12:08,223 --> 01:12:09,190 What's going on? 1542 01:12:09,224 --> 01:12:11,192 I came to return the tie I borrowed. 1543 01:12:11,226 --> 01:12:12,420 Thank you. 1544 01:12:12,461 --> 01:12:14,656 I forgot it. 1545 01:12:14,697 --> 01:12:17,427 And I just wanted to, uh, let you know 1546 01:12:17,466 --> 01:12:21,197 that I had the pictures checked out, and they're real. 1547 01:12:21,236 --> 01:12:23,534 Of course they are. 1548 01:12:23,572 --> 01:12:25,062 I just want to confirm that. 1549 01:12:26,408 --> 01:12:29,377 Luke and I met Bobby's, uh, what do you call him? 1550 01:12:29,411 --> 01:12:30,378 - Boyfriend. - Yes. 1551 01:12:30,412 --> 01:12:31,538 - Lover. - Yes. 1552 01:12:31,580 --> 01:12:34,879 - Fudge packer. - Partner. 1553 01:12:34,917 --> 01:12:36,043 Luke and I, we liked him. 1554 01:12:36,085 --> 01:12:37,382 I'm sure he's a nice guy. 1555 01:12:37,419 --> 01:12:39,546 He is. 1556 01:12:39,588 --> 01:12:42,580 Jack, come on we're not going to be singing Kumbaya 1557 01:12:42,624 --> 01:12:44,387 with his friends or anything, but you know... 1558 01:12:44,426 --> 01:12:46,951 You know, if you guys are expecting me 1559 01:12:46,995 --> 01:12:50,123 to jump on the bandwagon with this, I'm sorry, but I can't. 1560 01:12:50,165 --> 01:12:53,066 Oh, come on. Half the priesthood's gay. 1561 01:12:53,102 --> 01:12:54,069 So? 1562 01:12:54,103 --> 01:12:55,400 Oh, it's OK for them? 1563 01:12:55,437 --> 01:12:58,065 You guys have some idea that being a priest means 1564 01:12:58,107 --> 01:13:00,234 I'm a catechism robot. 1565 01:13:00,275 --> 01:13:01,640 That I can just extinguish my feelings 1566 01:13:01,677 --> 01:13:03,702 for some strict interpretation of the rules. 1567 01:13:03,746 --> 01:13:06,112 - Yes. - Well, here's a funny rule for ya. 1568 01:13:06,148 --> 01:13:08,548 Homosexuality is not wrong in the eyes of the church. 1569 01:13:08,584 --> 01:13:11,246 Homosexual acts are. 1570 01:13:11,286 --> 01:13:15,086 Well, you're kind of splitting pubic hairs there, Jack. 1571 01:13:15,124 --> 01:13:16,421 Maybe so. 1572 01:13:16,458 --> 01:13:18,790 Bobby and I are going to work this out in our own way. 1573 01:13:18,827 --> 01:13:21,057 Luke and I are going to express our understanding 1574 01:13:21,096 --> 01:13:22,154 in our own way, too. 1575 01:13:22,197 --> 01:13:24,131 Yes, and just to confirm, 1576 01:13:24,166 --> 01:13:26,794 the negative ratio of the exposed image is pure. 1577 01:13:29,638 --> 01:13:31,936 - Jack. Jack. - Jack. Jack. 1578 01:13:31,974 --> 01:13:33,999 Jack! 1579 01:13:34,042 --> 01:13:35,441 It's all right. 1580 01:13:35,477 --> 01:13:37,104 You know what? 1581 01:13:37,146 --> 01:13:41,276 Shh. Shh. 1582 01:13:41,316 --> 01:13:43,011 - Let's go. - All right, let's go. 1583 01:13:52,327 --> 01:13:53,589 So, that was a good dinner. 1584 01:13:53,629 --> 01:13:54,687 - Did you like it? - Yeah. 1585 01:13:54,730 --> 01:13:56,322 - Andy's meeting us here? - Yeah. 1586 01:13:56,365 --> 01:13:58,492 [Lively chatter, loud music playing] 1587 01:14:02,337 --> 01:14:03,463 What's this? 1588 01:14:03,505 --> 01:14:05,132 [Chuckles] 1589 01:14:05,174 --> 01:14:06,471 Just go. 1590 01:14:06,508 --> 01:14:08,169 - Maggie? - Hey! Hey! 1591 01:14:08,210 --> 01:14:09,973 [Cheering] 1592 01:14:10,012 --> 01:14:11,377 Hey! 1593 01:14:11,413 --> 01:14:13,973 This is the snap shot I should remember, 1594 01:14:14,016 --> 01:14:15,847 but let me back it up. 1595 01:14:15,884 --> 01:14:17,647 Back, back, back, back. 1596 01:14:17,686 --> 01:14:18,812 Right there. Stop. 1597 01:14:18,854 --> 01:14:20,321 A little bit forward. 1598 01:14:20,355 --> 01:14:21,982 You see the poster? 1599 01:14:22,024 --> 01:14:24,652 That's my brother's handwriting. 1600 01:14:24,693 --> 01:14:27,821 Imagine the planning that went into that. 1601 01:14:27,863 --> 01:14:29,990 [Cheering] 1602 01:14:30,032 --> 01:14:31,226 Bobby! 1603 01:14:31,266 --> 01:14:33,996 [Music drowning out dialogue] 1604 01:14:34,036 --> 01:14:36,334 Their bodies make me want to cry. 1605 01:14:36,371 --> 01:14:38,498 This is not the way I envisioned it, guys. 1606 01:14:38,540 --> 01:14:40,872 I don't know if I should be happy, sad, or pissed. 1607 01:14:40,909 --> 01:14:42,206 Be happy. 1608 01:14:42,244 --> 01:14:43,905 Oh, it's a lot of emotion for one man, 1609 01:14:43,946 --> 01:14:45,709 but, you know, you are gay! 1610 01:14:45,747 --> 01:14:47,044 [Cheering] 1611 01:14:54,456 --> 01:14:56,617 Hey. 1612 01:14:56,658 --> 01:14:58,250 Too much? 1613 01:14:58,293 --> 01:14:59,317 No. 1614 01:14:59,361 --> 01:15:00,453 I love you. 1615 01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:02,020 I love you, too. 1616 01:15:02,064 --> 01:15:04,362 [Cheering] 1617 01:15:04,399 --> 01:15:07,891 Times like this make me want to dance. 1618 01:15:07,936 --> 01:15:09,904 [Music playing] 1619 01:15:47,843 --> 01:15:50,277 I'd like to make a toast... 1620 01:15:50,312 --> 01:15:53,372 to Andy and Bobby. 1621 01:15:53,415 --> 01:15:56,942 Your friendship and your love is... 1622 01:15:56,985 --> 01:15:59,749 it's an inspiration. 1623 01:15:59,788 --> 01:16:02,951 A motivation for those of us who haven't yet found 1624 01:16:02,991 --> 01:16:05,983 the perfect partner, 1625 01:16:06,028 --> 01:16:07,893 but looking at the two of you, 1626 01:16:09,364 --> 01:16:11,696 I know that it's out there. 1627 01:16:11,733 --> 01:16:13,667 To true love. 1628 01:16:13,702 --> 01:16:15,670 - ALL: True love. - [Cheering] 1629 01:16:20,976 --> 01:16:23,444 I didn't mean to hide it from you guys. 1630 01:16:23,478 --> 01:16:25,810 It's not like it just came up. 1631 01:16:27,482 --> 01:16:30,144 Hey, we lived together. We shared a room. 1632 01:16:31,653 --> 01:16:32,779 I'm sorry. 1633 01:16:32,821 --> 01:16:34,448 All right. 1634 01:16:34,489 --> 01:16:36,480 It's OK. 1635 01:16:36,525 --> 01:16:38,288 What about Jack? 1636 01:16:38,327 --> 01:16:42,627 Oh, well, this is how Connor and I are going to deal with it. 1637 01:16:42,664 --> 01:16:46,065 You and Jack, you've got to figure out your own way. 1638 01:16:46,101 --> 01:16:49,559 So the gay thing, it... 1639 01:16:49,605 --> 01:16:51,573 I don't want to sound all enlightened and profound, 1640 01:16:51,607 --> 01:16:55,634 but, uh... a cock in another guy's ass or mouth, 1641 01:16:55,677 --> 01:16:57,645 that's going to wake some of us up. 1642 01:16:57,679 --> 01:16:59,670 Some more than others, you know? 1643 01:17:02,017 --> 01:17:04,645 He really shouldn't be drinking. 1644 01:17:04,686 --> 01:17:06,347 Or going out in public, either one. 1645 01:17:06,388 --> 01:17:08,219 You can pick one, but you can't do both. 1646 01:17:08,256 --> 01:17:10,156 I'm all right. 1647 01:17:10,192 --> 01:17:14,652 You know, I've heard of people surprising others by coming out, 1648 01:17:14,696 --> 01:17:17,665 but I've never heard of the surprise coming-out party. 1649 01:17:17,699 --> 01:17:19,826 Hello! 1650 01:17:19,868 --> 01:17:20,835 You want that? 1651 01:17:20,869 --> 01:17:22,700 Yeah. I'm good. 1652 01:17:25,273 --> 01:17:29,175 Hey, just between us three... 1653 01:17:29,211 --> 01:17:30,872 are you pitching or catching? 1654 01:17:30,912 --> 01:17:32,777 Ha ha ha. 1655 01:17:32,814 --> 01:17:34,338 That's a fair question. 1656 01:17:34,383 --> 01:17:36,010 That's a very good question. 1657 01:17:36,051 --> 01:17:39,384 No. You... Do you... 1658 01:17:51,400 --> 01:17:53,231 [Bell chiming] 1659 01:18:06,581 --> 01:18:08,208 Hello, Bobby. 1660 01:18:08,250 --> 01:18:09,877 How'd you know it was me? 1661 01:18:11,086 --> 01:18:13,213 I know everything. 1662 01:18:13,255 --> 01:18:15,223 You guys got some little security system back there. 1663 01:18:15,257 --> 01:18:16,417 Don't you? 1664 01:18:16,458 --> 01:18:17,925 Would you like to confess? 1665 01:18:17,959 --> 01:18:19,256 Not really. 1666 01:18:19,294 --> 01:18:21,489 Well, that's kind of the thing people do in here. 1667 01:18:21,530 --> 01:18:22,792 I don't have anything to confess. 1668 01:18:22,831 --> 01:18:24,560 We all have something to confess. 1669 01:18:24,599 --> 01:18:26,066 What do you need to confess? 1670 01:18:26,101 --> 01:18:27,796 You're not qualified to know. 1671 01:18:27,836 --> 01:18:28,894 So, I've got to be a priest 1672 01:18:28,937 --> 01:18:30,131 so you can open up to your own brother? 1673 01:18:30,172 --> 01:18:31,901 Oh, you're going to start lecturing me 1674 01:18:31,940 --> 01:18:33,134 on opening up to your brothers? 1675 01:18:33,175 --> 01:18:34,972 Your family, your sister? 1676 01:18:35,010 --> 01:18:36,568 I told Maggs. 1677 01:18:36,611 --> 01:18:38,044 Yeah, I know. 1678 01:18:38,080 --> 01:18:39,240 Let me guess, that pisses you off 1679 01:18:39,281 --> 01:18:41,408 I told her and didn't tell the rest of you. 1680 01:18:41,450 --> 01:18:42,917 Everything's not a competition. 1681 01:18:42,951 --> 01:18:45,579 What family did you grow up in? 1682 01:18:45,620 --> 01:18:48,418 You know what, after the last few weeks, I'm not so sure. 1683 01:18:48,457 --> 01:18:49,924 Cut your little "Good night, John Boy," 1684 01:18:49,958 --> 01:18:51,448 holier-than-thou priest bullshit. 1685 01:18:51,493 --> 01:18:52,960 Hey, I can't stop being a priest. 1686 01:18:52,994 --> 01:18:54,484 And I can't stop being gay. 1687 01:18:54,529 --> 01:18:56,759 No, but you can stop performing homosexual acts. 1688 01:18:56,798 --> 01:18:59,164 What's the purpose of being gay? 1689 01:18:59,201 --> 01:19:01,999 I'm a celibate heterosexual priest. 1690 01:19:02,037 --> 01:19:04,198 Yeah, and that stopped you guys from having sex with everyone. 1691 01:19:04,239 --> 01:19:05,934 We're not talking about other priests. 1692 01:19:05,974 --> 01:19:07,498 We're talking about me. 1693 01:19:08,877 --> 01:19:11,107 Maybe this isn't the place or the time to talk about this. 1694 01:19:11,146 --> 01:19:13,273 Oh, no. That's convenient for you. 1695 01:19:13,315 --> 01:19:15,909 You know, everyone has this really rigid view 1696 01:19:15,951 --> 01:19:17,942 of how priests are supposed to think. 1697 01:19:17,986 --> 01:19:19,647 Dad, in his letter to me in the will, 1698 01:19:19,688 --> 01:19:22,452 told me I should accept you with open arms. 1699 01:19:22,491 --> 01:19:25,119 Like I could ever stop loving you. 1700 01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:27,128 But that doesn't mean I'm not praying for you. 1701 01:19:27,162 --> 01:19:30,029 I'm praying every day that you make a better choice. 1702 01:19:30,065 --> 01:19:32,795 Yeah, that's what I need, your condescending sympathy. 1703 01:19:32,834 --> 01:19:35,234 Jack, I just want things to go back to the way they were. 1704 01:19:35,270 --> 01:19:37,602 How can you expect me to look the other way 1705 01:19:37,639 --> 01:19:39,004 when I know you're sinning? 1706 01:19:39,040 --> 01:19:40,974 If God's so against homosexuality, 1707 01:19:41,009 --> 01:19:42,636 then why did he make me gay? 1708 01:19:42,677 --> 01:19:44,144 You choose to be gay. 1709 01:19:44,179 --> 01:19:47,148 Hell, no. It's who I am. Just like you're a priest. 1710 01:19:47,182 --> 01:19:48,649 That's my calling. 1711 01:19:48,683 --> 01:19:50,207 Being gay is my calling. 1712 01:19:50,252 --> 01:19:51,549 Really? 1713 01:19:51,586 --> 01:19:53,781 Then why did you hide it from Dad? 1714 01:19:55,991 --> 01:19:58,357 I didn't want to be blamed for his death. 1715 01:20:01,696 --> 01:20:03,994 I loved Dad, Jackie... 1716 01:20:04,032 --> 01:20:05,465 but I didn't know how to tell him. 1717 01:20:05,500 --> 01:20:08,469 Hey, Dad, you're dying but before you die, 1718 01:20:08,503 --> 01:20:10,562 I gotta do something for me, 1719 01:20:10,605 --> 01:20:14,336 'cause it's never about you, it's always about me. 1720 01:20:14,376 --> 01:20:17,311 You lost the love of your life way too early, 1721 01:20:17,345 --> 01:20:18,835 but you didn't make that about you. 1722 01:20:18,880 --> 01:20:20,541 You made that about us. 1723 01:20:20,582 --> 01:20:21,879 You weren't a hugger, 1724 01:20:21,917 --> 01:20:25,114 but you hugged me every day for a whole year 1725 01:20:25,153 --> 01:20:27,849 because I cried about losing Mom. 1726 01:20:27,889 --> 01:20:30,551 Not once did I ever think, oh, hug Dad 1727 01:20:30,592 --> 01:20:33,083 'cause he lost his wife, 1728 01:20:33,128 --> 01:20:36,393 'cause it was always about me, it wasn't about you. 1729 01:20:41,069 --> 01:20:42,229 Exactly. 1730 01:20:51,746 --> 01:20:53,714 Don't blame me, Jack. 1731 01:20:53,748 --> 01:20:55,875 For the first time in my life, by not telling him, 1732 01:20:55,917 --> 01:20:58,579 I was thinking about him, instead of me, 1733 01:20:58,620 --> 01:21:01,248 which didn't matter because Maggie, 1734 01:21:01,289 --> 01:21:03,052 who keeps a secret about as well as a whore 1735 01:21:03,091 --> 01:21:06,026 keeps her legs closed, she told him. 1736 01:21:06,061 --> 01:21:08,120 He didn't care. 1737 01:21:08,163 --> 01:21:10,097 He just wished we were closer 1738 01:21:10,131 --> 01:21:12,759 so I could've felt more comfortable to tell him. 1739 01:21:15,437 --> 01:21:18,099 Just like a homo to get all sappy, huh? 1740 01:21:21,276 --> 01:21:25,406 I could make this big dramatic moment and slam the door, 1741 01:21:25,447 --> 01:21:27,779 but that's not me, Jack. 1742 01:21:30,118 --> 01:21:31,608 I'll see ya. 1743 01:21:49,304 --> 01:21:52,637 You forgot to, uh, bless yourself with the holy water. 1744 01:21:58,380 --> 01:22:01,872 Hey, kid, the holy water cleanses you 1745 01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:04,078 with the grace of the Holy Spirit. 1746 01:22:33,682 --> 01:22:34,979 So, there you have it. 1747 01:22:35,016 --> 01:22:37,314 My gay Chicago story. 1748 01:22:37,352 --> 01:22:38,944 Now, if my life were a movie, 1749 01:22:38,987 --> 01:22:41,148 I'd probably cue some cool music. 1750 01:22:41,189 --> 01:22:42,178 [Music playing] 1751 01:22:42,223 --> 01:22:44,157 And show some people loving me. 1752 01:22:44,192 --> 01:22:45,352 Like my co-workers. 1753 01:22:45,393 --> 01:22:46,485 That's something to celebrate! 1754 01:22:46,528 --> 01:22:48,894 Good for you! [Mouths] 1755 01:22:48,930 --> 01:22:50,124 And my family. 1756 01:22:50,165 --> 01:22:53,498 [Music drowning out dialogue] 1757 01:22:53,535 --> 01:22:54,661 And of course Andy. 1758 01:22:54,703 --> 01:22:57,297 Everyone here knows you're gay anyway, Bobby! 1759 01:22:57,339 --> 01:22:59,364 Everybody knows. It's in your little walk. 1760 01:22:59,407 --> 01:23:00,874 They see it. 1761 01:23:00,909 --> 01:23:06,404 Andy's therapist would tell me that my life isn't a movie... 1762 01:23:06,448 --> 01:23:08,348 that everybody doesn't love me. 1763 01:23:08,383 --> 01:23:10,851 I don't save the day, I don't get the guy, 1764 01:23:10,885 --> 01:23:15,015 and I most definitely don't ride off into the sunset. 1765 01:23:15,056 --> 01:23:17,354 Andy's therapist... 1766 01:23:17,392 --> 01:23:19,724 he can go fuck himself. 1767 01:23:37,746 --> 01:23:40,408 OK, see ya next week. 1768 01:23:47,922 --> 01:23:49,981 OK, I got to tell you a secret. 1769 01:23:50,025 --> 01:23:51,549 Don't tell anyone. 1770 01:23:51,593 --> 01:23:53,254 When I was in high school, 1771 01:23:53,294 --> 01:23:55,091 I learned how to forge Dad's handwriting. 1772 01:23:55,130 --> 01:23:56,654 You know, so I could write myself notes 1773 01:23:56,698 --> 01:23:59,223 to get out of class. 1774 01:23:59,267 --> 01:24:02,236 You know those letters the boys got in the will? 1775 01:24:02,270 --> 01:24:05,068 Yeah, Dad didn't write those. 1776 01:24:06,107 --> 01:24:07,938 I did. 1777 01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:14,874 All right, bye. 1778 01:26:16,271 --> 01:26:17,295 (music) Yeah (music) 1779 01:26:25,914 --> 01:26:28,246 (music) Well, the wrecks, toss and mix (music) 1780 01:26:28,283 --> 01:26:30,877 (music) This old wheel keeps spinning round (music) 1781 01:26:30,919 --> 01:26:33,285 (music) Get your kicks, take my licks (music) 1782 01:26:33,321 --> 01:26:35,915 (music) This whole deal is lost and found (music) 1783 01:26:35,957 --> 01:26:38,289 (music) No surprise, tell me lies (music) 1784 01:26:38,326 --> 01:26:40,920 (music) I've been down this hole before (music) 1785 01:26:40,962 --> 01:26:43,294 (music) Criticize, apologize (music) 1786 01:26:43,331 --> 01:26:46,494 (music) Try to quit but I need more (music) 1787 01:26:46,534 --> 01:26:48,729 (music) And I'm two steps closer to midnight (music) 1788 01:26:48,770 --> 01:26:51,330 (music) And I'm not turning blue (music) 1789 01:26:51,372 --> 01:26:53,966 (music) I'm two steps closer to midnight (music) 1790 01:26:54,008 --> 01:26:56,476 (music) A stranger in my shoes (music) 1791 01:26:56,511 --> 01:26:59,002 (music) You know I do it all right (music) 1792 01:26:59,047 --> 01:27:01,413 (music) If I knew just what to do (music) 1793 01:27:01,449 --> 01:27:04,145 (music) Well, I'm two steps closer to midnight (music) 1794 01:27:04,185 --> 01:27:07,780 (music) I wish I was, I wish was with you (music) 1795 01:27:16,197 --> 01:27:18,757 (music) Flip the bird, thin the herd (music) 1796 01:27:18,800 --> 01:27:21,462 (music) I don't need it anymore (music) 1797 01:27:21,502 --> 01:27:23,766 (music) Speak the word, feel absurd (music) 1798 01:27:23,805 --> 01:27:26,000 (music) It's all coming true (music) 1799 01:27:26,040 --> 01:27:29,942 Oh, hey, you think I forgot about you guys? 1800 01:27:29,978 --> 01:27:33,311 So, yeah, I'm gay. 1801 01:27:33,348 --> 01:27:36,442 And the problem with making the movie of my gay life 1802 01:27:36,484 --> 01:27:38,281 is there won't be any action. 1803 01:27:38,319 --> 01:27:39,752 No stunts. 1804 01:27:39,787 --> 01:27:41,778 Like a gay Fie Hard. 1805 01:27:41,823 --> 01:27:44,815 Now that'd be good, but you try raising money 1806 01:27:44,859 --> 01:27:46,292 for Raider's of the Lost Ark 1807 01:27:46,327 --> 01:27:47,919 meets Billy's First Hollywood Kiss. 1808 01:27:47,962 --> 01:27:51,295 So settle for two guys talking about their feelings 1809 01:27:51,332 --> 01:27:52,993 in a gay artsy way. 1810 01:27:53,034 --> 01:27:54,865 No stunts. 1811 01:27:57,238 --> 01:27:58,967 Ninjas! 1812 01:28:01,342 --> 01:28:02,832 [Grunting] 1813 01:28:22,597 --> 01:28:24,758 The actor playing Bobby couldn't do this stunt. 1814 01:28:24,799 --> 01:28:26,994 That's why I'm here to finish his dialogue. 1815 01:28:27,035 --> 01:28:30,664 The penis is a very wonderful and tasty appendage. 1816 01:28:30,705 --> 01:28:33,230 - I can't say this shit! - [Horn blaring] 1817 01:28:33,274 --> 01:28:34,536 Ohh! 1818 01:28:40,948 --> 01:28:42,381 Hoo! 1819 01:28:47,000 --> 01:28:48,381 {{{the end}}} 128506

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