All language subtitles for The Bob Newhart Show s02e22 - By the Way... Youre Fired

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,489 --> 00:00:06,164 - [ Rings] - Hello? 2 00:01:08,622 --> 00:01:11,432 [Typing] 3 00:01:11,491 --> 00:01:14,404 I know, Don. I didn't sleep a wink either. 4 00:01:14,461 --> 00:01:17,408 Seems like an eternity, doesn't it? 5 00:01:17,464 --> 00:01:19,410 What? 6 00:01:19,466 --> 00:01:21,844 An eon? 7 00:01:21,902 --> 00:01:25,008 Oh, Don, you're so deep. 8 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:28,483 Oh- Oh, why, Don, you devil. 9 00:01:28,542 --> 00:01:30,488 [Giggles] 10 00:01:30,544 --> 00:01:34,287 Oh! Oh, well, uh, I'd better be saying good-bye now. 11 00:01:35,849 --> 00:01:39,160 I can't say that on the phone, It would embarrass me. 12 00:01:39,219 --> 00:01:41,324 Uh- 13 00:01:41,388 --> 00:01:45,268 [Clears Throat] All right, um... ditto. 14 00:01:47,561 --> 00:01:49,507 Ditto. 15 00:01:49,563 --> 00:01:51,565 Oh, ditto, ditto. 16 00:01:52,566 --> 00:01:54,512 [ Kisses] 17 00:01:54,568 --> 00:01:56,809 - Well, hLJer. - Ditto. 18 00:01:57,971 --> 00:02:00,542 - Finished with the letteryet? - All done. 19 00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:05,347 “Dear Mrs. Willett, just a reminder... 20 00:02:05,412 --> 00:02:08,359 “it's been six months since Ricky's last appointment. 21 00:02:08,415 --> 00:02:12,955 I love you with all my heart and soul. Dnjerry Robinson.“ 22 00:02:13,019 --> 00:02:16,489 Sounds good to me, Carol. just mail it right out. 23 00:02:16,556 --> 00:02:19,503 I don't knowJer. I guess I had my mind on something else. 24 00:02:19,559 --> 00:02:23,006 - Oh, really? Gee, you'd never know it. - Oh! Are you being sarcastic? 25 00:02:23,063 --> 00:02:25,475 Me, sarcastic? No! 26 00:02:25,532 --> 00:02:28,172 - Is, uh, Bob in? -Yes, he's in. 27 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,476 - Good. - [ Elevator Bell Dings] 28 00:02:30,537 --> 00:02:32,483 Uh, now he's in. 29 00:02:32,539 --> 00:02:35,486 - Morning, Carol. HLJerry. - Bob, I have to talk to you. 30 00:02:35,542 --> 00:02:38,523 Fine. Oh, uh, Carol, do I have any messages? 31 00:02:38,578 --> 00:02:41,058 Uh, no. No. 32 00:02:41,114 --> 00:02:44,994 Uh, but, Bob, wait. Did you find that magazine that had Don's article in it? 33 00:02:45,051 --> 00:02:46,997 Yeah, yeah, finally. 34 00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:50,626 It's kinda hard to get your hands on a copy of Pharmaceuticals Illustrated. 35 00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:53,637 - Oh. - Well, the title was kinda provocative. 36 00:02:53,693 --> 00:02:58,836 You know- “Cough Syrups Versus Throat Lozenges: Take Your Choice.“ 37 00:02:58,899 --> 00:03:02,506 I- Listen, he only writes those articles for a living. 38 00:03:02,569 --> 00:03:05,812 He really wants to be a novelist. Did I tell you that? 39 00:03:05,872 --> 00:03:09,376 - Yeah, you told me that. - Come on, Bob. I really have to talk to you. 40 00:03:11,544 --> 00:03:13,490 Door's stuck. 41 00:03:13,546 --> 00:03:15,890 Jerry, I, uh, have an idea. 42 00:03:17,684 --> 00:03:19,686 [Phone Rings] 43 00:03:20,687 --> 00:03:22,792 Dr. Robinson's office. 44 00:03:22,856 --> 00:03:26,065 Oh,just a moment, please, It's for me. Do you mind? 45 00:03:26,126 --> 00:03:29,198 Mind? Me? No! Why should I mind? [ Laughs] 46 00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:36,713 Jerry, has my door done something to upset you? 47 00:03:36,770 --> 00:03:38,716 Oh, no. 48 00:03:38,772 --> 00:03:40,911 It's not your door, Bob. It's Carol. 49 00:03:40,974 --> 00:03:43,045 She's doing a terriblejob. 50 00:03:48,181 --> 00:03:50,127 Well, I wouldn't say it's terrible. 51 00:03:50,183 --> 00:03:52,789 I think she's been a little preoccupied. 52 00:03:52,852 --> 00:03:56,197 She's going through a period of, well, being in love. 53 00:03:56,256 --> 00:03:59,931 I know all about that, Bob. I know all about Don. 54 00:03:59,993 --> 00:04:04,442 I'm sick of hearing about Don. Did you know yesterday the cleaners lost his pants? 55 00:04:04,497 --> 00:04:08,343 They didn't lose his pants. The delivery truck had a flat tire. 56 00:04:08,401 --> 00:04:10,972 - He got 'em last night. - Oh. Good. 57 00:04:12,238 --> 00:04:14,514 She'll be all rightjerry. lust... 58 00:04:14,574 --> 00:04:17,054 give her a chance. 59 00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:19,750 Oh, Bob, I've given her a chance. 60 00:04:19,813 --> 00:04:21,759 I've given her lots of chances. 61 00:04:21,815 --> 00:04:25,627 I've tried to look the other way. Made up littlejokes about it. 62 00:04:25,685 --> 00:04:28,632 I've even dropped a few insignificant hints. 63 00:04:28,688 --> 00:04:30,690 Have you, uh- 64 00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:34,468 Have you tried telling henjerry? 65 00:04:34,527 --> 00:04:38,498 That's not my style, Bob. My style is being witty, clever, cute. 66 00:04:38,565 --> 00:04:41,068 Move that- 67 00:04:41,134 --> 00:04:43,080 You mean, like yesterday... 68 00:04:43,136 --> 00:04:46,083 when you told her you were gonna have the phone surgically removed from her ear? 69 00:04:46,139 --> 00:04:49,120 - [ Laughs ] Yeah. That was clever, wasn't it? - Perfect squelchjerry. 70 00:04:49,175 --> 00:04:51,121 Yeah. 71 00:04:51,177 --> 00:04:54,124 Well, Bob, I mean, doesn't it make you mad to know that she's out there... 72 00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:57,320 holding a love-in on your time, possibly ruining your business? 73 00:04:57,384 --> 00:05:00,331 Doesn't that rile you, Bob? Doesn't that stick in your craw? 74 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:03,266 Doesn't that make you wanna jump out there and tell her to shape up? 75 00:05:03,323 --> 00:05:04,666 No. 76 00:05:04,724 --> 00:05:07,000 Well, why not, Bob? 77 00:05:07,060 --> 00:05:09,370 Jerry, those are things that bug you. 78 00:05:09,429 --> 00:05:11,932 You should be honest with her. Tell her the way you feel. 79 00:05:11,998 --> 00:05:14,604 That's right, Bob. I'll do that. 80 00:05:16,269 --> 00:05:19,739 OhJerry, listen, I was wondering- Are you unhappy with my work? 81 00:05:19,806 --> 00:05:21,752 Me? No! Why should I be? 82 00:05:21,808 --> 00:05:23,446 I gotta rush. 83 00:05:28,515 --> 00:05:30,552 Hi, honey. I'm home. 84 00:05:30,617 --> 00:05:33,223 Hi, dear. Where's the cake? 85 00:05:33,286 --> 00:05:36,233 - Cake? What cake? - Howard's birthday cake for the party tonight. 86 00:05:36,289 --> 00:05:39,133 I called Carol. She said she'd give you the message. 87 00:05:39,192 --> 00:05:42,571 The only message I got was that her boyfriend Don had a pepper steak... 88 00:05:42,629 --> 00:05:45,075 and he had a sneezing attack. 89 00:05:45,131 --> 00:05:48,476 Yeah. She told me that. Did she also tell you he's having trouble with his feet? 90 00:05:48,535 --> 00:05:51,482 - No. - Yeah, he's got this funny thing with his arch- 91 00:05:51,538 --> 00:05:54,815 Emily, don't tell me. I wanna find out tonight when I meet him for the first time. 92 00:05:54,874 --> 00:05:58,651 Well, I guess I'd better go get the cake. What bakery is it at? 93 00:05:58,711 --> 00:06:01,658 - The one in your office building. - That's a little far. 94 00:06:01,714 --> 00:06:04,593 - I'll go to the corner and get onejust like it. - Good luck. 95 00:06:04,651 --> 00:06:08,599 It's shaped like a 747 and says, “I'm Howard. Fly me.“ 96 00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:12,936 - Hi, Carol. - Hi!We're here. 97 00:06:12,992 --> 00:06:14,835 “We're“? Where's Don? 98 00:06:14,894 --> 00:06:18,239 Jfl Humming “Hail to the Chief“ ] 99 00:06:18,298 --> 00:06:20,244 SEQ“; 100 00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,337 - This is Don. - Hi. 101 00:06:22,402 --> 00:06:25,178 H-Hi, Don. We've heard a lot about you. 102 00:06:25,238 --> 00:06:27,775 I've heard a lot about you too. 103 00:06:27,841 --> 00:06:32,187 Except I would have known you anywhere anyway. Happy birthday, Howard. 104 00:06:32,245 --> 00:06:34,657 [Carol] Oh, n- 105 00:06:34,714 --> 00:06:37,718 These are the Hartleys. Bob and Emily. 106 00:06:37,784 --> 00:06:41,254 Wow, this is a nice place you got here, Bob and Emily. 107 00:06:41,321 --> 00:06:43,267 Oh, thank you. 108 00:06:43,323 --> 00:06:45,269 Wow. Ooh. I see. 109 00:06:45,325 --> 00:06:47,271 It's not just an apartment. 110 00:06:47,327 --> 00:06:49,773 This is a home. 111 00:06:49,829 --> 00:06:52,776 A place where, at the end of a day... 112 00:06:52,832 --> 00:06:56,473 a man can slip into his smoking jacket and say... 113 00:06:56,536 --> 00:06:59,039 “This is what it's all for.“ 114 00:07:00,373 --> 00:07:02,319 This is a haven, a- 115 00:07:02,375 --> 00:07:04,719 a-a-a fortress. 116 00:07:04,777 --> 00:07:08,782 It's a shelter against the sea of life. 117 00:07:10,116 --> 00:07:12,118 How manyjohns you got? 118 00:07:14,621 --> 00:07:17,568 - Two. - Perfect. 119 00:07:17,624 --> 00:07:21,094 Uh, Don, why don't you sit down and, uh, rest your feet? 120 00:07:21,161 --> 00:07:24,074 - Yeah. Honey, why don't you make some drinks? - Sure. 121 00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:26,076 - Carol? - A glass of wine, Bob. 122 00:07:26,132 --> 00:07:29,079 - Fine. Red or white? - Well, whatever goes with potato chips. 123 00:07:29,135 --> 00:07:31,581 - That'd be red. - Oh! He knows everything. 124 00:07:31,638 --> 00:07:35,586 Oh, there's nothing like the delicate bouquet... 125 00:07:35,642 --> 00:07:38,088 of a scarlet wine... 126 00:07:38,144 --> 00:07:42,524 when it cloys impishly to the roof of your palate. 127 00:07:44,417 --> 00:07:46,363 What would you like, Don? 128 00:07:46,419 --> 00:07:48,126 I'll have a beer. 129 00:07:50,023 --> 00:07:53,664 - [ Doorbell Buzzes ] - Oh! That must be the birthday boy. 130 00:07:53,726 --> 00:07:55,603 Aren't we gonna hide? 131 00:07:55,662 --> 00:07:58,199 - It's not a surprise party. - Oh. 132 00:07:58,264 --> 00:08:01,438 - But you can hide if you want to. - [ Laughing] 133 00:08:01,501 --> 00:08:03,503 Doorbell Buzzes 1 134 00:08:04,837 --> 00:08:06,783 _ Hi' eve Wb ' Hi! Ody! 135 00:08:06,839 --> 00:08:09,786 Well, I'm a year older. Do I look any different? 136 00:08:09,842 --> 00:08:12,288 You don't look any different at all. Happy 40th. 137 00:08:12,345 --> 00:08:15,189 Sorry we're dressed this way, but we're flying out in a couple of hours. 138 00:08:15,248 --> 00:08:17,319 Carol, do you remember Mary Ellen? 139 00:08:17,383 --> 00:08:19,329 - Yes. Hi. - Hi, Carol. 140 00:08:19,385 --> 00:08:22,832 Howard, I'd like you and Mary Ellen to meet a very good friend of mine. 141 00:08:22,889 --> 00:08:26,063 - Don Livingston. - Hi, Don. How are you? 142 00:08:26,125 --> 00:08:29,732 Well, 4O years ago... 143 00:08:29,796 --> 00:08:34,836 they dragged you kicking and screaming into a world you didn't even make. 144 00:08:34,901 --> 00:08:37,939 And today you're soaring over it. 145 00:08:38,004 --> 00:08:39,950 Well, Godspeed, and... 146 00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:42,646 may the wind be at your tail. 147 00:08:44,711 --> 00:08:46,713 Wow. That was beautiful. 148 00:08:47,847 --> 00:08:50,987 Yeah. Yeah, that wasn't bad. 149 00:08:53,653 --> 00:08:55,428 Oh, hi, Howard. Hi, Mary Ellen. 150 00:08:55,488 --> 00:08:57,263 - Happy birthday, Howard. - Thank you 151 00:08:57,323 --> 00:08:59,803 Well, Howard, this is the big one, huh? 152 00:08:59,859 --> 00:09:01,600 - Yeah. - The old 4-0. 153 00:09:01,661 --> 00:09:04,198 Don't worry about it, Howard. We all have to face it someday. 154 00:09:04,264 --> 00:09:08,235 Howard, I don't thinkyou've aged a day in the five years that I know you. 155 00:09:08,301 --> 00:09:10,247 Yeah, but I'm, uh- 156 00:09:10,303 --> 00:09:13,307 I'm starting to slow down a little. 157 00:09:14,807 --> 00:09:17,481 Well, I'm not exactly slowing down. I'm- 158 00:09:18,878 --> 00:09:20,949 I'm sort ofin a holding pattern. 159 00:09:22,148 --> 00:09:24,094 Actually, I'm picking up steam. 160 00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:26,596 I never felt faster in my whole life. 161 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:29,896 Uh, Howard, Mary Ellen, would you like a drink? 162 00:09:29,956 --> 00:09:31,902 Yeah, I'd like a scotch and soda. 163 00:09:31,958 --> 00:09:35,405 Do you thinkyou should? We have to fly out of here in four hours. 164 00:09:35,461 --> 00:09:37,407 Oh, that's right. Nothing for me. 165 00:09:37,463 --> 00:09:40,410 I'll have a double gin on the rocks. 166 00:09:40,466 --> 00:09:43,037 Thought you said we're flying out in four hours. 167 00:09:43,102 --> 00:09:47,209 Well, I don't have to do anything except smile coast-to-coast. 168 00:09:48,107 --> 00:09:50,383 Okay, I know where it is. 169 00:09:50,443 --> 00:09:53,049 So, uh, how's- how's everything going, Don? 170 00:09:53,112 --> 00:09:56,059 Oh, Don, tell him what you told me yesterday. 171 00:09:56,115 --> 00:09:59,062 You mean about getting my hair caught in a door? 172 00:09:59,118 --> 00:10:02,725 No, what you said to me about listening to people. 173 00:10:02,789 --> 00:10:05,292 Oh! Uh, yeah. 174 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:11,508 “When you're an observer of the human condition... 175 00:10:11,564 --> 00:10:14,841 “you must listen with one ear to the voice... 176 00:10:14,901 --> 00:10:16,847 “one ear to the mind... 177 00:10:16,903 --> 00:10:19,907 and the other ear to the heart.“ 178 00:10:22,075 --> 00:10:24,487 That's, uh- That's a lot of ears. 179 00:10:24,544 --> 00:10:29,493 Oh! Now can't you see why I've got my head in the clouds at the office, Bob? 180 00:10:29,549 --> 00:10:31,426 - Now I know. - [Knocking] 181 00:10:31,484 --> 00:10:34,795 Come in. Oh, hLJer. How are you? 182 00:10:34,854 --> 00:10:37,300 - I've been stood up. - Oh, no. 183 00:10:37,357 --> 00:10:40,201 Yeah. I don't understand it. Gail's not the kind of person to do that to me. 184 00:10:40,259 --> 00:10:41,966 - Gail? - That's right. 185 00:10:42,028 --> 00:10:44,668 - Uh-oh. - “Uh-oh“ what? What “Uh-oh“? 186 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:49,874 Uh-oh, you're right. She's not the kind of person to stand you up. She left a message. 187 00:10:49,936 --> 00:10:52,883 - I never got a message. - Well, I-it's at the office... 188 00:10:52,939 --> 00:10:55,510 in my Bride magazine, keeping my place. 189 00:10:55,575 --> 00:10:57,452 - What? Jerry, I'm sorry. 190 00:10:57,510 --> 00:11:00,457 But I can remember it. I know I can. I'll paraphrase it. 191 00:11:00,513 --> 00:11:03,392 It said, urn, Don't pick me up at my apartment. 192 00:11:03,449 --> 00:11:06,453 I'll meet you at the aquarium. 193 00:11:06,519 --> 00:11:09,523 And don't be late, because the aquarium closes at 8:00. 194 00:11:10,590 --> 00:11:12,536 It's 9:30. 195 00:11:12,592 --> 00:11:15,038 That means Gail's been standing on the steps of the aquarium... 196 00:11:15,094 --> 00:11:17,540 a hundred feet from the lake, for an hour and a half... 197 00:11:17,597 --> 00:11:20,237 with that cold Lake Michigan wind whipping through her frail body? 198 00:11:20,299 --> 00:11:22,301 Oh, that's good stuff. 199 00:11:24,604 --> 00:11:26,743 Jeri')!- 200 00:11:26,806 --> 00:11:30,049 Well, I'm gonna see if I can catch up to Gail. Bob, Emily, I'll see you later. 201 00:11:30,109 --> 00:11:32,851 Happy birthday, Howard. Don, nice to have met you. 202 00:11:32,912 --> 00:11:36,018 Don't stand up. I know about your feet. Mary Ellen, nice to see you again. 203 00:11:36,082 --> 00:11:38,084 And, Carol, you're fired. 204 00:11:45,658 --> 00:11:49,071 Except for that part about being fired, he seemed like a nice guy. 205 00:11:54,066 --> 00:11:57,013 Carol, stop packing. You're not going anywhere. 206 00:11:57,069 --> 00:11:59,447 Ah! I've been fired. Remember? 207 00:11:59,505 --> 00:12:04,511 And I am merely packing up some of the lovely mementoes given to me by the doctors... 208 00:12:04,577 --> 00:12:07,786 during my long years of dedicated service. 209 00:12:07,847 --> 00:12:10,054 My pen and pencil set. 210 00:12:10,116 --> 00:12:12,528 Ah. Complementary nose drops. 211 00:12:12,585 --> 00:12:15,759 And this permanently engraved cup which reads... 212 00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,768 “Our Girl Forever.“ 213 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,770 - Ha! - [Cup Slams On Desk] 214 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:24,002 Now all I'm missing is my autographed whoopee cushion. 215 00:12:25,431 --> 00:12:27,638 - It's in the storage cabinet. - [E/e vator Bell Ding; ] 216 00:12:29,168 --> 00:12:31,705 Hi, Bob. Hi, Carol. 217 00:12:31,771 --> 00:12:33,717 Oh, there he is. Whoopee. 218 00:12:33,773 --> 00:12:36,777 - What are you doing? - I'm leaving. 219 00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:39,790 You didn't think I was serious last night, did you? 220 00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:43,293 - See, Carol? He wasn't serious. - I was, Bob, at the time. 221 00:12:43,349 --> 00:12:46,296 But later, at the aquarium, I was talking to the night watchman. 222 00:12:46,352 --> 00:12:50,698 You know what he said? “To err is human, to forgive divine, Mac.“ 223 00:12:50,756 --> 00:12:53,134 So... 224 00:12:53,192 --> 00:12:56,173 I thought about it, and I decided to do the divine thing. 225 00:12:56,229 --> 00:12:58,175 You can come back, Carol. 226 00:12:58,231 --> 00:13:00,177 Aw, j er. 227 00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:04,010 Is this the part where I fall to my knees and kiss your tunic? 228 00:13:04,070 --> 00:13:06,016 I tried. 229 00:13:06,072 --> 00:13:09,849 Jerry wants you to come back. We all want you to come back. You're not fired anymore. 230 00:13:09,909 --> 00:13:14,949 Bob, why should I come back to work at a place where one of the men I work for hates me? 231 00:13:16,082 --> 00:13:18,028 L- UhJerry, you, uh- 232 00:13:18,084 --> 00:13:20,030 -you don't hate her, do you? - No. 233 00:13:20,086 --> 00:13:23,033 - An-And you want her to come back, right? - Yeah. 234 00:13:23,089 --> 00:13:25,467 - And you're sorry that you fired her? - Right. 235 00:13:25,525 --> 00:13:28,665 Why do I get the feeling Bob's a ventriloquist? 236 00:13:28,728 --> 00:13:31,675 Look, Carol, what do you want me to do, beg you? 237 00:13:31,731 --> 00:13:34,211 That would be nice. 238 00:13:34,267 --> 00:13:36,873 All right, um, please come back. 239 00:13:36,936 --> 00:13:40,213 We, uh- We need you, and we- we want you. 240 00:13:40,273 --> 00:13:42,879 - And? - And, uh-[ Mutters] 241 00:13:42,942 --> 00:13:45,684 - What? - I'm sorry. 242 00:13:45,745 --> 00:13:49,022 - Now, will you come back? - Oh... 243 00:13:49,081 --> 00:13:51,186 well, okay, I'll come back. 244 00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:53,696 Good. But there are gonna have to be some changes around here. 245 00:13:53,753 --> 00:13:55,198 Oh,jerry. What changes? 246 00:13:55,254 --> 00:13:58,701 Well, we're gonna have to get some powdered milk for the coffee, for one thing. 247 00:13:58,758 --> 00:14:01,295 - That's no problem, is it, Carol? - No. 248 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,237 And you're gonna have to type up decent letters. 249 00:14:03,296 --> 00:14:05,742 - That is certainly reasonable, isn't it? - Reasonable. 250 00:14:05,798 --> 00:14:08,244 - And get my messages to me? - You can do that, right? 251 00:14:08,301 --> 00:14:12,249 - Indeed, yes. - Good. We're back to business as usual. 252 00:14:12,305 --> 00:14:15,514 Oh, terrific. I can't wait to call Don and give him the good news. 253 00:14:15,575 --> 00:14:18,522 Oh-oh-oh-oh! You see, that's, uh- that's the other thing. 254 00:14:18,578 --> 00:14:21,081 Personal calls? There won't be any. 255 00:14:21,147 --> 00:14:23,593 Not at any time, and not to anybody. 256 00:14:23,649 --> 00:14:26,596 Not incoming, outgoing, none of that stuff. 257 00:14:26,652 --> 00:14:29,861 Especially, and including, your boyfriend, Dr. Scholl. 258 00:14:33,392 --> 00:14:36,066 Just a minute, Dr. Robinson. 259 00:14:36,128 --> 00:14:39,439 Now, you cannot tell me not to have personal calls... 260 00:14:39,498 --> 00:14:42,445 because I am a person and I have a life. 261 00:14:42,501 --> 00:14:46,574 The only way to have that life is for you not to tell me how to live that life. 262 00:14:46,639 --> 00:14:50,883 - Youjust about finished? - No. I'll tell you the rest after I call Don. 263 00:14:50,943 --> 00:14:53,719 - Don't forget to tell Don that you've been fired again. - Again? 264 00:14:53,779 --> 00:14:56,259 - That's right! - Well, good! 265 00:14:56,315 --> 00:15:00,263 Now you canjust cough up another two weeks' severance pay! 266 00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:03,297 At least I'm already packed. 267 00:15:03,356 --> 00:15:06,200 Oh, uh, Carol, would you make an appointment at the barber for me? 268 00:15:06,258 --> 00:15:09,205 Bob, I can't make any calls for you... 269 00:15:09,261 --> 00:15:12,640 I can't make any calls forjerry, I can't make any calls for myself... 270 00:15:12,698 --> 00:15:14,803 because, well, I don't work here anymore. 271 00:15:14,867 --> 00:15:17,279 - [ Elevator Bell Dings] - I've been fired. 272 00:15:23,709 --> 00:15:26,383 All right. I could call myself. 273 00:15:33,219 --> 00:15:36,666 I hope you guys understand. I fired her, I hired her back, then I fired her again. 274 00:15:36,722 --> 00:15:40,670 I've lost all perspective, so whatever you guys decide, it's okay with me. 275 00:15:40,726 --> 00:15:43,730 The woman is a detriment. Let's dump her. 276 00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:46,776 Wait a minute, Phil. 277 00:15:46,832 --> 00:15:49,278 Carol has always been very nice to me... 278 00:15:49,335 --> 00:15:52,282 and she seemed to have a genuine interest in urology. 279 00:15:52,338 --> 00:15:54,579 In three years, she never dropped one specimen. 280 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:58,747 Well, I think we all like Carol. There's no argument about that. 281 00:15:58,811 --> 00:16:03,021 Well, if you want my professional opinion of her work, it stinks. 282 00:16:03,082 --> 00:16:05,528 If you want a second opinion, he's right. 283 00:16:05,584 --> 00:16:09,259 Well, I'll have to admit maybe lately she's been a little remiss. 284 00:16:09,321 --> 00:16:11,631 - But I- - I think we should can her. 285 00:16:11,691 --> 00:16:13,534 - You know what I think? - What, Bernie? 286 00:16:13,592 --> 00:16:18,132 I was thinking how nice it was we could all get together in your office, Bob. 287 00:16:18,197 --> 00:16:20,268 We haven't done this in a long time. 288 00:16:20,332 --> 00:16:23,779 It boils down to this- lfshe's not doing thejob, we bounce her. 289 00:16:23,836 --> 00:16:27,045 - [ Phone Ringing] - I mean, what do we need her for? 290 00:16:27,106 --> 00:16:30,053 - [ Ringing Continues] - For that, for one reason. 291 00:16:30,109 --> 00:16:33,784 - Hey, uh, Bernie, get the phone, will ya. - Why me? Let Phil get it. 292 00:16:33,846 --> 00:16:35,792 I just sat down. 293 00:16:35,848 --> 00:16:38,886 - Do you want me to get it? - Forget it, Ralph. We're having a meeting. 294 00:16:38,951 --> 00:16:41,898 - Just let it ring. - Let it ring? What do you mean? 295 00:16:41,954 --> 00:16:44,958 We're doctors. Let the dentist get it. 296 00:16:48,294 --> 00:16:50,740 - Never mind. I'll get it. - [ Ringing Continues] 297 00:16:50,796 --> 00:16:52,742 Could be a sick person. 298 00:16:52,798 --> 00:16:55,438 You know, really this is very easy. 299 00:16:55,501 --> 00:16:58,448 Carol comes late in the morning, she leaves early... 300 00:16:58,504 --> 00:17:01,451 and she keeps the phone tied up with her personal calls. 301 00:17:01,507 --> 00:17:04,920 - Sol say we dump her. - I really don't think it's been that bad. 302 00:17:04,977 --> 00:17:07,890 It was Carol's hairdresser. 303 00:17:07,947 --> 00:17:09,893 Ball game! Ball game! 304 00:17:09,949 --> 00:17:11,895 She's out. 305 00:17:11,951 --> 00:17:13,897 Wait. Carol works for all of us. 306 00:17:13,953 --> 00:17:18,766 I think all of us should decide whether she goes or stays- notjustjerry, not just you. 307 00:17:18,824 --> 00:17:21,828 He's absolutely right. This is a democracy. 308 00:17:21,894 --> 00:17:24,340 No, it isn't. It's a doctors' office. 309 00:17:24,396 --> 00:17:27,002 We are talking about life and death here. 310 00:17:27,066 --> 00:17:30,343 Phil, you're a plastic surgeon. What's life and death about a nosejob? 311 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:35,085 - I think we have to vote. - [ Phone Ringing] 312 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:38,122 - Your turn to catch the phone, Phil. - My turn? 313 00:17:38,177 --> 00:17:40,179 We're taking turns? Oh, goody. 314 00:17:41,514 --> 00:17:43,460 Well, what are we voting on? 315 00:17:43,516 --> 00:17:45,962 - [ Ringing Continues] - Hey how do you work this thing? 316 00:17:46,018 --> 00:17:50,194 - Wait a minute. I'll show you. - I'm gonna go make some coffee. 317 00:17:54,193 --> 00:17:57,640 Well, the two of us can't vote. We're not a quorum. 318 00:17:57,696 --> 00:18:00,700 - Phone for you, Bernie. - Oh, excuse me, Bob. 319 00:18:06,205 --> 00:18:08,412 Hello? Oh. 320 00:18:08,474 --> 00:18:11,421 Oh,yes, Mr. Evans. Yes. What? Oh, no, no. 321 00:18:11,477 --> 00:18:14,424 You can't fool around with that kind of stuff byyourself. 322 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,960 Come in and let me take a look at it. 323 00:18:17,016 --> 00:18:20,054 Do you dial eight or nine for an outside line? 324 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,066 Would it be okay if I made tea instead of coffee? 325 00:18:23,122 --> 00:18:26,262 - No, I'd rather have coffee. - Well, make it yourself. I'm having tea. 326 00:18:26,325 --> 00:18:28,999 - Anybody know the number of the hospital? - [Newman] No. 327 00:18:29,061 --> 00:18:32,065 [Ringing Continues 328 00:18:33,666 --> 00:18:36,613 - Why doesn't this phone stop ringing? - [ Ringing Continues] 329 00:18:36,669 --> 00:18:39,445 This looks like an ant farm. 330 00:18:39,505 --> 00:18:43,885 Can we take a vote on this thing? I've got a 2:30 face-sanding. 331 00:18:43,943 --> 00:18:46,082 Uh, no, she's not here. 332 00:18:46,145 --> 00:18:48,421 - I call for a vote. - I second! 333 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,587 - There are only five of us. What about the other six doctors? - They'll do whatever we say. 334 00:18:52,651 --> 00:18:55,598 Wait a minute. Totten filled out a proxy. 335 00:18:55,654 --> 00:18:58,965 Since he went to the trouble of filling it out, we ought to see what he has to say. 336 00:18:59,024 --> 00:19:02,801 - Oh, a proxy. What does it say? - “Either way.“ 337 00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:06,205 Okay, are we all set to vote? 338 00:19:06,265 --> 00:19:09,303 How do we do this? I think it should be a secret ballot. 339 00:19:09,368 --> 00:19:12,508 - Why don't we just raise our hands? - What's secret about that? 340 00:19:12,571 --> 00:19:15,780 All right, we'll put our heads down on our desks. 341 00:19:15,841 --> 00:19:20,722 Why don't we get scraps of paper, write on 'em, and throw 'em in a hat? 342 00:19:20,779 --> 00:19:22,725 Okay, that's a good idea. 343 00:19:22,781 --> 00:19:26,729 All right, “Yes“ means we keep her and “No“ means we dump her. 344 00:19:26,785 --> 00:19:28,731 - We've got a problem here. - What? 345 00:19:28,787 --> 00:19:31,461 - No hat. - Maybe we could use a bowl. 346 00:19:31,523 --> 00:19:34,527 - I've got one in my office. - No, no! No, no! 347 00:19:36,161 --> 00:19:38,163 L-I don't think so. 348 00:19:39,999 --> 00:19:42,980 Hey, Bob, uh, get that guy's, uh- 349 00:19:43,035 --> 00:19:44,981 Uh, sir, excuse me. 350 00:19:45,037 --> 00:19:48,484 We're taking a vote here, and I wonder if you'd be kind enough to lend us your hat... 351 00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:50,986 to sort of, you know, vote into. 352 00:19:51,043 --> 00:19:54,513 Oh, voting, huh? Sure. Only in America. 353 00:19:54,580 --> 00:19:56,526 It'll just be a minute. 354 00:19:56,582 --> 00:20:00,155 - I still don't see why we just couldn't raise our hands. - Oh, no, this is better, Phil. 355 00:20:00,219 --> 00:20:02,165 I think a secret ballot is important. 356 00:20:02,221 --> 00:20:04,167 All right, here we go. 357 00:20:04,223 --> 00:20:07,432 “Yes. Bernard Tupperman, MD.“ 358 00:20:09,962 --> 00:20:12,238 All I had was my business card. 359 00:20:13,599 --> 00:20:16,102 another “yes? 360 00:20:16,168 --> 00:20:18,170 One “No.“ 361 00:20:19,204 --> 00:20:21,206 “Dump her.“ 362 00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:26,512 This one doesn't have anything. 363 00:20:27,579 --> 00:20:29,525 Well, I, uh, abstained. 364 00:20:29,581 --> 00:20:32,027 Why? You're the one who fired her in the first place. 365 00:20:32,084 --> 00:20:34,530 - I call for another vote. - I'll just abstain again. 366 00:20:34,586 --> 00:20:37,192 I get the feeling we're gonna be locked up in a hotel room all night. 367 00:20:37,256 --> 00:20:39,930 We gotta keep voting till we break the tie. 368 00:20:39,992 --> 00:20:43,064 Maybe I could helpyou out. Could I vote? 369 00:20:43,128 --> 00:20:45,233 No, no. You don't know the issues. 370 00:20:45,297 --> 00:20:49,302 Then there's no difference between this and any other election. 371 00:20:53,372 --> 00:20:56,819 I'm afraid we couldn't let you vote. 372 00:20:56,875 --> 00:20:58,821 Okay. 373 00:20:58,877 --> 00:21:01,915 If I can't vote, I want my hat back. 374 00:21:07,553 --> 00:21:11,501 I don't know. I couldn't have gotten through this if it weren't for Don. 375 00:21:11,557 --> 00:21:14,003 He is just a pillar of strength. 376 00:21:14,059 --> 00:21:16,505 - [Grunts] Ooh! - Ooh! 377 00:21:16,562 --> 00:21:18,974 Except for his feet. 378 00:21:19,031 --> 00:21:21,477 Don't worry about that, Carol. 379 00:21:21,533 --> 00:21:24,776 The thing that really hurts me is what you've been going through. 380 00:21:24,837 --> 00:21:29,286 I mean, I'm not gonna let them do anything like this to you again. 381 00:21:29,341 --> 00:21:32,288 Hemingway would never let this happen to his girl. 382 00:21:32,344 --> 00:21:35,291 Norman Mailer would never let it happen. 383 00:21:35,347 --> 00:21:38,055 Truman Capote would never let it happen. 384 00:21:38,117 --> 00:21:41,496 Well, maybe that's not a good example. But you know what I mean? 385 00:21:41,553 --> 00:21:46,024 We do, Don, and it's wonderful that you're sticking up foryour girl like this. 386 00:21:46,091 --> 00:21:49,038 Well, what else can a man do? 387 00:21:49,094 --> 00:21:51,040 [Emily Chuckles] 388 00:21:51,096 --> 00:21:54,771 I mean, life is- runs in a circle here! 389 00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:57,279 It's like a bunch of hills... 390 00:21:57,336 --> 00:22:01,478 and we climb to the top and look down in the valleys... 391 00:22:01,540 --> 00:22:03,486 and that's it. 392 00:22:04,910 --> 00:22:07,186 I'm gonna soak my feet. 393 00:22:07,246 --> 00:22:10,193 - Uh, the Epsom salt's in the bathroom, Don. - Perfect. 394 00:22:10,249 --> 00:22:12,195 [Grunts] 395 00:22:12,251 --> 00:22:14,857 Life is a... 396 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,662 bunch of hills. 397 00:22:17,723 --> 00:22:19,999 - Hi, honey. - Oh, hi, dear. 398 00:22:20,059 --> 00:22:23,563 Oh, hi, Carol. I'm glad you're still here. I got some great news. 399 00:22:23,629 --> 00:22:27,236 Jerry will be right up. - Oh! You made my clay, Bob. 400 00:22:27,299 --> 00:22:29,245 - What floor are we on? - The fifth. 401 00:22:29,301 --> 00:22:31,303 - Too high. - Mm-hmm. 402 00:22:31,370 --> 00:22:34,317 But, Carol, everything's gonna be all right. 403 00:22:34,373 --> 00:22:39,083 Jerry wants to come over and do one thing- apologize, tell you he's sorry you left... 404 00:22:39,144 --> 00:22:41,385 and- and watch the football game. 405 00:22:41,447 --> 00:22:45,918 Oh, Bob, I hopejerry means it this time, 'cause I don't think Carol can go through this again. 406 00:22:45,984 --> 00:22:48,931 He does, Emily. As a matter of fact, he cast the deciding vote. 407 00:22:48,987 --> 00:22:50,398 Really, Bob? 408 00:22:50,456 --> 00:22:53,665 He made a great speech about what a great person you were. 409 00:22:53,725 --> 00:22:57,036 He said we should all be more understanding, and he demanded another vote... 410 00:22:57,096 --> 00:22:59,042 and it was almost unanimous. 411 00:22:59,098 --> 00:23:01,442 - What do you mean “almost“? - Newman. 412 00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:03,537 - Yea h. - [Knocking] 413 00:23:05,137 --> 00:23:07,515 Oh. Jerry! 414 00:23:07,573 --> 00:23:09,951 Jerry! Oh, thank you, thank you. 415 00:23:10,008 --> 00:23:12,955 And you were right- I was horrible. I was a terrible secretary. 416 00:23:13,011 --> 00:23:15,958 It'll never happen again. I'll be much better, I promise. 417 00:23:16,014 --> 00:23:19,393 It doesn't matter, because I came to fire you againjust kidding! 418 00:23:20,686 --> 00:23:23,292 Say, Emily, I was wondering if you have a- 419 00:23:24,590 --> 00:23:27,070 Oh. Wait a minute. 420 00:23:27,126 --> 00:23:30,073 Aren't you the guy that keeps firing my girl? 421 00:23:30,129 --> 00:23:32,131 -I guess I am. - Yeah? 422 00:23:37,603 --> 00:23:41,176 - Are you gonna hire her back? - I already did. 423 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,811 I'm sorry I had to do that. 424 00:23:49,815 --> 00:23:51,761 Ah, there they are now- 425 00:23:51,817 --> 00:23:54,320 Drs. Hartley, Tupperman andjudas. 426 00:23:57,756 --> 00:24:00,828 - It's very nice to have you back, Carol. - Thank you. 427 00:24:00,893 --> 00:24:02,770 Oh, Bob. 428 00:24:02,828 --> 00:24:05,274 Here. Let me get that for you. 429 00:24:05,330 --> 00:24:07,276 - Oh. Good. - [ Phone Ringing] 430 00:24:07,332 --> 00:24:11,212 And I'll get that for you. I think I know how this works now. 431 00:24:12,204 --> 00:24:14,650 Hello? 432 00:24:14,706 --> 00:24:16,652 Oh, hi- hi, Don. 433 00:24:16,708 --> 00:24:18,745 It's good hearing your voice too. 434 00:24:20,212 --> 00:24:23,421 Li- Life- Life is like a merry-go-round? 435 00:24:25,250 --> 00:24:27,252 Wh-Wh-Why is that, Don? 436 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,322 They both have horses. 437 00:25:10,796 --> 00:25:12,537 [ Mews] 36063

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