All language subtitles for The Bob Newhart Show s04e05 - The Heavyweights

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:10,891 --> 00:01:12,871 Well, I have some great news. 2 00:01:12,926 --> 00:01:15,304 I lost 1 O pounds since I've been comin' here. 3 00:01:15,362 --> 00:01:17,638 - Very good, Michelle. - I lost one. 4 00:01:19,599 --> 00:01:22,205 - Well, that's-that's almost as good. - Yeah. 5 00:01:22,269 --> 00:01:25,716 I don't see why we even have to call this group the “Overweight Workshop.“ 6 00:01:25,772 --> 00:01:28,412 Look in the mirror. 7 00:01:28,475 --> 00:01:32,184 If you want to change the name of the group, you know what might be cute? 8 00:01:32,245 --> 00:01:35,783 - The Roly-Polies. - [ Laughs] That is cute. 9 00:01:35,849 --> 00:01:39,353 - Or how about the Pudgy-Wudgies. - Yeah, that's cute too. 10 00:01:39,419 --> 00:01:42,059 How about the Big, Fat Tub of Lards? How's that for cute? 11 00:01:42,122 --> 00:01:44,227 He's too rough. 12 00:01:44,291 --> 00:01:47,738 Y-You're being very negative, Mr. de Paolo, and, uh, especially when... 13 00:01:47,794 --> 00:01:50,570 the rest of the group is trying to face up to their problem. 14 00:01:50,630 --> 00:01:53,236 - I don't have a problem. - See, to make any progress at all... 15 00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:55,507 -you-you have to admit it. - Admit what? 16 00:01:55,569 --> 00:01:57,947 A-Admit that you're- 17 00:01:58,004 --> 00:02:00,245 you're not- you're not thin. 18 00:02:00,307 --> 00:02:03,811 - You mean fat? - Well, if you insist... 19 00:02:03,877 --> 00:02:07,882 then, uh, you can ask yourself why- why you're- 20 00:02:07,948 --> 00:02:10,758 - you're that way. - [Michelle] I know why/m that way. 21 00:02:10,817 --> 00:02:13,093 I eat too much. 22 00:02:13,153 --> 00:02:16,396 I wonder if I could say something as a medical man. 23 00:02:16,456 --> 00:02:18,402 Uh, go ahead, Bernie. 24 00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:21,701 If you eat too much, you'll gain weight. 25 00:02:24,097 --> 00:02:26,236 That's good. Good, Bernie. 26 00:02:26,299 --> 00:02:28,870 I blame my weight on my job. 27 00:02:28,935 --> 00:02:30,881 What are ya, an anchor? 28 00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:37,154 Boy, he is rough, isn't he? 29 00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:41,556 I work in a school cafeteria, and I cook hundreds of meals a day. 30 00:02:41,615 --> 00:02:43,652 How many do you eat, 11? 31 00:02:44,818 --> 00:02:48,391 About that. But they are children's portions. 32 00:02:48,455 --> 00:02:51,459 - This whole thing is stupid. - Well, why do you say that, Mr. de Paolo? 33 00:02:51,524 --> 00:02:53,902 'Cause bein' fat ain't the problem. 34 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,440 It's the people out there that hate us 'cause we're fat. 35 00:02:56,496 --> 00:03:01,309 Y-You think there's a prejudice against- against people who are- 36 00:03:01,368 --> 00:03:04,440 are of- of the hefty persuasion? 37 00:03:04,504 --> 00:03:07,781 - They hate our guts. - Boy, is he a downer. 38 00:03:07,841 --> 00:03:10,822 - He sure is. He makes me wanna eat. - Let's go to lunch. 39 00:03:10,877 --> 00:03:14,518 - I don't think that's the answer. - Then let's send out. 40 00:03:14,581 --> 00:03:17,425 Look, Mr. de Paolo, y-you're getting these people depressed... 41 00:03:17,484 --> 00:03:20,363 - a-and now they're thinking about food. - Yeah, and that's not fair. 42 00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:24,197 Yeah, especially now right in the middle of cake season. 43 00:03:24,257 --> 00:03:26,533 I didn't know there was a cake season. 44 00:03:26,593 --> 00:03:30,302 Oh, yeah, it started last month with the Pillsbury Bake-Off. 45 00:03:32,399 --> 00:03:34,504 Well, I'm afraid our time is up. 46 00:03:35,936 --> 00:03:38,576 Uh, Mr. de Paolo, when we meet tomorrow, you might, uh... 47 00:03:38,638 --> 00:03:40,675 try to be more a part of the group. 48 00:03:40,740 --> 00:03:44,153 Yeah, us fat guys have to stick together. 49 00:03:44,210 --> 00:03:47,521 How'd you like it if I stuckyou to the wall? 50 00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:50,459 W-Why don't we just go home and-and try not to think about food? 51 00:03:50,517 --> 00:03:52,793 Ready for lunch, Bob? 52 00:03:52,852 --> 00:03:55,025 L-I don't know what you're talking aboutjerry. 53 00:03:55,088 --> 00:03:57,625 I'm talkin' about lunch. L-U-N-C-H. 54 00:03:57,691 --> 00:04:00,570 Vittles. Chow, Grub. Stuffing one's face. 55 00:04:00,627 --> 00:04:03,608 - I've gotta have something to eat! - Me too. 56 00:04:03,663 --> 00:04:06,667 - Where should we go? - Let's start with the right side of the street. 57 00:04:06,733 --> 00:04:09,373 Uh, I'm gonna stick to my diet, Dr. Hartley. 58 00:04:09,436 --> 00:04:11,416 - Don't you worry. - Good, Michelle. 59 00:04:11,471 --> 00:04:15,317 Yeah, l-l'm just gonna go along with them in a supervisory capacity. 60 00:04:17,644 --> 00:04:20,090 Boy, talk about your “bulkos.“ 61 00:04:20,146 --> 00:04:22,148 Where'd you get that herd of Guernseys? 62 00:04:23,984 --> 00:04:25,930 _Jel»I'y_ - No, really, Bob. 63 00:04:25,986 --> 00:04:28,728 You oughta put a cattle crossing sign out there in reception. 64 00:04:28,788 --> 00:04:31,735 - Réally,jerl_y\ 65 00:04:31,791 --> 00:04:35,637 Jerry, how would you like if I had a group for people with big noses? 66 00:04:36,963 --> 00:04:40,410 Big noses? That's really a cheap shot. 67 00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:42,447 Little insensitive, aren't ya? 68 00:04:42,502 --> 00:04:46,314 - Well, I'm sorryJerry. - Ah, forget it, Bob. 69 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,819 Just go have lunch by yourself, shorty. 70 00:04:58,518 --> 00:05:01,590 How come, uh- How come your piece is bigger than mine? 71 00:05:01,654 --> 00:05:03,998 Well, I didn't think it would make any difference... 72 00:05:04,057 --> 00:05:06,469 after those four servings of beefStroganoffyou had. 73 00:05:06,526 --> 00:05:08,802 Yeah, they were small servings, just like the cheesecake. 74 00:05:08,862 --> 00:05:10,899 Honey, didn't you have any lunch? 75 00:05:10,964 --> 00:05:13,308 - I had a bite. - Oh. 76 00:05:13,366 --> 00:05:16,074 I had a cheeseburger. 77 00:05:16,136 --> 00:05:19,481 And a- a bowl of chili. 78 00:05:20,874 --> 00:05:22,854 A couple enchiladas. 79 00:05:24,711 --> 00:05:27,021 Boy, I'm really putting it away, aren't I? 80 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,220 But I-l only eat like this on my, uh, Overweigh Workshop night. 81 00:05:30,283 --> 00:05:32,456 Well, don't they meet three times a week? 82 00:05:32,519 --> 00:05:34,521 Yeah. 83 00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:39,267 You, uh- Do you have any ice cream or somethin' for this? 84 00:05:39,325 --> 00:05:41,999 Bob, ice cream on cheesecake? 85 00:05:43,329 --> 00:05:45,309 - Okay, hot fudge. _ Oh_ 86 00:05:45,665 --> 00:05:48,168 - [Knocking] - I'll get it. 87 00:05:48,234 --> 00:05:50,510 It could be somebody with a pizza. 88 00:05:52,472 --> 00:05:55,009 Hey, Bob, these tiles won't stick down. 89 00:05:55,075 --> 00:05:57,021 - Hi, Howard. - Oh, hi, Bob. These tiles won't stick down. 90 00:05:57,077 --> 00:06:00,786 - Hi, Howard. - Oh, hi, Emily. These tiles won't stick down. 91 00:06:00,847 --> 00:06:03,088 How are those tiles workin' out, Howard? 92 00:06:03,149 --> 00:06:05,527 They're lousy. I'm putting down a new kitchen floor... 93 00:06:05,585 --> 00:06:07,587 and they won't stick, they- they slide. 94 00:06:07,654 --> 00:06:11,397 - Let me see that. - I, uh- I need your barbells. 95 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:14,928 - For what? - You know, for weight to keep the tiles stuck down. 96 00:06:14,994 --> 00:06:17,270 Why don't you just roll your piano over 'em? 97 00:06:18,932 --> 00:06:22,038 - I don't have a piano. - I don't have any barbells. 98 00:06:25,338 --> 00:06:28,376 Could you just maybejump up and down on 'em with me? 99 00:06:28,441 --> 00:06:30,478 Gee, I'd love to, Howard. But I promised Emily... 100 00:06:30,543 --> 00:06:32,682 I'djump up and down on our tiles tonight. 101 00:06:33,713 --> 00:06:35,693 Howard, I don't know why they slide. 102 00:06:35,748 --> 00:06:38,422 They're really sticky when you peel the paper back. 103 00:06:53,199 --> 00:06:55,145 Excuse me. 104 00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:03,818 Well, that, uh, walk to the door really made me hungry. 105 00:07:05,311 --> 00:07:07,416 You, uh- You gonna finish your cheesecake? 106 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:11,155 - Bob! - Well, Emily, it's the middle of the cake season. 107 00:07:11,217 --> 00:07:14,391 Honey, are you trying to become the fattest member of your group? 108 00:07:14,454 --> 00:07:16,525 Well, I-l don't know. Maybe I am. 109 00:07:16,589 --> 00:07:20,594 I mean, I- I've never been fat. I don't know how to relate to those people. 110 00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:23,539 I mean, I don't know what it's like to be fat. 111 00:07:23,596 --> 00:07:26,736 Well, why don't you ask Carol? Didn't she use to be fat? 112 00:07:26,799 --> 00:07:29,541 Yeah, she lost over 1 O0 pounds. 113 00:07:29,602 --> 00:07:31,843 Well, why don't you ask her to sit in on your group? 114 00:07:33,206 --> 00:07:35,618 - That's not a bad idea. - It's a great idea. 115 00:07:35,675 --> 00:07:37,712 - Not bad. - It's great. 116 00:07:37,777 --> 00:07:40,155 It's an all-right idea. 117 00:07:40,213 --> 00:07:43,353 It's great. 118 00:07:43,416 --> 00:07:46,056 It's okay. 119 00:07:46,119 --> 00:07:48,258 You, uh, gonna finish that cheesecake or not? 120 00:07:49,923 --> 00:07:51,869 It's a great idea, Bob. 121 00:07:56,996 --> 00:07:58,998 It's a great idea, Emily. 122 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:06,644 - [ Muttering] It's a good idea. - Hmm? 123 00:08:06,706 --> 00:08:08,652 Nothing. 124 00:08:17,984 --> 00:08:20,988 You know, Bob, if you get really good at chair-roping like that... 125 00:08:21,054 --> 00:08:24,228 you probably wanna try your hand at riding the Brahma sofa. 126 00:08:25,825 --> 00:08:28,203 Jer, I'm just getting ready for my Overweight Workshop. 127 00:08:28,261 --> 00:08:32,403 I don't wanna get hit by a lawsuit in case one of these chairs collapses. 128 00:08:32,465 --> 00:08:35,173 What time do they waddle in? [ Chuckling] 129 00:08:35,235 --> 00:08:37,613 - Jer, I'm not gonna tell you again. - Yeah, yeah! Sure, sure. 130 00:08:37,670 --> 00:08:39,616 - Sure, Bob. - What do you wanLjer? 131 00:08:39,672 --> 00:08:41,879 Two bucks, if you wanna get in the office pool... 132 00:08:41,941 --> 00:08:43,978 for the Bears-Dolphins game on Sunday. 133 00:08:44,043 --> 00:08:46,990 No, I don't think so. I don't like the pools. They're much too complicated. 134 00:08:47,046 --> 00:08:49,219 Oh, no, Bob. This one isn't. All you do... 135 00:08:49,282 --> 00:08:52,388 is pick the winning point between one and nine, you take the total score... 136 00:08:52,452 --> 00:08:54,830 and, uh, subtract by five or multiples thereof. 137 00:08:54,887 --> 00:08:56,833 - You with me so far? - No. 138 00:08:56,889 --> 00:09:00,427 Okay, let's say the winning score is 35, uh, to 17. 139 00:09:00,493 --> 00:09:02,769 - Now, the difference there is, uh, 16. - Eighteen. 140 00:09:02,829 --> 00:09:06,436 - Five from that is 11. Five from that is- - Six. 141 00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:10,173 Six! So if your winning number was six... 142 00:09:10,236 --> 00:09:12,477 - then you'd be the winner. - Okay, I'll take six. 143 00:09:12,538 --> 00:09:14,279 I've got six. 144 00:09:14,340 --> 00:09:15,751 Then I don't wanna play. 145 00:09:16,376 --> 00:09:18,947 Hi, Bob. Where should I put the scale? 146 00:09:19,012 --> 00:09:21,049 Uh, put it right there, Bernie. 147 00:09:23,283 --> 00:09:25,820 I brought it over from the urology lab. 148 00:09:25,885 --> 00:09:29,355 No springs. Honest weight. And I'm gonna keep everybody's record. 149 00:09:29,422 --> 00:09:31,629 - You the, uh, keeper of the fat, Bernie? - Right. 150 00:09:31,691 --> 00:09:35,002 And everybody who gains has to put a quarter in thisjar. 151 00:09:38,264 --> 00:09:41,734 Bernie, this is a brand-newjar, isn't it? 152 00:09:41,801 --> 00:09:43,747 Of course it is. 153 00:09:44,971 --> 00:09:46,917 Okay, let's see. Uh, now, last week... 154 00:09:46,973 --> 00:09:48,975 I weighed 184. 155 00:09:49,042 --> 00:09:52,216 And this week I weigh... 185? 156 00:09:52,278 --> 00:09:55,225 - You gained a pound, Bernie. - Oh, I know what it is. 157 00:09:55,281 --> 00:09:57,659 Here, Bob. Hold my glasses. 158 00:09:57,717 --> 00:09:59,719 Bernie, your glasses don't weigh a pound. 159 00:09:59,786 --> 00:10:01,891 Oh, I know. I'm just gonna take off my clothes. 160 00:10:01,954 --> 00:10:05,060 B-Bernie, I don't wanna see you naked. 161 00:10:07,193 --> 00:10:09,195 I'm with Bob on this one. 162 00:10:09,262 --> 00:10:12,505 ! gotta go- 163 00:10:12,565 --> 00:10:14,943 Uh,just let me pop through here. Ooh! 164 00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:16,947 Watch it. 165 00:10:17,003 --> 00:10:19,449 Thank you very fat. 166 00:10:19,505 --> 00:10:23,214 Thank you very much. Much. I'm sorry. 167 00:10:23,276 --> 00:10:26,052 - Okay, everybody weigh in. - Me first. 168 00:10:26,112 --> 00:10:28,251 It don't go up that high. 169 00:10:28,314 --> 00:10:30,555 Oh, yes, it does. Oh, look! 170 00:10:30,616 --> 00:10:34,530 - Look, I've lost four pounds. - Wow, look out, Twiggy. 171 00:10:36,155 --> 00:10:39,136 Well, here I am, Slenderella... 172 00:10:39,192 --> 00:10:41,763 ready to inspire this group to new lows. 173 00:10:41,828 --> 00:10:43,774 - What's she doin' here? - She works here. 174 00:10:43,830 --> 00:10:45,867 - She entitled. - She don't work in this office. 175 00:10:45,932 --> 00:10:48,708 No, I-I- I asked Carol to sit in. 176 00:10:48,768 --> 00:10:51,009 Gee, it's a little crowded. Maybe next week... 177 00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:53,414 you should meet at Soldier's Field. 178 00:10:53,473 --> 00:10:56,647 Oh, I get it, Dr. Hartley. You brought in a fat-bigot. 179 00:10:56,709 --> 00:10:59,053 - Heckle therapy. - No, no. 180 00:10:59,112 --> 00:11:01,718 I had a reason for bringing Carol in. You see, Carol used to be- 181 00:11:01,781 --> 00:11:03,954 - Fat. - Right. 182 00:11:04,016 --> 00:11:06,394 I've lost 116 pounds since I graduated from high school. 183 00:11:06,452 --> 00:11:08,398 Michelle} You musfve been enormous. 184 00:11:08,454 --> 00:11:12,231 I graduated “magma cum lard.” 185 00:11:12,291 --> 00:11:15,670 You should've seen Carol when she showed up for thejob interview. 186 00:11:15,728 --> 00:11:18,106 We hired her because we were afraid she would leave... 187 00:11:18,164 --> 00:11:21,077 and snap one of the, uh- one of the elevator cables. 188 00:11:25,471 --> 00:11:27,417 Well, you've all been in the elevator. 189 00:11:27,473 --> 00:11:30,682 You know they wouldn't actually snap. I- I was just- 190 00:11:30,743 --> 00:11:33,747 Losing weight has changed my life completely. 191 00:11:33,813 --> 00:11:36,692 When I was fat, I never got telephone calls from men. 192 00:11:36,749 --> 00:11:40,196 Now, there's any number of men I can call. 193 00:11:40,253 --> 00:11:44,531 I'm sick of this. It's easy to sit there and makejokes. 194 00:11:44,590 --> 00:11:46,763 Bet you didn't make manyjokes when you were fat. 195 00:11:46,826 --> 00:11:48,806 I didn't have to. I was thejoke. 196 00:11:48,861 --> 00:11:51,865 Well, see, Carol couldn't make jokes unless she liked all of us. 197 00:11:51,931 --> 00:11:54,571 And neither could I. I mean, you know, what I said about- 198 00:11:54,634 --> 00:11:56,580 about breaking the elevator cable- 199 00:11:56,636 --> 00:11:58,946 You know, it wouldn't actually snap- snap the cable. 200 00:11:59,005 --> 00:12:02,179 - It's just that, uh- - Yeah, yeah. We understand, Dr. Hartley. 201 00:12:02,241 --> 00:12:05,484 You mean to tell me that you like us even though we're grotesque? 202 00:12:05,545 --> 00:12:08,890 You're not grotesque. And, yes, I do like you. And I mean that. 203 00:12:08,948 --> 00:12:11,189 Oh, yeah? Then how 'bout goin' out with me tonight? 204 00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:13,196 - Go out? - Yeah. On a date. 205 00:12:13,252 --> 00:12:15,493 - Well, w- - Yes orno? 206 00:12:15,555 --> 00:12:17,899 Oh, I'd love to, but I can't. 207 00:12:17,957 --> 00:12:20,233 - It's because I'm fat, isn't it? - No! 208 00:12:20,293 --> 00:12:22,239 Uh- 209 00:12:22,295 --> 00:12:24,741 Dr. Hartley won't allow me to go out with his patients. 210 00:12:24,797 --> 00:12:27,869 - Will you, Dr. Hartley? - Th-That's right, Mr. de Paolo. 211 00:12:27,934 --> 00:12:30,175 I let my nurses go out with my patients. 212 00:12:30,236 --> 00:12:33,581 - If Carol wanna go, I thinkyou oughta let her go. - it's her life. 213 00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:40,718 Well, in-in this case, I'll- I'll make an exception. 214 00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:43,454 I'll pickyou up at 9:00. What's your address? 215 00:12:43,516 --> 00:12:46,827 I don't know. It's in an apartment somewhere. 216 00:12:46,886 --> 00:12:50,060 Well, I-l think we're getting a good start today. 217 00:12:50,122 --> 00:12:55,765 We found out that, uh- that Carol doesn't dislike us because we're- 218 00:12:55,828 --> 00:12:57,774 we're not- we're not thin. 219 00:12:57,830 --> 00:13:01,209 And also-l thinkjust as important- we've learned that, uh... 220 00:13:01,267 --> 00:13:04,976 the cable on an elevator can- can stand a tremendous amount of- 221 00:13:06,506 --> 00:13:10,784 of pressure without, uh- without snapping. 222 00:13:23,189 --> 00:13:25,863 Emily, what, uh- what are you doing? 223 00:13:25,925 --> 00:13:28,997 Oh. I'm trying to get this patio door to close all the way. 224 00:13:29,061 --> 00:13:32,133 - Why? - Well, the, uh, crowd on the street was divided. 225 00:13:32,198 --> 00:13:34,974 They, uh- Some of them thought you were a window washer... 226 00:13:35,034 --> 00:13:38,208 three though you were a cat burglar, and, uh, one guy just kept saying... 227 00:13:38,271 --> 00:13:41,514 “She's got a nice rear end on her.“ 228 00:13:41,574 --> 00:13:43,884 - Yeah, which guy? - Me. 229 00:13:43,943 --> 00:13:45,889 Oh. [Chuckles] 230 00:13:45,945 --> 00:13:48,323 - Here, let me see ifcan close it. - Yeah. 231 00:13:49,382 --> 00:13:51,521 Okay, folks. It's all over! 232 00:13:53,052 --> 00:13:55,623 See if you can lock it. 233 00:13:55,688 --> 00:13:57,861 Oh. 234 00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:00,666 Oh! That's perfect, Bob. 235 00:14:00,726 --> 00:14:02,899 - [Knocking] - Oh. 236 00:14:04,964 --> 00:14:07,103 - Oh, hi, Howard. - Oh, hi, Emily. 237 00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:10,841 I just wanted to tell you that the tiles are holding fine. 238 00:14:10,903 --> 00:14:13,406 - They really stick once you get the paper off. - Ah. 239 00:14:13,472 --> 00:14:15,474 I thought they would. 240 00:14:15,541 --> 00:14:19,318 The one that stuck best is the one that stuck on the refrigerator. 241 00:14:34,393 --> 00:14:37,135 Uh, Emily. Bob's out there. 242 00:14:37,196 --> 00:14:39,176 You can let him in, Howard. 243 00:14:42,868 --> 00:14:44,848 [Strains] 244 00:14:46,238 --> 00:14:48,479 - Thanks, Howard. - This door's stuck. 245 00:14:48,541 --> 00:14:51,545 - Yeah, I know. - Yeah, I can fix that. I'm real handy. 246 00:14:51,611 --> 00:14:55,457 But, uh, right now I gotta go and get the, uh, tile off the refrigerator. 247 00:14:55,514 --> 00:14:58,961 Oh, Bob, how do you get a tile off a- of a refrigerator? 248 00:14:59,018 --> 00:15:01,692 Use tile bait. 249 00:15:03,422 --> 00:15:04,696 Oh. 250 00:15:07,727 --> 00:15:10,640 Boy, dinner smells good. I'm starved. 251 00:15:10,696 --> 00:15:12,698 Did you have your overweight group today? 252 00:15:12,765 --> 00:15:15,905 - Yeah. - How'd Carol work out? 253 00:15:15,968 --> 00:15:18,608 - Not great. - Really? 254 00:15:18,671 --> 00:15:21,675 Gee, I don't understand that. It was such a great idea. 255 00:15:21,741 --> 00:15:25,518 Well, Mr. de Paolo asked her out on a date, and I sorta had to let it happen. 256 00:15:25,578 --> 00:15:29,048 Maybe it'll work out all right. I mean, maybe under all that tonnage... 257 00:15:29,115 --> 00:15:31,618 is Carol's Mr. Right. 258 00:15:33,185 --> 00:15:37,065 Emily, would you, uh- would you still love me if I were... fat? 259 00:15:37,123 --> 00:15:39,501 I do. 260 00:15:39,558 --> 00:15:44,064 I mean, £21' fat. You know, Guinness Book of World Records fat. 261 00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:46,269 You know, out to here fat. 262 00:15:46,332 --> 00:15:49,211 Sure. I had a boyfriend once who was fat. 263 00:15:49,268 --> 00:15:51,214 Mark Sistrunk. 264 00:15:51,270 --> 00:15:53,250 - Oh, really? - Yeah, he was- he was huge. 265 00:15:53,305 --> 00:15:55,581 He weighed 280 pounds, and I was real skinny. 266 00:15:55,641 --> 00:15:57,780 You know what people used to say when Mark and I... 267 00:15:57,843 --> 00:15:59,880 - used to walk down the street together? - What? 268 00:15:59,945 --> 00:16:02,152 “Here comes Mark.“ 269 00:16:02,214 --> 00:16:04,490 [Phone Ringing] 270 00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:06,496 I'll get it. 271 00:16:08,421 --> 00:16:11,925 Oh, hi, Carol. Carol, why are you yelling at me? 272 00:16:13,359 --> 00:16:17,068 C-Carol, it's only one evening. It's only one date. 273 00:16:17,129 --> 00:16:20,804 Look, y-you'll have dinner, you'll go to a movie... 274 00:16:20,866 --> 00:16:23,506 probably another dinner, and then- 275 00:16:23,569 --> 00:16:25,515 then home. 276 00:16:26,639 --> 00:16:29,483 Well, what- what are the plans? 277 00:16:29,542 --> 00:16:32,785 The Venus Adult Theater. 278 00:16:32,845 --> 00:16:34,791 And then to his apartment. 279 00:16:36,048 --> 00:16:38,324 Well, C-Carol, you don't have to do that. 280 00:16:38,384 --> 00:16:40,330 You know, strike a compromise. 281 00:16:41,353 --> 00:16:43,424 That was the compromise. 282 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:48,402 Wh-What was his original suggestion? 283 00:16:49,829 --> 00:16:52,867 Oh, my God. 284 00:16:52,932 --> 00:16:56,277 Years from now, you'!!- you'll look back on this and- and smile. 285 00:16:57,870 --> 00:17:00,680 Well, I don't know. Sixty, 7O years. 286 00:17:02,241 --> 00:17:04,482 G-Good luck, Carol. 287 00:17:04,543 --> 00:17:08,355 Bob, what was Mr. de Paoids original suggestion? 288 00:17:08,414 --> 00:17:12,726 Well, I don't wanna go into detail, but it involved... 289 00:17:12,785 --> 00:17:14,765 a zebra suit and, uh... 290 00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:16,766 some rubber boots. 291 00:17:18,023 --> 00:17:20,594 - Oh, my God. - That's what I said. 292 00:17:20,659 --> 00:17:23,162 Let me- Let me see if I can fix this door. 293 00:17:23,229 --> 00:17:25,175 A zebra suit? 294 00:17:26,332 --> 00:17:28,471 Well, I got the tile off the refrigerator. 295 00:17:29,568 --> 00:17:31,605 I used a hammer and a chisel. 296 00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:33,946 Do you have any touch-up paint? 297 00:17:34,006 --> 00:17:36,543 - I'm afraid I don't, Howard. - Oh. 298 00:17:50,790 --> 00:17:53,361 Uh, Emily. Bob's out there again. 299 00:17:53,425 --> 00:17:55,632 I know. He likes it out there. 300 00:18:15,581 --> 00:18:17,720 It is nice out here. 301 00:18:21,086 --> 00:18:23,032 [Knocking] 302 00:18:23,088 --> 00:18:25,568 Coming. 303 00:18:25,624 --> 00:18:27,570 Justa minute. 304 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,471 - Where is he? - Uh, Carol. 305 00:18:31,530 --> 00:18:33,737 - Where's Bob? - Well, uh, honey, he's- 306 00:18:33,799 --> 00:18:35,779 Uh, Carol, Carol! He's getting dressed. 307 00:18:35,835 --> 00:18:37,781 - U“. - You want some breakfast? 308 00:18:37,837 --> 00:18:40,477 I don't care for any breakfast, Emily. I just wanna talk to Bob... 309 00:18:40,539 --> 00:18:42,280 about my date last night! 310 00:18:42,341 --> 00:18:45,754 Oh, uh, Carol- How was the, uh- the movie? 311 00:18:45,811 --> 00:18:49,623 Lady x}? the Barracks? One of the best. 312 00:18:49,682 --> 00:18:52,458 - Hi. How'd it go last night? - I'm not going to work, Bob. 313 00:18:52,518 --> 00:18:54,725 I cannot be in that group and face that man. 314 00:18:54,787 --> 00:18:56,630 All right. I'm- I'm sorry, Carol. 315 00:18:56,689 --> 00:18:59,670 You used me, Bob. I was a pawn... 316 00:18:59,725 --> 00:19:02,535 in your game offat. 317 00:19:02,595 --> 00:19:05,303 Look I-l made a mistake, and-and I know it. 318 00:19:05,364 --> 00:19:08,902 And I'm gonna tell you whyl did it. 319 00:19:08,968 --> 00:19:12,438 - Um, I remember when you were- - Fat! 320 00:19:12,504 --> 00:19:15,781 Right. And you were very- very sensitive about it. 321 00:19:15,841 --> 00:19:20,347 Well, you see, Bob thought you wouldn't wanna hurt Mr. de Paolo's feelings. 322 00:19:20,412 --> 00:19:22,585 Emily, please. Let me handle this. All right? 323 00:19:24,083 --> 00:19:27,656 And I thought that-that you wouldn't wanna hurt his feelings. 324 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,793 - That was well put, Bob. - I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings, Bob. 325 00:19:31,857 --> 00:19:34,599 And that's why I'm not going in there today, because if I did... 326 00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:36,833 I would really tell him what I think of him. 327 00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:39,137 See, Carol, that's why you should go. 328 00:19:39,198 --> 00:19:42,338 I mean, y-you should face up to him, a-and tell him that. 329 00:19:42,401 --> 00:19:45,905 A-And I'll be right beside you in case, you know, things get out of hand. 330 00:19:45,971 --> 00:19:47,951 You mean, if he tries to sit on me? 331 00:19:48,007 --> 00:19:49,953 - Good luck. - Thanks. 332 00:19:50,009 --> 00:19:53,752 And, uh, honey, I'll make reservations for us at thejameson House for dinner, huh? 333 00:19:53,812 --> 00:19:56,486 - And maybe we'll go to a movie? - What movie you wanna see? 334 00:19:56,548 --> 00:19:58,550 Why don't you see, uh, Lady x}? the Barracks? 335 00:19:58,617 --> 00:20:01,257 Laughs 1 Bob would love that. 336 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,630 I like army movies. 337 00:20:03,689 --> 00:20:05,999 What, uh- What time does it start? 338 00:20:06,058 --> 00:20:08,095 Every seven minutes. 339 00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:18,145 Listen, uh, why don't we weigh in while we're waiting for Bob to show up? 340 00:20:18,203 --> 00:20:22,811 - I already weighed in. I gained five pounds. - That'll cost you a quarter. 341 00:20:22,875 --> 00:20:25,481 - I'm not payin'! What do ya think of that? - Fine. 342 00:20:25,544 --> 00:20:27,717 Anything over 300 pounds is free. 343 00:20:29,581 --> 00:20:33,791 C-Carol just wanted to, uh- to freshen up a little bit. 344 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,900 Now, what, uh- 345 00:20:36,956 --> 00:20:38,902 What were we talking about? 346 00:20:38,958 --> 00:20:41,734 I think it had something to do with fat. 347 00:20:41,794 --> 00:20:45,674 Well, I think we can start on a positive note and be encouraged with our progress. 348 00:20:45,731 --> 00:20:47,574 Well, I'm certainly encouraged. 349 00:20:47,633 --> 00:20:50,204 What for? You still look like you swallowed a Volkswagen. 350 00:20:50,269 --> 00:20:53,648 - He's rougher than rough. - The roughest. 351 00:20:53,706 --> 00:20:57,210 Look, uh, Mr. de Paolo, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to... 352 00:20:57,276 --> 00:20:59,222 get a little rough myself today. 353 00:20:59,278 --> 00:21:03,226 Uh, I didn't wanna say this to you, but I'm, uh- 354 00:21:03,282 --> 00:21:05,262 I'm afraid I have no choice. 355 00:21:06,885 --> 00:21:09,195 Go ahead, Carol. 356 00:21:09,254 --> 00:21:11,234 Me? 357 00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:13,736 Didn't you have something you wanted to tell Mr. de Paolo? 358 00:21:13,792 --> 00:21:15,931 I'll write him a letter. 359 00:21:15,995 --> 00:21:18,305 Hey, weren't you two supposed to go out on a date? 360 00:21:18,364 --> 00:21:20,901 - Yeah, how did it go? - We had the time of our lives. 361 00:21:20,966 --> 00:21:24,778 - No, we didn't. - Sure, we did. Why are we goin' out tonight? 362 00:21:24,837 --> 00:21:27,113 - We're not. - Well, then, tomorrow night. 363 00:21:27,172 --> 00:21:30,278 No. No, I am never going out with you again. Y- 364 00:21:30,342 --> 00:21:33,516 You are a rude, ill-mannered, arrogant creep. 365 00:21:33,579 --> 00:21:37,049 - What you really mean is I'm fat. - Fat has nothing to do with it. 366 00:21:37,116 --> 00:21:39,892 You are just obnoxious. 367 00:21:39,952 --> 00:21:43,092 - Talk about rough. - Look, Leonard... 368 00:21:43,155 --> 00:21:45,101 what I mean is that, uh... 369 00:21:45,157 --> 00:21:49,299 fat can be fun, fat can be considerate, fat can be gentle. 370 00:21:49,361 --> 00:21:52,103 What do you think about that, Mr. de Paolo? 371 00:21:52,164 --> 00:21:54,201 She's playin' hard to get. 372 00:21:55,934 --> 00:22:00,713 Look, M-Mr. de Paolo, uh, no one can be as nasty as you pretend to be... 373 00:22:00,773 --> 00:22:04,277 unless they- they really wanted to be disliked. 374 00:22:04,343 --> 00:22:06,482 Well, I figure everybodys gonna hate me anyway... 375 00:22:06,545 --> 00:22:09,082 sol might as well beat 'em to the punch. 376 00:22:09,148 --> 00:22:12,561 - That's- That's good, Mr. de Paolo. - What's good about it? 377 00:22:12,618 --> 00:22:14,655 Well, now that you realize y-you're repulsive... 378 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,893 we-we can work on that. 379 00:22:16,955 --> 00:22:19,902 This is the roughest session I've ever been in. 380 00:22:19,958 --> 00:22:22,097 I love it. 381 00:22:22,161 --> 00:22:25,506 Uh, well, now that I've said what I have to say, if you'll excuse me- 382 00:22:25,564 --> 00:22:29,068 Carol, before you go, I- 383 00:22:29,134 --> 00:22:31,239 I just want to tell you I- 384 00:22:31,303 --> 00:22:33,442 Well, I appreciate your honesty. 385 00:22:33,505 --> 00:22:37,351 - It took a lot of guts. - Thanks. 386 00:22:37,409 --> 00:22:39,946 - And I'm really gonna change. - I hope so. 387 00:22:40,012 --> 00:22:41,855 - What about tomorrow night? - No. 388 00:22:41,914 --> 00:22:43,120 - I'll be gentle. - No! 389 00:22:43,182 --> 00:22:46,459 Okay, but I'm really a different person than the guy... 390 00:22:46,518 --> 00:22:49,522 that tried to climb up the side of your apartment building. 391 00:22:50,823 --> 00:22:53,201 - When was that? - This morning. You weren't home. 392 00:22:53,258 --> 00:22:56,137 - I'm sorry I missed you. - Uh, Carol- 393 00:22:56,195 --> 00:22:59,142 I promise I'm gonna work hard to change my ways. 394 00:22:59,198 --> 00:23:01,144 Good! 395 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,044 You know, Mr. de Paolo, I'm, uh- I'm really proud of you. 396 00:23:04,103 --> 00:23:06,947 Yeah, I... feel pretty good myself. 397 00:23:07,005 --> 00:23:10,646 And-And I appreciate the encouragement y'all given me. 398 00:23:10,709 --> 00:23:13,349 - Leonard- - Yeah, Louise? 399 00:23:13,412 --> 00:23:16,723 I'm not doing anything tomorrow night. 400 00:23:16,782 --> 00:23:19,388 [Chuckles] Waita minute. 401 00:23:19,451 --> 00:23:21,397 Just 'cause I'm Mr. Nice Guy... 402 00:23:21,453 --> 00:23:23,399 doesn't suddenly mean I went blind. 403 00:23:25,424 --> 00:23:28,871 I mean, Leonard de Paolo don't go out with no blimps. 404 00:23:31,530 --> 00:23:34,511 Well, I-l think that set us back about two weeks. 405 00:23:36,168 --> 00:23:38,239 Helpyourself to the Kleenex, Louise. 406 00:23:38,303 --> 00:23:40,613 [No Audible Dialogue] 407 00:23:45,477 --> 00:23:49,084 Well, Bob, you're probably dying to hear the results of the football pool. 408 00:23:49,148 --> 00:23:51,150 Jerry, that was Sunday. This is Wednesday. 409 00:23:51,216 --> 00:23:53,856 - Yeah, it was kinda complicated. - Who- Who won the pool? 410 00:23:53,919 --> 00:23:57,264 I never did figure that out. So I'm refunding everybody's dollar. Here. 411 00:23:57,322 --> 00:23:59,359 _ Uh' $ - $2i§e”Y- 412 00:23:59,424 --> 00:24:02,166 - That's right. - Boy, did I get taken. 413 00:24:02,227 --> 00:24:04,400 You sure didJerry. I didn't, uh- 414 00:24:04,463 --> 00:24:06,409 I didn't get in the pool, remember? 415 00:24:06,465 --> 00:24:09,469 Hey! Right. Well, uh, give me the dollar back. 416 00:24:09,535 --> 00:24:11,481 Great. 417 00:24:11,537 --> 00:24:13,539 Thanks for being so honest, Bob. 418 00:24:19,311 --> 00:24:21,416 - Hi, dear. - Hi, Emily. What's up? 419 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,619 Well, I thought we'd have lunch together. 420 00:24:23,682 --> 00:24:26,356 Uh, greatjust, uh, let me weigh myself. 421 00:24:26,418 --> 00:24:29,422 Careful, Bob. Don't break it. [Chuckles] 422 00:24:34,326 --> 00:24:36,272 Down a halfa pound. 423 00:24:36,328 --> 00:24:39,707 - Okay, your turn. - Oh, that's not necessary. 424 00:24:39,765 --> 00:24:42,405 It would be like weighing feathers. [Chuckles] 425 00:24:42,467 --> 00:24:44,640 - {Wood Splinters] - Ooh! 426 00:24:51,009 --> 00:24:53,011 - Hey, what happened in here? - NothingJerry. 427 00:24:53,078 --> 00:24:55,684 Just-j ust feathers. 428 00:25:30,182 --> 00:25:31,490 [ Mews] 35082

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.