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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:03,871 Okay, Grover, this is it. 2 00:00:03,896 --> 00:00:06,014 If the kicker misses, we stay alive, 3 00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:07,675 and those losers go home. 4 00:00:08,072 --> 00:00:10,921 But... if he misses, won't he feel sad? 5 00:00:10,946 --> 00:00:12,638 Yeah, he'll be devastated. 6 00:00:13,690 --> 00:00:15,683 It's my favorite part of football. 7 00:00:16,330 --> 00:00:18,185 Okay, here comes the kick. 8 00:00:21,150 --> 00:00:22,518 Yes! No good! 9 00:00:22,543 --> 00:00:24,179 No good! 10 00:00:24,204 --> 00:00:25,663 Ha! That's so good! 11 00:00:25,688 --> 00:00:27,424 Look at his... look at his face. 12 00:00:27,449 --> 00:00:28,679 Oh, what happened? 13 00:00:28,704 --> 00:00:30,122 The kicker missed the field goal. 14 00:00:30,147 --> 00:00:32,243 Aw. He must feel so sad. 15 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,085 Is Tina still at church? 16 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:36,469 It's getting kind of late. 17 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,623 Yeah, she's on the selection committee 18 00:00:38,648 --> 00:00:39,969 to choose a new pastor. 19 00:00:40,047 --> 00:00:41,916 She really likes this latest candidate. 20 00:00:41,941 --> 00:00:44,414 Ooh, is he the "fire and brimstone" type, 21 00:00:44,439 --> 00:00:46,689 or more of a hip, guitar-playing dude 22 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,509 who's down with the G-O-D? 23 00:00:49,747 --> 00:00:51,475 I haven't met him. 24 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:54,031 But Tina spending Sundays at church 25 00:00:54,056 --> 00:00:56,688 lets this dude be down with the NFL. 26 00:00:56,713 --> 00:00:59,115 And if that's not the Lord's work, 27 00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,828 I don't know what is. 28 00:01:03,157 --> 00:01:04,157 Oh. 29 00:01:04,182 --> 00:01:05,203 Hey, guys. 30 00:01:05,228 --> 00:01:06,930 This is Pastor Don. 31 00:01:07,161 --> 00:01:10,078 Pastor Don, this is my lovely husband, Calvin, 32 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:12,241 our neighbor Dave and his son Grover. 33 00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:13,273 - Hi. How are you? - Hi. 34 00:01:13,298 --> 00:01:14,785 It's nice to meet you all. 35 00:01:15,006 --> 00:01:16,452 So, uh... 36 00:01:17,087 --> 00:01:19,623 what brings you by, Pastor, 37 00:01:19,926 --> 00:01:22,249 just before the late game starts? 38 00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:26,257 Well, I invited him to join us for Sunday dinner. 39 00:01:26,282 --> 00:01:28,109 There. 40 00:01:28,134 --> 00:01:30,250 Whoa, whoa, Tina, what are you doing? 41 00:01:30,275 --> 00:01:33,102 I didn't invite the pastor over here to watch football. 42 00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,195 I brought him here to get to know us better. 43 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:38,256 Well, let me start by letting you know 44 00:01:38,281 --> 00:01:41,219 how much I love football. 45 00:01:42,213 --> 00:01:44,320 Calvin. 46 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:46,719 Fine. 47 00:01:46,744 --> 00:01:48,234 Hey. 48 00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:49,969 That's the same face the kicker made. 49 00:01:55,525 --> 00:01:57,785 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 50 00:01:58,256 --> 00:02:00,033 So, Pastor Don, congratulations 51 00:02:00,058 --> 00:02:01,361 on your new job. 52 00:02:01,386 --> 00:02:02,494 Or should I say... 53 00:02:02,525 --> 00:02:03,916 "Job." 54 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:07,838 So, uh, 55 00:02:07,863 --> 00:02:11,382 blasphemy's okay, but I can't watch football? 56 00:02:11,955 --> 00:02:14,260 You know, the truth is, I-I don't have the job yet. 57 00:02:14,285 --> 00:02:16,041 I'm still on a trial run. 58 00:02:16,096 --> 00:02:18,353 All right, everyone, dinner is served. 59 00:02:18,431 --> 00:02:21,813 All right. You know, if we cut down on the chitchat, 60 00:02:21,838 --> 00:02:23,854 we can be done by halftime. 61 00:02:23,971 --> 00:02:27,460 Okay, so, Pastor, why don't you sit here 62 00:02:27,485 --> 00:02:29,693 at the head of the table? Right, Calvin? 63 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,737 Of course. 64 00:02:34,509 --> 00:02:36,931 Well, here, take my seat. I left it nice and warm for you. 65 00:02:39,815 --> 00:02:41,775 Okay, so, Pastor Don, 66 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,668 would you do the honor of saying grace? 67 00:02:43,693 --> 00:02:45,464 - My pleasure. - Ah. 68 00:02:47,275 --> 00:02:49,516 Father God, we ask that you bless this meal, 69 00:02:49,541 --> 00:02:51,150 everyone here, 70 00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:52,736 and especially bless 71 00:02:52,761 --> 00:02:53,830 - Sister Tina, - Mm-hmm. 72 00:02:53,854 --> 00:02:56,593 The one who made it. 73 00:02:59,423 --> 00:03:02,224 Can you throw in something about my spelling test tomorrow? 74 00:03:04,222 --> 00:03:05,260 Grover. 75 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,854 No, it's okay. I like the boy's spirit. 76 00:03:06,879 --> 00:03:09,232 Hey, you all should join us at church on Sunday. 77 00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:10,681 We'd love to! 78 00:03:10,838 --> 00:03:12,174 Ooh, I've always wanted to wear 79 00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:14,025 one of those big fancy church hats. 80 00:03:14,050 --> 00:03:16,531 And now I finally have a big fancy chance. 81 00:03:18,104 --> 00:03:19,806 Ah, look at that, table neighbor. 82 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,202 The Lord just keeps bringing us together. 83 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:24,998 God is good. 84 00:03:26,517 --> 00:03:28,150 Yes, He is. 85 00:03:28,339 --> 00:03:30,985 No matter what Sister Rose said about Him at Bible study. 86 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,716 Hey, what-what'd she say? 87 00:03:35,398 --> 00:03:37,164 Oh, it's a long story. 88 00:03:37,189 --> 00:03:38,525 You had to be there. 89 00:03:38,994 --> 00:03:41,236 But your comeback was hilarious. 90 00:03:42,824 --> 00:03:44,659 Wha... What was your comeback? 91 00:03:44,684 --> 00:03:46,644 Oh... 92 00:03:47,808 --> 00:03:49,947 Baby, you had to be there for that, too. 93 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,547 Well, I'm glad I was. 94 00:03:52,572 --> 00:03:54,385 Sister Rose was so embarrassed, 95 00:03:54,410 --> 00:03:56,931 she pretended she was speaking in tongues. 96 00:03:57,435 --> 00:03:59,065 That... that's funny. 97 00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:01,354 You know what it reminds me of, 98 00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:04,133 is last week in the supermarket when the checkout guy said, 99 00:04:04,158 --> 00:04:05,297 "ketchup sauce." 100 00:04:05,322 --> 00:04:06,815 Remember that, Tina? 101 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,916 Uh-huh. That was funny, too. 102 00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:12,443 Man, I wish I was there. 103 00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:14,290 Ah, "ketchup sauce." 104 00:04:14,315 --> 00:04:16,096 That sounds hysterical. 105 00:04:17,493 --> 00:04:20,080 You know, you all have such a lovely home. 106 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,502 How would you feel about hosting Bible study here 107 00:04:22,527 --> 00:04:23,908 this Thursday night? 108 00:04:23,933 --> 00:04:26,385 - We'd love to! - We would? 109 00:04:28,245 --> 00:04:31,105 Yeah. I mean, yeah, we would. Yeah. 110 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,658 Oh-ho-ho! 111 00:04:36,683 --> 00:04:38,736 - Ha-ha! - Damn it! 112 00:04:38,761 --> 00:04:41,086 It's like you knew I was gonna do a fake punt. 113 00:04:41,111 --> 00:04:44,715 I did. You literally just said, "Watch this fake punt." 114 00:04:45,755 --> 00:04:48,956 I was talking to my team. Quit listening to my huddle! 115 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,427 Uh, what was that? 116 00:04:52,452 --> 00:04:54,388 That's my new upstairs neighbor. 117 00:04:55,709 --> 00:04:57,200 Man, that has got to be annoying. 118 00:04:57,225 --> 00:04:58,575 Yeah, that's not all. 119 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,396 Yesterday he parked his pickup truck 120 00:05:00,421 --> 00:05:02,856 so close to my car, I had to climb out through the trunk. 121 00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:06,067 Oh, man. Wait, do you have security cameras in your garage? 122 00:05:06,092 --> 00:05:07,583 Oh, you mean so I could show the landlord? 123 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:10,304 No. So I can watch you squeeze your nerdy ass out of that trunk. 124 00:05:13,915 --> 00:05:15,050 Hey, Calvin. 125 00:05:15,075 --> 00:05:16,762 Oh, hey, Gemma. 126 00:05:17,035 --> 00:05:19,838 It was so nice getting to know Pastor Don last night. 127 00:05:19,863 --> 00:05:21,699 He's very charming. 128 00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:23,240 Yeah, he's fine. 129 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:27,687 Uh-oh. That's the same "fine" Dave's mom gave me 130 00:05:27,712 --> 00:05:30,248 when I asked her how I looked in my wedding dress. 131 00:05:30,965 --> 00:05:33,936 You know, I just don't like how chummy he is with Tina. 132 00:05:34,265 --> 00:05:36,630 Did you see him hold her hand at dinner? 133 00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:38,840 Calvin, we were saying grace. 134 00:05:39,591 --> 00:05:41,786 Well, did you see what he did after dinner? 135 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,595 What kind of pastor drinks scotch? 136 00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:46,910 You offered it to him. 137 00:05:47,261 --> 00:05:49,893 As a test... which he failed. 138 00:05:51,590 --> 00:05:52,910 I don't know, 139 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,661 this guy's up to no good. 140 00:05:54,858 --> 00:05:57,061 Well, to be honest, I know how you feel. 141 00:05:57,086 --> 00:05:58,825 - You do? - Yeah. 142 00:05:58,850 --> 00:06:01,695 Women are always throwing themselves at Dave. 143 00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:06,158 Did you date another Dave before this one? 144 00:06:07,527 --> 00:06:10,663 I'm just saying, if your gut's telling you something, trust it. 145 00:06:10,994 --> 00:06:12,208 Yeah, you're right. 146 00:06:12,356 --> 00:06:14,265 I need to keep an eye on him. 147 00:06:14,702 --> 00:06:17,138 Hmm. It's not easy, but it's the price we pay 148 00:06:17,163 --> 00:06:19,714 for falling in love with hotties. 149 00:06:22,070 --> 00:06:23,388 All right. 150 00:06:23,413 --> 00:06:26,262 Now, if I can trap him into taking my bishop, 151 00:06:26,425 --> 00:06:28,036 I can take his queen. 152 00:06:28,061 --> 00:06:30,892 Ha! Now you're talking to yourself. 153 00:06:31,843 --> 00:06:33,302 Actually, I was talking to you. 154 00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:35,630 Ha. Checkmate. 155 00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:39,302 Yo, seriously, 156 00:06:39,327 --> 00:06:41,059 you haven't taken care of this cowboy yet? 157 00:06:41,099 --> 00:06:43,167 I sure did. I confronted the guy 158 00:06:43,192 --> 00:06:44,192 and told him what's what. 159 00:06:44,224 --> 00:06:46,036 - Oh, you did? - Yes. 160 00:06:46,061 --> 00:06:48,715 Via a friendly note I slid under his door. 161 00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:50,371 But I think 162 00:06:50,396 --> 00:06:53,239 the Starbucks gift card sent quite a message. 163 00:06:53,598 --> 00:06:56,185 Marty, you have backed down from stuff your whole life. 164 00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:58,778 Remember your first day at USC when one of your professors 165 00:06:58,803 --> 00:07:00,963 called you Morty, and you never corrected him? 166 00:07:01,114 --> 00:07:02,505 It wasn't that big a deal. 167 00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:04,551 Your diploma says Morton Butler! 168 00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,753 Okay, Marty, I could go upstairs 169 00:07:14,778 --> 00:07:16,347 and take care of this for your sorry ass. 170 00:07:16,372 --> 00:07:17,966 Yes, that'd be great. 171 00:07:19,181 --> 00:07:20,249 Come on, little bro, 172 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,411 you can't keep running from your problems forever. 173 00:07:22,624 --> 00:07:25,661 Think about it... what would Yoda tell you to do? 174 00:07:25,807 --> 00:07:28,020 I guess he'd say... 175 00:07:28,311 --> 00:07:30,827 Confront him, you should. 176 00:07:31,528 --> 00:07:32,917 Exactly. 177 00:07:32,942 --> 00:07:34,637 Then why are you still standing here? 178 00:07:34,859 --> 00:07:37,000 Because stalling, I am. 179 00:07:41,226 --> 00:07:42,888 All right, everyone, let's dig in and see 180 00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:45,364 what the Lord has to say about helping those in need. 181 00:07:45,389 --> 00:07:47,012 But first, what I need is another piece 182 00:07:47,037 --> 00:07:49,060 of Sister Tina's delicious peach cobbler. 183 00:07:49,715 --> 00:07:52,128 Aw. Thank you, Pastor. 184 00:07:52,153 --> 00:07:53,926 Ask and you shall receive. 185 00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:56,333 Oh, thank you. 186 00:07:56,358 --> 00:07:58,730 Hey, everybody. Sorry I'm late. 187 00:07:58,755 --> 00:08:00,457 Oh, baby, what are you doing here? 188 00:08:00,482 --> 00:08:02,324 I thought you were playing poker with the guys. 189 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:03,914 I changed my mind. 190 00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:06,325 Tonight I'm betting it all on God. 191 00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:08,516 Well, Brother Calvin, 192 00:08:08,541 --> 00:08:10,070 you came to the right place. 193 00:08:10,611 --> 00:08:13,628 And you're sitting in the wrong one. Okay, come on. 194 00:08:13,653 --> 00:08:15,570 Oh. Sorry. 195 00:08:16,165 --> 00:08:19,333 Now, to quote Jesus after he rose from the dead: 196 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,586 "What'd I miss?" 197 00:08:29,115 --> 00:08:31,435 I want to thank you both so much for hosting tonight. 198 00:08:31,450 --> 00:08:32,490 No. Thank you. 199 00:08:32,515 --> 00:08:34,857 - Your words were so inspiring. - Oh, thank you. 200 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:37,226 Good stuff, now. All right. 201 00:08:38,613 --> 00:08:40,214 Thank you, Brother Calvin. 202 00:08:40,239 --> 00:08:41,965 Sister Tina, I'll see you Sunday morning. 203 00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:43,425 Ooh, she'll be there. 204 00:08:43,473 --> 00:08:46,737 My wife... 30 years, two kids! 205 00:08:47,107 --> 00:08:48,342 Hmm. 206 00:08:48,367 --> 00:08:50,448 We might even have another one! 207 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,192 Calvin, what is wrong with you? 208 00:08:54,217 --> 00:08:57,329 You were acting so weird during Bible study. 209 00:08:57,448 --> 00:08:58,664 Weird how? 210 00:08:59,231 --> 00:09:02,335 Well, first of all, you were at Bible study. 211 00:09:03,493 --> 00:09:05,171 All right, you want to know the truth? 212 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,506 I don't like this Pastor Don guy. 213 00:09:07,771 --> 00:09:10,238 You know, I think he got his eyes on you. 214 00:09:10,263 --> 00:09:12,289 Oh, please, Calvin. 215 00:09:12,314 --> 00:09:13,653 He's just trying to butter me up 216 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,431 because I'm on the selection committee. 217 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,018 Nah, Tina. It's more than that. 218 00:09:18,145 --> 00:09:20,185 This guy's a snake in our garden, 219 00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:23,063 and he's trying to take a bite of your apple. 220 00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:26,996 You said that about our dry cleaner, 221 00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:28,890 the guy at the gas station, 222 00:09:28,915 --> 00:09:30,530 and our dentist. 223 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,825 Well, he never told me I had a beautiful smile. 224 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,871 You know, Calvin, I don't have time for this, all right? 225 00:09:38,896 --> 00:09:41,790 And for your information, our dentist is gay. 226 00:09:42,824 --> 00:09:45,544 His husband thinks you have a beautiful smile. 227 00:09:47,225 --> 00:09:49,695 You got this, okay? You are the man, 228 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,217 and you are about to shut this chump down. 229 00:09:53,935 --> 00:09:56,190 Hello? 230 00:09:59,293 --> 00:10:00,824 Hello. 231 00:10:01,112 --> 00:10:03,146 Oh. Uh... 232 00:10:04,083 --> 00:10:05,668 H-Hi. Hi. 233 00:10:05,892 --> 00:10:07,121 I-I-I'm... 234 00:10:07,146 --> 00:10:08,414 I'm-I'm Morton. I mean Morty. 235 00:10:08,439 --> 00:10:10,742 I-I mean, I am, um, 236 00:10:10,767 --> 00:10:13,012 Marty, your downstairs neighbor. 237 00:10:13,037 --> 00:10:14,386 I'm Keira. 238 00:10:14,535 --> 00:10:15,585 Oh. 239 00:10:15,610 --> 00:10:17,551 You're the guy who left me that gift card. 240 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,254 That was so thoughtful. 241 00:10:19,279 --> 00:10:21,059 Oh, it's no big deal. You know, I would do it 242 00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:22,403 for anyone who was on top of me. 243 00:10:22,428 --> 00:10:23,551 I mean, uh, 244 00:10:23,576 --> 00:10:25,746 I mean, under-underneath you. I mean... 245 00:10:25,771 --> 00:10:27,740 Ah... welcome to the building. 246 00:10:29,433 --> 00:10:30,543 Thanks. 247 00:10:30,568 --> 00:10:31,988 Hey, uh, actually, 248 00:10:32,013 --> 00:10:33,613 if it's not too weird, would you mind 249 00:10:33,638 --> 00:10:34,879 helping me with something? 250 00:10:34,904 --> 00:10:36,039 What? Are you kidding? 251 00:10:36,064 --> 00:10:37,348 If it's weird, I'm into it. 252 00:10:37,373 --> 00:10:39,043 I mean, uh, 253 00:10:39,068 --> 00:10:42,496 uh, I would be... I'd be happy to help. 254 00:10:43,222 --> 00:10:45,707 I've been trying to move furniture by myself. 255 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,324 Sorry if I was a little loud. 256 00:10:47,349 --> 00:10:49,136 Oh, not at all. In fact, it was so quiet, 257 00:10:49,161 --> 00:10:51,278 I thought maybe a mouse had moved in. 258 00:10:51,431 --> 00:10:53,168 Are you calling me short? 259 00:10:53,299 --> 00:10:55,676 What? No! No, I didn't even notice your body. 260 00:10:55,701 --> 00:10:57,660 Well, I mean, I noticed your body. 261 00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:01,402 So, you needed some help with something? 262 00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:02,504 Yeah. 263 00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,598 Can you help me slide this couch against the wall? 264 00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:06,004 - It's too heavy to lift. - Oh... 265 00:11:06,029 --> 00:11:07,550 Maybe it's too heavy for you, but... 266 00:11:07,575 --> 00:11:08,575 Also for me. 267 00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:16,231 Oh! I'm coming, baby bro, I'm coming! 268 00:11:16,256 --> 00:11:18,220 But I'm coming strapped! 269 00:11:20,599 --> 00:11:23,637 ♪ I'm gonna lay down my burden ♪ 270 00:11:23,662 --> 00:11:25,764 ♪ Down by the riverside... ♪ 271 00:11:25,798 --> 00:11:27,090 What are you doing? 272 00:11:27,115 --> 00:11:28,941 I'm prepping for church with Calvin and Tina. 273 00:11:28,966 --> 00:11:31,053 ♪ Down by the riverside... ♪ 274 00:11:31,078 --> 00:11:32,379 Why? 275 00:11:32,759 --> 00:11:34,828 Well, because it's gonna be different 276 00:11:34,853 --> 00:11:36,481 from the church that we go to, 277 00:11:36,506 --> 00:11:37,980 and I want to be respectful. 278 00:11:38,225 --> 00:11:40,887 Which is why I watched a bunch of YouTube videos, 279 00:11:40,912 --> 00:11:43,788 Sister Act, and eight Madea movies. 280 00:11:45,391 --> 00:11:46,793 Whoa! 281 00:11:47,009 --> 00:11:50,480 Are you gonna do backflips down the aisle like that nun? 282 00:11:52,113 --> 00:11:54,257 Grover, don't be silly. 283 00:11:54,282 --> 00:11:56,863 She's 80. I'm gonna get way more air than her. 284 00:12:01,899 --> 00:12:03,200 Oh, hey, Calvin. 285 00:12:03,225 --> 00:12:05,043 Hey. Dave, is Gemma here? 286 00:12:05,068 --> 00:12:07,215 I need her to talk some sense into Tina. 287 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,800 Actually, she's at a PTA meeting. What's going on? 288 00:12:10,165 --> 00:12:13,738 I'm pretty sure that Pastor Don is making moves on Tina. 289 00:12:13,763 --> 00:12:14,879 What? 290 00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:16,418 Did something happen? 291 00:12:16,615 --> 00:12:17,840 I mean, not exactly, 292 00:12:17,865 --> 00:12:22,284 but he's made excuses to see her every night this week. 293 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:25,121 "Let's go visit the elderly." 294 00:12:26,859 --> 00:12:30,001 "Oh, come help me feed the homeless." 295 00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,787 I'm telling you, he's a bad dude. 296 00:12:34,697 --> 00:12:36,168 Okay. 297 00:12:36,193 --> 00:12:40,130 Uh, or is it possible what you're actually upset about 298 00:12:40,155 --> 00:12:42,258 is that Pastor Don is connecting with Tina 299 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:43,793 in a way that you're not? 300 00:12:43,818 --> 00:12:45,488 That's crazy. 301 00:12:45,513 --> 00:12:49,644 Is it? Look, Tina's church life is obviously important to her, 302 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,480 and maybe Pastor Don is just filling a void 303 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,275 that you choose not to. 304 00:12:55,602 --> 00:12:56,870 I don't know. 305 00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:58,513 Maybe. 306 00:12:59,197 --> 00:13:00,632 Remember, Calvin. 307 00:13:00,657 --> 00:13:03,366 "Don't judge or you will be judged." 308 00:13:04,711 --> 00:13:06,020 Wow, Dave. 309 00:13:06,045 --> 00:13:07,982 I didn't know you knew scripture so well. 310 00:13:08,199 --> 00:13:11,332 Actually, I-I got that from Whoopi Goldberg. 311 00:13:14,362 --> 00:13:15,856 I'm so sorry. 312 00:13:15,881 --> 00:13:17,832 Is your foot okay? Oh, it's fine. 313 00:13:17,857 --> 00:13:19,559 Pinky toes are totally cosmetic. 314 00:13:22,117 --> 00:13:24,679 Get your damn hands off my brother, you... 315 00:13:26,817 --> 00:13:29,246 surprisingly tiny lady. 316 00:13:29,793 --> 00:13:31,348 Uh, Keira, this is 317 00:13:31,373 --> 00:13:34,019 my brother, Malcolm. Malcolm, this is Keira. 318 00:13:34,044 --> 00:13:35,636 Hey. Oh, 319 00:13:35,661 --> 00:13:36,715 so you're the one who's... 320 00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:39,529 Drives the really cool truck I've been telling you about. 321 00:13:41,032 --> 00:13:42,465 - Nice to meet you. - Yeah. 322 00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:43,840 What's with the rocket? 323 00:13:43,912 --> 00:13:45,992 Oh. Um, it's a, uh... 324 00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:48,887 a housewarming gift. 325 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,395 Right, Marty? 326 00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:51,621 Uh, yep. 327 00:13:51,646 --> 00:13:55,019 Yep. Uh, signed by Buzz Aldrin and everything. 328 00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:57,420 Well, thank you. 329 00:13:58,086 --> 00:14:01,056 Hey, you guys are my first houseguests. 330 00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:03,582 - Let me get some beers to celebrate. - Okay. 331 00:14:06,184 --> 00:14:07,816 She is cute. 332 00:14:07,841 --> 00:14:08,979 Yeah, I know. 333 00:14:09,004 --> 00:14:10,535 Thank you for making me come up here. 334 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,738 Yeah, you see what happens when you stand up for yourself? 335 00:14:12,771 --> 00:14:15,809 Yeah, man. In fact, I'm gonna do it now. 336 00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:17,524 Get the hell out of here. 337 00:14:20,357 --> 00:14:25,199 ♪ I need thee ♪ 338 00:14:26,774 --> 00:14:32,546 ♪ Every hour... ♪ 339 00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:35,246 All right, buddy. Now, remember, we're guests here, 340 00:14:35,271 --> 00:14:39,714 so let's be respectful and just try to blend in. 341 00:14:46,411 --> 00:14:48,627 Oh, my God. Look at all these hats. 342 00:14:48,652 --> 00:14:51,017 I knew I shouldn't have gotten the small one. 343 00:14:52,863 --> 00:14:54,728 Okay, I'm warning you, Calvin. 344 00:14:54,753 --> 00:14:57,072 You better not embarrass me in front of Pastor Don. 345 00:14:58,122 --> 00:15:00,567 Don't worry, I won't. 346 00:15:01,412 --> 00:15:03,529 I think maybe I was... 347 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,089 wrong about him. 348 00:15:05,351 --> 00:15:08,491 Wait, did you just admit to being wrong? 349 00:15:08,935 --> 00:15:11,283 Okay, God, a deal's a deal. I'm-a stop cursing. 350 00:15:13,589 --> 00:15:14,955 Hey, uh, 351 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,615 I'm-a catch up with you in a second. 352 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,502 - Okay, baby. - Brother Calvin, good to see you. 353 00:15:19,798 --> 00:15:22,088 Are the Rams not playing today? 354 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:26,213 Well, I decided that this was more important. 355 00:15:26,472 --> 00:15:28,119 Plus, it's a night game. 356 00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:30,166 Listen, 357 00:15:30,191 --> 00:15:32,432 I... I just wanted to apologize 358 00:15:32,457 --> 00:15:34,426 about my behavior at Bible study. 359 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:38,447 The truth is is that I had this crazy idea 360 00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:41,260 that you was making moves on my wife. 361 00:15:41,285 --> 00:15:42,520 You did? 362 00:15:42,678 --> 00:15:44,822 Yeah, you know how us guys can be. 363 00:15:44,847 --> 00:15:47,393 Yeah. Well, you have nothing to apologize for. 364 00:15:47,418 --> 00:15:49,020 I completely understand. 365 00:15:49,061 --> 00:15:50,189 Thanks, Pastor. 366 00:15:50,214 --> 00:15:53,328 After all, Sister Tina's a very attractive woman. 367 00:15:57,215 --> 00:15:58,667 Excuse me? 368 00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:00,251 As scripture says, 369 00:16:00,317 --> 00:16:03,464 "He who finds a good wife finds a good thing." 370 00:16:03,489 --> 00:16:05,841 Obviously, Tina's a good wife, 371 00:16:06,325 --> 00:16:09,552 but I'm more interested in the bad ones. 372 00:16:16,359 --> 00:16:18,632 You heard that, right? 373 00:16:24,454 --> 00:16:27,453 ♪ Bless ♪ 374 00:16:27,478 --> 00:16:29,225 ♪ Me now ♪ 375 00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:34,897 ♪ My savior... ♪ 376 00:16:37,649 --> 00:16:39,052 Calvin. 377 00:16:39,725 --> 00:16:41,382 What is wrong with you? 378 00:16:41,407 --> 00:16:42,577 I'm talking to God. 379 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,904 I got a complaint about one 380 00:16:43,929 --> 00:16:46,257 of his employees. 381 00:16:46,969 --> 00:16:49,677 ♪ To ♪ 382 00:16:49,702 --> 00:16:54,702 ♪ Thee. ♪ 383 00:16:55,032 --> 00:16:56,462 Good morning, church. 384 00:16:56,487 --> 00:16:58,790 - Morning. - Is it? 385 00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:03,866 Today's message comes from the Book of Revelations. 386 00:17:03,891 --> 00:17:05,601 You got that right. 387 00:17:06,455 --> 00:17:10,906 Now, everyone in here knows that God sees everything. 388 00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:13,492 - Mm-hmm. Amen. - I see your ass. 389 00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:19,873 Which is why we must stay vigilant against temptation. 390 00:17:19,898 --> 00:17:21,100 That's right. 391 00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:24,812 Walk the righteous path and cast out 392 00:17:24,837 --> 00:17:26,375 those who lead us astray. 393 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,945 No way. I heard enough. 394 00:17:27,970 --> 00:17:29,884 I need to testify. 395 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:32,762 Let Him use you, Calvin! 396 00:17:36,912 --> 00:17:39,483 Brother Calvin, I appreciate your enthusiasm, 397 00:17:39,508 --> 00:17:42,265 but we normally don't testify until the end of the service. 398 00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:44,577 Yeah, well, today is different, 399 00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:47,852 'cause there is a devil among us. 400 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:51,173 Thank you, Brother Calvin. 401 00:17:51,198 --> 00:17:53,483 We'll look into that. Now, if you open your Bibles to... 402 00:17:53,508 --> 00:17:56,242 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not done. 403 00:17:56,865 --> 00:17:59,968 We are in the presence of a false prophet. 404 00:18:00,577 --> 00:18:03,417 A wolf in sheep's clothing. 405 00:18:03,771 --> 00:18:07,588 A man who covets other men's wives. 406 00:18:07,613 --> 00:18:09,671 And I know that commandment is important 407 00:18:09,696 --> 00:18:11,801 'cause it made the top ten list. 408 00:18:14,032 --> 00:18:16,389 And that man's name... 409 00:18:20,509 --> 00:18:22,044 is Pastor Don. 410 00:18:23,414 --> 00:18:26,101 Let your light shine, Calvin! 411 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,693 Did you watch Sister Act again? 412 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,825 If loving Whoopi is wrong, I don't want to be right. 413 00:18:35,843 --> 00:18:37,334 Forgive Brother Calvin. 414 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,171 He knows not what he says. 415 00:18:39,421 --> 00:18:41,132 I'm a man of deep faith 416 00:18:41,157 --> 00:18:44,230 who respects the sanctity of marriage. I would never... 417 00:18:44,255 --> 00:18:45,570 Hold up! 418 00:18:45,595 --> 00:18:47,843 You got other women on the side? 419 00:18:49,674 --> 00:18:53,187 You told me I was the only woman you were checking for. 420 00:18:54,316 --> 00:18:57,136 Oh, so you just laying hands on everybody? 421 00:18:57,983 --> 00:18:59,805 Uh... 422 00:19:00,398 --> 00:19:02,562 Unless you ready to meet the Lord, 423 00:19:02,587 --> 00:19:04,585 I suggest you get out of here right now. 424 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:06,492 Because, uh, this ain't the first fight 425 00:19:06,517 --> 00:19:08,335 Wanda's had at church. 426 00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:11,194 I-I'm-a... I'm-a... 427 00:19:11,219 --> 00:19:12,952 Oh-ho. 428 00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:14,738 Uh-oh! 429 00:19:15,026 --> 00:19:17,394 Only God can save him now. 430 00:19:17,419 --> 00:19:19,155 Amen. 431 00:19:23,804 --> 00:19:25,406 ♪ Victory is mine ♪ 432 00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:28,341 ♪ Victory is mine ♪ 433 00:19:28,366 --> 00:19:32,427 ♪ Victory today is mine ♪ 434 00:19:32,452 --> 00:19:34,271 ♪ I told Satan... ♪ 435 00:19:34,296 --> 00:19:36,257 - This church is awesome. - I know. 436 00:19:36,282 --> 00:19:38,388 As soon as we get home, I'm going hat shopping. 437 00:19:38,517 --> 00:19:40,031 And this time, 438 00:19:40,056 --> 00:19:42,349 I'm going big. 439 00:19:43,336 --> 00:19:45,866 Speaking of going big, give me some room. 440 00:19:45,891 --> 00:19:47,605 It's backflipping time. 441 00:19:47,630 --> 00:19:49,773 Uh... Oh. 442 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,014 Babe, you doing okay? 443 00:19:52,187 --> 00:19:53,622 Are you kidding? 444 00:19:53,647 --> 00:19:54,952 Look at all of these good people 445 00:19:54,977 --> 00:19:56,708 rejoicing in the Lord, Calvin. 446 00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:58,484 That is church. 447 00:19:58,509 --> 00:20:01,117 Amen to that. 448 00:20:01,142 --> 00:20:03,358 Hey, you got to admit, though. 449 00:20:03,383 --> 00:20:06,226 I was the only one that knew that Pastor Don was a snake. 450 00:20:06,251 --> 00:20:08,420 Baby, you sure were. 451 00:20:08,445 --> 00:20:10,656 Which is why you're the newest member 452 00:20:10,681 --> 00:20:12,132 of our pastor selection committee. 453 00:20:12,157 --> 00:20:13,732 - Yeah. - Huh? 454 00:20:13,757 --> 00:20:17,050 We meet on, uh, Sundays, Mondays and Thursdays. 455 00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,155 Those are all my football days. 456 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,913 Take it up with God. 457 00:20:23,157 --> 00:20:24,993 ♪ Victory ♪ 458 00:20:25,018 --> 00:20:26,601 ♪ Today is mine ♪ 459 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:31,773 Oh! Oh! 460 00:20:34,053 --> 00:20:37,446 It's okay. I'm all... I'm all right. 461 00:20:37,629 --> 00:20:39,233 The drums broke my fall. 462 00:20:41,238 --> 00:20:42,907 ♪ Victory is mine ♪ 463 00:20:42,932 --> 00:20:45,796 - ♪ Victory is mine ♪ - ♪ Victory ♪ 464 00:20:45,821 --> 00:20:48,343 ♪ Victory today is mine. ♪ 465 00:20:48,483 --> 00:20:53,093 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 32584

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