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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:05,473
Choir: ♪ Ah
2
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:10,178
♪ Men
3
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:12,680
- Wow.
- Here it comes.
4
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:15,716
"Wow, glad my wife is dead so
she didn't have to hear that."
5
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,051
- Actually, I was about to say,
6
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:19,420
"Wow, you have
never sounded better."
7
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:22,823
Which is still a low bar.
I'm sorry, I can't help myself.
8
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,568
- So do you think
we're ready for regionals?
9
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,370
- Absolutely, I think
we have a shot at winning.
10
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:27,695
[cheering]
- There we go.
11
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,763
- Speaking of regionals,
I have good news:
12
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:32,433
I spoke to the pastor at
our sister church in Lexington,
13
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:34,902
and she said we could sleep
on their sanctuary floor.
14
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,670
- Are you serious?
- I know, right?!
15
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:39,073
It'll be like camping
in God's tent.
16
00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:41,175
- No, sleeping
in a drafty church
17
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:42,510
the night before a performance
18
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,278
would be terrible
for your voices.
19
00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:47,515
- We can think of the draft
as God blowing us a kiss.
20
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,882
- I'm not sleeping on the floor.
21
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,050
What am I?
A dog?
22
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,785
Or a Wayne?
- None taken.
23
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,021
- We don't have enough money
for a hotel.
24
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,199
- Normally,
I would offer to pay,
25
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:57,057
but I'm "Leveraged to the Max."
26
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,692
Which, by the way, is the name
27
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:01,462
of the expensive racehorse
I invested all my money in.
28
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,030
- What if we raised the money?
29
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,199
I mean, we raise the roof
all the time.
30
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:06,667
What-what?
[laughs]
31
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,037
Or we could
just have a bake sale.
32
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,705
- Or a car wash.
33
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,107
- Or we make up a guy,
34
00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:15,209
take out a credit card
in his name, max it out,
35
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:16,777
then write his obituary.
36
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:20,814
I'm thinking about calling him
"Zachary P. Whisperbone."
37
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:24,285
- No, we're musicians.
It needs to be music-related.
38
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,254
- [gasps]
You said "we."
39
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,556
[laughs]
You feel like you belong.
40
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,391
We are an "us."
41
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:33,427
- Calm down, it's just pronoun.
It's not a promise ring.
42
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,896
Anyway I was reading this
church choir blog
43
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,632
about raising money
through a Hymn-A-Thon.
44
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:41,068
People pledge money
for us to sing.
45
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,736
- [gasps]
46
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,272
"Us."
- Walk away.
47
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:45,773
- "Church choir blog."
48
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,108
- Yeah, they have some
really good ideas about choirs,
49
00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:50,344
and terrible ideas
about everything else.
50
00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:53,013
- Dibs on anything
Beyonce, Madonna, Lizzo.
51
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:56,850
- It's Rizzo, and no, we're not
doing anything from "Grease."
52
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,152
Traditional choir music only.
53
00:01:58,186 --> 00:02:00,020
- A Hymn-A-Thon!
I love it!
54
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,422
All in favor sing "I!"
55
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,758
- ♪ I
- ♪ I
56
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,627
choir: ♪ I
57
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:10,130
- ♪ I!
58
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,333
I just wanted to show off
my range.
59
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,768
I think a Hymn-A-Thon
is dumb as hell.
60
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,337
♪
61
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,273
Choir: ♪ Hallelujah,
Thine the glory ♪
62
00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:24,678
♪ Revive us again
63
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:28,649
- I'm so sorry to hear about
Buster's passing.
64
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:31,885
21 is too young
for a cat to die.
65
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,889
Our choir would love
to sing a hymn in his honor
66
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:39,293
for the low, low cost of $5.
67
00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:42,896
For $10, we can make it
really special.
68
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,998
- [sighs]
- Can I help you?
69
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,634
- A friend of mine lives nearby,
70
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,002
and I seem to have
gotten a little bit lost.
71
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:52,172
- Yeah, you don't look like
you live this far from I-75.
72
00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,841
- What gave me away?
The hat,
73
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,410
the keen sense of intelligence
that permeates every sentence,
74
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:58,646
or the full set of teeth?
75
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,148
- Is that by chance your friend?
76
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,884
- The one man not in overalls?
Yes.
77
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,486
Arthur!
78
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,588
- Tate!
What are you doing here?
79
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:10,057
- [laughs]
Music conference in Nashville.
80
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,359
- Wow.
81
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,993
- I skipped out early
just to see you.
82
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,371
Plus, it was all downhill
after the keynote speaker.
83
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:16,830
- Were you the speaker?
- I was.
84
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,499
My keynote was C-sharp.
85
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,867
It killed at the conference.
86
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,002
- [laughs]
Ginny, this is Tate Tippet,
87
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,273
who is also an idiosyncratic
Princeton music professor
88
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:26,907
who judges people harshly.
89
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,610
- Oh, cool, I'm so excited for
there to be two of you.
90
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,945
- I wanna catch up,
but if you'll excuse me,
91
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,947
I left my car unlocked,
and everyone in here
92
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:36,684
looks like they could teach
a master class in hot-wiring.
93
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,186
[laughs]
- Better safe than sorry.
94
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,222
- Aw, you have a friend.
Isn't that nice?
95
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,525
- He is the only person
on the whole campus
96
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,295
who had my back
when I was unfairly dismissed.
97
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,096
- Are we still
calling that unfair?
98
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,464
I mean, didn't you, like,
99
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:51,975
throw a piece of furniture
at a child?
100
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:55,436
- I gently tossed a chair
that landed near a student.
101
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:57,037
It was student adjacent.
102
00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:00,274
I don't mind if you talk back,
but please use your diaphragm.
103
00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:01,975
Also, don't talk back.
104
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,144
[country music]
105
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:07,648
- I like this town for you.
Might even be a little jealous
106
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,216
that you got away
from the rat race.
107
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,552
- Hey, Conly Fork
has a rat race.
108
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,053
Thursdays by the big fork,
109
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,724
although a small possum
owned by a powerful family
110
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:17,958
wins every time.
111
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,669
Wherever you go, you can't
get away from politics.
112
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,095
- There is the hardened cynic
I fell in love with.
113
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,398
- Ooh.
Oh shoot.
114
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:26,334
I have to head over
to the church
115
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,935
for an all-night sing-a-long.
116
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,570
- [laughs]
117
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,406
Aw, you're serious.
- Mm-hmm.
118
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:33,941
- Well, that's too bad.
119
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,677
I was hoping you'd come out
and celebrate with me.
120
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,613
You're looking at the new chair
of the music department.
121
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,515
- What?
122
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,517
[laughs]
Congratulations!
123
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:46,019
Finally a visionary at the helm!
124
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:47,455
- Thanks, man.
125
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:50,691
That means a lot coming from
the best professor
126
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,794
to ever steal my lunch
from the faculty fridge.
127
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,663
- Hey, that baba ghanoush
was for everyone.
128
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,165
We need to celebrate.
We should be drinking.
129
00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,533
- We are drinking.
130
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:00,777
- What if I were to tell you
I know of a place
131
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,371
that has bourbon
and clean glasses?
132
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,439
- I would say, "hell yes."
- Hell yeah.
133
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:10,110
- I got us a great rate
at a hotel in Lexington!
134
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,645
And then I got us a good rate
135
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:14,147
at a hotel
in Lexington, Kentucky!
136
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,683
[squeals]
So, all we gotta do
137
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:18,852
is raise 1,000 bucks,
and we will be all set.
138
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,954
- Ooo, this'll help us
keep track.
139
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,556
- Fancy.
140
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:25,526
- I think it's cute you think
you know what fancy is.
141
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,303
- I just hooked us up
to our social media page
142
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,630
so people can watch us sing.
- Oh, no!
143
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,366
My gram gram follows us,
and she's a huge troll.
144
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,402
- Hey, uh, change of plans.
145
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,303
Uh, I can help
you guys get ready,
146
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,072
but I gotta take my buddy out
to celebrate his promotion.
147
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:42,075
Not to oversell, but everything
in my life depends on this.
148
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,343
Shoulders back.
149
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,312
- You're bailing
on the Hymn-A-Thon?
150
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,515
- Tate has always been
my biggest booster...
151
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,017
Lose the gum...
They promoted him to chair...
152
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,761
- So you wanna throw him?
- Of the department.
153
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,654
Shut up.
So I'm gonna to take him out.
154
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,599
I'm gonna show him a good time,
I'm gonna get my job back,
155
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,858
and finally I can pull myself
out of the muck.
156
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,027
- Are we the muck?
157
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:04,331
- No, you're the... the gross
creatures who befriended me
158
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,668
when I was in the muck,
and I will never forget you.
159
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,570
Hit middle C.
You know where middle C is?
160
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,772
Yeah?
That's it, that's your anchor.
161
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,007
Stay close to that.
You guys are gonna be great.
162
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,208
Appreciate it.
163
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,610
- Yeah, I got a note.
164
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:19,346
- ♪ You suck
- ♪ You suck
165
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,883
choir: ♪ You suck
166
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:28,456
- I can't believe Arthur
abandoned us.
167
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,023
Although, to be fair,
it falls in line
168
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,768
with every other terrible
aspect of his personality.
169
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,762
- Never trust a man with
that many decorative scarves.
170
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,464
- Who's he think he is?
Johnny Depp?
171
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,398
He can't out-scarf Depp.
No one can.
172
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:41,769
You can try, but Depp
will just put on another scarf,
173
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,604
and where does that leave you?
I'll tell you.
174
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,639
One scarf behind Depp.
175
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,374
- Okay, enough.
Ya'll!
176
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,309
We can do this!
- Aw.
177
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,545
Remember when Arthur said "we"?
178
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:52,646
- I will lead us.
179
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,047
We got along fine before Arthur.
180
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,584
We can do it again.
So now, let's get out there,
181
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,719
and let's sing
like nobody's watching!
182
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,488
Choir: Yeah!
- But hopefully they will be!
183
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,422
Choir: Yeah!
- Can I get a what-what?
184
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:03,791
- What?
- What?
185
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,560
- That's the spirit!
[laughs]
186
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:09,630
- Bibs, the usual.
- You have a usual?
187
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,131
Amazing.
Make it two.
188
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,901
- Okay, so four
Winter Creek Bourbons, neat.
189
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,235
Comin' up.
190
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,980
- Bibs, you're looking at
the best instrumentalist
191
00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,405
in all of North America.
192
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,107
Jazz Piano...
- Industrial bassoon...
193
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,909
- Ska sitar.
194
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,953
So what's it gonna take to get
this guy in the lineup tonight?
195
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,680
- Aw, I don't know.
It's cover band night.
196
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,015
I don't wanna bump Shammy Hagar.
197
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,750
- Bibs,
you gotta help me out here.
198
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,284
I need to butter this guy up.
199
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,853
He may have a job for me
at Princeton,
200
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,155
which means you will never have
to listen to someone say,
201
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,200
"could you please switch the TV
to the opera channel,"
202
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,859
ever again.
203
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:43,263
- Hey, Mr. Sitar!
You're up next.
204
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,932
- Hello world!
- Hi.
205
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,200
- We are the Second
First Church Choir,
206
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:50,137
and we welcome you
to our all night Hymn-A-Thon.
207
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,539
- Hi.
208
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,841
- Ooh, look!
A little heart is floating!
209
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:56,443
Social media love is addictive.
[gasps]
210
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,446
But not as addictive
as God's love.
211
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,348
[popping]
212
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:06,453
- Our first hymn is dedicated
to Mrs. Elliot's cat, Buster,
213
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,456
who died doing what he loved:
214
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,124
having diabetes.
215
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:15,563
Choir: ♪ All things bright
and beautiful ♪
216
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:20,133
♪ All creatures
great and small ♪
217
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:24,905
♪ All things wise
and wonderful ♪
218
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:28,742
♪ The lord God made them all
219
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:32,312
[heavy metal riff]
220
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,848
♪
221
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:37,150
- Woo!
- [laughs]
222
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,987
♪
223
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,655
I was pissed when I got bumped,
224
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:44,157
but I'll be honest,
this guy's good!
225
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,326
- Hey, I'm trying to give
my buddy a good night.
226
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,896
If you ask for an encore,
I'll buy your next beer.
227
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:53,734
♪
228
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,770
- What are we, like, the
lamest house frat on campus?
229
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,171
These pledges suck.
230
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:01,174
- Come on, Conley Fork!
Send us to regionals.
231
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,576
Come on!
- Please, please!
232
00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:04,945
[ding]
233
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,681
- "I will donate $5
if everyone stops speaking,
234
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:10,150
and the big guy with the voice
says my name."
235
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,520
[dings]
"Not him."
236
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,555
- Oh, rude.
237
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,360
- Joanne.
238
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,862
- [gasps] Keep going.
239
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,697
- Come on.
- It's working.
240
00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,298
[dings]
[popping]
241
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:26,867
- Joanne.
242
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,435
[cheers and applause]
243
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:30,537
- All right!
They loved you.
244
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,405
I haven't seen them
that worked up
245
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:34,374
since the "Suzanne Duran"
reunion.
246
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,209
- Fun crowd.
You should get up there.
247
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,379
If I killed it,
you could at least wound it.
248
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,881
- Tate, let's cut to the chase.
249
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,549
I know you came here
with an agenda.
250
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,051
- You do?
251
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,153
- Yeah, nobody comes to
Kentucky voluntarily.
252
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,554
- Not even LSU.
253
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,922
- All right.
[sighs]
254
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:52,092
Tate, yes, of course,
I'd love to.
255
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,461
I forgive them.
Show me where to sign.
256
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,229
I don't care about the salary.
257
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:59,833
- Oh, oh, oh, um... you...
258
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,902
You think I'm here
to offer you a job?
259
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:06,807
- I did until just now.
260
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,576
- I don't know how
to put this delicately...
261
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,978
[tense music]
262
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,646
So I won't.
Your career is dead,
263
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,614
and you're never gonna
teach again at Princeton.
264
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,650
- Encore!
- Ugh.
265
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:19,687
I know this is not great timing.
266
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,622
♪
267
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:25,092
- Shammy Hagar, do me a favor.
268
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,728
Plunge that pint glass
into my skull.
269
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,366
- Gotta give the people
what they want.
270
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,668
- Encore!
271
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:36,503
- I'm not buying you
any more beer.
272
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:37,805
- Withdrawn.
273
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,272
- So you came all this way
274
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,042
just to rub my face
in my non-existent future?
275
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,111
- No, I came all this way
276
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,847
to get you to sign
a letter of apology,
277
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,550
indemnifying the school
from any legal action.
278
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:52,019
- Apology?
For what?
279
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,321
You always said students
were a bunch of snowflakes
280
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:55,689
who needed to toughen up.
281
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,791
- They do, but... [sighs]
282
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,459
times have changed.
283
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,295
We just gave a professor paid
leave while we investigate
284
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,565
her use of the term
"flame retardant."
285
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,300
- I thought you had my back.
286
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,970
- Actually, yeah, I did,
but I'm an administrator now.
287
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,538
I gotta make an example of you.
288
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,811
- I can't believe Tate Tippet
sold me out for a paycheck.
289
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,743
- In my defense,
290
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:18,178
it's a really big paycheck.
291
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,646
[country music]
292
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,548
You seriously won't sign?
293
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:24,184
- I may be screwed,
but so are you.
294
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:27,554
Hey, man,
you see that guy at the bar
295
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:30,323
who spent $300
on that stupid fedora?
296
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,927
He just told me he thinks
he could take you, easy.
297
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:36,196
- Nobody takes Sqwatchy easy.
298
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,598
- Yeah, you don't need that.
299
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,834
♪
300
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:44,004
- ♪ Oh, hallelujah
301
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:48,441
♪ Great is thy faithfulness
302
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:52,212
♪ Oh, God, my father
303
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,682
- [sighs]
- ♪ Thou changest not
304
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,284
♪ Thy compassions...
305
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,685
[line ringing]
306
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,888
[phone rings]
- This is Brian.
307
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,690
- Hi, yes, I'm calling
from the Second First Church.
308
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,725
- Hi, Jenny.
- Oh, you remembered!
309
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,036
- Well, you call
more than Kevin,
310
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,461
and he's obsessed with me.
311
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:11,431
- Aw, he sounds nice.
Uh, quick question.
312
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,366
If we were to extend our stay
to four nights,
313
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,535
what rate would you
be able to give us?
314
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,605
- I could knock another $10 off
the nightly rate.
315
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:21,741
- Okay, good, do that... now
cancel those two extra nights.
316
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,543
I'm so glad we could
lock this rate in.
317
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,478
Say hi to Kevin for me!
318
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:29,116
Choir: ♪ All unto...
319
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:32,452
- ♪ Me
320
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:37,490
choir: ♪ Ooh
[popping]
321
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,059
- Guys, great news.
322
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,328
I got the hotel
to lower their rate again.
323
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,130
- Hell yeah.
- How's it going out here?
324
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:44,464
- Be doing a lot better
325
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,766
if we maxed out
Zach Whisperbone's Amex.
326
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,301
[phone dings]
327
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,569
- Oh, hey.
328
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,471
Kimberly said she'd give us
$20 right now
329
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:56,109
if, "the big guy says her name
in a disapproving tone."
330
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:59,346
- When are you gonna learn
it's never you?
331
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,413
- Aw.
332
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,182
- This is starting
to weird me out.
333
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:03,783
I don't wanna kink shame,
334
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,418
but these women
are not making it easy.
335
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,920
- Well, tough noogies.
336
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:10,657
From here on, there's no
turning down any requests.
337
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,759
We are the Second First Choir,
338
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,461
and we will do anything
for money.
339
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,964
[phone dings]
- [gasps] Oh, God, not that.
340
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,499
Dwayne, come on.
Get up here, you got this.
341
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,101
[beatboxing]
342
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,436
- Kimberly, Kimberly, Kimberly.
343
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,874
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
You better than that.
344
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,877
- $5 to eat a ghost pepper?
Heck yeah.
345
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,644
♪
346
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,280
- Yeah!
347
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,382
- You got this!
348
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,683
- [screams]
349
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,685
choir: ♪ A mighty fortress
is our God ♪
350
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,120
♪ Hey!
351
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,156
- ♪ A mighty fortress
is our God ♪
352
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,125
choir: ♪ He's our God.
353
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,561
♪ A bulwark never failing
- Another one, really?
354
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,631
Natalie DeWimple.
Choir: ♪ He never fails
355
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,066
- ♪ A helper he
choir: ♪ Whoo-whoo!
356
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,501
- ♪ Amid the floods
357
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,203
choir: ♪ That's going
to build an ark ♪
358
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,837
- ♪ Of mortal ills prevailing ♪
359
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,372
[popping]
360
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,150
- Gram gram, I know that's
you, and that is rude.
361
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,509
Choir: ♪ He always prevails
362
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,644
- ♪ His craft and power
are great ♪
363
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,479
- Linda Bellini, come on down.
364
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:10,050
You're the next contestant
on "The Price is Right."
365
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:15,655
♪ On earth is not his equal
[popping]
366
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,990
- I'm just saying, Brian,
367
00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:19,159
if you knock another $10
off the room rate,
368
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,727
we could get the word out
369
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,495
about your great establishment.
370
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,165
♪ The Lexington Inn
is the place to stay ♪
371
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,101
♪ For business pleasure,
or a fun getaway ♪
372
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:32,105
♪ People say it's a
little slice of heaven ♪
373
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:36,609
♪ But don't sleep in,
'cause checkout's at 11:00 ♪
374
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,111
[door closes]
375
00:14:38,145 --> 00:14:39,579
- I don't know all the hymns,
376
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,949
but I'm pretty sure
that's not one of them.
377
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,716
- Arthur.
You came back.
378
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:46,386
- People are just paying us
to do weird crap now.
379
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,355
It's a career
I never knew I wanted.
380
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:52,059
- Even with all that we're
still $348 short of our goal.
381
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,227
- It's actually $353.
382
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:57,030
Yeah, my dad wouldn't pay once
I threw up the ghost pepper.
383
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,932
- It's the middle of the night.
384
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,600
Junior is asleep
on the church floor,
385
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,270
which is what we were trying
to avoid in the first place.
386
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:04,771
- Yeah, can we just
call it quits?
387
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,139
[arguing chatter]
388
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,408
- No, no, no, no, no.
We can't call it quits.
389
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:11,044
We came here to sing.
390
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,313
That's what we're gonna do.
391
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:17,617
Is this the place we really
wanna be right now?
392
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,252
No, of course not,
393
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:23,423
but if all of our other options
have been taken away, yeah.
394
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,293
So I'm gonna conduct.
395
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:29,729
And we're... [dings]
396
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,132
[comedic country music]
397
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:37,337
- Gonna sing "If You're Happy
and You Know It."
398
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,672
[popping]
399
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,941
[plays key]
400
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,610
choir:
♪ If you're happy
401
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:47,314
♪ And you know
it clap your hands ♪
402
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,349
- [crying] Everybody!
403
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:53,253
- ♪ If you're happy and
you know it, clap your hands ♪
404
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,921
- [cries]
405
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,258
choir: ♪ If you're happy and
you know it, clap your hands ♪
406
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,360
- [cries] If you're happy,
and you know it!
407
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,962
- I can't see his face.
Is he happy?
408
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,936
- So, um, I'm guessing you
didn't get the job?
409
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,773
- That job or any other
apparently,
410
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,109
and now the whole world knows.
411
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,777
- Oh, no.
No, no, no.
412
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,447
It's just Junior's extended
family and a bunch of pervs.
413
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,615
- I'm sorry, Arthur.
- No!
414
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,793
I thought I was so important
that the rules didn't apply
415
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:25,952
to me.
It's hubris.
416
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,687
- Like Oedipus!
417
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,157
It was a trivia question
on my string cheese.
418
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,060
- I deserved to get fired.
I'm a dick.
419
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:35,462
- Well, the first step to
healing is admitting it.
420
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,965
- Unless you committed a crime,
then it's deny, deny, deny.
421
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,400
- And the fact
you feel bad about it
422
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,035
shows just how much
you've grown.
423
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,479
- I was kinda hoping someone
was gonna object
424
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,904
to the whole,
"I'm a dick," thing.
425
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,973
- I do, but only because I have
426
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,975
more clever
and specific insults.
427
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,543
[phone dings]
428
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,979
- Kimberly said she'll pay $10
to hear those insults.
429
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,581
- I got you, girl.
430
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,816
- Hey, guys, I know I said
that we should do anything
431
00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:00,353
to get to regionals, but we
don't turn on our friends
432
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,889
when they need us the most.
433
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,157
- Thank you.
434
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,758
- And when you feel better,
435
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:09,162
we should have some words,
because you are a real dick.
436
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,931
- Look, I can't
un-toss the chair.
437
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,333
[remorseful music]
438
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,235
I can't un-abandon
the Hymn-A-Thon,
439
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:18,105
and the fact that that doesn't
sound strange to me
440
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,872
means I've been in Kentucky
too long.
441
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:24,877
But what I can do, is I can
help you raise this money.
442
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,580
- Alas, our churchgoing
audience is asleep.
443
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,015
- Why did we do this
444
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,718
from 7:00 PM to 7:00 AM instead
of the other way around?
445
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:34,687
- Because I look good as hell
in these pajamas.
446
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,799
- They're not churchgoing
people, but I do know a place
447
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:39,192
where there is an audience
that's awake.
448
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,703
- I know you're probably
thinking the prison,
449
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,895
but they actually
make you go to bed
450
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,431
earlier than you think.
451
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:47,134
- ♪ I do my hair toss,
check my nails ♪
452
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,536
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Choir: ♪ Feelin' good as heck
453
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:53,440
- ♪ Hair toss, check my nails,
baby, how you feelin'? ♪
454
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,208
Choir: ♪ Feelin' good as heck
455
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:58,111
choir: ♪ Ooh, child
- ♪ tired of the bullcrap
456
00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,379
- All right, all right.
457
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:03,550
Thank you, Bibs.
How 'bout them, huh?
458
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,651
♪
459
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,919
- ♪ Come on, now, dry your eyes,
460
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,322
♪ You know you a star,
you can touch the sky ♪
461
00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:11,724
♪ I know that it's hard,
but you have to try ♪
462
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,727
♪ If you need advice
let me simplify ♪
463
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:18,231
- You know, if you still have
that letter of apology,
464
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:19,732
I'll sign it.
465
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,169
- That's... unexpected.
466
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,736
- Bibs, you got a pen?
467
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:27,307
Choir: ♪ I do my hair toss,
check my nails ♪
468
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,676
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as heck! ♪
469
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:33,413
♪ Hair toss, check my nails,
baby, how you feelin'? ♪
470
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,981
♪ Feelin' good as heck!
471
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,983
- Look, I really appreciate
you doing this for me.
472
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,518
- Oh, I'm not doing it for you.
473
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,453
I'm doing it 'cause
it's the right thing to do.
474
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:44,657
I'm doing it because
this is the place I belong.
475
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,793
Choir: ♪ Boss up
and change your life ♪
476
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,928
♪ You can have it all,
no sacrifice ♪
477
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,698
♪ I know he did you wrong,
we can make it right ♪
478
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,200
- I got friends...
479
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,801
- Sorry.
To be clear,
480
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:59,038
I don't care why you're doing
it, just that you are.
481
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:01,974
Choir: ♪ So walk your fine rear
out the door ♪
482
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,543
- What a [bleep].
483
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,845
Choir: ♪ Walk your fine rear
out the door ♪
484
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,280
♪ Woo!
485
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,616
♪ And do your hair toss,
check my nails ♪
486
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,385
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as heck! ♪
487
00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:14,621
♪ I do my hair toss,
check my nails ♪
488
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,956
♪ Baby how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as heck! ♪
489
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:21,060
♪ Hair toss, check my nails,
baby, how you feelin'? ♪
490
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,729
♪ Feelin' good as heck!
491
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,898
♪ Hair toss, check my nails,
baby, how you feelin'? ♪
492
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,000
♪ Feelin' good as heck!
493
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,337
♪ Feelin' good as heck!
- [cheers and applause]
494
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:33,206
♪ Baby, how you feelin'?
Feelin' good as heck! ♪
495
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,576
[cheers and applause]
496
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,185
- I am beat.
497
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,654
- Me too.
498
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,022
I'm so tired, I've forgone
the perfect opportunity
499
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:53,159
to draw a penis
on Junior's forehead.
500
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,363
No, I'll never be that tired.
501
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,764
- Next time we do a Hymn-A-Thon
502
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,832
can we not do it before
I have a morning shift?
503
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,335
- That's like your fifth cup.
- You got that right.
504
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,337
- Why don't you just
get an enema?
505
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,339
- You put it on the menu,
I'll order it.
506
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:08,040
[phone buzzing]
- I should take this.
507
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:09,542
Dang it, Brian,
508
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,544
you better not be calling
to take back your offer.
509
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:14,881
We had a verbal contract.
That's a thing idn't it?
510
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:17,417
- It is, and we have
a firm no backsies policy.
511
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:20,353
- Oh, kindergarten rules.
I respect that.
512
00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:21,721
- You've a tough negotiator.
513
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,523
In fact,
I know this may sound crazy,
514
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:26,393
but would you be interested
in interviewing
515
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,795
for assistant manager
when you're in Lexington?
516
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,029
- [gasps] Oh, yes.
517
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,699
I mean I definitely
would love to interview.
518
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:36,269
I mean... maybe,
if it's convenient for me.
519
00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:38,538
- You're literally going
to be staying here.
520
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,939
What's stopping you?
521
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:43,610
♪
522
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,212
- I'm sorry, uh.
I have to think about it.
523
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,314
I'll see you next week.
524
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,882
♪
525
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:53,786
Oh, that was just normal old
hotel confirmation business.
526
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:58,325
You know, numbers, letters,
J, Q,
527
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,826
seven... You all set here?
528
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,994
- Uh, actually,
I want some more.
529
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:03,296
I finally took your advice
530
00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:06,399
and wiped up the gravy
with my biscuit.
531
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:07,767
- You sopped!
532
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,069
- You're on the clock.
- Oh.
533
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:13,406
- You know if you guys can live
the rest of your lives
534
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,409
in Conley Fork, so can I.
535
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,120
- It is full of the best people
that I know.
536
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:21,348
- You guys gotta check out
this masterpiece I just drew.
537
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,616
I call it the "Boner Lisa."
40057
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