Original subtitles

-Hello. -Good morning, darling.

Good morning, dear.

-Hi dad. -Hey!

Hi mum.

Hello little one.

How long 'til he gets here? I want to play with him.

If he doesn't arrive next month,

Dad will yank him out with the barbecue pincers.

Come here!

Today I had a really weird dream.

In the dream, mum and I didn't know each other.

-And you weren't born. -What a dumb dream.

And in my dream a cook fancied your mum.

Just what I need.

Hey!

Hello everyone.

-Hello. -It's the fifth time this week.

You need a cook round here.

-Hi uncle Nacho. -Hi beautiful.

Now I have this job I come round here more than before.

Enjoy. I have to go, lots of deliveries.

C'mom.

-Lunchtime! -Eh! Wash your hands first.

C'mon.

I see that you're getting used to being a dad.

-Why don't we have another go? -Well...

Because you're already pregnant.

And so what? Don't you want a bigger family?

I want 6 or 7, at least.

-And you? -Well I...

Oh! Well, me too, but let's see...

We're going to have this one and then we'll see.

-What's wrong? -With who?

What's happened to your shrimp?

Looks like he's not interested in making another baby.

Please, our daughter is here...

-And with you like that. -Excuses!

You don't love me anymore. I do, but it's not the right time.

Excuses! It's never the right time for you.

You don't want to have kids with me. You know what?

If we're not going to have kids,

you won't be needing the shrimp.

No, wait, wait, Marta, no!

No, no, wait, no!

No, no, oh!

Shit!

Christ.

What's up?

Just what I needed. Nothing's up.

You look strange, like you'd seen a ghost.

You're the only ghost here.

Anyway, I thought you'd gone?

You still see me in your dreams.

Nightmares more like.

And why are you like that?

Like what?

Like that...

Blurry, as if you we're all out of synch.

It must be you. The signal can't reach you.

Or perhaps your eyes are tired.

Old people's problems.

Who's old?

You. And what's happening to your shrimp.

I don't think that's something I should speak to you about.

I'm the one affected the most.

Who else would you speak to?

I dunno, no one.

Or at most...

with a specialist.

Javi, I can't speak right now, I'm with a patient.

And I'm about to have a heart attack, hear me out.

A heart attack? Relax, breathe.

Does your chest hurt? Do you feel nauseous? Are you sweating?

Is it hard for you to breathe?

No, no, no and no.

So, numbnuts, it's not a heart attack. What the hell is wrong?

I don't know how to explain this.

Well, I got up, this morning but...

But...

But he... didn't.

Who? Is Nacho dead?

Why should Nacho be dead?

So who had the bloody heart attack?

Nobody, christ, no one's dying.

The problem is... My shrimp.

What shrimp?

Jesus, do I have to spell it out?

All my life I've been getting up, you know, like...

Do you follow?

You know. Locked and loaded.

And today, for the first time. Nothing.

Are you calling to tell me

that you got up today with a flaccid penis?

But to think of my glory days.

What'll it be from now on?

The adventures of Capitan limp dick?

Look, Javier, I'm working, I can't carry on talking about

-your shrimp. -Don't hang up on me!

Excuse me, what was I saying?

You just told me I had three months to live.

Oh yes!

Well, look at it this way. Your memory is still razor sharp.

Good morning!

-You made breakfast. -Surprise.

Orange juice from the orchard, tomato from the garden,

fresh eggs, and milk from the neighbour.

Your neighbour has a cow?

No, a supermarket.

-Oh! -Tetra-brik.

Why go to such trouble?

To celebrate last night

you stayed over for the first time, my love.

Hey, sorry, sorry I didn't mean to hit you, well...

I did, not cos of the kiss, that was okay.

Well, normal, but...

"My love"? Why did you call me "my love"?

You think that's a bad thing?

It's not a question of good or bad,

it's strange to say it so soon.

It's 10 in the morning, what time is it okay to be affectionate?

You know what I'm talking about.

You never said anything before

like dear, or lovey, or babe, at least.

You can't suddenly come out with "love" just like that.

It's a lack of respect!

All I did was say "love" and you belted me.

-Lack of respect... -Don't say it again, hey?

I'm going to the bathroom to give you time to think.

That way is the street.

The bathroom is over there.

Yeah.

And have some juice, it's a diuretic.

This is getting out of hand.

-What? -Mario,

before we just slept together and now I stay over,

he makes me breakfast, he calls me love...

-What will happen next? -Let me guess.

Having a child?

It's all going too quickly.

This is going too slowly.

It's not going slowly, it's over.

I'm sorry but I want my old life back.

I haven't written a review in months,

or had a one night stand, without asking her name.

Or had a facial,

or been to the opera, or played golf.

And almost a year without going to, New York. It's madness.

-It was the life of an idiot. -Fine.

So I want to go back to being the same jerk I was before.

You won't admit it, but you're depressed about Marta.

I don't know what you mean.

I'm sorry, but you're out of sync.

You heard me fine. Admit that it's all because of Marta.

No, I don't understand you, eh?

You're breaking up or something.

Better if you go elsewhere, cos your antenna is broken.

Go away.

Bye bye.

Get out of my house, I don't want to see you anymore.

And shut the door.

What's the problem, mum?

Wasn't this exactly what we were looking for?

We were looking for a dad for you.

We don't know if Mario wants to be your father.

I wouldn't bet on it.

Why not? He meets the 3 requirements:

You like him, he likes you and I like him.

-I even have his nose. -You don't have his nose.

Maybe his eyebrows.

Mum, concentrate, it's him!

I'm sure if I suggest kids to him he'd be off like a shot.

Well, we don't know.

Suggest it and if he runs off, better to know that now.

I can't go round asking guys if they want to have kids,

it makes me look like a mad woman.

Javi ran off, but Mario might be different.

-All men are the same. -That's a stereotype, mum.

Like saying that all you women are crazy.

Yeah, but maybe there's a little truth in there somewhere.

Won't you let me in?

It's better if you leave.

You're wasting time, don't you get it?

There's nowhere else to go, you are my dad.

Give it up, it's obvious I don't want you. Wise up.

This is a crisis of adulthood.

Or immaturity more like...

Like running a marathon at 40 or, in my case, being a father

but that's it, that's it.

It's not my thing, christ.

Look at where I live, it's a bachelor pad for godsake.

I'll never commit to anyone ever, who am I fooling?

You fooled me.

I thought you loved me.

Yeah, and I thought I could run a marathon, but I tried a

couple of races and I pulled my calf muscle.

I'm not up to being a dad, leave me in peace.

Would you be bothered if I fell?

I know that you don't exist, child!

I haven't even been able to think of a name for you.

Help! Dad!

Help!

Dad!

Dad!

I can't swim!

Dad!

Ah!

I hate you, dad, I hate you!

You're a coward!

A coward, coward, coward!

Christ!

I don't know if I am a coward, but I've shit my pants.

Wait.

Stop.

What's up now?

I brought you a present.

-I almost forgot. -Just as well you didn't.

Aren't you going to open it?

Looks like I'll have to.

-Do you like it? -A framed picture of us?

Don't you like it?

Yeah, I'm more into looking at photos once on Insta and that's it,

but this is, it's great, it's more...

... vintage? Thanks.

Where do you want to put it?

I'm not one for putting photos of people in the house,

-it's like invading their intimacy. -What intimacy?

Everyone shows their ass on Instagram these days.

Put it on the bedside table.

You can see it before you go to sleep and when you wake.

And when you get up for a pee.

It's a thought.

Great.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, unfasten your safety belts...

Oh, no, no, it's so late, I don't have time!

No fucking around.

You said it, I'm off to Istanbul.

We'll carry on when I get back? Ciao.

What's this?

It's my camper van, to travel all around Europe.

That's great!

When are you going?

At the end of the year, they'll let me have it for 3 months.

Very good.

Listen, baby.

I came over here with this in mind.

-It's my childhood dream. -I didn't tell you not to go.

And if I tell you to come with me.

Don't talk nonsense, the baby's due in December, I can't.

You shouldn't be lifting crates either but you are.

So why don't you help me?

To recycle you mean?

Of course, what do you think I'm talking about?

Don't worry about me, worry about the planet.

Otherwise what world are we going to leave for this kid?

I can understand that it was a a bit odd to ask him about

kids like that but it doesn't excuse him.

Imagine that you were in...

I dunno, Singapore,

having an operation on a cyst

and the doctor asks if you are all for world peace.

Maybe the question isn't very relevant,

but if you're for peace, you'd say so.

That's a great example, perfectly logical.

But I was asking about Mario, not Javi.

I didn't mention Javi.

Okay, so that was about Javi, but with regard to Mario?

I don't want to mess things up asking about kids.

You're too frightened to ask.

-Frightened he'll run away? -No.

Frightened that he'll say yes.

I like Mario, hey?

Okay, we have to talk.

We have to talk.

David, David.

Come here, come here!

-It's me. -Yes, what are you doing outside?

-C'mom c'mon, we're late. -Wait, wait...

I'm not going in.

What do you mean not going in?

-Isn't it the game today? -Yes.

I came over but not to play cards.

So why the hell did you come?

I need a prescription.

What kind of prescription?

I don't know, you're the doctor, a prescription for...

you know, something, for my...

I don't believe you!

Are you still on about your willy?

-It's a wind up? -No, no, you don't joke about this.

Don't say willy, take it seriously, for godsake.

This is surreal, I swear.

Okay.

Here's what we'll do.

We play the match with Nacho and Rafa

and later we'll speak about what's happening to you.

I don't want to talk, I want chemicals!

Christ, I just some pills to make me the man I was.

I'm not going in there.

Cos I'm trying to get my life back and I have to write a review

and because you'll have told those two all about it.

How can you think I'd tell them such a thing?

We doctors have a code of ethics, you know?

And between friends there is a son of a bitch's code.

No. No.

Well, maybe I blabbed a little.

Okay, so for being a dick the match is fucked.

And for being a smart arse, no pills for you.

No. David, David!

David, hey!

One moment, christ!

It's not like that, it's not so easy,

having kids is a really big step.

Excuses, I think she doesn't want to have them.

Elisa.

-I do want to have them. -Maybe yes, but not with Mario.

What would you know?

-Did you say something? -Marta!

And you? You get a framed photo and almost have a stroke.

-Let's see. -No, it's the first step.

Toothbrush, pyjamas, and then stuck to the sofa forever more.

Well, that is what they call having a relationship.

That I didn't ask for.

But you have one and won't admit it cos you're scared shitless.

Like you are about kids?

I'm not scared shitless,

Well, it smells a bit round here.

If you're not then why don't you ask Mario.

I will ask him.

What's more, right now.

-And you with Nacho? -Right away.

I'll tell him exactly how things stand.

Okay fine, by not opening my mouth,

I think I did very well.

Mario, do you have a moment?

I was making some margaritas, but...

Mario, I want to, I mean...

that...

I want to say something.

Okay, I'm coming.

That...

Shit, I thought this was going to be easier.

Wait!

Thanks.

Okay. steady. Well, let's see.

-If you're thirsty there's juice. -Shut up!

I don't know if this is right time, but I need to know right now.

Do you want to have child with me?

-No. -I knew it. You're all the same.

-I'd have three or four. -So I'm the fool.

It's not that important to me either, so what do I care...

Sorry? What did you say?

I want to have three or four kids with you.

Well, we're not opening a nursery,

one is okay for now.

However many you want. And whenever you want them.

It doesn't have to be right away.

No, no, but I'm already wanting to meet Zeus, Rain and Cloud.

And little Ramsés.

We can choose the names together?

-Ah, yeah. -Oh!

Are you crying?

No, no, it must be a bit of ginger in my eye.

I'll be back

-Hi. -What are you doing here?

I still have a review to do. I can imagine why you're here.

-I don't have to explain to you. -I haven't asked you to.

Very well.

-There we go. -Fine.

Great.

Marta, Marta.

-Hello. -Hello.

Mario, this is Javi, a friend.

-We know each other, right? -No, I haven't had the pleasure.

Nice to meet you, I'm Mario.

-Javi. A little hug, no? -Ah ha!

Sorry, but apparently a "Michelín Guide" reviewer is

coming and seems he's a real bastard.

Mario.

Javi is the reviewer.

Oh!

When I say bastard I mean it in a good way,

like saying: wow! Messi, he plays like a bastard!

Don't worry, you were well informed.

And my friend Marta will give you even worse references.

Shall we begin? I getting hungry now.

Yes, yes.

-What are you doing? -Keeping an eye on you.

I've many defects,

but I don't usually steal the cutlery.

Especially the cheap and nasty kind.

That's why I'm staying, because your review won't be fair.

Darling, are you going to eat with the reviewer?

Yes, he asked me to.

He eats alone every day, a very sad life.

Your girlfriend doesn't think I'm going to be impartial.

And why would that be?

I don't know, ask her.

Nonsense! No, what it is...

The set menu is for two.

And we haven't seen each other for such a long time.

You can tell me if you're married or if you have kids.

Sure.

The gourmet menu for two or would you prefer a la carte?

I'll leave it up to you, you obviously have good taste.

-You can wipe that smile off. -Really?

I thought it was the thing you liked most about me.

That would suggest that there are more things I like.

You must like something.

If I look at things one by one, there's nothing I like.

So it's odd that you like me.

-I don't. -Yes, you do.

-No. -Well, a little bit, yes.

What are you on? Have you looked in the mirror?

-You're full of yourself. -Yeah.

It's odd to me too. I mean I look at you

and then at myself and I think: if I was her,

I'd look for something better.

But I'm grateful that you're not so shallow and that you noticed me.

You're mistaken, I don't like you.

Yeah, I can believe that too.

An appetiser.

A smoked fish melange with organic foie gras.

-Could you bring us some cultlery? -Yes, of course.

Thanks.

-What? -Your turn Carla, christ!

Yeah, yeah. I was thinking.

Don't get mad, I'm learning.

-Play. -You can't play.

-Why not? -You have to have the right card.

Look, Carla, it's not so difficult.

You have to play spades cos the trump was spades.

David didn't put down spades.

-He didn't have any. -Oh, that's okay then.

You didn't criticise him.

But he didn't have the right suit!

Okay, okay, I'll play this one.

No, you can't, you have to follow.

-Follow where? -You have to play the same suit,

you can't play hearts.

But it's the only thing I know how to do. Play with hearts.

Ok, I'll play this one.

Not that one, a lower number.

-But I played a one. -But that's the ace.

-The one is worth eleven. -And how much is the ace worth?

-Three. -And the three?

-Ten! -And the ten?

-Two. -And the two?

-Two isn't worth anything. -Are you all morons?

Why don't you assign the value of the card number?

She's right there.

Carla, if you won't take it seriously, we'll stop the game.

The truth is this is absurd.

Sure, why waste time in teaching me how to play?

But don't you worry, I'll teach myself.

You can get to fuck with your chinchón!

-This is tute. -Fuck the lot of you!

Why don't you all run off together to see Europe

in a mobile home?

And if I want to play, I'll play.

Watch me play!

Play, play, play, play!

Let her get on with it, it's her hormones.

Maybe she's on her period too.

Rafa, don't be a knob, she's pregnant.

So what?

If she doesn't understand our rules,

I'm not going to understand hers.

How can you go when your girlfriend's baby is due?

No worries, she's not coming with me.

-I'm going on my own. -Ah, I feel so much better.

But how can you leave her here in her condition?

No sweat, old man, she told me I should go.

-She doesn't mind. -And how did she tell you exactly?

-What? -That she wasn't bothered.

Well, I asked if it was okay and she said: do what you want.

And what do you think "do whatever you want" means?

It means what it means, man,

do what you want means the same here as in Mexico.

Exactly, here, in Mexico and in Timbuktu,

if your girlfriend says that, she means anything you like

except that you can do whatever you want.

I'm getting a little lost, man.

The tone of voice, listen to the tone of voice.

She doesn't want me to go?

What do I do? Shall I stay?

Son, that's up to you.

And what tone of voice is that?

Um, that doesn't look too good.

Why don't we sneak off while the owner's not looking?

I'm not going anywhere with you, and you have a review to write.

No skin off my nose, my company is paying,

but it looks bad to me that you're gonna eat his food then dump him.

I'm not going to dump him, I'm staying with him.

I like Mario he's a great guy and a great cook too.

I'm the one who has to decide if he's a great cook.

But, he's a great guy

and a great lover, I can assure you.

Difficult to believe he's such a great guy,

As for the other, if I'm not up to it,

I compensate by snuggling up.

-Anything else? -Yes.

Mario wants to have kids with me.

That's what it's about, right?

You'll stick with the first one who said he wants kids.

That's great, if it had been the postman,

would you have stayed with him?

I would have stayed with you.

It's funny, you always have something amusing to say

except in those moments when you really should say something.

Enjoy your food.

And Marta?

Something made her feel bad.

And she hasn't even tried your food.

First course: lemon ceviche with rage.

I mean sage.

Can you pour me a little more, wine, please?

Yes, of course.

Have you made me a copy of the photo I gave you?

No, it is the photo you gave me.

Sorry, but I'm not ready to have it in the house.

Ready to have a photo?

It's not a plant, you don't have to water it.

Nacho, we're okay like this. Do you understand?

Yes, I understand.

I understand that you don't want our relationship to grow.

But it doesn't work like that. It's like a video game.

Like a video games?

Yeah, you play, you go up a level

and it gets more difficult.

And that's what's cool about it.

You're not stuck in a loop on the first level.

Unless you're really crap and get killed.

Sure, but if they do kill you, you start another game from zero.

That's to say another relationship.

Is that what you want?

Good morning.

You see? This is what's great about being old.

You don't waste time on daft things.

Like sleeping.

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh!

Substitute, doggie, hey!

Fetch me the mobile.

C'mon. Nice doggie, the phone!

It's right there, fetch!

Fetch!

Fetch, you stupid mutt, you're utterly useless!

Okay.

Okay, okay, you're not.

but you'll have to learn to use the mobile

because when I snuff it in a couple of months,

you'll have to call someone so they come and feed you.

Sorry. I...

I came down for a glass of milk.

You're the one who's pregnant?

A pleasure.

A nice way to meet.

Forgive me if I don't get up.

-Are you okay? -Fine.

My morning pilates session.

Shall I call a doctor?

-I'm going to get Diego. -One moment!

Oh! One moment.

Not a word about this to my kids, not a single word,

I don't want them to worry.

Perhaps they would like to know the truth.

Maybe my son, would prefer to know

that you don't want him to go away in his camper van.

And that you'd be far happier if he stayed.

How do you know what I want?

You want the same as everyone.

Whether you have a piercing or carry a rosary for prayer.

You want to be loved.

We'll make a deal.

I won't mention any of this

and you won't upset Diego any more with my "tone of voice".

Seems reasonable.

One moment, one moment.

I need to ask you something else.

If you want me to look after the mutt when you croak, okay.

No, love, no.

Can you help me to get up?

Oh!

Well, this is your grandson.

C'mon. Up we get.

Marta, here you are.

Dear God, what a rough night.

Hey, maybe your friend is writing his review just now?

I wasn't thinking about that.

What?

I'll make breakfast today.

But...

No, no, enough, Javi, stop it.

You can't just walk in here, I'm working.

Fine, well do your job, you're a doctor,

you have an obligation to help me.

It happened again this morning.

No, no, no...

-David. -I can't even have a piss in peace?

Yes, I'll leave you in peace but help me out here,

what can I do?

Nothing, it's just the way it is, I can't do anything for you.

Nor can any other doctor.

You have to accept it.

Go back home and stop coming to the hospital,

because we can't do anything for you or your little problem.

-And... -That's it.

I don't even want to go any more. Happy now?

-Hey... -Ah!

-Hello. -Hello, how's things?

Sorry.

Don't you remember me?

-Uh? -Yes, yes, from...

You had a problem with...

-No bloody clue. -Not a clue.

Look, we met one time in the doctor's surgery.

Ah!

-I'm very sorry. -Excuse me?

I heard what the doctor said.

They can't do anything for you.

-Ah, well... -Frankly,

it wasn't very nice him speaking to you that way.

You're going to snuff it and they treat you so badly?

Well, don't pay them any mind. Keep fighting.

Look at me, I'd decided to throw in the towel

but I found out I'm going to be a grandfather,

and I'm determined not to go without meeting my grandson.

Well now...

I have cancer of the kidneys.

So? If they can't find someone to give me one of theirs,

I'm off to the other place.

But yours has to worse, right?

Er... Yes, yes, yes.

Mine is bad...

Really bad, I have...

a problem with an organ

which seems to to be incurable.

Can't they cut off the affected part?

No, in these sorts of cases, they won't consider doing that.

Find a reason to keep on living and there you go.

-Are you married? -No.

-Do you have kids? -Er... no.

So you have every reason to live.

How can you die when you have such a great life?

-Do you have kids? -Yes.

And I'm a fool for not having spent more time with them

and with their mother.

But life is great anyway, for christsake.

You know what worst thing is?

Being too stupid to realize it...

until you're about to die.

Chin up, man.

-We have to fight. -C'mon!

I'm no good at this.

I made some toast.

And look.

I had the pan ready to fry some eggs

and the oil wasn't heating up after five minutes.

It was giving off an odd smell but it didn't heat up.

The restaurant review is out, and sorry for asking, but

you were involved with the reviewer, right?

Why do you ask?

I have great intuition you know, and now this review, I dunno.

What does it say?

I wasn't expecting much, but this is...

-Read it. -I don't need to read it.

Wait, I think I forgot...

Shit, the oil!

That's great, I knew that in the end you would reconsider.

Really, I'm very pleased.

You know that without a donor it won't be easy,

but we can begin with a treatment that...

Yes, yes, we'll speak about the treatment.

There's another priority now.

The priority is to find a kidney, that's obvious but...

Doctor, I think that my family should know about my illness.

Put yourself in my shoes.

Yes, of course, it must be a difficult thing to do.

Great! When?

When what?

When will you be able to tell my kids?

The Mexican already knows it.

No, no, come off it, that's not my business.

It's something very personal.

But you just said you'd put yourself in my place?

-Yes of course. -So put yourself in my place

-and tell them. -No, I didn't mean that.

It's a bit strange that I should be the one to...

No, no.

Okay, you can come to the surgery with them

and I'll explain the situation to them a little.

Hey, if I ask them to go to see the oncologist with me,

they might imagine what little surprise is in store.

Well, what do you want me to do?

Go round to your house on Christmas Eve

with some marzipan?

And I'll say: hi, how's things, your dad had cancer and might

not see in the New Year.

Then we sing a few carols. Brilliant.

No, christ, not like that. Anyhow, I don't want to be there.

Joaquín,

it would be better if you speak to them.

I've tried but nothing comes out.

How do you say something like that?

Looking straight into their eyes and coming out with it. Period.

Directly, no messing about.

That's what they teach us doctors.

All those years of study and they give you shit advice like that?

You shouldn't have done that.

If you mean opening the door, I agree with you,

but if you want to come in.

I'm not coming in and I don't want anything more to do with you.

What you did is utterly contemptible, it doesn't suit you.

Or maybe it does. I don't know you well enough.

And it will be difficult to find out if you don't know me better.

So I don't know what you mean.

It's very easy to criticize other people's work.

I don't know if Mario is a bad cook or a terrible cook but

it's better to shit shit than to tread in it.

What a nice turn of phrase.

I could say it doesn't suit you, but I don't know you either.

I know Mario.

And at least he's not scared to do things.

And if you weren't such a coward, you'd do what you wanted to.

Like writing a novel instead of insulting other people.

Well, a poor writer might turn out to be a good critic.

Like the worst wine might turn out to be the best vinagar.

Well, yeah, a good vinagar may the best definition for you.

But I don't want you on my salad.

Marta, hang on a second. Have you read the review?

No, nor do I intend to. I want you to take it down.

-I'm not going to do that. -Why not?

A lot of people are gonna read it and your boyfriend'll be grateful.

-Excuse me? -It's a good review.

A stellar review

and I'm going to recommend that we give him a star.

What? Why did you do that?

Cos it's my job

and it turns out Huggy is a good cook.

One of the best in fact.

Christ.

-Sorry, I thought... -I thought about it too...

and it would have been funny, but it wouldn't have been right.

Seriously? It's a good review?

Yes. Seems I'm a coward but not that much of one.

I wanted to be honest with him. I dunno if you can say the same.

What do you mean by that?

I think you know.

Ring, ring, ring, ring.

Why did we meet here?

Well I've...

I've been thinking about that video game stuff

and I think that on this level,

I still have one life left.

Which means we're going to the next level?

Yeah, as you can see, that's why I brought you here.

To go to the next level you, brought me to Cibeles?

Marta brought Javi here and you thought it was really romantic.

That was their thing,

but what's this fountain got to do with us?

Dunno.

Look, I want to jump levels.

But I don't want your fucking photo on my bedside table.

But you have to do something.

Look, to show you that we're moving forward,

tonight you can come round

and do that thing...

you're always asking me to do.

Do mean the...?

Don't get carried away!

I mean that you can stay and sleep over with me.

Really?

That would be jumping a level.

And can I snuggle up to you?

Don't push it, mate.

What are you doing here?

Didn't you say your father was coming to dinner?

Yes, but...

It's a family dinner, he called me cos he wants to

have dinner with his children, but I can't really introduce you now.

Relax, I'm not staying for dinner.

But as I know your skills in the kitchen, I made dinner for you.

Oh, but that's...

That's lasagne made with duck preserve

and tomatoes with tuna and blue cheese.

I don't know if it's any good, but you won't burn the place down.

Why are you so good to me? I'm not sure that I deserve it.

I'm not doing it for you.

As you're going to be the mother of my children,

you need to be well fed.

I only want one remember.

As long as it's with me, that's okay.

The rest we can adopt, can't we?

Why did you say the review was bad?

I didn't say that.

Thing is, it was so good that I thought...

I thought that maybe you had said something to your friend.

No, no, it was down to you, Mario.

This morning, when you ran off did you go and speak to him?

No. Why do you think that?

I already mentioned that I'm very intuitive.

And somewhat jealous too.

Me? Jealous? I believe in free love, I'm not bothered if...

Okay, yes, I'm jealous, I'm not so zen.

I told you that you can be honest with me, didn't I?

I'm honest, of course I am, you're obsessed with saying that!

But it's the first time I've said it.

Well, I don't like it I'll tell you honestly.

Thanks.

Enjoy!

Just who I was waiting for.

-Panthers! -Panthers!

Well done, panther!

C'mon, Javi!

I told you my "brother" wouldn't let us down.

Well, maybe a ladyfriend'll call and he'll be off.

I won't be running away, this is a Pink Panthers night.

We have to think about where we're going for breakfast.

Okay, well switch off your phone.

There's no need, I'm not leaving.

Another reason why you should. We'll be far more relaxed.

Yes, turn it off.

All of us will turn off our phones 'til tomorrow.

I can't, it's possible the hospital will call me in.

I can't either. Maybe Elisa will call me in.

I can't either, if my wife can't reach me,

I'll be the one in A and E.

We make a great team but no worries, I'll switch mine off.

-Relax, it's Carla. -No, no, don't answer.

It's a Pink Panthers night.

No bother, it's just a minute.

Carla.

What?

Don't worry, where are you?

Relax, I'm on my way.

On your way? What did we say?

She's gone into labour.

She's on the way to hospital, are you coming?

I can't, the one night I'm off please don't make me go there.

If there's no rehearsal, I'm going to Elisa's

we're in a super-romantic moment just now.

I can't either, if I do,

when it's my wife's turn, she'll want me to go with her.

Very well, fucking A.

If I have a heart attack one day,

I hope I'm not with you lot.

Before we go, we have to finish all this beer, right?

-Damn right. -Cheers.

Look 'em in the eyes and say it. Look 'em in the eyes and say it.

Well then.

Kids.

I, er...

Er...

Would you like some wine?

-What about Diego? -He's gone off to Toledo.

-And anyway he... -He what?

He's eaten.

How would you know?

I suppose.

He does what Mexicans do...

You know they have dinner early.

Dad, can you tell us what the hell is wrong with you?

Yes, c'mon. Sit down.

We've been sat down for 15 minutes.

Yeah, okay, well, kids...

You'll be asking why I asked you to come round.

And I'm going to tell you. Straight to the point.

Christ, I can't do it like this! Sit next to your sister!

-Why? -Cos I say so. I'm your father.

You're making us worried now, please tell us what's going on.

I'm trying okay?

Better, much better.

I'm getting.

Getting to the point.

What I want to tell you is...

-It's going to have to wait. -It's really important.

More than meeting your grandson?

-What? -Carla is giving birth right now.

We're here now, we just arrived.

Thanks for letting us know.

I didn't know who to call.

Carla's family is in Barcelona

and your brother isn't answering his phone.

Diego is away in the camper van,

and maybe he can't get a signal.

Or something's up with his brain.

-There you have it. -Hey!

Sorry, but I don't think that's relevant.

-You don't know if... -What do I need to know?

That his pregnant girlfriend is about to give birth...

It's not very grown-up on his part, is it?

Bravo! Mister Reviewer is giving us a lesson in maturity

and about how the rest of us should deal with parenthood.

This is absolutely priceless.

That's got nothing to do with it.

Nothing to do with it?

Damn right it has.

In fact, it's all there.

With the "once upon a time" and moral lesson included.

You're right.

I suppose all that's missing is

the "and they both lived happily ever after".

Something that I can't imagine with you.

I'm sure you'd find something wrong

with the way the partdridges had been cooked.

Marta, it's not fair that you mix this up with...

-something that was ours. -Something that was ours?

You and I don't have a something.

Nor will we.

Hey, hey!

C'mon.

C'mon, c'mon.

Chin up, young man.

I know that things are bad.

But we can deal with it.

I'm not crying about that!

It's okay to cry.

Cry, for godsake, tears are cleansing.

Yeah.

Okay, it's okay now.

-Thanks. -Crying isn't the worst,

the worst is seeing the ones you love crying.

That's what real love is about.

What do you mean?

My kids are out there

and I have to tell them that I'm dying.

What happened, what happened?

-Did something happen to Carla? -No, no it's not that.

-Dad... -What?

He's dying.

Oh, is that it? I was scared for a minute.

I thought it was something bad, I'm going to find Carla.

Carla, are you okay, is the baby okay?

Yeah, he came out like a bungee jumper.

-What? -Are you daft?

Can't you see that I'm here?

I've been discharged, it was a false alarm.

Is the baby okay?

He's fine.

Are you okay?

Yes, well, no. We need to talk.

Do you want to speak here?

Diego, I think it's best if we end it.

That we end it?

-Do you mean the baby? -No, christ, our relationship!

You want me to cancel my trip, is that it?

I want you to stop asking me.

I have to get ready to accept I have to do this alone.

And if it's going to be that way

I prefer to be alone from now on.

Okay, okay, but if you want me to stay, I'll stay.

Just ask me to.

But don't tell me to do whatever I want.

Very well. Do whatever floats your fucking boat.

That tone of voice I understand.

What are you doing here, how did you get in?

Hello!

Giovanni let me in.

I told him I was here to make you breakfast

and I bribed him with some carrot cake.

-Look, smell. -Mario, really I...

Wait, wait.

He's a bit annoying, but he's nice.

-Don't throw him out, please. -You need to get your strength back.

-I'm sure you've been crying. -See? He'd make a good father.

And look what else I've got you, some marijuana cake.

If you feel like having a laugh. It's from the garden too.

Okay, well, a weird dad.

But give him a chance.

Sorry, right now I can only think about my dad.

I have to throw both of you out of my house.

Both of us.

Yes. You and the carrot cake.

If you need time, it's okay, I'll go and that's that.

-Both of us? Me too? -You can wait a while.

If you want me to stay, I'll stay, it's fine.

No, listen, you're being very kind,

but I don't know if I'm being honest with you.

-Honest about what? -Well...

I don't know if I want to have

all the kids that you want to have with me.

Stop, stop, you have to picture it.

Picture what?

Picture the thing you desire.

If you picture what you desire the world will bring it to you.

That's what my Burmese master taught me.

Picture it, picture it, picture it.

Though maybe you don't believe in these things, right?

Sometimes, and I picture things, but maybe not in the same way.

What is the thing you desire most in this world

-Say it. -A kidney for my dad.

Close your eyes and picture it, but the ends not the means.

Do I have to picture a kidney?

You have to picture your father cured and smiling.

The smiling part might be difficult.

This is madness. Do you know what you are doing?

Yes, and that's the sixth time you've asked me.

Is it so difficult to believe I could do something to help?

One thing is give someone a euro to buy a sandwich

and quite another to give a kidney.

It's okay, I don't need it.

I've got another one.

Ramón, you wrote Ramón.

-So it's a joke? -No, for godsake.

The signature is real, the details too.

But I put Ramón cos I don't want Marta to know I'm the donor.

Javier, please, I've seen you do all kinds of things

to get a girl into bed.

But to donate a kidney!

It's too much even for you.

I'm not doing it to get Marta back.

I'm doing it for me. And that's it.

Maybe I'm a coward but I'm also a good person.

Capable of making sacrifices for others.

But I don't want to go around bragging about it

because I'm a humble guy.

Sorry, sorry I thought it was a joke.

-Sorry. -I'm trying to change, okay?

People have the right to change.

Of course

In your case, more than a right, it was an obligation.

Thanks, doctor.

They found a donor for my dad!

But...

Thank you.

This is very strange, I don't know how to thank you.

Jesus, this is amazing.

I always get whatever I picture but...

You have a gift! Five minutes.

It usually takes months or years.

If what you picture is having seven or eight kids with me,

it might take a while to get there.

No, relax, with you I picture something more simple.

And what is it you picture exactly?

-Marrying you. -What?

Bingo!

What do you mean marrying?

It doesn't suit you!

Yeah, I told you I wasn't really so zen.

So?

So what?

What about what?

That's my question. What about what?

Marta.

Will you marry me?