Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:09,289 --> 00:01:13,203
- Uh, want another piece of pie, Howard?
- No, thanks. Four is plenty.
2
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:16,036
- You're a terrific cook, Emily.
- Oh, thank you.
3
00:01:16,096 --> 00:01:20,203
Oh, now honey, don't hide your light
under a bushel. You're a terrific cook too.
4
00:01:20,267 --> 00:01:22,975
You know what Carol made me
for breakfast this morning?
5
00:01:23,036 --> 00:01:25,346
Toast.
6
00:01:26,406 --> 00:01:29,250
- Emily made that for me once.
- 0/1.
7
00:01:29,309 --> 00:01:31,414
With a choice of cinnamon orjelly?
8
00:01:31,478 --> 00:01:34,857
- Which one did you take?
- I had both.
9
00:01:34,915 --> 00:01:37,862
- Good fiat you.
- [Chuckles]
10
00:01:37,918 --> 00:01:42,890
Well, wait till you're married a few years longer.
You- You won't have a choice.
11
00:01:42,956 --> 00:01:46,961
Toward the end, Lois used to serve me those-
the little cardboard boxes of cereal...
12
00:01:47,027 --> 00:01:49,371
with no milk.
13
00:01:49,429 --> 00:01:53,104
Say, did I show you the pictures I took
of Carol at the beach?
14
00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:55,112
- Yes, I thinkyou did.
- No, you didn't.
15
00:01:55,168 --> 00:01:57,478
- Yes, you did.
- Well, we've looked at a lot of pictures.
16
00:01:57,537 --> 00:02:00,882
Larry, uh, you've shown them the pictures
of me on our honeymoon...
17
00:02:00,941 --> 00:02:05,287
and the ones of me cleaning the apartment
and the ones of me grocery shopping.
18
00:02:05,345 --> 00:02:08,815
And the ones of Carol, uh,
cleaning her oven.
19
00:02:09,816 --> 00:02:13,263
You have a nice broiler.
20
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:18,827
- We haven't seen the ones of Carol at the beach.
- Oh. Well, here they are.
21
00:02:18,892 --> 00:02:21,896
- Great.
- I, uh- I shot these at sunrise.
22
00:02:21,962 --> 00:02:25,432
- Now, here's Carol at 6:01.
- Mmm. Very nice.
23
00:02:25,498 --> 00:02:27,944
- There's Carol at 6:02.
- Uh-huh.
24
00:02:28,001 --> 00:02:30,572
[Larry]
There she is at 6:03.
25
00:02:30,637 --> 00:02:34,107
She, uh, doesn't look that much different
from the one at 6:02.
26
00:02:34,174 --> 00:02:37,485
Except a little older.
27
00:02:37,544 --> 00:02:41,082
Honey, come on, You've shown 'em pictures
of everything except me brushing my teeth.
28
00:02:41,147 --> 00:02:45,653
- Those won't be ready till tomorrow.
- Oh, you need some cream.
29
00:02:45,719 --> 00:02:48,495
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Let me.
30
00:02:54,361 --> 00:02:56,807
Here we go.
31
00:02:56,863 --> 00:02:58,809
Thank you.
32
00:02:58,865 --> 00:03:04,577
That's my Big Red.
Isn't she beautiful when she drinks coffee?
33
00:03:05,572 --> 00:03:07,643
Too bad you don't have your camera.
34
00:03:09,676 --> 00:03:12,054
- I could get it. It's in the car.
- No, no.
35
00:03:12,112 --> 00:03:14,058
Honey, we better be heading
for home, otherwise...
36
00:03:14,114 --> 00:03:16,116
you'll have to take pictures
of me falling asleep.
37
00:03:16,182 --> 00:03:19,823
Oh, that wouldn't be too bad.
You're beautiful when you're asleep.
38
00:03:19,886 --> 00:03:23,197
- Emily, thanks for a terrific dinner.
- Yeah, yeah. Thanks a lot.
39
00:03:23,256 --> 00:03:27,500
- Next time you'll have to come to our place
for dinner. - I'll whip up some toast.
40
00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:29,062
- Good night.
- Bye-bye.
41
00:03:29,129 --> 00:03:30,699
- Nice talkin' to you.
- Good night.
42
00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:31,900
[Sighs]
43
00:03:31,965 --> 00:03:36,971
Ah. Wow. Well, could I please have
some more ice cream and some pie?
44
00:03:38,405 --> 00:03:40,715
Well, uh, Howard,
we're gonna be going to bed soon.
45
00:03:40,774 --> 00:03:44,517
That's okay.
I'll turn out the lights.
46
00:03:44,577 --> 00:03:47,922
- Well, I'll give you a piece of pie to take with you.
- And, uh, some ice cream.
47
00:03:47,981 --> 00:03:51,485
Yeah.
Gee, aren't newlyweds romantic?
48
00:03:51,551 --> 00:03:54,225
I just love the way Larry dotes on Carol.
49
00:03:54,287 --> 00:03:57,166
Well, I- I dote on you. I just-
50
00:03:57,223 --> 00:04:01,729
- I dote differently than... other doters dote.
- Mm-hmm.
51
00:04:01,795 --> 00:04:03,741
You never stirred my coffee.
52
00:04:03,797 --> 00:04:07,040
- I always thought you were strong enough
to stiryou own coffee. - [ Laughs]
53
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:10,570
Here you are, Howard:
pie é la mode for the road.
54
00:04:11,738 --> 00:04:14,776
Oh. Well, then I, uh, guess I'm going, huh?
55
00:04:14,841 --> 00:04:17,447
That's what “for the road“ means.
56
00:04:17,510 --> 00:04:22,050
[Sighs]
Well, I'm sorryl can't stay any longer, Bob.
57
00:04:22,115 --> 00:04:25,255
- L, uh, have been asked to leave.
- [Clicks Tongue] Oh.
58
00:04:25,318 --> 00:04:29,528
We'll, uh- We'll make it up to you, Howard.
We'll invite you for dinner one night.
59
00:04:31,257 --> 00:04:33,965
Oh. [Sighs]
Well.
60
00:04:34,027 --> 00:04:36,166
- Well, there he goes.
- Yeah.
61
00:04:37,163 --> 00:04:40,975
Uh, why did you want him to leave?
62
00:04:41,034 --> 00:04:43,537
Well, I thought maybe
you wanted to dote on me.
63
00:04:43,603 --> 00:04:47,574
I mean, I'm-
I'm wide awake.
64
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,916
Nothing to watch on television.
65
00:04:50,977 --> 00:04:54,288
I don't have anything to read.
66
00:04:54,347 --> 00:04:57,419
I don't have anything to read either.
67
00:04:57,484 --> 00:05:01,955
So, um, what do you feel like doing?
68
00:05:03,623 --> 00:05:08,538
Well, I could, uh, run down to the drugstore,
get a couple of magazines.
69
00:05:19,005 --> 00:05:24,580
I tell you, Dr. Hartley, it's getting so
you can't trust anybody these days.
70
00:05:24,644 --> 00:05:27,955
Well, I-l hope you trust me,
Mrs. Bakerman.
71
00:05:28,014 --> 00:05:30,688
Oh, I certainly do.
72
00:05:37,057 --> 00:05:41,870
It's the priest at my church
that I don't trust- Father McKinnon.
73
00:05:41,928 --> 00:05:45,171
I think he's rigging the bingo games.
74
00:05:45,231 --> 00:05:47,370
Why- Why do you say that?
75
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:50,472
Just look at this record
that I've been keeping.
76
00:05:50,537 --> 00:05:54,485
Look what has happened
the last seven bingo nights.
77
00:05:56,543 --> 00:05:59,285
The priest's cousin
has won the panty hose.
78
00:05:59,345 --> 00:06:01,825
Well, it could just be a coincidence.
79
00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:04,623
Was it a coincidence
that the deciding number...
80
00:06:04,751 --> 00:06:07,357
every time was 0-68?
81
00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:09,400
Well, it- it isn't likely.
82
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:13,871
Was it a coincidence that the priest's sister
won the television set...
83
00:06:13,927 --> 00:06:16,430
and the Kawasaki dirt bike?
84
00:06:18,031 --> 00:06:22,207
There's something going on at that church
that just isn't kosher.
85
00:06:23,837 --> 00:06:26,818
You, uh- You may be right.
86
00:06:26,873 --> 00:06:28,910
Whoops. I'm sor-
Uh, my pencil just broke.
87
00:06:28,975 --> 00:06:32,354
Well, then, I will just hold my thought.
88
00:06:32,412 --> 00:06:35,086
All rightjust, uh-
just give me a second.
89
00:06:38,084 --> 00:06:42,658
- Uh, Carol, would you bring in a new
pencil, please? - Right away, Bob.
90
00:06:51,531 --> 00:06:56,571
- One sharp pencil-just what the doctor ordered.
- Larry, what are you doing here?
91
00:06:56,636 --> 00:06:59,378
I just came by on my lunch hour
to help out Big Red.
92
00:06:59,439 --> 00:07:03,410
- Who's Big Red?
- Oh, that's what I call Carol. She has red hair.
93
00:07:03,476 --> 00:07:05,422
Isn't that nice?
94
00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:09,551
My brother, Carlyle,
used to call his wife “Big Red.“
95
00:07:09,616 --> 00:07:12,028
Of course, she was a communist.
96
00:07:17,624 --> 00:07:21,436
Bob, um, I'll, uh- I'll pick up some more pencils
while I'm at the drugstore.
97
00:07:21,494 --> 00:07:24,100
- I have to get some film.
- More pictures of Carol.
98
00:07:24,164 --> 00:07:26,542
Right.
99
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,978
All right.
You can write this down now:
100
00:07:30,036 --> 00:07:33,882
“And I am going
to find out what it is.“
101
00:07:36,009 --> 00:07:37,955
I- I beg your pardon?
102
00:07:38,011 --> 00:07:43,188
What's going on over at the church-
it's gone way beyond the talking stage.
103
00:07:43,249 --> 00:07:46,253
I am going to write a letter
to the pope.
104
00:07:46,319 --> 00:07:49,698
Well, uh, why don't you, uh-
why don't you give it another week...
105
00:07:49,756 --> 00:07:53,169
and then ifit, uh- ifit happens again, then-
then write the letter.
106
00:07:53,226 --> 00:07:56,730
I just wish I knew
the Latin word for “rip-off.“
107
00:08:02,235 --> 00:08:06,012
- Oh, uh, Bob, I typed up that letter. Red has it.
- Oh, thanks.
108
00:08:06,072 --> 00:08:09,246
Here you go, Bob.
Put you down for next week, Mrs. Bakerman?
109
00:08:09,309 --> 00:08:12,483
- Thank you, Big Red.
- [Chuckles]
110
00:08:12,545 --> 00:08:15,754
- You met Larry.
- Yes, I did.
111
00:08:15,815 --> 00:08:17,761
[Elevator Bell Dings]
112
00:08:18,918 --> 00:08:23,025
Do you happen to know
the pope's last name?
113
00:08:25,792 --> 00:08:29,171
Uh, Carol, unless I'm wrong,
I think that's supposed to be...
114
00:08:29,229 --> 00:08:31,641
“group“ therapy.
not “gorp“ therapy.
115
00:08:31,698 --> 00:08:36,169
Oh, sorry, Bob.
Larry still uses the hunt-and-peck method.
116
00:08:36,236 --> 00:08:40,776
Well, when he types it over,
tell him there are no numbers in my name.
117
00:08:42,942 --> 00:08:45,218
- Nice, uh- Nice flowers.
- They're from Larry.
118
00:08:45,278 --> 00:08:49,283
- That's what I figured.
- Can I tell you somethin', Bob? He exhausts me.
119
00:08:49,349 --> 00:08:51,829
Well, that's, uh, traditional
for newlyweds.
120
00:08:53,686 --> 00:08:55,632
Just hear me out, Bob.
Larry's all over me.
121
00:08:55,688 --> 00:08:58,692
- Uh, really, Carol, let's not get into this.
- Please, Bob.
122
00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:02,570
He's like a blanket. I mean, we're together
constantly, 24 hours a day.
123
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:05,200
- Like the other night in the shower-
- Carol, really.
124
00:09:05,265 --> 00:09:09,077
Bob, what I'm trying to say is,
I never get a minute to myself.
125
00:09:09,135 --> 00:09:11,877
Well, maybe he'sjust...
trying to conserve hot water.
126
00:09:11,938 --> 00:09:14,043
[Clicks Tongue]
Come on, Bob.
127
00:09:14,107 --> 00:09:16,519
You and Emily
have lots of time to yourselves.
128
00:09:16,576 --> 00:09:20,547
I mean, ifshe had to be with you
24 hours a day, she'd go crazy.
129
00:09:22,148 --> 00:09:25,925
Well, I, uh-l don't wanna be with her
all the time either.
130
00:09:25,985 --> 00:09:30,661
I mean, like, uh, tomorrow night she has tickets
for the ballet. It's the last place I wanna be.
131
00:09:30,723 --> 00:09:32,430
Don't go.
132
00:09:32,492 --> 00:09:35,530
Well, I wouldn't, if I, uh-
if I thought I could find somebody else who...
133
00:09:35,595 --> 00:09:37,541
you know, who'd enjoy going.
134
00:09:37,597 --> 00:09:40,339
Sorry, Bob. I feel about the ballet
the same way you do.
135
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,711
- I don't know enough about it to enjoy it.
- Well, it's, uh, Swan Lake.
136
00:09:43,770 --> 00:09:48,446
- It's the story about this princess that turns into a-
- I know, but I don't want to go.
137
00:09:48,508 --> 00:09:54,356
- Besides, what would Larry do? - Hmm,we
could, um- we could think of something.
138
00:09:56,149 --> 00:09:58,493
Carol, do you, uh-
139
00:09:58,551 --> 00:10:02,124
you suppose Larry might be interested
in playing poker sometime?
140
00:10:02,188 --> 00:10:05,226
- I'm not going to the ballet, Bob.
- [ Elevator Bell Dings]
141
00:10:05,291 --> 00:10:07,362
How about a nice big smile
from Big Red?
142
00:10:07,427 --> 00:10:10,704
- Larry, I'm working.
- I'll only be a 60th of a second.
143
00:10:15,668 --> 00:10:19,639
I gotta have that ticket, Bob.
I'll pay anything.
144
00:10:24,777 --> 00:10:27,257
The way I'm anteing,
I should have gone to the ballet.
145
00:10:27,313 --> 00:10:31,921
I wish you had.
Then I could have been with Big Red.
146
00:10:31,984 --> 00:10:35,727
- Are we gonna play or what?
- Why bother? The cards are terrible tonight.
147
00:10:35,788 --> 00:10:39,133
- Does a straight flush beat four of a kind?
- [jar/y] Yeah.
148
00:10:39,192 --> 00:10:42,230
I'll call.
149
00:10:42,295 --> 00:10:45,868
- Okay, What are you gonna do, Howard?
- It's always up to Howard.
150
00:10:45,932 --> 00:10:48,242
Whatever I do, wherever I go,
it's always up to Howard.
151
00:10:48,301 --> 00:10:50,781
What are you gonna do, Howard?
152
00:10:50,837 --> 00:10:53,511
I don't know.
153
00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:57,954
I'll raise you a nickel.
154
00:10:58,010 --> 00:11:01,048
- Too rich for my blood.
- Call.
155
00:11:01,114 --> 00:11:03,060
Call.
What do you got, Howard?
156
00:11:03,116 --> 00:11:07,462
- [Chuckles] Read those and weep.
- A pair of threes?
157
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:11,764
Yeah. I paired up on the last card.
158
00:11:11,824 --> 00:11:14,532
I pulled my third ace on the last card.
159
00:11:14,594 --> 00:11:17,473
- Straight flush.
- Guess I came in third.
160
00:11:17,530 --> 00:11:21,376
- Dip.
- Don't get personaLjer.
161
00:11:21,434 --> 00:11:23,607
- No. Pass the dip.
- Oh.
162
00:11:28,107 --> 00:11:31,054
Carol makes the best dip in the world.
163
00:11:31,110 --> 00:11:35,354
She combines sour cream
and onion soup mix.
164
00:11:35,415 --> 00:11:37,361
I don't know how she does it.
165
00:11:37,417 --> 00:11:40,796
Perhaps we could just play cards
without talkin' in between every hand here.
166
00:11:40,853 --> 00:11:43,356
Boy, I miss her.
You should have seen...
167
00:11:43,423 --> 00:11:46,461
what she was wearing
when she left for the ballet.
168
00:11:46,526 --> 00:11:50,303
She was wearing... a dress.
169
00:11:50,363 --> 00:11:53,310
Sometimes Emily wears a dress.
170
00:11:53,366 --> 00:11:57,405
- Are we gonna talk or play cards? Who's deal is it?
- It's mine.
171
00:11:57,470 --> 00:12:00,314
And, uh, dealer's choice-
What game are we gonna play, Howard?
172
00:12:00,373 --> 00:12:02,649
- Pai tai.
- I've never heard of it.
173
00:12:02,708 --> 00:12:05,882
- It's Chinese poker.
- “Pai tai?“ What does that, uh, mean?
174
00:12:05,945 --> 00:12:10,360
- “Chinese poker.“ Everybody in.
- Everybody except you, Howard.
175
00:12:10,416 --> 00:12:15,456
In pai tai the dealer doesn't ante.
Sorry, Bob.
176
00:12:15,521 --> 00:12:18,195
- Okay? How many cards you have?
- Eleven.
177
00:12:18,257 --> 00:12:19,702
- Six.
- Two.
178
00:12:19,759 --> 00:12:23,400
- Good.
- Uh, Howard, are there any rules to this game?
179
00:12:24,397 --> 00:12:26,809
It has rules.
180
00:12:26,866 --> 00:12:31,747
This is the way it goes, okay? Twos and sevens
beat anything. Red jacks are wild...
181
00:12:31,804 --> 00:12:34,751
and the first person to have a winning hand
yells, “pai tai!“
182
00:12:36,476 --> 00:12:39,355
- Now, does anybody have any kings?
- I have two.
183
00:12:39,412 --> 00:12:42,154
Throw 'em out.
184
00:12:43,983 --> 00:12:46,759
- No kings in pai tai.
- I should have guessed.
185
00:12:46,819 --> 00:12:48,799
- Okay? I bet a dime.
- I fold.
186
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,801
You can't.
187
00:12:52,358 --> 00:12:55,430
- Can I fold?
- Only the dealer can fold in pai tai.
188
00:12:55,495 --> 00:12:57,873
I don't have any cards.
189
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:02,813
You'll have to sit there
until you lose.
190
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,815
Well, in that case,
I'll double my bet.
191
00:13:07,273 --> 00:13:09,651
- Okay. I call.
- I'll call.
192
00:13:09,709 --> 00:13:12,087
Call.
193
00:13:12,144 --> 00:13:14,124
I win! Pai tai.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
194
00:13:18,384 --> 00:13:20,887
Well, they don't call you
“Lucky“ Borden for nothing.
195
00:13:20,953 --> 00:13:24,400
- I wish Big Red was back.
- I love this game. Let's play again.
196
00:13:24,457 --> 00:13:27,165
Oh, no, sirree.
It's my deal, and it's dealer's choice.
197
00:13:27,226 --> 00:13:31,504
- And dealer says “klopsky.“
- Klopsky?
198
00:13:31,564 --> 00:13:34,943
Klopsky. I'll need three decks
of cards and a banana.
199
00:13:36,002 --> 00:13:39,347
- Hi.
- Oh, Big Red's back.
200
00:13:39,405 --> 00:13:43,444
- How was it?
- Same old thing: The swan died.
201
00:13:43,509 --> 00:13:47,150
- Everybody have on their tutus?
- Except for one overweight ballerina.
202
00:13:47,213 --> 00:13:50,592
She was wearing a three-three.
[Chuckles]
203
00:13:50,650 --> 00:13:52,596
Oh.
[Laughs]
204
00:13:52,652 --> 00:13:55,758
[Wheezing]
205
00:13:55,821 --> 00:13:59,928
[High-pitched Giggling]
I love your sense of humor.
206
00:13:59,992 --> 00:14:03,633
I am the luckiest guy in the world,
because I get to go home with you.
207
00:14:03,696 --> 00:14:06,870
- Let's go. - You can't leave. We're
right in the middle of klopsky.
208
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:10,437
- No, I wanna go home. - Larry, I thought
we could stay with our friends for a while.
209
00:14:10,503 --> 00:14:13,609
Aw, gee, I was kinda hoping to take
some pictures of you in the moonlight.
210
00:14:13,673 --> 00:14:17,120
- There is no moon.
- Well, then you can stand under a lamppost.
211
00:14:17,176 --> 00:14:22,649
Larry, I'm not gonna stand under a lamppost
in Chicago in the middle of winter.
212
00:14:22,715 --> 00:14:25,559
- You're mad, aren't you?
- A little.
213
00:14:25,618 --> 00:14:27,996
- Oh, and you-
- And don't tell me I'm beautiful when I'm mad.
214
00:14:28,054 --> 00:14:30,534
All right. I won't.
But you are.
215
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:33,127
- [Chuckles]
- Hmm. Let's go home, Larry.
216
00:14:33,192 --> 00:14:36,036
- See you Thursday, Emily.
- What do you mean? What's Thursday?
217
00:14:36,095 --> 00:14:40,134
Well, Carol and I thought we'd go to the gym
a couple of nights a week, you know, to kind of...
218
00:14:40,199 --> 00:14:42,145
firm up.
219
00:14:42,201 --> 00:14:45,705
That's silly. You're plenty firm.
So's Emily.
220
00:14:45,771 --> 00:14:49,651
Well, you can't be too firm.
221
00:14:49,709 --> 00:14:53,384
We thought we'd give you guys
bachelor nights every Tuesday and Thursday.
222
00:14:53,446 --> 00:14:57,189
I had bachelor night
every night of my life for 35 years!
223
00:14:57,249 --> 00:14:59,559
- Look. lfit's gonna be a problem-
- It's not a problem.
224
00:14:59,619 --> 00:15:02,395
- It's something I wanna do.
- Well, fine.
225
00:15:02,455 --> 00:15:04,935
I'm, uh, gonna go look for a banana.
226
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:09,201
- [ Emily] Yeah. Why not?
- Let's all look for bananas.
227
00:15:09,261 --> 00:15:12,401
- Why can't I go to the gym with ya?
- Larry, it's a ladies' gym.
228
00:15:12,465 --> 00:15:17,778
- How are we gonna be together?
- Maybe I need to be by myself once in a while.
229
00:15:17,837 --> 00:15:22,684
- There's somebody else.
- That's ridiculous. I'm gonna look for a cab.
230
00:15:22,742 --> 00:15:25,245
I don't know why we even got married
if you're never coming home.
231
00:15:25,311 --> 00:15:28,155
I'm beginning to wonder that myself.
232
00:15:29,415 --> 00:15:33,022
- Thanks for a wonderful evening!
- You're welcome.
233
00:15:33,085 --> 00:15:36,897
Hey, if you guys aren't gonna play
any more pai tai, you owe me $14.
234
00:15:36,956 --> 00:15:39,061
What?
235
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:41,935
Don't get mad at me.
I didn't make up the rules.
236
00:15:41,994 --> 00:15:44,907
Uh, Emily, sit down. We're gonna get
a chance to win our money back here.
237
00:15:44,964 --> 00:15:48,502
Okay. Everybody ante up for klopsky.
238
00:15:58,310 --> 00:16:00,312
Okay, I'm in.
239
00:16:08,788 --> 00:16:12,292
Bob? You remember
our first fight?
240
00:16:12,358 --> 00:16:17,000
- Yeah, uh,joe Fraizer andjerry Quarry.
- What?
241
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,805
The Fraizer-Quarry fight.
That was the first fight we saw together.
242
00:16:19,865 --> 00:16:23,972
No. I'm talking about a fight
like Larry and Carol had tonight.
243
00:16:24,036 --> 00:16:27,142
- Oh, you mean a domestic squabble.
- Mmm.
244
00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:32,656
- No. I don't remember our first fight. Do you?
- It was August 17, 1970.
245
00:16:32,712 --> 00:16:35,556
Oh. Well, it, uh, really doesn't matter.
246
00:16:35,614 --> 00:16:39,619
Yeah. You came home from work
at 6:25 and you-
247
00:16:39,685 --> 00:16:43,223
you changed into your Bermuda shorts-
you know, the red and yellow ones?
248
00:16:43,289 --> 00:16:46,498
And then you went out on the balcony
to barbecue some steaks.
249
00:16:46,559 --> 00:16:49,938
- What color socks was I wearing?
- Green.
250
00:16:49,995 --> 00:16:51,941
Well, it really doesn't matter.
251
00:16:51,997 --> 00:16:56,844
You came in from the balcony, and you brought
the steaks in, and we sat down at the table.
252
00:16:56,902 --> 00:17:02,853
- And I covered my steak- - Ketchup! Now
I remember. You ruined it with ketchup!
253
00:17:02,908 --> 00:17:06,321
- Well, like you said, it really doesn't matter.
- Oh, it matters, all right.
254
00:17:06,378 --> 00:17:09,416
Y-You destroyed a beautifully barbecued
piece of meat. It was perfect. You-
255
00:17:09,482 --> 00:17:12,019
You slapped ketchup all over it
and ruined it.
256
00:17:12,084 --> 00:17:14,690
Ketchup was the only way to save it.
257
00:17:14,754 --> 00:17:17,064
You don't know anything about steaks.
258
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,660
I know shoe leather when I taste it.
259
00:17:19,725 --> 00:17:23,195
- And you know about ketchup.
- I happen to like ketchup.
260
00:17:23,262 --> 00:17:27,904
- Aha! So it had nothing to do with the meat.
- The meat was ruined.
261
00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:33,417
- It was ruined by the ketchup.
- It was ruined by the cook.
262
00:17:37,843 --> 00:17:42,656
Our first fight?
No, I don't remember anything about it.
263
00:17:46,352 --> 00:17:48,889
Neither do I.
264
00:17:48,954 --> 00:17:51,059
Good night, Bob.
265
00:17:51,123 --> 00:17:53,626
- Good night.
- [ Sighs]
266
00:17:56,262 --> 00:17:58,208
Now I'm hungry.
267
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:07,879
Father McKinnon's cousin
won at bingo again.
268
00:18:07,940 --> 00:18:11,717
- Panty hose?
- Six pairs.
269
00:18:11,777 --> 00:18:14,018
It can't be a coincidence this time.
270
00:18:14,079 --> 00:18:16,685
Well, maybe it'll be
the last time it'll happen.
271
00:18:16,749 --> 00:18:19,491
It is the last time
it will happen.
272
00:18:19,552 --> 00:18:23,364
See this?
I took it after last night's game.
273
00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:26,536
O-68.
274
00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:30,262
You, uh-
You stole this, Mrs. Bakerman.
275
00:18:30,329 --> 00:18:33,105
When I go to confession this afternoon...
276
00:18:33,165 --> 00:18:36,669
I will ask Father McKinnon
for forgiveness.
277
00:18:36,735 --> 00:18:41,616
And then I will ask him to forgive me
for having him arrested.
278
00:18:41,674 --> 00:18:45,383
Why don't you just, uh, give back the ball,
and, uh, maybe he'll get the message?
279
00:18:45,444 --> 00:18:48,516
Oh, I can't take that chance,
Dr. Hartley.
280
00:18:48,581 --> 00:18:51,892
This week it's a dune buggy...
281
00:18:51,951 --> 00:18:55,797
and a set of mag wheels at stake.
282
00:18:55,855 --> 00:18:59,803
Well, I'm, uh- I'm afraid our time is up.
just, uh-
283
00:18:59,859 --> 00:19:03,636
just do what you think is best and, uh, you know,
let your conscience be your guide.
284
00:19:04,697 --> 00:19:07,303
My conscience says to me...
285
00:19:07,366 --> 00:19:11,143
“Lillian,you blew the Kawasaki.
286
00:19:11,203 --> 00:19:15,117
Be sure the dune buggy
doesn't slip through your fingers.“
287
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:29,290
Knocks]
Bob, Larry won't be playing poker tonight.
288
00:19:29,355 --> 00:19:34,498
Oh, that's too bad.
Howard was gonna explain four-man sneehoe.
289
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,131
Can't you just play three-man sneehoe?
290
00:19:37,196 --> 00:19:41,167
Three-man sneehoe is illegal in Illinois.
291
00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:45,045
- Wh-Why can't he play?
- Well, I won't be going to the gym.
292
00:19:45,104 --> 00:19:47,812
He thinks I'm firm enough,
and he wants me at home.
293
00:19:47,873 --> 00:19:49,819
He, uh, got a new lens
for his camera, huh?
294
00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:53,049
He got a new movie camera, Bob,
with sound.
295
00:19:53,112 --> 00:19:57,925
You know what's on at Thursday Night at the
Mowes? Me cooking Wednesday morning's breakfast.
296
00:19:57,983 --> 00:20:01,192
He made me poach the same egg seven times
till he got a perfect take.
297
00:20:01,253 --> 00:20:03,199
Bob, why?
Why is he doing this to me?
298
00:20:03,255 --> 00:20:07,863
Carol, why are you letting him do it? I mean,
why don't you just be honest with him?
299
00:20:07,927 --> 00:20:10,203
Because I don't wanna
louse this thing up.
300
00:20:10,262 --> 00:20:15,211
Carol, if being honest is gonna louse it up,
then, uh, maybe it wasn't too good to begin with.
301
00:20:16,502 --> 00:20:19,381
You're right, Bob.
I'm going to the gym.
302
00:20:19,438 --> 00:20:24,512
Uh, Carol, that, uh- that new movie camera
that Larry got- uh, you say it has sound?
303
00:20:24,576 --> 00:20:28,456
- Yeah.
- Would he let me, uh, use it one time?
304
00:20:28,514 --> 00:20:31,154
Sure, if I can pry it out of his hands.
305
00:20:31,216 --> 00:20:33,822
Well, I-l thought it might help
straighten out my, uh- my bowling.
306
00:20:33,886 --> 00:20:37,527
Last couple of times I've gone out
I was hitting myself in the- in the ankle.
307
00:20:37,589 --> 00:20:40,729
- Why do you need sound for that?
- Well, I thought it'd be interesting to-
308
00:20:40,793 --> 00:20:44,104
to hear what I sound like when I-
when I scream.
309
00:20:46,165 --> 00:20:48,167
Door Closes 1
310
00:20:51,470 --> 00:20:53,472
[Yelps Quietly]
311
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,042
[Yelps Louder]
312
00:21:01,847 --> 00:21:06,023
Mmm. Bob, this is
a beautifully barbecued steak.
313
00:21:06,085 --> 00:21:09,931
The secret is to turn it every minute and a half
to get the outsidejust right.
314
00:21:09,989 --> 00:21:12,868
- Pass the ketchup.
- Oh.
315
00:21:12,925 --> 00:21:14,871
What are you-
What are you doing that for?
316
00:21:14,927 --> 00:21:18,739
- I like ketchup on it.
- Doesn't everybody?
317
00:21:18,797 --> 00:21:21,869
Well, look. Carol, I hate to rush you,
but we'd better get our things together.
318
00:21:21,934 --> 00:21:26,007
- We're due atjogging class in 15 minutes.
- Talk about eating and running.
319
00:21:26,071 --> 00:21:28,608
Honey, you can finish my steak
if you want it.
320
00:21:28,674 --> 00:21:30,676
Not with all that stufiall over it.
321
00:21:30,743 --> 00:21:32,780
[ Mocking]
All that stufiall over it.
322
00:21:32,845 --> 00:21:34,847
[Mouthing Words]
323
00:21:46,959 --> 00:21:48,961
-[Clears Throat]
- [Chuckles]
324
00:21:52,097 --> 00:21:55,044
- [Knocking]
- I'll get it.
325
00:21:57,069 --> 00:21:59,015
Hi, Emily. Bob.
326
00:21:59,071 --> 00:22:01,017
- Hi, Larry.
- Hi.
327
00:22:01,073 --> 00:22:03,952
- Where's, uh, Big Red?
- Uh, she's changing.
328
00:22:04,009 --> 00:22:06,751
I'll say she is.
329
00:22:06,812 --> 00:22:08,792
Listen to this note she left me:
330
00:22:08,847 --> 00:22:12,454
“I love you very much. I'm going to the gym.“
What does it mean?
331
00:22:14,553 --> 00:22:16,499
I think it's pretty self-explanatory.
332
00:22:16,555 --> 00:22:18,865
Uh, Carol, Larry's here.
333
00:22:18,924 --> 00:22:22,030
- [Carol] He is?
- What does that mean?
334
00:22:22,094 --> 00:22:25,632
- Well, it probably means she didn't expect
you here. - I don't understand any of this.
335
00:22:25,697 --> 00:22:29,668
- Why is she doing this to me?
- Why is she doing what to you?
336
00:22:29,735 --> 00:22:33,615
- Trying to run away from me. - Well, does she
look like she's trying to run away from you?
337
00:22:33,672 --> 00:22:36,448
Yeah. She looks like
she's thinking about it.
338
00:22:36,508 --> 00:22:39,182
I'm not.
Larry, you've gotta let me breathe.
339
00:22:39,244 --> 00:22:41,190
Well, why can't we breathe together?
340
00:22:41,246 --> 00:22:44,693
- I thought married people were supposed
to do things together. - Not everything.
341
00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:47,663
- Most things.
- Not breathing.
342
00:22:47,719 --> 00:22:49,790
Could I say something?
343
00:22:49,855 --> 00:22:53,200
Carol is like a-
a good steak, and-
344
00:22:53,258 --> 00:22:57,798
and you're tryin' to smother her with-
with ketchup.
345
00:22:58,931 --> 00:23:03,073
- I like ketchup on steak.
- Nice try, Bob.
346
00:23:03,135 --> 00:23:07,208
- I'll handle this, Bob. Larry, I love you.
- Well, that's telling him.
347
00:23:07,272 --> 00:23:12,688
- L- I love you too, Red. - But I'd love you
more if you'd let me have some time to myself.
348
00:23:12,744 --> 00:23:16,556
Now what I wanna know is,
do you love me enough to let me do that?
349
00:23:16,615 --> 00:23:18,561
Yeah.
350
00:23:18,617 --> 00:23:20,824
Well, sure.
351
00:23:20,886 --> 00:23:23,332
Of course.
352
00:23:23,388 --> 00:23:27,564
Oh, honey, you take
as much time as you need.
353
00:23:27,626 --> 00:23:31,039
Oh, thank you.
Emily, let's go.
354
00:23:31,096 --> 00:23:34,236
- When will you be back?
- [Carol ] When I get back.
355
00:23:34,299 --> 00:23:36,973
- Uh, what's the number at the gym?
- I don't know.
356
00:23:37,035 --> 00:23:40,539
- Well, uh- uh, will you call me when
you get there? - Come on, Carol.
357
00:23:40,606 --> 00:23:44,247
You want me to pickyou up?
I've got my car-
358
00:24:00,325 --> 00:24:02,601
Sneehoe!
[Cackles]
359
00:24:02,661 --> 00:24:04,698
Aw, that's three sneehoes in a row.
360
00:24:04,763 --> 00:24:09,212
How can he be lucky enough
to keep drawin' the king ofsnee?
361
00:24:09,268 --> 00:24:14,149
- Hey, where's the food? - Look. I'm not
feeding you guys every Tuesday and Thursday.
362
00:24:14,206 --> 00:24:16,208
I mean, why can't we play
at somebody else's place?
363
00:24:16,275 --> 00:24:18,277
'Cause your apartment
is centrally located.
364
00:24:18,343 --> 00:24:20,789
Oh, that's true.
Your apartment is a little off-center.
365
00:24:20,846 --> 00:24:23,554
We can play at my place next week.
366
00:24:23,615 --> 00:24:26,892
Yeah, we can play at my place
the week after that.
367
00:24:26,952 --> 00:24:30,900
- Well, how about you, Howard?
- Well, I'll go anywhere to play sneehoe.
368
00:24:30,956 --> 00:24:34,494
When we play at my apartment,
we're gonna play straight poker.
369
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:38,838
Is that directed at me?
I know how to play straight poker. I'll deal.
370
00:24:42,901 --> 00:24:48,249
Talk about bad luck. We finally play
five-card draw, and I draw the king ofsnee.
371
00:25:28,614 --> 00:25:29,922
[ Mews]
32798
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.