All language subtitles for Ramy.S01E05.720p.WEBRip.x264-TBS
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:16,032 --> 00:00:17,451
Oh. Oh.
2
00:00:18,036 --> 00:00:20,206
Oh, man.
3
00:00:20,207 --> 00:00:21,459
It's really late, huh?
4
00:00:22,211 --> 00:00:24,549
What? It's, like...
5
00:00:24,550 --> 00:00:27,095
It's, like, after 4:00.
You're probably really tired.
6
00:00:27,096 --> 00:00:28,641
Wait, what was on your phone?
7
00:00:29,851 --> 00:00:32,523
It's, uh, it's just, like,
it's a prayer notification,
8
00:00:32,524 --> 00:00:35,738
'cause the...
sun's about to rise. So...
9
00:00:36,991 --> 00:00:38,953
Do you wanna pray after we're done?
10
00:00:40,289 --> 00:00:42,417
Oh.
11
00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:45,675
I‐I can't have sex.
12
00:00:47,344 --> 00:00:49,640
Today's the first day of Ramadan,
13
00:00:49,641 --> 00:00:53,439
so we can't eat or drink or... have sex
14
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,777
from sunrise to sunset.
15
00:00:55,778 --> 00:00:58,032
So, what, you can only fuck at night?
16
00:00:58,033 --> 00:00:59,702
I actually can't at all.
17
00:00:59,703 --> 00:01:02,541
I mean, I'm never really supposed to,
unless I'm, you know,
18
00:01:02,542 --> 00:01:05,338
married to the person, but, um...
19
00:01:05,339 --> 00:01:08,845
you know, obviously I do,
but this month I...
20
00:01:08,846 --> 00:01:11,351
I try to be, you know‐‐.
21
00:01:12,144 --> 00:01:14,357
I try to get rid of all distractions.
22
00:01:16,779 --> 00:01:18,783
I‐I think that's amazing.
23
00:01:19,576 --> 00:01:21,328
Really? SARAH: Yeah.
24
00:01:21,329 --> 00:01:24,585
I can't even fast for, like,
one day for Yom Kippur.
25
00:01:24,586 --> 00:01:26,673
I have to eat, like, ten pieces of cake
26
00:01:26,674 --> 00:01:29,637
and hide it from my grandpa,
or he'll cry.
27
00:01:29,638 --> 00:01:31,057
He'll cry? SARAH: Yeah.
28
00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:35,147
Yeah, like, what are you doing here?
You should go.
29
00:01:35,148 --> 00:01:37,402
Yeah. Yeah, no. I am, I am.
30
00:01:37,403 --> 00:01:39,322
I just‐I wanted to see you, too,
31
00:01:39,323 --> 00:01:41,786
so I was trying to make it all work, but‐‐
32
00:01:41,787 --> 00:01:44,208
Fuck that.
If you're gonna do it, do it.
33
00:01:45,503 --> 00:01:48,090
Yeah. Yeah, no.
I'm‐I'm gonna do it.
34
00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:49,134
Great.
35
00:01:49,135 --> 00:01:51,222
So I'll see you in, like, 30 days.
36
00:01:52,224 --> 00:01:54,145
Yeah. I'll see you in 30 days.
37
00:02:23,537 --> 00:02:24,706
Ramy.
38
00:02:25,792 --> 00:02:28,129
Pick up the engraving from the Chinese.
39
00:02:30,635 --> 00:02:32,513
You're eating too?
40
00:02:32,514 --> 00:02:33,765
It‐It's Ramadan.
41
00:02:33,766 --> 00:02:36,604
Ramadan is tomorrow.
A real Muslim would know this.
42
00:02:36,605 --> 00:02:38,440
Everybody I know is fasting today.
43
00:02:38,441 --> 00:02:40,737
That's because they're following Saudi.
44
00:02:40,738 --> 00:02:43,827
I don't answer to Saudi Arabia.
The most corrupt country in the world.
45
00:02:43,828 --> 00:02:45,329
I thought that was Israel.
46
00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:47,291
They're Jews.
They don't know any better.
47
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,878
Muslims should.
48
00:02:48,879 --> 00:02:52,301
You decide to fast, I'll turn my back
out of respect for you.
49
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:53,847
Okay, whatever.
50
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:56,476
Look, I'm gonna go pray, all right?
I'll be back in a couple of minutes.
51
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,480
It's the first time
you've prayed since you started.
52
00:02:58,481 --> 00:03:00,109
I haven't seen you pray at all.
53
00:03:00,110 --> 00:03:04,117
Habibi... I don't pray
because it's between me and Allah.
54
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:07,206
I don't show off
or make announcement, huh?
55
00:03:07,207 --> 00:03:09,211
Yeah? It's called humility.
56
00:03:09,921 --> 00:03:11,799
You're very serious
about this Ramadan, huh?
57
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,718
I'll be back.
58
00:03:29,753 --> 00:03:31,296
When did you wear this last?
59
00:03:31,297 --> 00:03:34,052
Eighth grade?
Lookin' a little short there.
60
00:03:34,053 --> 00:03:35,597
Yeah, well, we haven't
been to Egypt in a while,
61
00:03:35,598 --> 00:03:36,724
it's the only one I have.
62
00:03:36,725 --> 00:03:39,062
Dude, you look like the fobs
that D. M. Me on Facebook.
63
00:03:39,063 --> 00:03:41,525
It's very,
"Please marry me, my queen."
64
00:03:41,526 --> 00:03:43,946
Show me their picture.
Mom, ew. No.
65
00:03:43,947 --> 00:03:45,407
It's called being traditional,
all right?
66
00:03:45,408 --> 00:03:46,411
Mm‐hmm.
67
00:03:47,287 --> 00:03:49,290
How was everyone's
first day of fasting?
68
00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:51,002
I'm doing that.
69
00:03:54,218 --> 00:03:56,179
You guys want to pray maghrib
before we eat?
70
00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:57,809
Shh. Shh. Please. Please.
71
00:03:58,936 --> 00:04:02,483
You know, I‐I think I might go to
the mosque tonight to pray taraweeh.
72
00:04:02,484 --> 00:04:04,811
Or read some Qur'an at home,
if anybody wants to‐‐
73
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:08,245
Ramy, please.
This is the first episode.
74
00:04:08,246 --> 00:04:11,502
If we miss that, we're gonna be lost
for the rest of the month.
75
00:04:11,503 --> 00:04:12,503
Please.
76
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,844
It seems the shows are
gonna be good this year. Hmm?
77
00:04:15,845 --> 00:04:18,766
Good trailers means good shows.
Mm‐hmm.
78
00:04:18,767 --> 00:04:20,103
Good Ramadan, inshallah.
79
00:04:32,002 --> 00:04:33,004
"Allah."
80
00:04:34,214 --> 00:04:36,720
"Allah... Allah."
81
00:04:44,569 --> 00:04:47,198
Man, this "ISIS fag" shit...
82
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,743
it couldn't come at a better time.
83
00:04:48,744 --> 00:04:50,454
Ramadan and hate crime?
84
00:04:50,455 --> 00:04:53,126
My God, I couldn't pay
for that kind of publicity.
85
00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,965
This is great. Look at this place.
It's jammin'!
86
00:04:55,966 --> 00:04:57,384
It's amazing. May‐‐.
87
00:04:57,385 --> 00:04:59,723
You think that I could get my food?
Hey, take it easy, all right?
88
00:04:59,724 --> 00:05:02,854
Paying customers eat first.
Freeloaders eat last. You know this.
89
00:05:02,855 --> 00:05:05,777
It's, like, five minutes until fajr.
90
00:05:05,778 --> 00:05:08,240
You really gonna be one of
those Ramadan Muslims, okay?
91
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,827
You can't be jerkin' off all year,
92
00:05:09,828 --> 00:05:11,747
then all of a sudden
turn into Malcolm X.
93
00:05:11,748 --> 00:05:13,835
Thank you, Rana, habibti.
94
00:05:13,836 --> 00:05:16,464
Here you go.
All right? Enjoy that.
95
00:05:16,465 --> 00:05:18,553
How long‐‐
Look, it's all about intention.
96
00:05:18,554 --> 00:05:21,809
You placed your order before sunup.
You're fine.
97
00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:24,355
Here you go. All right?
98
00:05:24,356 --> 00:05:27,319
By the way, all that app shit‐‐
most of it is garbage.
99
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,658
How do you think they did it
back in the time of the Prophet?
100
00:05:29,659 --> 00:05:31,202
Look at that.
That's how they did it.
101
00:05:31,203 --> 00:05:33,833
That's real Muslim right there.
That's old‐school.
102
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,254
Walk out, the sun's up,
"Hey, guess what, guys, don't eat."
103
00:05:36,255 --> 00:05:38,718
Sun's down, "Eat."
It's very simple.
104
00:05:38,719 --> 00:05:40,555
You don't have to complicate things.
105
00:05:40,556 --> 00:05:41,765
Right?
106
00:05:41,766 --> 00:05:44,437
He knows what I'm saying.
Is it time?
107
00:05:44,438 --> 00:05:45,982
Too much light pollution.
108
00:05:45,983 --> 00:05:49,238
I can't tell if it's the sun
or that new Target that opened up on 17th.
109
00:05:49,239 --> 00:05:50,909
That shit glows, man.
110
00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:52,829
So I stopped eating an hour ago,
just to be safe.
111
00:05:56,504 --> 00:05:58,465
You really are taking this seriously,
huh?
112
00:05:58,466 --> 00:06:00,427
- Very seriously.
- I have to, man.
113
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:04,227
I really need this Ramadan, dude.
Last time I was half in, half out.
114
00:06:04,228 --> 00:06:07,358
This Ramadan, no women,
I'm not gonna watch porn,
115
00:06:07,359 --> 00:06:09,947
I'm just gonna be focused.
No porn. This guy says no porn.
116
00:06:09,948 --> 00:06:11,032
It's gonna be tough.
No way.
117
00:06:11,033 --> 00:06:12,577
What do you mean I'm gonna‐‐
MO: You. You are not gonna‐‐
118
00:06:12,578 --> 00:06:13,829
- What do you mean, me?
- I give you 24 hours.
119
00:06:13,830 --> 00:06:16,167
Impossible. You won't make it a day.
You don't watch porn?
120
00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:18,338
Mnh‐mnh. I actually don't.
121
00:06:18,339 --> 00:06:21,427
It's gross, man. I need something real,
like a connection.
122
00:06:21,428 --> 00:06:22,722
Like a memory.
123
00:06:22,723 --> 00:06:24,267
Like the memory of me and my wife
124
00:06:24,268 --> 00:06:26,396
when we were in love
and on our honeymoon.
125
00:06:26,397 --> 00:06:29,068
We were in Paris. It was amazing.
Looking into her eyes?
126
00:06:29,069 --> 00:06:32,366
That's what I masturbate to.
The raw passion.
127
00:06:32,367 --> 00:06:34,538
That's the fuckin' weirdest thing
I've ever heard.
128
00:06:34,539 --> 00:06:36,600
I don't think anybody knows
what you're saying, honestly.
129
00:06:36,601 --> 00:06:37,627
I don't know
what you're talking about.
130
00:06:37,628 --> 00:06:40,883
Can we just, like, not talk
about this right now?
131
00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:43,639
Yeah. Don't try to ruin this
for me, okay?
132
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,017
Everything's poppin' off.
Committed sex is beautiful.
133
00:06:45,018 --> 00:06:46,311
You guys gonna pray, or what?
134
00:06:46,312 --> 00:06:48,440
Yeah, the sheikh has spoken.
Let's make it happen.
135
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,693
Outtie, man.
136
00:07:20,672 --> 00:07:21,715
Ouch.
137
00:07:21,716 --> 00:07:23,343
Allahu Akbar.
138
00:07:23,344 --> 00:07:24,847
Allahu Akbar.
139
00:07:26,768 --> 00:07:29,438
- Allahu Akbar.- Allahu Akbar.
140
00:07:29,439 --> 00:07:30,858
Yo, Ramy!
141
00:07:30,859 --> 00:07:33,488
- Allahu Akbar.- Allahu Akbar.
142
00:07:33,489 --> 00:07:36,161
Yo. Yo. Ramy.
143
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,710
Oh, yeah.
144
00:07:57,788 --> 00:08:00,250
- Hey, man. I'm sorry about that. Hey.
- It's all right.
145
00:08:00,251 --> 00:08:02,129
- No. No worries, man.
- How are ya?
146
00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:03,507
- It's been a while, dude.
- Yeah, yeah, no,
147
00:08:03,508 --> 00:08:05,928
long fuckin' time, bro. Yeah.
Yeah.
148
00:08:05,929 --> 00:08:08,057
Listen, man, what‐what
is this you guys are doin'?
149
00:08:08,058 --> 00:08:09,644
Is that that, um...
150
00:08:09,645 --> 00:08:10,898
that prayer shit that you do?
151
00:08:11,941 --> 00:08:14,069
- Yeah, you know, it's Ramadan, so...
- Ramadan.
152
00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:16,825
...we were just eating
before the sun rises, and prayin'.
153
00:08:16,826 --> 00:08:18,244
Yeah. Dope. That's sick.
154
00:08:18,245 --> 00:08:20,667
That's sick, man. Ramadan.
155
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:23,756
Cool.
156
00:08:23,757 --> 00:08:25,425
You good? SHAWN: Yeah.
157
00:08:25,426 --> 00:08:28,641
Yeah, ah, well, nah.
Nah, I'm not, man.
158
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:33,651
I'm workin' this construction job,
these fuckin' early‐ass hours, and‐‐.
159
00:08:33,652 --> 00:08:36,823
But I need 'em, I knocked this bitch up
in Jersey City last year,
160
00:08:36,824 --> 00:08:39,788
and you know how these bitches are,
just trappin' everyone they can.
161
00:08:39,789 --> 00:08:41,583
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You know, so...
162
00:08:41,584 --> 00:08:43,294
I had to find a job real quick,
163
00:08:43,295 --> 00:08:46,008
and, uh, we're rebuilding that bridge
over in Newark.
164
00:08:46,009 --> 00:08:47,720
Dope. Yeah, man. Yeah.
165
00:08:47,721 --> 00:08:49,516
I've been on it. Well, dude,
166
00:08:49,517 --> 00:08:52,062
it was really good seein' ya.
And a few months ago, uh,
167
00:08:52,063 --> 00:08:54,527
they found a lump on my mom.
168
00:08:57,700 --> 00:09:02,499
They found it late, ya know, I mean,
we got her at Hackensack now, and...
169
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,715
I mean, she's a fighter, man,
but I‐I don't know, ya know?
170
00:09:05,716 --> 00:09:07,885
I mean, we don't know
what's gonna happen.
171
00:09:07,886 --> 00:09:09,598
I'm sorry, man. Yeah.
172
00:09:09,599 --> 00:09:11,935
And, uh... Fuck.
173
00:09:11,936 --> 00:09:15,526
...and I see you doin' this prayers,
and, ya know,
174
00:09:15,527 --> 00:09:16,987
it just got me thinkin', like...
175
00:09:16,988 --> 00:09:19,659
I'm not religious or nothin',
ya know,
176
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,080
but I'm feelin' like...
177
00:09:22,081 --> 00:09:24,628
I could use a little help from up there.
178
00:09:24,629 --> 00:09:26,088
Of course, man. Ya know?
179
00:09:26,089 --> 00:09:28,970
So listen, do‐‐do me a favor,
all right?
180
00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:31,767
Pray for her. Okay?
181
00:09:31,768 --> 00:09:33,186
Dude, I‐I will, man.
182
00:09:33,187 --> 00:09:35,566
I'm gonna pray for her,
and I'll pray for your whole family, man.
183
00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:37,069
I'm sorry, dude. No, no, no.
184
00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:40,744
Just do another one of those right now,
real quick, okay?
185
00:09:42,413 --> 00:09:45,753
Well, ya know, we just did it,
and we actually, we pray five times a day,
186
00:09:45,754 --> 00:09:47,882
so I'm gonna get her on the next one.
187
00:09:47,883 --> 00:09:50,680
It's my fuckin' mom, bro. All right?
188
00:09:50,681 --> 00:09:52,725
She's got stage 4 breast cancer,
189
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,063
I know how the day goes,
you're a busy guy,
190
00:09:55,064 --> 00:09:56,650
just throw one down for her.
191
00:09:56,651 --> 00:09:58,195
Real quick. Okay?
192
00:09:58,947 --> 00:10:02,244
Come on, man, I know you're keepin'
Steve alive with all this shit, right?
193
00:10:02,245 --> 00:10:04,834
Nobody thought he'd have
all those birthdays.
194
00:10:05,459 --> 00:10:08,340
Don't break my balls.
Do the Ramadan.
195
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,470
Okay. Thank you.
196
00:10:11,471 --> 00:10:14,644
Her life is in your hands. Okay?
197
00:10:14,645 --> 00:10:17,233
All right. All right. Okay.
198
00:10:18,193 --> 00:10:19,780
You don't wanna take your shoes off?
199
00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:41,615
You don't wanna do it, like, out loud
like you were doin' it before?
200
00:10:41,616 --> 00:10:43,745
Ya know? Like, loud?
201
00:10:46,751 --> 00:10:48,295
Her name is Jackie.
202
00:10:50,926 --> 00:10:52,930
Jackie.
203
00:10:54,892 --> 00:10:58,525
Jackie...
204
00:11:01,154 --> 00:11:02,322
Shawn...
205
00:11:02,323 --> 00:11:03,660
Shawn.
206
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,588
- Allah.
- Yeah.
207
00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:42,278
Oh.
208
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:50,878
Yo. Salaams.
209
00:11:50,879 --> 00:11:52,423
Sit down, bro.
210
00:11:54,135 --> 00:11:56,221
- Bro, what are you wearing, bro?
- What?
211
00:11:56,222 --> 00:11:57,725
What is this?
212
00:11:57,726 --> 00:12:00,355
I mean, seriously.
You look like Muammar Gadhafi.
213
00:12:00,356 --> 00:12:02,400
It's a galabiya, bro. I‐I mean, I‐‐
214
00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:03,862
I know it's a galabiya,
I love galabiyas.
215
00:12:03,863 --> 00:12:06,910
Nobody's talking about the galabiya.
I'm talking about you in this galabiya.
216
00:12:06,911 --> 00:12:09,164
It's a little bit short, all right?
It's an old one.
217
00:12:09,165 --> 00:12:11,586
It looks like a Muslim mini‐skirt
for a man. I mean, it's really too much.
218
00:12:11,587 --> 00:12:12,880
Why are you wearing a track suit?
219
00:12:12,881 --> 00:12:14,509
It looks dope. Don't be jealous, okay?
220
00:12:14,510 --> 00:12:16,972
Run‐DMC, baby. Run‐DMC all day.
221
00:12:16,973 --> 00:12:18,934
You look like
a Russian basketball coach.
222
00:12:18,935 --> 00:12:21,188
Leave my track suit out of this.
I think I look good.
223
00:12:21,189 --> 00:12:22,858
Yeah, yeah, you look good.
Yeah.
224
00:12:22,859 --> 00:12:24,737
For a six‐year‐old girl.
225
00:12:24,738 --> 00:12:27,660
You're gonna ruin this whole meeting.
It's very frustrating.
226
00:12:27,661 --> 00:12:29,873
- What meeting?
227
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:31,836
Straighten the lines.
228
00:12:32,963 --> 00:12:34,925
Fill in the gaps.
229
00:12:36,052 --> 00:12:39,266
Allahu Akbar.
230
00:12:39,267 --> 00:12:41,938
Allahu Akbar.
231
00:12:52,961 --> 00:12:54,630
Ali's been running around all night.
232
00:12:54,631 --> 00:12:58,262
Can you take him for just a little bit
so I can read the Qur'an in peace?
233
00:12:58,263 --> 00:12:59,682
I might have to step out.
234
00:12:59,683 --> 00:13:02,855
My love, you can't even pray
without taking a business call?
235
00:13:02,856 --> 00:13:03,982
Hooah!
236
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,736
You want me to pray
or you want me to take care of Ali?
237
00:13:05,737 --> 00:13:07,155
What do you want? Okay.
238
00:13:07,156 --> 00:13:09,034
He has fun up there.
There's more room to run.
239
00:13:09,035 --> 00:13:11,246
Are you freaking kidding me?
240
00:13:11,247 --> 00:13:13,794
Have you not seen the women's section?
It's a freaking closet.
241
00:13:13,795 --> 00:13:15,840
Don't curse in the mosque.
242
00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:19,262
There you are.
I've been looking all over for you.
243
00:13:19,263 --> 00:13:21,935
Yeah, I know her.
She's like a Muslim Erin Brockovich, man.
244
00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:23,437
Always protesting somethin'.
245
00:13:23,438 --> 00:13:25,692
TVs, air‐conditioning,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
246
00:13:25,693 --> 00:13:27,738
I mean, dude, the women's section
sounds terrible.
247
00:13:27,739 --> 00:13:28,907
Have you even been there?
248
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:31,328
No. It's the women's section.
249
00:13:31,329 --> 00:13:33,792
Nobody goes up there
except... women.
250
00:13:33,793 --> 00:13:35,211
Come on.
251
00:13:35,212 --> 00:13:36,923
Come on, we're late.
We have to go to the meeting, bro.
252
00:13:36,924 --> 00:13:39,094
What's this meeting, man?
You keep saying that.
253
00:13:39,095 --> 00:13:40,221
What do you mean
what am I talking about?
254
00:13:40,222 --> 00:13:43,102
Look around, man. Ramadan, baby.
This is Coachella for Muslims.
255
00:13:43,103 --> 00:13:45,774
Come on. Got fly hijabis
runnin' everywhere.
256
00:13:45,775 --> 00:13:47,862
This is prime marriage season.
Come on.
257
00:13:47,863 --> 00:13:49,489
Come on. Come on.
258
00:13:49,490 --> 00:13:51,703
Why are you being‐‐
You're so aggressive, you're like‐‐
259
00:13:51,704 --> 00:13:53,790
Because that's what you need, okay?
Ramy.
260
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:55,334
There's no way to get you
to do anything else.
261
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,088
Oh, man, this is amazing.
Thank you‐‐
262
00:13:57,089 --> 00:13:59,844
Goin' back to your roots.
That's what I've been trying to say.
263
00:13:59,845 --> 00:14:01,013
She's gonna like it.
264
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,223
Who? AHMED: My cousin.
265
00:14:02,224 --> 00:14:04,604
She's visiting for a few nights.
She's lookin' for a partner.
266
00:14:04,605 --> 00:14:06,649
Bro, I knew it. I knew you guys
were doing this, man.
267
00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:08,402
I told you, I don't want to be set up.
268
00:14:08,403 --> 00:14:10,114
Dude‐‐
I came here to pray. That's it.
269
00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:12,201
You said you want to do it
the right way.
270
00:14:12,202 --> 00:14:13,830
The Imam already set it up.
271
00:14:13,831 --> 00:14:15,626
She's waiting for you in the office.
272
00:14:15,627 --> 00:14:17,963
The Imam?
Bro, this is so weird, dude.
273
00:14:17,964 --> 00:14:20,051
That's weird?
Come on, give me a break, okay?
274
00:14:20,052 --> 00:14:22,514
You're in a safe place,
you got Islamic permission.
275
00:14:22,515 --> 00:14:25,269
Stop it, okay? You're on Tinder, swiping.
That's what's really weird.
276
00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:28,025
Look, maybe if you gave some
of these Muslim girls a chance
277
00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:30,488
you wouldn't feel the urge
to have sex with random women
278
00:14:30,489 --> 00:14:31,866
and watch porn.
279
00:14:31,867 --> 00:14:34,454
- I don't watch that much porn.
- You watch a lot of porn.
280
00:14:34,455 --> 00:14:36,834
- I watch a normal amount of porn.
- You got sick things in your brain.
281
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:38,630
You watch so much porn.
No, I don't.
282
00:14:38,631 --> 00:14:41,343
- You do. You smell like it.
- And I know you watch porn.
283
00:14:41,344 --> 00:14:43,263
I smell like it? MO: Shh!
284
00:14:43,264 --> 00:14:45,185
It's gonna be fine, bro.
Just get down there.
285
00:14:46,312 --> 00:14:48,900
Salaam. Um, salaams.
286
00:14:48,901 --> 00:14:52,156
Thank you
for taking the time to talk with me.
287
00:14:52,157 --> 00:14:53,952
To be perfectly honest,
288
00:14:53,953 --> 00:14:56,582
I made the intention to meet
with multiple people on this trip
289
00:14:56,583 --> 00:14:58,168
for the purpose of marriage.
290
00:14:58,169 --> 00:15:00,214
I know that this might sound
a little weird,
291
00:15:00,215 --> 00:15:02,385
but I don't wanna waste my time.
292
00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:03,596
Or yours.
293
00:15:03,597 --> 00:15:04,850
Yeah.
294
00:15:05,810 --> 00:15:07,688
We'll start with an easy one.
295
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,609
How would you describe yourself?
296
00:15:10,737 --> 00:15:13,743
I work for my uncle...
in the diamond district.
297
00:15:14,619 --> 00:15:17,834
It's not really who I am,
but it's what I do.
298
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:20,422
Do you enjoy the work?
299
00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:23,720
I don't not like it, you know,
300
00:15:23,721 --> 00:15:25,807
but it's not really, um‐‐.
301
00:15:25,808 --> 00:15:27,562
It's‐it's just temporary.
302
00:15:29,398 --> 00:15:30,693
I see.
303
00:15:31,779 --> 00:15:34,910
So what are your goals
for this life?
304
00:15:36,454 --> 00:15:37,623
This life?
305
00:15:37,624 --> 00:15:40,755
Yeah.
Before the Day of Judgement.
306
00:15:42,257 --> 00:15:45,096
I mean, where do you see yourself
in ten years?
307
00:15:45,097 --> 00:15:49,229
For me, um, in five years, I would like
to be finished with nursing school
308
00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:51,526
and hopefully married.
309
00:15:51,527 --> 00:15:55,492
In ten years, I would like
to have three kids, a home, a career.
310
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:58,790
What are you building towards?
311
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,589
Yeah, you know,
I'm not really, like, a...
312
00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:04,175
big planner, you know?
313
00:16:04,176 --> 00:16:05,929
I'm kinda more like
an in‐the‐moment kind of guy.
314
00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:07,766
Like, just...
315
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:10,522
figuring it out very day‐by‐day,
316
00:16:10,523 --> 00:16:13,485
like, um, like the Prophet, I think?
317
00:16:13,486 --> 00:16:16,409
And, um, I feel like...
318
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:21,418
this Ramadan, for me, is really about
figuring out what I want.
319
00:16:21,419 --> 00:16:24,884
You know? I've had some trouble
trying to figure that out,
320
00:16:24,885 --> 00:16:27,598
and, if I'm being honest,
sometimes I wish I hadn't crossed
321
00:16:27,599 --> 00:16:30,186
some of the that lines I did,
you know, and...
322
00:16:30,187 --> 00:16:34,153
and I feel like
I wish I had never had sex.
323
00:16:35,823 --> 00:16:38,160
I just think about myself,
like, before I had sex,
324
00:16:38,161 --> 00:16:40,331
like, I was so happy.
325
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:43,378
Like, I remember it.
I was just, like, so...
326
00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:48,263
just pure and, like,
and I just, like...
327
00:16:48,264 --> 00:16:51,102
like, I loved, like, every movie.
328
00:16:51,103 --> 00:16:52,898
You know? Like, if there was a movie on,
329
00:16:52,899 --> 00:16:55,820
I was just, like,
"Look at that. They did it."
330
00:16:55,821 --> 00:16:59,452
Like, I was just happy for, like,
the production, you know?
331
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:03,252
And then I has sex and I just started to,
like, hate everything,
332
00:17:03,253 --> 00:17:06,592
and I just started seeing
all these plot holes,
333
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:09,682
'cause it's, like, once you have sex,
you just...
334
00:17:09,683 --> 00:17:11,936
you just care about plot.
335
00:17:11,937 --> 00:17:13,147
And, um...
336
00:17:14,149 --> 00:17:16,152
Yeah. So I don't know, I‐‐
337
00:17:16,153 --> 00:17:17,991
I just feel like I, um...
338
00:17:19,243 --> 00:17:22,291
I wanna get back to that,
I wanna...
339
00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:25,922
I wanna just, you know,
spend some time with me
340
00:17:25,923 --> 00:17:29,138
and then figure out
what I want from someone else.
341
00:17:32,019 --> 00:17:34,439
Well, I think
it's a really attractive quality
342
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,528
when a guy can recognize his faults.
343
00:17:37,112 --> 00:17:40,075
Yeah? Well, I mean, I‐‐
344
00:17:40,076 --> 00:17:42,163
I have a lot of faults, and, you know,
345
00:17:42,164 --> 00:17:43,876
recognize 'em a lot.
346
00:17:44,753 --> 00:17:48,091
You can turn to God at any time
and ask for forgiveness.
347
00:17:48,092 --> 00:17:49,721
No strings attached.
348
00:17:54,104 --> 00:17:57,318
So how much of the Qur'an
do you have memorized?
349
00:17:57,319 --> 00:18:00,575
How many suras?
You know, the classics.
350
00:18:00,576 --> 00:18:02,453
And beyond those?
351
00:18:02,454 --> 00:18:04,500
You do read Arabic, right?
352
00:18:06,045 --> 00:18:08,132
I‐I read the Qur'an in English.
353
00:18:09,928 --> 00:18:12,473
I want my kids to read Arabic.
354
00:18:12,474 --> 00:18:14,853
Totally, no, I think they should,
I mean, I think that you could,
355
00:18:14,854 --> 00:18:17,483
you know,
you got to teach the kids Arabic,
356
00:18:17,484 --> 00:18:19,278
and I actually feel like when I have kids,
357
00:18:19,279 --> 00:18:21,241
I'll just‐‐
I'll take the class with them.
358
00:18:21,242 --> 00:18:23,663
So this way,
it's like a bonding thing,
359
00:18:23,664 --> 00:18:26,000
like me and them, and‐‐
360
00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:28,923
and then they're like,
"Wow, Dad's still learning too,"
361
00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:30,635
I think is a valuable lesson.
362
00:18:30,636 --> 00:18:33,516
The adult brain stops developing
at twenty‐five,
363
00:18:33,517 --> 00:18:35,604
so it's much harder
to learn languages.
364
00:18:36,523 --> 00:18:37,984
It'll never stick.
365
00:18:52,847 --> 00:18:54,266
Fuck.
366
00:18:56,395 --> 00:18:57,564
Mom.
367
00:18:57,565 --> 00:19:00,152
Why didn't anybody wake me up?
I didn't get to eat anything.
368
00:19:00,153 --> 00:19:02,448
I tried to wake you up,
369
00:19:02,449 --> 00:19:04,076
but you kept sleeping.
370
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:06,039
Why didn't you try harder?
371
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,878
I tried, but you said
you were very tired.
372
00:19:08,879 --> 00:19:11,717
Y‐You believed me?
I'm gonna be hungry all day now.
373
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,679
I know you're trying to take Ramadan
seriously and all,
374
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,307
but getting angry breaks your fast,
375
00:19:15,308 --> 00:19:18,981
so you might as well just eat something
if you're gonna be a basic bitch.
376
00:19:18,982 --> 00:19:22,071
You're not even fasting.
I know you're not. This is‐whatever.
377
00:19:22,072 --> 00:19:23,866
I'll make you some koshary tonight.
378
00:19:23,867 --> 00:19:26,037
No, Mom, I'm just gonna eat
at the mosque, okay?
379
00:19:26,038 --> 00:19:27,874
They'll... have food.
380
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,127
I'm fasting.
381
00:19:37,895 --> 00:19:39,438
Salaam alaykum, brother.
382
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,442
Peace and blessings be upon you.
383
00:19:41,443 --> 00:19:43,573
Walaikum salaam.
384
00:19:43,574 --> 00:19:44,909
How's your Ramadan?
385
00:19:46,245 --> 00:19:48,373
You know, honestly,
it's not really been that great.
386
00:19:48,374 --> 00:19:50,712
It's been‐‐
MO: We're good, bro, all right?
387
00:19:50,713 --> 00:19:52,716
Salaams, brother.
Yeah, walaikum salaam, bro,
388
00:19:52,717 --> 00:19:54,077
I see you, okay?
389
00:19:56,558 --> 00:19:57,559
Come on, man, let's go.
390
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,521
Don't be a fuckin' idiot.
He's undercover, bro.
391
00:19:59,522 --> 00:20:01,107
What? Dude's Dominican.
392
00:20:01,108 --> 00:20:02,611
Straight‐up Dominican.
393
00:20:02,612 --> 00:20:04,948
FBI's not even trying anymore.
They're fuckin' lazy.
394
00:20:04,949 --> 00:20:06,535
Stop.
Just puttin' anybody in here now.
395
00:20:06,536 --> 00:20:07,871
Yeah, he is. Hundred percent.
396
00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:09,666
Who says "Salam alaykum"
and "Peace be upon you"?
397
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,962
Muslims. Muslims say that.
Nobody says it twice.
398
00:20:11,963 --> 00:20:14,885
He said it twice. Translated it for you.
Who translated that?
399
00:20:14,886 --> 00:20:17,431
By the way, you really fucked up
that thing with Farida. Okay?
400
00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:19,393
Ahmed's over there rescheduling
other dudes.
401
00:20:19,394 --> 00:20:21,523
I‐dude, I don't care
about that, man. That‐‐.
402
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,903
That was messed up, dude.
That really put me in my head.
403
00:20:23,904 --> 00:20:26,407
It's all mental, bro.
Get over it.
404
00:20:26,408 --> 00:20:28,161
- I work with food all day.
- Excuse me.
405
00:20:28,162 --> 00:20:30,290
- Do you have a silver Camry?
- I bet this women can't find her kid
406
00:20:30,291 --> 00:20:32,127
or something.
Excuse me, do you have a silver Camry?
407
00:20:32,128 --> 00:20:33,589
What is she complaining about now?
408
00:20:33,590 --> 00:20:35,300
Dude. Honestly,
they can't find their kids
409
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:36,804
'cause they let them
run around everywhere,
410
00:20:36,805 --> 00:20:38,306
we need, like, a kidnapping
at this mosque.
411
00:20:38,307 --> 00:20:40,687
Just one kid's got to go
so that everyone can learn.
412
00:20:40,688 --> 00:20:43,859
Oh my‐kidnapping?
It's Ramadan, bro, have some compassion.
413
00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:45,404
Although it might work.
414
00:20:45,405 --> 00:20:46,699
Do you have a silver Camry?
415
00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:48,619
- All right, just make me a plate.
- Make you what? Where you goin'?
416
00:20:48,620 --> 00:20:50,163
Just make me one, dude.
I'll be right back.
417
00:20:50,164 --> 00:20:51,792
Dude,
I was just kidding. Ramy!
418
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,546
Does anyone here
have a silver Camry?
419
00:20:53,547 --> 00:20:56,719
There has to be a silver Camry,
because it's blocking my car.
420
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,558
I know someone has a silver Camry.
Do you know anyone who has it?
421
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:02,146
Sister, hey,
422
00:21:02,147 --> 00:21:04,025
is there something I can help you with?
423
00:21:04,026 --> 00:21:05,737
No, do you have a silver Camry?
424
00:21:05,738 --> 00:21:07,657
No, I don't.
425
00:21:07,658 --> 00:21:09,285
I‐It's‐‐.
426
00:21:09,286 --> 00:21:11,205
My car is penned in the parking lot,
427
00:21:11,206 --> 00:21:13,878
and it's penned by a silver Camry,
and I need to get home‐‐
428
00:21:13,879 --> 00:21:15,965
All right, sister, we can just have
the mosque make an announcement,
429
00:21:15,966 --> 00:21:17,761
and I'm sure we'll find‐‐
WIFE: An announcement?
430
00:21:17,762 --> 00:21:19,598
Do you think anyone here listens
to announcements at this mosque?
431
00:21:19,599 --> 00:21:21,810
It's just, like, do you even come here?
432
00:21:22,855 --> 00:21:24,399
I need to get home.
433
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:27,071
My son needs his insulin,
434
00:21:27,072 --> 00:21:29,785
and I did not put it in my purse today
435
00:21:29,786 --> 00:21:31,412
and he might go into shock,
436
00:21:31,413 --> 00:21:36,089
and of course, today
my husband decides to travel, again, um...
437
00:21:36,090 --> 00:21:38,301
All right, look, it‐it's gonna be okay.
We'll just‐We'll figure it out‐‐
438
00:21:38,302 --> 00:21:40,138
You know what? No. Thank you.
Thank you. I will‐‐
439
00:21:40,139 --> 00:21:42,017
I am just gonna carry‐‐
I'm gonna carry him
440
00:21:42,018 --> 00:21:43,562
'cause I live two blocks‐‐
Can you just‐‐.
441
00:21:43,563 --> 00:21:44,773
Excuse me. Excuse me.
442
00:21:44,774 --> 00:21:47,655
I live two blocks away, I'm good.
Thank you.
443
00:21:50,661 --> 00:21:52,246
Thank you. Thanks again.
444
00:21:52,247 --> 00:21:53,290
Yeah.
445
00:21:55,044 --> 00:21:56,839
I'm, uh, Salma, by the way,
446
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,176
and you're... you're holding Ali.
447
00:21:59,177 --> 00:22:01,013
Yeah, I'm Ramy. Ramy. Hi.
448
00:22:01,014 --> 00:22:03,853
How many blocks did you say this is?
It's just a few more.
449
00:22:03,854 --> 00:22:06,440
Okay.
If you could just walk a tad bit faster,
450
00:22:06,441 --> 00:22:08,988
then we'll just‐‐
I'm tryin'. Yeah.
451
00:22:08,989 --> 00:22:10,950
- He's a little heavier than he looks.
452
00:22:10,951 --> 00:22:11,953
Okay.
453
00:22:17,046 --> 00:22:18,883
He's doing all right now.
454
00:22:18,884 --> 00:22:22,139
Thank you. I was thinking
I should have just called a Lyft.
455
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:24,645
This Ramadan brain
is really getting to me.
456
00:22:25,479 --> 00:22:28,443
Moms should be exempt from fasting.
457
00:22:28,444 --> 00:22:30,866
Uh... yeah.
458
00:22:33,663 --> 00:22:35,666
Oh, shit, I am so sorry.
459
00:22:35,667 --> 00:22:38,379
I, uh, I'm so sorry,
I take it off,
460
00:22:38,380 --> 00:22:41,177
um, as soon as I get back, and‐‐
It's okay. It's okay.
461
00:22:41,178 --> 00:22:43,389
Would you judge me
if I didn't put it back on?
462
00:22:43,390 --> 00:22:45,728
- No. No. Not at all.
- Are you sure?
463
00:22:45,729 --> 00:22:47,022
Yeah.
464
00:22:47,023 --> 00:22:48,943
I should get goin' anyway.
I still haven't eaten.
465
00:22:48,944 --> 00:22:50,571
Oh, fuck.
You must be starving.
466
00:22:50,572 --> 00:22:54,871
Oh, sh‐Let me just get you a snack
before you go.
467
00:22:54,872 --> 00:22:56,875
It's the least I can do.
468
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,505
All right.
469
00:22:59,464 --> 00:23:01,342
Here we go.
470
00:23:01,343 --> 00:23:03,180
Uh, you need this.
471
00:23:04,432 --> 00:23:05,811
Trust me.
472
00:23:12,574 --> 00:23:14,996
Oh, fuck, man. Mm.
473
00:23:16,373 --> 00:23:18,418
This is, like, really fucking good.
474
00:23:18,419 --> 00:23:20,338
Mm. Did you get the jelly part?
475
00:23:20,339 --> 00:23:21,883
Mm‐hm.
Are you there yet?
476
00:23:21,884 --> 00:23:24,305
Why do I not eat this every day?
477
00:23:24,306 --> 00:23:25,808
Your son eats these every day?
478
00:23:25,809 --> 00:23:28,396
- I eat them every day.
- You eat them every day?
479
00:23:28,397 --> 00:23:29,942
I eat them every day.
480
00:23:31,445 --> 00:23:33,157
This is really
Mm.
481
00:23:34,284 --> 00:23:35,327
Mm.
482
00:23:35,328 --> 00:23:37,666
This is really nice, actually.
483
00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:41,506
I haven't had a meal
with another adult in a while.
484
00:23:41,507 --> 00:23:44,386
- How 'bout your husband?
- My husband.
485
00:23:44,387 --> 00:23:47,225
He's more like my roommate
at this point, basically.
486
00:23:47,226 --> 00:23:48,896
That's what he is.
487
00:23:48,897 --> 00:23:51,275
He rolls in whenever he wants,
488
00:23:51,276 --> 00:23:53,739
expects me to hand over
half my paycheck,
489
00:23:53,740 --> 00:23:56,369
expects me to raise Ali
single‐handedly...
490
00:23:56,370 --> 00:23:58,624
Sometimes...
491
00:23:58,625 --> 00:24:03,967
I really wish he was like an old‐school
misogynist, ya know? Like our dads?
492
00:24:03,968 --> 00:24:06,430
Just expect a hot meal
at the end of the day,
493
00:24:06,431 --> 00:24:09,646
clean house, good kid...
494
00:24:09,647 --> 00:24:13,361
Nowadays, guys expect you to work
on top of everything else.
495
00:24:13,362 --> 00:24:14,823
Mmm.
496
00:24:14,824 --> 00:24:18,287
Yeah, I think that's what we need,
like, just some more old‐school misogyny.
497
00:24:18,288 --> 00:24:20,083
That'd be awesome.
498
00:24:20,084 --> 00:24:22,337
Nowadays I feel like
we don't have enough.
499
00:24:22,338 --> 00:24:23,567
We don't have enough.
500
00:24:23,568 --> 00:24:25,260
No, sometimes I'm like,
"Where'd they go?
501
00:24:25,261 --> 00:24:28,100
We're missin' that.
Let's bring that back."
502
00:24:29,603 --> 00:24:31,691
I'm sorry. I'm venting.
503
00:24:33,402 --> 00:24:34,404
It's okay.
504
00:24:35,197 --> 00:24:37,952
You seem like one of the good ones,
so I'm sorry.
505
00:24:37,953 --> 00:24:39,832
I don't know, I mean...
506
00:24:41,042 --> 00:24:43,297
I'm trying to be good. But...
507
00:24:50,060 --> 00:24:52,315
Can I ask you for one more favor?
508
00:24:53,275 --> 00:24:54,570
Yeah.
509
00:25:30,809 --> 00:25:33,313
Are you a bad guy?
39577
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.