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1
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,107
Well, uh, Mrs. Lockhurst,
andjudge Lockhurst...
2
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:18,109
I think we had a real good day.
3
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:21,635
Yes. He only banged on the desk
with your paperweight twice.
4
00:01:21,701 --> 00:01:23,647
It's obvious what our problem is.
5
00:01:23,703 --> 00:01:27,378
We should have never married
in high school. I knew it wasn't gonna last.
6
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,080
Why don't we- Why don't we get
into that next week?
7
00:01:30,143 --> 00:01:32,623
Seventeen is just too young
to know a person.
8
00:01:32,679 --> 00:01:34,784
She said she'd fill out.
9
00:01:34,848 --> 00:01:36,850
You never filled out.
10
00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:39,124
- Well, you sure did.
- [ Groans]
11
00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:43,726
- Should I schedule another hearing for next week?
- Yeah. Yeah.
12
00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:45,736
Oh, Bob, you remember Don, don't you?
13
00:01:45,792 --> 00:01:48,534
Yeah. Hi, Don.
How, uh- How are your feet?
14
00:01:48,595 --> 00:01:50,905
Oh, as sore as ever. Hmm.
15
00:01:50,964 --> 00:01:54,707
Pain and the poet.
We trod the same path-
16
00:01:54,768 --> 00:01:56,907
Tread... the same- Well.
17
00:01:56,970 --> 00:02:01,350
- So, uh, that's how you earn your daily bread?
- [ Mouthing Words]
18
00:02:01,408 --> 00:02:04,946
- You know, life is a lot like a loaf of bread.
- Really?
19
00:02:05,011 --> 00:02:08,322
You know, it's like people
are thin slices of life.
20
00:02:08,381 --> 00:02:11,624
The crust, the caraway seeds, the crumbs-
21
00:02:11,685 --> 00:02:13,631
They're all part of it.
22
00:02:15,488 --> 00:02:19,026
- Don't you see it, Bob?
- N-Now that you put it that way, yeah.
23
00:02:19,092 --> 00:02:21,197
Oh, my writer.
24
00:02:21,261 --> 00:02:25,334
Well, I gotta get back to the garret
and start tickling the old Underwood.
25
00:02:25,398 --> 00:02:27,639
Don, are you still writing articles...
26
00:02:27,701 --> 00:02:29,681
for, u h, Pharmaceuticals Illustrated?
27
00:02:29,736 --> 00:02:31,682
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
28
00:02:31,738 --> 00:02:34,844
My next article's called
“Iodine, Schmiodine.“
29
00:02:34,908 --> 00:02:38,219
Could be the most important
cut-and-bruise article ever written.
30
00:02:38,278 --> 00:02:41,384
- I'm sure it will be.
- You <:an't be sure.
31
00:02:41,448 --> 00:02:43,394
The only thing I can be sure of...
32
00:02:43,450 --> 00:02:45,521
is this redhead over here.
33
00:02:45,585 --> 00:02:48,725
- Huh? She's my sweet patootie.
-[Giggling]
34
00:02:49,856 --> 00:02:52,803
Yeah, a darn good
little receptionist too.
35
00:02:52,859 --> 00:02:56,204
Well, I'll see you later.
Oh, listen.
36
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:59,335
Remember that little thing
we discussed? It's our secret.
37
00:02:59,399 --> 00:03:02,312
Absolutely.
Bye-bye, Don.
38
00:03:02,369 --> 00:03:04,508
Bob, guess what.
I'm getting married.
39
00:03:05,939 --> 00:03:07,885
Well, that- That's great.
40
00:03:07,941 --> 00:03:12,014
-I know.
- Uh, that wasn't by any chance the little secret?
41
00:03:12,078 --> 00:03:14,149
Oh, it sure was-
But I want it to stay that way.
42
00:03:14,214 --> 00:03:17,559
- Bob, this is strictly between you and me.
- Mum's the word.
43
00:03:17,617 --> 00:03:19,563
Thank you.
44
00:03:20,754 --> 00:03:23,257
Oh, uh, E-Emily isn't home.
45
00:03:23,323 --> 00:03:26,031
Oh.
46
00:03:26,092 --> 00:03:29,096
I'll, uh-
I'll tell her later.
47
00:03:29,162 --> 00:03:31,665
- Jerry, guess what. I'm getting married.
- What?
48
00:03:31,731 --> 00:03:35,201
It's true- But it's a secret,
so don't tell anybody.
49
00:03:35,268 --> 00:03:38,340
I don't believe it.
Well, I-l mean, I believe it.
50
00:03:38,405 --> 00:03:40,715
That's fantastic.
Who's the lucky guy?
51
00:03:40,774 --> 00:03:43,277
- Don Fezler.
- You mean the guy with the feet?
52
00:03:43,343 --> 00:03:46,688
[ Laughs]
JerryJerry. He's more than that.
53
00:03:46,746 --> 00:03:50,193
He's a writer. He's a creative,
sensitive human being.
54
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:52,958
- Yeah, I know. The guy with the feet.
- Right. The guy with the feet.
55
00:03:53,019 --> 00:03:55,556
That's terrific, Carol.
Have you set the date yet?
56
00:03:55,622 --> 00:03:59,035
- No, not yet.
- Good. Well, I mean, we got plans to make.
57
00:03:59,092 --> 00:04:02,232
Gifts to buy, halls to rent.
You mind if I tell Bob?
58
00:04:02,295 --> 00:04:05,208
- He already knows, but he's the only other one.
- Right.
59
00:04:05,265 --> 00:04:09,475
- Carol, you waited, but you got
yourself a real winner. - Oh, thanksJer.
60
00:04:11,838 --> 00:04:14,785
A real loser, Bob.
We can't let Carol marry that guy.
61
00:04:15,842 --> 00:04:17,947
Fine. We'll kill him.
62
00:04:18,011 --> 00:04:19,957
Bob, you know what I mean.
He's the dregs.
63
00:04:20,013 --> 00:04:22,050
He's the bottom of the barrel.
He's nothin'.
64
00:04:22,115 --> 00:04:25,892
Don't get me wrong. I like him,
but, uh, he's not right for Carol.
65
00:04:25,952 --> 00:04:28,330
Well, he's all right.
He'sjusta little vague.
66
00:04:28,388 --> 00:04:30,493
I mean, anyway,
it's Carol's decision.
67
00:04:30,557 --> 00:04:32,559
I've never seen her so happy
and bubbling over.
68
00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:35,435
Oh,yeah, she's a regular
Ronald McDonald.
69
00:04:35,495 --> 00:04:38,203
That doesn't mean she knows
what she's doing, Bob.
70
00:04:38,264 --> 00:04:40,266
I mean, the guy's
out of work half the time-
71
00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:42,279
And what happens
if he loses thisjob?
72
00:04:42,335 --> 00:04:45,282
With those feet, how's he gonna
stand in the unemployment line?
73
00:04:47,407 --> 00:04:49,512
L-I understand this new
cut-and-bruise article of his...
74
00:04:49,576 --> 00:04:51,681
is supposed to open up
a lot of new doors for him.
75
00:04:51,745 --> 00:04:54,692
Come on, Bob, we can't
let this happen. We gotta head it off.
76
00:04:54,748 --> 00:04:56,694
- Without killing him.
{Knocking}
77
00:04:57,751 --> 00:04:59,822
Well, what are the plans?
78
00:04:59,886 --> 00:05:01,832
Which plans?
P-Plans,yeah.
79
00:05:01,888 --> 00:05:03,890
Uh, well, I'm gonna throw
this big engagement party...
80
00:05:03,957 --> 00:05:08,303
- for you and Don at my place next, uh, Tuesday.
Jerry, thank you. Thank you.
81
00:05:08,361 --> 00:05:10,967
- What's Don's favorite food?
- Anything.
82
00:05:11,031 --> 00:05:13,033
Aha.
83
00:05:14,501 --> 00:05:16,947
I get it.
We're gonna poison him.
84
00:05:23,076 --> 00:05:25,022
What do you think?
85
00:05:25,078 --> 00:05:28,719
Well, the O.K. Burger Corral,
so far, is, uh, okay.
86
00:05:28,782 --> 00:05:31,262
It's clean and attractive,
and it has a cute theme.
87
00:05:31,317 --> 00:05:34,526
If the food's any good,
I'll give 'em a good review.
88
00:05:34,587 --> 00:05:36,999
Wow. My girl's a newspaperman.
89
00:05:37,057 --> 00:05:39,003
[Chuckles]
90
00:05:39,059 --> 00:05:41,005
Gosh. Three weeks on the Herald...
91
00:05:41,061 --> 00:05:43,234
and already you're doing
your first hamburger feature.
92
00:05:43,296 --> 00:05:46,800
With my own byline.
I just can't decide on the title.
93
00:05:46,866 --> 00:05:50,040
Well, I still like the sound
of“Chopped Meat ls My Beat.“
94
00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:52,845
We should get great service- You know,
because they want a good review.
95
00:05:52,906 --> 00:05:55,079
Oh, Howard, I don't want them
to know they're being reviewed.
96
00:05:55,141 --> 00:05:57,143
I just want to be treated
like a regular customer.
97
00:05:57,210 --> 00:05:59,747
All right, here's your menus.
98
00:05:59,813 --> 00:06:03,351
Make sure you're ready
to order when I get back.
99
00:06:03,416 --> 00:06:06,295
“Service... surly.“
100
00:06:06,352 --> 00:06:10,300
Look at this. All the hamburgers
are named after famous cowboys.
101
00:06:10,356 --> 00:06:12,962
Thejessejames Burger.
102
00:06:13,026 --> 00:06:15,131
The Buffalo Bill Burger.
103
00:06:15,195 --> 00:06:18,005
You know, I may have
the Earp Burger.
104
00:06:18,064 --> 00:06:20,738
Well, Bob only likes
his hamburgers with mustard...
105
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,110
sol think I'll order him a Yellow Belly.
106
00:06:25,205 --> 00:06:27,344
All right, who's gonna open?
107
00:06:28,675 --> 00:06:30,621
Uh-
108
00:06:30,677 --> 00:06:32,623
Check to you, Howard.
109
00:06:33,713 --> 00:06:35,659
I'll have the, uh-
110
00:06:40,887 --> 00:06:43,561
uh, Hickok Burger...
111
00:06:44,557 --> 00:06:46,969
and a Billy the Kidney Bean Salad.
112
00:06:47,026 --> 00:06:51,736
I'll have a Grub Stake Burger
with Doc Hollandaise sauce.
113
00:06:51,798 --> 00:06:54,677
Yeah, and I'll have
a Yellow Belly and, uh-
114
00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:57,578
What's your name
for a plain tuna fish sandwich?
115
00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:03,247
Tuna fish sandwich.
That's a good name for it.
116
00:07:14,154 --> 00:07:18,068
- Howdy, partner.
- Smile when you say that, Howard.
117
00:07:19,626 --> 00:07:21,936
It's an interesting place.
118
00:07:21,995 --> 00:07:24,100
- I'll be the judge of that.
- Oh, that's right.
119
00:07:24,164 --> 00:07:26,974
We're having dinner
with Lois Lane tonight, aren't we?
120
00:07:27,033 --> 00:07:29,138
Howard, will you go
to the men's room?
121
00:07:29,202 --> 00:07:31,375
I don't have to.
122
00:07:31,437 --> 00:07:33,644
No, but I need you to check it out
so that I can review it.
123
00:07:33,706 --> 00:07:36,152
Emily and I have already
checked out the Schoolmarms' Room.
124
00:07:36,209 --> 00:07:38,849
Ah. I get it. Research.
125
00:07:40,713 --> 00:07:43,353
- What do I look for?
- Tumbleweeds.
126
00:07:47,754 --> 00:07:49,961
So, what's new at the office?
127
00:07:50,023 --> 00:07:52,196
Oh, not much.
I got a new parking space...
128
00:07:52,258 --> 00:07:54,932
the coffee machine's out of order
and Carol's getting married.
129
00:07:54,994 --> 00:07:58,498
- You're kidding.
- No. Uh, parking space number 17.
130
00:07:59,732 --> 00:08:01,769
No. Who's she getting married to?
131
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,610
Oh. Oh, that.
Uh, Don Fezler.
132
00:08:04,671 --> 00:08:09,347
- Oh, no, Bob. Not the guy with the feet.
- That's right.
133
00:08:09,409 --> 00:08:12,288
- What's wrong with his feet?
- Well, they don't work right.
134
00:08:12,345 --> 00:08:14,655
Kind of like the rest of Don.
135
00:08:14,714 --> 00:08:17,285
You knowJerry had
the same reaction.
136
00:08:17,350 --> 00:08:20,490
I mean, Carol's the only one who
doesn't think she's making a mistake.
137
00:08:20,553 --> 00:08:23,295
- Maybe she's running scared.
- Oh, but hobbling through life with Don...
138
00:08:23,356 --> 00:08:25,302
is certainly not the answer.
139
00:08:25,358 --> 00:08:27,599
Well, he couldn't be any worse
than most of the single guys you meet.
140
00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:31,403
It's a jungle out there, Bob.
I was really lucky to find Howard.
141
00:08:31,464 --> 00:08:34,138
It's that tough, huh?
142
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,579
- It's tough and it's cold.
- You haven't even tasted it yet.
143
00:08:37,637 --> 00:08:39,583
No, I-
I didn't mean-
144
00:08:39,639 --> 00:08:41,585
That's okay.
I just work here.
145
00:08:43,376 --> 00:08:45,686
“Service- extremely surly.“
146
00:08:45,745 --> 00:08:47,918
Wow! That Gunfighter Room
is really terrific.
147
00:08:47,981 --> 00:08:50,655
You know, they carried the cowboy theme
right in there. You should see it.
148
00:08:50,717 --> 00:08:52,663
- How was it?
- Perfect.
149
00:08:52,719 --> 00:08:55,563
Except, uh, one saddle
was out of order.
150
00:09:03,329 --> 00:09:06,071
Hey, I really like what you guys
have done with your apartment.
151
00:09:06,132 --> 00:09:08,078
It's a lot nicer
than what it used to be.
152
00:09:08,134 --> 00:09:10,444
Th-Thank you.
153
00:09:10,503 --> 00:09:13,040
Uh, Don?
This isn't our apartment. lt'sjerry's.
154
00:09:13,106 --> 00:09:15,609
On. Who's Jerry?
155
00:09:16,809 --> 00:09:19,551
My friend from the office-
The orthodontist.
156
00:09:19,612 --> 00:09:22,752
The guy with the nose?
157
00:09:26,019 --> 00:09:28,397
Don, I couldn't help
noticing your sandals.
158
00:09:28,454 --> 00:09:30,400
Oh,yeah. You like 'em, huh?
159
00:09:30,456 --> 00:09:32,902
Yeah. They're called Dirt Shoes.
160
00:09:34,861 --> 00:09:37,637
- How's it goingJimmy?
- lfsjerry.
161
00:09:37,697 --> 00:09:41,543
Oh. Right. Right.
It's a very nice party.
162
00:09:41,601 --> 00:09:43,547
Oh, thank you.
I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.
163
00:09:43,603 --> 00:09:46,311
- It's a shame that more of your friends
couldn't come. - Hey, no sweat.
164
00:09:46,372 --> 00:09:48,318
What are friends anyway?
165
00:09:48,374 --> 00:09:50,650
My friends are the trees-
166
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:53,122
The wind that whispers.
167
00:09:53,179 --> 00:09:58,390
And, of course, Lou Benson,
but I haven't seen him since the seventh grade.
168
00:10:01,454 --> 00:10:04,958
- Can you believe that clown?
-jerry, I don't know why you call him a clown.
169
00:10:05,024 --> 00:10:07,334
Just because he, uh, he walks funny...
170
00:10:07,393 --> 00:10:09,669
and his pants are kind of baggy and...
171
00:10:11,297 --> 00:10:14,176
people laugh at him, I mean,
that doesn't mean he's a clown.
172
00:10:14,233 --> 00:10:16,338
Well, those are some
very good reasons.
173
00:10:16,402 --> 00:10:18,575
I guess what Bob means-
He's not wearing a red rubber nose.
174
00:10:18,638 --> 00:10:20,709
Bob, you're absolutely right.
175
00:10:20,773 --> 00:10:23,253
I've never seen Carol look so happy.
176
00:10:23,309 --> 00:10:25,311
Uh, Don is a little strange.
177
00:10:25,378 --> 00:10:27,380
- [ Chuckling] Oh.
- You too, Ellen?
178
00:10:27,447 --> 00:10:29,620
I mean,just give the guy a chance.
179
00:10:29,682 --> 00:10:33,459
I like Don.
Makes a lot of sense to me.
180
00:10:33,519 --> 00:10:37,490
Then again, maybe I'm wrong about Don.
181
00:10:37,557 --> 00:10:39,559
You know what he said
when I told him I was a navigator?
182
00:10:39,625 --> 00:10:42,196
He said, uh, “Life is ajetliner.
183
00:10:42,261 --> 00:10:46,038
“You've got your ups.
You've got your downs.
184
00:10:46,099 --> 00:10:48,045
“And whatever you do...
185
00:10:48,101 --> 00:10:50,547
try to get a window seat.“
186
00:10:52,705 --> 00:10:55,686
- That is kind of beautiful.
- Thank you, Bob.
187
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:58,882
Hey, uh, everybody. Uh-
188
00:10:58,945 --> 00:11:02,449
Everybody, could I, uh, have
your attention here a minute?
189
00:11:03,883 --> 00:11:07,228
Oh, hey, that's kind of expensive.
190
00:11:07,286 --> 00:11:09,232
Yeah, it's nice.
191
00:11:09,288 --> 00:11:13,168
Listen, I'm, uh-
I'm gonna be marrying, uh-
192
00:11:14,727 --> 00:11:17,139
- Carol.
- Uh, Carol here.
193
00:11:17,196 --> 00:11:20,177
Anyway, I don't want any minister
putting words in our mouths.
194
00:11:20,233 --> 00:11:22,179
I don't want, uh, any rings.
195
00:11:22,235 --> 00:11:24,181
We don't even want a wedding cake.
196
00:11:24,237 --> 00:11:27,343
- How about a gift?
- Well, we're not fanatics.
197
00:11:27,407 --> 00:11:29,353
Anyway, uh, this is what...
198
00:11:29,409 --> 00:11:31,685
I'm going to be saying
to Carol at the wedding...
199
00:11:31,744 --> 00:11:34,725
and I'cljust like to kind of
bounce it off of you.
200
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:38,251
Don, honey, maybe these people
aren't interested.
201
00:11:38,317 --> 00:11:41,696
Oh. Well, whoever doesn't
want to hear it can leave.
202
00:11:41,754 --> 00:11:44,530
I mean,you know,
we're not bulls in a pen.
203
00:11:44,590 --> 00:11:46,661
I mean, we can come and go.
204
00:11:46,726 --> 00:11:48,706
Anyway, I'm glad you've all...
205
00:11:48,761 --> 00:11:51,071
decided to stay,
and here's what it is.
206
00:11:51,130 --> 00:11:54,236
“Now we're young
and firm of flesh...
207
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:56,541
“and our love will endure...
208
00:11:56,602 --> 00:12:00,243
“even as we grow old
and our hair falls out...
209
00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:02,343
“and ourjaws grow slack...
210
00:12:02,408 --> 00:12:06,857
“and our skin becomes
wrinkled and loose...
211
00:12:06,913 --> 00:12:08,859
- and ourjoints begin to“-
- Don. Don. Don.
212
00:12:08,915 --> 00:12:11,191
- Honey, I think that'll be enough. Thank you.
- Was that too sentimental?
213
00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:13,196
- Uh, yeah.
- Well, that's only the first draft.
214
00:12:13,252 --> 00:12:15,198
-I know.
- [Jerry] I'm gonna get some ice.
215
00:12:15,254 --> 00:12:17,256
Yeah, well, I think we gotta go too.
216
00:12:17,323 --> 00:12:20,827
- Come on, Howard.
- Yeah, well, it was nice seeing you, Don.
217
00:12:20,893 --> 00:12:24,636
Oh, yeah. it's my pleasure.
Listen, uh-
218
00:12:24,697 --> 00:12:28,235
Good luck with your writing career.
Send me a copy of that article.
219
00:12:28,301 --> 00:12:33,250
- Well, it's just about hamburgers.
- Life is a hamburger.
220
00:12:33,306 --> 00:12:35,479
I thought you said
life was a jetliner.
221
00:12:35,541 --> 00:12:37,521
No. It's a hamburger.
222
00:12:37,577 --> 00:12:40,615
Fry some of the fat away,
take a couple of bites-
223
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,626
it's gone.
224
00:12:42,682 --> 00:12:44,286
And so are we.
225
00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:46,296
- Bye-bye.
- Nice talking to you.
226
00:12:46,352 --> 00:12:48,832
- Bye.
- Well, what do you think, Bob?
227
00:12:48,888 --> 00:12:51,528
It, uh, could be a hamburger.
228
00:12:51,591 --> 00:12:54,367
Then again, it could be ajetliner.
229
00:12:54,427 --> 00:12:57,340
Well, we'll get back
to you on that, Don.
230
00:12:57,396 --> 00:13:00,377
- Good night. Good night, Carol.
- Night.
231
00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:03,812
- Night. - Well, we might as well
be on our way too, huh, baby?
232
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,976
Uh, Don,we really should
helpjerry clean up.
233
00:13:07,039 --> 00:13:10,282
Oh, I wish I had time, but I-
234
00:13:10,343 --> 00:13:12,653
I mean, I gotta get my feet
in some hot water.
235
00:13:12,712 --> 00:13:15,192
And besides that,
I'm really tired.
236
00:13:15,248 --> 00:13:17,990
I know, I know. Listen. You go on,
and I'll call you in the morning.
237
00:13:18,050 --> 00:13:20,690
I can't leavejerry with this mess.
You go on.
238
00:13:20,753 --> 00:13:23,324
- You're fantastic.
- Oh.
239
00:13:23,389 --> 00:13:26,165
Imagine what F. Scott Fitzgerald
could have done...
240
00:13:26,225 --> 00:13:28,671
if he'd have had you instead ofZelda.
241
00:13:30,229 --> 00:13:32,175
Bye.
242
00:13:33,733 --> 00:13:36,441
- Where'd everybody go?
- Well, Don had to soak his feet.
243
00:13:36,502 --> 00:13:40,109
- Where?
Jerry.
244
00:13:40,172 --> 00:13:42,118
- Not here, at home.
- Oh, yeah.
245
00:13:42,174 --> 00:13:44,882
- Come on. I'll helpyou clean up.
- No, don't bother with that.
246
00:13:44,944 --> 00:13:47,857
The cleaning lady will get it
in the morning. Sit down.
247
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:52,056
- So, old Carol's gonna get herself married, huh?
- Yeah.
248
00:13:52,118 --> 00:13:55,395
I'm gonna take that great big step
with that terrific guy.
249
00:13:55,454 --> 00:13:59,402
- Isn't he somethingJerry?
- Yeah, he's really something else.
250
00:13:59,458 --> 00:14:02,371
- Carol, I'm gonna hate to lose you.
- Aw. I'll be around.
251
00:14:02,428 --> 00:14:04,374
Yeah, but it won't be the same.
252
00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:06,376
HeyJerry, you know, maybe you and-
253
00:14:11,704 --> 00:14:14,708
Uh, Carol, that never happened.
254
00:14:15,775 --> 00:14:17,777
No.
255
00:14:19,378 --> 00:14:21,324
Well, neither did this.
256
00:14:31,824 --> 00:14:33,770
[Elevator Bell Dings]
257
00:14:40,733 --> 00:14:43,179
- HLJerry. You waiting for a bus?
- Oh, hi, Bob.
258
00:14:43,235 --> 00:14:46,512
No, I just came into the office early
to catch up on the sports.
259
00:14:46,572 --> 00:14:48,643
- Oh. Come on in.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
260
00:14:48,708 --> 00:14:51,211
Thought you played, uh,
played tennis every Wednesday morning.
261
00:14:51,277 --> 00:14:53,223
Oh, do I, Bob?
262
00:14:55,414 --> 00:14:58,020
Every, uh- Every Wednesday
for the past three years.
263
00:14:58,084 --> 00:15:00,394
Oh, really, Bob?
[Chuckles]
264
00:15:04,023 --> 00:15:07,561
- What's that?
- Oh, this is called the Breakfast Sizzler.
265
00:15:07,627 --> 00:15:09,629
It's a...
266
00:15:09,695 --> 00:15:12,869
hamburger with an orange slice
on a bran muffin.
267
00:15:14,967 --> 00:15:17,106
I promised Ellen I'd review it for her.
268
00:15:23,476 --> 00:15:25,422
Boo.
269
00:15:29,548 --> 00:15:31,494
Bob, you'll never guess
what happened last night...
270
00:15:31,550 --> 00:15:33,757
between Carol and me
after you left.
271
00:15:33,819 --> 00:15:36,095
- What happened? You get involved?
- Boy, did I ever.
272
00:15:36,155 --> 00:15:39,432
- You're- You're kidding.
- No, and I don't even know whyl did it, Bob.
273
00:15:39,492 --> 00:15:41,438
I mean, there we were,
alone in my apartment.
274
00:15:41,494 --> 00:15:44,031
I was sitting here. She was
sitting there, about where you are.
275
00:15:44,096 --> 00:15:47,441
I looked into her eyes, and all of
a sudden I-l couldn't think straight.
276
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:50,276
The hair on the back
of my neck got all bristly.
277
00:15:50,336 --> 00:15:52,282
Then I... touched her.
278
00:15:53,739 --> 00:15:56,982
- Then some strange feeling, Bob.
I didn't know what- Jerry?
279
00:15:58,210 --> 00:16:01,157
L, uh-l don't think
we should go any further.
280
00:16:02,882 --> 00:16:05,795
Bob, there was passion.
There was chemistry between us.
281
00:16:05,851 --> 00:16:08,024
I mean, we had a real relationship.
282
00:16:08,087 --> 00:16:10,124
]e_rry, you mean
you're In love with Carol?
283
00:16:10,189 --> 00:16:12,294
Oh, no. Nothing like that.
284
00:16:12,358 --> 00:16:17,000
Wh-Wh-What's love, Bob?I mean,
love's a word. Who knows what love is?
285
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,737
- Don probably does.
- Don!
286
00:16:19,799 --> 00:16:23,838
Maybe that's why I did it.
I just don't want Carol to marry that guy.
287
00:16:23,903 --> 00:16:27,146
- Well, are you gonna marry her?
- No, I'm not gonna marry anybody right now.
288
00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:30,210
Then you gotta let her go. I mean,
Don's made a commitment, and you haven't.
289
00:16:30,276 --> 00:16:34,281
Are you kiddin'? It's not gonna be easy
after last night tojust get rid of her.
290
00:16:34,346 --> 00:16:36,292
I mean, she's crazy about me, Bob.
291
00:16:40,219 --> 00:16:42,165
Okay.
292
00:16:42,221 --> 00:16:44,167
- Here we are.
- [Knocking]
293
00:16:44,223 --> 00:16:46,169
- Coming.
- [Chirp/mg]
294
00:16:46,225 --> 00:16:48,205
lust a minute.
295
00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:50,240
justa minute.
296
00:16:52,898 --> 00:16:55,003
- Oh, hi, Carol.
- Hi, Emily.
297
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:57,172
Uh, can I talk to you for a minute?
298
00:16:57,236 --> 00:16:59,512
Sure, but shouldn't you be at work?
299
00:16:59,572 --> 00:17:01,518
Yeah, I should be, but I've got
something on my mind...
300
00:17:01,574 --> 00:17:03,747
and I've gotta talk to somebody...
301
00:17:03,809 --> 00:17:06,221
who isn't holding a duck.
302
00:17:06,278 --> 00:17:09,623
Oh. Well, Lucky and I don't have
to be in class for a few minutes.
303
00:17:09,682 --> 00:17:12,128
What is it?
Is it something about Don?
304
00:17:12,184 --> 00:17:14,562
Uh, no, no, no.
It's aboutjerry.
305
00:17:16,355 --> 00:17:18,596
- [ Chirping Continues]
- Oh?
306
00:17:18,657 --> 00:17:21,160
Yeah, I stayed, uh-
I stayed at his apartment...
307
00:17:21,227 --> 00:17:23,503
for a little while
after everybody left last night.
308
00:17:23,562 --> 00:17:26,441
- Oh.
- And, you know, things just sort of happened.
309
00:17:26,499 --> 00:17:28,877
- U h-h u h.
- I'm not gonna bore you with the details.
310
00:17:28,934 --> 00:17:31,414
No, well, you know-
Whatever you feel.
311
00:17:31,470 --> 00:17:34,917
I'm just trying to think why
I consciously threw myselfatjerry.
312
00:17:34,974 --> 00:17:37,352
Well, Carol, I know so little about it.
313
00:17:37,409 --> 00:17:39,355
It couldn't have been
a romance, could it?
314
00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:41,357
Well, I don't know.
I mean, that depends on what went on.
315
00:17:41,413 --> 00:17:45,691
-I mean, a little or a lot?
- [ Chuckles] Really, it's not important.
316
00:17:45,751 --> 00:17:48,595
Oh, it didn't mean that much.
I mean, uh-
317
00:17:48,654 --> 00:17:51,260
You know what's important here
is that I'm engaged to Don, right?
318
00:17:51,323 --> 00:17:55,066
- Right.
- Then why am I fooling around withjerry?
319
00:17:55,127 --> 00:17:57,767
Emily, I have a bona fide
marriage proposal here.
320
00:17:57,830 --> 00:18:00,504
Well, look, Carol. You don't have
to worry. I mean, there's no rush.
321
00:18:00,566 --> 00:18:03,410
Carol, I didn't get married
till I was almost 30.
322
00:18:03,469 --> 00:18:06,211
Wonderful. Then I won't worry
until two years ago.
323
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,411
Carol, there is absolutely no panic.
324
00:18:10,476 --> 00:18:12,786
Ah, yes, there is, Emily. Yes.
325
00:18:12,845 --> 00:18:16,486
Listen. I want a full marriage,
complete with children.
326
00:18:16,549 --> 00:18:19,223
- And that can take time.
- Well, I know.
327
00:18:19,285 --> 00:18:22,095
Can't you see why I need your advice,
and why I'm in a hurry?
328
00:18:22,154 --> 00:18:24,100
Well, Carol, I-
329
00:18:24,156 --> 00:18:26,898
I-I really don't know
what advice to give you.
330
00:18:26,959 --> 00:18:29,838
- Oh. Okay.
- [ Chirping Continues]
331
00:18:29,895 --> 00:18:31,841
I'll ask the duck.
332
00:18:31,897 --> 00:18:34,810
Carol, look, there is
one thing I'm sure of...
333
00:18:34,867 --> 00:18:36,938
and that is that you should
not marry anybody...
334
00:18:37,002 --> 00:18:39,539
unless you're absolutely sure
that you're in love with him.
335
00:18:39,605 --> 00:18:41,551
Well, I'm not really
in love withjerry.
336
00:18:41,607 --> 00:18:44,144
- Well, are you in love with Don?
- Oh, I don't know.
337
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,747
I guess maybe.
[Chuckles] I mean-
338
00:18:46,812 --> 00:18:48,917
Well, he is a little
possessive sometimes...
339
00:18:48,981 --> 00:18:52,258
and when you get right down to it, he can
be annoying and I guess a little boring.
340
00:18:52,318 --> 00:18:54,320
What do you think of him?
341
00:18:54,386 --> 00:18:56,798
- Carol, you really want to know?
- Oh, I do. Now you be honest.
342
00:18:56,856 --> 00:19:00,633
Well, I never did think Don was
right for you, and I do agree with you.
343
00:19:00,693 --> 00:19:03,936
I mean, he's boring
and he's annoying and-
344
00:19:03,996 --> 00:19:05,998
Uh, did you say “insensitive“?
345
00:19:06,065 --> 00:19:08,375
- No.
- I thinkyou should add that.
346
00:19:08,434 --> 00:19:10,380
Just a minute, Emily.
347
00:19:10,436 --> 00:19:12,382
Do you thinkyour marriage
is such a bargain?
348
00:19:12,438 --> 00:19:14,384
He is not a perfect person, Bob.
349
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,442
- Oh.
- Listen. This is a man-
350
00:19:19,345 --> 00:19:21,325
[Ringing]
351
00:19:24,516 --> 00:19:28,123
Hello. Dr., uh, Robinson's office.
352
00:19:29,688 --> 00:19:31,634
Ricky- Uh, Ricky Rasmussen.
353
00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:33,636
Justa minute.
354
00:19:35,027 --> 00:19:37,701
Uh, yeah, he's with
Dr. Robinson right now.
355
00:19:39,198 --> 00:19:42,042
Yeah, I can get a message to him,
Mrs. Rasmussen.
356
00:19:43,102 --> 00:19:47,312
“Ricky, you- You did it again.
357
00:19:47,373 --> 00:19:51,321
You left without feeding
the dog and making your“-
358
00:19:51,377 --> 00:19:54,324
M-Mrs. Rasmussen?
Yeah, could you slow down just a bit?
359
00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:56,553
I don't take shorthand.
360
00:19:58,384 --> 00:20:01,729
R-Reached the end of your rope.
361
00:20:02,721 --> 00:20:04,860
Best years of your life.
362
00:20:06,492 --> 00:20:09,666
L-I don't know what's wrong with
kids today either, Mrs. Rasmussen.
363
00:20:09,728 --> 00:20:12,231
All right, I'll get it to him.
Good-bye.
364
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,505
Not as easy as it looks, huh, Bob?
365
00:20:14,566 --> 00:20:17,877
Oh, glad to see you. I was beginning
to wonder if you were ever gonna show up.
366
00:20:17,937 --> 00:20:20,679
Oh, I'm sorry I'm late.
I was talking to Emily.
367
00:20:20,739 --> 00:20:25,245
- Oh. Anything important?
- No, no, no.just my life.
368
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:27,552
Yeah, I was talking tojerry
about the same thing.
369
00:20:27,613 --> 00:20:30,617
Bob, now what happened between
Jerry and me doesn't change anything.
370
00:20:30,683 --> 00:20:33,061
It, uh, sure fooled him.
371
00:20:33,118 --> 00:20:35,359
Well, I guess I better
talk to him, huh?
372
00:20:35,421 --> 00:20:37,094
- Yea h.
- [ Phone Rings]
373
00:20:39,591 --> 00:20:42,367
[Ringing Continues
374
00:20:42,428 --> 00:20:44,374
You gonna get that?
375
00:20:46,265 --> 00:20:48,211
Yeah. Sure.
376
00:20:49,768 --> 00:20:51,907
Hello?
377
00:20:51,971 --> 00:20:54,474
N-No, he hasn't come out yet,
Mrs. Rasmussen.
378
00:20:55,908 --> 00:20:58,013
You- You wanna add something?
Okay.
379
00:20:59,878 --> 00:21:03,416
He'll have children
of his own one day.
380
00:21:06,385 --> 00:21:09,264
I'll get that message to him.
Right. Good-bye.
381
00:21:12,624 --> 00:21:14,570
Oh, uh-
382
00:21:14,626 --> 00:21:16,867
Ricky, you wanna read that?
383
00:21:27,239 --> 00:21:29,185
Kids today.
384
00:21:29,241 --> 00:21:31,187
Listen, I, uh-
385
00:21:31,243 --> 00:21:33,189
I'll buzzjerry, and I'd appreciate it...
386
00:21:33,245 --> 00:21:36,226
if you'd go in my office
and settle this as soon as possible.
387
00:21:36,281 --> 00:21:38,227
- Hmm.
- And, uh...
388
00:21:38,283 --> 00:21:41,196
show me how to buzzjerry.
389
00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:46,563
H-H-Hello?
390
00:21:46,625 --> 00:21:48,866
[Jew]
Yeah, Bob? Who's next?
391
00:21:48,927 --> 00:21:51,635
Uh, you're nextjerry.
Can you come out here a minute?
392
00:21:51,697 --> 00:21:53,643
Sure.
393
00:21:58,437 --> 00:22:02,112
Well, I'm gonna call everything off, Bob.
I just need more time.
394
00:22:02,174 --> 00:22:05,178
You know what you're, uh,
you're gonna say to him?
395
00:22:05,244 --> 00:22:07,315
I don't know exactly
what I'm gonna say...
396
00:22:07,379 --> 00:22:09,620
but I'm sure when I sit
in your magic chair...
397
00:22:09,681 --> 00:22:11,718
it'll all come together.
398
00:22:12,785 --> 00:22:14,731
Yeah, Bob, what's up?
399
00:22:14,787 --> 00:22:18,496
Uh, Carol's in my office.
She wants to talk to you.
400
00:22:18,557 --> 00:22:23,631
- Oh. Uh, she was pretty shook up, huh?
- A little.
401
00:22:23,695 --> 00:22:26,175
Well, love can do funny things, Bob.
402
00:22:26,231 --> 00:22:28,177
Don't worry about it.
403
00:22:28,233 --> 00:22:30,304
I'll let her down real easy.
404
00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:36,486
[Elevator Bell Dings]
405
00:22:38,911 --> 00:22:40,857
Hey'.!
406
00:22:40,913 --> 00:22:44,588
How come you're sitting
on my little Miss Muffet's tuffet?
407
00:22:44,650 --> 00:22:47,654
She's, uh-
She's using my tuffet.
408
00:22:47,719 --> 00:22:49,721
Oh.
409
00:22:49,788 --> 00:22:52,029
Oh, I get what you're doing.
410
00:22:52,091 --> 00:22:55,834
- You switched places.
- I'll tell Carol you're here.
411
00:22:55,894 --> 00:22:57,840
Oh, there's no rush.
412
00:22:57,896 --> 00:23:02,345
I just dropped by to, uh,
show her the new draft on the vows.
413
00:23:04,103 --> 00:23:06,049
- Hey, hLJimmy.
- Hi, Don.
414
00:23:07,573 --> 00:23:10,713
- UhJerry, is, uh, everything okay?
- Yeah?
415
00:23:10,776 --> 00:23:13,882
Oh, yeah, it's fine, Bob.
She took it just great.
416
00:23:17,616 --> 00:23:19,721
- Hi, baby.
- Hi, Don.
417
00:23:19,785 --> 00:23:22,766
- Bob, could I use your office for
another talk with Don? - Yeah, sure.
418
00:23:22,821 --> 00:23:26,428
- Wait till you read the second draft of the vows.
- Oh, uh, Don?
419
00:23:26,492 --> 00:23:29,132
- H u h?
- When you and Caro/are finished...
420
00:23:29,194 --> 00:23:31,674
uh, talking, I have a...
421
00:23:31,730 --> 00:23:34,768
free hour if you, you know,
just wanna stay in there.
422
00:23:34,833 --> 00:23:38,940
- Why would I wanna do that?
- I don't know just-just a hunch.
423
00:23:39,004 --> 00:23:41,507
[Ringing]
424
00:23:43,575 --> 00:23:45,612
Dr. Robinson's office.
425
00:23:46,778 --> 00:23:49,691
Yeah, he's on his way home,
Mrs. Rasmussen.
426
00:23:49,748 --> 00:23:52,024
I know he's very tough to handle.
427
00:23:52,084 --> 00:23:55,122
Look at it this way.
Life is a- a hamburger.
428
00:24:01,727 --> 00:24:04,298
There you are.
Chew it slowly.
429
00:24:04,363 --> 00:24:07,310
If you're thirsty,
there's your water.
430
00:24:07,366 --> 00:24:10,142
And if you're not,
just let it roll off your back.
431
00:24:10,202 --> 00:24:12,148
[Chuckles]
432
00:24:14,873 --> 00:24:18,480
- You know, it's a heartwarming scene.
- Hmm?
433
00:24:18,544 --> 00:24:22,856
A man, his wife and their duck.
434
00:24:22,915 --> 00:24:26,328
Except it's not our duck.
It belongs to the school.
435
00:24:26,385 --> 00:24:29,832
- Then why doesn't he live there?
- Because thejanitofs afraid of ducks.
436
00:24:29,888 --> 00:24:32,164
You know, I looked
all through the paper...
437
00:24:32,224 --> 00:24:34,170
and I can't find Ellen's article...
438
00:24:34,226 --> 00:24:37,435
- and I was sure it was in today's paper.
- Oh, dear.
439
00:24:38,797 --> 00:24:43,007
I hope it's not the section
I lined Luckys cage with.
440
00:24:48,407 --> 00:24:50,683
- I'm afraid it is.
- Oh.
441
00:24:50,742 --> 00:24:54,349
“Chicago's Best Burger Bets.“
442
00:24:54,413 --> 00:24:57,053
Oh. How'd the O.K. Burger
Corral do?
443
00:24:57,115 --> 00:24:59,061
Which one do you want first...
444
00:24:59,117 --> 00:25:01,119
Ellen's opinions, or the duck's?
445
00:25:35,087 --> 00:25:36,589
[ Mews]
36299
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