Original subtitles

( Horn honking )

I'm Alex Mack.

I was just an average kid

until an accident changed my life.

And since then...

Nothing's been the same.

( Zapping )

My best friend Ray thinks it's cool.

My sister Annie thinks I'm a science project.

I can't let anyone else know.

Not even my parents.

I know the Chemical Plant wants to find me

and turn me into some experiment.

But you know something?

I guess I'm not so average anymore.

Woman over P.A.: Hey, kids, that's it for the year.

Enjoy another beautiful winter wonderland in Paradise Valley.

Your holiday temperature is currently 101 degrees.

Happy shopping, students.

I don't know if I'll be able

to stand a weekend at my grandparents'.

I mean, they're just too jolly

and I hate that!

Robyn, there's something

definitely wrong with you.

I'm almost done shopping.

Only my mom's left.

What did you get yours?

Nothing, yet.

So, let's go to the mall together.

We can do, uh, last minute shopping.

I can't.

I don't have any money.

I started saving, but it was way too late.

December just flew by

didn't it?

I'm dead.

I can't believe this, Alex.

You go through this every year.

I know.

What are you so worried about?

Christmas isn't just about giving gifts.

Nicole's right.

I mean, it's also about

a decadent merchandising plot

that stabilizes a government-controlled economy

in the name of goodwill.

Doesn't matter what you say.

If I don't have presents by Christmas

I'll be considered a total failure

as a sister and daughter.

Maybe I can get a job with you.

I don't know, Alex.

The area of forestry I've been involved with

demands a certain skill base.

Don't be so dramatic.

You're just selling Christmas trees.

Ray, help out your best friend.

All right, all right.

I'll inquire as to positions available.

Thank you.

All right, we've got to go.

Bye. Bye.

Have fun.

( Mr. Mack humming "Deck the Halls" )

¶ Da-da-da-da-da ¶

¶ da-da-da-da-dah! ¶

I'm really excited about this.

It's been over ten years

since the whole Mack family

has been back to Paradise Valley.

Remember the last one?

I was a junior research member

you were working as a secretary.

We didn't have much to show for ourselves--

except for the girls.

We could barely afford a tree.

It was pretty humiliating.

George...

Uncle Bernard... I don't have any ideas.

What do you think he would like?

Bernard-- do we have to get him something?

Yes, George, I can't believe you said that.

That's no holiday spirit!

Because that Bernard won't ever let up.

Every time we see him, he's calling me

"Supernerd" and "Mr. Wizard"

and when he was here last

he really rubbed it in by bragging

about his money and his success--

and by making fun of our situation.

I've never forgotten that.

George, he's my brother.

I love him.

We all know he has a lousy sense of humor.

I think you're taking this too personally.

I'll show him a Mack family Christmas.

Vince: Research and development claim they have discovered

the first possible side effects

of GC-161 if taken in large doses.

That's not good news.

Vince, set it up.

I want to test the Chemical balance personally.

Are you sure

that is the correct approach, Miss Atron?

Perhaps you shouldn't

get that close to the project.

Yes. Yes, I do, or I wouldn't have said so.

You know, for somebody who

has pretty much failed at their task

I find it odd that you'd try to advise me

on how to run my own company.

Have it set up by tomorrow morning.

Mrs. Mack: George, how long before you get all this stuff up?

I don't want these lights

all over.

I have to make sure they work.

You know how these lights are.

One out and the whole string fails.

This is pathetic.

Every three months

you ask to borrow more money. No!

Come on, Annie, it's Christmas.

Can't you be more generous?

Alex, Christmas is the one time

I can't afford to be generous.

I have to buy gifts, too.

Mr. Mack: Alex, give me a hand.

I'll plug this one in, then you put that one in.

Okay.

( Electrical crackling )

George!

Annie: Nice going, Dad.

Oh!

( Knocking at door )

Hey, who's messing with the lights?

So...?

Well, I made

a few inquiries and...

you start your job tomorrow.

Oh, Ray, I knew you'd save me.

You're the best.

So how much does it pay?

Up to you-- it's all commission.

You get paid for the amount of trees you sell.

Don't worry, I'll show you.

It's only one day, but it is Christmas Eve.

Play it right, you can make a bundle.

Thanks.

No problem.

( Crackling )

Mr. Mack: Sorry.

Vince: The good news is, as year end approaches

we're closer to developing

new techniques which could determine

the child's age and gender

thus eliminating a significant percentage

of the community!

Well, it's about time

you gave some good news, Vince.

I've got to get this GC-161 project

completed quickly.

My... superiors

are a little less than pleased

at our slow progress.

A vacuum zone is all set up

for you in the lab, Miss Atron.

Alex: Thanks for shopping at Steve's Trees.

Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

( To "Jingle Bells" ): ¶ tree sales, tree sales ¶

¶ Tree sales all the way ¶

¶ Oh, what fun it is to have money every day. ¶

radio announcer: Next up on the buzz bin will be "Santa needs a milkshake."

You see, Alex?

It's all in how you talk to them.

It's like they want to give me their money.

Like I'm performing a community service.

It is such a beautiful thing to watch you work, Ray.

Aw.

I mean it. It's beautiful.

Here you go, buddy.

Now, uh, what about your buddy here?

I've taken her through the preliminaries.

I think she's ready to fly solo.

( Car honking )

( Honking )

Whoa.

Ahh... give it a rest, Steve-O.

Slam dunk for the new kid.

All right, Ray.

All right.

You see, Alex?

Now, it's your first sale.

Remember, it's commission

so you have to sell quickly

and then move on to the next.

All right?

Now, get volume and more volume.

All right. Go on.

Ray, I know I've got a long way to go

but this is easy money.

My own sister?

Stand back.

Welcome to Steve's Trees.

Can I help you?

( Laughing )

So this is your job?

It's very industrious.

I'm impressed.

Thanks, Annie.

So, how much are you looking to spend here?

Well, we need

a little information first

like, what's the difference

between a Douglas fir and a cypress?

Um, I-I'm not exactly sure.

Well, I think cypresses are conical

when young, then grow into sturdy, low-spreading trees.

If you can't answer my questions

how do you expect to sell to somebody

you don't even know?

You've got to be prepared: know your trees thoroughly.

Come on, Annie, cut her some slack.

It's Christmas Eve, she's flat broke

and we're holding her up.

Okay. So show us what you've got.

Right this way.

So, do I get a family discount?

No, you don't-- you're my first customer.

And if they all take as long as you

I'll never make any money.

Okay!

( Air hissing )

( Air hissing )

Vince! Vince!

Slow down.

Dave, get back to sector "C" and do

whatever it is we pay you for.

Do you realize how close you are

to contaminating a vacuum zone?

No. But as you know, I'm often

in the right place at the wrong time.

Dave, I'm about to enter into

a very important test with Miss Atron.

Did you have something urgent

that you needed to discuss with me?

Ta-da!

Merry Christmas, Vince!

( Grunting ): It's against company policy

for me to accept gifts of any type, Dave!

( Chimp screeching )

( Screeching )

Oscar!

Come back, boy! Oscar!

We have a security breach.

Blue zone, code five.

Repeat, code five.

We have an unrestrained animal

loose in the laboratory.

I want it apprehended immediately!

Man over loudspeaker: Blue zone, code five.

Blue zone, code five.

All personnel exit from blue zone.

All personnel exit from blue zone.

( Alarm buzzing )

( Door closes )

( Squeaking )

( Alarm continues )

( Squeaking )

( Alarm continues )

Just let me explain.

Do we have any idea what triggered the alarm?

No, uh, no positive identification as of yet.

Might be a system malfunction.

Vince, I'm fed up with system malfunctions.

Would you get it under control

so I can get my work done!

Yes... ma'am.

Wasn't my fault, it was...

Your fault!

And have I got

a Christmas present for you!

( Alarm continuing )

( Slurping )

( Squeaking )

Come out, come out, wherever you are

my hairy little friend.

What?!

( Chimp screeching )

( Squeaking )

( Screeches loudly )

( Screeching )

Security. I've got the chimp in my sights.

( Squeaking )

Headed west on maple

toward the Christmas tree lot.

Over.

Annie: No.

No, not that one.

These branches don't fall right.

Annie, you've seen

practically every tree on the lot.

Yeah, Annie, the concept we're dealing with here is commission.

You move the merchandise, you make the money.

You're killing us.

Vince: Let's go!

Hurry up!

Move it!

I'm never going to make enough money at this rate.

Why is she doing this to me?

( Chattering )

Hey.

( Kissing )

Ray: Alex, hurry up.

( Zapping )

( Zapping )

( Laughing )

Ray, you're not going to believe what's in there.

And it just zapped me, too.

( Zapping )

( Chimp chattering )

Annie: Bryce...

Alex is really struggling

so I think I might help her

with a few sales tips.

Okay, but please hurry up.

My Christmas spirit is taking a serious beating.

I'm almost done.

I think she's starting to get the hang of it.

Alex, I got to go and you should, too.

That monkey's exhibiting all of your symptoms.

If he's been contaminated like I think he has

then Vince isn't far behind.

We can't leave him here.

They'll chop him up

like they want to do with me.

Alex, it's not worth it.

Now, just sell me a tree and forget about the monkey.

Ray: Yo, Steve! They'll take a cypress.

Alex, you've got to get far away from here.

How can we leave him here?

He must be really scared.

( Sirens wailing )

We got to go now.

Come here.

Secure all entrances and exits.

I've already got a tree, Vince

but I'll help you pick one out.

Obviously you're looking for silvertips.

Don't get rough, I can show you other trees.

Great, we have nowhere to go.

We're trapped like rats.

Rats with a monkey.

Perfect.

Hey, stop those two!

Hey, no running! This is a tree lot!

Man: Over there, around that tree.

Man: The girl with the monkey...

There she goes.

Welcome to Steve's Trees.

Glad you're here.

We got special group rate sales...

Save you a lot of money.

( Chimp screeching )

The girl with the monkey...

There she goes.

Hey, come back here.

( Screeching )

Where did he go?!

Get your men out on the road.

Find that animal! Now!

Dave: Oscar?

Dave, one tear

and you are history!

Honey, what do you think?

George, does the word "overkill" mean anything to you?

Please don't be so negative, honey.

I just want this house

to feel as christmasy as possible.

George, this is not funny.

You are obviously overloading something, everything.

I'll check the fuse box... again.

Dave: Vince, it's Christmas Eve.

Can we knock off early?

Vince: Nobody knocks off till we find that monkey.

Announcer: Well, the sun is setting

over Santa's tropical winter wonderland.

We wish you and your family a happy Christmas Eve.

We leave you now with "don't cry for me, Santa Clausito."

I'm doomed, Ray.

I've got nothing-- no money, no gifts.

Don't worry, Alex.

I can float you a small loan.

You've given me a lot already.

And even if you did

all the stores are already closed.

I don't even have anything for you.

You don't have to get me anything.

You're there for me all year long.

You're my best friend.

Thanks. But there's still a small matter of my family.

I can't even face them right now.

See you tomorrow.

Okay.

Mr. Mack: Tell me-- am I nuts?

I spend all week on this ridiculous light show

and I can't even turn it on

without blowing out all our fuses.

I'll have to work on it all day tomorrow

and it still might not be ready.

Bernard may have the last laugh... again.

George, what about me?

Have you taken a good look at this house lately?

I can't possibly get it cleaned up by tomorrow.

Mom, I wanted to wear this for the party tomorrow

and it has a big rip.

Can you fix it?

No, Annie, I, I don't have the time.

You'll have to sew it yourself.

Mom, you know I can't sew.

You can split atoms, but you can't sew?

Fine, forget it.

I'll just wear something I hate instead.

Mr. Mack: Alex is still out?

Mrs. Mack: Yes, and she's probably having a great time too.

( Zapping )

( Whispering ): Hey, guys.

Alex?

Honey...

Hey.

Merry Christmas.

Thank you so much.

Mr. Mack: And my lights.

What a wonderful surprise.

How did you do all of this?

Well, Ray helped a little.

The rest just kind of happened by accident.

As long as we can keep them running until Bernard gets here

I'll be happy.

Thanks, Alex.

You guys don't have to be so nice to me.

I didn't even get any of you presents.

Mrs. Mack: Alex...

You've given us so much

more than you know, and not just this.

Everything you do.

Honey, we love you.

You don't have to buy us presents.

Hey, you guys, dinner's being served.

Good, I'm ready.

Annie, you think that chimp got away?

I hope so.

Once they discover he has powers like you

they're going to see you

as an even bigger threat than ever.

So it's good we helped him escape?

As long as you made it, yeah.

But, whatever made you do it, Alex?

Because he was just like me.

I guess.

Wherever he is

I hope he has friends like you guys

to look out for him.

Boy, I'm glad I found you again.

And don't worry, Oscar.

I'm not going to give you back to Vince.

He's not ready to nurture anybody yet.

But you and me? We're a team.

You hungry?

( Chimp chatters )

I'll get you something.

Man on TV: Ha-ha. I finally got my revenge, Santa.

Finally the world will learn

that there's another holiday every December

and merry Christmas?

I don't think so.

( Zapping and screeching )

( Screeching )

( Zapping and screeching )

TV announcer: Now, welcome back to

Merry Christmas? I don't think so

a special colorized holiday presentation

brought to you by the good people

at Paradise Valley Chemical

who believe in progress at any cost.

( Car door slams )

Oh, no.

( Doorbell rings )

Bernard, long time no see.

Hiya, George.

Do you, uh, mind if we have a word outside?

George, uh, I was thinking on my way over here tonight

how I've made jokes at your expense over the years.

Jokes? I really can't recall that, Bernie.

You know, how I used to tease you about being Mr. Wizard

or how one day you'd discover

how to turn those little paychecks into big ones?

Oh, now it's coming back to me.

Well, before I enter your beautiful home

and see your family again

I wanted to let you know that I am sorry...

And that I am very proud

that my sister has married such a good guy.

Merry Christmas, George.

Merry Christmas, Bernard.

Merry Christmas.

Look, you want to help me hang some lights?

Oh, yeah, but it's not one of those contraptions...

No, no... Honey, honey, look who's here.

Annie: Hey, Alex

what is it you want for Christmas?

( Zapping )

Ray: That's cool.

Merry Christmas, Al.

Come on, you guys, let's go eat.

Merry Christmas, Ray.

Captioned by Grant Brown