All language subtitles for The Bob Newhart Show s04e19 - My Boy Guillermo
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1
00:01:09,389 --> 00:01:11,562
- Morning, Carol. ls Bob in?
- Yeah.
2
00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:14,071
Love your purse.
3
00:01:14,127 --> 00:01:16,266
It's not a purse.
It's a shoulder satchel.
4
00:01:16,329 --> 00:01:18,775
Oh, well, mine's a purse.
5
00:01:18,832 --> 00:01:22,575
It's nothing like mine.
Mine has got, eh, my initials.
6
00:01:22,636 --> 00:01:25,913
Oh, good. Then we won't get 'em
mixed up in the powder room.
7
00:01:32,746 --> 00:01:35,226
Bob, I'm lonely.
8
00:01:35,282 --> 00:01:38,161
I'm lonely, and I'm old.
9
00:01:39,553 --> 00:01:42,534
You're certainly dressing young.
10
00:01:42,589 --> 00:01:45,263
I know you got this image of me
asjerry Robinson...
11
00:01:45,325 --> 00:01:48,169
the happy-go-lucky,
devil-may-care playboy swinger.
12
00:01:48,228 --> 00:01:50,174
No, I don't.
13
00:01:50,230 --> 00:01:52,369
Underneath this suave veneer...
14
00:01:52,432 --> 00:01:54,912
I'm lonely, I'm old.
15
00:01:54,968 --> 00:01:58,006
Jerry, you're 37 years old.
16
00:01:58,071 --> 00:02:02,349
Now, that's, uh, still young.
17
00:02:02,409 --> 00:02:04,650
I go home to an empty garret.
18
00:02:04,711 --> 00:02:08,454
Nobody there.
Four walls. Bare lightbulb.
19
00:02:08,515 --> 00:02:10,426
Oh, you got a lightbulb.
20
00:02:10,483 --> 00:02:14,363
Do you know how long it's been since I've had
a meaningful relationship with a girl, Bob?
21
00:02:14,421 --> 00:02:16,458
I'm sure it hasn't been that long,jerry.
22
00:02:16,523 --> 00:02:20,369
I haven't been serious about anyone since
Courtney Simpson. Remember Courtney?
23
00:02:20,427 --> 00:02:23,135
Sure, I remember Courtney.
She was- She was beautiful.
24
00:02:23,196 --> 00:02:28,202
- Beautiful? She was gorgeous!
- SorryJerry. I didn't mean to put her down.
25
00:02:28,268 --> 00:02:31,181
Courtney Simpson is
the most exciting woman I ever met.
26
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:33,946
- Why don't you try to get in touch with her?
- How can I do that?
27
00:02:34,007 --> 00:02:36,214
Write a letter to Courtney Simpson
in care of the wind?
28
00:02:36,276 --> 00:02:38,984
- She's still traveling around the world?
- Yeah.
29
00:02:39,045 --> 00:02:42,458
She's a finely tuned race car,
Bob, speeding through life.
30
00:02:42,515 --> 00:02:44,961
I'm just an occasional pit stop.
31
00:02:45,018 --> 00:02:48,465
Jerry, do you realize there are three girls
for every guy in Chicago?
32
00:02:48,521 --> 00:02:50,831
Yeah, but I don't like my three.
33
00:02:52,926 --> 00:02:55,736
Jerry, you'll be fine
as soon as you find another girl.
34
00:02:55,795 --> 00:02:58,298
Bob, I don't think
that girls are the answer.
35
00:02:58,365 --> 00:03:02,677
Looking back, I find that the longest-lasting
relationships I've had have been with guys.
36
00:03:08,708 --> 00:03:11,917
Don't, uh-
Don't give up on girls yetjerry.
37
00:03:11,978 --> 00:03:15,482
You know what I mean.
The things I really love doing, I do with men.
38
00:03:15,548 --> 00:03:17,494
You know, guy things.
39
00:03:17,550 --> 00:03:19,496
What, uh-
40
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,666
What kind of guy things?
41
00:03:22,722 --> 00:03:27,535
Well, uh, I mean,you know,
handball, poker, tennis, cussing.
42
00:03:27,594 --> 00:03:30,871
If I had to choose between having lunch
with you or a beautiful blonde...
43
00:03:30,931 --> 00:03:32,877
I'd choose you.
44
00:03:32,933 --> 00:03:35,106
Well, fine. I'm free for lunch.
45
00:03:35,168 --> 00:03:39,207
Why don't we go early,
and we'll have a lot of time for cussing.
46
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,288
Okay, Bob. I'll see you later.
47
00:03:43,343 --> 00:03:47,052
Yeah, I'll see you at a quarter to I 2:00,
Jerry. And I'll buy.
48
00:03:47,113 --> 00:03:51,186
- Fine.
- That way you won't have to bring your purse.
49
00:03:59,092 --> 00:04:03,097
I'm worried aboutjerry.
He's not- He's not like himself.
50
00:04:03,163 --> 00:04:05,609
Nothin' wrong with that.
51
00:04:05,665 --> 00:04:07,975
No, I mean, uh,
I just saw him play...
52
00:04:08,034 --> 00:04:10,378
the worst handball game
he's ever played in his life.
53
00:04:10,437 --> 00:04:12,713
Well, honey,
he can't win every game.
54
00:04:12,772 --> 00:04:14,774
Oh, he still won.
55
00:04:16,276 --> 00:04:18,483
After he won, he didn't gloat.
56
00:04:18,545 --> 00:04:21,048
Gee, you sure you were
playing withjerry?
57
00:04:21,114 --> 00:04:23,526
Yeah, tall guy with a purse?
58
00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:26,496
I think he's depressed 'cause he
doesn't have a girlfriend right now...
59
00:04:26,553 --> 00:04:28,499
and he thinks he'll never find one.
60
00:04:28,555 --> 00:04:32,093
That's his own fault. I must have
fixed him up with a dozen girls.
61
00:04:32,158 --> 00:04:36,334
Yeah, I know.
Jerry calls them the Dirty Dozen.
62
00:04:36,396 --> 00:04:39,275
Some of those girls
were very attractive.
63
00:04:39,332 --> 00:04:42,313
When?
64
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:45,316
Bob, what doesjerry want?
He expects every girl to be perfect.
65
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:48,410
I mean, not everybody can be
as lucky as you were, Bob.
66
00:04:49,409 --> 00:04:51,753
Hey, Bob? Emily?
67
00:04:51,811 --> 00:04:54,314
I just won a magic kit,
and you'll never guess where!
68
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:57,362
Why should we try?
69
00:04:57,417 --> 00:04:59,419
I won it at the gas station.
70
00:04:59,486 --> 00:05:02,990
All I had to do was have my tank filled,
my oil changed...
71
00:05:03,056 --> 00:05:06,833
and, uh, a lubejob
and new points and new plugs.
72
00:05:06,893 --> 00:05:08,770
Were you gonna
have that done anyhow?
73
00:05:08,828 --> 00:05:11,638
No, I just stopped in
to go to the bathroom.
74
00:05:11,698 --> 00:05:14,941
Oh, this brings back fond memories.
75
00:05:15,001 --> 00:05:18,505
You know, when I was a kid,
I had a cape and a top hat.
76
00:05:18,571 --> 00:05:21,643
You must have been
a well-dressed kid.
77
00:05:21,708 --> 00:05:24,712
No, I wore it when I performed,
Howard.
78
00:05:24,778 --> 00:05:26,724
- 0/1.
- I had a magic act.
79
00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:30,694
They used to call me
Bob Hartley, man of mystery.
80
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:33,856
[Chuckles]
I still call him that.
81
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:37,299
Well, I, uh, only know one trick.
82
00:05:37,357 --> 00:05:39,359
My grandmother taught me this.
83
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:42,635
She used to play cards in Las Vegas,
but they caught her cheating.
84
00:05:42,695 --> 00:05:45,369
Then they made her a dealer.
85
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,246
All right now, uh...
86
00:05:49,302 --> 00:05:51,805
pick a card.
87
00:05:51,871 --> 00:05:54,078
Okay? Okay-
88
00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:56,916
Now, uh, put it back in.
89
00:05:58,144 --> 00:06:00,249
- Got it back in?
-Yeah.
90
00:06:00,313 --> 00:06:03,317
Okay. Watch this.
91
00:06:03,383 --> 00:06:05,454
At no time...
92
00:06:05,518 --> 00:06:08,124
does my hand leave my arm.
93
00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:24,075
It didn't work.
94
00:06:24,137 --> 00:06:26,014
Why don't you try it again?
95
00:06:26,072 --> 00:06:29,485
No, you already know the trick.
96
00:06:34,714 --> 00:06:37,422
- Good night,jer. Have a nice evening.
- Yeah, it'll be great.
97
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:40,624
Open up a can of beans,
toss a frozen dinner in the oven.
98
00:06:40,687 --> 00:06:43,327
Oh! That's what
I'm making for Larry.
99
00:06:43,389 --> 00:06:45,892
- At least you're defrosting for two.
- Ah,jer.
100
00:06:45,959 --> 00:06:49,031
I know how you feel.
I was lonely before I got married.
101
00:06:49,095 --> 00:06:52,599
I can understand you being lonely,
but me?
102
00:06:52,665 --> 00:06:54,736
Yeah. It's hard to figure.
103
00:07:00,740 --> 00:07:03,243
- Oh, you leaving too?
- Yeah. See you tomorrowJerry.
104
00:07:03,309 --> 00:07:06,313
Yeah, in another 14 lonely hours.
105
00:07:06,379 --> 00:07:09,053
Come on,jerry.
It isn't bad as all that.
106
00:07:09,115 --> 00:07:12,790
- I'm sure the sun will shine tomorrow.
- On everybody but me.
107
00:07:12,852 --> 00:07:14,854
I tell you whatjerry.
Why don't you get a date?
108
00:07:14,921 --> 00:07:17,424
You come with Emily and me tonight.
We're gonna go see Hamlet.
109
00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:20,630
I've seen Hamlet. It is depressing.
110
00:07:20,693 --> 00:07:25,301
This one is different.
It starsjack Kiugman and Tony Randall.
111
00:07:25,365 --> 00:07:29,006
- Supposed to be the funniest Hamlet ever.
- I don't feel like laughing.
112
00:07:29,068 --> 00:07:32,777
Yeah, why don't you
hang around the morgue?
113
00:07:32,839 --> 00:07:35,012
- [ Elevator Bell Dings]
- You go on, Bob. I'll be okay.
114
00:07:35,074 --> 00:07:37,145
Maybe I'll see if I can get a date.
115
00:07:37,210 --> 00:07:40,453
Listen, it's not too late to get Emily
to fix you up with a date.
116
00:07:40,513 --> 00:07:43,494
Ah, that's right.
You don't feel like laughing, do you?
117
00:07:50,757 --> 00:07:52,703
[Sighs]
118
00:07:58,731 --> 00:08:01,644
Oh, hi, Linda?
This isjerry Robinson.
119
00:08:01,701 --> 00:08:04,648
Uh, you don't want to go out
with me tonight, do you?
120
00:08:04,704 --> 00:08:06,650
You do.
121
00:08:06,706 --> 00:08:10,176
Well, uh, I forgot
how to get to your house.
122
00:08:10,243 --> 00:08:12,416
No, I don't have a pencil with me.
123
00:08:12,478 --> 00:08:14,480
My car is low on gas anyway.
124
00:08:16,616 --> 00:08:20,223
Okay, okay! If you insist, you can
pick me up in an hour and buy me a drink.
125
00:08:20,286 --> 00:08:22,596
Sure. Think nothing of it.
126
00:08:29,562 --> 00:08:32,475
[Elevator Bell Dings]
127
00:08:32,532 --> 00:08:34,534
- HLJerry.
- Hi, Courtney.
128
00:08:36,269 --> 00:08:38,215
- Courtney!
- [Banging]
129
00:08:45,645 --> 00:08:48,057
Courtney!
130
00:08:48,114 --> 00:08:50,060
- Hiya,jer.
- Courtney!
131
00:08:50,116 --> 00:08:53,757
- Yeah, it's me.
- I don't believe it. What are you doing here?
132
00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:56,596
I don't know. The elevator
just seemed to stop at this floor.
133
00:08:56,656 --> 00:08:58,932
You mean you came from wherever
you werejust to see me?
134
00:08:58,992 --> 00:09:03,941
-I guess I did.
- Oh, Courtney, it's you. Isn't it?
135
00:09:03,997 --> 00:09:07,001
- How are you anyway?
- Me? Oh, I'm fine.
136
00:09:07,066 --> 00:09:09,342
Great. Couldn't be better.
[Chuckles]
137
00:09:09,402 --> 00:09:12,178
'JQFQ; I lO s _ Huh?
You.
138
00:09:13,506 --> 00:09:15,543
I want to marryyou.
139
00:09:15,608 --> 00:09:19,249
- Oh, my God.
- Does that mean yes?
140
00:09:19,312 --> 00:09:22,555
Look, uh, Courtney, you'rejust
not puttin' me on here, are you?
141
00:09:22,615 --> 00:09:25,687
If I say yes, you're not gonna go
flitting off to some other country?
142
00:09:25,752 --> 00:09:29,131
No,jerry, no.
I want to be with you.
143
00:09:29,188 --> 00:09:31,429
So, uh, what do you say?
144
00:09:33,526 --> 00:09:36,029
Yes?
145
00:09:37,630 --> 00:09:40,804
There is just one little thing
you should know.
146
00:09:40,867 --> 00:09:43,780
- There's someone else.
- Huh?
147
00:09:46,072 --> 00:09:49,485
Oh, okay. I mean, this is the I 970s.
I could live with that.
148
00:09:49,542 --> 00:09:53,217
- No, no! I mean, I have a son.
- Since when?
149
00:09:53,279 --> 00:09:56,419
Well, he's going to be my son as soon
as the adoption papers come through.
150
00:09:56,482 --> 00:09:58,484
- You're gonna adopt a son?
- Yeah.
151
00:09:58,551 --> 00:10:03,057
- And I- I want you to be his father.
- Wow. Me, a father?
152
00:10:03,122 --> 00:10:06,592
That could be nice though.
Jerry Robinsonjr.
153
00:10:06,659 --> 00:10:09,230
Well, he already has a name.
It's Guillermo.
154
00:10:09,295 --> 00:10:13,300
Jerry, he's the cutest little Spanish
eight-year-old kid you ever want to meet.
155
00:10:14,434 --> 00:10:16,778
Guillermo Robinson?
156
00:10:16,836 --> 00:10:19,112
Maybe the kids will call him Robby.
157
00:10:19,172 --> 00:10:21,243
Well, what do you think?
158
00:10:21,307 --> 00:10:25,346
I can't believe it. I'm gonna get married
and I'm gonna have a son.
159
00:10:25,411 --> 00:10:27,857
Oh, let's go out and celebrate!
160
00:10:27,914 --> 00:10:30,827
Gee, l-l'd love to, but, um-
161
00:10:30,883 --> 00:10:33,989
uh, I've got a date.
162
00:10:34,053 --> 00:10:37,830
Break it. I can, uh,
really make it worth your while.
163
00:10:39,592 --> 00:10:42,596
Excuse me.
I'll just make a phone call.
164
00:10:52,271 --> 00:10:54,774
Ah, Guillermo and I
are gonna get alongjust great...
165
00:10:54,841 --> 00:10:57,617
because we can swap
orphanage stories.
166
00:10:57,677 --> 00:10:59,850
Except his will be in Spanish.
167
00:10:59,912 --> 00:11:03,086
Doesn't matter.
“Orphanese“ is a universal language.
168
00:11:03,149 --> 00:11:07,825
When one orphan says, “Pass the gruel,“
all the orphans understand.
169
00:11:07,887 --> 00:11:10,390
You poor baby.
170
00:11:10,456 --> 00:11:12,629
[Knocking]
171
00:11:12,692 --> 00:11:14,694
Emily}
We're here!
172
00:11:23,302 --> 00:11:25,373
[Knocking Louder]
173
00:11:32,545 --> 00:11:35,219
- Hi! Hi. How are you?
Jerry! Oh, hi, Courtney.
174
00:11:35,281 --> 00:11:37,852
- Oh, congratulations. I'm so happy for you.
- Thank you.
175
00:11:37,917 --> 00:11:39,863
- Hi, Bob.
- Hi.
176
00:11:39,919 --> 00:11:41,899
Doesn't Courtney look beautiful?
177
00:11:41,954 --> 00:11:43,934
Beautiful? She looks gorgeous.
178
00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:45,936
Right.
179
00:11:52,932 --> 00:11:56,004
- Thanks. I think we will sit down.
- Yeah.
180
00:11:56,068 --> 00:11:58,014
Thank you.
181
00:11:59,205 --> 00:12:02,414
My! What is it that, uh-
182
00:12:02,475 --> 00:12:04,978
that smells so good?
183
00:12:05,044 --> 00:12:07,046
I don't know.
184
00:12:10,483 --> 00:12:13,225
Did you, uh-
Did you lock your side of the car?
185
00:12:13,286 --> 00:12:15,232
Yeah.
186
00:12:17,757 --> 00:12:21,728
Good, because I left my briefcase
on the backseat.
187
00:12:21,794 --> 00:12:24,798
Oh. Well, uh, why don't you
go down and get it?
188
00:12:24,864 --> 00:12:27,606
Maybe you could do some work.
189
00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:30,671
Uh-oh, my Salzfleisch is burning.
190
00:12:30,736 --> 00:12:32,909
I don't doubt it.
191
00:12:32,972 --> 00:12:35,578
- Uh, what's Salzfleisch?
- It's, uh, baked pork.
192
00:12:35,641 --> 00:12:38,281
Courtney's been cooking up a storm.
Foods from all over the world.
193
00:12:38,344 --> 00:12:41,484
- I hope you like Salzfleisch.
- Who doesn't like Salzfleisch?
194
00:12:41,547 --> 00:12:43,823
Can you take thisJer?
195
00:12:52,024 --> 00:12:55,767
- Any, uh- Any mail today?
- Yeah.
196
00:12:55,828 --> 00:12:59,867
There was a bill from Marshall Field's
and, uh, from the auto repair shop.
197
00:12:59,932 --> 00:13:02,435
- And then there was a letter from my sister.
- Oh.
198
00:13:02,502 --> 00:13:06,507
Yeah. She'd, uh- She'd like
to hear from you sometime.
199
00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:10,452
Well, I could write her back right now.
200
00:13:10,510 --> 00:13:13,320
' Okay!
' Okay
201
00:13:13,379 --> 00:13:16,053
Jerry has the Salzfleisch
from Austria...
202
00:13:16,115 --> 00:13:18,061
the snout and eggs from Laos...
203
00:13:18,117 --> 00:13:20,119
and here's the chufio from Bolivia.
204
00:13:20,186 --> 00:13:24,794
- You're kidding.
- Okay. Where do you want to start, Bob?
205
00:13:24,857 --> 00:13:29,363
- Did you say snout?
- That's right- snout, all the way from Laos.
206
00:13:29,428 --> 00:13:32,375
Really, you make it a tough decision.
207
00:13:32,431 --> 00:13:35,105
- Uh, what is chufio?
- Potatoes.
208
00:13:35,167 --> 00:13:38,842
- They're- They're black.
- The Bolivians stomp 'em with their feet.
209
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,647
When theyrejust right,
they take them up to the mountains...
210
00:13:41,707 --> 00:13:44,210
so that they can freeze,
and that's when they turn black.
211
00:13:44,277 --> 00:13:46,780
Really shouldn't have gone
to all that trouble.
212
00:13:46,846 --> 00:13:49,520
Okay, everybody. Dig in.
213
00:13:49,582 --> 00:13:52,529
Wait a minute.
In Bolivia, there is a tradition...
214
00:13:52,585 --> 00:13:55,589
that the oldest person on the hill
take the first bite.
215
00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:57,862
Oh.
216
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:03,334
Oh, it's your ball game, Emily.
217
00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:07,702
- Nice try, Bob.
- Go ahead, Bob.
218
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:11,237
Uh, first I'd like, uh-
219
00:14:11,304 --> 00:14:13,341
like to propose a toast...
220
00:14:13,406 --> 00:14:16,819
to, uh- to Courtney and tojerry.
221
00:14:16,876 --> 00:14:20,119
Mayyourwedding start
the beginning of many happyyears.
222
00:14:20,179 --> 00:14:22,682
- Thank you.
- To Courtney andjerry.
223
00:14:24,717 --> 00:14:26,663
Ah. Okay.
224
00:14:28,888 --> 00:14:31,368
And, uh...
225
00:14:31,424 --> 00:14:33,665
let's not forget Guillermo.
226
00:14:33,726 --> 00:14:35,672
- Guillermo!
- Oh, to Guillermo!
227
00:14:35,728 --> 00:14:37,674
Thank you.
228
00:14:39,665 --> 00:14:41,611
[Jerry Sighs]
229
00:14:42,802 --> 00:14:46,579
And, uh, to a lovely apartment.
230
00:14:46,639 --> 00:14:48,846
You've been here before.
231
00:14:48,908 --> 00:14:51,548
I know, but I've always felt bad
about not toasting it.
232
00:14:51,611 --> 00:14:53,557
To the apartment.
233
00:14:53,613 --> 00:14:55,615
- The apartment.
- Thank you.
234
00:14:59,752 --> 00:15:04,258
Would you like to throw in a toast
to the Green Bay Packers?
235
00:15:04,323 --> 00:15:06,325
Yeah, what the heck?
236
00:15:09,695 --> 00:15:12,198
To the, uh, Green Bay Packers.
237
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:18,005
Maybe Guillermo will play for the Packers.
Nah, football's kinda tough.
238
00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:21,540
He'd be better offin baseball. This summer
I'm gonna sign him up for Little League.
239
00:15:21,607 --> 00:15:24,281
Honey, I want Guillermo
to travel in the summer.
240
00:15:24,343 --> 00:15:27,187
He should see the world-
the Sphinx, the pyramids of Egypt.
241
00:15:27,246 --> 00:15:29,920
- Baseball's important.
- Well, so's travel.
242
00:15:29,982 --> 00:15:33,088
Maybe you could enroll him
in the Egyptian Little League.
243
00:15:33,152 --> 00:15:35,655
Have you decided where you're
gonna send Guillermo to school?
244
00:15:35,721 --> 00:15:39,635
I thought we'd enroll him
in this new school for free expression.
245
00:15:39,692 --> 00:15:43,799
They study outdoors, and that way
he can communicate with nature.
246
00:15:43,863 --> 00:15:47,640
I don't want him talking to trees.
I want him talking to coaches.
247
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:50,476
Well, I want him to learn about life.
248
00:15:50,536 --> 00:15:54,074
Next thing you're gonna tell me is you
don't want Guillermo to be an orthodontist.
249
00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:57,314
Oh, no! He can be an orthodontist
if he wants to.
250
00:15:57,376 --> 00:15:59,515
I just don't know why he would.
251
00:15:59,578 --> 00:16:03,390
Why? Why? Why not?
252
00:16:03,449 --> 00:16:06,589
- Well, it's a little, uh, unexciting.
- Unexciting?
253
00:16:06,652 --> 00:16:09,929
Well, maybe “unexciting“
isn't the right word.
254
00:16:09,989 --> 00:16:11,935
_ Uh_
- Uh, routine?
255
00:16:11,991 --> 00:16:15,461
- Uh, mundane?
- How about dull?
256
00:16:15,528 --> 00:16:17,530
Dull's, uh- Dull's good.
257
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,773
Better eat your chufio.
It's getting cold.
258
00:16:21,834 --> 00:16:25,077
Jerry, if my son wants to be
an orthodontist, it's all right with me.
259
00:16:25,137 --> 00:16:27,640
I'm in love with one.
260
00:16:30,009 --> 00:16:33,479
Are we here
for any particular reason?
261
00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:40,496
- How old are you, Richie?
- Eight and a half.
262
00:16:40,553 --> 00:16:43,830
- I'm 37.
- You're old, aren't ya?
263
00:16:43,889 --> 00:16:47,302
You know, I'm adopting
an eight-year-old son pretty soon.
264
00:16:47,359 --> 00:16:50,306
- What kind of stuff do you like to do?
- Well, stuff.
265
00:16:50,362 --> 00:16:53,866
- What kind of stuff?
-just stuff.
266
00:16:53,933 --> 00:16:56,436
- Are you playin'?
- Yeah. Wanna come watch?
267
00:16:56,502 --> 00:16:59,244
- No. No, I can't. I'm too busy.
- Doin' what?
268
00:16:59,305 --> 00:17:02,445
- Well, you know, stuff.
- I understand.
269
00:17:02,508 --> 00:17:04,886
Okay. Open wide.
270
00:17:04,944 --> 00:17:07,652
- Jerry? Oh, I'll come back later.
- That's okay.
271
00:17:07,713 --> 00:17:10,319
I'll be done in a minute.
Almost done. There.
272
00:17:10,382 --> 00:17:13,886
- Courtney, this is Richie.
- What kind of name's Courtney?
273
00:17:13,953 --> 00:17:17,958
- I think it's a beautiful name.
- I think it's dumb.
274
00:17:18,023 --> 00:17:19,969
- How's that feel?
- Terrible.
275
00:17:20,025 --> 00:17:23,302
Good. Then it fits.
See you next time.
276
00:17:23,362 --> 00:17:26,036
- So long, tiger.
_Jel»I'y_
277
00:17:26,098 --> 00:17:29,102
You know, Richie's the same age
as Guillermo, and he likes baseball.
278
00:17:29,168 --> 00:17:32,445
- Jerry, listen- - I canjust see Guillermo
now, scooping 'em up at third base.
279
00:17:32,505 --> 00:17:35,975
- Guillermo Robinson, the human vacuum cleaner.
Jerry, listen to me a minute.
280
00:17:36,041 --> 00:17:39,045
Maybe they'll call him Gil Robinson
or Moe Robinson or maybe Brooks.
281
00:17:39,111 --> 00:17:41,591
- Nothing wrong with that.
Jerry.
282
00:17:41,647 --> 00:17:44,218
- We can't adopt Guillermo.
- What?
283
00:17:44,283 --> 00:17:46,593
The orphanage
has decided to keep him.
284
00:17:46,652 --> 00:17:49,724
They can't keep my son. He's got to
report for baseball practice April I.
285
00:17:49,789 --> 00:17:53,794
They think it would be better if he was,
uh, brought up in the Spanish culture.
286
00:17:53,859 --> 00:17:58,035
Well, we'll make him Spanish omelets.
We'll buy him a guitar.
287
00:17:58,097 --> 00:18:02,102
No,jerry. They're gonna place him
in a nice Spanish family.
288
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:06,116
That's ridiculous.
I guess it's not ridiculous, huh?
289
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,812
No. But it's just that I wanted
to show him the world.
290
00:18:08,874 --> 00:18:11,252
I wanted to teach him about life.
291
00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:13,688
Yeah, I wanted
to teach him how to bunt.
292
00:18:13,746 --> 00:18:15,748
Kids don't know how
to bunt anymore.
293
00:18:15,815 --> 00:18:18,056
They don't slide their hands
far enough up the bat.
294
00:18:18,117 --> 00:18:20,563
You gotta hold it loose
to absorb the ball-
295
00:18:20,619 --> 00:18:22,656
Jerry! Hey, I really wanted him.
296
00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:27,727
I know. I know how you feel,
and I'm sorry.
297
00:18:27,793 --> 00:18:30,034
But look,
we still have each other.
298
00:18:30,095 --> 00:18:32,132
We still have
our memories of Guillermo.
299
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:35,771
Of course, your memories are better
than mine 'cause I never met him.
300
00:18:35,835 --> 00:18:38,338
Hey, come on.
It's not the end of the world.
301
00:18:38,404 --> 00:18:40,907
We can have our own son.
We'll call him Guillermo.
302
00:18:40,973 --> 00:18:44,113
If it's a girl,
we'll call her“Guillermolina.“
303
00:18:44,176 --> 00:18:46,486
Jerry, it's not the same.
304
00:18:46,545 --> 00:18:49,719
L- I was ready for the three of us,
you know, packing our bags...
305
00:18:49,782 --> 00:18:52,456
and we were all gonna go off
to see the world together.
306
00:18:52,518 --> 00:18:55,761
- Everything's gonna be all right.
- I hope so,jerry.
307
00:19:04,663 --> 00:19:06,665
I forgot my glove.
308
00:19:10,002 --> 00:19:14,178
- What are you guys doing?
- Stuff.
309
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,743
Well, cut that stuff out.
310
00:19:21,347 --> 00:19:23,657
Hi, Bob! Hi, Emily.
311
00:19:23,716 --> 00:19:26,720
- Hi, Howard.
- I see Bob's still playing with that magic kit.
312
00:19:26,785 --> 00:19:29,629
Yeah, I think he's gonna
take his act on the road.
313
00:19:29,688 --> 00:19:33,602
Howard, come over here
and sit down and mix up these cups.
314
00:19:37,463 --> 00:19:40,842
- This is a trick.
- Howard, mix up the cups.
315
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:43,904
- Do I have to?
- Yes!
316
00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:45,915
All right.
317
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,261
I will now place the ping-pong ball...
318
00:19:57,316 --> 00:19:59,887
under one of the cups.
319
00:19:59,952 --> 00:20:04,697
I will now askyou to again mix up the cup
under which the ball is hidden.
320
00:20:04,757 --> 00:20:06,930
- It's under the middle one.
- Howard.
321
00:20:06,992 --> 00:20:08,994
Bob, I see it.
That's where you put it.
322
00:20:09,061 --> 00:20:12,508
- That's because you didn't mix up the cups.
- Mix up the cups, Howard.
323
00:20:12,564 --> 00:20:14,703
- Why?
- Because if you don't, I'll have to.
324
00:20:28,247 --> 00:20:31,194
- That's the trick, huh?
- That's the trick.
325
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:35,392
Well, it certainly was
worth waiting for. I'm going home.
326
00:20:35,454 --> 00:20:38,264
Wait, Howard. Let me show you
the incredible ring trick.
327
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,429
- I want to go home.
- I'm going with you.
328
00:20:40,492 --> 00:20:42,631
That's it. If you don't
understand magic, belittle.
329
00:20:42,695 --> 00:20:45,938
-I hate magic.
- Well, I didn't, but I do now.
330
00:20:45,998 --> 00:20:49,036
- [ Doorbell Buzzes ]
- Howard, would you get that?
331
00:20:49,101 --> 00:20:52,105
That's not the doorbell.
That's a trick.
332
00:20:52,171 --> 00:20:54,173
Would you please get that?
333
00:20:54,239 --> 00:20:56,913
- I know that trick. That's the doorbell trick.
- [ Groans]
334
00:20:56,976 --> 00:20:58,978
All right. I'll get it.
335
00:21:02,715 --> 00:21:05,662
- Ifsjerry.
- How'd you do that?
336
00:21:11,790 --> 00:21:15,795
That, ladies and gentlemen,
is the incredible ring trick.
337
00:21:17,629 --> 00:21:20,633
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
That is the end of our show.
338
00:21:20,699 --> 00:21:23,202
Drive carefully on your way home.
339
00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:28,383
- What's the matter with you,jer?
- Courtney's not happy.
340
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,444
Oh, honey, give her a little time.
Shejust lost Guillermo.
341
00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:34,320
- It's not Guillermo. I think it's us.
- Don't you love each other?
342
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:38,055
Yes, but Guillermds
the only thing we had in common.
343
00:21:38,117 --> 00:21:42,065
- We couldn't even agree on how to raise him.
- What are you gonna do?
344
00:21:42,121 --> 00:21:45,193
I don't wanna lose her.
That's why I'm gonna hold on to her.
345
00:21:45,257 --> 00:21:48,067
- I just came to tell you that.
- No, you didn't.
346
00:21:48,127 --> 00:21:51,040
You came over to see
if that was the right thing to do.
347
00:21:51,096 --> 00:21:54,441
Bob, she offered to marry me,
and I'm gonna hold her to it.
348
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:58,004
Attaboy. Chain her. Tie her up.
349
00:21:58,070 --> 00:22:00,641
I got some extra rope here.
350
00:22:00,706 --> 00:22:03,983
I'll even show you how to tie a knot
only Houdini could get out of.
351
00:22:04,043 --> 00:22:07,547
Bob, she could learn to love me.
I could bring her flowers every day.
352
00:22:07,613 --> 00:22:10,389
Ifshe doesn't like my apartment,
I'll get her a big house.
353
00:22:10,449 --> 00:22:14,158
- That's really stupid, isn't it?
- Yup.
354
00:22:14,219 --> 00:22:17,223
Guess I'll just have to let her go.
355
00:22:17,289 --> 00:22:20,463
Well, I don't see how you can stop her.
356
00:22:20,526 --> 00:22:23,871
Neither do I.
She's an eagle. She's gotta soar.
357
00:22:23,929 --> 00:22:26,933
Jerry, you know,
you may not believe this...
358
00:22:26,999 --> 00:22:29,343
but there are a lot
of eagles out there.
359
00:22:29,401 --> 00:22:32,075
I mean,you could meet
another one tomorrow.
360
00:22:32,137 --> 00:22:34,515
I mean, I know a lot of eagles.
361
00:22:34,573 --> 00:22:39,283
You know a lot ofmud hens, Emily.
[ Mutters]
362
00:22:39,344 --> 00:22:43,690
Jerry, I'm sure things
look bleak right now.
363
00:22:43,749 --> 00:22:47,060
I'm sureyou think
that, uh, life is empty...
364
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,622
you have nothing...
365
00:22:49,688 --> 00:22:52,362
just as you might think
I have nothing up my sleeve.
366
00:22:58,363 --> 00:23:00,866
I am making a point, Emily.
367
00:23:00,933 --> 00:23:03,209
Jerry, you have to have patience.
368
00:23:03,268 --> 00:23:05,839
And if you do,
good things will happen...
369
00:23:07,039 --> 00:23:09,542
and your life will be filled with-
370
00:23:11,310 --> 00:23:13,256
Scarves?
371
00:23:13,312 --> 00:23:16,225
His life will be filled with scarves?
372
00:23:17,950 --> 00:23:22,365
- Surprises. He knows what I'm talking about.
- Yeah, I do, Bob.
373
00:23:22,421 --> 00:23:25,664
You're trying to make me feel better,
and I'm sure that I will... someday.
374
00:23:25,724 --> 00:23:28,227
And someday you're gonna
find the right girl.
375
00:23:28,293 --> 00:23:31,604
Sure! And if I don't,
I'll just go it alone.
376
00:23:31,663 --> 00:23:33,609
Jerry...
377
00:23:35,634 --> 00:23:38,080
you'll never go it alone...
378
00:23:38,137 --> 00:23:40,674
'cause you will always have...
379
00:23:40,739 --> 00:23:42,741
an egg in your ear.
380
00:23:49,982 --> 00:23:52,929
Hi. I just want to say good-bye
to everybody.
381
00:23:52,985 --> 00:23:56,398
- See you during your next pit stop.
- Bye, Bob.
382
00:23:56,455 --> 00:23:59,664
- Where are you off to?
- I'm going back to Bolivia.
383
00:23:59,725 --> 00:24:03,502
Oh! Well, be sure
to ship us some chufio.
384
00:24:03,562 --> 00:24:06,270
I'd love to, but it's out of season.
385
00:24:06,331 --> 00:24:08,402
What- What are they
stomping on now?
386
00:24:08,467 --> 00:24:10,674
Probably the dictator.
387
00:24:12,704 --> 00:24:15,844
- So long, Courtney.
- Aren't you taking Courtney to the airport?
388
00:24:15,908 --> 00:24:18,912
- No, this eagle must soar alone.
- [ Elevator Bell Dings]
389
00:24:18,977 --> 00:24:20,979
-I hate long good-byes.
- So do I.
390
00:24:21,046 --> 00:24:24,152
- Bye.
- Bye.
391
00:24:24,216 --> 00:24:27,095
HeyJerry, I thinkyou
handled that really well.
392
00:24:27,152 --> 00:24:30,156
Hey, I can cope, huh?
[Laughs]
393
00:24:30,222 --> 00:24:34,796
I've done it before.
I can always find somebody else.
394
00:24:34,860 --> 00:24:38,808
If I can't have an eagle,
I can call up one of Emily's mud hens.
395
00:24:41,567 --> 00:24:45,845
Courtney. Courtney!
Courtney, I can't live without you!
396
00:24:52,678 --> 00:24:55,181
So far I'd say he's coping beautifully.
397
00:25:30,882 --> 00:25:32,190
[ Mews]
32635
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