Original subtitles

Well, unfortunately, our time is up.

Already? I didn't even get a chance to talk.

I'm sorry, but I thought it was important...

that we talk about Mr. Peterson's complexion.

I think we've all convinced him that, uh...

blemishes can occur after- after 50.

That's right, especially during the times of extreme stress.

- Like last Thursday- - We already know about that, Peterson.

You couldn't find your library card, so your face broke out.

Well, I'm, uh- I'm afraid our time is- is really up.

Boy, that's not fair. I've had some problems this week.

So what? You'll have the same problems next week.

That's right, dear. You should give those problems a chance to fester.

Well, let Michelle go first next week.

Oh, that's another problem. I'm gonna have to cancel next week's session.

L- I have to appear on a panel at my wife's school.

- On our time? - Seems like we're gettin' the short end of the stick.

Well, uh, therapy isn't exactly a stick, Michelle.

Uh, if you want to think of it as one...

I try to give all of my patients the- the same end of it.

However, I do have another group outside...

so I'd like to pass the stick on to them.

But in the meantime, our problems aren't going away.

- Try milder soap. - Nowjust a minute!

Uh, please- Please, fellas. We don't have time for that.

Um, maybe we're ready for another, uh- another marathon.

A marathon! That's a wonderful idea.

We can rent a cabin in the woods like we did last time.

- What are you people talkin' about? - That's right, Mr. Gianelli.

- You've never been on a group marathon. - I'll bite. What is it?

We get away from the city for a weekend, and we try to get in touch with our true feelings.

Yeah, and with nature. Last year, Elliot got undressed, stood on a rock and screamed.

- Carlin did that? - That's right.

- Pass. I ain't goin'. - Good idea. I think we should go.

Let's call and make the reservation.

Well, un-unfortunately, we can't go back to the- the same place.

You can go. I was the only one fingerprinted.

Why don't we find a new place where- where we all can go?

- Yeah. Let's go next weekend. - Fine with me.

- Me too. - Fine. I'll be in touch with you.

Really, I have to get ready for my next group.

- Aren't you coming, Elliot? - No. I'm in the next group too.

Oh.

Oh. O-Oh. l-l'm sorry. I thought, uh-

That's all right, Mr. Herd. They're leaving.

- How ya doin', Herd? - Hi, Mr. Carlin. Th-Th-This is your other group, huh?

Yeah. Say hi to Herd, everybody. He's sensitive 'cause he's fat.

We're going on a marathon. Would you like to go with us?

Now, I'm not sure it's a good idea that-

that both groups go at the same time.

Gee, I don't see what's wrong with all of us going.

Sure. Sure, the more the merrier.

Doesn't make any difference to me. I get to go either way.

I don't even know what a marathon is.

Carlin stands around naked and screams at rocks.

- What's goin' on here? - Shirley, we're running a little late.

- They wanna take us to a marathon. - Waita minute.

- That's great. I love marathons. - Well, I don't.

I'm too old to put a number on my back and dance till I drop!

No, no, no. We're all going up to the woods...

to talk about our problems for two days.

- And I get to talk first. - Two days in the woods. What kind of clothes do you take?

You're askin' the wrong guy.

Isn't this wonderful? A minute ago, we were all strangers.

And now we're gonna live together.

I have the feeling we're rushing into this, and-

- Who- Who brings the food? - Everybody brings their own.

No, no. Let's each bring something, and we'll share it.

- I'm allergic to shrimp. - Let's do it the easy way and all bring deli stuff.

- Do you mind if I say- - Somebodyll bring bread.

Somebody'll bring mustard. Somebody'll bring pickles.

Whoever brings the pickles- Could they make it the sweet gherkins, not the dill spears?

- Could you wait a second? - And I'll bring the beverages.

- I could bring a basketball in case we wanna work up a sweat. - Why are we down to specifics?

- How are we gonna get there? - I guess we could fit in my camper.

- I thought you weren't going. - I'm not gonna have you talkin' behind my back.

- Who'll bring the napkins? - I will. I got a lot of paper napkins-

Stop!

Thank you. I- I just think it's a mistake...

to- to plunge ahead with this thing without discussing it.

There are some very good reasons we shouldn't go.

Like, uh, one of the groups has been with me longer than the other...

and- and we're at different levels of communication.

- That's a good point. - And secondly, with this many people on a marathon...

I don't know if we'd get in as much discussion as we might like.

- Yeah. It might get real crowded. - Anything else?

Well, those are two pretty good reasons.

I just thought they oughta be considered.

What, uh- What do you think?

- Let's go. - Definitely. - I think we should go.

- Me too. - [All Chattering]

Then there are some other reasons that aren't as good.

That's- That's right. There'll be a total ofl O of us.

Uh, two cabins- one for the ladies and one for the men.

And a place where all I O of us can get together.

Well, I don't care what that sounds like to you.

Group- Groups do it all the time.

But not at your place.

[ Exhales] Well, that takes care of Wigwam City.

There's only one place that'll take us-

Ken and Mitzi's of the Woods.

- I hope they call back. - I'm sure they will, honey.

And when they do, why don't you make the reservation for 11 instead ofl O?

- Oh? - I thought it would be kind of fun if I went too.

Emily, it'd be kind of fun if we could be together...

but I'm gonna kind of have my hands full, you know?

A lion tamer doesn't take his family into the cage with him.

I'll try and stay out of the cage.

I'll go for walks in the woods, breathe the fresh air.

Maybe I'll even do a little shopping.

For what? Twigs?

Bob, I thought it would be nice if I got a chance to go away too.

[Yawns] It's gettin' kind of late.

- I'll get ready for bed. - Bob, you'rejust trying to change the subject.

- You go on talking. - To who?

- [Knocking] - Oh.

- Oh, hi, Ellen. Hi, Howard. - Hi, Emily.

- How are ya? - Fine.

- What's wrong with your hands? - Oh, nothing. I was just polishing the silver.

Ah. It's cold, huh?

Bob. It's your sister.

- Hi, Bob. - Hi, Bob.

Wejust thought we'd drop by before I take Ellen home.

Yeah. I'm just checking in.

You don't have to check in.

- Howard could've checked in after he dropped you off. - [ Scoffs]

Bob, I wish you wouldn't be so protective.

Emily, I'm not protective.

- I guess you don't have time for coffee. - How about a quick scotch?

Well, sure, if you... feel you need it.

Ellen, I just want you to know that I think it's perfectly all right...

for a woman in her early 30s to stay out past 10:00 at night.

I don't think he's worried about Ellen. I think he's worried about me.

- Why? - Well, we have a lot of wild parties next door, and, uh-

Well, uh, not wild parties. We have little parties-

airline stewardesses and, uh, pilots.

Small parties.

-I mean, it's very small. - I know what you mean, Howard.

Thank you. Isn't she terrific?

- Yeah, Howard, she is. - [ Phone Rings]

'Cause I certainly didn't know what you were talking about.

- [ Rings] - Hello?

Who? Yes. Yes, he's here. just a minute.

Bob, it's Ken and Mitzi's of the Woods.

The, uh- The light one is Ellen's.

Hello? Uh, Ken?

Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, Mitzi.

Yeah, well, listen, we'll take the place Friday.

I know we're lucky to get it. Where do I pick up the keys?

You'll slide 'em out when the money slides in.

That'll be perfect, Mitzi. Fine. Good-bye.

- What's that all about? - Bob's taking nine of his patients...

for a group marathon in the woods.

I think that sounds terrific.

- So do I, and I really want to go. - Why don't you?

Bob doesn't think it's a good idea.

Emily, it's a good idea. lt'sjust not a great idea.

I mean, we- we both have certain responsibilities.

Yeah, and mine are to stay here and water the plants and answer the phone.

I thinkyou should go with Bob. lfthe problem is just the phone and the plants...

I'll be happy to stay here this weekend and take care of it.

- You will? -You will?

- Well, sure. - You mean move in, I mean, all weekend?

Sure. Why not?

Oh. Well, that would, uh, solve any objection I might have.

- Forget it, Howard. - I wasn't thinking anything.

I mean, I'm not even going to be here.

- I'm flying to Saint Louis for the weekend. - Good.

Unless I- I'm really catching this cold...

I really think I'm catching. [Coughs]

[Coughing]

- [ Loud Chattering] - I'm sorryJerry. Could you repeat that?

- [ Chattering Continues] - Call who?

I am listening toyouJerry. I'm gonna write it down, but I can't hearyou!

Hey! I'm on the phone. [Snapping Fingers]

- Jerry? - What's goin' on out here?

Oh. I'm sorryJerry. I really am. People!

People! People!

[Chattering Stops]

Now, you havejust got to hold it down here forjust one moment, please!

This is a doctor's office...

and I was about to take a very important message from Dr. Robinson.

Here.

Now, what is it, Dr. Robinson?

Well, it's, uh-just, uh, I wanted you to make sure and reserve a-

a tennis court for me tomorrow at 12:30.

- Is that it? - [ Mouthing Words]

Ah.

Uh, well, listen.

Why don't you just, uh, you know, resume your, uh-

your mingling and your dribbling and-

- [ Chattering Resumes] - Anyway-

- [Chatter/mg Continues] - Hi. Hi, everybody.

Uh, you're- you're a little early.

We're sorry, Dr. Hartley, but they kicked us out of the coffee shop downstairs.

You can't stay down there for more than two hours without buying something.

- [ Elevator Bell Dings] - Hi, Carol.

- Hi, Emily. - Hi, everybody.

- Hi, Mrs. Hartley. - Hello, Mr. Peterson. Hi, dear.

Hi, honey. I thinkyou all know my wife, Emily.

- How do you do? - Hello.

I'm so glad you could come along, Mrs. Hartley, to even things up.

Now there'll be four girls and seven boys.

Well, I'm glad too, and I hope you don't mind.

I brought three angel food cakes.

- Do they have icing? - One of them does.

That's the one I'm gonna have.

Hey, Bob. Mr. Gianelli called.

He said he'll be out in front in 1 O minutes with his camper.

Oh, isn't he a nice man to do all the driving?

He said he'd wait exactly 3O seconds...

and whoever wasn't there- tough darts.

[Chattering]

- I'll take your bag, Mrs. Hartley. - I'll carryyour cakes.

Thank you, but I think we'll just put this in the car.

The car? Aren't you goin' with us in the camper?

Well, since Emily's going along with me...

I thought I'd take my car andjust, you know, sort of lead the way.

- Oh, well, I guess we can make it by ourselves. - Yeah, sure we can.

We'll bejust fine.

- Well, I'll be right back. I'll get my coat. - [E/e vator Bell Ding; ]

- Hi, everybody. - Where's your luggage, Carlin?

Right here. Bag of napkins- That's all I'm supposed to bring.

- What about clothes? - What about 'em?

- What's that? - My cat.

- I'm allergic to cats. - I thought you were allergic to shrimps.

That's right. Shrimps and cats.

Dr. Hartley.

How come she gets to bring a cat?

Nobody from our group brought any animals.

L-I don't know. See, I was in getting my coat.

I just wonder how long someone has to belong to a group...

before you're allowed preferential treatment.

Oh, yeah? Look who's getting preferential treatment.

Our group didn't go on a marathon till our second year.

I'm not riding down with that cat!

[Shirley] I'm not gonna ride down with that group.

- Come on, Dr. Hartley. Ride down with us. - No, no. Ride down with us.

- You go ahead. I'll meet you down there. - Right, Bob.

How come they get to call him “Bob“?

We'd better get down there before those elevator doors open.

Y'all have a nice time now, ya hear?

It just seems to me that one of the purposes of a marathon...

is to communicate, to interrelate.

And I think-l think we're all acting very childish... except for me.

I mean, we just got here, and already we're split into two different factions.

Three. I'm a man without a group.

Look, we can either talk or- or go to sleep and start fresh in the morning...

or we can just go home.

Or we canjust sit here until they pass out.

Hey, I think maybe we are being a little childish.

Now, that's good, Mr. Plager.

Yeah, maybe we are. We should be more open and less selfish.

We should share with one another.

-I agree. I absolutely agree. - Can I have a piece of that cake?

No, no. It's mine. No.

Whoever invited that group up here oughta have his head examined.

- You invited us. - Oh.

Well, I guess that's why I'm here.

Hey, look, this is getting us nowhere.

Gianelli 1 Wait a minute, Carlin. What do you think you're doin'?

- I'm gonna take my clothes off and go to bed. -just a minute, Mr. Carlin.

Why do we have to quarrel? I don't know about the rest of you...

but I'm not gonna waste two days up here being vexed and miffed.

Vexed and miffed?

[Shirley] I hate to admit it, but I think the little guy is right.

Let's start concentrating on why we're here. Right, Dr. Hartley?

- Dr. Hartley. - What?

Uh, right.

Isn't it awfully chilly for Mrs. Hartley to be dressed like that?

No, no. She's fine. Don't worry, Mrs. Havlicek.

Maybe she needs you. Shouldn't you see what she wants?

No, she doesn't need anything. We agreed to that.

Well, let's- let's start working.

- That is what- what we just decided, wasn't it? - That's right.

Well, I hope this means the bickering is finished.

Because I love being here.

I mean, the- the scent of the pines, the solitude.

And there's a lovely view of the lake from the roof of the outhouse.

I'm glad that you like it here, 'cause that's very important.

The girls' cabin is a little primitive.

So is the men's. I can't say I'm looking forward to sleeping on a straw mattress.

Hey, it doesn't matter, because we're all in the same boat.

Is your cabin as run down as ours, Dr. Hartley?

Well, I just, you know- I dropped my bags off, but it's-

- It's pretty run down. [Chuckles] - [ Laughing]

- Excuse me. - Oh, uh, hi, Mrs. Hartley.

Hello, Mr. Peterson. Bob, could I talk to you for a minute?

- Emily, what is it? - I'm really sorry to bother you, but it's freezing out there...

and I locked myself out of our suite.

- Suite? - Sure. Here you go.

I wouldn't have bothered you, except Ken and Mitzi were asleep.

- I'll talk to you later. - I left them a note.

They'll fix the color on our television set tomorrow.

Sorry to interrupt.

Well, where, uh- where were we?

- “We're all in the same boat.“ - No, we're not.

He's on the Queen Mary, and we're on the Poseidon.

That was the worst night's sleep I've had since Black Friday.

My neck is a little stiff.

You didn't have to stay with us. You could've gone back to your suite.

No, I-l enjoyed bunking with the guys.

Oh, uh, Mr. Peterson, I'm sorry that I ended up with all the covers.

That's okay. I'm used to it. My wife's a blanket hog too.

Doctor. Last night, I had a dream that a bear came into the cabin...

and hovered over my bed... and burped.

That was me.

[Sniffles] I wanted to find out what time it was...

and yourwatch had a luminous dial, and-

It was 4:06.

- Peterson, get a fire goin'. - Sure. I collect the wood, and you sit on your duff.

Okay, okay. Don't get vexed and miffed.

- I'll helpyou. - That's- That's good, fellas.

- You want me to make some oatmeal? - Sounds good.

[Knocking]

Hi. Can I come in?

Uh, sure, honey, We haven't started yet.

We, uh, didn't get too much accomplished last night, so we quit.

I tried to wait up for you, honey...

but our bed was so comfortable, I guess I just dropped off.

Try sleeping in a manger and see how fast you drop off.

Emily, I- I wish you wouldn't mention how comfortable the bed was.

- Why? - Because nine people in this room...

resent the fact that we even have a bed.

- Are you mad, Bob? - A little.

- Why? Because I was comfortable? - No. Because they knew you were comfortable...

and I had to spend the whole night explaining to 'em why.

Maybe I shouldn't have come up here in the first place.

I don't know why you feel that way.

I only mentioned it 15, 2O times.

Bob, you never told me not to come up here.

I said, “Do you really want to come up here?”

- You call that telling me? - It's my way of telling you.

The next time you don't want me to do something...

don't ask me,just tell me.

Do you really think there'll be a next time?

What are you trying to say?

- You figure it out. - Good morning, everyone. lsn 't it a wonderful morning?

- Let's just forget it. - No, Bob, I'm not gonna forget it.

Oh, there may be a cloud or two.

Emily, we'll talk about it later.

What is this? I'm restricted to quarters?

- Is that it? - Luxurious quarters. Yeah.

Do you mind if I get a little bread and water first?

To go.

Boy, it'; nippy. You can see your breath out there.

That's not all you can see.

Carlin's up on a rock.

Well, why don't we- Why don't we have some breakfast?

I thinkyou boys should know that Dr. and Mrs. Hartley...

are going at each othefsjugulars.

- Oh, really? - Is that right, Dr. Hartley?

- Nothing serious. - Yes, it is.

And it's our fault because we're all petty and jealous...

because Mrs. Hartley stayed in a nice room.

Suite.

Look, it's not your problem.

It's something that Emily and I are gonna have to work out later.

Why don't you work it out now?

- That's what we're here for- to work. - Oh, no.

I don't belong here. I know that because Bobjust said to me...

“Emily, do you really thinkyou belong here?“

That was a cheap shot, Mrs. Hartley.

Yeah, I guess it was.

Let's get this thing settled now, Mrs. Hartley.

I don't want your marriage hanging over my head all day.

Sit down, Mrs. Hartley.

Well, okay, I will.

Sit down, Dr. Hartley.

- You people are getting pretty good at this. - Okay, let's work.

What about Mr. Carlin? Shouldn't we wait for him?

Carlin 1 Yo-ho!

I- I don't think so.

Rooster Crows 1

I- I think it was during my senior year in college...

I was first able to develop a one-to-one relationship.

Ayear later, I was in the army-

I-I guess I mentioned my service record already.

Yes, you did, Bob.

I can really sympathize with the pressure you were under from your sergeant...

and your basketball coach and, uh- and your Boy Scout leader.

I mean, Bob, I really can understand that.

I understood it 12 hours ago when he first told you.

Well, I- I just had to get it off my chest.

I hope you can understand that I wanted to come up here to be with you...

and because my father used to take me on those hunting trips when I was a little girl.

I don't remember anything about hunting trips.

You were asleep during the fabulous '50s.

I guess-l guess we have kind of monopolized the conversation.

Well, that's all right.

The important thing is that you feel good about each other.

- Yes, we do. - We do.

The important thing to me is it's Sunday morning, and I gotta get back to the city.

I got a softball game.

What about me? I didn't even get a chance to talk.

- We'd better get the camper loaded. - Yeah. Let's go.

- I gotta get packed. - Yeah, me too.

Oh, I am already packed.

Maybe I have time for one last dash.

Well, we'd better go clear our things out of the, uh-

- Room. - Yeah.

I always wanted to be a teacher too...

just like Mrs. Hartley.

But my father never gave me any encouragement.

Every time I'd come home with straight A's on my card...

he'd say, “Is that the best you could do?“

So after a while...

I just got so discouraged I didn't even try anymore.

I mean, maybe I was wrong.

Maybe I should have come home with straight B's.

[ Emily, Loudly] Well, here we are- home.

[Bob] Vlljust turn the key in the lock, and we'll go in.

Are you sure you have the right key?

- Yeah I think so. - [Key Turning In Lock]

Here it is now.

Hello?

Hello?

Well, the plants have been watered.

Ellen must have stayed here.

There's no one here now.

Hi, Bob. Hi, Emily. Uh, you're home early.

How was the, uh- How was the marathon?

Fine. How was your, uh...

flight?

I didn't go on the flight. Ellen needed me.

For what?

Well, you know that cold I thought I was getting?

- You got it? - No, but Ellen did.

[Congested] Oh. Hi.

Ellen, is, uh-

ls what Howard's telling us true...

that you had the flu all weekend?

Oh, I've never felt worse in my life.

Me neither.

Good.

[ Mews]