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1
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,185
Okay, Grover,
this is it.
2
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:13,056
If the kicker misses,
we stay alive,
3
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,276
and those losers go home.
4
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:18,235
But... if he misses,
won't he feel sad?
5
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,324
Yeah, he'll be devastated.
6
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,587
It's my favorite part
of football.
7
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:26,330
Okay, here comes
the kick.
8
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,463
[exhaling sharply]
9
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:29,986
Yes! No good!
10
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,553
No good!
11
00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:32,771
Ha! That's so good!
12
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,469
Look at his...
look at his face.
13
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,123
Oh, what happened?
14
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:37,167
The kicker missed
the field goal.
15
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,039
Aw. He must feel so sad.
16
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,129
Is Tina still at church?
17
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,782
It's getting
kind of late.
18
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:45,480
Yeah, she's
on the selection committee
19
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,308
to choose a new pastor.
20
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,179
She really likes
this latest candidate.
21
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,747
Ooh, is he the "fire
and brimstone" type,
22
00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,749
or more of a hip,
guitar-playing dude
23
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:55,577
who's down with the G-O-D?
24
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:58,580
I haven't met him.
25
00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,017
But Tina spending Sundays
at church
26
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,933
lets this dude be down
with the NFL.
27
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:06,196
[chuckles] And if that's
not the Lord's work,
28
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,590
I don't know what is.
29
00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:10,374
[indistinct chatter, laughter]
30
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:11,636
Oh.
31
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:12,855
Hey, guys.
32
00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:14,509
This is Pastor Don.
33
00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:17,512
Pastor Don, this is
my lovely husband, Calvin,
34
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,035
our neighbor Dave
and his son Grover.
35
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,471
Hi. How are you?Hi.
36
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:21,777
It's nice to
meet you all.
37
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:24,127
So, uh...
38
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:27,478
what brings you by, Pastor,
39
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:30,873
just before
the late game starts?
40
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:33,658
Well, I invited him to join us
for Sunday dinner.
41
00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:35,399
[turns off TV]There.
42
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,923
Whoa, whoa, Tina,
what are you doing?
43
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,491
I didn't invite the pastor
over here to watch football.
44
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:42,406
I brought him here
to get to know us better.
45
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:45,496
Well, let me start
by letting you know
46
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:49,109
how much I love football.[turns on TV]
47
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:51,415
[chuckles]
Calvin.
48
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:53,417
Fine.
49
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,158
[turns off TV]Hey.
50
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:56,855
That's the same face
the kicker made.
51
00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:00,772
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
52
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:01,817
♪ Welcome to the hood.
53
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:08,693
So, Pastor Don,
congratulations
54
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,130
on your new job.
55
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,174
Or should I say...
56
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:12,654
"Job."
57
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:16,701
So, uh,
58
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:19,443
blasphemy's okay,
but I can't watch football?
59
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:23,055
You know, the truth is,
I-I don't have the job yet.
60
00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:24,144
I'm still on a trial run.
61
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:27,234
All right, everyone,
dinner is served.
62
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:30,672
All right. You know,
if we cut down on the chitchat,
63
00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:33,109
we can be done by halftime.
64
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,199
[chuckles] Okay, so, Pastor,
why don't you sit here
65
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,070
at the head of the table?
Right, Calvin?
66
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,598
Of course.
67
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,556
Well, here, take my seat.
I left it nice and warm for you.
68
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,692
Okay, so, Pastor Don,
69
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,563
would you do the honor
of saying grace?
70
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:54,304
My pleasure.Ah.
71
00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:57,960
Father God, we ask
that you bless this meal,
72
00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,614
everyone here,
73
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,355
and especially bless
74
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,660
Sister Tina,Mm-hmm.
75
00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,053
the one who made it.[giggles]
76
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:11,147
Can you throw in something
about my spelling test tomorrow?
77
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,018
[laughing]
78
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,455
Grover.
79
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,239
No, it's okay.
I like the boy's spirit.
80
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,936
Hey, you all should join us
at church on Sunday.
81
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,242
We'd love to!
82
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,939
Ooh, I've always
wanted to wear
83
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,985
one of those big
fancy church hats.
84
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:25,074
And now I finally have
a big fancy chance.
85
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:28,904
Ah, look at that,
table neighbor.
86
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:31,950
The Lord just keeps
bringing us together.
87
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,039
God is good.
88
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,434
Yes, He is.
89
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,871
No matter what Sister Rose said
about Him at Bible study.
90
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:41,351
[Tina and Pastor Don laugh]
91
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,092
Hey, what-what'd she say?
92
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:45,790
Oh, it's a long story.
93
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,401
You had to be there.
94
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:50,186
But your comeback
was hilarious.
95
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,883
[laughing]
96
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,711
Wha... What was your comeback?
97
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,279
[laughs]:
Oh...
98
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,150
Baby, you had to be there
for that, too.
99
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,458
Well, I'm glad Iwas.
100
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,460
Sister Rose was so embarrassed,
101
00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:05,288
she pretended
she was speaking in tongues.[laughs]
102
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,204
That... that's funny.
103
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,424
You know what it reminds me of,
104
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,513
is last week in the supermarket
when the checkout guy said,
105
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,254
"ketchup sauce."
106
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:16,038
[laughing]:
Remember that, Tina?
107
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:17,213
Uh-huh. That was funny, too.
108
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:21,391
[laughs]: Man,
I wish I was there.
109
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:22,958
Ah, "ketchup sauce."
110
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,003
That sounds hysterical.
111
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:29,007
You know, you all have
such a lovely home.
112
00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:31,314
How would you feel about
hosting Bible study here
113
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:32,707
this Thursday night?[gasps]
114
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,926
We'd love to!We would?
115
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:39,017
Yeah. I mean,
yeah, we would. Yeah.
116
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,154
Oh-ho-ho!
117
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,461
Ha-ha!Damn it!
118
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:50,507
It's like you knew I
was gonna do a fake punt.I did.
119
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:54,424
You literally just said,
"Watch this fake punt."
120
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:57,122
I was talking to my team.
Quit listening to my huddle!
121
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,169
[loud thumping]
122
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:01,562
Uh, what was that?
123
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:02,911
That's my new
upstairs neighbor.
124
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,216
[thumping continues]
125
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:06,131
Man, that has got
to be annoying.
126
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:07,524
Yeah, that's not all.
127
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,439
Yesterday he parked
his pickup truck
128
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,963
so close to my car,
I had to climb out
through the trunk.
129
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,965
Oh, man. Wait, do you
have security cameras
130
00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:16,881
in your garage?Oh, you mean so I
could show the landlord?
131
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:19,493
No. So I can watch you
squeeze your nerdy ass
out of that trunk.
132
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,190
[laughing]
133
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,019
Hey, Calvin.
134
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,890
Oh, hey, Gemma.
135
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:28,676
It was so nice getting to know
Pastor Don last night.
136
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:30,504
He's very charming.
137
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:31,722
Yeah, he's fine.
138
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:36,771
Uh-oh. That's the same "fine"
Dave's mom gave me
139
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:40,296
when I asked her how I looked
in my wedding dress.
140
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,299
You know, I just don't like
how chummy he is with Tina.
141
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,780
Did you see him
hold her hand at dinner?
142
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:48,304
Calvin, we were saying grace.
143
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,872
Well, did you see what he did
after dinner?
144
00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:53,875
What kind of pastor
drinks scotch?
145
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:56,094
You offered it to him.
146
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:58,358
As a test-- which he failed.
147
00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:01,578
I don't know,
148
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,580
this guy's up to no good.
149
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:05,887
Well, to be honest,
I know how you feel.
150
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,976
You do?Yeah.
151
00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:10,065
Women are always throwing
themselves at Dave.
152
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:14,243
Did you date another Dave
before this one?
153
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:19,814
I'm just saying, if your gut's
telling you something, trust it.
154
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,076
Yeah, you're right.
155
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:23,600
I need to keep an eye on him.
156
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:26,211
Hmm. It's not easy,
but it's the price we pay
157
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:28,213
for falling in love
with hotties.
158
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:32,217
All right.
159
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:35,090
Now, if I can trap him
into taking my bishop,
160
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,309
I can take his queen.
161
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,573
Ha! Now you're talking
to yourself.
162
00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:42,445
Actually, I was
talking to you.
163
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,578
Ha. Checkmate.
164
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,623
[chuckles]
165
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,277
[loud thumping]Yo, seriously,
166
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,453
you haven't taken care
of this cowboy yet?
167
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:51,933
I sure did.
I confronted the guy
168
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,108
and told him what's what.
169
00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,502
Oh, you did?Yes.
170
00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:57,547
Via a friendly note
I slid under his door.
171
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,331
But I think
172
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,726
the Starbucks gift card sent
quite a message.
173
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:05,468
Marty, you have backed down
from stuff your whole life.
174
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,949
Remember your first day at USC
when one of your professors
175
00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:10,125
called you Morty, and
you never corrected him?
176
00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,692
It wasn't that big a deal.
177
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,389
Your diploma says
Morton Butler!
178
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:17,132
[thumping continues]
179
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:23,834
Okay, Marty, I
could go upstairs
180
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,445
and take care of this
for your sorry ass.
181
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:28,535
Yes, that'd be great.
182
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:29,971
Come on, little bro,
183
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,581
you can't keep running
from your problems forever.
184
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:34,715
Think about it-- what
would Yoda tell you to do?
185
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,239
[sighs]
I guess he'd say...
186
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:39,371
[imitating Yoda]:
Confront him, you should.
187
00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:41,548
Exactly.
188
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,724
Then why are you
still standing here?
189
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,726
Because stalling, I am.
190
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,297
All right, everyone,
let's dig in and see
191
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,561
what the Lord has to say
about helping those in need.
192
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:56,476
But first,
what Ineed is another piece
193
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:59,043
of Sister Tina's
delicious peach cobbler.
194
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:00,654
Aw. Thank you, Pastor.
195
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:03,047
Ask and you shall receive.
196
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:05,180
[chuckles]:
Oh, thank you.
197
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:08,052
Hey, everybody.
Sorry I'm late.
198
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:09,706
Oh, baby,
what are you doing here?
199
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,012
I thought you were playing poker
with the guys.
200
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,883
I changed my mind.
201
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,756
Tonight
I'm betting it all on God.
202
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:17,758
[chuckles]
Well, Brother Calvin,
203
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,542
you came to the right place.
204
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:22,371
And you're sitting
in the wrong one.
Okay, come on.
205
00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:23,546
Oh. Sorry.
206
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:28,464
Now, to quote Jesus
after he rose from the dead:
207
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,161
"What'd I miss?"
208
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:41,085
I want to thank you both so
much for hosting tonight.
209
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,565
No. Thank you.
210
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,567
Your words were so inspiring.Oh, thank you.
211
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,526
Good stuff, now.
All right.
212
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:49,964
Thank you, Brother Calvin.
213
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,531
Sister Tina,
I'll see you Sunday morning.
214
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,054
Ooh, she'll be there.
215
00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:55,622
My wife-- 30 years, two kids!
216
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,189
Hmm.
217
00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,365
We might even have another one!
218
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,152
Calvin, what is wrong with you?
219
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:06,720
You were acting so weird
during Bible study.
220
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,591
Weird how?
221
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,507
Well, first of all,
you were atBible study.
222
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,337
All right, you want
to know the truth?
223
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:17,252
I don't like
this Pastor Don guy.
224
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:20,081
You know, I think
he got his eyes on you.
225
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,909
[scoffs] Oh,
please, Calvin.
226
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,737
He's just trying
to butter me up
227
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,086
because I'm
on the selection committee.
228
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:28,176
Nah, Tina. It's
more than that.
229
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,873
This guy's a snake
in our garden,
230
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:33,529
and he's trying to take a bite
of your apple.
231
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,967
You said that
about our dry cleaner,
232
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:38,839
the guy at the gas station,
233
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,580
and our dentist.
234
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,974
Well, he never told me
Ihad a beautiful smile.
235
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:48,631
You know, Calvin, I don't have
time for this, all right?
236
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,894
And for your information,
our dentist is gay.
237
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,768
His husband thinks you have
a beautiful smile.
238
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,294
You got this, okay?
You are the man,
239
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,601
and you are about to shut
this chump down.
240
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:06,214
[singsongy]:
Hello?
241
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,914
Hello.
242
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,220
Oh. Uh...
243
00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:15,136
H-Hi. Hi.
244
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:16,703
I-I-I'm...
245
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,095
I'm-I'm Morton.
I mean Morty.
246
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,532
I-I mean, I am, um,
247
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,578
Marty, your downstairs neighbor.[laughs]
248
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,971
I'm Keira.
249
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,581
Oh.
250
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,409
You're the guy
who left me that gift card.
251
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:28,932
That was so thoughtful.
252
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,891
Oh, it's no big deal.
You know, I would do it
253
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,153
for anyone who was on top of me.
254
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,545
I mean, uh,
255
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,112
I mean, under-underneath you.
I mean...
256
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,114
Ah... welcome
to the building.
257
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:38,376
[laughs]
258
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,422
Thanks.
259
00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:41,858
Hey, uh, actually,
260
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:43,555
if it's not too weird,
would you mind
261
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:44,426
helping me with something?
262
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,645
What? Are you kidding?
263
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,211
If it's weird, I'm into it.
264
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,735
I mean, uh,
265
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:52,608
uh, I would be...
I'd be happy to help.
266
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,176
I've been trying
to move furniture by myself.
267
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,960
Sorry if I was
a little loud.
268
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,962
Oh, not at all. In
fact, it was so quiet,
269
00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:00,747
I thought maybe a
mouse had moved in.
270
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,010
Are you calling me short?
271
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:05,708
What? No! No, I didn't
even notice your body.
272
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,449
Well, I mean, I
noticed your body.
273
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,451
[chuckles]
[scoffs]
274
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:10,713
So, you needed some
help with something?
275
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:12,323
Yeah.
276
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,325
Can you help me slide
this couch against the wall?
277
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:15,892
It's too heavy to lift.Oh...
278
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,241
Maybe it's too heavy
for you, but...
279
00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:18,329
Also for me.
280
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:19,940
[screams]
281
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:23,160
[muffled screaming]
282
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,728
Oh! I'm coming,
baby bro, I'm coming!
283
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,338
But I'm coming strapped!
284
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:33,170
♪ I'm gonna lay down my burden
285
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:35,346
♪ Down by the riverside...
286
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,087
What are you doing?
287
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:38,741
I'm prepping for church
with Calvin and Tina.
288
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,090
♪ Down by the riverside...
289
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:42,266
Why?
290
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:44,399
Well, because it's
gonna be different
291
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:46,357
from the church
that we go to,
292
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:47,881
and I want to be respectful.
293
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,274
Which is why I watched a
bunch of YouTube videos,
294
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:53,756
Sister Act,and
eight Madea movies.
295
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,585
Whoa!
296
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:59,849
Are you gonna do backflips
down the aisle like that nun?
297
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,940
[chuckles]
Grover, don't be silly.
298
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:06,116
She's 80. I'm gonna get
way more air than her.
299
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,989
[knock on door]
300
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,688
Oh, hey, Calvin.
301
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,559
Hey. Dave, is Gemma here?
302
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:16,779
I need her to talk some sense
into Tina.
303
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,303
Actually, she's at
a PTA meeting. What's going on?
304
00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:23,046
I'm pretty sure that Pastor Don
is making moves on Tina.
305
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,526
What?
306
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:25,919
Did something happen?
307
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,182
I mean, not exactly,
308
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:31,707
but he's made excuses to see
her every night this week.
309
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,449
"Let's go visit the elderly."
310
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:39,497
"Oh, come help me
feed the homeless."
311
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,632
I'm telling you,
he's a bad dude.
312
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,547
Okay.
313
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:49,507
Uh, oris it possible
what you're actually upset about
314
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,683
is that Pastor Don
is connecting with Tina
315
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,250
in a way that you're not?
316
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:55,296
[scoffs]
That's crazy.
317
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:59,604
Is it? Look, Tina's church life
is obviously important to her,
318
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:02,129
and maybe Pastor Don
is just filling a void
319
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,652
that you choose not to.
320
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,263
I don't know.
321
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,743
Maybe.
322
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,572
Remember, Calvin.
323
00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,792
"Don't judge
or you will be judged."
324
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,838
Wow, Dave.
325
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,797
I didn't know
you knew scripture so well.
326
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,582
Actually, I-I got that
from Whoopi Goldberg.
327
00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:25,587
I'm so sorry.
328
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,850
Is your foot okay?Oh, it's fine.
329
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,243
Pinky toes are totally cosmetic.
[chuckles]
330
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,462
[pounding on door]
331
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:34,596
Get your damn hands
off my brother, you...
332
00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,687
...surprisingly tiny lady.
333
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:41,429
Uh, Keira, this is
334
00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:43,561
my brother, Malcolm.
Malcolm, this is Keira.
335
00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,172
[chuckles]:
Hey. Oh,
336
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,738
so you're the one who's...
337
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,871
Drives the really cool truck
I've been telling you about.
338
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:51,874
Nice to meet you.Yeah.
339
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:52,962
What's with the rocket?
340
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:55,747
Oh. Um, it's a, uh...
341
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:58,315
a housewarming gift.
[chuckles]
342
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,013
Right, Marty?
343
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,405
Uh, yep.
344
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:04,756
Yep. Uh, signed by Buzz Aldrin
and everything.
345
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,890
[chuckles]
Well, thank you.
346
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:10,893
Hey, you guys
are my first houseguests.
347
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:13,113
Let me get some beers
to celebrate.MALCOLM: Okay.
348
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:14,766
[chuckles]
349
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,944
She is cute.
350
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,424
Yeah, I know. Thank you
for making me come up here.[chuckles]
351
00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:22,774
Yeah, you see what happens
when you stand up for yourself?
352
00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:25,560
[exhales] Yeah, man. In
fact, I'm gonna do it now.
353
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:26,735
Get the hell out of here.
354
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:29,694
["I Need Thee Every Hour"
playing]
355
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:34,134
♪ I need thee
356
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:42,142
♪ Every hour...
357
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:45,101
All right, buddy. Now,
remember, we're guests here,
358
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:49,105
so let's be respectful
and just try to blend in.
359
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:58,593
Oh, my God.
Look at all these hats.
360
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,551
I knew I shouldn't have gotten
the small one.
361
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,338
Okay, I'm warning you, Calvin.
362
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:07,558
You better not embarrass me
in front of Pastor Don.[sighs]
363
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:10,344
Don't worry, I won't.
364
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,868
I think maybe I was...
365
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,304
wrong about him.
366
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:17,829
Wait, did you just admit
to being wrong?
367
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:20,832
Okay, God, a deal's a deal.
I'm-a stop cursing.
368
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,878
[chuckles]
369
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,749
Hey, uh,
370
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,316
I'm-a catch up with
you in a second.
371
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,710
Okay, baby.Brother Calvin,
good to see you.
372
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,842
Are the Rams not playing today?
373
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:35,325
Well, I decided that
this was more important.
374
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,110
Plus, it's a night game.
375
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,764
Listen,
376
00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:41,679
I... I just wanted
to apologize
377
00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,681
about my behavior
at Bible study.
378
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:47,555
The truth is is that
I had this crazy idea
379
00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:50,645
that you was making
moves on my wife.
380
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:51,994
You did?
381
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,562
Yeah, you know how
us guys can be.
382
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,564
Yeah.[laughs] Well, you have
nothing to apologize for.
383
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:58,087
I completely understand.
384
00:15:58,131 --> 00:15:59,654
Thanks, Pastor.
385
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:02,483
After all, Sister Tina's
a very attractive woman.
386
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,184
Excuse me?
387
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:09,751
As scripture says,
388
00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:13,015
"He who finds a good wife
finds a good thing."
389
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,670
Obviously,
Tina's a good wife,
390
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:18,542
but I'm more interested
in the bad ones.
391
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,595
You heard that, right?
392
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:33,688
[vocalizing]
393
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:36,996
♪ Bless
394
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,563
♪ Me now
395
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:44,829
♪ My savior...
396
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:47,267
[muttering]
397
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:48,833
Calvin.
398
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,618
What is wrong with you?
399
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,272
I'm talking to God.
400
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,708
I got a complaint about one
401
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:56,058
of his employees.
402
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:59,061
♪ To
403
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:03,326
♪ Thee.
404
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:06,068
Good morning, church.
405
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,505
Morning.Is it?
406
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:13,206
Today's message comes
from the Book of Revelations.
407
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,598
You got that right.
408
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:20,561
Now, everyone in here knows
that God sees everything.
409
00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,911
CONGREGATION:
Mm-hmm. Amen.I see your ass.
410
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:29,265
Which is why we must stay
vigilant against temptation.
411
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:30,571
That's right.
412
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:34,314
Walk the righteous path
and cast out
413
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:35,793
those who lead us astray.
414
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,708
No way. I heard enough.
415
00:17:37,752 --> 00:17:39,101
I need to testify.
416
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:41,843
Let Him use you, Calvin!
417
00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:49,285
Brother Calvin,
I appreciate your enthusiasm,
418
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:52,027
but we normally don't testify
until the end of the service.
419
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,334
Yeah, well, today is different,
420
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:57,728
'cause there is a devil
among us.
421
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:01,036
Thank you,
Brother Calvin.
422
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,343
We'll look into that. Now,
if you open your Bibles to...
423
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:05,084
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, I'm not done.
424
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,827
We are in the presence
of a false prophet.
425
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:13,048
A wolf in sheep's clothing.
426
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:17,226
A man who covets
other men's wives.
427
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,272
And I know that commandment
is important
428
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:21,448
'cause it made the top ten list.
429
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:26,322
And that man's name...
430
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,545
...is Pastor Don.
431
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,155
[congregation gasps]
432
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,592
Let your light shine, Calvin!
433
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,554
Did you watch
Sister Actagain?
434
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:43,861
If loving Whoopi is wrong,
I don't want to be right.
435
00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:47,082
Forgive Brother Calvin.
436
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,692
He knows not what he says.
437
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:50,955
I'm a man of deep faith
438
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,741
who respects the sanctity
of marriage. I would never...
439
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,569
Hold up!
440
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,136
You got other women on the side?
441
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:02,315
You told me I was the only woman
you were checking for.
442
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:07,015
Oh, so you just laying hands
on everybody?
443
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:08,973
Uh...
444
00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:12,368
Unless you ready
to meet the Lord,
445
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,109
I suggest you get out of here
right now.
446
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,242
Because, uh,
this ain't the first fight
447
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:18,157
Wanda's had at church.
448
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,202
I-I'm-a... I'm-a...
449
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,378
[chuckles]:
Oh-ho.
450
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,467
Uh-oh!
451
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,991
Only God can save him now.
452
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,689
CONGREGATION:
Amen.
453
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,436
♪ Victory is mine
454
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,655
♪ Victory
is mine ♪
455
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:42,529
♪ Victory today is mine
456
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:44,095
♪ I told Satan...
457
00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:46,968
This church is awesome.I know.
458
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:49,057
As soon as we get home,
I'm going hat shopping.
459
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,798
And this time,
460
00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:53,104
I'm going big.
461
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:56,325
Speaking of going big,
give me some room.
462
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:57,935
It's backflipping time.
463
00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:00,286
Uh... Oh.
464
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,375
Babe, you doing okay?
465
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:03,985
Are you kidding?
466
00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:05,769
Look at all
of these good people
467
00:20:05,813 --> 00:20:07,118
rejoicing
in the Lord, Calvin.
468
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:09,208
Thatis church.
469
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,558
[chuckles]Amen to that.
470
00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:13,995
Hey, you got to
admit, though.
471
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,563
I was the only one that knew
that Pastor Don was a snake.
472
00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:18,826
Baby, you sure were.[chuckles]
473
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:20,828
Which is why
you're the newest member
474
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,482
of our pastor
selection committee.
475
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,440
Yeah.
476
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:27,661
Huh?We meet on, uh, Sundays,
Mondays and Thursdays.
477
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,489
[chuckles]
478
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,491
Those are all my
football days.
479
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:33,101
Take it up with God.
480
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,929
♪ Victory
481
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:37,192
♪ Today is mine
482
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,542
[loud crashing]
483
00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:41,327
Oh! Oh!
484
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:47,811
It's okay.
I'm all... I'm all right.
485
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:50,074
The drums broke my fall.
486
00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,815
["Victory Is Mine" playing]
487
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,426
♪ Victory is mine
488
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:56,298
♪ Victory is mine ♪ Victory
489
00:20:56,342 --> 00:21:00,563
♪ Victory today is mine.
490
00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:08,832
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
491
00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:11,444
Captioned by
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access.wgbh.org
34356
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