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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:11,057 --> 00:01:15,597 The party dress my mom made for my sister, Bernice... 2 00:01:15,662 --> 00:01:19,371 had three more petticoats than mine did. 3 00:01:19,432 --> 00:01:23,039 - Mm-hmm. - Now, wait a minute. 4 00:01:23,103 --> 00:01:26,550 Make that four more petticoats. 5 00:01:26,606 --> 00:01:28,517 Four more petticoats. 6 00:01:28,575 --> 00:01:30,987 And I was as mad... 7 00:01:31,044 --> 00:01:34,753 as a snake that married the garden hose. 8 00:01:36,283 --> 00:01:39,890 [Clears Throat] Now, when did this party dress thing happen? 9 00:01:39,953 --> 00:01:44,424 Well, it was 66 years... 10 00:01:44,491 --> 00:01:47,199 the 14th ofjune... 11 00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:49,206 late in the morning. 12 00:01:51,064 --> 00:01:53,670 Are you sure your mother always favored Bernice? 13 00:01:53,733 --> 00:01:56,680 Are you kidding? She still does. 14 00:01:57,771 --> 00:02:01,184 It's a classic case of sibling rivalry. 15 00:02:01,241 --> 00:02:03,653 At your age, an important thing is to think about... 16 00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:06,714 how to live a more fully rewarding life. 17 00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:12,389 I know, but I don't wanna live it all screwed up. 18 00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:15,959 Well, I'm, uh- I'm afraid our time is up. 19 00:02:16,022 --> 00:02:18,059 We'll talk more about this next time. 20 00:02:18,124 --> 00:02:20,695 Well, I do think we've made some kind of a breakthrough... 21 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,967 because I sure feel drained. 22 00:02:23,029 --> 00:02:25,873 Yeah, me- me too. 23 00:02:25,932 --> 00:02:27,878 [Elevator Dings] 24 00:02:29,703 --> 00:02:32,115 Hold that elevator, will ya, kid? 25 00:02:34,474 --> 00:02:36,420 I'll, uh- I'll get it, Mrs. Loomis. 26 00:02:36,476 --> 00:02:38,547 We'll see you next week, this same time. 27 00:02:38,612 --> 00:02:41,092 Right. And thank you so much... 28 00:02:41,147 --> 00:02:43,627 for helping me get my act together. 29 00:02:46,319 --> 00:02:48,458 Bob, do you want me to call Mrs. Loomis a cab? 30 00:02:48,521 --> 00:02:50,558 Uh, no, it won't be necessary. She, uh- 31 00:02:50,624 --> 00:02:52,763 - She rode her bike. - [ Rings] 32 00:02:52,826 --> 00:02:56,273 Dr. Hartley. Oh, hi, Mr. Carlin. 33 00:02:56,329 --> 00:02:58,707 Surejusta minute. Uh, Mr. Carlin... 34 00:02:58,765 --> 00:03:01,075 wants to buy a shag rug, but he's afraid. 35 00:03:01,134 --> 00:03:02,943 Afraid of what? 36 00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:05,779 That it might cover his eyes. 37 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,615 Oh, that- that kind of rug. 38 00:03:09,576 --> 00:03:11,249 I'll talk to him. 39 00:03:14,714 --> 00:03:16,785 - Hey, hLJer. - Hi, Carol. 40 00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:19,387 - How was lunch? - Worst lunch I ever had. 41 00:03:19,452 --> 00:03:21,989 Jerry, I thought you left here with a terrific-looking lady. 42 00:03:22,055 --> 00:03:24,092 That was no lady. That was my stockbroker. 43 00:03:24,157 --> 00:03:27,434 [Chuckles] She told me I was practically wiped out... 44 00:03:27,494 --> 00:03:29,667 then she made me pick up the lunch check. 45 00:03:29,729 --> 00:03:32,107 Oh,jer, that's awful. 46 00:03:32,165 --> 00:03:34,475 Look at this. Eight and a half. You know what I paid for it? 47 00:03:34,534 --> 00:03:38,539 Forty! Liberty Flush Valve. 48 00:03:38,605 --> 00:03:40,551 America's gotta have flush valves. 49 00:03:40,607 --> 00:03:42,553 I would think so. 50 00:03:42,609 --> 00:03:45,055 Now more than ever. 51 00:03:45,111 --> 00:03:48,718 I'm going to my office. Tell, uh, Bob I want to see him, will ya? 52 00:03:48,782 --> 00:03:51,228 SureJer. Oh, listen... 53 00:03:51,284 --> 00:03:54,527 I'm really sorry that Liberty Flush Valve went down the tubes. 54 00:03:56,156 --> 00:03:58,568 Funny, Carol. Really funny. 55 00:03:58,625 --> 00:04:01,037 Oh, come on. Hey,jer, I didn't mean it that way. 56 00:04:01,094 --> 00:04:03,836 But it is kinda funny. 57 00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:08,408 Oh, listen, Bob, jerry wants to see you right away. 58 00:04:08,468 --> 00:04:11,347 Uh, the bottom, as it were, dropped out of his stocks... 59 00:04:11,404 --> 00:04:13,782 - and he's real depressed. - Oh. 60 00:04:15,108 --> 00:04:17,179 Oh, uh, remind me. I have to meet Mr. Carlin... 61 00:04:17,243 --> 00:04:19,189 at 3:00 at Mr. Hairpiece. 62 00:04:19,245 --> 00:04:21,191 We're gonna look at swatches. 63 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,456 - [Knocking] - Come in. 64 00:04:29,122 --> 00:04:31,830 -j-jerry, you all right? - Lend me 1,200 bucks. 65 00:04:33,259 --> 00:04:35,239 Uh, things are that bad, huh? 66 00:04:35,295 --> 00:04:37,673 I gotta buy a motorcycle. 67 00:04:37,731 --> 00:04:40,337 Jerry, you not only have depression... 68 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,380 you've taken leave of your senses. 69 00:04:42,435 --> 00:04:45,746 No, I haven't, Bob. I need a motorcycle to make me happy. 70 00:04:45,805 --> 00:04:48,581 I mean, I need a big, expensive toy. Something I really can't afford... 71 00:04:48,641 --> 00:04:50,587 and somethin' that, uh, I don't really need. 72 00:04:50,643 --> 00:04:53,351 Well, buy two of them. Be twice as happy. 73 00:04:54,714 --> 00:04:57,627 Here it is, Bob. Take a look at that baby. 74 00:04:57,684 --> 00:04:59,664 Miss November. Victoriajugman. 75 00:04:59,719 --> 00:05:03,257 No. No. It's what Victoria's sitting on. 76 00:05:03,323 --> 00:05:06,429 Oh, it's a- It's a real nice motorcyclejer, but- 77 00:05:06,493 --> 00:05:08,700 -I mean, $1,200- - No, we better make it 13. 78 00:05:08,762 --> 00:05:12,801 You know, tax, license, helmet, gloves, a scarf. 79 00:05:12,866 --> 00:05:14,971 You- You gonna let me have the dough? 80 00:05:15,035 --> 00:05:18,608 GeeJerry, you should have caught me before lunch. 81 00:05:18,671 --> 00:05:21,709 - I'm serious, Bob. - I know you are, and I am too. 82 00:05:21,775 --> 00:05:24,119 UhJerry, don't they- don't they finance those things? 83 00:05:24,177 --> 00:05:26,885 [Laughs] Sure. If you're gonna pay 15, 2O percent. 84 00:05:26,946 --> 00:05:29,552 I'm no patsy, Bob. Besides, I like the feeling you get... 85 00:05:29,616 --> 00:05:32,597 when you walk into a place and slap the money right down on the table. 86 00:05:32,652 --> 00:05:35,292 N-No matter whose money it is. 87 00:05:35,355 --> 00:05:39,326 I get it. You're worried about your money. 88 00:05:39,392 --> 00:05:41,838 Well, it is $1,300,jerry. 89 00:05:41,895 --> 00:05:45,104 1,400, Bob. I'm gonna get competition tires. 90 00:05:45,165 --> 00:05:46,974 Why not shoot the works? 91 00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:50,071 And you can use it whenever you want, Bob. You're gonna have a ball. 92 00:05:50,136 --> 00:05:52,673 You know, you just twist the accelerator, and let 'er rip. 93 00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:54,685 Vrrrr! There you are... 94 00:05:54,741 --> 00:05:56,687 roaring down the Dan Ryan Expressway, Bob... 95 00:05:56,743 --> 00:05:58,689 the wind whistling through your helmet... 96 00:05:58,745 --> 00:06:00,850 your tattoo blazing in the sunlight... 97 00:06:00,914 --> 00:06:03,554 your old lady hanging on behind you for clear life. 98 00:06:03,616 --> 00:06:05,857 - Bob, can you see it? -j-jerry... 99 00:06:05,919 --> 00:06:08,490 all I can see is bugs bouncing off my teeth. 100 00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:12,192 Okay, you don't have to ride it, but, uh... 101 00:06:12,258 --> 00:06:15,034 -you gonna lend me the money? - Well, I don't knowJerry. 102 00:06:15,095 --> 00:06:18,338 Just, uh, give me overnight to, you know, think about it. 103 00:06:18,398 --> 00:06:21,379 Oh,yeah. I'm beginning to understand now. 104 00:06:21,434 --> 00:06:23,380 L-lt's a lot of money, and, uh... 105 00:06:23,436 --> 00:06:26,883 you have to get, uh, permission, huh? [Chuckles] 106 00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:29,045 - You mean- You mean, from Emily? - Yeah. 107 00:06:29,109 --> 00:06:31,988 No, it's-it's my decisiomjerry. I can do whatever I want. 108 00:06:32,045 --> 00:06:34,525 Sure you can. Sure. Look, uh- 109 00:06:34,581 --> 00:06:36,583 Why don't you just, uh... 110 00:06:36,649 --> 00:06:40,654 take this picture along, show the bike, you know, to Emily. 111 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,792 Well, maybe I'll take the picture along. I mean, it's still- 112 00:06:43,857 --> 00:06:47,236 it's still my decision. Uh, I'll just, uh- 113 00:06:47,293 --> 00:06:50,604 I'll just take the bike partjerry... 114 00:06:50,663 --> 00:06:53,405 and why don't you hold on to Victoriajugman? 115 00:06:53,466 --> 00:06:55,412 Right. 116 00:07:06,779 --> 00:07:08,725 - Hi, honey. - Hi, Bob. 117 00:07:08,781 --> 00:07:11,455 You'rejust in time for crepes chicken marengo. 118 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,089 Really? 119 00:07:14,154 --> 00:07:16,725 You know, I was smiling coming home, just thinking to myself... 120 00:07:16,789 --> 00:07:20,100 “How long has it been since we've had crepes chicken marengo?“ 121 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,265 Bob, we've never had crepes chicken marengo. 122 00:07:23,496 --> 00:07:25,942 - Maybe that's why I was smiling. - [Laughs] 123 00:07:25,999 --> 00:07:28,502 What's the, uh- the yellow glop? 124 00:07:28,568 --> 00:07:30,775 That's the marengo. 125 00:07:30,837 --> 00:07:33,078 - Well, where's the chicken? - No, there's no chicken. 126 00:07:33,139 --> 00:07:36,279 You see, this recipe calls for chicken soup. 127 00:07:36,342 --> 00:07:39,186 Looks to me like it's screaming for chicken. 128 00:07:39,245 --> 00:07:42,385 Bob, this is a budget recipe. 129 00:07:42,448 --> 00:07:45,452 How much could a chicken cost? A buck and a half? 130 00:07:45,518 --> 00:07:49,432 You couldn't dance with a chicken for a buck and a half. 131 00:07:49,489 --> 00:07:52,129 Bob, everything is so expensive. lfwe're gonna redecorate... 132 00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:54,138 we've gotta start cutting corners somewhere. 133 00:07:54,194 --> 00:07:58,006 Uh, Emily, how much do we have in the savings account? 134 00:07:58,064 --> 00:08:03,138 Uh, we've got an armchair, uh, three quarters of a sofa and a halfa hutch. Why? 135 00:08:03,203 --> 00:08:07,413 Uh, I was thinking about lendingjerry$1,400. 136 00:08:07,473 --> 00:08:10,317 - What? - For a- a motorcycle. 137 00:08:10,376 --> 00:08:12,253 $1,400? 138 00:08:12,312 --> 00:08:15,088 Well, that includes tax, license and scarf. 139 00:08:17,383 --> 00:08:19,761 You think it's, uh, stupid, don't you? 140 00:08:19,819 --> 00:08:22,322 Well, BobJerry is your friend, and it's your decision. 141 00:08:22,388 --> 00:08:24,459 That's, uh- That's what I told him. 142 00:08:24,524 --> 00:08:28,472 It doesn't matter that it's the dumbest thing I ever heard. You do what you want. 143 00:08:28,528 --> 00:08:31,702 Well, it isn't a- It isn't a bad-looking motorcycle. 144 00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:36,180 It isn't a bad-looking thigh. Whose is it? 145 00:08:36,236 --> 00:08:38,648 - Ido/ft/mow - Look, Bob, it's entirely up to you. 146 00:08:38,705 --> 00:08:42,482 I mean, I know your feelings forjerry, and friendship is more important than money, so- 147 00:08:42,542 --> 00:08:44,988 I mean, I don't care whether you loan him the money or not. 148 00:08:46,312 --> 00:08:48,724 - I'm not gonna do it. - Oh, thank God! 149 00:08:50,049 --> 00:08:52,620 You know why? I mean, loaning money to a friend... 150 00:08:52,685 --> 00:08:55,063 is the surest way to break up a friendship. 151 00:08:55,121 --> 00:08:58,500 It happened to me when I was a kid with my best friend, Frankie Hassinger. 152 00:08:58,558 --> 00:09:01,471 I mean, everything starts off great, you know... 153 00:09:01,527 --> 00:09:05,270 and then the one who borrows the money starts to resent the guy he borrowed it from... 154 00:09:05,331 --> 00:09:07,971 - and before you know it, they're enemies. - Well, makes sense to me. 155 00:09:08,034 --> 00:09:12,710 You know, it's- it's been years since I thought about Frankie Hassinger. 156 00:09:12,772 --> 00:09:14,809 I don't even remember... 157 00:09:14,874 --> 00:09:16,854 how much money I borrowed from him. 158 00:09:23,383 --> 00:09:25,329 And let me know when the mail comes. 159 00:09:25,385 --> 00:09:28,457 I'm expecting my copy Of Psychology Today today. 160 00:09:29,956 --> 00:09:33,870 No, Bob. You get your Psychology Today tomorrow. 161 00:09:33,926 --> 00:09:36,873 You get your Tomorrow? Health today. 162 00:09:36,929 --> 00:09:38,875 Andjerry wants to see you. 163 00:09:38,931 --> 00:09:42,743 Oh, yeah. We have to talk about something privately. Have him come in, will you? 164 00:09:44,037 --> 00:09:46,540 Are you going to? 165 00:09:47,774 --> 00:09:51,085 - Am I going to what? - Spring for the 14 big ones? 166 00:09:51,144 --> 00:09:53,886 You, uh- You know about the motorcycle? 167 00:09:53,946 --> 00:09:56,358 Unjerryjust mentioned it in passing. 168 00:09:56,416 --> 00:09:58,327 He only mentioned it in his office. 169 00:09:58,384 --> 00:10:01,058 Yeah. And I happened to be passing. 170 00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:06,027 I'm leaving. 171 00:10:07,393 --> 00:10:09,339 Morning, Bob. 172 00:10:11,264 --> 00:10:14,541 Well, what do you say? I'll take cash, check or money order. 173 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,740 UhJerry, why don't we talk about this privately? 174 00:10:17,804 --> 00:10:19,875 - Me? - Yeah. 175 00:10:19,939 --> 00:10:22,545 Oh, uh, certainly. I'll be outside if you need me. 176 00:10:22,608 --> 00:10:25,418 I know. Passing. 177 00:10:25,478 --> 00:10:28,891 - What do you think of the helmet? - Dynamite. 178 00:10:28,948 --> 00:10:31,792 Well, Bob, are you gonna, you know, give me the money? 179 00:10:31,851 --> 00:10:34,388 Well, uh,jerry, first of all, I wanna tell you, I'm, uh- 180 00:10:34,454 --> 00:10:37,230 I'm only doing this because I, uh- lvalue our friendship. 181 00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:39,236 - Yeah. - It isn't the 1,400- 182 00:10:39,292 --> 00:10:42,205 $1,500, Bob. See, I went to the top of the line on the helmet. 183 00:10:42,261 --> 00:10:45,333 This is the real thing. It's a polyester resin shell... 184 00:10:45,398 --> 00:10:48,709 and expended polyurethane foam lining. 185 00:10:48,768 --> 00:10:50,805 - Go ahead. Try it on. - No. 186 00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:52,781 Come on, Bob. Get in the spirit. 187 00:10:54,073 --> 00:10:56,280 Jerry, I don't want to talk to you with the helmet. 188 00:10:56,342 --> 00:10:59,949 Bob, you're gonna be part owner of this helmet. At least try it on. 189 00:11:03,850 --> 00:11:07,195 Hey, you look fantastic! 190 00:11:09,222 --> 00:11:11,259 - N-No, I don't. - No, you really do, Bob. 191 00:11:11,324 --> 00:11:13,964 You're a natural. Here, see for yourself. 192 00:11:18,097 --> 00:11:20,270 - I look silly,jerry. - You don't, Bob- 193 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:23,405 You know, I never realized this before. You look a lot like Steve McQueen. 194 00:11:26,539 --> 00:11:29,110 How about it, Bob? You gonna let me have the dough? 195 00:11:29,175 --> 00:11:31,655 You know,jerry, when friends lend money to friends... 196 00:11:31,711 --> 00:11:33,657 it always seems to turn out- 197 00:11:33,713 --> 00:11:36,284 Bob,just a simple “yes“ or “no? 198 00:11:38,151 --> 00:11:40,153 No. 199 00:11:41,654 --> 00:11:43,930 Uhz/T/er/Jé" 200 00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:46,800 I have a reason why I came to this decision. 201 00:11:46,859 --> 00:11:49,100 I had this friend, Frankie Hassinger. 202 00:11:49,162 --> 00:11:53,372 Jerry, in the long run, I'm doing you a favor. 203 00:11:53,433 --> 00:11:56,471 Frankie Hassinger never understood either. 204 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,878 Hi, Mr. Berry. Oh, Bob. 205 00:12:02,942 --> 00:12:04,819 Bob, this is Mr, Berry, your new patient. 206 00:12:04,877 --> 00:12:08,689 Uh, Mr. Berry, this is Dr. Hartley. 207 00:12:25,164 --> 00:12:27,974 I mean, I- I just can't get over the wayjerry acted. 208 00:12:28,034 --> 00:12:31,743 He was sulking around, pouting like a spoiled brat. 209 00:12:34,273 --> 00:12:36,219 Ew- 210 00:12:37,276 --> 00:12:40,155 What is this? I'm not gonna eat this. 211 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,385 Bob, you love bread pudding. 212 00:12:43,449 --> 00:12:46,225 This isn't bread pudding. It's dark brown. 213 00:12:46,285 --> 00:12:49,596 I just decided to make it with pumpernickel this time. 214 00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:53,029 It didn't turn out too good. Here, taste it. 215 00:12:53,092 --> 00:12:55,595 I don't like bread pudding. I just make it 'cause you do. 216 00:12:55,661 --> 00:12:57,902 I appreciate it. 217 00:12:57,964 --> 00:13:01,411 Hey, Bob. You wanna hear some good news? 218 00:13:01,467 --> 00:13:05,347 Jerrys gonna straighten little Howie's teeth absolutely free. 219 00:13:05,404 --> 00:13:09,250 Oh, really? Uh, there aren't any strings attached, are there? 220 00:13:09,308 --> 00:13:12,687 I don't think so.just the regular wires and rubber bands. 221 00:13:15,681 --> 00:13:17,854 Howard, uh,you didn't agree to lendjerry... 222 00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:19,897 $1,500 for a motorcycle, did you? 223 00:13:19,952 --> 00:13:22,023 1,600. 224 00:13:22,088 --> 00:13:25,968 - Talk about inflation. - Yeah, but that includes leather saddlebags. 225 00:13:26,025 --> 00:13:29,996 And I get to drive the motorcycle as much as I want until the loan is paid off. 226 00:13:30,062 --> 00:13:32,941 - Doesn't that sound great? - Have you givenjerry the money already? 227 00:13:32,999 --> 00:13:36,071 - Uh-huh. - Then it sounds great. 228 00:13:36,135 --> 00:13:38,706 It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. 229 00:13:38,771 --> 00:13:41,718 Just like buying the Brooklyn Bridge, huh? 230 00:13:41,774 --> 00:13:44,015 Yeah, but the guy that bought the Brooklyn Bridge... 231 00:13:44,076 --> 00:13:46,249 isn't getting his teeth fixed. 232 00:13:46,312 --> 00:13:48,417 When is, uh,jerry gonna pay you the money back? 233 00:13:48,481 --> 00:13:51,553 Oh, its gonna work out great. He's gonna pay me a $100 every month. 234 00:13:51,617 --> 00:13:53,563 Yeah, if he can come up with it. 235 00:13:53,619 --> 00:13:56,122 You know the deal? It must be standard. 236 00:13:56,188 --> 00:13:58,464 Well, I hope it works out. 237 00:13:58,524 --> 00:14:00,663 Yeah, it's gonna be great. 238 00:14:00,726 --> 00:14:03,730 I can't wait to twist the accelerator and let 'er rip. You know? 239 00:14:03,796 --> 00:14:08,836 [imitating Revving ] Therei am, roaring down the Dan Ryan Expressway... 240 00:14:08,901 --> 00:14:11,245 wind whistling through my tattoo. 241 00:14:12,705 --> 00:14:15,083 Your old lady behind you, hanging on for clear life? 242 00:14:16,576 --> 00:14:18,749 That's exactly the feeling. You know, huh? 243 00:14:18,811 --> 00:14:20,916 I've been there, pal. 244 00:14:22,114 --> 00:14:24,754 And I'm his old lady. 245 00:14:24,817 --> 00:14:26,888 Well, I gotta meetjerry in the showroom. 246 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,955 Well, I hope it doesn't backfire, Howard. 247 00:14:29,021 --> 00:14:32,525 Well, ifit does, we'll take it right to the service department. 248 00:14:35,428 --> 00:14:37,374 I don't know how long it's gonna take... 249 00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:39,808 but I guarantee you, something's gonna hit the fan. 250 00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:43,603 At least you and your old lady won't be involved. 251 00:14:43,669 --> 00:14:47,549 No, maybe you won't. But Howard andjerry are my best friends, and I'm a psychologist. 252 00:14:47,607 --> 00:14:50,952 When they start wanting to kill each other, who is gonna wind up in the middle? 253 00:14:51,010 --> 00:14:53,286 Robert Hartley, Ph.D. 254 00:14:53,346 --> 00:14:55,383 Well, I'll just, uh... 255 00:14:55,448 --> 00:14:58,088 find two new friends and a new line of work. 256 00:15:00,353 --> 00:15:02,856 The bread pudding business looks wide open. 257 00:15:08,794 --> 00:15:13,868 All my life, I've let this sister of mine get away with everything. 258 00:15:13,933 --> 00:15:16,243 Well, not anymore. 259 00:15:16,302 --> 00:15:18,248 Mrs. Loomis, when did you first learn... 260 00:15:18,304 --> 00:15:20,841 that you and your sister were interested in the same man? 261 00:15:20,906 --> 00:15:23,785 Well, it was, um... 262 00:15:23,843 --> 00:15:29,418 last Sunday, a week, when I brought Larry home to meet Mother. 263 00:15:30,483 --> 00:15:34,226 Bernice was all over him... 264 00:15:34,286 --> 00:15:36,562 likea crow on ajune bug. 265 00:15:39,659 --> 00:15:42,435 Well, I'm afraid our time is up. 266 00:15:42,495 --> 00:15:45,567 Are you sure that Bernice just wasn't being friendly to Larry? 267 00:15:45,631 --> 00:15:50,546 Friendly? She was promising things she couldn't deliver. 268 00:15:51,971 --> 00:15:53,917 [Clears Throat] 269 00:15:55,007 --> 00:15:57,009 I Typing] 270 00:15:59,979 --> 00:16:02,220 Mrs. Loomis, I think we're making real progress. 271 00:16:02,281 --> 00:16:04,454 I'll say so. This is only our third session... 272 00:16:04,517 --> 00:16:07,930 and we're already dealing with the basic urges. 273 00:16:10,289 --> 00:16:12,701 Oh, wow! 274 00:16:12,758 --> 00:16:15,466 That's what I call a chopper! 275 00:16:15,528 --> 00:16:18,202 Oh» yippee! 276 00:16:18,264 --> 00:16:21,268 Well, Carol, here it is. Take a look at it. 277 00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:23,677 Jerry, really, you could have brought a snapshot. 278 00:16:23,736 --> 00:16:27,149 I'm not gonna leave this beauty down on the street. I don't want it ripped off. 279 00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:30,483 Besides, a very good friend of mine put out a lot money for this. 280 00:16:30,543 --> 00:16:34,582 Well, it's certainly one of the best-looking choppers we've ever had on this floor. 281 00:16:34,647 --> 00:16:37,560 Yep, she's really a beaut. She's fast, reliable. 282 00:16:37,616 --> 00:16:40,119 And she's always there when you need it. 283 00:16:40,186 --> 00:16:42,166 Better than some people I know. 284 00:16:43,589 --> 00:16:45,535 You know, Carol, a thoughtjust struck me. 285 00:16:45,591 --> 00:16:48,435 Only a fool would endanger a friendship by getting mad at a friend... 286 00:16:48,494 --> 00:16:51,338 because that friend had sense enough not to loan money to a friend. 287 00:16:51,397 --> 00:16:54,003 I'll bet you can't say that three times fast. 288 00:16:54,066 --> 00:16:57,707 Carol, the thoughtjust struck me that the excuse of not loaning money to a friend... 289 00:16:57,770 --> 00:17:00,444 is one of the oldest excuses for hiding cheapness. 290 00:17:03,209 --> 00:17:06,122 So we have a fool and a tightwad. 291 00:17:06,178 --> 00:17:08,124 Do I hear it for ajerk and skinflint? 292 00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:11,491 Well, if certain people are willing to listen to reason... 293 00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:13,621 I'm willing to talk. 294 00:17:13,686 --> 00:17:16,496 Certain people can always talk. Talk is cheap. 295 00:17:18,157 --> 00:17:21,001 - Well, I've said all I have to say. - Heard all I have to hear. 296 00:17:21,060 --> 00:17:23,199 Ten-four, kids. 297 00:17:26,031 --> 00:17:29,069 - Hi, Carol. - Hi, Howard. 298 00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,615 And I'm not too thrilled with the patronizing attitude... 299 00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:34,048 of a certain receptionist either. 300 00:17:34,106 --> 00:17:36,985 All she did was say hello to me. 301 00:17:37,042 --> 00:17:38,988 - Hi, Howard. Come on in. - Oh, I can't. 302 00:17:39,044 --> 00:17:41,524 I'm having lunch withjer. We're gonna talk cycles. 303 00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:44,186 You know, it's kind of a kickoff luncheon for our new friendship. 304 00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:46,594 - I'll catch you some other time. - Sure. 305 00:17:46,652 --> 00:17:49,394 - When you're not too busy. - Maybe next month. 306 00:17:49,455 --> 00:17:52,334 - Uh, about little Howie's appointment. I thought- - Please, Howard. 307 00:17:52,391 --> 00:17:55,770 Jerry saidjust bring Howie in. Whatever he's doing, he'll drop it. 308 00:17:55,828 --> 00:17:58,104 No appointments necessary. 309 00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:01,304 What a great guy! I never had a friend like that before. 310 00:18:02,368 --> 00:18:04,712 We were friends. 311 00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:09,048 Oh, we still are, Bob, or I wouldn't askyou the question I'm about to askyou. 312 00:18:09,108 --> 00:18:11,088 When I have this motorcycle overnight... 313 00:18:11,143 --> 00:18:13,680 I wonder if I could chain it toyour car? 314 00:18:15,114 --> 00:18:18,527 - Why can't you chain it to your car? - My car's too small. 315 00:18:18,584 --> 00:18:20,689 If they took my motorcycle, they'd steal my car. 316 00:18:20,753 --> 00:18:25,099 If it was chained to your car, they would just, uh, tear off your bumper. 317 00:18:25,157 --> 00:18:27,228 Sounds like a good deal to me. 318 00:18:28,761 --> 00:18:31,332 Howard, I didn't wanna have anything to do with the motorcycle. 319 00:18:31,397 --> 00:18:33,673 That's why I didn't lendjerry the money in the first place. 320 00:18:33,732 --> 00:18:37,077 Yeah, but if I wanted to buy a motorcycle, you'd lend me the money. 321 00:18:37,136 --> 00:18:39,582 Absolutely not. 322 00:18:40,773 --> 00:18:42,878 Boy, it takes something like this... 323 00:18:42,942 --> 00:18:44,888 to find out who your friends really are. 324 00:18:44,944 --> 00:18:47,925 - It sure does. - Oh, yeah? Well,just forget it. 325 00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:50,586 I'll chain my motorcycle to somebody else! 326 00:18:50,649 --> 00:18:54,620 Gee, that's too bad. I was looking forward to losing my bumper. 327 00:18:54,687 --> 00:18:58,134 - Can you believe those guys? There's no winning with them. - I know. 328 00:18:58,190 --> 00:19:01,194 - Oh, Bob. Can I askyou something? - What? 329 00:19:01,260 --> 00:19:03,103 Could I borrow $3,000 till payday? 330 00:19:15,908 --> 00:19:18,218 [Crowd Cheering On TV] 331 00:19:18,277 --> 00:19:21,349 - Are you bored, Bob? - No, Emily. 332 00:19:21,413 --> 00:19:24,451 You know I like to watch sports on television. 333 00:19:24,516 --> 00:19:26,518 Even Celebrity Soccer? 334 00:19:28,754 --> 00:19:32,725 Yeah. I never knew the Three Stooges were that coordinated. 335 00:19:32,791 --> 00:19:36,295 Nice kick, Moe. 336 00:19:36,362 --> 00:19:39,775 How come you didn't want to go to the basketball game? 337 00:19:39,832 --> 00:19:42,506 'Cause my seat's right next tojerrys. 338 00:19:42,568 --> 00:19:44,639 Well, maybejerry isn't going. 339 00:19:44,703 --> 00:19:47,741 Oh, I'm sure he's there. I'm sure Howard's there. 340 00:19:47,806 --> 00:19:51,344 They've become such close friends, they're probably sitting in the same seat. 341 00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:53,822 Well,you know, I'm glad you didn't lendjerry the money. 342 00:19:53,879 --> 00:19:55,916 I mean, pretty soon, we'll be able to redecorate. 343 00:19:55,981 --> 00:19:59,360 Yeah, we won't have any friends to show it to though. 344 00:19:59,418 --> 00:20:02,627 - They all think I'm a cheapskate. - Honey, I have an idea. 345 00:20:02,688 --> 00:20:05,999 Why don't we go out to dinner? I thinkyou'll feel better. 346 00:20:06,058 --> 00:20:09,505 You think I'll feel better 'cause I'll be able to loosen my purse strings, right? 347 00:20:09,561 --> 00:20:12,667 Oh, honey, don't snap at me. I'm your friend. 348 00:20:12,731 --> 00:20:15,610 Yeah, you're right. I can't afford to lose any more friends. 349 00:20:15,668 --> 00:20:18,012 - Have you got your wallet? - Yeah, I got it. 350 00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:20,516 All I have to do is dust off the cobwebs. 351 00:20:30,015 --> 00:20:32,655 [Vehicle Approaching 352 00:20:37,022 --> 00:20:39,127 Hi, Howard. Sorry I'm late. 353 00:20:39,191 --> 00:20:42,661 Just three hours. I'm having fun down here. 354 00:20:42,728 --> 00:20:44,730 You know what I found out about this place? 355 00:20:44,797 --> 00:20:47,869 - See where it says 6'6“ clearance? - Yeah. 356 00:20:47,933 --> 00:20:50,504 Well, actually it's 6'5“. 357 00:20:50,569 --> 00:20:52,913 I measured it 67 times with my comb. 358 00:20:52,972 --> 00:20:55,680 Look, I said I was sorry. 359 00:20:55,741 --> 00:20:58,881 That's okay. That's okay. How was the race? 360 00:20:58,944 --> 00:21:00,890 - I got buried. - Yeah. 361 00:21:00,946 --> 00:21:03,552 It sure looks like it. 362 00:21:03,615 --> 00:21:06,789 Look, when you get a chance, ride it through a car wash, will ya? 363 00:21:06,852 --> 00:21:08,923 - Yeah. - And, uh, be careful going into fourth. 364 00:21:08,988 --> 00:21:10,990 I think I bent the linkage on the 80th lap. 365 00:21:11,056 --> 00:21:14,629 - Sure. Sure. - Look, here's the schedule for the rest of the month. 366 00:21:14,693 --> 00:21:16,934 You get half the days, I get the other half. 367 00:21:18,430 --> 00:21:20,910 - How come my days are during the week? - They are not. 368 00:21:20,966 --> 00:21:23,845 Here, you got a Saturday, uh, there. Right over there. A Saturday morning. 369 00:21:23,902 --> 00:21:26,610 And next month, you get all the weekends. 370 00:21:26,672 --> 00:21:28,777 Yeah, but next month I'm gonna be in Paris. 371 00:21:28,841 --> 00:21:31,685 C'est/a vie. [Chuckles] I gotta be going. 372 00:21:31,744 --> 00:21:34,486 - Hold it! Hold it! Whoa. Whoa. - What? 373 00:21:34,546 --> 00:21:37,789 - The helmet. - Oh, yeah. You know, I've been thinking, Howard. 374 00:21:37,850 --> 00:21:40,228 You oughta get your own helmet. 375 00:21:40,285 --> 00:21:42,287 Yeah, but the helmet was part of the deal. 376 00:21:42,354 --> 00:21:44,766 It was, but I don't wearyour socks. 377 00:21:44,823 --> 00:21:46,769 Besides, you can afford it. 378 00:21:46,825 --> 00:21:49,533 Not if you don't pay me my money, I can't. 379 00:21:49,595 --> 00:21:51,871 Oh, boy. I was waitin' for that. 380 00:21:51,930 --> 00:21:54,001 Here it is. Here's your check. 381 00:21:54,066 --> 00:21:56,546 Now I owe you $1,500. 382 00:21:56,602 --> 00:21:58,878 - What's that $85? - $85. 383 00:21:58,937 --> 00:22:00,883 I thought it was supposed to be $100. 384 00:22:00,939 --> 00:22:02,941 Well, it's $15 off for your half... 385 00:22:03,008 --> 00:22:04,988 of the monthly installment on the insurance. 386 00:22:05,044 --> 00:22:07,991 - We're paying $30 a month for insurance? - Howard... 387 00:22:08,047 --> 00:22:10,857 if you're gonna race a motorcycle, you gotta insure it to the hilt. 388 00:22:10,916 --> 00:22:13,556 - Yeah, but I don't race. - I can't help it if you're chicken. 389 00:22:13,619 --> 00:22:15,565 Now, will you give me a ride home? 390 00:22:15,621 --> 00:22:18,602 Whoa! Wait a minute. You're not getting in my car looking like that. 391 00:22:18,657 --> 00:22:21,797 - Huh? - Here. Here's a quarter. Take a bus. 392 00:22:21,860 --> 00:22:24,306 Now you owe me $1,500.25! 393 00:22:24,363 --> 00:22:28,072 You know, if we weren't such good friends, I'd wrap those handlebars around your neck. 394 00:22:28,133 --> 00:22:30,511 Yeah, well, they're not your handlebars. They're my handlebars. 395 00:22:30,569 --> 00:22:32,640 - This motorcycle is officially repossessed. - Oh, yeah? 396 00:22:32,704 --> 00:22:34,741 How'd you like it if I repossessed your son's retainers? 397 00:22:34,807 --> 00:22:37,515 - He could wind up like Dracula. - I'm gonna take my son to your office... 398 00:22:37,576 --> 00:22:39,522 and have him take a bite out of your throat. 399 00:22:39,578 --> 00:22:41,888 - Hi,fellas. - Hi. Hi. 400 00:22:41,947 --> 00:22:43,949 Yeah, we were just pretending... 401 00:22:44,016 --> 00:22:46,656 what it would be like if we were angry at each other. 402 00:22:46,718 --> 00:22:49,198 If things weren't going as well as they're going. 403 00:22:49,254 --> 00:22:51,200 Yeah.just telling vampirejokes. 404 00:22:51,256 --> 00:22:53,930 Well, we, uh- we'd better get to dinner. 405 00:22:53,992 --> 00:22:57,030 Uh, there seems to be a motorcycle blocking our car. 406 00:22:57,096 --> 00:22:59,269 Yeah. I don't know who owns the motorcycle today... 407 00:22:59,331 --> 00:23:02,107 - but whoever it is, would you mind moving it? - Yeah. Yeah. 408 00:23:02,167 --> 00:23:04,147 No, I got it. 409 00:23:04,203 --> 00:23:07,184 Uh, why don't I take you two to dinner? I'm buying. 410 00:23:07,239 --> 00:23:09,617 If the check doesn't bounce! 411 00:23:09,675 --> 00:23:12,315 How'd you like it if I bounced it off your head? 412 00:23:12,377 --> 00:23:14,653 I guess you're pretending to be angry again, right? 413 00:23:14,713 --> 00:23:16,715 - [jar/y] That'; right. - Well, it's very convincing. 414 00:23:16,782 --> 00:23:19,194 - Yeah, well, I'm not pretending. - It he's not, I'm not. 415 00:23:19,251 --> 00:23:22,323 - Uh-huh. - I suppose you're gonna say “I told you so,“ huh? 416 00:23:22,387 --> 00:23:25,891 Oh, no, no. Bob's not the kind of guy who would say something like that. 417 00:23:25,958 --> 00:23:28,461 Yes, I am. 418 00:23:28,527 --> 00:23:30,666 I'll say it again. I told you so. 419 00:23:30,729 --> 00:23:33,039 You know, when start putting a price tag on friendship... 420 00:23:33,098 --> 00:23:35,044 you find out your friendships aren't worth a nickel. 421 00:23:36,869 --> 00:23:39,645 That's beautiful, Bob. Did you just think of that? 422 00:23:39,705 --> 00:23:43,016 No, Frankie Hassinger said it to mejust before he... 423 00:23:44,309 --> 00:23:46,311 bit me in the neck. 424 00:23:55,587 --> 00:23:57,533 [Honks] 425 00:24:05,297 --> 00:24:07,641 Good morning, Carol. Who's my first appointment? 426 00:24:07,699 --> 00:24:10,111 Mrs. Loomis, Bob. She's in your office. 427 00:24:10,169 --> 00:24:12,115 Oh, fine. 428 00:24:16,975 --> 00:24:18,921 Good morning. 429 00:24:20,045 --> 00:24:22,116 I thought you said she was in the office. 430 00:24:22,181 --> 00:24:24,161 She was. 431 00:24:24,216 --> 00:24:27,789 Which one of you is Dr. Hartley? 432 00:24:27,853 --> 00:24:31,198 Uh, Mrs. Loomis, don't- don't you remember me? 433 00:24:31,256 --> 00:24:33,634 I am not Mrs. Loomis. 434 00:24:33,692 --> 00:24:36,639 I'm Bernice, her sister. 435 00:24:36,695 --> 00:24:38,936 Oh, you're, uh- y-you're twins. 436 00:24:38,997 --> 00:24:42,035 That's right. Only she looks a lot older. 437 00:24:44,836 --> 00:24:48,079 She stole my boyfriend. 438 00:24:48,140 --> 00:24:49,813 Now, take it easy, Bernice. 439 00:24:49,875 --> 00:24:53,652 Now, you just take it easy. It's between her and me. 440 00:24:53,712 --> 00:24:57,990 I followed her here, sol know she's got to be... here. 441 00:24:59,685 --> 00:25:02,757 Come out of there, you little tramp! 442 00:25:37,956 --> 00:25:39,629 [ Mews] 36901

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