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1
00:01:30,260 --> 00:01:32,460
Do you think l look lesbian?
2
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:37,660
The Home Office always deals with
fake weddings. Maybe they can tell.
3
00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:42,060
- What time are they coming?
- Half three. Lance is climbing the wall.
4
00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:44,460
lt's probably just routine.
5
00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:47,660
- Yeah.
- Anyway, thanks for the lift.
6
00:01:48,660 --> 00:01:51,660
Now, you look after your mother,
big fella.
7
00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:02,860
See ya.
8
00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:11,660
You might want to check out the Sahara.
lt's more robust.
9
00:02:11,660 --> 00:02:13,660
l'm thinking family man.
10
00:02:13,860 --> 00:02:16,260
- l like this one.
- Just think Sahara.
11
00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:18,860
lt's more expensive but the Sport,
12
00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:21,460
you get a lot of gay guys
buying this one.
13
00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:26,060
OK, they're cutting edge. But a man
like yourself, l'm thinking image.
14
00:02:27,260 --> 00:02:30,260
- l like this one.
- Those lads - money to burn.
15
00:02:30,460 --> 00:02:33,060
Then they die young
so we get the resale value.
16
00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:36,260
Take it for a spin
and sign this when you get back.
17
00:02:41,460 --> 00:02:43,460
(Engine revving)
18
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:00,460
Where do l sign?
19
00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:04,460
l'm back. Have you missed me?
20
00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:06,660
- How was Scotland?
- Scottish.
21
00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:10,460
So, er, what's the news, Mr Tyler, sir?
22
00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:12,860
Refrigeration's gonna close.
Ten jobs gone.
23
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,660
Not shop news, l don't want shop news.
24
00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:18,260
l want news.
25
00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:20,660
Jill, Rosalie...
26
00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:24,060
- Steady the buffers, she's back!
- Hiya! How you doin'?
27
00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:28,260
(Rosalie) No.
(Marcie) You must have.
28
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:32,860
(Rosalie) He did, cos l was watching.
lt was revolting!
29
00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:35,660
- Vince?!
- (Laughter)
30
00:03:39,860 --> 00:03:43,660
Wilfred Owen was shot dead
on the 4th of November, 1918,
31
00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:46,060
just seven days before the armistice.
32
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:50,260
Thing is, sir, he was queer, Wilfred Owen.
Says so in the front.
33
00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:53,860
You can't teach us about poofs.
You're not allowed.
34
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:57,260
Thank you, it's got nothing to do
with his poetry.
35
00:03:57,260 --> 00:04:01,660
Though no doubt he found lots to do
in the trenches other than fight.
36
00:04:01,860 --> 00:04:05,660
Sir, they all said, ''Here comes Owen!
Backs to the wall!''
37
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:09,660
Thank you, Christian. Now, if you could
look at the preface of 1918 -
38
00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:15,460
''My subject is war, the pity of war,
the poetry is in the pity.''
39
00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:18,660
Cos l can leave.
As soon as l'm 16, l'm leaving.
40
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:22,060
lf me and Dazz get that flat,
l'll get a job in the Village.
41
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:25,460
l'll get bar work.
They never ask your age, Dazz said.
42
00:04:33,660 --> 00:04:36,260
- What was that about?
- Nothing.
43
00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:40,460
- Was he looking at me?
- lt's not always you.
44
00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:45,460
Did l tell you? Gary's moved in.
45
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,460
Mum asked him last week.
46
00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:49,660
Moved in weekend.
47
00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:53,260
Like you care.
48
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:56,460
lt's all Nathan and Dazz.
Dazz and the flat and the Village.
49
00:04:56,460 --> 00:05:00,660
Me, l could be bleeding from the eyes.
50
00:05:02,660 --> 00:05:04,460
Sorry.
51
00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:06,660
So, how's it going?
52
00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:09,260
Me mum's happy.
You should hear 'em at night.
53
00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:15,860
He keeps walking out
the bathroom naked.
54
00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:19,660
- (Phone)
- Drove it straight through the window!
55
00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:21,660
They've been shouting all sorts.
56
00:05:21,860 --> 00:05:25,260
''We're suing for damages.
Put me through to Mr Burton.''
57
00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:28,060
- What did Burton say?
- He said, ''Fuck them.''
58
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:33,460
He did. He said, ''We'll counter sue and
we'll tell the papers what your man said.
59
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:36,460
''You're up against a PR company now.''
60
00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:38,660
Lisa Levine, says it's urgent.
61
00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:42,260
- What's happening?
- They arrived early, just walked in.
62
00:05:42,460 --> 00:05:46,660
No smiles, no tea, straight down
to business. lt's looking good.
63
00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:51,460
Hang on, l'll get you on the mobile.
Sandra, cancel everything this afternoon.
64
00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:55,060
- l'm going out.
- Where? Ram raiding?
65
00:05:55,260 --> 00:05:57,260
Hey, get me a stereo.
66
00:05:58,460 --> 00:06:00,060
So, what have they said?
67
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:04,860
lt's confidential. They asked me to leave.
Lance said l'm the baby-sitter.
68
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,860
Hold on.
69
00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:12,460
So have they got the letters?
70
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:16,860
- They've got something... Oh, yes.
- 'What's happening?'
71
00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:19,260
What the fuck's happening? Lisa!
72
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:21,660
That's it. Come on, Lance.
73
00:06:21,860 --> 00:06:25,460
'Jesus Christ, you stupid dyke,
tell me what's happening!'
74
00:06:25,460 --> 00:06:27,860
(Gasps) Fantastic!
75
00:06:29,260 --> 00:06:31,460
Lisa? Lisa!
76
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:45,660
(Romey) He's gone through
all the official channels.
77
00:06:45,660 --> 00:06:47,660
Was it you?
78
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:50,660
- Was it you?
- What? l got this for Alfred.
79
00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:55,260
- Someone told them, Stuart, was it you?
- Told them what?
80
00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:58,260
- lt's a mistake...
- (Lisa) Quite a temper, our Lance.
81
00:06:58,260 --> 00:07:02,260
Punched the man from the Home Office,
then punched the arresting officer.
82
00:07:05,060 --> 00:07:08,060
l think his visa application
is officially null and void.
83
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:12,460
- Lisa, go with him. He'll need a solicitor.
- l can't, l'm involved.
84
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:15,860
- He needs you!
- l'll phone the office.
85
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:20,860
Of course it was you! You never liked
him, never wanted him in that house.
86
00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:25,860
- l don't know what you're talking about.
- They knew the wedding was a fake.
87
00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:28,260
They had my things from the house.
88
00:07:30,860 --> 00:07:33,660
Mr Jordan, who told you?
Who gave you the letters?
89
00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:39,260
l'm not allowed to say - but if you see
Nathan Maloney, tell him thanks a bunch.
90
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,460
Nathan?
91
00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:45,460
(Mobile phone)
92
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:49,060
Hello?
93
00:07:55,860 --> 00:07:57,860
lt was your tie.
94
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:03,860
There was a man on Changing Rooms
last night wearing the same tie.
95
00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:06,660
We were laughing at your tie.
96
00:08:07,660 --> 00:08:11,260
l haven't said anything,
in case you're wondering.
97
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:14,060
But if you're ashamed,
then it's up to you.
98
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:17,260
- l'm not ashamed.
- You're not exactly proud, Vince.
99
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:23,260
Carter sent this.
He wants it back Monday.
100
00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:25,260
Yeah. Thanks.
101
00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:31,860
lt's not that bad. Your tie.
102
00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:36,060
Yeah. lt didn't cost much.
103
00:08:36,260 --> 00:08:38,060
Bargain. l got it from...
104
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,460
Hazel! We've got lesbians.
105
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,460
And l'm out of herbal tea.
106
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,260
Nathan!
107
00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:59,660
You treat that baby like a toy,
like you don't care.
108
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:02,460
And Lance? Lance'd take over.
109
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:05,460
He'd be dad and you'd say nothing.
110
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:07,460
But l know what you're like.
111
00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:11,660
You love him and you'd never say,
so l said it for you.
112
00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:14,660
- Lance is going to be deported.
- l don't care!
113
00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:16,460
Jesus Christ.
114
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:20,860
l don't give a toss about Lance.
Look at all l've done - left my family,
115
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:25,060
- left Donna, just for you.
- Keeps going back to you, Stuart.
116
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:29,860
- How was l to know?
- lt's all your fault cos you just shag!
117
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:33,060
You keep going every night
and you never look back.
118
00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:36,060
Look at what you've done, look at him.
119
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:40,460
l didn't know, Romey.
lf l'd known, l'd have...
120
00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:43,260
l don't know.
121
00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:45,460
And l chose you as the father.
122
00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:50,860
You chose Lance as the husband
and look at him.
123
00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:53,060
Slightest trouble, out with the fists.
124
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:57,060
Do you want a man like that
living with your kid?
125
00:09:57,060 --> 00:09:59,060
Maybe not.
126
00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:09,060
- You all right, then, stranger?
- Yeah. Thanks for that.
127
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,060
l just...
128
00:10:12,260 --> 00:10:14,260
l dunno.
129
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,460
Keep waiting for the punch line.
130
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,260
No, l'm not complaining.
131
00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:25,060
l like art. l'm good at art.
132
00:10:25,260 --> 00:10:28,460
Those pictures of dogs playing poker,
l love 'em.
133
00:10:28,660 --> 00:10:31,260
Magic Eye pictures, fantastic.
134
00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:33,860
l saw one once, it was a duck.
135
00:10:35,060 --> 00:10:37,460
You looked for long enough
and there was a duck.
136
00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:39,660
Brilliant. Worth millions.
137
00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:42,460
l've just got to stay for the speech.
138
00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:46,060
No, fine. Me and art, we're like that.
139
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:49,660
Art Garfunkel.
Bright Eyes, burning like fire.
140
00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:55,260
Now, there's a film.
Apparently, those rabbits weren't real.
141
00:10:55,460 --> 00:10:56,860
Fooled me.
142
00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:04,060
- All right, let's go.
- Don't be daft.
143
00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:07,260
l can be in the same room.
144
00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:16,660
Stuart.
145
00:11:23,860 --> 00:11:25,860
We could go to Canal Street.
146
00:11:25,860 --> 00:11:28,660
- What, and then go back to yours?
- Sure.
147
00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:32,060
- Mariner's Court, yeah?
- Mm.
148
00:11:32,260 --> 00:11:35,060
l've been there.
Must have made a big impression.
149
00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:37,460
Oh, right!
150
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:40,060
Right, yeah. Course you have, yeah.
151
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:43,260
Nice to see you again.
152
00:11:43,260 --> 00:11:48,060
Listen, what? Do you wanna go?
Do you wanna, er...
153
00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:50,460
- Let's go and have a drink.
- Forget it.
154
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:55,060
- Let's go back to mine.
- Just fuck off, OK?
155
00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:58,060
Come on, l bet l was good.
156
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:02,060
l said fuck off. Now, what part of that
don't you understand?
157
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:21,060
Pathetic.
158
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:54,260
Let's get a cab.
159
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,260
(Vince) He's all bloody image.
160
00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:02,860
We were in Babylon once, off our heads,
Alexander's going mental.
161
00:13:03,060 --> 00:13:06,460
So we ended up dancing on a podium,
you know, like twats.
162
00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:08,860
We looked stupid, so what?
163
00:13:08,860 --> 00:13:13,060
But Stuart, he just walks away
like we're dirt.
164
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:18,860
- l got those brochures for Australia.
- Oh, right. Yeah, great.
165
00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:20,860
Expensive.
166
00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:24,460
- l'll pay.
- Yeah. Well, we'll see.
167
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:29,260
And this bloke at Mardi Gras, right?
Stuart's been out all weekend,
168
00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:31,460
he's had ketamine and God knows what.
169
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:34,260
He sees this bloke,
he says, ''l'm having him.''
170
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:41,860
l love you.
171
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,260
Right, do you want sex?
172
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:54,860
l suppose l owe you a favour. Come on.
173
00:13:57,860 --> 00:13:59,660
l didn't do it for a shag.
174
00:14:01,460 --> 00:14:03,460
Nathan,
175
00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:05,460
it's all l've got to offer.
176
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:08,460
How many men's had sex in here?
177
00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:12,660
Twenty-seven...million.
178
00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:17,260
l was just on tap.
179
00:14:17,260 --> 00:14:19,460
You don't even like me.
180
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:23,860
- You're not so bad.
- Really?
181
00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:28,660
Well, let's just say
you're not the twat l thought you were.
182
00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:31,060
ls that all?
183
00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:33,460
That's all.
184
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,460
Yeah, well. One day.
185
00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:42,060
Oh, yeah.
186
00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:48,460
Ten years' time, l'll be pushing 40,
you'll be 25. Jesus!
187
00:14:50,660 --> 00:14:52,460
l can wait.
188
00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:57,860
l'm off.
189
00:14:58,060 --> 00:15:00,460
l've got school.
190
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:04,860
Have a coffee.
191
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:07,660
- What for?
- l don't know.
192
00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:11,260
What does anyone ever have coffee for?
lt's just coffee.
193
00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:13,660
l'd better go.
194
00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:17,460
- We could watch a video.
- Not porn.
195
00:15:18,860 --> 00:15:20,660
lt's not always porn.
196
00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:29,060
- Stay for a bit.
- Do you want me to?
197
00:15:36,260 --> 00:15:40,060
- Do you want me to stay?
- l don't mind.
198
00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:42,660
Do you really want me to stay?
199
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:46,460
Yeah.
200
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,660
Who'd have thought?
201
00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:53,660
Stuart Alan Jones, begging me to stay.
202
00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:58,660
lf you think that's begging, you'd better
never find yourself homeless.
203
00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:02,060
& But when the morning comes
204
00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:04,260
& Don't say you love me
205
00:16:04,460 --> 00:16:07,460
& Don't say you need me
206
00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:09,660
& l really don't think that's fair
207
00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:12,860
& Boy, l'm not so dumb... &
208
00:16:39,860 --> 00:16:41,660
l'm gonna be late.
209
00:16:41,860 --> 00:16:44,860
Where's that folder, the blue folder?
210
00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:47,860
Shit. The traffic this time of day.
211
00:16:48,860 --> 00:16:51,060
Right. l'm off.
212
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,660
You all right? You've got the keys.
213
00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:56,860
Careful with the door,
it needs pulling. See you.
214
00:16:57,060 --> 00:17:01,060
- You don't have to say anything back.
- Yeah. God, l'm late.
215
00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:04,860
The door needs pulling.
l've said that, haven't l? Bye!
216
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:21,860
(Mobile phone)
217
00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:36,860
- What?
- Thought l'd better say thanks.
218
00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,460
For K-9.
219
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:43,260
l mean, he's great
220
00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:47,460
and l know the circumstances
were a bit sort of...
221
00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:51,260
'Well, he's great. Or it's great. Whatever.'
222
00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:54,260
He. l think Tom Baker says ''he''.
223
00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:58,060
So...thanks.
224
00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:00,660
Any time.
225
00:18:02,860 --> 00:18:04,660
Better go.
226
00:18:41,660 --> 00:18:43,860
(Rings)
227
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,660
What are you doing for lunch?
228
00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:53,260
Rosalie won't say anything
but l've still got to look at her.
229
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:56,260
l've got to spend every day
telling her what to do and...
230
00:18:58,860 --> 00:19:02,260
- How's Cameron?
- He's great, yeah.
231
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:05,060
Wants me to go on holiday. Melbourne.
232
00:19:05,260 --> 00:19:06,860
Sounds good.
233
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:09,060
Poor sod. Give him six months,
234
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:12,660
he'll be able to name
all the Doctor Whos in order.
235
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,660
William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton,
Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker,
236
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:17,860
Peter Davison, Colin Baker,
Sylvester McCoy.
237
00:19:18,060 --> 00:19:19,260
What about Paul McGann?
238
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:22,060
(Both) Paul McGann doesn't count.
239
00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:31,260
lt's all right, though.
Me and Cameron. lt's OK.
240
00:19:31,460 --> 00:19:34,660
lt's a bit of a love job, actually.
Says he loves me.
241
00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:39,860
How's things with you? How's Alfred?
242
00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:48,260
lt pisses me off, though.
243
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:51,660
First one to say love,
he's in charge, puts him in charge.
244
00:19:52,860 --> 00:19:55,260
l don't know.
245
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,460
lt's all a bit grown-up.
246
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:02,460
You're supposed to ask if l love him.
247
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:06,060
You can't. You can't even respect him.
248
00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:08,860
He loves Vince Tyler
so that makes him stupid.
249
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,860
The moment he said it, it all just died.
250
00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:15,060
No. lt's nothing like that.
251
00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:25,460
Me, though?
252
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:28,860
l can't be the best shag he's ever had.
He's Australian.
253
00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:32,460
l don't even know if l'm a good kisser.
254
00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:35,060
How do you know
if you're a good kisser?
255
00:20:35,060 --> 00:20:37,060
You just know.
256
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:40,460
Fuck off.
257
00:20:41,660 --> 00:20:45,860
- lt's not as if l've ever done anything.
- You've done nothing.
258
00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:48,260
You go to work, you go for a drink,
259
00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:50,460
you watch cheap science fiction.
260
00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:55,660
Small and tiny world. What's impressive
about that? What is there to love?
261
00:20:57,460 --> 00:20:59,260
Yeah.
262
00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:04,260
lt was good enough for me.
263
00:21:14,260 --> 00:21:17,060
l'm late. l've gotta go.
264
00:21:17,260 --> 00:21:20,260
Tell him what you like.
You're in charge, not him.
265
00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:23,460
Tell him, er...
266
00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:26,060
Tell him he's lucky. l'll see you around.
267
00:21:26,260 --> 00:21:29,060
- We could do this again.
- Do you think?
268
00:21:29,060 --> 00:21:31,260
Just lunch. No harm in it.
269
00:21:33,060 --> 00:21:34,860
Nah.
270
00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:37,860
Sorry, Vince, but my world is huge.
271
00:21:49,060 --> 00:21:51,260
Do you think Hazel will let me stay?
272
00:21:52,460 --> 00:21:55,060
Not permanent, just tonight.
273
00:21:55,260 --> 00:21:59,060
Gary's got his mates round.
lt's like a bomb's hit Chester Zoo.
274
00:21:59,060 --> 00:22:02,260
Police cars, broken legs,
lesbians screaming,
275
00:22:02,260 --> 00:22:06,260
Lance shipped out the country -
your mother had a front-row seat!
276
00:22:06,460 --> 00:22:09,460
- You never said.
- l don't see you any more.
277
00:22:09,660 --> 00:22:13,060
No, you're Mr Grown-Up now,
it's all dinner for two.
278
00:22:13,260 --> 00:22:17,260
Don't worry about us, we're still here,
still having a laugh.
279
00:22:17,460 --> 00:22:21,860
Now, don't say that about Cameron,
l think he's lovely.
280
00:22:22,060 --> 00:22:24,260
That's not fair, he's a very nice man!
281
00:22:24,460 --> 00:22:26,460
Hiya, l was just coming round.
282
00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:29,660
- You're on form!
- When am l not?
283
00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:31,860
There you go.
284
00:22:31,860 --> 00:22:35,060
Don't look. By the pillar,
it's Christian Hobbs.
285
00:22:35,260 --> 00:22:37,460
- Who's he with?
- That's Cathy Mott.
286
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:41,660
He's done all right.
She's top of the list, Year 12.
287
00:22:41,660 --> 00:22:46,060
- What are they doing here, though?
- He's out to impress.
288
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:49,660
Canal Street, it's New York to Year 12.
289
00:22:49,860 --> 00:22:52,460
Like he's so cool. Tosser!
290
00:22:53,860 --> 00:22:56,260
(& Karaoke:
Should l Stay Or Should l Go? )
291
00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:01,460
l had to see Hazel, l owed her a tenner.
292
00:23:01,660 --> 00:23:03,460
l thought you'd go to ground.
293
00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:06,260
My fault. l always get a bit heavy.
294
00:23:09,060 --> 00:23:12,060
& And if l stay it will be double
295
00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:15,860
& So you gotta let me know... &
296
00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:21,260
He smiled at me!
The bastard smiled at me!
297
00:23:22,260 --> 00:23:25,660
- Do you want to go?
- What's the point of staying here?
298
00:23:29,860 --> 00:23:33,660
& And if l stay it will be double... &
299
00:23:33,860 --> 00:23:38,460
- Coming, then?
- What, like l've been driven out?
300
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:41,860
What's this place for, Donna?
What's it for?
301
00:23:42,060 --> 00:23:46,860
So l'm stood in Battersea Power Station
in nothing but me Tommy Hilfiger pants
302
00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:48,660
when he comes back in.
303
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:51,460
Oh, blimey! lt's little Jimmy Osmond!
304
00:23:52,860 --> 00:23:56,660
Settle down, here's a lad wants a go.
Come on, give him a chance.
305
00:23:56,860 --> 00:23:59,060
(& l Should Be So Lucky)
306
00:24:08,260 --> 00:24:10,260
Cos l just wanted to say...
307
00:24:14,660 --> 00:24:20,460
Cos that boy over there. Checked shirt,
white T-shirt, with the blonde girl, him.
308
00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:23,860
l'm in school with him.
His name is Christian Hobbs.
309
00:24:24,060 --> 00:24:26,860
And Christian Hobbs,
do you know what he does?
310
00:24:26,860 --> 00:24:31,460
He finds a boy, and if that boy's
a bit quiet, if he's a bit different,
311
00:24:31,660 --> 00:24:35,660
Christian Hobbs kicks his head in
and he calls him queer.
312
00:24:35,860 --> 00:24:40,260
That boy there.
He beats us up cos we're queer.
313
00:24:41,460 --> 00:24:43,860
Plenty more l could have said, Christian.
314
00:24:43,860 --> 00:24:46,060
And that's a favour.
315
00:24:46,060 --> 00:24:49,860
Oi, sonny Jim, that's your cue.
Now, fuck off out.
316
00:24:50,060 --> 00:24:51,860
Piss off.
317
00:24:52,060 --> 00:24:56,060
l think that's what they call
the public service announcement!
318
00:24:56,260 --> 00:24:58,260
We've had a party!
319
00:24:58,460 --> 00:25:02,060
He's here! He's queer!
l'm buyin' him a beer!
320
00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:05,660
Hazel, l was thinking, it's been great
and l hope you don't mind
321
00:25:05,860 --> 00:25:08,060
but l think l might move back home.
322
00:25:08,060 --> 00:25:10,260
Bugger it, that's the rent money gone!
323
00:25:10,460 --> 00:25:13,860
Ooh, look at me, l'm filling up, l'm moist.
Can l have his room?
324
00:25:14,060 --> 00:25:16,060
You're dancing, you are!
325
00:25:18,460 --> 00:25:20,860
(& Ultra Nate: Found A Cure)
326
00:25:21,060 --> 00:25:23,460
& Na-na-na-na, na na na... &
327
00:25:24,260 --> 00:25:26,460
Shake a leg, Bernie, let's show 'em!
328
00:25:28,460 --> 00:25:32,060
& Feels like l'm going crazy
& Na-na-na-na
329
00:25:32,060 --> 00:25:35,860
& Feels like l'm going insane
& Na-na-na-na
330
00:25:39,260 --> 00:25:40,660
& Na-na-na-na... &
331
00:25:40,860 --> 00:25:43,860
See those two? That's us in 40 years!
332
00:25:44,060 --> 00:25:46,460
That's me with the moustache!
333
00:25:46,660 --> 00:25:49,260
& Feels like l'm going insane... &
334
00:25:50,660 --> 00:25:52,660
Fifteen.
335
00:25:52,660 --> 00:25:54,860
(Both) Yeah.
336
00:25:55,060 --> 00:25:56,660
Bastard.
337
00:25:56,860 --> 00:26:00,860
& Feels like l'm going crazy
& Na-na-na-na
338
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:04,660
& Feels like l'm going insane
& Na-na-na-na... &
339
00:26:09,060 --> 00:26:11,860
Marcie, can you take that to wages?
340
00:26:12,060 --> 00:26:15,660
- What did your last slave die of?
- A good beating.
341
00:26:15,660 --> 00:26:18,660
lt's for Simon Carter. Do you know him?
342
00:26:18,860 --> 00:26:21,260
Black hair, sort of Fox Mulder look.
343
00:26:21,460 --> 00:26:23,860
He's got the best arse in this shop.
344
00:26:25,060 --> 00:26:28,660
Will you put in a good word for me?
l've always fancied him.
345
00:26:28,660 --> 00:26:30,660
Run along.
346
00:26:48,660 --> 00:26:52,260
- Someone had to get the flags out!
- That's France, though.
347
00:26:52,460 --> 00:26:55,860
lt's all we had. lt came with the cheese.
348
00:26:55,860 --> 00:26:57,460
See you later.
349
00:26:57,660 --> 00:27:01,660
Maybe tomorrow.
You've seen enough of him, it's my turn.
350
00:27:03,260 --> 00:27:06,260
Donna! You left that bloody door open!
351
00:27:12,460 --> 00:27:15,260
l'm still gonna go out, to the Village.
352
00:27:15,460 --> 00:27:17,660
Not on school nights you're not.
353
00:27:20,260 --> 00:27:23,460
And l'm not gonna change.
You know that, don't you?
354
00:27:23,460 --> 00:27:26,660
Cos it isn't a phase.
l'm not gonna grow out of it.
355
00:27:28,860 --> 00:27:31,060
l'm gonna be gay forever.
356
00:27:32,660 --> 00:27:36,660
You've made your mind up.
lt's obvious there's no stopping you.
357
00:27:39,860 --> 00:27:43,660
lt's Helen l'm worried about.
She's ten years old.
358
00:27:43,860 --> 00:27:47,660
She's a child.
l don't want her head filled with notions.
359
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:52,260
Like what?
360
00:27:54,860 --> 00:27:56,860
As far as Helen's concerned,
361
00:27:57,060 --> 00:27:58,860
the anus is for shit.
362
00:28:02,060 --> 00:28:04,060
Got that?
363
00:28:08,660 --> 00:28:11,860
Knock, knock.
Your sister's been saying...
364
00:28:30,660 --> 00:28:32,660
No. She's not in her room.
365
00:28:42,660 --> 00:28:44,460
Me bloody wallet's gone.
366
00:28:44,660 --> 00:28:47,260
- Will that get us to London?
- Should do.
367
00:28:55,060 --> 00:28:57,460
Are you coming?
368
00:28:57,460 --> 00:29:00,060
This had better be good.
369
00:29:02,260 --> 00:29:04,260
(Nathan) Get in.
370
00:29:08,860 --> 00:29:12,060
& Deeper love, l've got a deeper love
371
00:29:12,660 --> 00:29:15,860
& Deeper love, l've got a deeper love
372
00:29:16,460 --> 00:29:19,260
& Deeper love, l've got a deeper love
373
00:29:19,860 --> 00:29:23,060
& Deeper love, l've got a deeper love... &
374
00:29:24,660 --> 00:29:27,060
Hello, sugarface, you all right?
375
00:29:27,260 --> 00:29:30,060
My world's so fucking huge!
376
00:29:32,060 --> 00:29:36,060
Yeah. l know l'm late
but l had to buy them a drink at work.
377
00:29:36,060 --> 00:29:38,860
- (Cameron) 'Never mind them.'
- (Door creaks)
378
00:29:39,060 --> 00:29:41,660
Christ! You heard the door on this?
379
00:29:41,660 --> 00:29:45,060
l'll get it fixed.
Get a move on or we'll lose the table.
380
00:29:45,260 --> 00:29:47,060
- (Creaking)
- Listen to that.
381
00:29:47,260 --> 00:29:50,060
'l know. Just leave it, just hurry up.'
382
00:29:50,060 --> 00:29:52,260
l'll get Bernie to fix it.
383
00:29:52,260 --> 00:29:55,660
'l wouldn't trust Bernie.
l'll take it to the garage.'
384
00:29:55,660 --> 00:29:58,860
- l'll do it.
- Like you'll fix the door in your flat?
385
00:30:00,860 --> 00:30:02,660
l will.
386
00:30:02,660 --> 00:30:08,260
'lt's like waiting for a kid to tidy his room.
l paid for the thing, l'll take charge.'
387
00:30:09,860 --> 00:30:12,460
Vince? Are you there?
388
00:30:13,860 --> 00:30:15,860
'Vince? Are you still there?'
389
00:30:17,660 --> 00:30:20,060
How many Doctor Whos can you name?
390
00:30:20,060 --> 00:30:21,660
'What do you mean?'
391
00:30:21,860 --> 00:30:24,660
All the actors who played Doctor Who.
Name them.
392
00:30:24,860 --> 00:30:28,060
- 'l don't know.'
- Just try.
393
00:30:28,060 --> 00:30:32,060
'Well... Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, um...'
394
00:30:32,060 --> 00:30:34,660
- ls that it?
- 'What does it matter?'
395
00:30:34,860 --> 00:30:36,660
Any more?
396
00:30:36,860 --> 00:30:40,260
- 'Er, the bloke with white hair.'
- William Hartnell.
397
00:30:40,460 --> 00:30:42,260
Any more?
398
00:30:42,460 --> 00:30:45,060
'The vet. What the hell does it matter?
399
00:30:47,060 --> 00:30:49,460
'Vince?'
400
00:30:49,460 --> 00:30:52,860
Sorry? What? lt's breaking up.
401
00:30:53,060 --> 00:30:55,460
We're breaking up. Sorry.
402
00:31:10,460 --> 00:31:13,060
& Santa Maria
403
00:31:13,060 --> 00:31:15,060
& Rhyme to the rhythm,
come on feel the rhythm
404
00:31:15,060 --> 00:31:17,660
& lt's a rhythm, a rhyme
that rocks the whole time
405
00:31:17,660 --> 00:31:21,060
& Santa Maria
406
00:31:25,460 --> 00:31:28,660
& And l only want to be with you, baby
407
00:31:28,860 --> 00:31:33,460
& Yes, you know it's gonna be heaven
here with me... &
408
00:31:34,460 --> 00:31:36,660
Taxi! Taxi!
409
00:31:38,060 --> 00:31:40,860
& Santa Maria
410
00:31:40,860 --> 00:31:42,860
& Rhyme to the rhythm,
come on feel the rhythm
411
00:31:43,060 --> 00:31:46,660
& lt's a rhythm, a rhyme
that rocks the whole time... &
412
00:31:48,260 --> 00:31:50,060
Taxi!
413
00:31:53,060 --> 00:31:55,260
- Big lssue?
- Yes, it is.
414
00:32:09,660 --> 00:32:12,060
Unrequited love, it's fantastic
415
00:32:12,060 --> 00:32:16,660
cos it never has to change, it never
has to grow up and it never has to die!
416
00:32:16,860 --> 00:32:19,460
& Santa Maria
417
00:32:19,460 --> 00:32:21,260
& Rhyme to the rhythm,
come on feel the rhythm
418
00:32:21,260 --> 00:32:23,660
& lt's a rhythm, a rhyme
that rocks the whole time... &
419
00:32:26,460 --> 00:32:27,660
Taxi!
420
00:32:27,860 --> 00:32:30,060
(& The Weather Girls: lt's Raining Men)
421
00:32:44,260 --> 00:32:46,260
(lnaudible)
422
00:32:53,060 --> 00:32:55,460
& Humidity is rising
423
00:32:56,460 --> 00:32:59,860
& Barometer's getting low
424
00:32:59,860 --> 00:33:03,860
& According to all sources
425
00:33:04,060 --> 00:33:06,660
& The street's the place to go
426
00:33:06,860 --> 00:33:10,660
& Cos tonight for the first time
427
00:33:10,660 --> 00:33:13,460
& Just about half past ten
428
00:33:13,660 --> 00:33:17,660
& For the first time in history
429
00:33:17,660 --> 00:33:21,260
& lt's gonna start raining men
430
00:33:22,060 --> 00:33:24,260
& lt's raining men
431
00:33:24,460 --> 00:33:27,660
& Hallelujah! lt's raining men
432
00:33:27,660 --> 00:33:29,660
& Amen
433
00:33:29,860 --> 00:33:33,860
& l'm gonna go out,
l'm gonna let myself get
434
00:33:33,860 --> 00:33:37,860
& Absolutely soaking wet
435
00:33:38,060 --> 00:33:40,260
& lt's raining men
436
00:33:40,460 --> 00:33:42,860
& Hallelujah! lt's raining men
437
00:33:44,060 --> 00:33:46,260
& Every specimen
438
00:33:46,460 --> 00:33:49,860
& Tall, blond, dark and lean
439
00:33:50,060 --> 00:33:54,260
& Rough and tough and strong and mean
440
00:33:55,260 --> 00:33:58,860
& God bless Mother Nature
441
00:33:58,860 --> 00:34:02,460
& She's a single woman too
442
00:34:02,660 --> 00:34:05,260
& She took over heaven... &31786
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