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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,011 --> 00:00:07,720 [narrator] Previously on Work in Progress. 2 00:00:07,804 --> 00:00:09,095 -What can I do for you? -Oh, hi! 3 00:00:09,178 --> 00:00:11,011 This bitch at work, she's like, 4 00:00:11,095 --> 00:00:13,220 "I went to Costco and got you almonds." 5 00:00:13,303 --> 00:00:14,804 Pat was not exactly a positive portrayal 6 00:00:14,887 --> 00:00:16,679 for gender nonconforming folks. 7 00:00:16,762 --> 00:00:19,387 I'm learning and I'm trying to make it up to you. 8 00:00:19,470 --> 00:00:21,595 -When are you gonna tell her? -Because relationships 9 00:00:21,679 --> 00:00:23,178 are about sharing everything. 10 00:00:23,261 --> 00:00:25,178 It just seems sudden, and I'm just having trouble. 11 00:00:25,261 --> 00:00:27,053 I saw Chris' dead name. 12 00:00:27,136 --> 00:00:29,679 Campbell, it was with the one thing he asked me not to know. 13 00:00:29,762 --> 00:00:32,303 It was an honest mistake. So, are you going to tell him? 14 00:00:33,553 --> 00:00:34,804 Sure, yeah. 15 00:00:34,887 --> 00:00:36,053 -Okay. -All right. 16 00:00:42,845 --> 00:00:45,720 ♪ ♪ ♪ 17 00:00:45,804 --> 00:00:47,637 [lively chatter in car] 18 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,929 [Abby] Creative? I'm not so sure. Pinterest, yes. 19 00:00:50,011 --> 00:00:52,178 [Chris] Alright, alright. I get it. 20 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:53,637 -Oh. -All right. 21 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,428 Whoo-whee! 22 00:00:55,512 --> 00:00:56,929 Hey, let me get it. 23 00:00:57,011 --> 00:00:58,679 -Oh. Well, thank you, Mike. -I got it. 24 00:00:58,762 --> 00:01:00,095 -And thanks for the ride. -Yeah. 25 00:01:00,178 --> 00:01:01,512 All I's going to say is, 26 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,929 "We survived, and I'm moving out." 27 00:01:04,011 --> 00:01:06,595 Did you guys hear that? Apologies. 28 00:01:06,679 --> 00:01:07,929 Ah, you know me. 29 00:01:08,011 --> 00:01:09,428 Oh, actually, that's not my bag. 30 00:01:09,512 --> 00:01:10,720 -But this is. -Oh. 31 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:11,720 Are we taking you to your place? 32 00:01:11,804 --> 00:01:13,136 -No, here's fine. -Okay. 33 00:01:13,220 --> 00:01:14,303 -Alright. -No, don't-- 34 00:01:14,387 --> 00:01:15,720 Or I can go. 35 00:01:15,804 --> 00:01:17,512 No, you should come up. That's cool. 36 00:01:17,595 --> 00:01:19,095 I'm still holding the bag. 37 00:01:19,178 --> 00:01:20,679 [Abby] Okay, Mike, you can put it down. 38 00:01:20,762 --> 00:01:22,178 -All right. -[scoffs] 39 00:01:22,261 --> 00:01:23,679 -Thank you. -[Mike] Yeah, yeah. 40 00:01:23,762 --> 00:01:26,679 -Well, we married off Dad. -Yeah, we did. 41 00:01:26,762 --> 00:01:28,804 Well, you did. You did an amazing job. 42 00:01:28,887 --> 00:01:31,345 Aw. I couldn't have done it without you. 43 00:01:31,428 --> 00:01:32,970 Yeah, you could have, probably. 44 00:01:33,053 --> 00:01:35,178 -Yeah, I could have, probably. -[laughs] 45 00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:39,428 Would it be okay if I called you later? 46 00:01:39,512 --> 00:01:41,929 Just... uh... 47 00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:45,804 Yes, of course. What's wrong? 48 00:01:45,887 --> 00:01:47,470 No, no, nothing. It's not a big deal. 49 00:01:47,553 --> 00:01:49,512 It'll be fine. I just would love... 50 00:01:49,595 --> 00:01:51,512 Hey! 51 00:01:51,595 --> 00:01:53,762 Hey, thank you for being a part of this weekend. 52 00:01:53,845 --> 00:01:55,303 We really all loved having you there. 53 00:01:55,387 --> 00:01:58,345 -Thank you. -Yeah, it was really good. 54 00:01:58,428 --> 00:02:00,053 -Honk, honk! -[Abby] Oh, my God, Mike! 55 00:02:00,136 --> 00:02:01,470 Hey, come on, babe. We got to go. 56 00:02:01,553 --> 00:02:03,178 This guy! Okay, babe, okay. 57 00:02:03,261 --> 00:02:04,887 -All right, love you. -I love you. 58 00:02:04,970 --> 00:02:06,011 -All right, bye. Thanks. -Bye. 59 00:02:06,095 --> 00:02:07,887 -Love you. -Love you. Bye. 60 00:02:07,970 --> 00:02:09,637 I love you. Good luck with everything, you guys. 61 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:10,970 -[honks horn] -Love you. 62 00:02:13,428 --> 00:02:16,136 Are you really okay with not coming up? I'm really sorry. 63 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,929 I'm going to go hang out at Kai and Geo's. 64 00:02:18,011 --> 00:02:19,804 Riv's in town this weekend, so...I'm-- 65 00:02:19,887 --> 00:02:21,595 -I got stuff to do. -Oh, my gosh. Perfect. 66 00:02:21,679 --> 00:02:22,970 -Will you tell them I said hey? -I will. 67 00:02:23,053 --> 00:02:24,261 -Okay. -Of course. 68 00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:25,720 -Well... -I'll call you later. 69 00:02:25,804 --> 00:02:26,637 -Yeah. -Yeah? 70 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:27,845 Okay. 71 00:02:34,762 --> 00:02:37,178 [clicks tongue] You did good, kid. 72 00:02:43,845 --> 00:02:46,261 [exhales] 73 00:02:46,345 --> 00:02:48,011 [Abby] Not a big fucking deal, Abby. 74 00:02:48,095 --> 00:02:50,387 Why do you make everything a big fucking federal deal? 75 00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,345 Nobody knows. 76 00:02:52,512 --> 00:02:53,679 You didn't see the name. 77 00:02:53,762 --> 00:02:55,261 Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 78 00:02:55,345 --> 00:02:56,887 You don't know what it is. It's just Chris. 79 00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:58,428 It's your boyfriend Chris. 80 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,220 Fuck. But you know what? You did see it. 81 00:03:00,303 --> 00:03:02,053 And you saw it on purpose, 82 00:03:02,136 --> 00:03:04,637 because you're a fucking petulant little cunt. 83 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,303 And then you kept it from him. 84 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:10,178 You're a fucking pill-bottle-label-reading liar. 85 00:03:10,261 --> 00:03:11,970 And a betrayer. 86 00:03:14,553 --> 00:03:17,303 Aah! Fuck! 87 00:03:21,887 --> 00:03:23,220 Fuck. 88 00:03:25,428 --> 00:03:26,637 [gasps and sighs] 89 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,345 How do I tell him? 90 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,720 [exhales] 91 00:03:45,929 --> 00:03:48,178 Are you fucking kidding me? 92 00:03:51,136 --> 00:03:52,345 [sighs] 93 00:03:53,553 --> 00:03:54,929 I fucking hate books. 94 00:03:56,679 --> 00:03:58,720 Just call him. 95 00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:01,887 Call him. Abby, fucking call Chris. 96 00:04:01,970 --> 00:04:03,595 Tell him you saw his dead name, 97 00:04:03,679 --> 00:04:05,845 and then this whole bullshit will be done. 98 00:04:05,929 --> 00:04:07,970 He's not gonna care. 99 00:04:08,053 --> 00:04:09,261 Here I go. 100 00:04:09,345 --> 00:04:11,053 -[rings] -Aah! 101 00:04:12,637 --> 00:04:13,845 Fuck. 102 00:04:17,929 --> 00:04:19,095 Hello? 103 00:04:19,178 --> 00:04:20,887 [Julia, over phone] Abby! 104 00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:23,512 -Hey, Julia. -Oh! 105 00:04:23,595 --> 00:04:25,220 Oh, no. Something's wrong. 106 00:04:25,303 --> 00:04:26,720 Is this a bad time? I'm so sorry. 107 00:04:26,804 --> 00:04:28,720 -I can call back. -Actually, you know, 108 00:04:28,804 --> 00:04:29,804 Julia, it's not you. 109 00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,512 [sighs] 110 00:04:32,595 --> 00:04:35,345 Just tell him you saw it and that's it, right? 111 00:04:35,428 --> 00:04:37,887 It's not that simple, though. 112 00:04:37,970 --> 00:04:40,887 I think you should just say, "Chris, I saw your birth name--" 113 00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:43,220 -It's dead name. -Dead name. 114 00:04:43,303 --> 00:04:45,720 "I didn't mean to, but I did, and--" 115 00:04:45,804 --> 00:04:47,387 Oh, what is this? 116 00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:49,387 -Honey wine. -Oh. 117 00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:52,679 I thought white wine always meant chardonnay. 118 00:04:52,762 --> 00:04:54,387 [laughs] 119 00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:56,887 Anyway, you were saying? 120 00:04:56,970 --> 00:04:59,387 I was just--like, I know I should tell him, right? 121 00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:01,178 But it's just I've waited so long 122 00:05:01,261 --> 00:05:02,929 and I just feel it's way too late. 123 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,929 And even though I didn't mean to see the name, 124 00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:06,637 it's just that I still-- 125 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,512 [coughs] 126 00:05:08,595 --> 00:05:10,136 -Excuse me. -Hey, are you all right? 127 00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,762 -That really is different. -Oh, okay. 128 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,011 Do you want some water, or...? 129 00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:14,470 -No, I'm fine. -Okay. 130 00:05:14,553 --> 00:05:16,261 Anyways, I was just thinking, if I could wait 131 00:05:16,345 --> 00:05:18,220 -for the perfect-- -You know what? I think-- 132 00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:19,428 I think-- Just because I've been wait-- 133 00:05:19,512 --> 00:05:20,512 [coughs] I think I need some water. 134 00:05:25,512 --> 00:05:27,512 Listen, this is what I would tell my daughter. 135 00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:30,303 I think I would say, "Put yourself in Chris' shoes." 136 00:05:30,387 --> 00:05:33,595 If you were Chris, would you want you to tell you? 137 00:05:33,679 --> 00:05:35,845 Would you want to know? 138 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:39,011 -That I know? -Yeah. 139 00:05:39,095 --> 00:05:41,053 I mean, I would want to know, 140 00:05:41,136 --> 00:05:42,762 because I want to know everything, 141 00:05:42,845 --> 00:05:44,595 especially if it's hurtful. 142 00:05:44,679 --> 00:05:49,261 But would Chris want to know that I know? 143 00:05:49,345 --> 00:05:52,261 I think because he's so young, 144 00:05:52,345 --> 00:05:53,887 he's having a better day not knowing. 145 00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:56,303 So, I don't think he'd want to know. 146 00:05:56,387 --> 00:05:58,762 I'm not gonna tell him. 147 00:05:58,845 --> 00:06:01,178 Hm. Thank you. 148 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:04,470 That's not what I thought you were gonna decide. 149 00:06:04,553 --> 00:06:06,470 [laughs] But okay. 150 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,470 Hey, why were you calling me in the first place anyway? 151 00:06:11,553 --> 00:06:13,720 -It'll wait. -Wait, what can wait? 152 00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:15,303 Well, I wanted to tell you something, 153 00:06:15,387 --> 00:06:17,387 but I didn't know how you were going to react. 154 00:06:18,053 --> 00:06:19,887 What is it? 155 00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:22,303 Are you in a good emotional space right now? 156 00:06:22,387 --> 00:06:25,053 Julia, we're going to be waiting a long time for that train, 157 00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:26,303 so could you just tell me? 158 00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:29,595 All right, well, okay. Have you heard of NPR? 159 00:06:29,679 --> 00:06:33,053 National Public Radio? Yeah, I've heard of it. 160 00:06:33,136 --> 00:06:34,929 -I'm a supporter. -Okay. 161 00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:37,095 Well, they have this show on there, 162 00:06:37,178 --> 00:06:39,637 called This American Life. 163 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,804 Julia, I know about This American Life. 164 00:06:41,887 --> 00:06:45,136 Oh, okay. Anyway, sometimes they do these live shows, 165 00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:46,845 and they're gonna do one here, 166 00:06:46,929 --> 00:06:48,679 and they asked me to do a piece. 167 00:06:48,762 --> 00:06:50,553 -That's amazing. -Yeah. 168 00:06:50,637 --> 00:06:54,637 And, anyway, I was thinking a lot about creating Pat, 169 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,345 and how it made your life so difficult, 170 00:06:56,428 --> 00:06:59,345 and how I feel so horrible about it. 171 00:06:59,428 --> 00:07:02,178 -And that was never my intent. -Oh, no. 172 00:07:02,261 --> 00:07:04,387 -Is this upsetting you? -Not yet. No. 173 00:07:04,470 --> 00:07:06,095 Okay. 174 00:07:06,178 --> 00:07:09,637 Well, I wanted to know if you would come to the show. 175 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,303 It's a week from Saturday. 176 00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,720 And it all came together so fast. 177 00:07:12,804 --> 00:07:14,887 I understand if you can't go. 178 00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:17,470 I really want to, it's just um... 179 00:07:17,553 --> 00:07:18,679 This week's been a little rough, 180 00:07:18,762 --> 00:07:20,512 so... 181 00:07:20,595 --> 00:07:23,178 Please, can you come? 182 00:07:23,261 --> 00:07:25,053 Normal Al is going to be out of town, 183 00:07:25,136 --> 00:07:26,720 and I think it's going to be fun. 184 00:07:26,804 --> 00:07:29,261 And I think I can get you free tickets. 185 00:07:29,345 --> 00:07:30,845 Your girl does like free stuff, 186 00:07:30,929 --> 00:07:32,762 so odds of attendance just doubled. 187 00:07:32,845 --> 00:07:34,470 [laughs] 188 00:07:34,553 --> 00:07:36,470 Oh, and remember what we decided. 189 00:07:36,553 --> 00:07:39,053 You're going to be totally honest with Chris, right? 190 00:07:39,136 --> 00:07:40,887 That's not what we decided. 191 00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:44,053 We decided I wouldn't tell him. 192 00:07:44,136 --> 00:07:46,637 Okay, but I think that's a big mistake. 193 00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:53,178 [cell phone rings] 194 00:07:57,637 --> 00:07:59,595 -Hello? -[Chris, over phone] Hey. 195 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:01,136 Oh, my God. What's wrong? You okay? 196 00:08:01,220 --> 00:08:02,804 Everything's fine. 197 00:08:02,887 --> 00:08:06,720 But what band was Glen Phillips the lead singer of? 198 00:08:06,804 --> 00:08:08,261 Uh, Toad the Wet Sprocket. 199 00:08:08,345 --> 00:08:09,470 -[mouthing silently] -[Abby] Why? 200 00:08:09,553 --> 00:08:12,345 [whispering] Toad the Wet Sprocket. 201 00:08:14,178 --> 00:08:15,929 We're playing bar trivia. 202 00:08:16,011 --> 00:08:16,929 -Hi, Abby. -[snickers] 203 00:08:17,011 --> 00:08:18,553 Get off the phone. 204 00:08:18,637 --> 00:08:21,345 You can't call me. That's cheating. 205 00:08:21,428 --> 00:08:23,428 But we need your '90s help, Abby, Sr. 206 00:08:23,512 --> 00:08:25,178 Come meet us. 207 00:08:25,261 --> 00:08:27,095 -We really do. Come. -Shh! Abby. 208 00:08:27,178 --> 00:08:29,303 I can't. Not tonight. 209 00:08:33,428 --> 00:08:35,303 Remember, I'm gonna see you on Thursday. 210 00:08:35,387 --> 00:08:36,804 -You promise? -Yeah, of course. 211 00:08:36,887 --> 00:08:37,970 That sounds like fun. 212 00:08:38,053 --> 00:08:39,637 Now, Chris, get off the phone. 213 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,845 -You're gonna get in trouble. -I like trouble. 214 00:08:41,929 --> 00:08:43,178 Tell Abby, Jr., I say good night. 215 00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:45,804 -See you Thursday. -Boo. 216 00:08:45,887 --> 00:08:47,011 I know, boo. 217 00:08:47,095 --> 00:08:48,720 All right, babe, good night. 218 00:08:52,011 --> 00:08:53,387 [sighs] 219 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,553 [typing] 220 00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:05,136 [Susan] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 221 00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:09,136 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 222 00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:12,470 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Abby ♪ 223 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,595 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 224 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,387 It's not my birthday. 225 00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:18,261 But it is your work birthday. 226 00:09:18,345 --> 00:09:21,011 My work birthday? 227 00:09:21,095 --> 00:09:24,178 Yeah. It's been a full year that you've been temping with us. 228 00:09:24,261 --> 00:09:26,095 So, my anniversary? 229 00:09:26,178 --> 00:09:28,929 Nah, anniversary's boring. I like work birthday better. 230 00:09:29,011 --> 00:09:31,553 And, look, I got you this cookie cake. 231 00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:35,095 I didn't pay for it, but it was my idea. 232 00:09:38,887 --> 00:09:40,637 Wow. 233 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,595 Wow, indeed. 234 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:44,679 Can you believe it? 235 00:09:44,762 --> 00:09:47,679 It's been one whole year since you've been temping with us. 236 00:09:47,762 --> 00:09:49,929 One whole year. 237 00:09:50,011 --> 00:09:52,845 And can I tell you? The almonds are working. 238 00:09:52,929 --> 00:09:54,679 You look 3 1/2 pounds lighter. 239 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,011 I believe I owe it all 240 00:09:57,095 --> 00:09:58,637 to your pointed advice, Susan. 241 00:09:58,720 --> 00:09:59,637 Oh... 242 00:10:01,428 --> 00:10:03,595 Abby, here's a crazy idea. 243 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,387 Let's get lunch. 244 00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:07,428 Or a coffee, or drinks. Whatever you want. 245 00:10:07,512 --> 00:10:09,345 -That's not necessary. -It is. 246 00:10:09,428 --> 00:10:11,679 We got to celebrate this full year. 247 00:10:11,762 --> 00:10:13,595 And we should talk about your future. 248 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,303 -[sighs] -What? 249 00:10:15,387 --> 00:10:17,303 Sorry, I've just had a tough few days. 250 00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:21,387 [Susan] Oh, did you lose your pet? 251 00:10:21,470 --> 00:10:22,845 Oh, no, I don't have a pet to... 252 00:10:22,929 --> 00:10:24,637 Oh. 253 00:10:26,470 --> 00:10:28,845 Okay, you know what? Coffee sounds great. 254 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,345 Ooh, score. 255 00:10:30,428 --> 00:10:32,345 Oh. 256 00:10:32,428 --> 00:10:33,720 [laughs] I've been so into 257 00:10:33,804 --> 00:10:35,637 these new coconut caramel soy lattes. 258 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,387 They are so good. 259 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,553 But I only let myself have one a week. 260 00:10:39,637 --> 00:10:41,804 I'm like, "Listen, Susan. No. 261 00:10:41,887 --> 00:10:44,762 You got to make yourself the policeman of yourself." 262 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,261 You know what I mean? 263 00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:47,762 Hey, let's get coffee. 264 00:10:47,845 --> 00:10:50,011 Let's figure out your future. 265 00:10:50,095 --> 00:10:51,303 You can't temp forever. 266 00:10:51,387 --> 00:10:53,470 Yeah, but maybe I can. 267 00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,804 Actually, you can't. Company policy. 268 00:11:03,011 --> 00:11:04,762 [cell phone rings] 269 00:11:20,387 --> 00:11:21,553 [sighs] 270 00:11:46,595 --> 00:11:50,679 Oh, it looks like you've gained 4.8 pounds this week. 271 00:11:50,762 --> 00:11:52,220 Yup. 272 00:11:52,303 --> 00:11:54,178 You're staying for the meeting, right? 273 00:11:54,261 --> 00:11:56,136 Judy's on fire today. 274 00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:57,804 But I can see that you are really aware 275 00:11:57,887 --> 00:12:00,136 of what you need to do. Yeah? 276 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,970 -Are you excited to be here?! -I guess so. 277 00:12:03,053 --> 00:12:04,929 [Judy continues, indistinct] 278 00:12:05,011 --> 00:12:08,178 Hey, don't despair, 4.8 pounds is not the end of the world. 279 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,011 I never said it was. 280 00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:12,553 [Judy] Well, how do we feel about the truth? 281 00:12:12,637 --> 00:12:14,804 You don't want people lying to you, right? 282 00:12:14,887 --> 00:12:18,512 We want the truth. What is the truth? 283 00:12:18,595 --> 00:12:21,679 It's being honest with yourself when life is hard. 284 00:12:21,762 --> 00:12:24,553 When you're challenged. When you're uncomfortable. 285 00:12:24,637 --> 00:12:26,470 Right? 286 00:12:26,553 --> 00:12:28,345 You have to tell the truth 287 00:12:28,428 --> 00:12:30,845 if you want to lose those five pounds. 288 00:12:30,929 --> 00:12:35,512 You have to acknowledge that you then gain those ten pounds. 289 00:12:35,595 --> 00:12:38,220 Right? So tell the truth. 290 00:12:38,303 --> 00:12:41,887 Be honest with yourself. 291 00:12:44,303 --> 00:12:46,470 [woman] The usual? Thanks so much. 292 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,220 [woman] Hi, what can I get you? 293 00:12:49,303 --> 00:12:50,970 [woman 2] Hi, just a small coffee to go. 294 00:12:51,053 --> 00:12:53,178 -[woman 2] Thank you. -[woman 1] Thanks. 295 00:12:53,261 --> 00:12:55,303 Hi, what can I get for you? 296 00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:59,345 You know what? Nothing. 297 00:12:59,428 --> 00:13:01,053 Thank you, though. 298 00:13:01,136 --> 00:13:02,887 [woman] Hi, how are you doing? 299 00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:05,387 [man] Yeah, can I get an old-fashioned, please? 300 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:07,595 And a medium coffee. 301 00:13:13,637 --> 00:13:14,929 [scoffs] 302 00:13:17,553 --> 00:13:18,720 [woman] Here you go. 303 00:13:20,303 --> 00:13:22,095 -Hi again. -Hi. Um, 304 00:13:22,178 --> 00:13:25,387 may I please have a small iced coffee with skim milk for me, 305 00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:27,553 and then... 306 00:13:27,637 --> 00:13:31,220 one large whole milk latte 307 00:13:31,303 --> 00:13:34,095 and, let's see... 308 00:13:34,178 --> 00:13:35,553 four old-fashioned. 309 00:13:35,637 --> 00:13:37,303 Thanks. 310 00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:45,345 ♪ ♪ ♪ 311 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,136 [cell phone rings] 312 00:14:20,345 --> 00:14:22,387 ♪ Well, I better not Fuck this up ♪ 313 00:14:24,303 --> 00:14:26,178 ♪ Well, I better not Fuck this up ♪ 314 00:14:36,011 --> 00:14:38,345 ♪ Well, we'd better not Fuck this up ♪ 315 00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:42,387 ♪ Well, we'd better not Fuck this up ♪ 316 00:14:51,929 --> 00:14:53,970 ♪ Well, it's two lines On them ♪ 317 00:14:54,053 --> 00:14:55,887 ♪ And were pairing them Down the cost ♪ 318 00:14:55,970 --> 00:14:57,970 ♪ Well, it's two lines On them ♪ 319 00:14:58,053 --> 00:14:59,679 ♪ Well, you better not Put up a fuss ♪ 320 00:14:59,762 --> 00:15:01,428 ♪ Well, I'm wide awake ♪ 321 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,095 ♪ Whoo ♪ 322 00:15:08,428 --> 00:15:10,804 ♪ Well, you'd better not Fuck this up ♪ 323 00:15:10,887 --> 00:15:12,428 ♪ Well, you'd better not ♪ 324 00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:13,929 ♪ Fuck this up ♪ 325 00:15:15,261 --> 00:15:16,261 [Abby] Hey, Campbell. 326 00:15:17,512 --> 00:15:19,220 Hey! Can I get a what what? 327 00:15:20,929 --> 00:15:22,136 Hi. 328 00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:23,470 Mm. 329 00:15:23,553 --> 00:15:25,845 No, no, no. No. 330 00:15:25,929 --> 00:15:27,929 Campbell, you just worked out, okay? 331 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:31,011 Yeah, but post-workout smoking is the best kind of smoking. 332 00:15:31,095 --> 00:15:34,220 -What are you doing here? -I just wanted to see you. 333 00:15:34,303 --> 00:15:36,178 -It's Chris. Uh... -What? 334 00:15:36,261 --> 00:15:38,804 So I'm supposed to hang out with him and his friends tonight 335 00:15:38,887 --> 00:15:41,720 at the MCA, it's like this queer event. 336 00:15:41,804 --> 00:15:43,679 And I just don't think I want to go. 337 00:15:43,762 --> 00:15:45,095 -and kind of freaking out-- -Why? 338 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,261 Why? You love that shit. 339 00:15:47,345 --> 00:15:50,178 I mean, come on, you always say you're a patron of the arts. 340 00:15:50,261 --> 00:15:52,387 Except I don't think you know what "patron" means. 341 00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:53,637 [laughs] 342 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,011 Campbell I'm a horrible person. 343 00:15:57,095 --> 00:15:59,637 Jesus Christ, Abby, what? 344 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,178 I still haven't told Chris that I saw his dead name. 345 00:16:03,261 --> 00:16:04,887 Campbell, I saw Chris's dead name at the wedding? 346 00:16:04,970 --> 00:16:06,720 -At my dad's... -Oh, my God, right. 347 00:16:06,804 --> 00:16:07,970 Is that still going on? 348 00:16:08,053 --> 00:16:09,887 Yeah. I--fuck. 349 00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:12,095 -I don't know what to do. -All right. 350 00:16:12,178 --> 00:16:13,970 -We're getting drinks. -Okay. 351 00:16:14,053 --> 00:16:15,720 You follow me. I know exactly where we're going. 352 00:16:15,804 --> 00:16:17,512 [Campbell] Come on. It's going to be okay. 353 00:16:17,595 --> 00:16:20,512 It's two for one down here. I get two, you get one. 354 00:16:22,512 --> 00:16:24,095 I don't know, Abby. 355 00:16:24,178 --> 00:16:26,011 Maybe it's the red meat talking, 356 00:16:26,095 --> 00:16:27,762 but I think it's time for a dose of tough love. 357 00:16:27,845 --> 00:16:29,303 Not a fan. 358 00:16:29,387 --> 00:16:31,136 I know, but for fuck's sake, Abby, 359 00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:33,595 you have to tell him, all right? It was an accident. 360 00:16:33,679 --> 00:16:36,387 A normal person wouldn't be freaking out like this. 361 00:16:36,470 --> 00:16:38,428 Normal? 362 00:16:38,512 --> 00:16:41,261 I just mean, you're entitled to feel how you feel, 363 00:16:41,345 --> 00:16:45,053 but it's the not telling him that is now the problem. 364 00:16:45,136 --> 00:16:47,095 It's not good for you. 365 00:16:47,178 --> 00:16:49,845 And, frankly, it's really not good for me. 366 00:16:49,929 --> 00:16:51,428 How's that? 367 00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:53,762 Do you think I like being at a bar unshowered? 368 00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:55,804 How am I supposed to get laid? 369 00:16:55,887 --> 00:16:57,553 [cell phone rings] 370 00:16:58,762 --> 00:17:00,261 Is that him? 371 00:17:00,345 --> 00:17:01,553 No. It's Alison. 372 00:17:01,637 --> 00:17:04,095 -Oh, take it. -No. 373 00:17:04,178 --> 00:17:06,136 She's gonna tell me exactly what you just told me, 374 00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:08,303 what Julia told me, what Dr. Franklin told me. 375 00:17:08,387 --> 00:17:09,720 Dr. Franklin? 376 00:17:10,887 --> 00:17:12,637 -Oh, okay. -I know. 377 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,637 [laughs] For God's sakes. 378 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,804 Okay, let's go fucking patronize the arts, okay? 379 00:17:17,887 --> 00:17:19,595 -Campbell... -No, Abby. 380 00:17:19,679 --> 00:17:21,970 You want to do this, because you came to me. 381 00:17:22,053 --> 00:17:24,762 I'm your, "Yeah, fuck it, let's do this" friend, okay? 382 00:17:24,845 --> 00:17:27,887 So let's, one, go make up our money on the open bar. 383 00:17:27,970 --> 00:17:29,637 There is an open bar, right? 384 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,512 -Yeah. -Wonderful. 385 00:17:31,595 --> 00:17:33,470 And two, go appreciate the hell out of some fucking 386 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:37,011 contemporary clitoral abstractions, or whatever. 387 00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:40,220 And three, tell your boyfriend the fucking truth. 388 00:17:41,845 --> 00:17:43,345 Grab your shit. Let's go. 389 00:17:46,178 --> 00:17:47,762 [Campbell] Are you sure you didn't get a haircut? 390 00:17:47,845 --> 00:17:49,845 [Abby] No, but I need one. 391 00:17:49,929 --> 00:17:51,428 [Campbell] Okay, here we are. 392 00:17:53,679 --> 00:17:55,345 You're coming in with me, right? 393 00:17:55,428 --> 00:17:57,095 No. Of course not. 394 00:17:57,178 --> 00:17:59,553 Campbell, you said you were going to come in with me. 395 00:17:59,637 --> 00:18:02,804 Yeah. I said that to trick you. 396 00:18:02,887 --> 00:18:05,303 I smell like a wet horse. 397 00:18:05,387 --> 00:18:06,762 Be brave. 398 00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:11,345 I love you. 399 00:18:11,428 --> 00:18:12,679 Let me know how it goes. 400 00:18:12,762 --> 00:18:13,929 -Be brave? -Bye-bye! 401 00:18:22,804 --> 00:18:24,637 [indistinct chattering] 402 00:18:26,637 --> 00:18:29,136 [inaudible] 403 00:18:35,470 --> 00:18:36,845 Abby. 404 00:18:36,929 --> 00:18:38,887 -Hey. -You made it. 405 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:40,470 -Hi. -What's wrong? 406 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:41,679 Nothing. 407 00:18:41,762 --> 00:18:43,095 Are you sure? 408 00:18:43,178 --> 00:18:44,929 Yeah. 409 00:18:45,011 --> 00:18:46,845 It looks so cool in here. 410 00:18:46,929 --> 00:18:48,720 I can't wait to make my rounds. 411 00:18:48,804 --> 00:18:51,387 Oh, look at these two assholes standing right here! 412 00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:52,762 -Hi. -Mwah. 413 00:18:52,845 --> 00:18:54,637 -Hi. Hi, baby. -You look amazing. 414 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:56,261 -Oh, thank you. -You're welcome. 415 00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:59,261 Oh, my God. Don't look. No, stop looking. 416 00:18:59,345 --> 00:19:00,929 This guy that I fucked last week is here. 417 00:19:01,011 --> 00:19:02,553 He's standing right over there. 418 00:19:02,637 --> 00:19:04,845 -The teacher or the doctor? -The doctor. 419 00:19:04,929 --> 00:19:07,095 Ooh, a doctor? 420 00:19:07,178 --> 00:19:08,553 -He's a podiatrist. -Oh. 421 00:19:08,637 --> 00:19:09,845 No, stop looking. 422 00:19:09,929 --> 00:19:11,303 I just can't believe he's here. 423 00:19:14,011 --> 00:19:17,595 I'm over him. That's not who I am anymore. 424 00:19:17,679 --> 00:19:19,804 You know, I'm moving on. 425 00:19:19,887 --> 00:19:21,470 I'm going to go talk to him. 426 00:19:24,136 --> 00:19:25,345 Thank you, baby. 427 00:19:31,011 --> 00:19:32,095 Hi. 428 00:19:37,053 --> 00:19:39,011 I'm really glad you're here. 429 00:19:42,261 --> 00:19:43,303 Yeah. 430 00:19:49,970 --> 00:19:51,970 Should we get some drinks? 431 00:19:52,053 --> 00:19:54,345 Actually, could you get them? 432 00:19:56,637 --> 00:19:58,095 Yeah. 433 00:19:58,178 --> 00:19:59,220 Of course. 434 00:20:10,136 --> 00:20:14,136 ♪ dark, discordant music plays ♪ 435 00:20:43,261 --> 00:20:45,845 What else do you want me to say? 436 00:20:45,929 --> 00:20:47,303 [Abby] You decided that you're gonna break up with me 437 00:20:47,387 --> 00:20:49,220 and we're not even gonna talk about it? 438 00:20:49,303 --> 00:20:51,428 What is there to talk about? You're miserable. 439 00:20:51,512 --> 00:20:53,679 -I'm miserable. -You said that you loved me 440 00:20:53,762 --> 00:20:56,470 and that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. 441 00:20:56,553 --> 00:20:59,053 I did. And I don't anymore. 442 00:20:59,136 --> 00:21:01,220 [Abby] Why did you even move in with me, Melanie? 443 00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:02,679 Why'd you let it get this far? 444 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,053 We both let it get this far. 445 00:21:04,136 --> 00:21:05,595 Don't do this. 446 00:21:05,679 --> 00:21:07,178 What do you want me to do, Abby? 447 00:21:07,261 --> 00:21:09,595 -Be honest with me. -Be honest with you? 448 00:21:09,679 --> 00:21:12,428 -Are you serious? -Yeah, I'm fucking serious. 449 00:21:12,512 --> 00:21:14,136 You've been lying to me for I don't know how long. 450 00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:16,136 [Melanie] Me? You're a walking lie. 451 00:21:16,220 --> 00:21:17,887 I don't want to live like this anymore, Abby. 452 00:21:17,970 --> 00:21:19,845 Wait a fucking minute! That is way too much! 453 00:21:19,929 --> 00:21:22,637 No, no, no, no! You're not honest about who you are... 454 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,095 ever. 455 00:21:24,178 --> 00:21:25,679 Everyone outside of these walls 456 00:21:25,762 --> 00:21:28,595 gets to meet an Abby that's happy, excited, 457 00:21:28,679 --> 00:21:30,804 the life of the party. 458 00:21:30,887 --> 00:21:32,345 And then I'm left with this. 459 00:21:32,428 --> 00:21:35,387 And you wonder why I hide?! 460 00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:37,261 I've shared more of myself with you, Melanie, 461 00:21:37,345 --> 00:21:40,178 than anybody on the face of the fucking planet, 462 00:21:40,261 --> 00:21:41,553 and you fell out of love with me! 463 00:21:41,637 --> 00:21:44,512 Truly, Abby? You've shared nothing. 464 00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:48,887 You have all these rules and hang-ups and anxieties, 465 00:21:48,970 --> 00:21:50,387 and you talk about them all the time 466 00:21:50,470 --> 00:21:52,011 like you're being honest, 467 00:21:52,095 --> 00:21:53,929 but really it's just the tip of the iceberg. 468 00:21:54,011 --> 00:21:56,720 And it's killing me. And it's killing you. 469 00:21:56,804 --> 00:21:59,261 It's killing the both of us. 470 00:21:59,345 --> 00:22:01,136 I can't do this anymore. 471 00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:09,303 [door closes] 472 00:22:09,387 --> 00:22:13,345 ♪ dark, discordant music plays ♪ 473 00:22:22,553 --> 00:22:24,428 I saw your dead name. 474 00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:27,720 What? 475 00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:29,595 I saw your dead name and I know what it is. 476 00:22:29,679 --> 00:22:31,053 What? 477 00:22:31,136 --> 00:22:32,553 How? 478 00:22:32,637 --> 00:22:35,220 In the hotel at the wedding. 479 00:22:35,303 --> 00:22:37,637 You left your pill bottle on the bathroom counter, 480 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,428 and I was drunk, and I picked it up by accident. 481 00:22:40,512 --> 00:22:42,762 But then I picked it up again and I looked at it, 482 00:22:42,845 --> 00:22:44,637 and I saw it. 483 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,553 I saw it. I saw your dead name. 484 00:22:48,595 --> 00:22:50,470 Is this why--? 485 00:22:50,553 --> 00:22:53,053 I'm so sorry. I didn't know how to tell you. 486 00:22:53,136 --> 00:22:56,095 Is this why you've been acting like an asshole all week? 487 00:22:56,178 --> 00:22:57,553 I thought you were going to break up with me. 488 00:22:57,637 --> 00:22:59,470 Oh, God, no. I don't want that at all. 489 00:22:59,553 --> 00:23:00,887 I don't, please. 490 00:23:00,970 --> 00:23:02,220 I can't believe I spent the last week 491 00:23:02,303 --> 00:23:04,303 trying to figure out what I did wrong. 492 00:23:04,387 --> 00:23:06,303 Why you weren't responding to my calls. 493 00:23:06,387 --> 00:23:07,845 Why you were avoiding me. 494 00:23:07,929 --> 00:23:09,345 Why you weren't being yourself! 495 00:23:09,428 --> 00:23:11,220 I know. 496 00:23:11,303 --> 00:23:12,887 Why didn't you just tell me? 497 00:23:12,970 --> 00:23:14,762 [whispering] I was so afraid. I didn't know what to do. 498 00:23:14,845 --> 00:23:16,428 So you thought that the right thing to do 499 00:23:16,512 --> 00:23:17,804 was just keep it from me? 500 00:23:17,887 --> 00:23:19,303 To lie to my face? 501 00:23:19,387 --> 00:23:21,261 To make me second-guess everything about myself? 502 00:23:21,345 --> 00:23:23,261 I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to do. 503 00:23:23,345 --> 00:23:25,261 Well, it seems pretty fucking simple to me. 504 00:23:25,345 --> 00:23:26,845 Look, I know. 505 00:23:26,929 --> 00:23:29,053 I told Campbell, and she said just to tell you, 506 00:23:29,136 --> 00:23:30,220 because you would understand. 507 00:23:30,303 --> 00:23:32,387 What? Campbell knows? 508 00:23:32,470 --> 00:23:34,136 Yeah. 509 00:23:34,220 --> 00:23:36,178 And then I talked to Julia, and she told me that-- 510 00:23:36,261 --> 00:23:39,637 Jesus Christ, Abby! Julia Sweeney? 511 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,929 You talked to everyone about this but me? 512 00:23:45,387 --> 00:23:46,804 Did you tell them my dead name? 513 00:23:46,887 --> 00:23:48,512 [Abby] My God, no. I would never do that. 514 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,470 Yeah, well, why not? I had one goddamn boundary, 515 00:23:50,553 --> 00:23:52,679 and you just fucking blew right through it! 516 00:23:52,762 --> 00:23:54,095 Trust me. You've got to trust me. 517 00:23:54,178 --> 00:23:56,011 -Trust you? -Yeah. 518 00:23:56,095 --> 00:23:58,261 How the hell am I supposed to trust you right now? 519 00:23:58,345 --> 00:24:01,178 -Chris, please believe me. -Honestly? 520 00:24:01,261 --> 00:24:03,178 I don't know what to believe right now. 521 00:24:03,261 --> 00:24:04,887 Will you give me a minute just to explain-- 522 00:24:04,970 --> 00:24:07,220 No. I need some air. 523 00:24:07,303 --> 00:24:08,762 -Chris, please-- -No, don't follow me. 524 00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:33,762 Hi. 525 00:24:33,845 --> 00:24:35,178 Hey. 526 00:24:41,345 --> 00:24:45,011 So this is me not knowing what's going on. 527 00:24:45,095 --> 00:24:46,512 But what's going on? 528 00:24:48,679 --> 00:24:50,303 Have you seen Chris? 529 00:24:50,387 --> 00:24:51,929 He took off and said he'd call me later. 530 00:24:52,011 --> 00:24:53,887 He was looking... 531 00:24:53,970 --> 00:24:55,929 not euphoric. 532 00:24:56,011 --> 00:24:57,428 Fuck. 533 00:24:57,512 --> 00:24:59,095 -Can I get a drag of that? -Oh, yeah. 534 00:24:59,178 --> 00:25:00,428 -Thank you. -No problem. 535 00:25:00,512 --> 00:25:02,637 -I quit, but... -Oh, God. 536 00:25:04,804 --> 00:25:06,428 Yeah, I'm happy I quit. 537 00:25:06,512 --> 00:25:07,512 -[both laugh] -[Abby] Okay. 538 00:25:10,929 --> 00:25:13,804 Can I make a sweeping generalization? 539 00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:15,720 Uh... Why not? 540 00:25:15,804 --> 00:25:18,178 You're a much better person than you think you are. 541 00:25:18,261 --> 00:25:20,095 I think if you really knew who I was, 542 00:25:20,178 --> 00:25:22,345 you would not feel that way. 543 00:25:22,428 --> 00:25:24,553 Jesus, are you drowning puppies or something? 544 00:25:24,637 --> 00:25:25,887 [laughs] 545 00:25:25,970 --> 00:25:26,887 No. 546 00:25:26,970 --> 00:25:28,804 I'm just, uh... 547 00:25:28,887 --> 00:25:30,136 I'm really fucked up. 548 00:25:30,220 --> 00:25:32,637 Chris is fucked up too, you know? 549 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:34,220 Everybody's fucked up. 550 00:25:35,804 --> 00:25:37,303 Yeah, I know. 551 00:25:37,387 --> 00:25:39,929 But if there was, like, a competition, 552 00:25:40,011 --> 00:25:42,595 I'd win. 553 00:25:42,679 --> 00:25:46,053 Girl, that's your problem. It's not a competition. 554 00:25:46,136 --> 00:25:47,512 Now... 555 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,178 if you'll excuse me, 556 00:25:50,261 --> 00:25:52,345 that podiatrist that I fucked last week 557 00:25:52,428 --> 00:25:54,970 just introduced me to the chiropractor 558 00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:56,845 he fucked last week. 559 00:25:56,929 --> 00:25:59,178 I think I'm about to get a medical hookup Yahtzee. 560 00:25:59,261 --> 00:26:00,470 [both laugh] 561 00:26:00,553 --> 00:26:02,053 -Too much information? -No. 562 00:26:02,136 --> 00:26:03,428 Be safe, okay? 563 00:26:05,387 --> 00:26:06,679 Thank you. 564 00:26:08,261 --> 00:26:11,011 ♪ To keep the pain ♪ 565 00:26:11,095 --> 00:26:14,595 ♪ To a minimal ♪ 566 00:26:14,679 --> 00:26:16,136 ♪ Weightless ♪ 567 00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:19,762 ♪ Only wait for a fall ♪ 568 00:26:24,178 --> 00:26:25,762 ♪ How long ♪ 569 00:26:27,345 --> 00:26:30,053 ♪ Must I wait for you? ♪ 570 00:26:30,136 --> 00:26:32,845 ♪ I dance ♪ 571 00:26:32,929 --> 00:26:35,887 ♪ In the evening ♪ 572 00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:37,303 ♪ How ♪ 573 00:26:39,220 --> 00:26:41,470 ♪ What I need? ♪ 574 00:26:44,428 --> 00:26:46,387 ♪ ♪ ♪ 575 00:27:06,220 --> 00:27:09,220 ♪ Holding on ♪ 576 00:27:09,303 --> 00:27:12,303 ♪ To veneers ♪ 577 00:27:12,387 --> 00:27:14,220 ♪ His words end ♪ 578 00:27:14,303 --> 00:27:17,220 ♪ From birthdays ♪ 579 00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:23,679 ♪ Goodbye to our emptiness ♪ 580 00:27:25,178 --> 00:27:28,762 ♪ Yeah, that's when I saw her ♪ 581 00:27:30,970 --> 00:27:34,845 ♪ Hold me back ♪ 582 00:27:37,095 --> 00:27:38,095 ♪ Hold me back ♪ 40951

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