Original subtitles

Previously on "Reaper"...

This is Morgan... my son.

Hey, I guess that makes you two half-brothers, huh?

What's up, dude?

What are you doing?

Oh, Dad sent me to do the job you couldn't do.

You are evil.

I'm the son of the Devil. What'd you expect?

What the hell's going on here?

We're celebrating Sammy's win.

Please, I'm not taking your pity prize.

Even after you find out that everything else is gone...

your keys, your wallet, your clothes,

your car, your condo... everything?

You looking for these?

You're a dead man.

Welcome. I'm Steve.

- Sam. - This is my partner Tony.

We're part of an underground alliance of demons planning to overthrow the Devil!

Hey, gang.

Quite a show, huh?

Steve? You made it? You made it to heaven?

It's even better than Cancun.

That is ridiculous. I cannot get behind that.

Come on. Ben, help me out here.

I'm sorry, man. I'm with Sock on this one.

I'm right on this. It's not gay to bang a clone of yourself.

It's absolutely gay to bang a clone of yourself.

- Hey, guys. - Hey.

I thought we'd celebrate.

Oh, right, Nina. Yeah, a little pizza, a little bubbly,

a little... suitcase.

What are we celebrating?

- Ben didn't tell you? - I was just about to.

Tell us what?

I'm moving in with you guys!

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, that'll be the day.

Wait, Sock, what's the problem?

I don't like it, Ben. I don't like it one little bit.

Having a lady in the house opens a window to lady trouble.

Next thing you know we'll all be on the same cycle.

Sam, what do you think?

To be honest, Ben, I don't think it's such a good idea.

- Thank you. - Are you uncomfortable

because of that time that I kissed you?

- What? - What?

You kissed Nina?

Damn, man.

- Ow! - That was for you, Benji.

- Thank you. - Baby, it wasn't his fault.

Actually, it was me. I kissed him.

It was a long time ago and I thought

that there was something evil about him

that I was extremely attracted to,

but now I realize that he isn't remotely wicked.

Thank you.

You're welcome. I mean, look at him.

He's so white bread.

He's just bland and he's...

- Blah? - Yes.

He's blah. Exactly.

I am not blah.

Eh...

Baby, listen to me.

I have been doing a ton of work on myself

and I am proud to say now

that I can control my urges.

I'm only just a little bit

attracted to evil now.

Okay, I believe you. Let's move past it.

- Really? - Yeah.

It's been a while, but I get it...

you're a demon and certain things are just in your nature.

You like to eat live animals, make out with my friends

and you hate wearing synthetic fabrics.

I like clothes that breathe.

Okay, none of this is out.

Are we good? Can Nina stay?

Yes, sure. Why not?

All right. Socky?

Fine, whatever. Pop the bubbly. Let it flow.

White bread?

I'm definitely not white bread. I'm a total badass.

Morgan?

This is all your fault. I had everything, and you stole it from me.

I never wanted it.

This is all you deserve.

Who am I kidding, man? I can't kill you.

I can't kill anybody. I just never had the instinct.

It's all gone, Sam...

the cars, the clothes.

Last night I had to go on a date with an actress, Sam...

an actress.

I can't even date models anymore.

That's rough.

You okay?

Just tweaked my ankle a little bit.

I'm sorry, man. I should have never come here.

None of this was even your fault.

So what now? Where are you gonna go?

I mean, you have somewhere to stay... a friend's place, right?

Funny thing about my friends, Sam...

once my money disappeared, they did too.

You want to crash here?

Don't you yank my chain right now, Sam. I am fragile.

Just until you get back on your feet.

Thanks, man.

Can I get some help?

Oh, yeah yeah. Sure, man, yeah.

Morgan, I just needed a hand.

It's okay, man. You're light

like a kitten.

Man, this is gonna be so great.

So it's me and the countess on her plane,

and by this point she's just wearing her tiara.

Oh, filthy royals. I love it.

Yeah, then she says to me,

"Have you ever been on a private plane before?"

What did you say?

I said, " No, Countess, I never have."

But you had been on one before, right?

Yeah, oh, yeah, I had the week before

with her mom.

Oh, no!

Morgan, you're so bad.

Oh, dude, you can stay here as long as you want, man.

With you around I'm bound to catch a little lady shrapnel.

I don't know, Sock. Those days seem to be long gone.

Oh, no you have plenty of callous

sociopathic tendencies left in you.

I can see these things. I'm a demon.

Seriously? A full-blown demon?

Uh-huh.

Would you like more cereal?

Please.

Damn, Ben, I had no idea you were a pervert.

I mean, I can't say I blame you for going there.

Um, I'd like to propose a dress code for the breakfast table.

T-shirts should accompany boxers.

Boxers should not be worn unless under pants...

regular loose-fitting pants.

Shall we vote?

Oh, cart boy.

Nice ride.

Yeah, back at you.

Ow.

What's with your leg?

Oh, I was just messing around with the guys.

Oh, a good old-fashioned game of grab-ass, huh?

I remember those days.

Lucky for you, I only have a little light duty for you.

Here you go. I want you to deliver this puppy for me.

Go on, get in.

All right.

Yeah, baby, eh?

Now it's to go to Mr. Gary Martin.

All the info's on the waybill.

Who is this guy?

Just another weak schmo who sold me his soul.

Yeah, the car's part of the bargain.

And don't forget to get his signature before you give him the car.

Right right.

Does this car have...

seat warmers?

Oh, Samuel, do you realize

that we are holding the keys to a piece of art?

And art, my friend, is meant to be shown,

driven and made out in.

Hey, just the men I was looking for.

Baby Stevie! She's getting so big.

Guys, I have a bunch of returns

and I can't find the receipts.

Could you hook a demon brother up?

Yeah yeah. What have we got?

- Baby-proofing supplies. - Tony,

you aren't wearing any product in your hair.

- Are you okay? - Yeah yeah, I'm fine.

I just haven't been out of the house in days.

I've been so busy.

And this little lady has been wearing me down.

Why don't you get a sitter,

- let us take you out? - Yeah.

Oh, I don't know. I haven't done that yet.

No, you need some full-on grownup time.

We will not take no for an answer, young man.

You know what? Okay, fine.

But I am buying the first round.

Yes, probably the second and the third too.

All right, hey, thanks, guys.

- For everything. - You got it.

- Say bye-bye. - Bye, Stevie.

Excuse me, everyone.

I have an announcement to make.

This should be stunning.

Just scoot in. Customers are allowed.

Something special...

nay, transcendent... has happened to me.

And I just have to shout it to the world.

Last night I, Ted Gallagher,

went on a date with a lovely angel named Linda,

and she has agreed to marry me, so yeah!

- Ted. - Yes, Andi.

Don't use the P.A. System.

Congratulations, Theodore.

Oh, that is big, seriously, huh?

You hear that, ladies? This guy's off the market, so hands off.

- You know what that mean? - What?

We gotta throw this guy a bachelor party.

What?

Yeah, send you off in style. A little booze,

a couple of naked ladies... let's get weird.

Yeah, I'd like that. Let's do that, Bert. Thank you.

Sure thing, chum pally friend.

Okay.

Aww.

You want to throw a party for Ted?

- You hate Ted. - Like rainy days and Sundays.

But I love bachelor parties.

And I'm about to throw a bachelor party

that's gonna slap all other bachelor parties in the face

with its private parts.

This way, sir.

Mr. Oliver is here to see you, sir.

What can I do you for?

I have your car.

That's very exciting news.

I just need you to sign this.

Let's have a look-see.

Thank you, Benson. That will be all.

Thank you, sir.

- Oh, and Benson, one more thing. - Yes, sir?

Oh my God.

It's a paintball gun.

Walk it off, Benson. You're supposed to be a gentleman's gentleman,

not a gentleman's wussy.

It's a little game we play. He loves it.

Right, yeah. If you could just sign that...

- I'm not signing this. - Why?

- It's the deal for my soul. - What?

And I don't like being tricked.

No, I'm sorry, I didn't...

I honestly thought this was a delivery slip.

- I'd start running if I were you. - Running? Why?

I just called for Barry Manilow.

Did the Devil give you Barry Manilow?

Oh, damn it!

Hey, numbnuts,

you dropped something.

You're lucky this is just a sprain, Mr. Oliver.

You should have come to see me a day or two ago.

Looks like it's been aggravated.

Yeah.

Well, take a rest for about a week, then come back to see me.

Got it. Thank you.

You are lucky you didn't break anything.

Has anyone ever told you you have the bone density of a canary?

I thought you said this was gonna be light duty.

Oh, the bear.

Yeah, I should have given you a little heads up on that.

I did give him the damn thing after all.

- Mea culpa, Sam. - And why didn't you tell me

I was actually gonna have this idiot sign his soul over?

I was just trying to protect you from yourself.

The minute you saw what was on that paper

you'd get all nervous and blow it. Ignorance is bliss.

- Well, I know now. - That changes nothing.

I want that guy's John Hancock on that document.

I need the guarantee that only a signature can provide.

You know how verbal agreements hold up in court.

They fold like a Dutch hooker.

He's no innocent.

That guy is a douchebag.

You saw how he lives.

I won your soul. You have to live up to the bargain.

So why should that character just skate and live the high life?

Are you gonna beep at me?

Whoa, take it easy.

This equipment's expensive.

Nice robo-calves, by the way.

You finally went to the doctor.

It got really screwed up after I was chased by a bear.

What? A bear?

Yeah, one minute I'm dropping off a car for the Devil,

the next thing I know... a bear.

It's not funny.

- Come on. - All right, maybe it's a little funny.

I just wish I'd been there.

I really miss hanging with you guys.

I can't believe I'm about to say this,

but I think I might prefer missions for the Devil

than this suck-ass management job.

Well, we're about to go out in a little bit. You want to join?

Who do I have to screw around here

to change out my register?

That's my life right now.

All right, next order of business...

ah, entertainment.

Right, so I reached out to some folks

- at the clown college... - What?

...and they said that their first-year students can work for cheap

and they're great at doing balloon animals.

However, they're very limited in their unicycle skills.

What are you talking about... clowns?

It's a bachelor party, Ben.

Well, the keyword there is "party,"

so when I think of party I think clowns.

I disagree. The keyword there is "bachelor."

So go ahead and call the stripper college.

Sock, trust me... clowns.

Ben, trust me... strippers.

Got it... stripper clowns.

Oh!

I can't believe... oh my God!

I can't believe we just had a genius idea at the same time.

That's like the Reese's Cup of party entertainment.

- Your peanut butter and my chocolate. - Swirling.

Oh, Ted Ted Ted, just the man we want to see.

You're not gonna believe what we just invented for your bachelor party.

Forget about it. The wedding's off.

No no no. What did you do?

Nothing. I went over to discuss flower arrangements

and it seems my fianc�e had no idea that she was my fianc�e.

Apparently, she thought that my proposal was some kind of joke...

a sick, sarcastic, dark joke.

You know what we're gonna do? We are still gonna have this party.

No, I don't want to. I don't think it's right.

No, Ted, it's so right.

Okay, listen, it's a bachelor party, right?

You are a bachelor. Hell, you are the bachelor, you know what I mean?

You're probably gonna be single for the rest of your life.

Probably.

Yeah, so let's celebrate that.

The world is your oyster.

And a man with an oyster world deserves a party.

- You think so? - Oh, I know so.

- Now get away from me. - Okay.

I can't believe he almost ruined our party with his stupid wedding.

Some people can be selfish.

- Hey, are you two on break? - Always.

How do you guys feel about doing some undercover work?

I don't remember ordering 1200 lbs of bear kibble.

Listen, sir, we just deliver the stuff, all right?

I don't know why I'm doing this.

I like to keep my bear hungry.

You guys know what I'm saying.

Thank you. Yo.

Ah! Ow!

I got you, Gary.

That form you signed... the last page was your contract.

You thought you could screw me over,

take all this stuff and get away with it?

I do. And I did.

"Jim Fartington"?

It's called an alias. Whassup?

You know what? I don't need your stupid signature, okay?

Look at the way you're living your life.

Right now at this very moment

you're committing about a million sins...

greed, gluttony, sloth, pride...

- Littering. - Yeah.

You're a terrible person and you're gonna end up in hell when you die.

No, I'm not, 'cause I got it all worked out.

I can get all this neat crap without signing.

I live it up and then on my deathbed

at the 11th hour I repent.

You can't just repent.

Can you?

That's what religion's all about, bro...

the whole " I'm sorry. My bad, God."

He'd look like a total jerk if he shut me out.

Oh, that's brilliant in its simplicity.

Thanks. Now get the hell out of here

before I bust out my bear. He's hungry

- and horny. - Go!

What?

Who ate all the cereal?

Guilty.

Yeah, I can see that.

Listen, Morgan, there are rules in this society, okay?

And rule number six is I like to enjoy a bowl of cereal

while I catch up on my soaps during the din-din hour.

Everybody knows that, okay?

We'll let it slide, though, 'cause you're a good guy.

Ever watch "One Life to Live"?

Can't say that I have.

Oh, brother, you're in for a treat, man.

If you're gonna waste your life sitting on a sofa

you might as well do a little "OLTL," you know what I mean?

It's crazy train.

That's weird. I had a whole week's worth of episodes saved on here.

Oh, I erased them.

ESPN Classic was running a marathon on the America's Cup, man.

I had to capture the memories.

Morgan, you do not touch another man's DVR.

You might as well hump my grandma.

Whoa, easy, guy. It's just a soap opera.

You shut your mouth.

Hey, whoa, everything okay?

No, Morgan erased my stories.

- What? - Whatever.

Cute running suit.

- Thank you. - Thanks.

I was talking to Nina.

No, seriously,

you look hot.

Thanks, Morgan. Thank you.

- You okay? - Hmm?

- Huh? - Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm gonna take a shower.

That's not cool, Morgan.

You do not hit on Nina. I love that girl.

Hey, man, listen.

I may not live by a lot of rules,

but if there's one that I stick to,

it's bros before hos. All right, man?

I would never do anything to get in between you and Nina.

All right.

Okay, look, come on, Benji,

I'll let you make me a sandwich. Let's go.

Just like the way you like to.

Sorry.

The door was open.

It's all right. Accidents happen, right?

Okay okay, did she cry and then spit up,

or did she spit up and cry?

What does the spit smell like?

All right, you know what?

If she does it again, just take a whiff and call me back.

All right, bye.

- Sorry sorry. - Is the baby okay?

That was, like, your fifth call to check in.

She's fine. I'm just being a stereotypical nervous parent.

So what have you guys been up to?

How are things?

Well, not super.

We need to get this guy for the Devil, but he keeps giving us the slip.

Oh, so what was his sin before he died?

He hasn't died yet.

Wait, he's still alive?

- Yeah. - He's sold his soul to the Devil.

I gotta get him to sign his paperwork.

No no no, Sam, you can't do this.

No, I can't, and I want to. You don't know this guy.

Sam, sending escaped souls back to hell... that is one thing,

but you don't want to be the one

damning a mortal for an eternity of torment.

That's crossing a line that you just don't want to cross.

That is pure evil.

You would be no different than the Devil himself.

Oh, okay, now in all fairness to Samuel here

- the guy is an enormous dick. - Yeah.

No, he's right. You're right.

Thank you.

I guess I just got used to putting my head down and doing the job.

I lost sight of the big picture.

Well, that's why I'm here.

And I have to go.

Oh my God, you are so baby-whipped.

No, actually I have some friends coming over.

You know what? Why don't you guys join me?

I think you can get a lot out of it.

Sounds good. Let's go.

Is that "Jessie's Girl"?

That's my jam.

Wait until you see what we've done.

And now a reading

from one of Steve's favorite works...

"The Between Boyfriends Book."

Don't you love it... all Steve all the time?

Yeah.

What is all this?

Well, these chosen few are what's left

of our failed rebellion against Satan.

But we're all on the path of Steve now.

You see, Sam,

Steve was a demon who ascended to heaven.

That means that God is willing to forgive a multitude of sins

and that there's a chance for all of us.

See, through him... through Steve we've learned

that we can regain the right to enter heaven again.

We're living his way,

earning our wings one good deed at a time.

Steventology... nice.

Sam, if you ever feel like you're slipping in your fight against Satan,

please use us as a refuge.

We're here for you, Sam.

Thank you.

Goose p�t�, anyone?

Nina?

Ben.

Hey, what are you doing here?

I thought you were gonna be out drinking too much.

What are you doing here?

Following the path of Steve.

What other secrets are you hiding from me?

None, babe, I swear.

I just didn't know how to explain this one to you.

I mean, let's face it, you can be a little bit judgy at times.

I'm sick of you hiding stuff from me.

You should be happy about this. I'm doing it for you.

How's that?

You make me want to be a better demon.

Just no more secrets, okay?

No, no more secrets...

Steve's honor.

Hey, you. How's it going?

Honestly, not great.

- I have 220 HR forms to fill out... - Right.

...and then I still have to correct an inventory...

Right right right, yeah. Your life's in the crapper.

Listen, I needs me a little favor, okay?

As you may know, I've been planning a bachelor party for Ted,

and in the midst of planning we may have hit one or two budget restraints.

Yeah, I'm not giving you any money.

Whoa, Andi, please. I don't want your money.

What I want is the Work Bench for one night, please.

- Absolutely not. - Why not?

Because it totally goes against company policy

and it violates about a bajillion codes.

Codes, policy...

Come here. I want to show you something.

You see that big bag of sadness standing right there?

That's what this party is about.

He's dead on the inside.

Sorry. No party.

Oh, wow, wowy.

The conversion is complete, huh?

All hail Andi Palpatene, the Dark Lord of the Work Bench.

- I guess people were right about you. - What does that mean?

Nothing. I just don't think people really like

this new Andi thing you've become.

Oh, that's crap.

You know, people like me.

Oh, they do, huh? Okay, tell me this, smarty pants...

where were you last week when the entire paint department went go-karting?

I didn't know that they went.

Exactly, because no one told you

because nobody likes you, boss lady.

Okay.

Okay, throw your party.

Yes! Hot dog!

Oh, Andi, I know you'd come through.

You are gonna become a legend for this...

a legend.

Ladies, we have discovered the fountain of youth.

Right here in this little vial...

a purified protein that relaxes the muscles,

smoothes the skin, eliminates the wrinkles.

Who would like to go first?

- Phyllis? - Yeah.

We'll continue on with the rest of you after I grab a quick snack.

Well, that was gross.

Vanity is one of my favorites.

Look how happy I make them, Sammy,

injecting them with botulism.

You got some pretty nasty crow's feet. Want me to pump you up?

No, I'm good. Thank you.

Hey, did you get Gary to sign?

No, and I'm never going to.

It's not my job to acquire souls. And I don't appreciate

you setting me up to cross that line.

Hey, you can't blame me for trying.

Still, you know, that Gary really chaps my ass.

I rarely ever do verbal agreements.

And I just assumed you'd be able to close the deal on him.

I think he's a lost cause.

He has a plan to repent in the 11th hour.

Oh, that old little 11th-hour chestnut, huh?

I love that one... God's perfect loophole.

Does that work?

Not if I get him in the 10th hour.

I guess maybe I'll just reel him in right now,

while he's still running around sinning

like a nun at Mardi Gras,

before he even thinks of repenting.

Wait. Hold on. You can't just kill him, can you?

I don't need to kill him myself.

I know it may be hard to believe,

but I hang with a pretty rough crowd.

You know, I got a guy who literally kills for Madonna tickets.

All right.

Thanks for the info, though. Nice job, buddy.

And don't you worry about Gary.

I'll take care of him.

Okay, on the one hand, Gary is a turd.

Mm-hmm, if it's brown, flush her down.

But if I don't warn him, the Devil's gonna have him killed.

That makes me responsible.

I'd be an accomplice to his murder.

That's a lot for one man's conscience.

Why are we even doing this dance? We all know

you're not gonna sit back and watch this guy get killed.

- It's not the game you play. - He's right.

So I guess I'll just, what, tell him that the Devil's putting a hit on him?

Exactly. Sounds good to me.

Now since we're already having a house meeting,

we need to talk about your brother.

- Morgan's gotta go. - Why? You guys love him.

Well, we did love him until he ate everything in the house

and erased "One Life to Live."

Seriously? I was, like, five episodes behind.

And I think he's gonna make a move on Nina.

She's a decent lady, Sam,

but she has her weaknesses.

And it's only a matter of time

before she falls for those glorious pecs and glistening abs.

You need to nudge that little birdie out of the nest.

Hey, Morgan.

Uh, we need to talk.

You're kicking me out, right?

I was listening in to your little meeting.

You really think I got a shot with Nina?

Come on, forget Nina. Do you have any idea how lucky you are?

You are free of the Devil. You can do anything you want.

Yeah, what's that?

That's something you gotta figure out for yourself.

Come on, that's what life's all about...

finding something you want and going out and getting it.

The important part is going out.

How am I gonna do that?

Look at me. I'm useless without Dad's backing.

Come on, that's ridiculous.

You can do it because you're Morgan.

You get stuff done. You got focus,

charm, good looks,

a massive massive ego.

You just gotta find yourself a goal,

something to reach for.

Easy for you to say, Sam.

You got everything you want. Hell, man, you have everything I want.

And if I could, I'd give it to you.

Look, Morgan, I gotta go.

Find yourself a goal,

'cause you gotta get out of here.

Enough already.

The cat-and-mouse stuff was fun, but I'm tired of it.

Now leave before I send 1,000 volts from your eyeballs to your a-hole.

Listen listen, I came to warn you...

the Devil's not gonna give up on your soul.

He knows about your 11th-hour plan

and he's putting a hit out on you right now.

Oh, crap. Oh, crap.

Yeah, you'd better do your repenting thing now.

I mean it. You might not have a lot of time.

About that... how exactly does one repent?

- You don't know? - Not really.

That was your whole thing... repent in the 11th hour.

That's when I thought the 11th hour was decades away.

I figured I'd join a class or take up Bible study.

I may know somebody who could help.

Cheer up, sad clown.

This forecast calls for rain.

Hi.

You are a beautiful clown.

Oh, look at that. Oh my gosh.

Could you?

Oh, what did you want?

A doggie.

- Nice balloon dog. - What are you doing here?

Well, the new Andi is here to make sure you don't burn the place down.

Oh, I'm sure she is.

The old Andi is here to laugh at stuff like that.

Chug chug chug chug!

Chug chug chug chug!

Time of my life! I love it!

Guys, this is the best time ever.

Ted, I love you. You're never gonna see something like that again.

That is once-in-a-lifetime event right there.

Andi, a boilermaker. Let's go.

- No no no. - Do it for the old Andi. Come on.

- Yeah, drop it in there. - You know what? Screw it.

- Let's do it. - Chug chug chug!

Chug chug chug chug chug!

Chug chug chug chug!

Hey, wrong party, guy.

We didn't order any office paper, sorry.

We're from the home office. Who's in charge here?

Whoo!

I am the master!

Hi.

Welcome to the Work Bench. Can I help you?

We received a call tonight about a party here

- from Mr. Ted Gallagher. - Ted?

Whoo!

Hey, guys. Thanks for coming.

Ted, why, after all the stuff we did for you...?

And I appreciate it. This is the nicest thing

that anyone's ever done for me. But rules are rules.

And this tiger doesn't change his stripes for nobody.

Miss Prendergast, can we speak to you for a moment?

Aww.

It's a shame... such wasted talent.

- Run. - Sorry?

Run, Ted!

Where is everybody?

The boys went to a bachelor party.

Why would Ben leave you behind for a bachelor party?

It's okay. I trust Ben.

He's a good guy,

not like you.

You're a bad boy, aren't you?

You have no idea.

I think I can imagine.

I've always wanted to be with a demon.

I shouldn't.

Why not?

I'm trying to break this cycle that I'm in

of going after evil guys like you.

Yeah, but I'm not even really a bad boy.

You said you were.

That was just to get you in bed.

I don't know.

What do I have to do to prove it to you?

You could...

go to my prayer meeting with me tonight.

Religion.

Sounds kinky.

I'll go get my coat.

So you see, praying's great...

it never hurts to communicate...

but if you want to get into heaven, it's about more than words.

It's about the path of Steve.

And that path is paved through action, Gary...

good deeds.

I see.

Wow.

That is the dumbest load of crap that I've ever heard.

The path of Steve? Good Lord.

Tony's right, Gary.

There's still hope. There's time to seek redemption.

Listen to Tony.

How are you guys doing that?

- Doing what? - That.

What are you talking about?

The guy on the TV... he's talking to me.

They can't see me, Gary.

This isn't funny. Don't mock us.

I know how to make him believe you.

Kiss him. It's okay. Go ahead.

But when you do, make sure you give him one of these.

He's telling me to do this.

What?

Oh.

Well, he's definitely getting pointers from Steve.

You can tell by that?

Well, he did the double butt grab.

That's Steve's signature move.

What does Steve want?

- I need you to warn Sam. - He's telling me to warn you.

Warn me about what?

Probably me.

Morgan?

You should be really proud of yourself, Sam.

You gave me some good advice.

I have a goal now. Oh, not to mention,

I've found my killer instinct.

Where did you get a gun?

Oh, I'm always strapped, honey.

- Morgan, what are you doing? - I'm taking your advice.

I'm taking charge. I want to be back on Dad's good side,

and I'm gonna do that by getting rid of you.

Then I'm gonna turn in these traitors and be rewarded.

Thanks for the pep talk.

Oh, that's unfortunate.

I just had these carpets cleaned.

Just watch the doorway.

Great.

I got the door open. All right.

Heavy, huh? Thank you.

- Sorry about the mess. - Eh, what are you gonna do?

I can't believe that just happened.

I can't believe you killed Morgan.

We had to do it, Sam. We're required

to hunt the Devil's offspring and destroy them

in order to prevent Armageddon.

Sorry, I just couldn't tell anyone.

Yeah, but what about me? I'm the son of the Devil.

You're different.

You have your own destiny.

Steve told me that too.

How am I different? What else did he say?

Nothing. Everything.

I can't explain.

I heard his thoughts. I felt his presence.

I've never experienced anything like that before.

I have to go.

I have to give it all away.

Give what away?

I'm shedding all my material possessions

and helping those who need it.

And don't worry, I won't tell anyone

about the murder that occurred here tonight.

Well, look who's together.

Ben, come on. It's not like that.

I know.

I trust you. You're not like Morgan.

Nina, I don't know what I'd do if you were with that guy.

Oh, no.

What did you do? And I want the truth.

I'm gonna go get something to eat.

I sort of acted

like I would have sex with Morgan

so he would come with me to Tony's house

so I could kill him.

I'm still assigned

to kill the offspring of the Devil,

like I tried to do with Sam.

So all the flirting...

Was just me setting a trap.

You're a demon assassin.

You're just a demon assassin...

a faithful, not-cheating-on-me assassin.

Give me some sugar, baby.

Don't mind me.

I'm just looking for this right here.

Sock, did you bring home a stripper clown?

Oh, Socky,

let's try it again with the nose on.

Where is our lovely host?

Oh, young lady,

could you get your mother Phyllis for me?

Oh, you.

What could I possibly do to improve on this look?

Bigger lips.

Oh, yeah, a bit flat.

Here, take this.

Why don't you practice on each other?

What gives, Sammy?

It seems that Gary has turned down my deal

and he's driving his bear to the Shambala Wildlife Preserve tonight.

- Really? - He's planning to help Tippi Hedren

care for her wild animals.

Good for him.

Don't be coy with me.

I think you know something about this.

I had to call off his hit

when he took the martyred highway straight to heaven.

I'm sorry. I couldn't stand by and let someone die.

Oh, you mean like watching as a man...

a brother... is ripped apart by demons?

You know anything about that?

I didn't do it.

Fratricide, Sammy?

You constantly amaze me, man.

Morgan is being tortured in hell right now.

He keeps calling out your name.

I just hope old Morgan doesn't figure out a way

to escape from hell, for your sake.

I don't think he's your biggest fan right now.

Well, where were we, ladies?

Jeez. Good one.

Oh my God, that was a solid double.

Thank you. I'm a little wet.

Okay, so let me get this straight...

Steve possessed this guy and then he told you

that you're different than the other sons of the Devil?

He wasn't possessed. He was speaking to him on the karaoke DVD.

That makes much more sense.

Right right.

Well, different is good, right?

Different is definitely good.

All right.

So you got demoted, huh?

Yeah, I'm not even allowed to work the registers.

I can't believe that.

It's okay, actually. I was sick of all the stress.

And now I have more time to do other stuff, like this.

I missed this.

Me too.

Things almost feel like they're back to normal.

I know.

It's close enough for now, huh?

All right.