Original subtitles

- [ Rings] - Hello?

- Hi, honey. - [Emily] 0h, I11; dear.

- This is Mr. Nenn, the plumber. - How areya?

Fine. What's, uh- What's the problem?

No problem anymore. I just fixed your garbage disposal.

- What was wrong with it? - Nothing that $63 won't take care of.

Sixty-three dollars?

Yeah. Well, it took me almost half an hour.

Plus the drive to and from the shop...

the rental of my snake.

That's a lot of money.

I know. That's why I left med school and became a plumber.

Now, remember, Mrs., uh, Hartley-

- lfit doesn't shred, don't put it down there. - Uh, Mr. Nenn?

I always thought it was ifit does shred, don't put it down there.

Yeah? Well, one or the other.

Emily, from now on, don't put anything down there.

Fine, Bob. I'll just freeze our garbage.

- Anybody home? - Come on in, Howard.

Hey, did you guys get your new lease?

All I got was a $63 plumbing bill.

Oh, then you're probably not in the mood to hear about the new, big rent raise.

Well, I'm in the mood now, Howard.

- What does the lease say? - Let me read it to you here.

It says, “We, the Skyline Management Corporation...

“hereinafter referred to as the- as the lessee...

“do here and under enter into this agreement...

with Howard Mark Borden.“

- That's me. - I know, Howard.

Uh, “Hereto after referred to as the lessor"...

- H-Howard? - “hereto af-“

Howard, could you read the part about the rent raise?

I can tell you that. They raised it $50 a month.

- You're kidding. - Fifty dollars a month?

Yeah, and that's every month, even the short ones like February.

It's getting so expensive, only plumbers can afford to live here.

Well, at least you don't have any alimony payments. You don't, do you, Bob?

- No, Howard. - Boy, I tell you, I do.

They keep going up and up and up.

My little Howie's in the fourth grade now...

and he needs bigger clothes and bigger crayons.

Well, I'll just have to tighten the old belt there and start on a new economy.

Boy, I tell you, it's really getting rough. I mean, really rough!

Would you like to stay for dinner?

No, I've gotta go downtown and pick up my new Mercedes. Bye.

Everybody is getting a raise. Plumbers, building owners.

Honey, you haven't heard any rumors down at the Psychologists Union Hall.

No, I haven't, but some psychologists are charging incredible sums.

Oh, yeah? How incredible?

The psychologist in the penthouse suite charges a dollar a minute.

I don't know how a guy like that gets away with it.

Why don't you go upstairs and ask him?

I did, but by the time I got through introducing myself, it had cost me eight bucks.

[Clacking]

[Giggling]

Jerry, what are you doing?

Oh. I was just, uh-just checking these out to make sure they work.

Really loosens the kids up. Come on in. Take a seat.

- Thanks. - [Clack/mg]

[Chuckling]

Well, what can I do for you, Bob?

Jerry, how- how often do you raise your rates?

I have a rule of thumb. When the dollar goes down, I go up.

- You must go up pretty often. - I have to, Bob.

I got a lot of overhead. You know, new equipment, supplies.

For instance, take this chairyou're sitting on. What do you think this chair costs?

-I have no idea. - This is no ordinary chair.

This is a 'IS-position, hydraulically operated Delgado dental chair.

Imitation leather-like vinyl, polyurethane foam, form-fitting bucket seat, the works.

You guess what this costs.

Without radio and heater, $4,000.

Two thousand dollars. The drill? Fifteen hundred.

Three thousand dollars, $2,700.

- [ Teeth [lacking] - Fifty-nine cents.

I got a lot of new stuff coming in here, Bob, all the time.

Now somebodys gotta pay for that. Sure as heck isn't gonna be me.

Jerry, the reason I asked- I'm thinking about raising my rates.

What for? What's your overhead?

Briefcase every 1 O years. The wear and tear on your couch?

Couple of ripped-up pillows every week? I mean, what's that?

I have to rationalize some way of keeping up with the cost of living.

Cost of living? What does it cost you to live?

You got no kids. You don't own your home.

You certainly don't spend a lot on your clothes.

You don't think I should raise my rates?

Well, I didn't say that. When was the last time you raised them?

- Never. - Never?

- You've never raised your rates, Bob? - That's right.

Well, you're a fool.

You've gotta raise your rates every once in a while.

Otherwise your patients won't thinkyou're doing any good.

- Jerry, I just-l feel guilty. - You shouldn't feel guilty.

You thinkyour patients feel guilty about not paying their bill on time?

My patients feel guilty about everything.

Well, you know, getting money from my patients is like pulling teeth.

But seriously, Bob, we're specialists.

We do a good job, and we deserve to get paid for it.

You're rightjerry. I'm gonna raise my rates.

I'm not gonna worry about it. I'm gonna start with my group therapy group right now.

That's the attitude, and you shouldn't worry about it.

You've got those poor, dependent people right in the palm of your hand.

The only thing you have to worry about is your conscience.

- Thanks, j erry. - Right.

Well,we're all, uh-

We're all here a little early today.

Yeah, Dr. Hartley. We're all a little early today.

Good.

I'm glad you are.

Dr. Hartley, you're probably wondering why we all came a little early today.

- Yes, I was. - Well, Dr. Hartley...

today is our second anniversary of being together as a group.

Oh! Oh.

Today is our second anniversary of being together as a group.

L- I heard you, Mr. Gianelli.

Today is our second anniversary...

of being together as a group, Peterson!

Huh? Ooh! I'm sorry.

That was my cue.

Happy anniversary!

Happy anniversary, Dr. Hartley!

Oh, well, that's- that's really something.

I don't, uh- I don't know what to say.

And now we'd like to give you some gifts.

- That really isn't necessary. - That's what I said, but I got outvoted.

Dr. Hartley, this first gift represents not only an inspiring message...

but also my lifestyle.

Th-Thank you very much, Mr. Peterson.

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.“

Th-Thank you very much, Mr. Peterson.

- You're welcome, Dr. Hartley. I only wish that- - Next!

Dr. Hartley, my father said you would really enjoy this.

Here.

- Well, thank you, Michelle. - Looks like it's gonna be a hammer.

Now, why did you tell him?

You might as well not even open it.

Uh, Michelle, I-l don't know that it's a hammer.

Oh, it's a hammer.

Everyone needs a hammer.

You know, Dr. Hartley...

before I came to you, I didn't have the guts to try anything creative...

because I was afraid people would say my work stunk.

Now I don't care what people say.

What do you say?

It's-lt's very nice. I love, uh-l love clowns.

Yes, well, uh, I painted it myself.

- It's a self-portrait. - Oh, come on, Peterson.

Dr. Hartley, this is my gift.

I didn't have a chance to wrap it...

because I only finished knitting it this second.

Oh, a wallet.

How- How unusual.

And practical.

And yellow.

Yes, isn't it cheery?

And there's a place for your credit cards and a place for your change.

I didn't have time to knityou a secret compartment...

but I 070' put in a picture ofjane Wyman.

Th-Thank you all very much.

Don't you have a gift, Elliot?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I thought about it for a long time, and I couldn't think of what to get you...

sol figured, uh...

just pick yourself out something.

- A ten-dollar bill? - Yeah. You got two fives?

Yes, I thinkl do.

That's very thoughtful, Mr. Carlin.

There. Here you are.

I'll just put it here with the other gifts.

Well, uh, thanks to all of you.

It's been a- it's been a wonderful two years.

Thank you.

L-I'm very happy about what's happening here.

Uh, however, lam a little concerned...

about something I'm, uh- I'm about to bring up.

Part of me tells me I should, and, uh, part of me tells me I shouldn't.

Maybe, uh, a later session might be better.

- What's he talking about? - Search me.

I know what he's talking about. He doesn't like my gift.

No, no, Mr. Carlin. It isn't that.

- I like your gift. - Then what are you talking about?

- Yeah. We wanna know. - Yeah.

Well, since we've always worked on being honest here in the group...

and since I was going to tell you this today...

I will.

I'm, uh- I'm going to raise my rates...

five dollars a session.

I just can't understand this, Dr. Hartley.

Apparently, Michelle, you're not the only one that feels that way.

It isn't so much the money, but it's the fact we didn't even discuss it first.

I thought everything we did in this room was based on openness, honesty and mutual agreement.

Well, unfortunately, Michelle, this decision was based on need.

I don't buy that.

If you ask me, it's just another example ofsockin' it to the workingman.

They're hittin' us on all the essentials-

food, clothing, shelter and now shrinks.

I can appreciate that, but you have to understand, this wasn't a spur-of-the-moment-

All I can say is I never thought I'd see the clay.

- What do you mean by that? - I remember the lean years.just the two of us.

I was your first patient. You didn't have a couch to lie on.

We had to sit together in the same overstuffed chair.

I can relate to that, Elliot.

I've been coming here ever since I graduated from high school.

Remember my first visit, Dr. Hartley?

Well, I rememberyou were wearing a cap and gown.

Yeah, and my father didn't even come to see me graduate...

just because his unit was called up, and he had to go to the Bay of Pigs that night.

Mr. Peterson, we haven't heard from you.

- How do you feel about this? - I hate you, Dr. Hartley.

I never felt such hostility towards anyone in my whole life...

as I feel towards you right this minute.

Well, in a way that's good, Mr. Peterson.

Um, a year ago, you wouldn't have been able to say that.

No, I wouldn't. And I'll never say anything like that again.

You're not mad at me, are you?

No, Mr. Peterson. I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at any of you.

I mean, you're expressing yourselves, and that's what we do here in group...

and I appreciate that.

I'd like to say a word on behalf of Dr. Hartley, if I may.

I'd, uh- I'd appreciate that too.

I don't understand what all the fuss and feathers is about.

Dr. Hartley has a perfect right to raise his rates.

After all, he has to earn a living too, He works hard.

He performs a wonderful service, and he should make more money.

Unfortunately, I will not be able to afford to come to the group anymore.

- Mrs. Bakerman, please. - No.

It's been very nice knowing you all.

Maybe we can go on a picnic sometime.

Good-bye.

Door Closes 1

Emily, I can't get it out of my mind.

I thought Mr. Peterson was actually gonna hit me in the mouth.

It wouldn't have hurt, but it would have stung a little.

I mean, why- why am I always the heavy?

Other people ask for a raise, and they get it.

You know why? it's 'cause I'm a nice guy. A nice guy with bad timing.

I should have waited for another session...

or at least until the applause died down.

Maybe I should have done what other psychologists do-

just put it on the bill, you know?

That's so cold and impersonal. I just- I couldn't do it that way.

I mean, five dollars a week,.

What's five dollars a week?

I'll tell you what five dollars a week is.

It's $20 a month for someone like Mrs. Bakerman.

I mean, she's a checker in a- in a supermarket.

They don't make that kind of money.

Although I understand they're gonna get a big raise.

Everybody's getting a big raise but me.

I could, uh- I could make an exception in her case.

No, that wouldn't be fair to the rest of the group.

I could make an exception of the whole group.

But then I wouldn't get my five-dollar raise.

Then I- Then I'd look like I couldn't make up my mind.

Emily, I know exactly what I'm gonna do tomorrow.

[Muffled Talking, indistinct]

[Gargling]

[Muffled Talking]

Out of a molehill.

You know, I feel much better now, Emily.

You know, I feel so good, I'm not even gonna do my exercises.

You know, Emily? You're always right there when I need you.

- Oh, listen, Bob. You got a phone call- - Carol, I'm late for group.

Sorry I'm a little late.

Carol?

- My- My group's not here. - I know, Bob.

Well, they're probably a little late.

No, they're not, Bob.

Maybe they're in a carpool, and the car got stuck in traffic.

No, they didn't, Bob.

Well, then where's my group?

They're not coming.

Well, now, I tried to tell you before that Mr. Peterson called...

and he has a message he wanted me to give to you from the whole group.

What's, uh- What's the message?

[Clears Throat] “Tell Dr. Rip-off...

we've decided to go it alone.“

Yes, Burl was a taxidermist for most of his adult life.

Didn't you love the raccoon in the bedroom?

Yeah.

He had a wonderful talent, don't you think?

These are the little woodland creatures that he knew and loved.

- Burl was your husband? - Yes.

Unfortunately, as you know, he passed on.

Oh. Yes. I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right.

I think we miss him most around Thanksgiving.

Nobody could stuff a turkey like Burl.

[Doorbell Rings

- Hi, Mrs. Bakerman. - Hello, boys. Please come in.

- Hi, everybody. - [ Both] Hi.

Please, let's sit down.

Would you care for some tea or something to drink?

- I'd love a drink. What do you got? - Apricot punch.

Pass.

Well, here we all are together!

Wouldn't Dr. Hartley be proud of us?

- I don't think so. - Forget Dr. Hartley.

We don't need him. Let's just get started, okay?

Fine! The group is now in session.

Well, uh, why don't we pick up where we left off last week?

Waita minute. Who died and made you king?

- What do you mean? - I don't recall a vote about who's gonna take charge here.

'Cause ifthere'd been a vote, you wouldn't have won, Peterson.

If you don't like it, you can leave. Everything was fine until you came in late.

What's the matter, Peterson? You afraid of a vote?

I'm not afraid. I call for a vote.

Okay, how many people want Peterson?

I just want to make sure it was democratic.

Stupid waste of time.

I'm beginning to feel an incredible tightness in my stomach.

That ain't where we left off last week.

Yes, it is. That's where we always leave off.

No, we didn't. Last week we left off with me.

I believe Mr. Gianelli is right. He was telling us about his puberty.

- Yeah, my puberty. - Okay, go ahead, but then it's my turn.

Okay.

See, I was real fat when I was 14 and 15...

and, uh, everybody picked on me.

They called me]-

Well, uh, never mind what they called me.

No. Go on with that, Mr. Gianelli. What did they call you?

- Aw, forget it. - Come on. Tell us. You'll feel much better.

- That's right. - Okay.

They called mejelly Belly.

- Jelly Belly? - Yeah.

[Chuckling] jelly Belly Gianelli?

You little runt! I don't have to take that!

How would you like to be stuffed like the rest of these squirrels?

Now, boys, we mustn't fight.

We must let Mr. Gianelli finish.

Yeah, I am finished. I ain't saying another word.

- Then, Michelle, it is your turn. - Thank you.

I have an incredible tightness in my stomach...

and I'm wondering what it is, Mr. Peterson.

I know I've worked out a lot of my ambivalent feelings towards my father...

but I'm wondering if I wasn't transferring some of my overt hostility...

into a latent sibling rivalry.

- What do you think, Mr. Peterson? - Huh?

Uh-Well, uh-

Well, what's important is what you think, Michelle.

- I mean, what do you think? - I don't know what I think.

If I knew what I thought, I wouldn't askyou what you think.

I know what I think. I think we need a new leader.

- You couldn't do any better. - Uh, excuse me.

Elliot hasn't said anything. Let's listen to what he has to say.

You have a restroom?

Yes, it's right over there.

Watch out for the cats!

I'm not going.

- I'm allergic to cats. - I'm allergic to you.

[Michelle] My stomach is one big knot.

Bakerman] Maybe if you tried some punch, dear.

Gianelli} I'll tell you who needs a punch.

[Peterson] Oh, yeah? Come on and try it,jelly Belly!

Listen, Squirrel Face! You wanna take those glasses ofi?

- Olzyeah? - Hello? Dr. Hartley?

Elliot Carlin.

The reason I'm phoning is, uh, do you make house calls?

Gianelli} So anyway, we were talking it over...

while we were waiting for you to get here.

Well, this is how it is, Dr. Hartley.

We all agree that you're worth twice what you're asking...

and we'll chip in to pay for Mrs. Bakerman.

Well, that's certainly, uh, one suggestion.

Another suggestion might be to charge Mrs. Bakerman the old rate.

Great. We can all save a buck and a quarter.

That's very nice, but only on one condition.

That I am allowed to bring the refreshments to every meeting.

Well-

We'll certainly look forward to that.

As long as you're here, Dr. Hartley, would it be okay if we had a short session?

Fine.

Well, why don't we pick it up where we left off last week?

You hear that, Peterson? That's the way to lead a group.

I was talking about this incredible tightness in my stomach.

Isn't this nice?

It starts the first thing in the morning...

even on the sunniest of days-

Bob! Are you through with your session already?

No, we'rejust taking a refreshment break.

Mrs. Bakerman's serving some sugar cookies and some apricot punch.

- Oh. - I'm gonna treat for dessert.

- Dessert? - Would you run down to the snack bar and get it for us?

Well, sure, Bob. What do you want?

Six bicarbonate of soda.

Right.

Oh, Bob? Snappy wallet.

[ Mews]