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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,127 Previously on "Reaper"... 2 00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,227 This is Morgan... my son. 3 00:00:04,270 --> 00:00:06,738 Hey, I guess that makes you two half-brothers, huh? 4 00:00:06,773 --> 00:00:08,764 What's up, dude? 5 00:00:08,808 --> 00:00:09,968 What are you doing? 6 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,272 Oh, Dad sent me to do the job you couldn't do. 7 00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:12,642 You are evil. 8 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,341 I'm the son of the Devil. What'd you expect? 9 00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:17,213 What the hell's going on here? 10 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:18,877 We're celebrating Sammy's win. 11 00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:20,715 Please, I'm not taking your pity prize. 12 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,688 Even after you find out that everything else is gone... 13 00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:25,088 your keys, your wallet, your clothes, 14 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,593 your car, your condo... everything? 15 00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:29,618 You looking for these? 16 00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:30,993 You're a dead man. 17 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,055 Welcome. I'm Steve. 18 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,225 - Sam. - This is my partner Tony. 19 00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:37,930 We're part of an underground alliance of demons planning to overthrow the Devil! 20 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,768 Hey, gang. 21 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,742 Quite a show, huh? 22 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,404 Steve? You made it? You made it to heaven? 23 00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,970 It's even better than Cancun. 24 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,115 That is ridiculous. I cannot get behind that. 25 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,880 Come on. Ben, help me out here. 26 00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:54,682 I'm sorry, man. I'm with Sock on this one. 27 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,121 I'm right on this. It's not gay to bang a clone of yourself. 28 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,557 It's absolutely gay to bang a clone of yourself. 29 00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:00,991 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 30 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,517 I thought we'd celebrate. 31 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:06,054 Oh, right, Nina. Yeah, a little pizza, a little bubbly, 32 00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:08,192 a little... suitcase. 33 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,724 What are we celebrating? 34 00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:12,465 - Ben didn't tell you? - I was just about to. 35 00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:14,200 Tell us what? 36 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,071 I'm moving in with you guys! 37 00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:18,168 Ha ha ha! 38 00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:21,078 Yeah, that'll be the day. 39 00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:23,082 Wait, Sock, what's the problem? 40 00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:24,981 I don't like it, Ben. I don't like it one little bit. 41 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,714 Having a lady in the house opens a window to lady trouble. 42 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,551 Next thing you know we'll all be on the same cycle. 43 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,216 Sam, what do you think? 44 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,817 To be honest, Ben, I don't think it's such a good idea. 45 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:36,226 - Thank you. - Are you uncomfortable 46 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,093 because of that time that I kissed you? 47 00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:39,860 - What? - What? 48 00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,629 You kissed Nina? 49 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,637 Damn, man. 50 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,536 - Ow! - That was for you, Benji. 51 00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,541 - Thank you. - Baby, it wasn't his fault. 52 00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:50,668 Actually, it was me. I kissed him. 53 00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:52,940 It was a long time ago and I thought 54 00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:54,674 that there was something evil about him 55 00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:57,182 that I was extremely attracted to, 56 00:01:57,217 --> 00:02:00,277 but now I realize that he isn't remotely wicked. 57 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,480 Thank you. 58 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,512 You're welcome. I mean, look at him. 59 00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:06,150 He's so white bread. 60 00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,591 He's just bland and he's... 61 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:08,821 - Blah? - Yes. 62 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,262 He's blah. Exactly. 63 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,525 I am not blah. 64 00:02:12,565 --> 00:02:13,827 Eh... 65 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,300 Baby, listen to me. 66 00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:18,202 I have been doing a ton of work on myself 67 00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:20,206 and I am proud to say now 68 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,231 that I can control my urges. 69 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,607 I'm only just a little bit 70 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,044 attracted to evil now. 71 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,243 Okay, I believe you. Let's move past it. 72 00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,717 - Really? - Yeah. 73 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:34,686 It's been a while, but I get it... 74 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:37,849 you're a demon and certain things are just in your nature. 75 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,553 You like to eat live animals, make out with my friends 76 00:02:40,593 --> 00:02:42,720 and you hate wearing synthetic fabrics. 77 00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:44,320 I like clothes that breathe. 78 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,798 Okay, none of this is out. 79 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,666 Are we good? Can Nina stay? 80 00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:51,567 Yes, sure. Why not? 81 00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,504 All right. Socky? 82 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,338 Fine, whatever. Pop the bubbly. Let it flow. 83 00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:03,849 White bread? 84 00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:06,249 I'm definitely not white bread. I'm a total badass. 85 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:12,085 Morgan? 86 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:16,084 This is all your fault. I had everything, and you stole it from me. 87 00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:20,131 I never wanted it. 88 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,268 This is all you deserve. 89 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,112 Who am I kidding, man? I can't kill you. 90 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:35,637 I can't kill anybody. I just never had the instinct. 91 00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:40,016 It's all gone, Sam... 92 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,317 the cars, the clothes. 93 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:45,347 Last night I had to go on a date with an actress, Sam... 94 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,359 an actress. 95 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,054 I can't even date models anymore. 96 00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,653 That's rough. 97 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,565 You okay? 98 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,502 Just tweaked my ankle a little bit. 99 00:03:57,537 --> 00:04:00,301 I'm sorry, man. I should have never come here. 100 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,706 None of this was even your fault. 101 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:06,007 So what now? Where are you gonna go? 102 00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:09,776 I mean, you have somewhere to stay... a friend's place, right? 103 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,148 Funny thing about my friends, Sam... 104 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,847 once my money disappeared, they did too. 105 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:18,050 You want to crash here? 106 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,288 Don't you yank my chain right now, Sam. I am fragile. 107 00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:23,192 Just until you get back on your feet. 108 00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,257 Thanks, man. 109 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,824 Can I get some help? 110 00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:31,598 Oh, yeah yeah. Sure, man, yeah. 111 00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:34,801 Morgan, I just needed a hand. 112 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,139 It's okay, man. You're light 113 00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:39,303 like a kitten. 114 00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,677 Man, this is gonna be so great. 115 00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,722 So it's me and the countess on her plane, 116 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,023 and by this point she's just wearing her tiara. 117 00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:57,325 Oh, filthy royals. I love it. 118 00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:58,762 Yeah, then she says to me, 119 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,130 "Have you ever been on a private plane before?" 120 00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,362 What did you say? 121 00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:05,530 I said, " No, Countess, I never have." 122 00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,402 But you had been on one before, right? 123 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,704 Yeah, oh, yeah, I had the week before 124 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:11,175 with her mom. 125 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:12,507 Oh, no! 126 00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:15,070 Morgan, you're so bad. 127 00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:16,911 Oh, dude, you can stay here as long as you want, man. 128 00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:20,077 With you around I'm bound to catch a little lady shrapnel. 129 00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:22,883 I don't know, Sock. Those days seem to be long gone. 130 00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:25,482 Oh, no you have plenty of callous 131 00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:28,653 sociopathic tendencies left in you. 132 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,720 I can see these things. I'm a demon. 133 00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:34,164 Seriously? A full-blown demon? 134 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,565 Uh-huh. 135 00:05:35,601 --> 00:05:37,091 Would you like more cereal? 136 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:38,535 Please. 137 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:43,733 Damn, Ben, I had no idea you were a pervert. 138 00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:46,210 I mean, I can't say I blame you for going there. 139 00:05:46,245 --> 00:05:48,679 Um, I'd like to propose a dress code for the breakfast table. 140 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,013 T-shirts should accompany boxers. 141 00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:54,508 Boxers should not be worn unless under pants... 142 00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,886 regular loose-fitting pants. 143 00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:58,117 Shall we vote? 144 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,897 Oh, cart boy. 145 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,368 Nice ride. 146 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:11,768 Yeah, back at you. 147 00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:13,066 Ow. 148 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,937 What's with your leg? 149 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:17,067 Oh, I was just messing around with the guys. 150 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,340 Oh, a good old-fashioned game of grab-ass, huh? 151 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,347 I remember those days. 152 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,645 Lucky for you, I only have a little light duty for you. 153 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,311 Here you go. I want you to deliver this puppy for me. 154 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:29,844 Go on, get in. 155 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,322 All right. 156 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:34,453 Yeah, baby, eh? 157 00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:37,292 Now it's to go to Mr. Gary Martin. 158 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,127 All the info's on the waybill. 159 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:40,223 Who is this guy? 160 00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:43,099 Just another weak schmo who sold me his soul. 161 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,263 Yeah, the car's part of the bargain. 162 00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:48,000 And don't forget to get his signature before you give him the car. 163 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,371 Right right. 164 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,310 Does this car have... 165 00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,313 seat warmers? 166 00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,474 Oh, Samuel, do you realize 167 00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,746 that we are holding the keys to a piece of art? 168 00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:01,379 And art, my friend, is meant to be shown, 169 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,117 driven and made out in. 170 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:07,251 Hey, just the men I was looking for. 171 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:10,785 Baby Stevie! She's getting so big. 172 00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:13,264 Guys, I have a bunch of returns 173 00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,267 and I can't find the receipts. 174 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:17,166 Could you hook a demon brother up? 175 00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:18,761 Yeah yeah. What have we got? 176 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,670 - Baby-proofing supplies. - Tony, 177 00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:24,039 you aren't wearing any product in your hair. 178 00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:26,044 - Are you okay? - Yeah yeah, I'm fine. 179 00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:28,672 I just haven't been out of the house in days. 180 00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:31,114 I've been so busy. 181 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:34,813 And this little lady has been wearing me down. 182 00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:36,583 Why don't you get a sitter, 183 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,419 - let us take you out? - Yeah. 184 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,790 Oh, I don't know. I haven't done that yet. 185 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,658 No, you need some full-on grownup time. 186 00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:44,458 We will not take no for an answer, young man. 187 00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:47,125 You know what? Okay, fine. 188 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,793 But I am buying the first round. 189 00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:52,293 Yes, probably the second and the third too. 190 00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:53,896 All right, hey, thanks, guys. 191 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,204 - For everything. - You got it. 192 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:59,700 - Say bye-bye. - Bye, Stevie. 193 00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:01,372 Excuse me, everyone. 194 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:02,506 I have an announcement to make. 195 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:03,845 This should be stunning. 196 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,716 Just scoot in. Customers are allowed. 197 00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:09,448 Something special... 198 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,787 nay, transcendent... has happened to me. 199 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,485 And I just have to shout it to the world. 200 00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:16,495 Last night I, Ted Gallagher, 201 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,759 went on a date with a lovely angel named Linda, 202 00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:21,562 and she has agreed to marry me, so yeah! 203 00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:24,126 - Ted. - Yes, Andi. 204 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,001 Don't use the P.A. System. 205 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:33,205 Congratulations, Theodore. 206 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,646 Oh, that is big, seriously, huh? 207 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:40,311 You hear that, ladies? This guy's off the market, so hands off. 208 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,718 - You know what that mean? - What? 209 00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:44,222 We gotta throw this guy a bachelor party. 210 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:45,690 What? 211 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,818 Yeah, send you off in style. A little booze, 212 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,919 a couple of naked ladies... let's get weird. 213 00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:53,261 Yeah, I'd like that. Let's do that, Bert. Thank you. 214 00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:54,960 Sure thing, chum pally friend. 215 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,559 Okay. 216 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,570 Aww. 217 00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,196 You want to throw a party for Ted? 218 00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:02,571 - You hate Ted. - Like rainy days and Sundays. 219 00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,838 But I love bachelor parties. 220 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,845 And I'm about to throw a bachelor party 221 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,972 that's gonna slap all other bachelor parties in the face 222 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,949 with its private parts. 223 00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:27,688 This way, sir. 224 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,865 Mr. Oliver is here to see you, sir. 225 00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:39,139 What can I do you for? 226 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:41,544 I have your car. 227 00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:48,314 That's very exciting news. 228 00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:51,255 I just need you to sign this. 229 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:54,350 Let's have a look-see. 230 00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:56,588 Thank you, Benson. That will be all. 231 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,153 Thank you, sir. 232 00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:00,028 - Oh, and Benson, one more thing. - Yes, sir? 233 00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:02,791 Oh my God. 234 00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:04,826 It's a paintball gun. 235 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,771 Walk it off, Benson. You're supposed to be a gentleman's gentleman, 236 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,775 not a gentleman's wussy. 237 00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,777 It's a little game we play. He loves it. 238 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:15,338 Right, yeah. If you could just sign that... 239 00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:19,246 - I'm not signing this. - Why? 240 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,083 - It's the deal for my soul. - What? 241 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,089 And I don't like being tricked. 242 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:25,351 No, I'm sorry, I didn't... 243 00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,757 I honestly thought this was a delivery slip. 244 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,318 - I'd start running if I were you. - Running? Why? 245 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,490 I just called for Barry Manilow. 246 00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:35,694 Did the Devil give you Barry Manilow? 247 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,473 Oh, damn it! 248 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,174 Hey, numbnuts, 249 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,742 you dropped something. 250 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,220 You're lucky this is just a sprain, Mr. Oliver. 251 00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:05,594 You should have come to see me a day or two ago. 252 00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:07,599 Looks like it's been aggravated. 253 00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,225 Yeah. 254 00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:11,998 Well, take a rest for about a week, then come back to see me. 255 00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:14,006 Got it. Thank you. 256 00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,471 You are lucky you didn't break anything. 257 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:21,207 Has anyone ever told you you have the bone density of a canary? 258 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:23,579 I thought you said this was gonna be light duty. 259 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,379 Oh, the bear. 260 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,886 Yeah, I should have given you a little heads up on that. 261 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,286 I did give him the damn thing after all. 262 00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:32,517 - Mea culpa, Sam. - And why didn't you tell me 263 00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:34,685 I was actually gonna have this idiot sign his soul over? 264 00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:37,423 I was just trying to protect you from yourself. 265 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,624 The minute you saw what was on that paper 266 00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:42,190 you'd get all nervous and blow it. Ignorance is bliss. 267 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:44,566 - Well, I know now. - That changes nothing. 268 00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:48,095 I want that guy's John Hancock on that document. 269 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:51,974 I need the guarantee that only a signature can provide. 270 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:54,809 You know how verbal agreements hold up in court. 271 00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,610 They fold like a Dutch hooker. 272 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,844 He's no innocent. 273 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,250 That guy is a douchebag. 274 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,948 You saw how he lives. 275 00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:05,786 I won your soul. You have to live up to the bargain. 276 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,988 So why should that character just skate and live the high life? 277 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,327 Are you gonna beep at me? 278 00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:18,802 Whoa, take it easy. 279 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,136 This equipment's expensive. 280 00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:23,004 Nice robo-calves, by the way. 281 00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:24,703 You finally went to the doctor. 282 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,905 It got really screwed up after I was chased by a bear. 283 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:28,607 What? A bear? 284 00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:30,774 Yeah, one minute I'm dropping off a car for the Devil, 285 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,249 the next thing I know... a bear. 286 00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:33,911 It's not funny. 287 00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:36,080 - Come on. - All right, maybe it's a little funny. 288 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:37,646 I just wish I'd been there. 289 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:40,181 I really miss hanging with you guys. 290 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,693 I can't believe I'm about to say this, 291 00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:44,355 but I think I might prefer missions for the Devil 292 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:46,193 than this suck-ass management job. 293 00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,996 Well, we're about to go out in a little bit. You want to join? 294 00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:51,730 Who do I have to screw around here 295 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,706 to change out my register? 296 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,765 That's my life right now. 297 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,974 All right, next order of business... 298 00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:03,413 ah, entertainment. 299 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,576 Right, so I reached out to some folks 300 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,018 - at the clown college... - What? 301 00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,715 ...and they said that their first-year students can work for cheap 302 00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:12,553 and they're great at doing balloon animals. 303 00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:14,821 However, they're very limited in their unicycle skills. 304 00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,828 What are you talking about... clowns? 305 00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,295 It's a bachelor party, Ben. 306 00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,797 Well, the keyword there is "party," 307 00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,663 so when I think of party I think clowns. 308 00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:24,134 I disagree. The keyword there is "bachelor." 309 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,502 So go ahead and call the stripper college. 310 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,097 Sock, trust me... clowns. 311 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,370 Ben, trust me... strippers. 312 00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:34,045 Got it... stripper clowns. 313 00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:36,013 Oh! 314 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:38,642 I can't believe... oh my God! 315 00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,346 I can't believe we just had a genius idea at the same time. 316 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,719 That's like the Reese's Cup of party entertainment. 317 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,917 - Your peanut butter and my chocolate. - Swirling. 318 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,983 Oh, Ted Ted Ted, just the man we want to see. 319 00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:51,190 You're not gonna believe what we just invented for your bachelor party. 320 00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:53,596 Forget about it. The wedding's off. 321 00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:55,395 No no no. What did you do? 322 00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:58,562 Nothing. I went over to discuss flower arrangements 323 00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:01,732 and it seems my fianc�e had no idea that she was my fianc�e. 324 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:05,471 Apparently, she thought that my proposal was some kind of joke... 325 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:09,072 a sick, sarcastic, dark joke. 326 00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:13,073 You know what we're gonna do? We are still gonna have this party. 327 00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,881 No, I don't want to. I don't think it's right. 328 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,547 No, Ted, it's so right. 329 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,614 Okay, listen, it's a bachelor party, right? 330 00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:22,093 You are a bachelor. Hell, you are the bachelor, you know what I mean? 331 00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:24,027 You're probably gonna be single for the rest of your life. 332 00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:25,553 Probably. 333 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,225 Yeah, so let's celebrate that. 334 00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:28,961 The world is your oyster. 335 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:32,562 And a man with an oyster world deserves a party. 336 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,335 - You think so? - Oh, I know so. 337 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,842 - Now get away from me. - Okay. 338 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:41,404 I can't believe he almost ruined our party with his stupid wedding. 339 00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:42,812 Some people can be selfish. 340 00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:46,079 - Hey, are you two on break? - Always. 341 00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:48,518 How do you guys feel about doing some undercover work? 342 00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:55,816 I don't remember ordering 1200 lbs of bear kibble. 343 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:59,592 Listen, sir, we just deliver the stuff, all right? 344 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,662 I don't know why I'm doing this. 345 00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:05,727 I like to keep my bear hungry. 346 00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:07,432 You guys know what I'm saying. 347 00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,441 Thank you. Yo. 348 00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:13,175 Ah! Ow! 349 00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:14,679 I got you, Gary. 350 00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:17,238 That form you signed... the last page was your contract. 351 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,080 You thought you could screw me over, 352 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:20,915 take all this stuff and get away with it? 353 00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:23,319 I do. And I did. 354 00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:26,347 "Jim Fartington"? 355 00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:28,792 It's called an alias. Whassup? 356 00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:32,319 You know what? I don't need your stupid signature, okay? 357 00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:34,161 Look at the way you're living your life. 358 00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:35,826 Right now at this very moment 359 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,699 you're committing about a million sins... 360 00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:41,832 greed, gluttony, sloth, pride... 361 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:43,535 - Littering. - Yeah. 362 00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:46,442 You're a terrible person and you're gonna end up in hell when you die. 363 00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:49,675 No, I'm not, 'cause I got it all worked out. 364 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,684 I can get all this neat crap without signing. 365 00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,482 I live it up and then on my deathbed 366 00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:58,183 at the 11th hour I repent. 367 00:15:58,223 --> 00:16:00,623 You can't just repent. 368 00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:02,286 Can you? 369 00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:04,023 That's what religion's all about, bro... 370 00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:06,896 the whole " I'm sorry. My bad, God." 371 00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:09,298 He'd look like a total jerk if he shut me out. 372 00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,394 Oh, that's brilliant in its simplicity. 373 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,735 Thanks. Now get the hell out of here 374 00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:16,764 before I bust out my bear. He's hungry 375 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,175 - and horny. - Go! 376 00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:37,756 What? 377 00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:39,991 Who ate all the cereal? 378 00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:42,193 Guilty. 379 00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:43,565 Yeah, I can see that. 380 00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:47,834 Listen, Morgan, there are rules in this society, okay? 381 00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:50,341 And rule number six is I like to enjoy a bowl of cereal 382 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,537 while I catch up on my soaps during the din-din hour. 383 00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:54,341 Everybody knows that, okay? 384 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,974 We'll let it slide, though, 'cause you're a good guy. 385 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,711 Ever watch "One Life to Live"? 386 00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,378 Can't say that I have. 387 00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:02,216 Oh, brother, you're in for a treat, man. 388 00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,154 If you're gonna waste your life sitting on a sofa 389 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,680 you might as well do a little "OLTL," you know what I mean? 390 00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:09,523 It's crazy train. 391 00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:12,462 That's weird. I had a whole week's worth of episodes saved on here. 392 00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:14,557 Oh, I erased them. 393 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,125 ESPN Classic was running a marathon on the America's Cup, man. 394 00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,137 I had to capture the memories. 395 00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:22,368 Morgan, you do not touch another man's DVR. 396 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:23,898 You might as well hump my grandma. 397 00:17:23,942 --> 00:17:25,967 Whoa, easy, guy. It's just a soap opera. 398 00:17:26,011 --> 00:17:27,137 You shut your mouth. 399 00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:29,704 Hey, whoa, everything okay? 400 00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:31,443 No, Morgan erased my stories. 401 00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:34,247 - What? - Whatever. 402 00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:36,220 Cute running suit. 403 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,382 - Thank you. - Thanks. 404 00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,550 I was talking to Nina. 405 00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:41,456 No, seriously, 406 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:42,983 you look hot. 407 00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:47,089 Thanks, Morgan. Thank you. 408 00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,100 - You okay? - Hmm? 409 00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:51,364 - Huh? - Yeah, I'm fine. 410 00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:54,695 I'm gonna take a shower. 411 00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:58,499 That's not cool, Morgan. 412 00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:00,307 You do not hit on Nina. I love that girl. 413 00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:02,245 Hey, man, listen. 414 00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:04,078 I may not live by a lot of rules, 415 00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:06,084 but if there's one that I stick to, 416 00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:08,552 it's bros before hos. All right, man? 417 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:11,078 I would never do anything to get in between you and Nina. 418 00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:12,784 All right. 419 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,793 Okay, look, come on, Benji, 420 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,590 I'll let you make me a sandwich. Let's go. 421 00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:18,459 Just like the way you like to. 422 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:47,158 Sorry. 423 00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,990 The door was open. 424 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:57,464 It's all right. Accidents happen, right? 425 00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:12,083 Okay okay, did she cry and then spit up, 426 00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,085 or did she spit up and cry? 427 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:17,088 What does the spit smell like? 428 00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:21,152 All right, you know what? 429 00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,753 If she does it again, just take a whiff and call me back. 430 00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:25,854 All right, bye. 431 00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:28,492 - Sorry sorry. - Is the baby okay? 432 00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:31,401 That was, like, your fifth call to check in. 433 00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:34,530 She's fine. I'm just being a stereotypical nervous parent. 434 00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:37,633 So what have you guys been up to? 435 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:38,904 How are things? 436 00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:40,912 Well, not super. 437 00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:43,710 We need to get this guy for the Devil, but he keeps giving us the slip. 438 00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:46,912 Oh, so what was his sin before he died? 439 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,010 He hasn't died yet. 440 00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:50,021 Wait, he's still alive? 441 00:19:50,055 --> 00:19:52,046 - Yeah. - He's sold his soul to the Devil. 442 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:53,717 I gotta get him to sign his paperwork. 443 00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:56,626 No no no, Sam, you can't do this. 444 00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:59,563 No, I can't, and I want to. You don't know this guy. 445 00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:03,261 Sam, sending escaped souls back to hell... that is one thing, 446 00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:04,929 but you don't want to be the one 447 00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:07,564 damning a mortal for an eternity of torment. 448 00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:10,040 That's crossing a line that you just don't want to cross. 449 00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:11,906 That is pure evil. 450 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:15,209 You would be no different than the Devil himself. 451 00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:17,841 Oh, okay, now in all fairness to Samuel here 452 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,647 - the guy is an enormous dick. - Yeah. 453 00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:22,950 No, he's right. You're right. 454 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,580 Thank you. 455 00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:27,251 I guess I just got used to putting my head down and doing the job. 456 00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:28,725 I lost sight of the big picture. 457 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,455 Well, that's why I'm here. 458 00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:32,224 And I have to go. 459 00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:35,825 Oh my God, you are so baby-whipped. 460 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:38,131 No, actually I have some friends coming over. 461 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:41,867 You know what? Why don't you guys join me? 462 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,602 I think you can get a lot out of it. 463 00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:45,769 Sounds good. Let's go. 464 00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:52,083 Is that "Jessie's Girl"? 465 00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:54,176 That's my jam. 466 00:20:54,219 --> 00:20:56,187 Wait until you see what we've done. 467 00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:08,325 And now a reading 468 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:10,494 from one of Steve's favorite works... 469 00:21:10,535 --> 00:21:12,002 "The Between Boyfriends Book." 470 00:21:12,037 --> 00:21:14,562 Don't you love it... all Steve all the time? 471 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,574 Yeah. 472 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,303 What is all this? 473 00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:21,210 Well, these chosen few are what's left 474 00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:24,181 of our failed rebellion against Satan. 475 00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:27,947 But we're all on the path of Steve now. 476 00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:29,920 You see, Sam, 477 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:33,482 Steve was a demon who ascended to heaven. 478 00:21:33,525 --> 00:21:36,892 That means that God is willing to forgive a multitude of sins 479 00:21:36,928 --> 00:21:39,362 and that there's a chance for all of us. 480 00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:42,799 See, through him... through Steve we've learned 481 00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:46,235 that we can regain the right to enter heaven again. 482 00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:49,834 We're living his way, 483 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:53,106 earning our wings one good deed at a time. 484 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,375 Steventology... nice. 485 00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:59,009 Sam, if you ever feel like you're slipping in your fight against Satan, 486 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:02,179 please use us as a refuge. 487 00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:04,518 We're here for you, Sam. 488 00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:06,683 Thank you. 489 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:08,693 Goose p�t�, anyone? 490 00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:10,695 Nina? 491 00:22:10,729 --> 00:22:12,697 Ben. 492 00:22:12,731 --> 00:22:16,428 Hey, what are you doing here? 493 00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:19,699 I thought you were gonna be out drinking too much. 494 00:22:25,877 --> 00:22:27,708 What are you doing here? 495 00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:30,237 Following the path of Steve. 496 00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:32,341 What other secrets are you hiding from me? 497 00:22:32,384 --> 00:22:33,908 None, babe, I swear. 498 00:22:33,952 --> 00:22:36,182 I just didn't know how to explain this one to you. 499 00:22:36,221 --> 00:22:39,019 I mean, let's face it, you can be a little bit judgy at times. 500 00:22:39,057 --> 00:22:41,116 I'm sick of you hiding stuff from me. 501 00:22:41,159 --> 00:22:43,593 You should be happy about this. I'm doing it for you. 502 00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:45,425 How's that? 503 00:22:45,464 --> 00:22:50,026 You make me want to be a better demon. 504 00:23:00,145 --> 00:23:01,942 Just no more secrets, okay? 505 00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:03,948 No, no more secrets... 506 00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:06,007 Steve's honor. 507 00:23:10,856 --> 00:23:12,414 Hey, you. How's it going? 508 00:23:12,457 --> 00:23:14,152 Honestly, not great. 509 00:23:14,192 --> 00:23:16,956 - I have 220 HR forms to fill out... - Right. 510 00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:19,122 ...and then I still have to correct an inventory... 511 00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:21,359 Right right right, yeah. Your life's in the crapper. 512 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,459 Listen, I needs me a little favor, okay? 513 00:23:23,502 --> 00:23:27,529 As you may know, I've been planning a bachelor party for Ted, 514 00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:30,905 and in the midst of planning we may have hit one or two budget restraints. 515 00:23:30,942 --> 00:23:32,773 Yeah, I'm not giving you any money. 516 00:23:32,811 --> 00:23:35,575 Whoa, Andi, please. I don't want your money. 517 00:23:35,614 --> 00:23:39,015 What I want is the Work Bench for one night, please. 518 00:23:41,052 --> 00:23:42,883 - Absolutely not. - Why not? 519 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:45,355 Because it totally goes against company policy 520 00:23:45,390 --> 00:23:47,255 and it violates about a bajillion codes. 521 00:23:47,292 --> 00:23:49,123 Codes, policy... 522 00:23:49,161 --> 00:23:51,026 Come here. I want to show you something. 523 00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:53,963 You see that big bag of sadness standing right there? 524 00:23:53,999 --> 00:23:55,489 That's what this party is about. 525 00:23:55,534 --> 00:23:58,799 He's dead on the inside. 526 00:23:58,837 --> 00:24:00,634 Sorry. No party. 527 00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:02,401 Oh, wow, wowy. 528 00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:05,001 The conversion is complete, huh? 529 00:24:05,043 --> 00:24:07,568 All hail Andi Palpatene, the Dark Lord of the Work Bench. 530 00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:10,080 - I guess people were right about you. - What does that mean? 531 00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:12,174 Nothing. I just don't think people really like 532 00:24:12,217 --> 00:24:13,809 this new Andi thing you've become. 533 00:24:13,852 --> 00:24:15,820 Oh, that's crap. 534 00:24:15,854 --> 00:24:18,846 You know, people like me. 535 00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:21,723 Oh, they do, huh? Okay, tell me this, smarty pants... 536 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:25,161 where were you last week when the entire paint department went go-karting? 537 00:24:25,197 --> 00:24:27,097 I didn't know that they went. 538 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:28,997 Exactly, because no one told you 539 00:24:29,034 --> 00:24:32,629 because nobody likes you, boss lady. 540 00:24:35,707 --> 00:24:38,733 Okay. 541 00:24:38,777 --> 00:24:41,905 Okay, throw your party. 542 00:24:41,947 --> 00:24:43,915 Yes! Hot dog! 543 00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:45,473 Oh, Andi, I know you'd come through. 544 00:24:45,517 --> 00:24:47,485 You are gonna become a legend for this... 545 00:24:47,519 --> 00:24:49,248 a legend. 546 00:25:00,899 --> 00:25:04,300 Ladies, we have discovered the fountain of youth. 547 00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:07,328 Right here in this little vial... 548 00:25:07,372 --> 00:25:10,864 a purified protein that relaxes the muscles, 549 00:25:10,909 --> 00:25:14,709 smoothes the skin, eliminates the wrinkles. 550 00:25:14,746 --> 00:25:17,214 Who would like to go first? 551 00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:18,682 - Phyllis? - Yeah. 552 00:25:35,066 --> 00:25:38,035 We'll continue on with the rest of you after I grab a quick snack. 553 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,669 Well, that was gross. 554 00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:44,800 Vanity is one of my favorites. 555 00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:46,811 Look how happy I make them, Sammy, 556 00:25:46,845 --> 00:25:48,710 injecting them with botulism. 557 00:25:48,747 --> 00:25:50,977 You got some pretty nasty crow's feet. Want me to pump you up? 558 00:25:51,016 --> 00:25:53,416 No, I'm good. Thank you. 559 00:25:53,451 --> 00:25:56,045 Hey, did you get Gary to sign? 560 00:25:56,087 --> 00:25:57,884 No, and I'm never going to. 561 00:25:57,923 --> 00:26:00,357 It's not my job to acquire souls. And I don't appreciate 562 00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:01,950 you setting me up to cross that line. 563 00:26:01,993 --> 00:26:05,121 Hey, you can't blame me for trying. 564 00:26:05,163 --> 00:26:07,222 Still, you know, that Gary really chaps my ass. 565 00:26:07,265 --> 00:26:09,961 I rarely ever do verbal agreements. 566 00:26:10,001 --> 00:26:12,799 And I just assumed you'd be able to close the deal on him. 567 00:26:12,837 --> 00:26:14,737 I think he's a lost cause. 568 00:26:14,773 --> 00:26:17,037 He has a plan to repent in the 11th hour. 569 00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:20,408 Oh, that old little 11th-hour chestnut, huh? 570 00:26:20,445 --> 00:26:23,243 I love that one... God's perfect loophole. 571 00:26:23,281 --> 00:26:24,543 Does that work? 572 00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:26,574 Not if I get him in the 10th hour. 573 00:26:28,620 --> 00:26:30,986 I guess maybe I'll just reel him in right now, 574 00:26:31,022 --> 00:26:33,217 while he's still running around sinning 575 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,055 like a nun at Mardi Gras, 576 00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:36,890 before he even thinks of repenting. 577 00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:39,795 Wait. Hold on. You can't just kill him, can you? 578 00:26:39,831 --> 00:26:42,129 I don't need to kill him myself. 579 00:26:42,167 --> 00:26:44,135 I know it may be hard to believe, 580 00:26:44,169 --> 00:26:47,104 but I hang with a pretty rough crowd. 581 00:26:47,138 --> 00:26:49,766 You know, I got a guy who literally kills for Madonna tickets. 582 00:26:49,808 --> 00:26:51,400 All right. 583 00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:54,435 Thanks for the info, though. Nice job, buddy. 584 00:26:54,479 --> 00:26:56,447 And don't you worry about Gary. 585 00:26:56,481 --> 00:26:58,847 I'll take care of him. 586 00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:07,456 Okay, on the one hand, Gary is a turd. 587 00:27:07,492 --> 00:27:09,756 Mm-hmm, if it's brown, flush her down. 588 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:11,853 But if I don't warn him, the Devil's gonna have him killed. 589 00:27:11,896 --> 00:27:13,488 That makes me responsible. 590 00:27:13,531 --> 00:27:15,089 I'd be an accomplice to his murder. 591 00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:17,158 That's a lot for one man's conscience. 592 00:27:17,202 --> 00:27:19,102 Why are we even doing this dance? We all know 593 00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:21,128 you're not gonna sit back and watch this guy get killed. 594 00:27:21,172 --> 00:27:23,140 - It's not the game you play. - He's right. 595 00:27:23,174 --> 00:27:26,268 So I guess I'll just, what, tell him that the Devil's putting a hit on him? 596 00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:27,608 Exactly. Sounds good to me. 597 00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:29,443 Now since we're already having a house meeting, 598 00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:31,142 we need to talk about your brother. 599 00:27:31,182 --> 00:27:33,912 - Morgan's gotta go. - Why? You guys love him. 600 00:27:33,952 --> 00:27:36,648 Well, we did love him until he ate everything in the house 601 00:27:36,688 --> 00:27:38,315 and erased "One Life to Live." 602 00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:40,790 Seriously? I was, like, five episodes behind. 603 00:27:40,825 --> 00:27:43,020 And I think he's gonna make a move on Nina. 604 00:27:43,061 --> 00:27:44,995 She's a decent lady, Sam, 605 00:27:45,030 --> 00:27:46,998 but she has her weaknesses. 606 00:27:47,032 --> 00:27:48,624 And it's only a matter of time 607 00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:51,135 before she falls for those glorious pecs and glistening abs. 608 00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:53,797 You need to nudge that little birdie out of the nest. 609 00:27:59,944 --> 00:28:01,912 Hey, Morgan. 610 00:28:01,946 --> 00:28:06,212 Uh, we need to talk. 611 00:28:06,251 --> 00:28:08,446 You're kicking me out, right? 612 00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:11,921 I was listening in to your little meeting. 613 00:28:11,956 --> 00:28:13,890 You really think I got a shot with Nina? 614 00:28:13,925 --> 00:28:17,053 Come on, forget Nina. Do you have any idea how lucky you are? 615 00:28:17,095 --> 00:28:19,393 You are free of the Devil. You can do anything you want. 616 00:28:19,431 --> 00:28:21,160 Yeah, what's that? 617 00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:23,827 That's something you gotta figure out for yourself. 618 00:28:23,868 --> 00:28:25,836 Come on, that's what life's all about... 619 00:28:25,870 --> 00:28:28,338 finding something you want and going out and getting it. 620 00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:31,672 The important part is going out. 621 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:33,507 How am I gonna do that? 622 00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:35,513 Look at me. I'm useless without Dad's backing. 623 00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:37,310 Come on, that's ridiculous. 624 00:28:37,348 --> 00:28:39,282 You can do it because you're Morgan. 625 00:28:39,317 --> 00:28:42,013 You get stuff done. You got focus, 626 00:28:42,053 --> 00:28:43,680 charm, good looks, 627 00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:46,282 a massive massive ego. 628 00:28:46,324 --> 00:28:49,293 You just gotta find yourself a goal, 629 00:28:49,327 --> 00:28:51,192 something to reach for. 630 00:28:51,229 --> 00:28:53,094 Easy for you to say, Sam. 631 00:28:53,131 --> 00:28:56,032 You got everything you want. Hell, man, you have everything I want. 632 00:28:56,067 --> 00:28:58,035 And if I could, I'd give it to you. 633 00:28:58,069 --> 00:29:01,368 Look, Morgan, I gotta go. 634 00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:03,374 Find yourself a goal, 635 00:29:03,408 --> 00:29:05,501 'cause you gotta get out of here. 636 00:29:22,694 --> 00:29:24,218 Enough already. 637 00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:26,526 The cat-and-mouse stuff was fun, but I'm tired of it. 638 00:29:26,564 --> 00:29:29,431 Now leave before I send 1,000 volts from your eyeballs to your a-hole. 639 00:29:29,467 --> 00:29:32,630 Listen listen, I came to warn you... 640 00:29:32,670 --> 00:29:34,501 the Devil's not gonna give up on your soul. 641 00:29:34,539 --> 00:29:36,336 He knows about your 11th-hour plan 642 00:29:36,374 --> 00:29:39,810 and he's putting a hit out on you right now. 643 00:29:39,844 --> 00:29:41,812 Oh, crap. Oh, crap. 644 00:29:41,846 --> 00:29:43,973 Yeah, you'd better do your repenting thing now. 645 00:29:44,015 --> 00:29:45,414 I mean it. You might not have a lot of time. 646 00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:47,941 About that... how exactly does one repent? 647 00:29:47,986 --> 00:29:50,819 - You don't know? - Not really. 648 00:29:50,855 --> 00:29:53,756 That was your whole thing... repent in the 11th hour. 649 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:56,283 That's when I thought the 11th hour was decades away. 650 00:29:56,327 --> 00:29:59,023 I figured I'd join a class or take up Bible study. 651 00:30:01,699 --> 00:30:03,690 I may know somebody who could help. 652 00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:15,112 Cheer up, sad clown. 653 00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:17,512 This forecast calls for rain. 654 00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:23,544 Hi. 655 00:30:23,588 --> 00:30:26,489 You are a beautiful clown. 656 00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:29,220 Oh, look at that. Oh my gosh. 657 00:30:29,260 --> 00:30:31,694 Could you? 658 00:30:31,729 --> 00:30:34,289 Oh, what did you want? 659 00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:35,526 A doggie. 660 00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:56,885 - Nice balloon dog. - What are you doing here? 661 00:30:56,921 --> 00:30:59,890 Well, the new Andi is here to make sure you don't burn the place down. 662 00:30:59,924 --> 00:31:01,152 Oh, I'm sure she is. 663 00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:04,059 The old Andi is here to laugh at stuff like that. 664 00:31:04,095 --> 00:31:06,063 Chug chug chug chug! 665 00:31:06,097 --> 00:31:07,724 Chug chug chug chug! 666 00:31:07,765 --> 00:31:11,496 Time of my life! I love it! 667 00:31:16,774 --> 00:31:19,299 Guys, this is the best time ever. 668 00:31:19,344 --> 00:31:21,778 Ted, I love you. You're never gonna see something like that again. 669 00:31:21,813 --> 00:31:23,781 That is once-in-a-lifetime event right there. 670 00:31:23,815 --> 00:31:25,749 Andi, a boilermaker. Let's go. 671 00:31:25,783 --> 00:31:28,513 - No no no. - Do it for the old Andi. Come on. 672 00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:32,353 - Yeah, drop it in there. - You know what? Screw it. 673 00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:34,381 - Let's do it. - Chug chug chug! 674 00:31:34,425 --> 00:31:36,723 Chug chug chug chug chug! 675 00:31:36,761 --> 00:31:38,558 Chug chug chug chug! 676 00:31:38,596 --> 00:31:40,564 Hey, wrong party, guy. 677 00:31:40,598 --> 00:31:42,361 We didn't order any office paper, sorry. 678 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,597 We're from the home office. Who's in charge here? 679 00:31:45,637 --> 00:31:47,502 Whoo! 680 00:31:47,538 --> 00:31:52,134 I am the master! 681 00:31:53,811 --> 00:31:55,779 Hi. 682 00:31:55,813 --> 00:31:58,407 Welcome to the Work Bench. Can I help you? 683 00:31:58,449 --> 00:32:00,781 We received a call tonight about a party here 684 00:32:00,818 --> 00:32:03,082 - from Mr. Ted Gallagher. - Ted? 685 00:32:03,121 --> 00:32:05,316 Whoo! 686 00:32:07,058 --> 00:32:10,391 Hey, guys. Thanks for coming. 687 00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:12,896 Ted, why, after all the stuff we did for you...? 688 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:14,990 And I appreciate it. This is the nicest thing 689 00:32:15,033 --> 00:32:17,126 that anyone's ever done for me. But rules are rules. 690 00:32:17,168 --> 00:32:19,796 And this tiger doesn't change his stripes for nobody. 691 00:32:19,837 --> 00:32:23,238 Miss Prendergast, can we speak to you for a moment? 692 00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:28,945 Aww. 693 00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:32,074 It's a shame... such wasted talent. 694 00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:33,606 - Run. - Sorry? 695 00:32:33,651 --> 00:32:35,016 Run, Ted! 696 00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:49,433 Where is everybody? 697 00:32:49,467 --> 00:32:52,300 The boys went to a bachelor party. 698 00:32:52,337 --> 00:32:56,706 Why would Ben leave you behind for a bachelor party? 699 00:32:56,741 --> 00:32:59,403 It's okay. I trust Ben. 700 00:32:59,444 --> 00:33:01,674 He's a good guy, 701 00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:04,341 not like you. 702 00:33:04,382 --> 00:33:06,714 You're a bad boy, aren't you? 703 00:33:06,751 --> 00:33:08,719 You have no idea. 704 00:33:08,753 --> 00:33:10,482 I think I can imagine. 705 00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:18,152 I've always wanted to be with a demon. 706 00:33:18,196 --> 00:33:20,687 I shouldn't. 707 00:33:20,732 --> 00:33:22,723 Why not? 708 00:33:25,303 --> 00:33:29,797 I'm trying to break this cycle that I'm in 709 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:33,709 of going after evil guys like you. 710 00:33:33,745 --> 00:33:36,111 Yeah, but I'm not even really a bad boy. 711 00:33:36,147 --> 00:33:37,580 You said you were. 712 00:33:37,615 --> 00:33:38,946 That was just to get you in bed. 713 00:33:38,983 --> 00:33:41,383 I don't know. 714 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,613 What do I have to do to prove it to you? 715 00:33:44,655 --> 00:33:47,920 You could... 716 00:33:47,959 --> 00:33:50,860 go to my prayer meeting with me tonight. 717 00:33:50,895 --> 00:33:53,090 Religion. 718 00:33:53,131 --> 00:33:56,032 Sounds kinky. 719 00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:58,058 I'll go get my coat. 720 00:34:03,841 --> 00:34:05,638 So you see, praying's great... 721 00:34:05,676 --> 00:34:07,473 it never hurts to communicate... 722 00:34:07,512 --> 00:34:10,413 but if you want to get into heaven, it's about more than words. 723 00:34:10,448 --> 00:34:12,416 It's about the path of Steve. 724 00:34:12,450 --> 00:34:15,613 And that path is paved through action, Gary... 725 00:34:15,653 --> 00:34:17,883 good deeds. 726 00:34:17,922 --> 00:34:19,890 I see. 727 00:34:19,924 --> 00:34:22,222 Wow. 728 00:34:23,928 --> 00:34:26,761 That is the dumbest load of crap that I've ever heard. 729 00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:30,097 The path of Steve? Good Lord. 730 00:34:30,134 --> 00:34:31,965 Tony's right, Gary. 731 00:34:32,003 --> 00:34:34,494 There's still hope. There's time to seek redemption. 732 00:34:34,539 --> 00:34:36,063 Listen to Tony. 733 00:34:36,107 --> 00:34:37,665 How are you guys doing that? 734 00:34:37,708 --> 00:34:39,801 - Doing what? - That. 735 00:34:43,481 --> 00:34:45,039 What are you talking about? 736 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:47,176 The guy on the TV... he's talking to me. 737 00:34:47,218 --> 00:34:48,913 They can't see me, Gary. 738 00:34:48,953 --> 00:34:50,921 This isn't funny. Don't mock us. 739 00:34:50,955 --> 00:34:52,923 I know how to make him believe you. 740 00:34:52,957 --> 00:34:54,584 Kiss him. It's okay. Go ahead. 741 00:34:54,625 --> 00:34:57,423 But when you do, make sure you give him one of these. 742 00:34:57,462 --> 00:34:59,953 He's telling me to do this. 743 00:34:59,997 --> 00:35:01,225 What? 744 00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:02,357 Oh. 745 00:35:06,471 --> 00:35:08,769 Well, he's definitely getting pointers from Steve. 746 00:35:08,806 --> 00:35:10,330 You can tell by that? 747 00:35:10,374 --> 00:35:12,740 Well, he did the double butt grab. 748 00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:16,213 That's Steve's signature move. 749 00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:20,007 What does Steve want? 750 00:35:20,051 --> 00:35:23,111 - I need you to warn Sam. - He's telling me to warn you. 751 00:35:23,154 --> 00:35:24,951 Warn me about what? 752 00:35:24,989 --> 00:35:28,186 Probably me. 753 00:35:28,226 --> 00:35:29,853 Morgan? 754 00:35:29,894 --> 00:35:32,192 You should be really proud of yourself, Sam. 755 00:35:32,230 --> 00:35:33,925 You gave me some good advice. 756 00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:36,525 I have a goal now. Oh, not to mention, 757 00:35:36,567 --> 00:35:38,660 I've found my killer instinct. 758 00:35:38,703 --> 00:35:39,829 Where did you get a gun? 759 00:35:39,871 --> 00:35:41,668 Oh, I'm always strapped, honey. 760 00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:44,072 - Morgan, what are you doing? - I'm taking your advice. 761 00:35:44,108 --> 00:35:46,872 I'm taking charge. I want to be back on Dad's good side, 762 00:35:46,911 --> 00:35:49,004 and I'm gonna do that by getting rid of you. 763 00:35:49,046 --> 00:35:52,015 Then I'm gonna turn in these traitors and be rewarded. 764 00:35:53,618 --> 00:35:55,210 Thanks for the pep talk. 765 00:36:09,100 --> 00:36:11,068 Oh, that's unfortunate. 766 00:36:11,102 --> 00:36:13,127 I just had these carpets cleaned. 767 00:36:20,778 --> 00:36:22,575 Just watch the doorway. 768 00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:24,638 Great. 769 00:36:25,716 --> 00:36:28,082 I got the door open. All right. 770 00:36:28,119 --> 00:36:31,520 Heavy, huh? Thank you. 771 00:36:31,556 --> 00:36:34,389 - Sorry about the mess. - Eh, what are you gonna do? 772 00:36:34,425 --> 00:36:36,120 I can't believe that just happened. 773 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:37,718 I can't believe you killed Morgan. 774 00:36:37,762 --> 00:36:40,196 We had to do it, Sam. We're required 775 00:36:40,231 --> 00:36:43,462 to hunt the Devil's offspring and destroy them 776 00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:45,469 in order to prevent Armageddon. 777 00:36:45,503 --> 00:36:47,801 Sorry, I just couldn't tell anyone. 778 00:36:47,838 --> 00:36:49,931 Yeah, but what about me? I'm the son of the Devil. 779 00:36:49,974 --> 00:36:52,272 You're different. 780 00:36:52,310 --> 00:36:53,641 You have your own destiny. 781 00:36:53,678 --> 00:36:55,202 Steve told me that too. 782 00:36:55,246 --> 00:36:56,770 How am I different? What else did he say? 783 00:36:56,814 --> 00:36:59,282 Nothing. Everything. 784 00:36:59,317 --> 00:37:01,285 I can't explain. 785 00:37:01,319 --> 00:37:03,287 I heard his thoughts. I felt his presence. 786 00:37:03,321 --> 00:37:05,721 I've never experienced anything like that before. 787 00:37:05,756 --> 00:37:07,883 I have to go. 788 00:37:07,925 --> 00:37:09,893 I have to give it all away. 789 00:37:09,927 --> 00:37:12,987 Give what away? 790 00:37:13,030 --> 00:37:14,998 I'm shedding all my material possessions 791 00:37:15,032 --> 00:37:17,830 and helping those who need it. 792 00:37:17,868 --> 00:37:19,995 And don't worry, I won't tell anyone 793 00:37:20,037 --> 00:37:22,232 about the murder that occurred here tonight. 794 00:37:37,955 --> 00:37:39,616 Well, look who's together. 795 00:37:39,657 --> 00:37:42,148 Ben, come on. It's not like that. 796 00:37:42,193 --> 00:37:43,990 I know. 797 00:37:44,028 --> 00:37:45,859 I trust you. You're not like Morgan. 798 00:37:47,498 --> 00:37:50,831 Nina, I don't know what I'd do if you were with that guy. 799 00:37:53,571 --> 00:37:55,300 Oh, no. 800 00:37:55,339 --> 00:37:57,830 What did you do? And I want the truth. 801 00:37:57,875 --> 00:38:02,676 I'm gonna go get something to eat. 802 00:38:14,925 --> 00:38:18,452 I sort of acted 803 00:38:18,496 --> 00:38:20,487 like I would have sex with Morgan 804 00:38:20,531 --> 00:38:22,226 so he would come with me to Tony's house 805 00:38:22,266 --> 00:38:24,029 so I could kill him. 806 00:38:24,068 --> 00:38:26,400 I'm still assigned 807 00:38:26,437 --> 00:38:28,871 to kill the offspring of the Devil, 808 00:38:28,906 --> 00:38:31,272 like I tried to do with Sam. 809 00:38:33,210 --> 00:38:35,838 So all the flirting... 810 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:37,404 Was just me setting a trap. 811 00:38:37,448 --> 00:38:40,042 You're a demon assassin. 812 00:38:43,954 --> 00:38:45,819 You're just a demon assassin... 813 00:38:45,856 --> 00:38:48,552 a faithful, not-cheating-on-me assassin. 814 00:38:48,592 --> 00:38:50,617 Give me some sugar, baby. 815 00:38:57,234 --> 00:38:59,327 Don't mind me. 816 00:38:59,370 --> 00:39:01,600 I'm just looking for this right here. 817 00:39:01,639 --> 00:39:05,200 Sock, did you bring home a stripper clown? 818 00:39:06,243 --> 00:39:08,108 Oh, Socky, 819 00:39:08,145 --> 00:39:11,080 let's try it again with the nose on. 820 00:39:27,832 --> 00:39:29,993 Where is our lovely host? 821 00:39:31,936 --> 00:39:33,267 Oh, young lady, 822 00:39:33,304 --> 00:39:35,101 could you get your mother Phyllis for me? 823 00:39:35,139 --> 00:39:37,130 Oh, you. 824 00:39:37,174 --> 00:39:40,974 What could I possibly do to improve on this look? 825 00:39:41,011 --> 00:39:42,478 Bigger lips. 826 00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:48,375 Oh, yeah, a bit flat. 827 00:39:52,356 --> 00:39:55,553 Here, take this. 828 00:39:55,593 --> 00:39:58,585 Why don't you practice on each other? 829 00:40:00,231 --> 00:40:02,199 What gives, Sammy? 830 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,565 It seems that Gary has turned down my deal 831 00:40:04,602 --> 00:40:07,935 and he's driving his bear to the Shambala Wildlife Preserve tonight. 832 00:40:07,972 --> 00:40:09,997 - Really? - He's planning to help Tippi Hedren 833 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:11,667 care for her wild animals. 834 00:40:11,709 --> 00:40:13,108 Good for him. 835 00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:14,634 Don't be coy with me. 836 00:40:14,678 --> 00:40:17,272 I think you know something about this. 837 00:40:17,314 --> 00:40:18,781 I had to call off his hit 838 00:40:18,816 --> 00:40:20,841 when he took the martyred highway straight to heaven. 839 00:40:20,885 --> 00:40:23,752 I'm sorry. I couldn't stand by and let someone die. 840 00:40:23,788 --> 00:40:27,280 Oh, you mean like watching as a man... 841 00:40:27,324 --> 00:40:30,487 a brother... is ripped apart by demons? 842 00:40:30,528 --> 00:40:32,496 You know anything about that? 843 00:40:32,530 --> 00:40:34,395 I didn't do it. 844 00:40:38,669 --> 00:40:40,864 Fratricide, Sammy? 845 00:40:40,905 --> 00:40:43,135 You constantly amaze me, man. 846 00:40:43,174 --> 00:40:46,166 Morgan is being tortured in hell right now. 847 00:40:46,210 --> 00:40:48,371 He keeps calling out your name. 848 00:40:51,081 --> 00:40:53,049 I just hope old Morgan doesn't figure out a way 849 00:40:53,083 --> 00:40:54,812 to escape from hell, for your sake. 850 00:40:54,852 --> 00:40:57,013 I don't think he's your biggest fan right now. 851 00:40:57,054 --> 00:41:00,319 Well, where were we, ladies? 852 00:41:02,726 --> 00:41:04,523 Jeez. Good one. 853 00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:07,360 Oh my God, that was a solid double. 854 00:41:07,398 --> 00:41:09,298 Thank you. I'm a little wet. 855 00:41:09,333 --> 00:41:11,665 Okay, so let me get this straight... 856 00:41:11,702 --> 00:41:15,160 Steve possessed this guy and then he told you 857 00:41:15,206 --> 00:41:17,401 that you're different than the other sons of the Devil? 858 00:41:17,441 --> 00:41:20,410 He wasn't possessed. He was speaking to him on the karaoke DVD. 859 00:41:20,444 --> 00:41:22,241 That makes much more sense. 860 00:41:22,279 --> 00:41:23,303 Right right. 861 00:41:23,347 --> 00:41:24,974 Well, different is good, right? 862 00:41:25,015 --> 00:41:26,676 Different is definitely good. 863 00:41:26,717 --> 00:41:28,844 All right. 864 00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:33,218 So you got demoted, huh? 865 00:41:33,257 --> 00:41:35,521 Yeah, I'm not even allowed to work the registers. 866 00:41:35,559 --> 00:41:37,254 I can't believe that. 867 00:41:37,294 --> 00:41:40,024 It's okay, actually. I was sick of all the stress. 868 00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:44,832 And now I have more time to do other stuff, like this. 869 00:41:48,539 --> 00:41:50,598 I missed this. 870 00:41:50,641 --> 00:41:52,609 Me too. 871 00:41:52,643 --> 00:41:55,203 Things almost feel like they're back to normal. 872 00:41:55,246 --> 00:41:57,271 I know. 873 00:41:58,883 --> 00:42:00,714 It's close enough for now, huh? 874 00:42:05,122 --> 00:42:07,147 All right. 64582

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