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1
00:00:48,535 --> 00:00:50,537
Well, good-bye, Dr. Hartley.
2
00:00:50,604 --> 00:00:54,643
I'm sorry that you're not sensitive enough
to help me with my problems.
3
00:00:56,443 --> 00:01:00,152
Well, urn, I really feel that your
nearsightedness isn't a psychological problem.
4
00:01:02,249 --> 00:01:04,195
It's just that you need glasses.
5
00:01:04,251 --> 00:01:06,197
That's ridiculous.
6
00:01:06,253 --> 00:01:10,030
And I know there's a psychologist
who can help me, and I'll find him.
7
00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:13,071
No matter what I do, I'll find him.
8
00:01:16,897 --> 00:01:19,343
- See, that- that's what I mean.
- What?
9
00:01:19,399 --> 00:01:21,242
[Elevator Dings]
10
00:01:23,436 --> 00:01:26,815
N-Nothing.
Well, good-bye, Mrs. Engelhart.
11
00:01:26,873 --> 00:01:30,320
Good-bye. Hello. Hello.
12
00:01:31,878 --> 00:01:34,586
- Carol.
- Over here, Bob.
13
00:01:34,648 --> 00:01:36,594
Yeah, I know.
14
00:01:36,650 --> 00:01:38,652
- Lost another one, huh?
- What do you mean?
15
00:01:38,718 --> 00:01:42,996
Oh, well, that's the second patient in two days
that hasn't taken your advice.
16
00:01:43,056 --> 00:01:45,036
Oh, no. No.
Mr. Milikin was different.
17
00:01:45,091 --> 00:01:48,402
- He liked my advice. He just hated my guts.
- Oh. Oh.
18
00:01:48,461 --> 00:01:52,375
Uh, Mr. Peterson should be here by now.
Where is he?
19
00:01:52,432 --> 00:01:54,469
- He canceled.
- Him too, huh?
20
00:01:54,534 --> 00:01:57,777
- Yeah.
- When's, uh- When's my next appointment?
21
00:01:57,838 --> 00:02:02,048
Uh, day after tomorrow at 3:00.
22
00:02:03,610 --> 00:02:06,022
Nothing until then?
23
00:02:06,079 --> 00:02:08,025
Zilch.
24
00:02:08,081 --> 00:02:12,530
Carol, does it seem to you, the past couple
of weeks, things have been a little slow?
25
00:02:12,586 --> 00:02:15,465
Oh, Bob, come on.
It could bejust a lull.
26
00:02:15,522 --> 00:02:19,698
There's no such thing as a lull
for people with psychological problems.
27
00:02:21,261 --> 00:02:25,607
- When's, uh- When's the next full moon?
- Oh, Bob!
28
00:02:25,665 --> 00:02:27,611
Now, Bob, listen to me.
29
00:02:27,667 --> 00:02:31,171
Don't you worry about your business
falling off. Things arejust tough all over.
30
00:02:31,238 --> 00:02:33,275
You know,
the whole country's in a slump.
31
00:02:33,340 --> 00:02:36,549
Okay, Terry, remember, that's a metal retainer,
so don't use your electric toothbrush...
32
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:39,090
and make sure your mother
brings you again next Thursday.
33
00:02:39,145 --> 00:02:41,989
Carol, next Thursday we need that thing tightened.
See if you can fit her in.
34
00:02:42,048 --> 00:02:45,222
Also order me a dozen new X-ray plates,
a gross of cotton swabs...
35
00:02:45,285 --> 00:02:48,289
and, uh, a cheeseburger.
36
00:02:48,355 --> 00:02:50,631
- [E/e vator Ding; ]
- Oh,jer.
37
00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:54,934
- Yeah? Oh, Stevie andjay. Uh,
who goes first there? - Stevie.
38
00:02:54,995 --> 00:02:57,771
- Okay, Stevie, here we go, young-
- Hey, Fmjay!
39
00:02:57,831 --> 00:03:00,835
Youiejay! Right.
Stevie, right this way.
40
00:03:00,901 --> 00:03:03,438
Uh,jerry seems to be weathering
the slump very nicely.
41
00:03:03,503 --> 00:03:07,178
Well, Bob, teeth are different.
They're not a slump item.
42
00:03:08,942 --> 00:03:13,015
Well, I think I'll go in my office
and slump in my chair.
43
00:03:13,079 --> 00:03:17,619
- Lay would you like something to read
while you're waiting? - I don't think so.
44
00:03:17,684 --> 00:03:20,187
You, uh-
You want to talk about it?
45
00:03:24,257 --> 00:03:26,203
I'll be in my office.
46
00:03:26,259 --> 00:03:28,762
My name is still on the directory
downstairs, isn't it?
47
00:03:28,828 --> 00:03:31,331
- Yes, it is.
- Good.
48
00:03:37,504 --> 00:03:40,451
You're- You're sure you don't want
to talk about anything?
49
00:03:44,778 --> 00:03:48,157
- Hi, Bob.
- Hi, honey. What are you doing home?
50
00:03:48,214 --> 00:03:52,685
I came home to get my sneakers and my
binoculars. I'm taking the kids on a field trip.
51
00:03:52,752 --> 00:03:56,700
You know, I haven't been on a field trip in years.
Maybe I'll just tag along.
52
00:03:56,756 --> 00:04:00,829
Great. We're gonna look under rocks
for night crawlers and salamanders.
53
00:04:00,894 --> 00:04:04,899
- How 'bout snakes?
- No, we 're not gonna look forsnakes.
54
00:04:04,965 --> 00:04:07,411
Then I don't want to go.
55
00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:10,812
Bob, you want me
to fix you some lunch?
56
00:04:10,870 --> 00:04:14,147
Yeah. I'll be finished with breakfast
in a few minutes.
57
00:04:14,207 --> 00:04:16,153
It's 1 O after 12:00.
58
00:04:16,209 --> 00:04:18,917
I only have eight after.
59
00:04:18,979 --> 00:04:21,983
It's still a little late
to be having breakfast.
60
00:04:22,048 --> 00:04:25,860
I got caught up reading
the back of the cereal box.
61
00:04:25,919 --> 00:04:28,695
Did you know that Crater Puffs
were invented entirely by accident?
62
00:04:28,755 --> 00:04:30,496
No, I didn't know that.
63
00:04:30,557 --> 00:04:33,800
It seems this, uh- this Hawaiian
was walking with this ear of corn.
64
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:36,602
He got too close to this volcano.
65
00:04:36,663 --> 00:04:39,439
Boy, what a way to go.
66
00:04:39,499 --> 00:04:43,641
Bob, before I leave, I just want to know-
Are you okay?
67
00:04:43,703 --> 00:04:47,173
- What do you mean?
- You haven't been to the office for two whole days.
68
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,777
A day and a half. I was-
69
00:04:49,843 --> 00:04:52,756
I left at noon yesterday,
and I have Mr. Carlin tomorrow.
70
00:04:52,812 --> 00:04:55,554
Shouldn't you call the office to see
if you have any more appointments?
71
00:04:55,615 --> 00:04:58,186
-I called.
- And?
72
00:04:58,251 --> 00:05:02,825
- Zilch. - Maybe the whole world
has gone stark-raving normal.
73
00:05:02,889 --> 00:05:04,835
- It's just a lull.
-Yeah.
74
00:05:04,891 --> 00:05:06,837
Even geniuses have lulls.
75
00:05:06,893 --> 00:05:11,740
Look at the Wright Brothers.
They invented flight, and then zilch.
76
00:05:22,475 --> 00:05:26,753
Uh, operator, what number
do you dial for the correct time?
77
00:05:27,847 --> 00:05:31,226
Oh, thank you.
That's very nice of you.
78
00:05:31,284 --> 00:05:33,764
L-I guess I was two minutes slow.
79
00:05:33,820 --> 00:05:37,597
I have one of those watches that's only
supposed to lose two minutes every year.
80
00:05:37,657 --> 00:05:40,968
And I guess mine decided
to lose it all in one day.
81
00:05:42,462 --> 00:05:44,408
Hello?
82
00:06:09,656 --> 00:06:12,034
[ Man]
And so, contestants, the question was...
83
00:06:12,092 --> 00:06:15,835
“What do you thinkyour wife would say
is the most obnoxious habit you have?”
84
00:06:15,895 --> 00:06:18,671
- Guy number one?
- I'd say, uh, slurping my soup.
85
00:06:18,731 --> 00:06:22,144
Oh, sorry! According to your wife,
your most obnoxious habit...
86
00:06:22,202 --> 00:06:25,877
is eating buttered corn
and wiping your hands on your pants.
87
00:06:25,939 --> 00:06:28,943
[Contestant]
I haven't done that in a long time.
88
00:06:29,008 --> 00:06:32,512
[Woman]
Are you kidding? Look at the man's pants!
89
00:06:32,579 --> 00:06:35,082
Aw, come on, honey!
90
00:06:35,148 --> 00:06:38,891
[Pounding]
91
00:06:44,624 --> 00:06:46,729
Uh, Howard, what are you doing?
92
00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:50,866
I didn't know you were home. I'm going
out of town. I thought I'd leave a note.
93
00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:54,503
You're hammering tape?
94
00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:56,877
I didn't have a nail.
95
00:07:01,841 --> 00:07:04,344
Come on in, Howard.
Where are you going?
96
00:07:04,410 --> 00:07:07,152
It's all in the note here. Here.
97
00:07:07,213 --> 00:07:09,386
Just read that right there.
98
00:07:10,450 --> 00:07:13,624
“Iv.ORD1800.
99
00:07:13,686 --> 00:07:15,927
“Flt. 'I06 AW.
100
00:07:17,190 --> 00:07:20,660
LAX 1930. Ret. Flt. 106 Wed."
101
00:07:22,128 --> 00:07:25,632
Howard, after I read this,
am I supposed to swallow it?
102
00:07:25,698 --> 00:07:29,168
Uh, no. That's airline talk
for my trip to L.A. and back. I, uh-
103
00:07:30,703 --> 00:07:33,343
What's the matter, Bob?
Are you sick or something?
104
00:07:33,406 --> 00:07:36,512
No. No, I just decided to take
a couple of days off, you know...
105
00:07:36,576 --> 00:07:40,046
sort of catch up on
some important personal things.
106
00:07:41,648 --> 00:07:43,719
What time do you have, Howard?
107
00:07:43,783 --> 00:07:46,389
Uh, 12:22.
108
00:07:47,654 --> 00:07:50,134
You're a minute slow.
109
00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:53,967
Bob, you're out of work, aren't you?
110
00:07:55,528 --> 00:07:58,338
- Of course not.
- Oh, come on. Don't kid me.
111
00:07:58,398 --> 00:08:01,140
I was the same way
when I was out of work.
112
00:08:01,201 --> 00:08:05,047
Synchronizing your watch,
walking around in your bathrobe...
113
00:08:05,104 --> 00:08:07,448
reading the labels ofmayonnaisejars.
114
00:08:07,507 --> 00:08:09,817
Cereal boxes.
115
00:08:09,876 --> 00:08:13,085
Bet you're even listening
to the soap operas.
116
00:08:14,747 --> 00:08:17,751
Woman On TV] My husband thinks
the funniest part of my body is-
117
00:08:17,817 --> 00:08:20,798
- [TVOfi']
- Worse yet-
118
00:08:22,355 --> 00:08:24,301
Game shows.
119
00:08:24,357 --> 00:08:26,963
Howard, I wanted to hear
what that lady said.
120
00:08:27,026 --> 00:08:30,303
Game Show Host] Come on, lady.
You can't say that on television!
121
00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:32,309
Darn it.
122
00:08:33,566 --> 00:08:35,842
Bob, are you sure you're not out of work?
123
00:08:35,902 --> 00:08:38,075
Howard, it's just a lull.
124
00:08:38,137 --> 00:08:41,175
In your profession?
I mean, I can't believe that.
125
00:08:41,241 --> 00:08:43,949
I mean,
this is the golden age of craziness.
126
00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:48,459
Howard, I guess Vvejust, you know,
lost my ability to communicate with people.
127
00:08:48,514 --> 00:08:52,326
Yeah, well, I don't understand
what you're saying.
128
00:08:53,853 --> 00:08:57,528
Just remember, Bob-
the most important thing is...
129
00:08:57,590 --> 00:08:59,797
not to lose your confidence.
130
00:08:59,859 --> 00:09:02,135
When I do,
I always remember these words-
131
00:09:02,195 --> 00:09:05,142
“Even if you stink at what you do...
132
00:09:05,198 --> 00:09:09,305
you can always do something else
you stink less at.“
133
00:09:09,369 --> 00:09:13,181
Those are certainly words to live by,
Howard.
134
00:09:13,239 --> 00:09:15,241
Those were my cousin's words.
135
00:09:15,308 --> 00:09:19,814
He had 15jobs before he decided
to be a tree surgeon.
136
00:09:19,879 --> 00:09:22,359
- And now he's happy?
- No, he's dead.
137
00:09:22,415 --> 00:09:25,362
He, urn, fell out
of one of his patients.
138
00:09:30,456 --> 00:09:34,905
Thanks for coming down, Frank.
I know you're busy, and I appreciate it.
139
00:09:34,961 --> 00:09:39,137
Ah, no problem. Always glad to help a fellow
psychologist in need. What's going on?
140
00:09:39,198 --> 00:09:41,735
Uh, nothing.
That's the- That's the problem.
141
00:09:41,801 --> 00:09:43,803
My practice seems to be dwindling.
142
00:09:43,870 --> 00:09:47,147
Hmm. You mean you're down to,
like,10,15 patients a day, huh?
143
00:09:49,475 --> 00:09:51,819
Well, let's just say it's been dwindling.
144
00:09:51,878 --> 00:09:55,883
You know, I don't know if it's a series
of coincidences or just a temporary lull.
145
00:09:55,948 --> 00:09:58,485
I mean,you know,
look at the Wright Brothers.
146
00:09:58,551 --> 00:10:02,226
- Or it could be you.
- Or it could be me.
147
00:10:02,288 --> 00:10:05,292
Well, that happens.
You know, I talk about that in my book.
148
00:10:05,358 --> 00:10:08,237
Have you read my book,
Fires of the Mind?
149
00:10:09,629 --> 00:10:12,610
Uh, I meant to, but the bookstores
are always sold out.
150
00:10:12,665 --> 00:10:14,941
Well, wait till it gets
off the best-seller list.
151
00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:18,107
Should only be a couple more months.
It's brilliant.
152
00:10:18,171 --> 00:10:20,515
Just quoting the critics.
153
00:10:20,573 --> 00:10:22,519
Well, I'm sure it's very good.
154
00:10:22,575 --> 00:10:25,112
No, it's brilliant.
155
00:10:25,178 --> 00:10:29,558
I think the best way for me to help you
is to observe you with a patient.
156
00:10:29,615 --> 00:10:32,892
Well, I thinkl can
scrounge one up somewhere.
157
00:10:32,952 --> 00:10:37,025
I have a patient coming in in a few minutes-
ifl'm not taking up your time.
158
00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:41,402
- I'll take the time.
- Now, Frank, I-l want to payyou for this.
159
00:10:41,461 --> 00:10:44,067
- Oh, come on, Bob. That's not necessary.
- Frank, I-l insist.
160
00:10:44,130 --> 00:10:48,101
- I want to pay you whatever you get per hour.
- Okay, if it'll make you happy.
161
00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:52,206
- I mean, what can it be- $35?
- [ Laughs]
162
00:10:55,641 --> 00:10:58,144
Forty-five dollars?
163
00:10:59,846 --> 00:11:02,224
Fif- Fifty-five dollars?
164
00:11:02,281 --> 00:11:05,592
Forget about it.
just take me out to dinner sometime.
165
00:11:05,651 --> 00:11:07,892
Wh-Where, Paris?
166
00:11:08,888 --> 00:11:10,890
[Intercom Buzzing
167
00:11:11,991 --> 00:11:14,733
- Yes, Carol?
- Your patient's here, Bob.
168
00:11:14,794 --> 00:11:16,796
Oh, uh, thank you. Send him in.
169
00:11:16,863 --> 00:11:20,242
- Frank,just give me a minute to tell
him you'll be observing. - Fine.
170
00:11:20,299 --> 00:11:22,905
Just let me know when you're ready.
171
00:11:22,969 --> 00:11:24,915
Hi. How are you?
172
00:11:26,906 --> 00:11:28,908
What's the matter with him?
173
00:11:30,243 --> 00:11:33,247
Why'd he say that? Who is he?
174
00:11:33,312 --> 00:11:36,486
Uh, he's a friend of mine,
and he's a psychologist.
175
00:11:36,549 --> 00:11:40,156
And if it's okay for you,
I'd like to let him sit in on our session.
176
00:11:40,219 --> 00:11:42,961
What is this? Gang therapy?
177
00:11:45,258 --> 00:11:47,898
No. A lot of psychologists do this.
178
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,201
It- We kind of help each other out.
179
00:11:50,263 --> 00:11:54,370
While you're helping each other out,
who helps me?
180
00:11:54,434 --> 00:11:56,675
Well, we both do, if you'll let us.
181
00:11:58,070 --> 00:12:01,677
- What do I have to do?
-just proceed normally.
182
00:12:01,741 --> 00:12:05,188
If I could proceed normally,
I wouldn't have to be here.
183
00:12:07,947 --> 00:12:10,860
Mr. Carlin,
would it be all right if he came in?
184
00:12:10,917 --> 00:12:13,864
- I don't care. I got nothing to hide.
- Great.
185
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,730
Just don't call me by my real name.
186
00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,165
Uh, this is Dr. Frank Walburn.
187
00:12:22,228 --> 00:12:24,731
- I'm Dick Smith.
- Hi.
188
00:12:24,797 --> 00:12:28,142
Okay, let's start the session.
just pretend I'm not even here.
189
00:12:36,108 --> 00:12:38,019
What's, uh- What's happening?
190
00:12:45,117 --> 00:12:47,859
His time is very valuable-
if you wouldn't mind waiting.
191
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,922
Okay, I'll wait.
192
00:12:52,124 --> 00:12:54,604
What about this girl
you're interested in?
193
00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:56,606
Amy Hams?
194
00:12:58,531 --> 00:13:00,772
I finally got the nerve to ask her out...
195
00:13:00,833 --> 00:13:03,541
and she wanted to go see Earthquake-
you know, the movie?
196
00:13:03,603 --> 00:13:06,413
We wanted to go before dinner
because the seats shake.
197
00:13:08,207 --> 00:13:12,053
So I went early and waited in line, and
by the time I got up to the box office...
198
00:13:12,111 --> 00:13:14,113
there was only one ticket left...
199
00:13:14,180 --> 00:13:17,184
sol gave it to Amy.
200
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:21,596
And, uh, she came out after midnight
with another guy.
201
00:13:23,589 --> 00:13:27,867
She told me she was going to his house
to look at his Richter scale.
202
00:13:31,397 --> 00:13:33,570
Can you believe that?
203
00:13:33,633 --> 00:13:35,635
Well, I suppose it is possible...
204
00:13:35,701 --> 00:13:39,615
that they're building Richter scales
for home use.
205
00:13:39,672 --> 00:13:42,152
- [Intercom Buzzing]
- Excuse me.
206
00:13:43,609 --> 00:13:46,419
Yes, Carol. Uh, Frank, it's for you.
It's your secretary.
207
00:13:46,479 --> 00:13:48,152
Thank you, Bob.
208
00:13:51,284 --> 00:13:55,289
Yes, Midge,
How many patients are there?
209
00:13:55,354 --> 00:13:57,834
Oh. Tell Winthrop
to go into my office...
210
00:13:57,890 --> 00:14:01,633
hold two of them in the waiting room,
send the other five down to the coffee shop.
211
00:14:01,694 --> 00:14:04,174
Thanks. Midge, you're a peach.
212
00:14:05,665 --> 00:14:08,339
Sorry, Bob. I gotta go.
Look, your problem is very simple.
213
00:14:08,401 --> 00:14:12,577
She'sjust making a cheap bid for attention.
She's not good enough for you.
214
00:14:12,638 --> 00:14:14,481
I'll fix you up with my secretary.
215
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:17,851
She'll make you forget all about Amy Herbst
and any other woman you ever met.
216
00:14:19,011 --> 00:14:20,957
You're a winner, Smith.
217
00:14:21,013 --> 00:14:23,823
You deserve the very best.
See you later.
218
00:14:23,883 --> 00:14:26,693
Dr. Walburn? Do you have a card?
219
00:14:26,752 --> 00:14:29,631
Yeah. Sure.
220
00:14:33,025 --> 00:14:35,266
Talk to you tomorrow, Bob.
221
00:14:36,495 --> 00:14:40,204
L, uh-[ Nervous Chuckle]
I collect cards.
222
00:14:42,168 --> 00:14:46,275
I know why you took the card,
and I understand, Mr. Carlin.
223
00:14:46,339 --> 00:14:48,376
Smith.
224
00:14:58,851 --> 00:15:01,354
Bob. Aren't you coming to bed?
225
00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:03,297
Oh, I'll be in soon.
226
00:15:03,356 --> 00:15:06,860
Don Rickles is substituting
forjohnny Carson on The Tonight Show.
227
00:15:08,461 --> 00:15:12,034
- Again?
- Yeah. He's interviewing Sir Laurence Olivier.
228
00:15:15,401 --> 00:15:17,677
What could they possibly talk about?
229
00:15:17,737 --> 00:15:21,742
Nothing. Ricklesjust keeps
calling him a hockey puck.
230
00:15:23,042 --> 00:15:25,044
You finish the crossword puzzle?
231
00:15:25,111 --> 00:15:28,183
I didn't feel like doing all of it.
I just did the “down“ words.
232
00:15:28,247 --> 00:15:31,353
- Mmm.
- I'm reading the want ads now.
233
00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:35,559
Did you know you could double your income
by learning meat cutting by mail?
234
00:15:35,621 --> 00:15:38,101
That's assuming you have an income.
235
00:15:38,157 --> 00:15:42,435
Bob,just 'cause you lost a few patients
doesn't mean you lost your practice.
236
00:15:42,495 --> 00:15:44,941
I know, Emily, but, I mean,
I have to be honest.
237
00:15:44,997 --> 00:15:46,999
I've lost a little of my confidence.
238
00:15:47,066 --> 00:15:50,309
- Well, you're not gonna find it in the want ads.
- Well, you never know.
239
00:15:50,369 --> 00:15:53,839
I might find something in my own field,
you know, like, uh, research.
240
00:15:53,906 --> 00:15:58,377
I mean, watching rats run through
a maze and ring a little bell.
241
00:15:58,444 --> 00:16:01,357
Don't need a lot of confidence for that.
242
00:16:01,414 --> 00:16:03,416
I guess they do.
243
00:16:03,482 --> 00:16:05,985
You want some milk, honey?
244
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:10,057
No, I think I'll just put on a torn undershirt
and open a can of beer.
245
00:16:12,258 --> 00:16:15,967
Bob, has it ever occurred to you
that you could use some help?
246
00:16:16,028 --> 00:16:18,702
I don't have enough
to keep Carol busy now.
247
00:16:18,764 --> 00:16:21,904
I mean professional guidance,
counseling.
248
00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:25,710
I mean, maybe you should take Frank Walburn's
advice and get into one of his groups.
249
00:16:25,771 --> 00:16:28,251
I can't afford his rates.
250
00:16:28,307 --> 00:16:30,651
All right.
Then learn meat cutting by mail.
251
00:16:30,710 --> 00:16:34,920
But, uh, don't expect me to go down
to the post office to pick up a hindquarter.
252
00:16:34,980 --> 00:16:37,392
Emily, they don't do it like that.
253
00:16:37,450 --> 00:16:39,930
They just send you steaks
and chops, you know...
254
00:16:39,985 --> 00:16:42,591
that you can slide through the mail slot.
255
00:16:42,655 --> 00:16:46,034
Bob, really,
why don't you go into a group?
256
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:49,596
- I'm not sure I could take that now.
- You've been in groups before.
257
00:16:49,662 --> 00:16:52,905
I mean, you couldn't have gotten your degree
unless you'd been in therapy.
258
00:16:52,965 --> 00:16:54,967
Yeah, but that was during the '50s.
259
00:16:55,034 --> 00:16:59,141
I mean,
nobody had any problems in the '50s.
260
00:16:59,205 --> 00:17:02,209
I mean, you never had to worry
what Ike was gonna do.
261
00:17:04,009 --> 00:17:06,512
Bob, if you're not gonna do
something to helpyourself...
262
00:17:06,579 --> 00:17:09,082
at least let me try
and make you feel better.
263
00:17:09,148 --> 00:17:11,651
That's very nice of you,
but I'm too tired, Emily.
264
00:17:11,717 --> 00:17:15,426
No, no, Bob.
Come here. Bob. Sit down.
265
00:17:15,488 --> 00:17:18,332
You know, when I was a little girl
and I felt bad...
266
00:17:18,390 --> 00:17:22,236
my father used to sit down next to me,
and he used to put his arm around me...
267
00:17:22,294 --> 00:17:27,039
and he used to sing to me,
and I always felt better, you know?
268
00:17:27,099 --> 00:17:29,875
♪ Around her neck ♪
269
00:17:29,935 --> 00:17:32,347
♪ She wore a yellow ribbon ♪
270
00:17:32,404 --> 00:17:34,816
♪ She wore it in the springtime ♪
271
00:17:34,874 --> 00:17:38,151
♪ In the merry month of May
Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪♪
272
00:17:42,348 --> 00:17:46,694
- Well, come on, Bob.
- Come on what? What do you want me to do?
273
00:17:46,752 --> 00:17:49,892
I want you tojoin me.
Sing the “hey, hey, heys“ with me.
274
00:17:49,955 --> 00:17:52,868
I don't want to sing
the “hey, hey, heys.“
275
00:17:52,925 --> 00:17:55,565
Come on, Bob.
That's the fun. Are you ready?
276
00:17:55,628 --> 00:17:57,630
- Yeah.
- All right.
277
00:17:57,696 --> 00:17:59,698
♪ She wore it in the springtime ♪
278
00:17:59,765 --> 00:18:02,905
- ♪ In the merry of May, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪♪
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
279
00:18:02,968 --> 00:18:05,574
Waita minute!
280
00:18:05,638 --> 00:18:08,482
What's the matter?
ls the key too low?
281
00:18:08,541 --> 00:18:11,215
No, I'm gonna call FrankWalburn.
282
00:18:11,277 --> 00:18:14,417
I think I'll make
an appointment for you too.
283
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:21,454
- Either of you fellas like some coffee?
- No, thank you.
284
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,160
I don't believe I've seen you fellas
in group before.
285
00:18:24,223 --> 00:18:27,864
I'm Congressmanjerome Shetland,
30th Congressional District.
286
00:18:27,927 --> 00:18:30,669
Uh, Wayne Hilton, linebacker...
287
00:18:30,729 --> 00:18:32,675
last place Chicago Bears.
288
00:18:32,731 --> 00:18:35,007
No wonder you're in therapy.
289
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:37,377
Just kidding. Love those Bears.
290
00:18:37,436 --> 00:18:40,144
Hijerome Shetland,
30th Congressional District.
291
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:43,210
I'm, uh- I'm Bob Hartley,
26th Congressional District.
292
00:18:46,779 --> 00:18:49,123
Thanks, Midge,
and thanks for last night.
293
00:18:49,181 --> 00:18:51,388
Oh, my pleasure, Mr. Smith.
294
00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:54,590
- Smitty.
- Smitty.
295
00:18:54,653 --> 00:18:58,066
Would anyone like some wine?
We have some Cold Duck chilling.
296
00:18:58,123 --> 00:19:00,626
- I'd like a glass of Duck.
- Okay, Smitty.
297
00:19:00,693 --> 00:19:04,698
- Jerome Shetland, 30th Congressional District.
- Dick Smith.
298
00:19:06,599 --> 00:19:09,102
Uh, is this an office
or is this an office?
299
00:19:09,168 --> 00:19:12,149
Sure is, Dick.
300
00:19:13,939 --> 00:19:18,149
Bet you feel kind of funny being
down here in the pits with the rest of us.
301
00:19:19,511 --> 00:19:21,957
I really wouldn't refer
to therapy as the pits.
302
00:19:22,014 --> 00:19:24,358
Hi. Welcome to the pits.
303
00:19:25,684 --> 00:19:28,426
Hi, Bob. Well, let's get started.
Okay, who's up?
304
00:19:28,487 --> 00:19:32,435
- I am.jerome Shetland, 30th Congressional
District. - Come on. Can it,jerry.
305
00:19:32,491 --> 00:19:35,233
You're here to get help, not votes.
306
00:19:35,294 --> 00:19:39,640
- How's everything at home? Your kids
still hate you? - Two of them do.
307
00:19:39,698 --> 00:19:41,769
The other three like me very much.
308
00:19:41,834 --> 00:19:44,678
That's three out of five-
a sizable majority.
309
00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:51,083
Maybe if you spent more time with the kids
instead of out hustling votes...
310
00:19:51,143 --> 00:19:53,248
you might get four out of five.
311
00:19:53,312 --> 00:19:55,918
Gee, Frank, don't you think
that's a little strong? I mean-
312
00:19:55,981 --> 00:19:59,451
- Hey, Bob. You wanna back off?
- l-l'm sorry.
313
00:19:59,518 --> 00:20:03,159
It's just a habit,
a kind of conditioned reflex, I guess.
314
00:20:03,222 --> 00:20:05,224
He used to be a shrink.
315
00:20:06,959 --> 00:20:08,905
Excuse me.
316
00:20:08,961 --> 00:20:11,032
Cold Duck for Smitty.
317
00:20:11,096 --> 00:20:13,167
Right on.
318
00:20:13,232 --> 00:20:15,337
Thank you, Midge.
319
00:20:15,401 --> 00:20:17,347
That's it, Midge. No tips.
320
00:20:17,403 --> 00:20:20,145
Oh, right. I keep forgetting.
321
00:20:23,542 --> 00:20:26,079
Okay. Where were we? Who was up?
322
00:20:26,145 --> 00:20:28,648
I think the gentleman
from the 26th District.
323
00:20:28,714 --> 00:20:32,719
- Well, let somebody else be up.
- No. Let's talk about you.
324
00:20:32,785 --> 00:20:35,664
A shrink getting shrunk.
Now, ain't that somethin'?
325
00:20:35,721 --> 00:20:37,701
You're telling me?
326
00:20:37,756 --> 00:20:41,704
I knew this man when he was at the top
of the business. Now? Quicksand.
327
00:20:42,895 --> 00:20:44,897
It isn't quite that bad, Smitty.
328
00:20:46,865 --> 00:20:50,904
- Fvejust lost a little confidence.
- I know what you mean.
329
00:20:50,970 --> 00:20:55,112
'Cause if there's one thing
a linebacker needs, it's confidence!
330
00:20:55,174 --> 00:20:57,711
I think I lost mine too.
331
00:20:57,776 --> 00:21:00,484
- Are you with the Chicago Bears?
- Yeah.
332
00:21:00,546 --> 00:21:04,323
Your lack of confidence
lost me 3O bucks last Sunday.
333
00:21:04,383 --> 00:21:08,593
I used to love to go out there
and bust heads and clothesline those guys.
334
00:21:08,654 --> 00:21:13,330
I can't remember the last time
I put somebody in the hospital.
335
00:21:13,392 --> 00:21:17,272
- It's just no fun anymore, huh?
- Exactly.
336
00:21:17,329 --> 00:21:19,400
If you don't like what you're doing,
what are you doing it for?
337
00:21:19,465 --> 00:21:21,877
A hundred thousand dollars a year.
338
00:21:23,202 --> 00:21:25,842
- Reason enough.
- Oh, I'm not sure it is.
339
00:21:25,904 --> 00:21:28,578
- If you don't like it, why don't you get out?
- [ Wa/burn] Out of/ine, Bob.
340
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,177
This man is conquering his phobias
by confronting them.
341
00:21:31,243 --> 00:21:34,884
That's right. I am conquering
my phobias by confronting them.
342
00:21:34,947 --> 00:21:39,692
Those are Dr. Walburn's words,
but how do you feel?
343
00:21:39,752 --> 00:21:42,665
Man, I don't know a phobia
from a face mask.
344
00:21:42,721 --> 00:21:46,760
I mean, all I know is, after the game is over,
I get sick to my stomach.
345
00:21:46,825 --> 00:21:51,274
If you can't stand the house,
get out of the apartment.
346
00:21:51,330 --> 00:21:55,073
- What the hell does that mean?
- I don't know. Maybe it's the Cold Duck talking.
347
00:21:58,370 --> 00:22:01,078
I think I know what he means.
348
00:22:01,140 --> 00:22:03,484
You should try to get in touch
with your true feelings.
349
00:22:03,542 --> 00:22:06,113
If you're not a violent man,
then don't be in a violent profession.
350
00:22:06,178 --> 00:22:09,682
- But all I know is football.
- Well, there are plenty of other opportunities.
351
00:22:09,748 --> 00:22:13,059
I mean,you could learn
meat cutting by mail.
352
00:22:15,454 --> 00:22:18,924
Well, I don't know about that,
but I always wanted my own flower shop.
353
00:22:18,991 --> 00:22:22,495
Well, look into it.
You may have a green thumb.
354
00:22:23,862 --> 00:22:26,502
I don't think so.
355
00:22:26,565 --> 00:22:30,479
Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt.
This is Frank's group.
356
00:22:30,536 --> 00:22:33,517
I'd like to talk a lot more to you.
I hope you'll be coming back next week.
357
00:22:33,572 --> 00:22:37,179
That's really very nice.
You give a person a feeling of confidence.
358
00:22:37,242 --> 00:22:39,244
Looks like you're coming out of it, Bob.
359
00:22:39,311 --> 00:22:42,121
Aren't you glad you recognized
you were only succumbing...
360
00:22:42,181 --> 00:22:44,661
to an abnormal
temporary stress stimuli?
361
00:22:44,716 --> 00:22:47,560
Who wouldn't be glad?
362
00:22:52,024 --> 00:22:54,402
Excuse me, Dr. Walburn,
but your agent's outside.
363
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:57,703
He has to talk to you
about the movie rights for your book.
364
00:22:57,763 --> 00:23:00,767
They wanna make a movie out
of my book, Fires of the Mina'.
365
00:23:00,833 --> 00:23:04,042
Yeah, but they wanna change
the title to Blazing Brains.
366
00:23:06,004 --> 00:23:09,281
- What would you let them do that for?
- Quarter of a million dollars.
367
00:23:09,341 --> 00:23:11,321
Reason enough.
368
00:23:11,376 --> 00:23:15,381
Well, it looks like this is gonna take a little
while, so, Bob, why don't you take over?
369
00:23:15,447 --> 00:23:18,792
Oh, I, uh- I don't think I could.
370
00:23:18,851 --> 00:23:22,355
Uh, I will.
If it's all right with everybody.
371
00:23:22,421 --> 00:23:25,630
Well, it's okay by me.
How 'bout you, Smitty?
372
00:23:25,691 --> 00:23:29,036
- Smitty?
- Huh? Oh, yeah. That's okay.
373
00:23:29,094 --> 00:23:31,904
- Shetland?
- Oh, I go along with the majority.
374
00:23:31,964 --> 00:23:34,205
Great.
375
00:23:34,266 --> 00:23:36,212
See you later.
376
00:23:36,268 --> 00:23:39,374
B/azingBra/n; huh?I like it.
377
00:23:39,438 --> 00:23:43,477
Well, now, my technique
is a little different from Dr. Walburn's...
378
00:23:43,542 --> 00:23:47,217
but, basically,
I believe in total honesty.
379
00:23:47,279 --> 00:23:52,729
So before we proceed, there's
an announcement I feel I have to make.
380
00:23:54,052 --> 00:23:56,054
This man is an impostor.
381
00:24:11,303 --> 00:24:14,250
- Hi, honey. I'm home.
- Hi, dear. How was your day?
382
00:24:14,306 --> 00:24:16,877
Are you kidding?
I had Mr. Peterson at 9:00.
383
00:24:16,942 --> 00:24:20,185
All of a sudden, Mr. Plager walks in.
I had to take care of him.
384
00:24:20,245 --> 00:24:22,987
By the time I get that straightened out,
it was 10:30.
385
00:24:23,048 --> 00:24:26,723
I had to push both groups back an hour,
which meant I had to cancel lunch withjerry.
386
00:24:26,785 --> 00:24:30,062
Sol finally ended up having,
uh, peanut butter crackers.
387
00:24:30,122 --> 00:24:33,535
- Bob, all I said was, “How was your day?“
- Oh.
388
00:24:38,797 --> 00:24:40,743
Fantastic.
389
00:25:13,632 --> 00:25:15,236
[ Mews]
33595
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