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1
00:00:01,484 --> 00:00:03,224
Previously, on
"Young Sheldon"...
2
00:00:03,282 --> 00:00:04,796
- Who are you?
- I'm Paige.
3
00:00:04,884 --> 00:00:07,600
A unique child can require
a lot of attention.
4
00:00:07,688 --> 00:00:08,889
Try all the attention.
5
00:00:08,977 --> 00:00:11,335
Barry and I haven't been
in a good place in a long time.
6
00:00:11,423 --> 00:00:14,280
This is oddly reminiscent
of a dinner with my family.
7
00:00:14,368 --> 00:00:17,220
Do you think Stone Age parents
stayed together forever?
8
00:00:17,368 --> 00:00:19,405
They had to.
There were no lawyers.
9
00:00:19,493 --> 00:00:21,234
Well, I think my parents
are getting a divorce.
10
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:23,259
- Why?
- They fight all the time.
11
00:00:23,446 --> 00:00:25,475
- About what?
- Mostly me.
12
00:00:25,649 --> 00:00:27,048
I guess I'm lucky.
13
00:00:27,376 --> 00:00:28,422
Why?
14
00:00:28,648 --> 00:00:31,390
I'm the glue that holds
our family together.
15
00:00:35,695 --> 00:00:37,000
No more coffee?
16
00:00:37,088 --> 00:00:38,138
Last cup.
17
00:00:38,226 --> 00:00:39,742
Well, you mind making more?
18
00:00:39,968 --> 00:00:41,114
I just sat down.
19
00:00:41,484 --> 00:00:43,052
But you finished the pot.
20
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,250
George, if I wanted
to make a cup of coffee,
21
00:00:45,338 --> 00:00:46,979
I'd have stayed
at my house.
22
00:00:48,062 --> 00:00:49,361
Mmm.
23
00:00:49,539 --> 00:00:51,172
One day I'm gonna put you
in a home,
24
00:00:51,297 --> 00:00:52,904
and I'm gonna smile
just like that.
25
00:00:52,992 --> 00:00:54,013
That's fine.
26
00:00:54,101 --> 00:00:56,273
By then I won't know
who you are anyway.
27
00:00:57,805 --> 00:00:59,875
Guess who is getting
a divorce.
28
00:01:00,047 --> 00:01:02,219
About time.
Congrats.
29
00:01:02,351 --> 00:01:04,568
Linda and Barry Swanson.
30
00:01:04,656 --> 00:01:07,047
Who's that? A-And can you
tell me how to make coffee?
31
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,101
They're Paige's parents.
32
00:01:09,189 --> 00:01:10,076
Who?
33
00:01:10,164 --> 00:01:11,664
The little smart girl.
34
00:01:12,015 --> 00:01:15,185
Apparently she's taking
the divorce really hard.
35
00:01:15,273 --> 00:01:17,201
I guess she's been having
trouble in school.
36
00:01:17,289 --> 00:01:18,802
Aw, poor thing.
37
00:01:18,898 --> 00:01:21,357
Linda thinks Sheldon
might be a good influence,
38
00:01:21,445 --> 00:01:23,765
you know, maybe rub off
on her a little bit.
39
00:01:23,922 --> 00:01:26,094
What, she wants her kid
to be more like Sheldon?
40
00:01:27,242 --> 00:01:29,344
I don't know
what to say about that.
41
00:01:30,109 --> 00:01:31,951
So, good news.
42
00:01:32,054 --> 00:01:34,687
Paige is gonna
spend the weekend with us.
43
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,498
My history with Paige
44
00:01:36,586 --> 00:01:38,638
brought up
complicated feelings.
45
00:01:38,726 --> 00:01:39,888
She challenged me.
46
00:01:39,976 --> 00:01:41,364
Do you know if you'll be doing
a full-color
47
00:01:41,451 --> 00:01:44,357
octet calculation
with matrix manipulations?
48
00:01:44,601 --> 00:01:46,074
I know you're in my spot.
49
00:01:46,162 --> 00:01:47,427
She disturbed me.
50
00:01:47,515 --> 00:01:48,887
Hi, Sheldon!
51
00:01:49,084 --> 00:01:50,889
She enraged me.
52
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:52,302
Checkmate.
53
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:54,637
Things were simpler
54
00:01:54,724 --> 00:01:56,285
for my simple-minded sister.
55
00:01:56,373 --> 00:01:57,544
Yay!
56
00:01:59,043 --> 00:02:02,027
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
57
00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:04,935
♪ Yesterday I moved
a mountain ♪
58
00:02:05,070 --> 00:02:07,464
♪ I bet I could be
your hero ♪
59
00:02:07,552 --> 00:02:10,597
♪ I am a mighty
little man ♪
60
00:02:10,685 --> 00:02:14,201
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
♪YOUNG SHELDON♪
61
00:02:14,406 --> 00:02:17,054
*YOUNG SHELDON*
Season 03 Episode 12
62
00:02:17,248 --> 00:02:20,062
Episode Title:
" Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit"
63
00:02:20,672 --> 00:02:23,615
Shelly, I got you something.
64
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:26,365
The Professor
Proton Science Kit!
65
00:02:26,466 --> 00:02:27,887
Wait a minute.
66
00:02:28,388 --> 00:02:30,230
Last time you gave me a present
for no reason,
67
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,810
I had to get a booster shot.
68
00:02:31,911 --> 00:02:33,308
Nothing like that.
69
00:02:33,396 --> 00:02:36,191
I was just thinking,
it might be a fun thing for you
70
00:02:36,279 --> 00:02:37,464
to share with Paige.
71
00:02:37,552 --> 00:02:38,615
Sharing.
72
00:02:38,997 --> 00:02:40,810
Sometimes I feel like
you don't know me.
73
00:02:41,348 --> 00:02:43,777
Paige is having a rough time
at home right now,
74
00:02:43,865 --> 00:02:46,011
and I think she could really
use a friend.
75
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:47,855
A crocodile could really
use a meal,
76
00:02:47,943 --> 00:02:50,044
but that doesn't mean
I should leap into his mouth.
77
00:02:50,505 --> 00:02:53,990
Shelly, I am asking you
to do this for me.
78
00:02:54,349 --> 00:02:55,784
This was the woman
79
00:02:55,872 --> 00:02:58,167
who cut the crusts off
my sandwiches.
80
00:02:58,255 --> 00:02:59,323
She had me.
81
00:02:59,411 --> 00:03:01,130
Into the mouth I go.
82
00:03:02,598 --> 00:03:04,763
♪ Unskinny bop ♪
83
00:03:04,904 --> 00:03:07,966
♪ Just blows me away, yeah... ♪
84
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,745
Why haven't you mowed
the lawn?
85
00:03:09,833 --> 00:03:11,144
I been busy.
86
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,191
Well, you're not busy now.
87
00:03:13,279 --> 00:03:14,433
I'm working out.
88
00:03:14,521 --> 00:03:16,831
Got the word "work"
right there in it.
89
00:03:18,802 --> 00:03:20,708
Get out there and mow.
90
00:03:21,263 --> 00:03:22,839
Why? I'm making good money.
91
00:03:22,927 --> 00:03:24,903
I don't need an allowance,
so I don't need to do chores.
92
00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:26,232
It's not about that.
93
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,473
You're part of this family,
you still need to help out.
94
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,441
So I'm just here
to do your bidding?
95
00:03:30,529 --> 00:03:32,951
Well, and people say
Sheldon's a genius.
96
00:03:38,107 --> 00:03:40,667
I just want to remind you both
to please be sensitive
97
00:03:40,755 --> 00:03:43,241
about the situation
with Paige's family.
98
00:03:43,646 --> 00:03:45,003
She's talking to you,
dingus.
99
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:46,201
Both of you.
100
00:03:47,289 --> 00:03:49,300
- Hi, come in.
- Hello.
101
00:03:49,388 --> 00:03:50,933
- Hi, Missy.
- Hi, Sheldon.
102
00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:53,146
What did you do to your hair?
Is this because
103
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:54,645
your parents got divorced?
104
00:03:54,848 --> 00:03:55,933
Dingus.
105
00:03:56,021 --> 00:03:57,379
Well,
she just really wanted to,
106
00:03:57,466 --> 00:03:59,464
and I thought, you know,
under the circumstances,
107
00:03:59,552 --> 00:04:00,349
why not?
108
00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:01,941
Well, I think it looks great.
109
00:04:02,029 --> 00:04:03,089
So, can I have pink...?
110
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:04,888
No. Why don't you kids
go play?
111
00:04:05,032 --> 00:04:07,475
I'd rather have pink hair
than together parents.
112
00:04:07,563 --> 00:04:08,943
I don't blame you.
113
00:04:12,916 --> 00:04:14,896
Well, it's about time.
114
00:04:18,107 --> 00:04:20,357
Hi, Mr. Cooper!
115
00:04:20,482 --> 00:04:22,927
Billy.
What are you doing?
116
00:04:23,585 --> 00:04:24,760
I'm mowing the lawn.
117
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:25,972
What are you
doing?
118
00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:27,503
Did Georgie put
you up to this?
119
00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:28,995
Yeah.
He's paying me.
120
00:04:29,083 --> 00:04:30,411
That dummy.
121
00:04:30,499 --> 00:04:32,755
I'm raising the money
to buy a Jet Ski.
122
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,050
I mean, I'm thrilled
that he's gone,
123
00:04:37,138 --> 00:04:38,997
but I do worry about
how it's affecting Paige.
124
00:04:39,085 --> 00:04:40,122
Of course.
125
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:42,636
You and George have
such a beautiful family.
126
00:04:42,724 --> 00:04:45,552
I think it's good for her
to be around that right now.
127
00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:49,310
Oh. Hey.
128
00:04:49,411 --> 00:04:51,691
Nice to see you.
Sorry about the divorce.
129
00:04:51,779 --> 00:04:53,599
I got to go yell
at my idiot son.
130
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,036
Georgie!
Where are you?
131
00:04:57,893 --> 00:04:59,659
You look great,
by the way.
132
00:04:59,726 --> 00:05:01,976
Oh, thanks.
I started smoking again.
133
00:05:05,911 --> 00:05:07,277
What the hell's
wrong with you?
134
00:05:07,365 --> 00:05:08,948
You think it's okay
for Billy Sparks
135
00:05:09,036 --> 00:05:10,896
- to do yourwork?
- I paid him.
136
00:05:10,984 --> 00:05:13,544
I tried to give him two dollars,
but he only wanted one.
137
00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:16,505
Damn it, Georgie, I'm trying
to teach you responsibility.
138
00:05:16,708 --> 00:05:18,787
You can't just buy your way
out of everything in life.
139
00:05:18,874 --> 00:05:19,910
You sure?
140
00:05:19,911 --> 00:05:21,905
'Cause I'll give you ten bucks
to leave me alone right now.
141
00:05:21,992 --> 00:05:23,784
Go mow the lawn.
142
00:05:23,872 --> 00:05:25,427
I'm not gonna
say it again.
143
00:05:25,943 --> 00:05:28,940
Fine. But I'm only doing this
so you'll get off my back.
144
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:31,661
Oh, you'll know when I'm
on your back, little man.
145
00:05:32,982 --> 00:05:34,544
Now we can be hair twins.
146
00:05:34,831 --> 00:05:37,136
Paige, you're supposed to be
doing science with me.
147
00:05:37,224 --> 00:05:38,530
That's boring.
148
00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:40,750
I want to do
something dangerous.
149
00:05:40,935 --> 00:05:43,495
This is dangerous.
We don't have an eye wash station.
150
00:05:43,583 --> 00:05:46,120
- Let's go to the mall.
- Mom doesn't like the mall.
151
00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,777
She says the mannequins
don't have enough clothes on,
152
00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:50,318
but I think
it's 'cause we're poor.
153
00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:52,490
We are poor.
I do our taxes.
154
00:05:52,818 --> 00:05:54,784
Don't worry.
I'll ask her.
155
00:05:54,872 --> 00:05:56,464
Ever since my
parents got divorced,
156
00:05:56,552 --> 00:05:57,767
people can't
say no to me.
157
00:05:57,854 --> 00:06:00,185
My mom promised she would
take me to the mall to get me
158
00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:02,191
a new backpack,
but she was so busy
159
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,902
cleaning my dad's stuff
out of the garage
160
00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:05,644
- that I think she forgot.
- Oh.
161
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:09,333
Of course I can take you.
Anything you need.
162
00:06:09,778 --> 00:06:11,443
Thank you,
Mrs. Cooper.
163
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,021
Will you marry me?
164
00:06:20,794 --> 00:06:22,535
Why are you taking
a backpack to the mall?
165
00:06:22,623 --> 00:06:24,630
This is my mall
safety kit.
166
00:06:26,242 --> 00:06:28,027
Earplugs to drown out
crowd noise,
167
00:06:28,169 --> 00:06:30,503
Wet-Naps to wipe down
escalator handrails,
168
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,997
a compass,
a map of the mall,
169
00:06:32,085 --> 00:06:33,881
and a whistle,
in case I get lost
170
00:06:33,969 --> 00:06:36,363
or approached by a woman
holding a perfume bottle.
171
00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:38,365
You want to stuff him
in there, right?
172
00:06:38,452 --> 00:06:39,757
No.
173
00:06:43,161 --> 00:06:44,425
Okay, Paige,
174
00:06:44,513 --> 00:06:46,388
where should we go
to get your backpack?
175
00:06:46,476 --> 00:06:48,434
- The Hello Kitty store.
- I would help you find it,
176
00:06:48,521 --> 00:06:49,917
but this subpar mall map
177
00:06:50,005 --> 00:06:51,458
isn't even
oriented north.
178
00:06:51,546 --> 00:06:54,935
Let's go. All right, have fun
at the Hello Kitty store,
179
00:06:55,033 --> 00:06:57,503
and meet me at the
fountain in half an hour.
180
00:06:57,591 --> 00:07:00,604
Just to be clear, there are
no actual kitties, right?
181
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,780
I can't imagine
talking to my dad
182
00:07:03,868 --> 00:07:05,261
the way this kid
talks to me.
183
00:07:05,513 --> 00:07:08,351
I'd have had a belt
on my backside so fast...
184
00:07:08,677 --> 00:07:10,527
My dad was a hugger.
185
00:07:11,107 --> 00:07:13,105
I had to tell him three times
to mow the lawn,
186
00:07:13,193 --> 00:07:14,575
and he still gave me attitude.
187
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,447
He's going to school,
holding down a job.
188
00:07:17,575 --> 00:07:19,880
If he was my kid,
I'd be proud of him.
189
00:07:22,373 --> 00:07:24,029
I am proud of him.
190
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,987
When he's not being
a total pain in my ass.
191
00:07:28,371 --> 00:07:29,994
You ever tell him
you're proud?
192
00:07:31,221 --> 00:07:32,424
He knows.
193
00:07:32,955 --> 00:07:34,940
I think it's important
for children to hear it.
194
00:07:35,028 --> 00:07:36,705
You don't even have kids.
195
00:07:37,511 --> 00:07:39,571
I teach and coach
teenage boys.
196
00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:42,341
I also put up with
your childish nonsense.
197
00:07:44,510 --> 00:07:46,557
Georgie's just being
so damn disrespectful,
198
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,156
I don't want to reward that.
199
00:07:48,244 --> 00:07:49,305
All right.
200
00:07:49,392 --> 00:07:51,182
My father never said
he was proud of me.
201
00:07:51,525 --> 00:07:52,917
I turned out just fine.
202
00:07:54,385 --> 00:07:57,574
George, I'm just trying
to have a nice day,
203
00:07:57,661 --> 00:07:59,455
make some white folks
uncomfortable.
204
00:07:59,557 --> 00:08:01,186
Can you please?
205
00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:06,362
♪ Bela Lugosi's dead... ♪
206
00:08:06,495 --> 00:08:08,784
This isn't
the Hello Kitty store.
207
00:08:09,002 --> 00:08:11,026
No. It's Hot Topic.
208
00:08:11,121 --> 00:08:13,341
- What's the topic, devil worship?
- Hey,
209
00:08:13,429 --> 00:08:15,975
did you know there's
a bow tie section in the back?
210
00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:19,108
Why would they hide
that in the back?
211
00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:23,858
Ooh. What's that?
212
00:08:24,209 --> 00:08:25,428
Body glitter.
213
00:08:25,545 --> 00:08:27,822
That's so much better
than regular glitter.
214
00:08:27,909 --> 00:08:29,004
Then buy it.
215
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,349
I don't have
any money.
216
00:08:30,592 --> 00:08:31,912
Then steal it.
217
00:08:32,334 --> 00:08:34,219
No, my mom
would kill me.
218
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:39,334
Fine. Your mom
can't punish me.
219
00:08:39,422 --> 00:08:40,704
I didn't
see any bow ties,
220
00:08:40,791 --> 00:08:42,263
just a shirt with
a bad word on it.
221
00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:43,818
What did you put
in your pocket?
222
00:08:43,906 --> 00:08:44,967
Nothing.
223
00:08:45,055 --> 00:08:47,162
Are you guys stealing?
Because if you are,
224
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,459
I am prepared to literally
blow the whistle on you...
225
00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:51,052
Okay.
226
00:08:51,693 --> 00:08:52,768
Okay.
227
00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:54,842
Relax, we were just
playing around.
228
00:08:54,953 --> 00:08:57,285
- Let's just get out of here.
- Good.
229
00:08:57,373 --> 00:08:58,730
Everyone behind the counter
230
00:08:58,818 --> 00:08:59,965
has an earring
where an earring
231
00:09:00,052 --> 00:09:01,186
does not belong.
232
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,334
Hey, Vern,
looks like you're turning
233
00:09:03,422 --> 00:09:05,501
into quite the little shopper.
234
00:09:05,589 --> 00:09:06,649
Hey.
235
00:09:06,737 --> 00:09:08,086
I've already mowed the lawn.
236
00:09:08,259 --> 00:09:10,217
I know.
Thanks for doing that.
237
00:09:11,613 --> 00:09:12,954
So what do you want?
238
00:09:13,324 --> 00:09:15,449
Well, I was thinking you and I
could go grab a burger.
239
00:09:15,537 --> 00:09:16,753
Why?
240
00:09:17,191 --> 00:09:19,417
'Cause I thought
it'd be a nice thing to do.
241
00:09:19,699 --> 00:09:21,092
Which restaurant?
242
00:09:21,252 --> 00:09:22,574
Why does it matter?
243
00:09:22,699 --> 00:09:24,043
Well, McDonald's burgers
are fried,
244
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,699
and sometimes
I like flame-broiled.
245
00:09:26,410 --> 00:09:28,535
Fine, we can go to Burger King.
246
00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:30,582
I don't like the fries
at Burger King.
247
00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:31,962
Ooh, Arby's has
248
00:09:32,050 --> 00:09:33,019
those curly fries.
249
00:09:33,107 --> 00:09:34,847
Shoot, they don't have burgers.
250
00:09:35,496 --> 00:09:37,605
Then let's go to Whataburger.
251
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,636
Okay, but I hope you're not
this cranky the whole meal.
252
00:09:47,933 --> 00:09:49,316
So,
253
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,473
we haven't really had
a chance to talk much lately.
254
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,285
Why is it so hot in here?
255
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,785
AC's busted.
256
00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:56,407
Why don't you get it fixed?
257
00:09:56,564 --> 00:09:58,855
'Cause I got better things
to spend my money on.
258
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,433
Anyway,
259
00:10:01,698 --> 00:10:02,912
what I wanted to say
260
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:07,277
is, even though I'm not loving
your attitude lately,
261
00:10:07,385 --> 00:10:09,462
I think it's great
you got this job
262
00:10:09,613 --> 00:10:11,581
and y-you're doing
so well at it.
263
00:10:13,628 --> 00:10:15,016
I'm proud of you.
264
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:16,870
All right.
265
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:18,743
That's all you have to say?
266
00:10:18,846 --> 00:10:21,370
Well, maybe if I wasn't
sweating my balls off,
267
00:10:21,457 --> 00:10:22,807
I could think of
something else.
268
00:10:22,895 --> 00:10:24,505
Just stick your head
out the window.
269
00:10:25,554 --> 00:10:27,589
If it's about money,
I've got money.
270
00:10:28,984 --> 00:10:31,595
It can even be a loan
if it makes you feel better.
271
00:10:33,254 --> 00:10:34,925
Don't you dare.
272
00:10:39,049 --> 00:10:41,276
You said you're proud of my job.
I don't think you are.
273
00:10:41,364 --> 00:10:42,917
You know what?
Forget lunch.
274
00:10:43,005 --> 00:10:44,135
Let's just go home.
275
00:10:44,223 --> 00:10:46,596
Smart. Save some money
for your truck.
276
00:10:47,917 --> 00:10:49,143
That's it.
277
00:10:49,266 --> 00:10:50,971
You're walking.
278
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:03,440
I had survived a
perilous trip to the accessory store,
279
00:11:03,557 --> 00:11:07,768
but it turned out,
the real accessory was me.
280
00:11:11,448 --> 00:11:13,245
I can't believe you stole.
281
00:11:13,362 --> 00:11:15,297
You walked out with it.
You stole.
282
00:11:15,385 --> 00:11:16,868
Why would I steal glitter?
283
00:11:16,956 --> 00:11:18,876
I already have
a sparkling personality.
284
00:11:18,964 --> 00:11:20,079
Tell it to the cops.
285
00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:21,917
Or your cellmate.
286
00:11:22,628 --> 00:11:25,182
You're so smart.
Why are you acting like this?
287
00:11:25,315 --> 00:11:27,151
Maybe I don't want to be smart.
288
00:11:27,346 --> 00:11:28,643
I have to sit down.
289
00:11:29,768 --> 00:11:31,581
Being smart sucks.
290
00:11:31,940 --> 00:11:33,735
It's the reason
we moved here from Arkansas,
291
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,992
a-and my parents never yelled
at each other before that.
292
00:11:37,971 --> 00:11:41,315
It's just...
better to be normal.
293
00:11:41,479 --> 00:11:44,706
It works for me. But I
also have good cheekbones.
294
00:11:51,902 --> 00:11:53,471
You swim here?
295
00:11:53,948 --> 00:11:56,729
Dad kicked me out of his truck.
I had to walk back.
296
00:11:57,042 --> 00:11:59,219
What dumb thing
did you say or do?
297
00:11:59,307 --> 00:12:01,745
How do you know I'm the one
who did something dumb?
298
00:12:02,102 --> 00:12:03,907
'Cause you kind of shine at it.
299
00:12:03,995 --> 00:12:06,878
All I did is offer
to pay to fix his AC.
300
00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:08,899
And there it is. Dumb.
301
00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:10,089
What's wrong with that?
302
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:11,524
Your dad is a grown man.
303
00:12:11,612 --> 00:12:14,081
He doesn't want his kid
giving him money.
304
00:12:14,314 --> 00:12:16,186
So he's glad
I'm making money,
305
00:12:16,274 --> 00:12:18,542
but I'm not allowed to use
that money to help him out?
306
00:12:18,644 --> 00:12:20,901
I don't get it. Well, someday,
when you have
307
00:12:20,989 --> 00:12:24,089
a bunch of sweaty, mullet-headed
kids running around, you will.
308
00:12:24,254 --> 00:12:26,675
Oh, I ain't never having kids.
309
00:12:27,237 --> 00:12:29,745
Well, that's the smartest thing
I ever heard you say.
310
00:12:30,197 --> 00:12:31,503
Thank you.
311
00:12:39,990 --> 00:12:42,079
John Sturgis at your service.
312
00:12:42,198 --> 00:12:44,940
- Dr. Sturgis, Sheldon Cooper.
- Hello, Sheldon.
313
00:12:45,028 --> 00:12:46,089
How are you doing?
314
00:12:46,177 --> 00:12:48,802
Confused, upset, annoyed,
315
00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:50,872
and potentially
in trouble with the law.
316
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,239
Well, in which order would
you like to handle this?
317
00:12:54,327 --> 00:12:55,591
Let's start with confused,
318
00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:57,817
but if we hear sirens
approaching, we'll jump ahead.
319
00:12:57,982 --> 00:13:00,115
Great. What's on your mind?
320
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,333
Do you ever wish
that you weren't smart?
321
00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:05,637
So I would be short,
lonely and stupid?
322
00:13:05,725 --> 00:13:07,465
No, that seems worse.
323
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:08,816
Why do you ask?
324
00:13:09,076 --> 00:13:10,559
Do you remember Paige?
325
00:13:10,647 --> 00:13:12,562
Of course,
brilliant little girl.
326
00:13:12,671 --> 00:13:14,325
I know, but she says
that she doesn't
327
00:13:14,413 --> 00:13:15,880
want to be smart anymore.
328
00:13:15,968 --> 00:13:20,106
Well, perhaps she's experiencing
some sort of identity crisis.
329
00:13:20,194 --> 00:13:23,161
Is it possible her ex
is dating someone
330
00:13:23,249 --> 00:13:26,872
who seems better for her
in every imaginable way?
331
00:13:27,566 --> 00:13:28,809
I'm confused.
332
00:13:28,897 --> 00:13:30,130
So am I.
333
00:13:30,381 --> 00:13:33,794
How do I make her understand
that being smart is the best?
334
00:13:34,668 --> 00:13:36,394
Might I suggest,
335
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,106
instead of trying
to fix her problem,
336
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,075
you just listen?
337
00:13:41,163 --> 00:13:44,320
When I was in the psychiatric ward,
I learned that people
338
00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:48,880
who are struggling emotionally
often just need to be heard.
339
00:13:49,817 --> 00:13:51,161
Hmm.
340
00:13:51,249 --> 00:13:53,598
Sounds difficult,
but I suppose I could try.
341
00:13:53,803 --> 00:13:55,981
Another thing I learned
in the hospital is that
342
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,762
some people believe
there are weird mole men
343
00:13:58,849 --> 00:14:01,778
living in tunnels
deep inside the earth.
344
00:14:02,404 --> 00:14:04,559
Well, this has been
mostly helpful.
345
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,637
And you're mostly
welcome.
346
00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:13,961
You made it.
347
00:14:14,049 --> 00:14:15,466
Yeah, I made it.
348
00:14:22,997 --> 00:14:24,356
Sorry.
349
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,372
No problem.
350
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:35,411
Ow.
351
00:14:36,192 --> 00:14:39,552
Ow. Is there a way to do this
so it doesn't hurt?
352
00:14:39,735 --> 00:14:41,650
No. Beauty is pain.
353
00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:44,262
Boy George must really suffer.
354
00:14:44,738 --> 00:14:46,592
Missy, I need a moment
with Paige.
355
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:47,745
Make it quick.
356
00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:49,473
I'm only half-beautiful.
357
00:14:53,916 --> 00:14:55,137
Yeah?
358
00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:56,421
I'm listening.
359
00:14:56,509 --> 00:14:57,525
To what?
360
00:14:57,613 --> 00:14:58,745
To you.
361
00:14:58,833 --> 00:14:59,919
I'm not saying anything.
362
00:15:00,007 --> 00:15:02,270
Well, if you wanted to say
anything, I'd be listening.
363
00:15:03,231 --> 00:15:04,549
But I don't want
to say anything.
364
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,720
And I don't want to be listening,
but here we are.
365
00:15:07,056 --> 00:15:08,465
Are you feeling better yet?
366
00:15:09,137 --> 00:15:12,524
You're being weird,
and not in the usual way.
367
00:15:15,257 --> 00:15:16,899
Guess that's my life now.
368
00:15:17,311 --> 00:15:18,704
What do you mean?
369
00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:23,071
Everyone is acting weird.
370
00:15:23,727 --> 00:15:25,524
My mom is going on dates
371
00:15:25,612 --> 00:15:28,360
and, my dad is acting
like a child.
372
00:15:28,571 --> 00:15:30,915
My sister's crying
all the time.
373
00:15:33,054 --> 00:15:34,268
I just
374
00:15:34,586 --> 00:15:38,212
wish... that everything could
go back to the way it was.
375
00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:41,962
I don't think it will.
376
00:15:43,231 --> 00:15:46,062
It turned out
I was really good at listening.
377
00:15:46,173 --> 00:15:50,618
The trick is to sit there, and
when you want to leave, don't.
378
00:15:51,078 --> 00:15:54,331
I have to live
in two separate houses.
379
00:15:54,743 --> 00:15:58,243
And my grandma says the meanest
things about my dad.
380
00:15:59,336 --> 00:16:02,006
I know
that everyone is upset
381
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,923
that I'm not doing well
in school.
382
00:16:04,204 --> 00:16:07,571
It's just hard to care.
383
00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:12,829
Everything that used
to seem important to me
384
00:16:13,446 --> 00:16:17,363
just... doesn't anymore.
385
00:16:19,618 --> 00:16:24,446
So I guess,
really, I just feel alone.
386
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:30,573
That sounds hard.
387
00:16:31,462 --> 00:16:34,196
Yeah... it is.
388
00:16:34,313 --> 00:16:36,217
Dr. Sturgis was right.
389
00:16:36,305 --> 00:16:40,514
There was nothing I could do
to fix this, or so I thought.
390
00:16:40,602 --> 00:16:42,642
Can I offer you
a hot beverage?
391
00:16:44,118 --> 00:16:45,759
That would be nice.
392
00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:47,899
Be right back.
393
00:16:49,213 --> 00:16:51,204
The "Hot Beverage of Comfort"
394
00:16:51,292 --> 00:16:52,930
would become
my go-to method
395
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,437
of dealing with someone
in emotional distress.
396
00:16:55,634 --> 00:16:57,555
And it always worked.
397
00:16:57,712 --> 00:16:59,819
Except when my wife
was in labor,
398
00:16:59,907 --> 00:17:03,126
where it was suggested
I throw it in my own face.
399
00:17:07,739 --> 00:17:10,266
- What you doing?
- Paige is feeling sad,
400
00:17:10,354 --> 00:17:12,344
so I'm making her
a hot beverage.
401
00:17:12,776 --> 00:17:14,704
Oh. You're a good kid.
402
00:17:17,486 --> 00:17:18,891
I'm proud of you.
403
00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:22,032
Thank you.
404
00:17:22,273 --> 00:17:23,985
Of all my accomplishments,
405
00:17:24,073 --> 00:17:26,579
I don't know why he singled
this moment out,
406
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:28,235
but I'm glad he did.
407
00:17:29,196 --> 00:17:30,485
Sup?
408
00:17:30,605 --> 00:17:34,914
♪ I sparkle ♪
409
00:17:35,002 --> 00:17:37,918
♪ Loving the way that I do ♪
410
00:17:38,142 --> 00:17:40,492
♪ It is true ♪
411
00:17:40,579 --> 00:17:43,163
♪ I feel so good ♪
412
00:17:43,251 --> 00:17:46,477
♪ Just having you ♪
413
00:17:46,610 --> 00:17:51,242
♪ Breathlessly ♪
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH
414
00:17:51,329 --> 00:17:54,821
♪ And eager ♪
Sync corrections by srjanapala
415
00:17:54,985 --> 00:17:56,243
♪ Submission isn't easy. ♪
416
00:17:59,598 --> 00:18:00,904
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
417
00:18:00,991 --> 00:18:02,514
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
418
00:18:02,601 --> 00:18:04,761
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
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