All language subtitles for The Wild Wild West - 02x07 - The Night of the Poisonous Posey.Unspecified.English.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,107 --> 00:00:10,841 Oh, smell that, huh? 2 00:00:10,843 --> 00:00:11,842 What? 3 00:00:11,844 --> 00:00:12,944 That air. 4 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,212 It's as invigorating as a bottle 5 00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:17,115 of the finest chilled bubbly. 6 00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:19,284 And this- Ah. 7 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:20,585 You know we are, Jim? 8 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:22,587 Uh... 9 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:26,991 "Justice, Nevada, population 132." 10 00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:29,927 Wrong. We are in the heartland of America. 11 00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:35,032 Serene, unhurried, far from the madding throng. 12 00:00:47,079 --> 00:00:48,746 All right, 13 00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:51,716 you jaspers get off your horses, 14 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,119 real nice and easy-like. 15 00:01:13,772 --> 00:01:15,406 Uh, sheriff, 16 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,575 I know this doesn't sound very original, 17 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,444 but don't you have us confused with two others? 18 00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:20,512 Sam. 19 00:01:23,215 --> 00:01:25,450 Them are the two road agents, all right. 20 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,785 Bloodthirsty murdering varmints. 21 00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:29,454 No, no, no, wait a minute. 22 00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:30,855 We all know how you feel, 23 00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:33,191 but we're gonna handle this 24 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:35,360 strictly according to the book. 25 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,929 All right, you two, this way. 26 00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:40,231 Bring 'em along, boys. 27 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:46,804 What were you saying about this town, Artie? 28 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:49,073 Quiet, unhurried. 29 00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:50,941 I sure was wrong, wasn't I? 30 00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:54,445 What do you suppose they've got in mind? 31 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,746 I don't know. 32 00:01:57,949 --> 00:01:59,184 I've got a wild idea. 33 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:02,654 Sam. 34 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,256 This is an old-fashioned necktie party. 35 00:03:13,659 --> 00:03:16,728 And whereas you two sidewinders 36 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,195 went and committed armed robbery 37 00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:20,732 of the Elkhart camelback stagecoach, 38 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,133 and whereas, 39 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,201 in the commission of said robbery, 40 00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:26,337 you two committed mayhem, 41 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:28,339 pistol whippin' and murder. 42 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,107 Therefore, 43 00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:32,243 I sentence you both to hang by the neck. 44 00:03:40,986 --> 00:03:43,154 Don't do it, sheriff. 45 00:03:50,729 --> 00:03:53,798 You know, I've seen some bad sports in my time, 46 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:54,965 but you two- 47 00:03:54,967 --> 00:03:57,802 You two are the all-fired, 48 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,937 low-downest absolute limit. 49 00:04:02,441 --> 00:04:05,042 You know, I think I must have come in late, Jim. 50 00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:08,012 Weren't these gentlemen doing their best to hang us 51 00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,781 just a couple of minutes ago? 52 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,649 That was the impression I got. 53 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:12,950 Hang you? 54 00:04:14,453 --> 00:04:16,153 Is that what you thought we were aiming to do? 55 00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:19,957 Sam, go. 56 00:04:53,592 --> 00:04:54,692 You mean to tell me 57 00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:57,495 that all of this Danny Deever bit 58 00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:58,929 back here was just... 59 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:00,765 Play acting. Just play acting. 60 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:02,400 And all in the spirit of fun, 61 00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:05,236 as anyone in his right mind ought to have seen. 62 00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:06,671 Sam. 63 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:20,317 "Whereas this thriving community of justice-" 64 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:21,886 All right. 65 00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,389 All right, now, let's don't run it, plumb into the ground. 66 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,594 "Whereas the thriving community of Justice 67 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,096 "is now equipped to cope with any crime problem 68 00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:33,330 "by said community, 69 00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:34,799 "having gone and hired itself 70 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,268 "a first-class sheriff-" to wit, me. 71 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,636 "And whereas 72 00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:40,971 "it's been a long time since there's been any call 73 00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,473 "for a town celebration. 74 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:46,043 "Therefore, this week is hereby officially proclaimed 75 00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:49,246 "as Law and Order Week in Justice, Nevada." 76 00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:51,315 And since you two varmints- 77 00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,719 I-I mean, you two gents 78 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:56,320 were the first to come by 79 00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:58,923 since the town justice passed the rulin'... 80 00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:08,299 The key to the city. 81 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,234 Mm-hm. 82 00:06:11,102 --> 00:06:12,136 Uh... 83 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:16,206 Ladies and gentlemen, we... 84 00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:17,909 we're sorry. 85 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,777 We really wanna thank you very much 86 00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,679 for this, uh, signal honor. 87 00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:25,716 My friend and I are really deeply 88 00:06:26,351 --> 00:06:28,853 touched by... 89 00:06:33,224 --> 00:06:35,460 Artie, I think, uh, 90 00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:38,095 I think we hurt their feelings. 91 00:06:57,316 --> 00:06:59,383 You know, 92 00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:03,420 it's the free sarsaparilla that always gets me. 93 00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:05,356 Look, we're on vacation anyway. 94 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,224 What do you say we just spend a day or two 95 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:09,226 right here at Justice? 96 00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:11,929 Bingo, dancing in the streets. 97 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,498 How can we go wrong? 98 00:07:24,910 --> 00:07:26,911 Disp�nseme, se�or. 99 00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:29,780 Oh, you will please excuse me, se�ores. 100 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,448 Of course. 101 00:07:37,255 --> 00:07:38,422 What's the matter? 102 00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:39,924 Uh, nothing. 103 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,593 You know, I-I have a sneaky feeling 104 00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:45,730 I've seen that gentleman someplace before. 105 00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,565 The question is where. 106 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:48,633 Yeah, me, too. 107 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,501 That's why I stayed turned away. 108 00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:53,971 Not a very comfortable feeling, either. 109 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,848 Artie, I'm famished. 110 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,783 What do you say we-? 111 00:08:08,219 --> 00:08:09,119 Artie. 112 00:08:10,589 --> 00:08:11,589 Artie. 113 00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:12,990 Hmm? 114 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:13,925 What? 115 00:08:14,893 --> 00:08:15,960 Listen to me. 116 00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:17,662 Don't move. 117 00:08:20,231 --> 00:08:21,298 Okay. 118 00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:25,102 I'm awake and I'm not moving. 119 00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:26,871 Now what? 120 00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:28,739 And if your head should itch- 121 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,708 It doesn't itch. 122 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,777 Good, then don't scratch. 123 00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:37,949 Now it itches. 124 00:08:39,284 --> 00:08:41,118 There's something on the pillow, Artie, 125 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,219 next to your head. 126 00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:44,055 What is it? 127 00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:47,725 Well, let's say it's smaller than a breadbox 128 00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,594 and larger than a tsetse fly. 129 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:53,464 Would it be likely to be used equally by both men and women? 130 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,265 Forget it, Artie. 131 00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:58,535 I-I'm gonna count to three, 132 00:08:58,537 --> 00:09:01,839 and then I want you to roll off that bed. 133 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:05,309 One. 134 00:09:06,211 --> 00:09:08,079 Two. 135 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:08,946 Three. 136 00:09:19,891 --> 00:09:22,727 I must say that's a rather interesting way 137 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,128 to wake up from a nap. 138 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,530 Now that it's all over, what was that? 139 00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:28,499 Now, that was a tarantula. 140 00:09:33,238 --> 00:09:37,341 A ta- A ta- A tarantula. 141 00:09:38,777 --> 00:09:40,678 I think, uh, your furry friend 142 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,879 has solved the question 143 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:43,681 of who the gentleman was that we bumped into. 144 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:44,949 You mean, eh...? 145 00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:45,950 Mm-hmm. 146 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:47,484 Gallito. 147 00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:49,319 Latin America's contribution 148 00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:50,921 to the world of sudden death. 149 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,624 The number-one killer wherever Spanish is spoken. 150 00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,259 He is wanted in just about 151 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,494 every Latin American country in the world. 152 00:09:57,496 --> 00:10:00,164 His trademark is the tarantula. 153 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,834 You all finished, Jim? 154 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:06,436 I think I can match you in spades. 155 00:10:06,438 --> 00:10:08,072 I'm listening. 156 00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,975 How about Cyrill the Firebug, 157 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,544 king of the oiled-soaked rag and the well-placed candle. 158 00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:16,246 Also wanted by the police of several continents 159 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:20,151 for a few hundred fires of mysterious origin. 160 00:10:21,019 --> 00:10:22,486 What a coincidence. 161 00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:25,690 A top professional killer and Mr. Fire himself, 162 00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:27,892 both in Justice, Nevada. 163 00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:31,896 And both of 'em wearing mourning bands on their sleeves. 164 00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,765 Hey, Jim, do my eyes deceive me, or is that, uh, 165 00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,901 Snakes Tolliver in the procession? 166 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,236 That's Snakes, all right. 167 00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:44,441 The guy playing caboose is, uh, mm-hm, little Pinto. 168 00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:48,312 Sergei from Minsk in Russia? 169 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:52,616 Brutus the Bonebreaker, scourge of the Caribbean? 170 00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:54,585 About the only criminals 171 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,821 I don't see in that procession that are well-known, 172 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,456 are Ascot Sam from New York, Irish Mantell 173 00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:02,126 and the Seattle Fire Kid. 174 00:11:03,261 --> 00:11:05,162 Listen, uh, 175 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,464 I know we're supposed to be on vacation, 176 00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:08,532 but do you think it might be 177 00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:11,702 in the interest of national security 178 00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:13,337 if we were to find out who might have died 179 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,207 to bring such a jolly crew together? 180 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,043 Definitely, Artie. 181 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:22,079 I'm gonna fire off a telegram to Washington 182 00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:24,648 and try and find out what this is all about. 183 00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:25,883 Hey, you do that. 184 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:27,752 I'll stay here and keep my eyes peeled. 185 00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:43,234 Oh, howdy, mister. 186 00:11:44,469 --> 00:11:45,870 What can I do for you? 187 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,073 Uh, I must say you run 188 00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:51,175 a great little one-man town here. 189 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:52,943 Uh, I take that very kindly of you- 190 00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:05,923 Unforgivably careless of me, gentlemen. 191 00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:08,125 I dropped my gun. 192 00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:10,360 I do hope no one was injured. 193 00:12:11,596 --> 00:12:13,998 Butterfingers. Now see here, Mr.- 194 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,268 Jones, Robert Jones of Kenosha, Wisconsin. 195 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,837 Well, see what you done when you dropped that gun? 196 00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:23,107 Now, I'm gonna bill you for the cost of replacing it. 197 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:26,210 Oh, but my dear sheriff, I would insist on that myself. 198 00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,312 Now if you'd be good enough to tell me the amount... 199 00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:30,781 I'm impounding this gun too, 200 00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:32,149 until after the celebration 201 00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:33,150 and yours too. 202 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,584 You two just don't realize 203 00:12:34,586 --> 00:12:36,854 how dangerous these weapons can be. 204 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:39,890 Oh, yeah, and that trick derringer 205 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:40,991 you got up your sleeve there 206 00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:43,160 while we're at it. 207 00:12:48,766 --> 00:12:50,100 Sheriff, can you tell me 208 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,036 where I can find the nearest telegraph? 209 00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:53,370 Grandford Junction. 210 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:57,174 That's 40 miles right square dab due west of here, 211 00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,376 but I wouldn't depend on any- 212 00:13:00,478 --> 00:13:02,213 Out of my way, butterfingers. 213 00:13:05,583 --> 00:13:07,017 Uh... 214 00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:10,988 Our horses, I believe. 215 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,857 Ain't no argument about that, mister. 216 00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:14,091 As deputy sheriff, 217 00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:15,792 I'm just impounding 'em, that's all. 218 00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:16,894 You people sure go in 219 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,762 for a lot of impounding around here. 220 00:13:19,797 --> 00:13:21,765 No livestock allowed on the street 221 00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,433 during our big celebration. 222 00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:25,035 That's a special ordinance 223 00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:27,872 passed by the town counsel and the mayor. 224 00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,106 I see. Well, that's just fine. 225 00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,374 Because when I talk to the mayor, 226 00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,709 I'll see that this ordinance is... 227 00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:35,679 No. No, don't tell me. 228 00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:38,983 Yep, I'm the mayor of Justice too. 229 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,618 Receipt for two horses, gentlemen. 230 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:42,686 Tsk. 231 00:13:42,688 --> 00:13:46,456 Oh, another receipt for another gun. 232 00:16:07,565 --> 00:16:10,267 It is a sad business, se�or. 233 00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,102 Death is always sad, 234 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:16,573 but when it comes to an old friend... 235 00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:19,776 Might I have a last glimpse of the dear departed? 236 00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:22,513 Oh, alas, the coffin is sealed. 237 00:16:31,989 --> 00:16:33,557 We meet again. 238 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,825 Small world, isn't it? 239 00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:37,894 Practically microscopic. 240 00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:40,097 What is it, Brutus? 241 00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:43,233 Our friend here likes to send telegrams to Washington. 242 00:16:44,569 --> 00:16:47,438 I can't help wondering why. 243 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,641 Let's find out. 244 00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:53,210 Why? 245 00:16:54,812 --> 00:16:57,614 Oh, I know you'll find out eventually. 246 00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,149 You see, I'm, um, 247 00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:01,385 I'm a secret service agent, 248 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,253 and I was wiring my home office 249 00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:05,222 for reinforcements. 250 00:17:07,225 --> 00:17:11,462 You have a remarkably unfunny sense of humor, sir. 251 00:17:17,368 --> 00:17:22,772 Pal, this your wreath? 252 00:17:22,774 --> 00:17:24,274 Yes. 253 00:17:26,077 --> 00:17:27,944 Paper flowers. 254 00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:31,215 Well, it was just a superficial relationship. 255 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,716 In spite of which, you yearn 256 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:36,019 for a final glimpse of the deceased. 257 00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:37,488 Does seem odd, doesn't it? 258 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:41,258 I think we should indulge our friend, 259 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,160 don't you? 260 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:12,889 We're scheduled to have a board meeting very shortly. 261 00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:16,293 I think our chairman would like to decide personally 262 00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:18,028 what to do about you. 263 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,463 You know what I think? 264 00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:21,165 I think I... 265 00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:25,569 set him on fire, 266 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:28,004 just to start him talking. 267 00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:31,508 Ahh- 268 00:18:58,336 --> 00:18:59,603 Just hold it right there. 269 00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:03,273 Do listen to him, sir. 270 00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:06,577 I can promise you you're going to die, 271 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,612 but if you listen, 272 00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:11,114 not immediately. 273 00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:47,711 You've been fighting again. 274 00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:49,513 We had visitor. 275 00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:53,717 You seem to have caused considerable havoc. 276 00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:57,287 I guess I'm just an active growing boy. 277 00:20:58,823 --> 00:20:59,823 Your name? 278 00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:01,958 James West. 279 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,126 And yours? 280 00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:06,029 I'll ask all the questions, Mr. West. 281 00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:07,864 Oh, come now. 282 00:21:07,866 --> 00:21:09,700 Turnabout's only fair play. 283 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:12,502 Laughing boy there says I'm going to die. 284 00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:14,404 I can assure you of that. 285 00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:16,039 First, let me introduce you 286 00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,709 to the gentlemen who will take care of this matter. 287 00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:19,676 Gallito, you know. 288 00:21:21,011 --> 00:21:23,347 On my right, Brutus. 289 00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:26,483 He dearly loves to smash things. 290 00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:28,418 And Cyrill, 291 00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:31,120 who loves to play with matches. 292 00:21:31,122 --> 00:21:33,923 Snakes Tolliver, an explosives expert, 293 00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:37,026 and Pinto, a very quiet gentleman, 294 00:21:37,028 --> 00:21:40,731 who has gone into considerable research in the area of pain. 295 00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:43,032 Inflicting it, of course. 296 00:21:43,034 --> 00:21:46,269 And, finally, Sergei from the steppes of Russia. 297 00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:48,304 He dearly loves to eat. 298 00:21:48,306 --> 00:21:51,140 Someday he'll swallow the whole world. 299 00:21:51,142 --> 00:21:53,577 Hope it won't give him indigestion. 300 00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:56,580 I'm delighted to meet you, gentlemen. 301 00:21:56,582 --> 00:21:58,281 What an innocent location 302 00:21:58,283 --> 00:22:00,817 for a summit conference of world crime. 303 00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:03,119 Justice, Nevada. 304 00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:07,023 Especially during Law and Order Week. 305 00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:08,958 The idea tickled my sense of humor. 306 00:22:10,227 --> 00:22:12,429 There's still one more introduction. 307 00:22:12,431 --> 00:22:15,799 I am Lucrece Posey, chairman of the board, 308 00:22:15,801 --> 00:22:18,034 and the first item of business 309 00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:20,336 will be to call this meeting- 310 00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:23,172 I'm touched. 311 00:22:23,174 --> 00:22:24,374 Is this for me? 312 00:22:26,411 --> 00:22:28,445 Chairman of the board should have a gavel. 313 00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:30,380 Everyone knows that. 314 00:22:30,382 --> 00:22:31,782 Use it in good health. 315 00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:33,850 Thank you, Snakes. 316 00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:36,787 I hereby call this meeting... 317 00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:42,826 You call the meeting to order, Snakes. 318 00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:47,631 Why me? I- I'm not the chairman. 319 00:22:47,633 --> 00:22:50,400 Brutus dear, 320 00:22:50,402 --> 00:22:54,203 put that wonderful glove of yours to work. 321 00:23:08,786 --> 00:23:11,555 You don't think I had anything to do with that, now, do you? 322 00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:14,724 Relax, Snakes. Stop cringing. Ow. Ah. 323 00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:16,860 Poor boy. 324 00:23:19,964 --> 00:23:21,331 Let us be seated, gentlemen. 325 00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:27,604 Remove the body, will you? 326 00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:32,943 Miss Lucrece Posey. 327 00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:36,680 Any relation to that other lovely lady, Lucrezia, 328 00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:39,282 that used a poison ring to such great effect? 329 00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:44,220 I hereby call this meeting to order, 330 00:23:44,222 --> 00:23:47,390 and the first order of business is to have you removed 331 00:23:47,392 --> 00:23:49,826 from the docket, Mr. West. 332 00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:19,857 Ta-da. 333 00:24:20,525 --> 00:24:22,192 Ascot Sam. 334 00:24:22,194 --> 00:24:24,194 In the flesh. 335 00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:27,097 It is you, isn't it? 336 00:24:27,099 --> 00:24:30,300 Well, it certainly ain't your kid brother Edith. 337 00:24:32,004 --> 00:24:33,003 Ascot Sam. 338 00:24:33,005 --> 00:24:34,270 Yes, dear lady? 339 00:24:34,272 --> 00:24:36,473 Brutus will perform the introductions later. 340 00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,408 Meanwhile, we have a little unfinished business 341 00:24:38,410 --> 00:24:39,476 to take care of. 342 00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,344 Of course, dear lady. 343 00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:47,618 Uh, hold it! 344 00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:50,387 Why? 345 00:24:51,088 --> 00:24:52,489 Why? 346 00:24:53,758 --> 00:24:55,125 Why? 347 00:24:55,127 --> 00:24:58,361 Because that's James West, that's why. 348 00:24:59,964 --> 00:25:04,367 That we know. So? 349 00:25:04,369 --> 00:25:05,836 So that's the guy in charge 350 00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:07,337 of the government's travel agency, 351 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:08,405 that's all. 352 00:25:09,642 --> 00:25:11,542 I still owe you a little vote of thanks 353 00:25:11,544 --> 00:25:13,977 for that free trip that you arranged for me 354 00:25:13,979 --> 00:25:15,779 up to Leavenworth, you no good- 355 00:25:15,781 --> 00:25:16,747 No. 356 00:25:25,489 --> 00:25:29,292 So you're the Mr. West, 357 00:25:29,294 --> 00:25:30,961 from the secret service, hmm? 358 00:25:30,963 --> 00:25:32,462 I tried to tell your boys that, 359 00:25:32,464 --> 00:25:33,830 but no one would listen. 360 00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:37,968 Mr. West, I have one question to put to you, 361 00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:40,070 but meanwhile, I'll fill you in 362 00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:42,606 with a little background material. 363 00:25:42,608 --> 00:25:46,810 We're living in an era of consolidation, 364 00:25:46,812 --> 00:25:49,179 amalgamation, centralization. 365 00:25:49,181 --> 00:25:52,049 Businesses large and small are merging, 366 00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:53,817 avoiding wasteful duplication. 367 00:25:53,819 --> 00:25:56,186 Dreary little nations are awakening 368 00:25:56,188 --> 00:25:58,822 to the advantages of combining their resources 369 00:25:58,824 --> 00:26:02,192 into one powerful super nation. 370 00:26:02,194 --> 00:26:04,327 But there's one element of society 371 00:26:04,329 --> 00:26:05,528 that has lagged behind 372 00:26:05,530 --> 00:26:08,999 in this plunge towards consolidation. 373 00:26:09,001 --> 00:26:10,500 Mr. West? 374 00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:12,202 Crime. 375 00:26:12,204 --> 00:26:14,537 Exactly. 376 00:26:24,582 --> 00:26:27,985 Every one of these dots represents a criminal apparatus, 377 00:26:27,987 --> 00:26:31,221 and there are thousands of them, each one separate 378 00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:32,522 from every other one, 379 00:26:32,524 --> 00:26:34,791 making it easy prey for the well-organized forces 380 00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:38,228 of law and order that surround them. 381 00:26:42,667 --> 00:26:44,635 And this is the way it could be, 382 00:26:44,637 --> 00:26:46,236 must be and will be. 383 00:26:46,238 --> 00:26:49,006 Six regional organizations. 384 00:26:49,008 --> 00:26:51,407 Each one directing, 385 00:26:51,409 --> 00:26:54,144 taking care of crime in each of its areas, 386 00:26:54,146 --> 00:26:55,846 each one combining to form 387 00:26:55,848 --> 00:27:00,083 a super crime cartel of the entire world. 388 00:27:00,085 --> 00:27:04,487 And these are the six regional leaders. 389 00:27:04,489 --> 00:27:06,823 I organized the plan, 390 00:27:06,825 --> 00:27:10,493 arranged to meet with them here, discussed details, 391 00:27:10,495 --> 00:27:13,063 and to see that our meeting was kept secret. 392 00:27:13,065 --> 00:27:17,267 Now my question is, who tipped you off? 393 00:27:17,269 --> 00:27:20,704 Do you mind repeating that last question? 394 00:27:20,706 --> 00:27:23,006 I said who tip- 395 00:27:23,008 --> 00:27:24,374 Why should I repeat it? 396 00:27:24,376 --> 00:27:26,509 Because when you say tipped, 397 00:27:26,511 --> 00:27:28,378 your nose crinkles adorably. 398 00:27:28,380 --> 00:27:29,846 Did you know that? 399 00:27:29,848 --> 00:27:31,114 Mr. West. 400 00:27:31,116 --> 00:27:32,849 And another point I'd like to make, 401 00:27:32,851 --> 00:27:35,518 if you'd quit hiding behind that tomboy outfit- 402 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,021 I mean really, you could be quite spectacular. 403 00:27:38,023 --> 00:27:41,324 Why don't you get yourself into something silky and soft 404 00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:43,694 and, uh- And revealing? 405 00:27:43,696 --> 00:27:47,998 I will give you one more chance, Mr. West, 406 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,135 to get back to my question. 407 00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:53,203 All right. 408 00:27:53,205 --> 00:27:56,306 You get the answer to your question, 409 00:27:56,308 --> 00:27:57,640 and I get what? 410 00:27:57,642 --> 00:28:01,678 One of Gallito's less lingering deaths. 411 00:28:04,982 --> 00:28:08,151 If that's the best you can do, 412 00:28:08,153 --> 00:28:10,821 I'll take it. 413 00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:15,125 The name of the fink, who tipped me off... 414 00:29:30,234 --> 00:29:32,735 The fink is... 415 00:29:39,010 --> 00:29:43,680 Sergei, Pinto, Mr. West is exhausted. 416 00:29:43,682 --> 00:29:46,316 See that he's cooled off properly. 417 00:29:48,186 --> 00:29:50,586 I will help them- Ah, ah. 418 00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:53,824 I'll inform you as to what you've missed. 419 00:31:04,029 --> 00:31:06,930 You know, Sergei, looking over this setup, 420 00:31:06,932 --> 00:31:11,101 gives me the idea of how to cool off this West fella, 421 00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:14,204 like he'll never be cooled off again. Heh, heh. 422 00:31:17,308 --> 00:31:22,379 You know, Brutus, uh, I am not the type guy 423 00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:25,115 to say that Miss Posey does not know her apples, 424 00:31:25,117 --> 00:31:26,449 but, uh... 425 00:31:28,019 --> 00:31:31,988 If it was up to me, I would not rest 426 00:31:31,990 --> 00:31:34,824 until I had found out who the fink is. 427 00:31:36,428 --> 00:31:39,595 Miss Posey is quite shrewd, Sam. 428 00:31:39,597 --> 00:31:42,665 She'll unearth the rascal, you can depend on it. 429 00:31:42,667 --> 00:31:45,468 Oh, I'm quite certain of that. 430 00:31:45,470 --> 00:31:47,203 I certainly hope so. 431 00:31:51,342 --> 00:31:53,410 Well, that was a nice workout. 432 00:31:57,282 --> 00:32:00,083 Why, cease and desist for a moment. 433 00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:03,153 I thought I heard a noise in that glove. 434 00:32:22,975 --> 00:32:25,408 You know, Sam, 435 00:32:25,410 --> 00:32:30,680 it's barely possible I may know who the fink is. 436 00:32:40,824 --> 00:32:44,995 Excuse me, amigos. Am I interrupting? 437 00:32:44,997 --> 00:32:46,429 Oh, no, no, no. 438 00:32:46,431 --> 00:32:49,632 Brutus here is just doing a little punching is all. 439 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:50,900 Well, then- 440 00:32:50,902 --> 00:32:52,869 Then please to continue. 441 00:33:04,615 --> 00:33:09,152 As the saying goes, "scratch one fink." 442 00:33:17,229 --> 00:33:18,761 I hope you appreciate now 443 00:33:18,763 --> 00:33:21,597 what an all-fired clever rig this is, Mr. West. 444 00:33:21,599 --> 00:33:22,932 I do, I do, 445 00:33:22,934 --> 00:33:24,934 but you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble. 446 00:33:24,936 --> 00:33:27,303 Oh, no. No, no. No trouble at all. 447 00:33:27,305 --> 00:33:28,571 No, heh. 448 00:33:28,573 --> 00:33:31,041 You see, these two 300-pound cakes of ice 449 00:33:31,043 --> 00:33:33,643 are being held in place by this- 450 00:33:33,645 --> 00:33:35,545 By this one rope. 451 00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:38,881 Now you'll notice this lamp here. 452 00:33:44,655 --> 00:33:49,159 Now I'm going to set the lamp right under the rope 453 00:33:49,161 --> 00:33:51,127 that's holding up them cakes of ice. 454 00:33:51,129 --> 00:33:52,395 I noticed that, too. 455 00:33:52,397 --> 00:33:53,996 A little too close to the rope, isn't it? 456 00:33:53,998 --> 00:33:56,799 Now you're beginning to get the big idea. 457 00:33:56,801 --> 00:33:59,436 You see, the lamp starts charring the rope, 458 00:33:59,438 --> 00:34:03,005 the rope starts partin', finally gives way, 459 00:34:03,007 --> 00:34:05,308 and down comes two big cakes of ice- 460 00:34:05,310 --> 00:34:07,177 Heh, heh, your own private glacier. 461 00:34:07,179 --> 00:34:08,978 right into your lap. 462 00:34:08,980 --> 00:34:11,147 You ought to patent that. 463 00:34:11,149 --> 00:34:14,284 Yep. Just might. Heh, heh. 464 00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:17,287 Well, I figure it'll be about 45 minutes 465 00:34:17,289 --> 00:34:19,789 before anything really interesting happens around here. 466 00:34:19,791 --> 00:34:22,292 I'll be back by then. 467 00:34:22,294 --> 00:34:24,094 Now you just take it easy. 468 00:34:24,096 --> 00:34:26,162 Relax, hear? Heh, heh, heh, heh. 469 00:34:37,641 --> 00:34:41,544 If there is anything that is distressing to me, Sergei, 470 00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:43,480 it's to have the knowledge 471 00:34:43,482 --> 00:34:46,249 that there is a fink in our midst. 472 00:34:48,319 --> 00:34:51,321 You are one hundred per cent right, Ascot. 473 00:34:51,323 --> 00:34:53,490 Maybe more. 474 00:34:53,492 --> 00:34:58,060 For our fink, death is too good. 475 00:34:58,062 --> 00:35:00,563 He should be slowly killed. 476 00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:03,099 Only question: 477 00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:05,335 Who is the one? 478 00:35:05,337 --> 00:35:08,938 Yeah, I must say, if there is a question, 479 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:10,273 that is the big one, all right. 480 00:35:12,543 --> 00:35:15,745 And, uh, Miss Posey does not seem inclined 481 00:35:15,747 --> 00:35:17,614 to determine who it is. 482 00:35:19,950 --> 00:35:24,687 Great jumpin' balls of Saint Elmo's fire. 483 00:35:25,823 --> 00:35:27,457 How did that happen? 484 00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:30,860 I will give you small hint. 485 00:35:30,862 --> 00:35:33,929 The one who did this likes to play with matches. 486 00:35:33,931 --> 00:35:35,131 He is a fink, 487 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:37,500 and his first name begin with Cyrill. 488 00:35:47,278 --> 00:35:49,646 As the saying goes, 489 00:35:49,648 --> 00:35:52,348 "scratch another fink." 490 00:36:51,041 --> 00:36:53,309 Now, where is everybody? 491 00:36:53,311 --> 00:36:55,445 You know I don't like this sort of thing. 492 00:36:55,447 --> 00:36:56,646 Where's Gallito? 493 00:36:56,648 --> 00:36:59,815 Poor chap had a most regrettable accident. 494 00:36:59,817 --> 00:37:01,784 And Cyrill? 495 00:37:01,786 --> 00:37:05,488 He had accident too. 496 00:37:05,490 --> 00:37:08,157 Now, look here. Once and for all, I- 497 00:37:11,328 --> 00:37:12,895 Da-da. 498 00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:14,964 Ascot Sam. 499 00:37:14,966 --> 00:37:18,000 Well, who else but? 500 00:37:20,170 --> 00:37:21,471 Aargh. 501 00:37:21,473 --> 00:37:24,674 Who's the big guy with the little laugh, lady? 502 00:37:24,676 --> 00:37:28,043 He claims to be Ascot Sam. 503 00:37:28,045 --> 00:37:29,078 Claims? 504 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,781 Now, Miss Posey, that word disturbs me 505 00:37:31,783 --> 00:37:33,416 a little bit more than somewhat. 506 00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:35,551 Now, let's settle this once and for all. 507 00:37:35,553 --> 00:37:37,787 Ascot Sam was plugged in the shoulder 508 00:37:37,789 --> 00:37:39,355 some years back, 509 00:37:39,357 --> 00:37:43,159 so let us see who has the scar. 510 00:38:07,051 --> 00:38:08,551 This is gonna be one of those days 511 00:38:08,553 --> 00:38:10,620 where nothing goes right. 512 00:38:58,001 --> 00:38:59,034 Jim. 513 00:39:09,012 --> 00:39:10,346 Boy, I can honestly say 514 00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:11,947 I am happy to see ya. 515 00:39:11,949 --> 00:39:14,149 And how do you feel about old Pinto? 516 00:41:38,094 --> 00:41:41,864 Law and Order Week. Come on out. 517 00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:43,933 Help celebrate. 518 00:41:43,935 --> 00:41:46,903 Let's not forget the big prize in this deal, Artie. 519 00:41:46,905 --> 00:41:49,271 Let's split and get Miss Posey. 520 00:41:49,273 --> 00:41:50,873 We'll go to the funeral parlor 521 00:41:50,875 --> 00:41:52,642 from different routes. 522 00:41:52,644 --> 00:41:53,809 Right. 523 00:41:53,811 --> 00:41:56,679 I kinda wish I had my gun with me. 524 00:41:56,681 --> 00:41:59,048 Makes a nice security symbol. 525 00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:00,683 Trouble with you is you're spoiled. 526 00:42:00,685 --> 00:42:01,784 Get goin'. 527 00:42:31,081 --> 00:42:33,415 Hey, what's going on here? 528 00:42:33,417 --> 00:42:34,516 Get down. 529 00:42:36,419 --> 00:42:39,455 Yeah, manhandling an officer of the law. 530 00:42:39,457 --> 00:42:41,356 You in big trouble, mister. 531 00:42:41,358 --> 00:42:43,325 Not as much as you're gonna be 532 00:42:43,327 --> 00:42:44,660 if you don't keep your head down. 533 00:42:45,730 --> 00:42:47,396 Oh, depriving an officer of the law 534 00:42:47,398 --> 00:42:48,831 of his legal weapons! 535 00:42:48,833 --> 00:42:52,101 You're diggin' your grave deeper, mister. 536 00:42:59,042 --> 00:43:01,410 That fella's shootin' real bullets. 537 00:43:01,412 --> 00:43:02,712 He sure is. 538 00:43:04,181 --> 00:43:06,548 What do you got in here? 539 00:43:06,550 --> 00:43:08,350 Blanks, of course. 540 00:43:28,605 --> 00:43:29,505 Brutus. 541 00:43:31,074 --> 00:43:33,575 Got four shots left that I can't miss from this range. 542 00:43:40,383 --> 00:43:43,019 If your finger moves, you're a dead man, Brutus. 543 00:43:55,999 --> 00:43:57,566 Hand that rifle to me. 544 00:45:02,132 --> 00:45:04,200 Hyah. 545 00:45:45,809 --> 00:45:48,644 Well, now. 546 00:45:48,646 --> 00:45:51,847 It was all your idea. Do you like it? 547 00:45:51,849 --> 00:45:53,415 Very nice. 548 00:45:55,185 --> 00:45:57,987 They're all gone, Miss Posey. 549 00:45:57,989 --> 00:46:02,424 Please call me Lucrece. Won't you, Jim? 550 00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:05,961 And you're the only one left. 551 00:46:05,963 --> 00:46:09,431 You've come for me, then, have you? 552 00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:11,600 Mm-hm. 553 00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:13,903 All right. 554 00:46:13,905 --> 00:46:16,872 Let a lady do a few last-minute things, 555 00:46:16,874 --> 00:46:17,973 will you, Jim? 556 00:46:17,975 --> 00:46:20,209 Why not? 557 00:46:20,211 --> 00:46:21,543 Thank you. 558 00:47:10,593 --> 00:47:11,760 Artie! 559 00:47:11,762 --> 00:47:13,662 Jim. 560 00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:15,764 The stagecoach. Did it leave? 561 00:47:15,766 --> 00:47:16,866 Yeah, off in a cloud of dust, 562 00:47:18,102 --> 00:47:20,469 and guess who was enlisted amongst the passengers. 563 00:47:20,471 --> 00:47:22,071 Oh, go on. Surprise me. 564 00:47:22,073 --> 00:47:23,072 Ascot Sam. 565 00:47:24,175 --> 00:47:26,141 I tell you, that man used every dirty, 566 00:47:26,143 --> 00:47:28,143 disabling trick in the books before I could mark him 567 00:47:28,145 --> 00:47:30,112 signed, sealed and delivered into the pokey. 568 00:47:30,114 --> 00:47:32,248 Artie, you didn't see an entrancing feminine thing 569 00:47:32,250 --> 00:47:33,282 board that stage, did you? 570 00:47:33,284 --> 00:47:34,884 It was in there. 571 00:47:34,886 --> 00:47:36,051 In fact, it was my pleasure 572 00:47:36,053 --> 00:47:37,652 to help the lovely creature aboard. 573 00:47:37,654 --> 00:47:40,489 That lovely creature was Miss Posey. 574 00:47:40,491 --> 00:47:42,824 Listen, some vacation. 575 00:47:42,826 --> 00:47:44,693 I'm gonna put a sign up outside my bedroom, 576 00:47:44,695 --> 00:47:46,295 "Do not disturb until Christmas." 577 00:47:46,297 --> 00:47:48,597 Crawl into that bed... 578 00:47:48,599 --> 00:47:49,798 Miss Posey? 579 00:47:54,637 --> 00:47:55,771 Hyah. 580 00:48:00,778 --> 00:48:04,079 Are you sure you don't wanna join us, Artie? 581 00:48:04,081 --> 00:48:06,215 Are you kidding? 582 00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:08,083 After five hours in that saddle 583 00:48:08,085 --> 00:48:09,818 just catching up with that stage? 584 00:48:11,923 --> 00:48:15,090 All I want now is a little rest and quiet, 585 00:48:15,092 --> 00:48:17,326 and darn little of that. 586 00:48:17,328 --> 00:48:18,560 Well, the important thing is 587 00:48:18,562 --> 00:48:20,462 Miss Posey's in the pokey, thanks to you. 588 00:48:20,464 --> 00:48:23,098 Oh, yeah. Three cheers for me. 589 00:48:23,100 --> 00:48:25,767 Artie, I think you might get 590 00:48:25,769 --> 00:48:28,437 some kind of commendation for it. 591 00:48:28,439 --> 00:48:30,105 Nah. 592 00:48:30,107 --> 00:48:31,941 Hey, you really think so? 593 00:48:31,943 --> 00:48:32,942 Well, of course. 594 00:48:32,944 --> 00:48:34,443 Miss Posey was a very dangerous- 595 00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:38,213 Speaking about commendations. 596 00:48:59,735 --> 00:49:02,404 Another assignment right away? 597 00:49:04,407 --> 00:49:07,977 Kucknik pass? 598 00:49:07,979 --> 00:49:12,247 That's six hours on a horse going just one way. 599 00:49:12,249 --> 00:49:16,785 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. 41266

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