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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:09,756 --> 00:01:13,363 And now that I finally got a boyfriend, my father doesn't approve of him. 2 00:01:13,426 --> 00:01:16,339 Just because your- your boyfriend's name is Tank? 3 00:01:16,396 --> 00:01:18,637 Yeah, and because Tank's a mechanic. 4 00:01:18,698 --> 00:01:23,704 My father says no guy named Tank with dirty fingernails is gonna come into his house. 5 00:01:23,770 --> 00:01:25,750 What- What did you say to that? 6 00:01:25,806 --> 00:01:28,582 I said, “Well, if you won't let him in the house... 7 00:01:28,642 --> 00:01:31,145 why don't you spend some time with him on your garbage truck?“ 8 00:01:32,779 --> 00:01:36,522 But he wouldn't listen to me. He never does. 9 00:01:36,583 --> 00:01:39,189 Talking to him is like talkin' to your desk... 10 00:01:39,252 --> 00:01:43,166 except your desk has a better personality. 11 00:01:43,223 --> 00:01:45,669 Well, maybe that's, uh- that's where we ought to start. 12 00:01:45,725 --> 00:01:49,537 - Okay. Look, desk. The thing of it is- - No. No. No, no. 13 00:01:49,596 --> 00:01:52,839 L, uh-l have something in here I think might be useful. 14 00:01:52,899 --> 00:01:54,901 I've used it with, uh- with other patients. 15 00:01:54,968 --> 00:01:59,940 Oh. I get it. That's my father, and we're gonna stick pins in it. 16 00:02:00,006 --> 00:02:05,183 No, no. It's not a voodoo doll. It's a puppet. l-lfyou can't talk to your father, she can. 17 00:02:05,245 --> 00:02:08,226 She can say the things that you'd like to say if- if you had the nerve. 18 00:02:08,281 --> 00:02:11,262 Oh, he's gonna know that's not me. 19 00:02:11,318 --> 00:02:16,427 Well, why- why don't you just pretend that I'm your father and, uh- and go ahead. 20 00:02:16,489 --> 00:02:18,867 Okay. 21 00:02:18,925 --> 00:02:23,874 Hi, Daddy. My name's Michelle. I hate your guts. 22 00:02:25,432 --> 00:02:27,708 You know, I- I don't thinkyou wanna go that way. 23 00:02:27,767 --> 00:02:32,079 I need a little practice. I mean, my lips probably moved when I said “guts? 24 00:02:35,075 --> 00:02:37,555 Yeah. Why don't you just take that home and work with it... 25 00:02:37,611 --> 00:02:39,557 until you're- you're more comfortable with it. 26 00:02:39,613 --> 00:02:41,684 Yeah. And then if I get really good at it... 27 00:02:41,748 --> 00:02:44,661 maybe I'll be able to talk and drink water at the same time. 28 00:02:50,790 --> 00:02:54,101 I hate your guts. I hate your guts. I hate your guts. 29 00:02:55,896 --> 00:02:57,807 Ah. Hi, Carol. 30 00:02:57,864 --> 00:03:00,640 - Ellen, how are you? - Is Bob through for the day? We're goin' home together. 31 00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:04,113 Yes, I think Senor Wences is finished. You can go on in. 32 00:03:04,170 --> 00:03:06,650 - Thanks. - Oh, hey, how's everything with you and Howard? 33 00:03:06,706 --> 00:03:08,913 Oh, okay. Tonight's the big night. 34 00:03:08,975 --> 00:03:11,683 - Gee, I wish I could say that. - [ Chuck/mg] No. 35 00:03:11,745 --> 00:03:16,387 No. I just mean I'm meeting Howard's son, and I'm very nervous about it. 36 00:03:16,449 --> 00:03:19,760 Howard wants me to make a good impression, so he's been rehearsing me all week. 37 00:03:19,819 --> 00:03:22,925 - You'll do fine. - Yeah, I've got the curtsey down pat. 38 00:03:22,989 --> 00:03:26,436 I just have to remember to say, “Your Highness.“ 39 00:03:27,427 --> 00:03:29,668 - Carol. -jer. 40 00:03:29,729 --> 00:03:32,175 - What time is it? - I don't know. 41 00:03:32,232 --> 00:03:36,977 Of course you don't. And you know why? Because we don't have a clock. 42 00:03:37,037 --> 00:03:40,348 I mean, how do you even know when it's time to go home? 43 00:03:40,407 --> 00:03:42,853 I know when it's time to go home. 44 00:03:42,909 --> 00:03:45,150 Well, I'm gonna buy us a clock for right there. 45 00:03:45,211 --> 00:03:49,387 That's a place that says, “Put a clock here. I'm a good place for a clock.“ 46 00:03:49,449 --> 00:03:51,395 It's a... clock spot. 47 00:03:51,451 --> 00:03:54,193 People can get off the elevator and know what the time is. 48 00:03:54,254 --> 00:03:57,827 Bob can look up and know if a patient'; late or just thickened out. 49 00:03:57,891 --> 00:04:01,361 When I say to you, “Carol, what time is it?“ you'll say, “Wait a secondJer! 50 00:04:01,428 --> 00:04:03,533 I'll look at our clock.“ 51 00:04:04,931 --> 00:04:07,036 Well, that's what I see, Carol, and, by geo- 52 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:10,013 [ Mutters] 53 00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:13,313 I was just tryin' to figure out what time it was. 54 00:04:13,373 --> 00:04:15,319 So, uh, what time is it? 55 00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:17,685 I think it's about 5:15. 56 00:04:17,744 --> 00:04:21,749 No, it's not that late. That wall has always been a little fast. 57 00:04:28,621 --> 00:04:30,658 [Clapping Snapping Rhythmically] 58 00:04:30,724 --> 00:04:32,670 [Rhythmically] Baseball teams. 59 00:04:33,727 --> 00:04:35,673 Cubs. 60 00:04:36,730 --> 00:04:38,676 Dodgers. 61 00:04:39,733 --> 00:04:43,340 - Dodgers! - You're out, Dad. 62 00:04:43,403 --> 00:04:47,283 Oh, Howie, let's not kick him out just 'cause he missed I O times in a row. 63 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:49,411 Yeah. Don't kick me out. Now come on. I'm getting it now. 64 00:04:49,476 --> 00:04:52,047 It's really very simple. it's just a matter of coordination. 65 00:04:52,112 --> 00:04:55,787 I got coordination. Look at this. Can you do that? 66 00:04:55,849 --> 00:04:57,829 - Let me see you do that. - Wait. What do you say- 67 00:04:57,884 --> 00:05:00,194 -you think we oughta give the old man another chance? - Okay. 68 00:05:00,253 --> 00:05:02,358 - We're gonna take it very easy. - I won't let you down now. 69 00:05:02,422 --> 00:05:06,165 Just easy. You ready? One, two, three. 70 00:05:08,028 --> 00:05:09,974 - Okay. - Food. 71 00:05:12,265 --> 00:05:14,267 - Grapes. - [Chuckles] 72 00:05:15,368 --> 00:05:17,905 - Potatoes. - [ Grunting Rhythmically] 73 00:05:17,971 --> 00:05:20,781 _ Dodgers! " Oh! ' 74 00:05:21,841 --> 00:05:23,787 - You're out. - Oh! 75 00:05:23,843 --> 00:05:26,414 - I think we've played long enough anyhow, Howard. - I guess I choked. 76 00:05:26,479 --> 00:05:28,516 Well, Howie, I'm gonna get you some milk and cookies. 77 00:05:28,581 --> 00:05:33,291 Oh, milk and cookies! I could have said either one of those things. Oh, am I dumb. 78 00:05:33,353 --> 00:05:36,800 Dad, I'll be right back. I wanna get that surprise to show Aunt Emily. 79 00:05:36,856 --> 00:05:39,097 Okay. 80 00:05:39,159 --> 00:05:42,663 Howard, he is getting cuter every time I see him, and he is so smart. 81 00:05:42,729 --> 00:05:46,074 Yeah. Coordinated too. 82 00:05:46,132 --> 00:05:49,579 He is just gonna love Ellen, and Ellen's gonna love him. 83 00:05:49,636 --> 00:05:53,641 Well, I-l know he'll love Ellen. I mean, uh, I love her. 84 00:05:53,706 --> 00:05:59,156 Why wouldn't he love her? I mean, she's lovable. Besides, I'll tell him to love her. 85 00:05:59,212 --> 00:06:02,091 Howard, how much does Howie know about you and Ellen? 86 00:06:02,148 --> 00:06:05,994 Uh, eh, nothing. I wanted to wait for the right time, you know. I... 87 00:06:06,052 --> 00:06:08,931 wanted to make sure that Ellen didn't drop me. 88 00:06:08,988 --> 00:06:11,264 I didn't want to get his hopes up and then have 'em crushed- 89 00:06:11,324 --> 00:06:14,168 like when I told everyone Chicago was going to get the World's Fair... 90 00:06:14,227 --> 00:06:18,141 - and then Spokane got it. - I see what you mean, Howard. 91 00:06:18,198 --> 00:06:20,974 - We're home, honey. - Oh, hi, dear. Hi, Ellen. 92 00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:24,641 - Hi. Where's Howie? - He went across the hall to Howard's for a minute. 93 00:06:24,704 --> 00:06:27,241 - Oh. - Yeah. You'll have, uh, plenty of time to change. 94 00:06:27,307 --> 00:06:31,881 - Well, why should I change? - Well, uh, you're not gonna wear that, are you? He hates brown. 95 00:06:31,945 --> 00:06:34,516 Oh. Havel got time to bleach my hair? 96 00:06:34,581 --> 00:06:38,893 No, no. That's, uh- That's okay. Um, what'd you get him? 97 00:06:38,952 --> 00:06:41,398 Honey, nothing. 98 00:06:41,454 --> 00:06:45,664 Nothing? No toy, no candy? Nothing? 99 00:06:45,725 --> 00:06:47,898 Howard, Ellen can't buy Howie's love. 100 00:06:47,961 --> 00:06:50,202 Works for me. 101 00:06:50,263 --> 00:06:54,734 Howard, don't you thinkyou're putting Ellen under a lot of pressure? 102 00:06:54,801 --> 00:06:57,748 I'm not putting anyone under pressure. I mean, if- 103 00:06:57,804 --> 00:07:02,150 if Ellen doesn't like Howie and Howie doesn't like Ellen, I don't know what I would do. 104 00:07:02,208 --> 00:07:04,745 Wow. I mean, I don't know what I- it would wreck my whole life. I... 105 00:07:04,811 --> 00:07:06,882 might wind up killing myself. 106 00:07:06,946 --> 00:07:10,792 - I wouldn't call that pressure. - Bob, uh, can I have a drink? 107 00:07:10,850 --> 00:07:13,854 Oh, wait. You're not gonna be holding a drink when Howie comes in, are you? 108 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:17,231 - I'm gonna be holding a drink. - Oh, well, you'rejust going to be his uncle. 109 00:07:19,292 --> 00:07:23,206 - Look, Howard. Howard, will you stop picking at me? - Look. This is ridiculous. 110 00:07:23,263 --> 00:07:26,437 - Now Howie is a nice little boy, a-and Ellen is a nice adult. - [ Door Opens ] 111 00:07:27,567 --> 00:07:29,808 Oh. Hi, Howie. 112 00:07:31,004 --> 00:07:33,109 Howie, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine- 113 00:07:33,173 --> 00:07:35,619 a... very good friend of mine. 114 00:07:35,675 --> 00:07:38,519 Howie, this is Ellen. Ellen, this is Howie. 115 00:07:38,578 --> 00:07:41,149 - Hi, Howie. Gee, I've heard so much about you. - Hi. 116 00:07:42,315 --> 00:07:45,660 I guess I should have said, “Your Highness.“ 117 00:07:48,321 --> 00:07:52,827 You guys are gonna love this place. I eat here a lot when I feel like being alone. 118 00:07:52,892 --> 00:07:54,894 [ Bob] Very intimate. 119 00:07:54,961 --> 00:07:57,635 Uh, Bob- Bob, excuse me. Uh- 120 00:07:57,697 --> 00:08:01,804 Look. This is my treat tonight, uh, so no arguments, okay? 121 00:08:01,868 --> 00:08:05,372 - Fine. - Uh, Bob... 122 00:08:05,438 --> 00:08:08,146 can you lend me $20? 123 00:08:09,409 --> 00:08:11,650 Twenty dollars for ice cream? 124 00:08:11,711 --> 00:08:14,123 This is no dive. I mean, they use real cream. 125 00:08:16,282 --> 00:08:19,388 Ah! Uh, well, Howie... 126 00:08:19,452 --> 00:08:23,525 Aunt Ellen is going to treat us all to ice cream. 127 00:08:24,791 --> 00:08:27,601 Hi, folks. Welcome to Uncle Yummy's. I'm Dave. 128 00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:29,640 - Hi, Dave. - What's your name? 129 00:08:29,696 --> 00:08:32,609 At Uncle Yummy's we like to think of everyone as our close friends. 130 00:08:32,665 --> 00:08:35,441 [Clears Throat] Well, just-just think of me as Bob... 131 00:08:35,501 --> 00:08:37,606 and, uh, this is my wife, Emily. 132 00:08:37,670 --> 00:08:41,345 This is Howard, Ellen, and this is Howie. 133 00:08:41,407 --> 00:08:44,616 - Hi, Howie. How'd you like a hatjust like mine? - Sure. 134 00:08:44,677 --> 00:08:47,419 - Hey, that's a great hat. I'd like one of those. - Sure, Howard. 135 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,086 Two hats: six dollars. 136 00:08:50,149 --> 00:08:54,598 Uh, well, look. That might mess up my hair. just, uh-just give Howie one, okay? 137 00:08:54,654 --> 00:08:58,625 Fine. One hat: four dollars. 138 00:08:58,691 --> 00:09:02,229 - Bob, how 'bout a hat? - N-No. No, thank you. 139 00:09:02,295 --> 00:09:04,502 - Uh, how much are the menus? - [ Both Chuckle] 140 00:09:04,564 --> 00:09:06,510 - No charge, Emily. - Oh. 141 00:09:06,566 --> 00:09:12,175 Bob, Emily, Howie, Ellen and Howard. 142 00:09:12,238 --> 00:09:16,209 The Uncle Yummy's special for this evening is the Glutton's Delight. 143 00:09:16,276 --> 00:09:20,281 - What's that? - Seven flavors of ice cream, seven different toppings... 144 00:09:20,346 --> 00:09:24,488 seven variety of nuts, an almond macaroon served up in a Styrofoam kitchen sink. 145 00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:27,497 How many? 146 00:09:27,553 --> 00:09:31,729 - Okay, then. Howie, what'll you have? - Uh, number 82. 147 00:09:31,791 --> 00:09:35,398 Right- onej ol lyj um per] el lyj am boree. 148 00:09:35,461 --> 00:09:41,412 - Emily? - Well, Dave, I think I'll go with the, uh- 149 00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:43,743 the Hot 'n' Heavy Fudge Fandango. 150 00:09:43,803 --> 00:09:47,580 - Good choice, Emily. - Thanks, Dave. 151 00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:51,520 - And Ellen? -just coffee, please. 152 00:09:51,577 --> 00:09:53,523 Coffee? 153 00:09:53,579 --> 00:09:57,686 Ooh, you let me down. I had you pegged for a Happy Hazelnut Hoo-ha. 154 00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:01,527 Well, it just shows how wrong you can be. 155 00:10:01,587 --> 00:10:05,899 - Howard, how 'bout you? - Oh, I'll have the, uh, Banana Fanna Foo Fanna. 156 00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:08,837 Banana Fanna Foo Fanna. Fudge or fruit filling? 157 00:10:08,895 --> 00:10:10,841 - Fruit. - Fine. 158 00:10:10,897 --> 00:10:13,207 Well, Bob, bring it on home. 159 00:10:14,801 --> 00:10:17,475 Uh, I'm kinda torn between the... 160 00:10:17,537 --> 00:10:21,178 Piggly Wiggly Giggly Glop and the... 161 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,516 Great White Whale. 162 00:10:23,576 --> 00:10:27,786 That's a tough decision, Bob, but, uh, tell me. Can you resist... 163 00:10:27,847 --> 00:10:32,262 vanilla ice cream swimming in a sea of marshmallow sauce and coconut? 164 00:10:32,318 --> 00:10:35,925 Well, I'm- I'm not made of stone. 165 00:10:35,988 --> 00:10:38,798 - Take the Whale. - [ No Audible Dialogue] 166 00:10:38,858 --> 00:10:43,932 - [ Ringing] - Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, your attention, please. 167 00:10:43,996 --> 00:10:48,308 The gentleman at this table is gonna try to conquer the Great White Whale. 168 00:10:48,368 --> 00:10:51,781 [ Both, Chanting] JYOu can't do it, You can't do it ♪ 169 00:10:51,838 --> 00:10:54,341 JYOu can't eat a whale ♪♪ 170 00:10:58,478 --> 00:11:01,357 Well, Bob? 171 00:11:01,414 --> 00:11:04,554 I'll, uh- I'll just have one, uh- one scoop of the chocolate. 172 00:11:04,617 --> 00:11:06,563 Okay, Bob. 173 00:11:08,254 --> 00:11:10,757 Well, isn't this a fun place? 174 00:11:10,823 --> 00:11:14,134 How come she didn't order ice cream like the rest of us? 175 00:11:14,193 --> 00:11:16,673 Well, Howie, some people just don't like ice cream. 176 00:11:16,729 --> 00:11:20,074 And some people break out. 177 00:11:20,133 --> 00:11:22,409 - You're losing him. - What? 178 00:11:22,468 --> 00:11:25,847 - You're losing him. Say something he would like. - Well, what would he like? 179 00:11:25,905 --> 00:11:30,047 Well, he'd like to be wanted. Give the kid a break. His parents are divorced. 180 00:11:30,109 --> 00:11:33,921 Oh. Um, gee, Howie, you sure are a big boy. 181 00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:36,483 - I'm the shortest kid in class. - [ Laughing]Well... 182 00:11:36,549 --> 00:11:39,029 you must have a very tall class. 183 00:11:39,085 --> 00:11:41,087 [Stops Laughing] 184 00:11:42,688 --> 00:11:46,864 - You're dying. - Uh, Howie, how old are you? 185 00:11:46,926 --> 00:11:51,136 - How old are you? - Uh, Howie, some grown-ups don't like to tell their ages. 186 00:11:51,197 --> 00:11:53,108 Oh, that's okay. I'm 33. 187 00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:55,305 My mom's only 31. 188 00:11:57,537 --> 00:12:01,986 Well, I, uh- I think this would be a- be a good time to make, um, a little announcement. 189 00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:04,885 No. No. No, it wouldn't. 190 00:12:04,944 --> 00:12:07,049 Yes, it would. I mean, my friends are all here... 191 00:12:07,113 --> 00:12:10,788 and, uh, my son's here- and we're all having a good time and- 192 00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:16,163 Anyway, you know, Howie, I told you that I liked Ellen?Well, um, I like hera lot... 193 00:12:16,222 --> 00:12:19,635 and, uh, with your permission, we're going to get, uh, married in the near future. 194 00:12:21,928 --> 00:12:23,930 Well, here ya are, folks. 195 00:12:25,898 --> 00:12:29,038 Oh, no. I just ordered coffee. Someone must have made a mistake. 196 00:12:29,101 --> 00:12:32,480 Yeah, I think my dad did. 197 00:12:32,538 --> 00:12:34,540 [Chanting] ♪ Single scooper, single scooper; 198 00:12:34,607 --> 00:12:36,712 JThiS man is a party pooperg“; 199 00:12:43,749 --> 00:12:46,491 Howie hates me. That's all there is to it. 200 00:12:46,552 --> 00:12:48,498 Should have ordered some ice cream. 201 00:12:49,789 --> 00:12:51,791 Look, he doesn't hate you. It's a normal reaction... 202 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:55,431 when someone new is introduced into a child's life, to react the way Howie did tonight. 203 00:12:55,495 --> 00:12:58,908 - You shouldn't have worn that brown outfit. - [ Ellen Sighs] 204 00:12:58,965 --> 00:13:03,277 Remember when we were kids, and one summer Mom took in that- that foster child? 205 00:13:03,336 --> 00:13:06,215 Larry Foster? Yeah. We- 206 00:13:07,273 --> 00:13:09,219 We hated him. 207 00:13:09,275 --> 00:13:13,348 Yeah, but that was because, uh, Dad felt sorry for him and-and gave him all his attention. 208 00:13:13,412 --> 00:13:18,293 I mean, he- he played baseball all clay with him with my bat and my ball and my glove. 209 00:13:18,351 --> 00:13:21,093 I mean, Dad even taught him how to hit curve balls. 210 00:13:21,153 --> 00:13:25,727 - And I was, uh-l was jealous. I-you know, I still am. - What's the point, Bob? 211 00:13:27,393 --> 00:13:29,395 I don't know- 212 00:13:30,630 --> 00:13:33,577 just been thinking about it lately. 213 00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:38,147 Well, that's not gonna help me with Howie. 214 00:13:38,204 --> 00:13:41,048 You should've brought him a toy. 215 00:13:41,107 --> 00:13:45,078 Look. Uh, I-I think you're gonna have to give this more of a chance. 216 00:13:45,144 --> 00:13:47,852 You're- You're gonna have to spend some more time with Howie alone... 217 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:50,224 without Howard breathing down your neck. 218 00:13:50,283 --> 00:13:52,229 Just take him somewhere. 219 00:13:52,285 --> 00:13:56,665 - He won't go anywhere with me. - Take him to the aquarium. He'll go there with anybody. 220 00:13:56,722 --> 00:13:59,601 - No, he won't. I already asked him. - Take him somewhere else. 221 00:13:59,659 --> 00:14:01,798 Well, okay. I'll think of something. 222 00:14:01,861 --> 00:14:04,740 Maybe if I keep him busy enough, he'll forget he hates me. 223 00:14:04,797 --> 00:14:09,769 Well, I finally got Howie to bed. Wasn't easy. I had to bribe him. 224 00:14:09,835 --> 00:14:12,907 He said he'd only go to sleep ifl'd take him to the aquarium tomorrow. 225 00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:16,986 - The aquarium? - Yeah. He loves fish. 226 00:14:17,043 --> 00:14:19,683 - He hates me. - No, he doesn't. 227 00:14:19,745 --> 00:14:22,021 Yes, he does. 228 00:14:26,886 --> 00:14:30,925 - HLJer. - Oh, uh, Carol, what, uh, time is it? 229 00:14:30,990 --> 00:14:34,062 Oh, my gosh, I didn't realize I took so long for lunch. 230 00:14:34,126 --> 00:14:36,538 - It's 4:30. - No, it isn't. It's 2O after 1 :00. 231 00:14:36,596 --> 00:14:39,304 - Well, then your clock is upside down. - No, it isn't. 232 00:14:39,365 --> 00:14:43,973 Youjust have to know how to read it. This is an original Klaus Protzman. 233 00:14:44,036 --> 00:14:47,347 Protzman's the guy who designed the combination bed-desk-stove. 234 00:14:49,275 --> 00:14:51,687 - Hi, Carol. HLJer. - Hey, Emily. Howie. 235 00:14:51,744 --> 00:14:55,021 - How are ya? - Oh, Howie, no wonder we're so hungry. it's 4:30. 236 00:14:55,081 --> 00:14:57,721 Maybe it's upside down. 237 00:15:00,953 --> 00:15:04,025 - So what have you two been up to? - We went to a lot of neat places. 238 00:15:04,090 --> 00:15:07,367 Yeah. We went to the aquarium, and then we went to watch them lube the car... 239 00:15:07,426 --> 00:15:10,999 and finally we went to the cleaners to watch them press Bob's slacks. 240 00:15:11,063 --> 00:15:12,906 Very smart. Save the best for last. 241 00:15:12,965 --> 00:15:18,039 Michelle, I'm sorry that the- the puppet wasn't able to- to talk to your father. 242 00:15:18,104 --> 00:15:21,244 Yeah. She made a fool of herself. Shejust kept stammering. 243 00:15:21,307 --> 00:15:25,653 - You, uh- You're sure you don't want to try it again. - Nah. It won't work. 244 00:15:25,711 --> 00:15:28,487 You have anything in a boxing glove? 245 00:15:30,082 --> 00:15:32,961 Well, you two must have had a good time at the aquarium. It's 4:30. 246 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,295 Uh, that's Protzman time. 247 00:15:35,354 --> 00:15:38,733 - Uh, Bob, could I talk to you in your office for a minute? -Yeah, sure. 248 00:15:38,791 --> 00:15:42,000 - Uh, Carol, would you watch Howie? - Of course. 249 00:15:42,061 --> 00:15:44,667 My goodness, Howie and I are old friends, aren't we, Howie? 250 00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:48,507 Yeah. I saw a goldfish at the aquarium that looked like you. 251 00:15:50,569 --> 00:15:54,381 Ah, and yet friends come and they go. 252 00:15:55,775 --> 00:15:57,721 So what's, uh- what's on your mind? 253 00:15:57,777 --> 00:16:01,247 Well, it's Howie and Ellen. I mean, hejust won't tell me why he doesn't like her, Bob... 254 00:16:01,313 --> 00:16:04,089 and I- I really wish you'd talk to him. 255 00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:07,654 Well, I'm not a child psychologist. 256 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,701 Well, then who might that be? [Chuckles] 257 00:16:11,924 --> 00:16:14,803 I'll, uh- I'll give it a try. Bring him in. 258 00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:17,067 Oh, thank you, dear. Thanks. 259 00:16:17,129 --> 00:16:19,769 Uh, Howie, would you come in here a minute? 260 00:16:19,832 --> 00:16:22,972 Uh, would you stay with Uncle Bob, because I have to go somewhere? 261 00:16:23,035 --> 00:16:26,039 Yeah, but you promised to take me everywhere you went. 262 00:16:26,105 --> 00:16:28,984 Everywhere but where I have to go at this very minute. 263 00:16:40,419 --> 00:16:43,332 - Well, how, uh- how's your day been? - It's good. 264 00:16:45,157 --> 00:16:48,331 - So how- how do you feel about that? - Good. 265 00:16:50,129 --> 00:16:53,576 - It's, uh, good to feel good, isn't it? - It's okay. 266 00:16:53,632 --> 00:16:55,976 Uh, Howie, I- I get the feeling that, uh- 267 00:16:56,035 --> 00:16:59,312 that you don't like Aunt Ellen. 268 00:16:59,371 --> 00:17:01,783 - Uh, how come? - 'Cause. 269 00:17:03,476 --> 00:17:05,956 - 'Cause why? -just 'cause. 270 00:17:07,146 --> 00:17:09,319 You know, uh, Howie, I- I have an idea. 271 00:17:09,381 --> 00:17:12,123 - Let's, uh- Let's play a game, okay? - Sure. 272 00:17:12,184 --> 00:17:15,927 Yeah, now this is, uh- this is my puppet. 273 00:17:17,356 --> 00:17:20,132 Uh- [ In Squeaky Voice] Hi. 274 00:17:20,192 --> 00:17:21,933 Hi. 275 00:17:21,994 --> 00:17:27,501 Uh, my name is Aunt Ellen. You, uh- You wanna talk to me? 276 00:17:27,566 --> 00:17:29,512 I saw your lips move. 277 00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:34,844 [In Normal Voice] Don't watch my lips. Watch the dummy's lips. 278 00:17:38,911 --> 00:17:42,358 [ In Squeaky Voice] Why, uh- Why don't you like me? 279 00:17:42,414 --> 00:17:44,826 'Cause I don't want you to marry my dad. 280 00:17:45,885 --> 00:17:48,297 Yeah, but I'm, uh- I'm a nice lady... 281 00:17:48,354 --> 00:17:50,664 and I- I love your dad. 282 00:17:50,723 --> 00:17:53,226 I want him to marry someone else. 283 00:17:53,292 --> 00:17:55,203 Who? 284 00:17:55,261 --> 00:17:57,707 Aunt Emily. 285 00:17:59,298 --> 00:18:02,074 But, uh, Aunt- Aunt Emily's already married. 286 00:18:02,134 --> 00:18:04,978 - [ Knocking On Door] - [Still In SqueakyVoice] Come in. 287 00:18:06,806 --> 00:18:10,253 - What'd you say? - [ In Normal Voice] I said, come in. 288 00:18:10,309 --> 00:18:14,223 Uh, listen. I have to run downstairs for a few minutes. Is that all right? 289 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,920 - It's all right. - [ In Gruff Voice] S'awright. 290 00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:23,258 You know, Howie, I-it's good that you like Aunt Emily... 291 00:18:23,322 --> 00:18:28,704 but, uh, see, I met Aunt Emily before your- your dad did, and sol married her... 292 00:18:28,761 --> 00:18:33,039 and now- now your dad wants to marry Aunt Ellen, my sister... 293 00:18:33,098 --> 00:18:35,704 and then your dad'll be, uh, my brother-in-law... 294 00:18:35,768 --> 00:18:40,547 and, uh, Aunt Emily and I will beyour, uh- 295 00:18:43,475 --> 00:18:45,887 your aunt and- and your uncle. 296 00:18:45,945 --> 00:18:48,425 Gee, that's confusing. 297 00:18:49,949 --> 00:18:52,589 Yeah. It is, isn't it? 298 00:18:52,651 --> 00:18:56,064 I don't wanna talk about it anymore. 299 00:18:56,121 --> 00:19:00,501 Well, if, uh- if you do wanna talk about it or, uh- or anything else... 300 00:19:00,559 --> 00:19:03,199 you know, I mean, that's- that's why I'm here. 301 00:19:03,262 --> 00:19:06,709 Well, I am havin' problems with my Little League manager. 302 00:19:06,765 --> 00:19:10,212 - Oh. - He never lets me play. 303 00:19:10,269 --> 00:19:12,806 Well, go- go with that, Howie. 304 00:19:12,872 --> 00:19:16,479 Well, it's really crummy. I just sit on the bench... 305 00:19:16,542 --> 00:19:18,818 just because I can't hit a curve ball. 306 00:19:20,379 --> 00:19:23,326 Boy, I can-l can sure relate to that. 307 00:19:24,483 --> 00:19:26,793 You know, I, uh- I had the same problem... 308 00:19:26,852 --> 00:19:30,629 all because of a kid named Larry Foster. 309 00:19:30,689 --> 00:19:33,033 You don't know him, but... 310 00:19:36,128 --> 00:19:41,134 my dad- my dad used to throw him curve balls all day, you know, and Vdjust... 311 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,737 shag flies. 312 00:19:45,638 --> 00:19:50,451 You know, if I had ever learned to hit a curve ball, I mean... 313 00:19:50,509 --> 00:19:53,820 no tellin' how farl could've gone, you know? 314 00:20:00,319 --> 00:20:02,595 Well, you're missin' a great meal, Emily. 315 00:20:02,655 --> 00:20:05,795 Caesar salad, spaghetti, garlic bread- all your favorites. 316 00:20:05,858 --> 00:20:08,702 - Those are your favorites. - Oh, yeah. 317 00:20:09,762 --> 00:20:12,106 Well, I knew somebody liked it. 318 00:20:12,164 --> 00:20:14,667 Oh, Bob, I just don't feel like eating. 319 00:20:14,733 --> 00:20:19,842 I feel so guilty about the way Howie feels about me. I wish there was some way to solve it. 320 00:20:19,905 --> 00:20:22,476 Well, there is a way, but I'm, uh- I'm not gonna give you up. 321 00:20:22,541 --> 00:20:27,354 Oh, honey, be serious. I mean, I- I just don't understand why Howie won't give Ellen a chance. 322 00:20:27,413 --> 00:20:31,759 - She has been so nice to him. - A lot nicer than she ever was to me... 323 00:20:31,817 --> 00:20:34,559 except when she, uh, opened that antique shop six years ago... 324 00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:36,566 and, uh, needed a thousand-dollar loan. 325 00:20:36,622 --> 00:20:40,195 - I thought she paid you that back. - She wasn't that nice. 326 00:20:40,259 --> 00:20:43,069 Okay. That's it. I've had it. 327 00:20:43,128 --> 00:20:45,369 - What's the matter? - 0h, even/thing 328 00:20:45,431 --> 00:20:49,470 - Howie won't even eat the dinner I fixed for him. - Maybe he's not hungry. 329 00:20:49,535 --> 00:20:54,917 - Yeah, and that's my fault too. - Oh, Ellen,just relax. None of this is your fault. 330 00:20:54,974 --> 00:20:57,079 Well, you really did it this time. 331 00:20:57,142 --> 00:21:00,988 Howard, what did I do? I gave him franks and beans and chocolate cake. 332 00:21:01,046 --> 00:21:03,720 What kind of meal is that for a kid? 333 00:21:03,782 --> 00:21:06,592 - That's what you said he liked. - I said he liked the way Emily made it. 334 00:21:06,652 --> 00:21:09,223 Oh, Howard, you shouldn't have said that. 335 00:21:09,288 --> 00:21:13,430 Oh, yes, he should. He's been saying dumb stuff like that all week. 336 00:21:13,492 --> 00:21:16,405 Do we have any Parmesan cheese? 337 00:21:16,462 --> 00:21:20,274 And you. You're a lot of help- sitting there stuffing your face at a time like this. 338 00:21:20,332 --> 00:21:23,575 Just because Howie won't eat, that doesn't mean I have to starve. 339 00:21:23,635 --> 00:21:26,411 - You're really something. - What are you getting mad at me for? 340 00:21:26,472 --> 00:21:29,976 Because you're acting like this isn't very important. 341 00:21:30,042 --> 00:21:32,522 Well, I have some opinions, and I'll be glad to give them to you... 342 00:21:32,578 --> 00:21:34,854 as soon as you and Howard quit acting like a couple of kids. 343 00:21:34,913 --> 00:21:37,257 Oh, bull- Oops. 344 00:21:39,284 --> 00:21:42,163 You owe me a thousand dollars. 345 00:21:44,456 --> 00:21:46,936 - What? - I lent it to you six years ago. 346 00:21:46,992 --> 00:21:52,567 Bob, that was really, really a low blow, I mean, bringing that up at a time like this. 347 00:21:52,631 --> 00:21:55,874 - And you owe me 20. - Oh, yeah. Don't- Don't let me forget that. 348 00:21:57,369 --> 00:21:59,781 Hey, it's the stupidest argument I have ever heard. 349 00:21:59,838 --> 00:22:02,978 That's easy for you to say. You're the one who made Howie fall in love with you. 350 00:22:03,042 --> 00:22:06,455 Hey, now wait. Now don't get mad at me just 'cause he didn't like your franks and beans. 351 00:22:06,512 --> 00:22:09,550 That's right, Ellen. You see this? I mean, this is what kids like. 352 00:22:09,615 --> 00:22:12,824 Howard, don't throw that in my face. 353 00:22:12,885 --> 00:22:15,832 Then again, maybe I would be more comfortable on the sofa. 354 00:22:18,457 --> 00:22:21,404 Hey, can I have a- can I have a sip of that wine? 355 00:22:21,460 --> 00:22:24,464 It's red wine, Howard. I'm not sure it goes with tantrums. 356 00:22:24,530 --> 00:22:26,476 Howie, what are you doing here? 357 00:22:26,532 --> 00:22:28,671 - I was hungry. - That makes two of us. 358 00:22:28,734 --> 00:22:31,943 - Oh, you want some spaghetti? - Have any franks and beans? 359 00:22:33,105 --> 00:22:36,780 Howie, you have franks and beans over there. 360 00:22:36,842 --> 00:22:39,345 Yeah, but they're all cold now. 361 00:22:39,411 --> 00:22:43,086 - Well, make him some more. This is your chance. - No. 362 00:22:43,148 --> 00:22:45,389 Sit down, Howie. 363 00:22:45,451 --> 00:22:50,332 Now, I'll warm up the cold ones for you, and if you don't eat them, that's tough. 364 00:22:50,389 --> 00:22:52,767 That's it. That's it. I mean,you blew it. 365 00:22:52,825 --> 00:22:56,466 I mean, first it was the- it was the brown outfit, then the ice cream and now this. 366 00:22:56,528 --> 00:22:59,941 Howard, let me give you that advice now. 367 00:22:59,998 --> 00:23:01,944 Shut up. 368 00:23:06,505 --> 00:23:09,145 Thanks, Bob. Okay, Howie, now that's the deal. 369 00:23:09,208 --> 00:23:11,381 - Take it or leave it. - I'll take it. 370 00:23:11,443 --> 00:23:15,414 Fine. And then when you finish eating you're gonna brush your teeth and go to bed... 371 00:23:15,481 --> 00:23:19,623 because tomorrow you and I are going to the aquarium-just the two of us. 372 00:23:19,685 --> 00:23:22,928 - We are? - Yes, we are. 373 00:23:24,356 --> 00:23:28,395 - Then can we go to the zoo? - We'll see. Come on. Let's eat. 374 00:23:29,995 --> 00:23:32,874 - I bet you can hit a curve ball. - Well, anybody can. 375 00:23:32,931 --> 00:23:37,744 All you gotta do is close up your stance and then hang in there a little bit. 376 00:23:39,738 --> 00:23:45,484 Look. I'm, uh, sorry the way Ellen acted. She gets irrational at times. 377 00:23:45,544 --> 00:23:48,991 Well, I, uh- I love the way you stood by her, Howard. 378 00:23:50,616 --> 00:23:53,597 Yeah. Oh, and I'm gonna payyou back that, uh- that $20 I owe you. 379 00:23:53,652 --> 00:23:56,030 - Yeah. I'm counting on it. - Oh, and about that thousand dollars... 380 00:23:56,088 --> 00:23:58,432 that, uh- that, uh, Ellen owes you- 381 00:23:58,490 --> 00:24:02,495 - Oh, Howard, don't worry about it. - What- What about the thousand? 382 00:24:02,561 --> 00:24:05,599 Well, ifshe hasn't paid you back by the time we've married, um... 383 00:24:05,664 --> 00:24:08,201 that's your wedding present to us. 384 00:24:17,042 --> 00:24:19,044 - Hey,jer. - Hey, Carol. How does it look? 385 00:24:19,111 --> 00:24:21,682 [Gasps] Unbelievable. What time is it? 386 00:24:21,747 --> 00:24:25,024 No, no. It's a barometer. 387 00:24:25,083 --> 00:24:27,689 So let's, uh- Let's check it out, huh? Ask me what the weather's like. 388 00:24:27,753 --> 00:24:30,632 - What's the weather likejerry? - The weather? Holy cow! 389 00:24:30,689 --> 00:24:33,533 Let's check our Klaus Protzman barometer and see. 390 00:24:33,592 --> 00:24:36,801 Klaus Protzman- that little devil's back on the street inventing again? 391 00:24:36,862 --> 00:24:42,073 Okay. It's, uh, sunny and dry. The pressure's holding at 30.02 and steady. 392 00:24:42,134 --> 00:24:44,637 Looks like a good day for sailing, strolling and shopping. 393 00:24:44,703 --> 00:24:48,947 Ah, the three “S's? [ Laughs] 394 00:25:33,085 --> 00:25:35,031 [ Mews] 35304

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