Original subtitles

You are a total dick.

Did you call me a dick?

Yes, a total dick, it's more inclusive.

Great. So fuck you.

-Fuck me? -Yup. Fuck you.

It's not inclusive, but it won't make you fat either.

-Okay, I'm leaving. -No, no, wait.

Please, stay for a while. You can't leave like this.

Like how?

Without paying.

Waiter, the bill.

Waiter, the bill please?

Well, what a shitty date.

And that kind of language? Who taught you that?

You did. You said it last night when you came in.

You're a child, you don't swear.

In truth we do, more than adults.

Just not in front of our parents,

-we're not such di... -Shhhhh!

Seriously, you should watch your mouth.

-How so? -Because I say so. I'm your mother.

Or I will be soon.

Soon, soon, I'm not so sure.

You haven't had a decent date

since the food critic stood you up.

Don't remind me about that dick.

That's where I get it from.

Ok, I said dickhead.

But it's not swearing, it's an adjective.

And if he's a dick, he's a dick.

Hey! What are you doing?

Here, c'mon!

I don't want cereal, I don't like it.

You asked me to buy it.

The normal stuff, not this posh crap.

And I'm not hungry.

So why my salmon?

Cos I knew you'd get annoyed if I ate it.

I already had breakfast.

Great. So now you can eat the Choco Krispis.

You can't leave the table, until you eat them all up.

C'mon!

These aren't Choco Krispis. Anyway, I'm not your kid.

Yeah, but I've got to practice.

And as it's me that's paying, you finish this first okay?

Hey! Where do you think you're going?

I can't even go to the bathroom? Got to make room.

-I already ate. -You're not getting out of it.

And hurry up.

Argh!

You were great, dad.

Just what I need, christ.

You shouldn't swear in front of you daughter.

You aren't my daughter yet, damn it.

What would you say if I start swearing when I'm born?

I'd say it was a miracle. Babies don't talk.

Or when I'm 11.

When you're 11 you won't talk cos you'll be on the Play Station.

First I have to be born then wait eleven more years.

They'll have invented something better than Play Station by then.

No matter what they invent, you'll be grounded.

Dad, aren't you ashamed to be so childish?

Dad, aren't you ashamed to be so childish?

Na, na, na, na...

-Na, na, na... -What are you doing?

Whadyadoin? Whadyadoin?

What's it to you! Finish your breakfast and get to school.

Have you lost it. What school?

Any old school. In your case, anything will do.

What kind of class?

Doesn't matter, why do people do courses?

To hook up. At our age, nobody wants to learn anything.

I don't want to learn anything. I've got too much shit already.

Enough of the swearing.

Courses are for hooking up.

I've done more that 20 this year.

And you've hooked zilch.

But I almost did. And as I never pay they always kick me out.

-Which makes it difficult. -Now it's him!

Isn't it a bit pathetic just to meet guys?

A bit? No, it's really pathetic, dad.

But as I'm the end, I justify the means. Sign up.

I think this one would be okay.

But if you're not sure...

Do it, do it, do it, do it!

Dad, do it!

-Sign up, sign up! -Okay, I'll sign up, give it a rest!

Give what a rest?

Eating Choco Krispis.

-You need to cover your ears? -Yeah, you make a lot of noise.

Crunch, crunch. Can't you eat with your mouth shut?

Jesus! Somewhat over the top.

And don't swear!

What's all this about?

Looks like a plane ticket?

Don't be daft. It's your return ticket to Mexico.

You're leaving tomorrow?

It's been three months.

I should be going, yes.

What do you mean should?

I can't leave you all alone.

And it's nice to see that my leaving gives you strength.

I didn't say that. I just want you to leave me in peace.

Someone has to look after you.

Only I know that you're ill.

But, look.

If you want, we can call Marta, you can tell her, and I'll go.

What the hell are you doing?

I saw all this rubbish,

so we're going to make a decent bonfire.

Do you think we are Arapaho Indians?

This is Europe, we have central heating and

in June it's touching 30 degrees.

Exactly, June. You know what day Saturday is?

The day after Friday.

June 23rd, the night of San Juan, bonfire night.

We don't do bonfires here!

Come on, don't spoil the party!

They don't do this in Mexico.

Remember when you took me when I was a kid,

we wrote down our wishes and threw them on the fire.

Then we jumped over together so they'd come true.

-I don't remember any such thing. -Sure you do.

Don't try to pretend with that macho stuff.

It won't wash, old man.

You were an affectionate father.

Well Mister Affectionate died.

Or your mother took him in a suitcase when she left for Mexico

where you are going tomorrow.

I've already written out my wish.

Don't forget to write yours.

A blind tasting. You're signing up for that?

Right, to come over as the expert.

-Good thinking. -Why should I sign up for that?

To pull. Should I spell it out again?

Shall I explain to you how I can pull more without a course?

Signing up to two. Good thinking.

Why would I do a course that I could give myself?

Have you ever heard of the sex appeal of the maestro?

No.

But good thinking.

This sounds okay. Blind tasting. It says:

"Because wine is more than just love at first sight".

The teacher must be a bit pretentious.

Is that good or bad?

-Depends what his pretension is. -Let's sign up.

Okay, fine. Sign me up.

I'll pull something as I'm a mate of the, teacher. Sign me up.

Okay, That's 200 euros.

How can you charge me?

By card or in cash. The wine is included.

-And the VAT. -You kidding?

As mum used to say, don't fool around with your food.

Aren't you embarrassed to do this to your brother?

I would be normally. Then I figure it's you and I get over it.

And I want girls to sign up, not mates, okay?

So don't tell Rafa about it.

What can't I know about?

Big ears. Nothing. Things that have nothing to do with you.

I heard something about girls.

That's it. Girls. Nothing to do with you.

Okay, don't tell me, I don't care.

I'm off to the cellar, carry on talking.

What are you doing? There's no cellar there.

Course there is. Look. Up I go.

And now, down again.

You can carry on talking.

Okay, okay.

What were you speaking about?

-My brother's giving a course. -Don't tell him. Christ!

Blind tasting.

Sign me up.

David?

I'll sign up too.

Who told him?

I did.

It was him.

Look.

What do you think about this?

And what's this, a psychological test?

One of those "what can you see in this blot" kind?

Very well, I see a little piglet.

It's my son!

I imagine. I'm kidding, Carla.

Tell you something though, if you turn it around...a piglet.

Don't deny it.

What are you saying? What kind of doctor are you?

An oncologist! Thanks for asking cos I know zilch about babies.

Show me a lump from a scan and all I see are tumours.

That's why I said piglet, so as not to be unpleasant.

You have to show it to a gyneocologist.

She's already seen it.

I wanted to show it someone I know better.

Show it to his daddy.

Which daddy?

-The baby's daddy? -No, to the gynecologist's.

Maybe he's from Segovia and likes to eat piglet.

What daddy do you think I mean?

Sorry.

I don't want to tell him anything.

He'd die of fright and started screaming.

Carla, please, It's a baby, not an alien.

Though if you look at it that way up it does look a bit alien.

And if he tells me he prefers the alien doesn't hatch?

It's quite okay.

You know why?

Because Lieutenant Ripley is very brave.

And she'll be able to do it alone.

So that's what you're wearing for the course?

The tasting may be blind, but the students aren't.

They can look and we'll see what happens with the tasting.

-Shit, don't let him see me! -What's up?

That guy, don't look. It's the bald guy.

-But he's not bald. -Yeah

He's got great hair, but he thinks he's bald.

Don't you remember him?

-Ah...that guy! -Exactly.

-And it turned out he was... -Ah ha.

-Then in his restaurant... -Right.

-The business with the minstrels... -Yeah, yeah.

The fucking bald guy's after me.

He's not bald.

Marta!

Marta, is that you?

-What should we do? -Nothing.

As if you weren't with me, slowly.

Marta!

Marta, it's Mario!

Marta!

My name's not Marta.

I know, not you. Her.

She's not Marta either.

She...

dunno what her name is, but not Marta.

Marta.

Hey!

Marta.

What are you up to?

Mario, how's things? I'm "Marta"?

Well, yes.

I wasn't sure you meant me, there are so many Martas.

I hear "Marta" but don't turn round. It can get embarrassing.

Same for me and there aren't even that many Elisas.

I know you're angry.

I found out you work here and came to apologize.

-I’m allergic to flowers. -Since when?

Since always.

Yeah. Can I invite you to dinner.

I can't.

I didn't say when.

I can't ever. In general.

Let me give you a hug to ask forgiveness.

-No way. -If I give it to your friend.

-Okay. -No.

Let's try something.

My famous no-touch hug. Hands-free.

Marta!

He we are, ready to be uncorked.

Well, you come with a screwtop.

Hey!

Isn't that guy your...?

Javi. Nacho.

Yeah, my Javi-Nacho, my Nacho pretending to be your Javi.

He wasn't my Javi.

Cos he stood you up, but he got you hot.

Me? He was smug, snobby and full of himself.

The type that gets you hot.

Shall we go before he sees you? He looks like an abandoned puppy.

Doesn't he just? Poor thing!

No, let's give him a chance.

Hello!

What's a critic like you doing on a course like this?

You must know it all by now?

Yeah, but a bit of recycling is a good thing.

How are you? I haven't heard from you since...

Since you told me you loved me.

For the second time.

I said that I loved you?

No, I mean, yes, but no.

-What no? -I don't love you.

-No? -Perhaps, a little.

But in a normal way. Not for saying "I love you!".

We hardly know each other.

That's what I say.

I only know your name.

Or not, maybe he's not called Javi.

Could you imagine?

Hello. Nice to meet you.

-I’m Nacho. -Nacho?

I think you were with someone called Javi a couple of times,

who looks like me a bit

and says dumb things, like a real loser.

But Nacho is different.

So Nacho is nothing like Javi?

Nacho like Javi? Not the least.

What a pity. You told me that Javi was great in the sack.

-Yes. -Now then.

In that respect, peas in a pod.

We're brothers, it's a genetic thing.

Brothers? Which Javi are we talking about?

I dunno, I thought you we’re talking about him.

Hello!

Good afternoon to you all.

Just what I needed, now I am going to split.

Dad.

Dad.

Dad, I'm home.

Dad?

Are you having me on, old man?

Without wine, there can't be love.

Eurípides, in the fifth century AD.

Champagne? If victorious, you deserve it

if defeated, you need it.

Napoleon Bonaparte.

We are all mere mortals until the first kiss

or the second glass of wine.

Eduardo Galeano.

On this course I'll introduce you to the world of wine tasting.

An art that requires the use of all your senses

and a great deal of calm, because tasting is done in four phases.

Unless you are very thirsty.

Old man!

Dad!

Are you there? Old man!

Old man!

Are you okay, old man?

Holy crap!

Old man!

What are you doing?

In the end, the cancer won't kill me, you will.

I thought something had happened.

What could happen? I'm fine.

Perfect no. You stink, bro.

Open the window.

Can't even have a quiet shit.

And I'm the one worrying about you.

That's what I don't need, you worrying about me.

You or anyone.

Three things a man should do alone: shit, cry and die.

Breathe in deeply and without my help,

write down the first thing that comes into your head.

Buckfast.

And what are you doing here?

Thinking how of all the courses in the whole of Madrid,

I walk into this one.

That's what they call a happy coincidence.

Coincidences are just that, coincidences.

No one says they have to be positive.

Yeah.

I wanted to tell you something about our date the other day,

-which is that... -What date?

Oh the date! Something better cropped up and I didn't go.

Did you wait long?

No, I didn't go either.

In fact, I remembered when I saw you.

Or not when I saw you, but when you reminded me.

-It was you who said it. -Said what?

-About the date. -Ah, I forgot about it again.

Good thing that we didn't go?

We didn't waste any time.

Yes, far better.

Can we get on with the class?

It's costing us money.

Yes, yes, excuse me.

I'm not going back to Mexico.

Your call, but you ain't staying.

Go to Marta's place, or the other one's..

-Which other? -Your other brother.

Why won't you say his name?

Cos I can't remember it!

I know he's got one of those daft names,

Jo..., Joselu, Josete, Josechu, Juanfra...

-Josemi! -Josemi, see what I mean?

Another of you mother's doings, I wanted Joaquín,

like his father, his grandad, easy to remember.

Okay so I'll ask them if I can...

Why ask? Turn up with the cases, that's all.

They'd have to be real bastards to leave you in the street.

Like you're doing.

Exactly what I've been telling you.

Any volunteer like to taste this wine?

-Me. -You for example.

-You look like you want to. -I didn't put my hand up.

Yeah, but I can see your desire.

C'mon don't be shy.

Marta?

Marta, Marta, Marta!

Marta, Marta!

A round of applause.

Hi, well, phase one.

See.

Isn't it a blind tasting?

Yes, that's why the labels are covered up.

So you can only be guided by what you see.

Here and now.

What does wine this suggest to you?

That's it not very transparent.

I don't like it.

You haven't tried it.

You haven't even sniffed, you're going too fast.

Perhaps.

No, the aroma is deceptive.

It comes on strong but, then then sort of dilutes.

You haven't let it express itself yet.

It's a wine with a long aftertaste,

an intense body

and is full in the mouth.

A well-rounded body? Yeah, I'd noticed.

Are you going to taste it or not?

Just as I thought, I don't like it.

-Too predictable. -Fine.

A five minute break.

Javi, Javi!

-Javi! -I'm Nacho.

Yeah, yeah.

I didn't know this could happen at the same time.

I love you.

I'd love to invite you to dinner.

Not today, another time.

Not this month, the one after.

And you pay half.

Hello!

Christ! You frightened me.

I'm so ugly, right?

Kidding.

Obviously, I'm not.

Did you come to tell me that?

-No, no. -How the hell did you find me?

Pretty girls put too much information on Instagram.

Wait, wait.

My karma won't be at peace until you forgive me.

And as you are allergic to flowers, I brought you this.

I grow them myself,

in a sustainable allotment. Look, smell.

Look at the size.

Impressive, isn't it?

Whenever you like, you can come over and see it.

You want me to see your allotment?

Put that way...

Can I hug you?

No! What is it with you and hugging?

What do I do with this?

I'll take it home and use it to make dinner, okay?

You think I'm going to your place?

I'm an optimist. At 9?

I have a card, look.

My address.

On recycled paper.

Why not? 9 at your place.

Perfect.

Wait!

Before you go, will you give me a hug?

Of course I will.

-“Brother"! -Hey, Diego!

What a surprise!

And the suitcases?

The old man, he finally kicked me out.

Can I stay here?

Sure, it'll have to be the sofa, but it's comfy.

How do you know? You've tried it?

Sometimes Carolina makes me sleep there.

One moment, I'll ask Carolina just to check...

but I'm sure it'll be okay.

I think that's enough, okay?

Yeah, sure.

Well.

Yes.

Who's that?

Huggy?

-Is he...? -My boyfriend, yeah.

His face looked familiar. But I didn't think you had a boyfriend.

You're the one without a girlfriend,

if you've set this up just to flirt with the students.

Funny how flirting is

something that only intelligent people can do well.

-Okay, I mean, no. -No what?

You don't have a girlfriend.

You said it. The teacher always gets off with a student.

-Yeah, normally. -Yeah.

Which one is it?

Er, well, it's her.

That one?

I thought she was a nun come to bless the wine.

You'll have a great time.

Not her, the one behind. Look.

I think she's missing me.

Well, I hope you learn a lot on the course.

Hi, how's things?

How are you, mmm...? Renata.

Are you enjoying the world of wine?

Very much.

Though not as much as the teacher.

Sorry, maybe I'm a bit direct.

No, no, it's okay.

It's a strong opening, but let's see...

it's mature and balanced, like a good Pingus.

It's an expensive wine that you won't be tasting here.

Maybe we can taste it at your place.

Hey...

No, she says no.

Oh! Can't you change her mind?

-Make a little effort, man. -When she says no...

Ok. I'll give it a go.

Sorry, sofa's occupied tonight.

I'll be sleeping there.

But "brother"!

You're going to his place to eat?

Let's see. He's cute and cooks well.

Men have been getting married to women

who only meet those requirements for years.

Hello!

Hello, sister!

Guess what I'm doing here?

Dad kicked you out, and you come here

cos Josemi wouldn't let you stay.

How did you guess?

Because of the cases, and because of Carolina.

Yeah.

So what do you say?

Can't you try to convince dad?

Impossible.

-And a hostel? -You're sending me to a hostel?

Or Giovanni?

With me?

Well, we can talk it over.

Thanks, but I'm sure my sister can find me a place.

I've got plans tonight and...

-Please, please. -Okay!

-Fine. -You're the world's greatest sister.

What's this obsession with hugs!

Thanks so much.

My feet are killing me. You don't what know high-heels are!

No, truth is I've never tried them.

You're so funny!

I love guys of your age.

My age?

Yes, I don't mean old, I mean mature,

with years of experience.

And now for sandlewood and jasmin.

Do you like essential oils?

Yes,

but on a tomato, I prefer olive oil.

Are you thinking about dinner?

We have to eat something at, some stage, right?

We should finish this first, no?

-That's three and half hours. -Yeah.

I'm tantric.

I can make love for 18 hours straight.

Congratulations, 18 minutes is usually okay for me.

Aren't you enjoying it?

Yeah, yeah. Relax.

I even enjoyed the part when I dozed off.

Though when I woke up, I didn't know where I was

and had a bit of a fright.

You fell asleep while we were making love?

For a moment, but pleasantly,

don't get all het up.

That's enough for me.

If you want another two minutes to finish...

No, I'm fine, I had around eight orgasms.

What happens is I eyaculate inwardly.

Sure, typical tantric.

A hug before we get up?

The great thing about guys of your age is that we can talk.

You know so much!

And you're like fluffy toys.

Soft and cuddly.

Could you move a fraction? My arm's gone to sleep.

Oh, poor thing, that's your bad circulation. At your age...

Could you stop refering to my age?

Why?

Does it bother you. Hitting fifty?

I'm not fifty for godsake!

Well, thereabouts.

Oh, I love guys with wrinkles.

They make you so attractive.

Tell me about something.

I don't feel like it, weren't we going...

Yeah, to dinner.

You're quite right and I'm dying of hunger.

Okay, I'll cook something.

Hey... You know what?

I just remembered. Shit! The cooker's broken.

And the technician couldn't come.

What a mess, I'll call you a taxi.

We can have dinner another time

We could order Chinese?

Or is Chinese a bit rich at your age?

No, I've experienced far worse things.

You've got chickens too?

Have you seen them?

Plenty of space to run free.

Look, free range.

Real free range, smell.

Smells like a hen.

A hen's ass.

But very fresh.

-What are all these tubes? -Ah!

A system I made myself to turn my faeces into compost.

All natural, to spread on the allotment.

You'll see how good the lettuce is.

Ah! Shit, I just remembered I've got my little brother at home

and I shouldn't leave him for long.

-He's only 8. -Oh, yeah.

You can't go like this.

And I volunteer in an old folks home as well.

The old ones need a lot of help.

Let's see, you like pensioners.

Hey, the Chinese. I'll go.

No, no, I insist. It's easier for me to get up.

You're not Chinese are you?

I came to see Javi.

-But if he's busy, I'll go. -Carla?

Are you okay?

Javi.

What happened?

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life,

-I’m all alone. -Do you want a tissue?

I'm going to the bathroom.

What's wrong with her?

Her hormones are all over the place.

She's pregnant.

Oh. And why has she come to your house at this time of night?

You're friends I suppose?

Look, Renata, I won't lie to you.

Carla is far more than just a friend.

What do you mean?

Well, I'm...

I'm the father.

Of Carla? I'm not that old for fuck's sake.

The father of her child.

You're going to be a father? And you didn't tell me!

I dunno, it didn't come up.

We've been talking all night.

-Well, you were talking all night. -Uh!

Don't worry, you'll get over it.

Seeing as you're so young...

I showed the scan to the to the guy from Extremadura.

Yeah.

And your tears tell me that he didnt...

I'm not crying, shithead,

-I’ve got something in my eye. -Sure.

Let's see, you don't care about him, right?

Yeah.

No.

I dunno.

What's more, he told me he's going back to Mexico.

What do you mean Mexico? He's Mexican?

Wasn't he from Extremadura?

I thought so, but I'm not

very good with accents and as he told me he was from Merida...

Come here, c'mon.

What are you doing up?

I have something to tell you.

But you have to sit down.

I'm going to the bathroom.

To wee, not to cry.

And if she's lying about the pregnancy?

Why would she trick you. If she says she is, she is.

Yeah.

How do I know it's mine?

That's true.

Perhaps it's not yours.

Or maybe it is.

Yes, maybe.

-Or not. -Or not.

Could be, yes.

Could be, yes.

-Stop repeating everything! -I just don't know what to say.

I can't believe you're going to be a parent before me.

I can't either.

-I have to get some air. -Hey!

Now you're going to be a dad,

have you seen a boy like this, around here?

A kid?

Nothing. Forget it

The guy from Extremadura? Great.

Shit!

What's this girl on?

Take that! And that and that!

Suck on that! Bitch.

Diego!

Diego?

Jesus, how dumb!

What a daft way to miss someone.

What are you doing here?

No, you tell me why you're here.

I'm meeting Rafa, to speak about stuff.

Are you nuts?

You're meeting the guy from Merida,

you forgot to wipe your whatsapp chat.

Yes, I fucked up. The messages I mean.

But meeting the brat, is a good idea.

I'm not a damsel in distress.

And a bit of respect. This brat is father to my child.

What are you doing here?

-And you? -Well. Er...er

I asked first.

-Have you got a tissue? -No.

I'm going to the bathroom.

I haven't introduced you, this is Carla, a friend, who's...

a bit sensitive, forgive her.

Because she's pregnant, right?

Well, yes, by some lowlife brat who...

and how the hell do you know?

Well, because...

let's say I have a sixth sense for these things.

And for knowing where I am as well, right?

First the course, now here.

Are you following me?

Why would I be following you?

I don't know, maybe you're obsessed with me.

Excuse me. Perhaps you are obsessed with me.

I am not following you.

Nor me you.

So why did you come?

Well, because...

The Rio bar has good write ups on Trip Advisor.

Yes?

Great. Last time I looked they were shit.

And I imagine they still are, you've got half a star.

I must have got the wrong bar.

It must be another Rio bar,

in a different neighbourhood.

Ciao.

Dad!

What are you doing?

Oh, hello, nothing, I was passing by.

No way, it's not on your route, oldster.

Come on! Out with it.

Well.

Okay, son.

You see.

I...

Better if I leave.

You miss me and want me to go back with you?

What are you talking about?

Please, please, What are you saying.

The only Mexican I ever missed in my life was

Hugo Sánchez when he left Real Madrid.

The one who's coming home with me is Substitute.

C'mon.

You're taking the dog so as not to admit you miss me?

No, clever clogs, I'm taking him cos your sister ignores him.

I should have given her some shoes,

she'd walk them more than the dog.

What's up, chum what's up?

See? He's happy to see me.

Why are you like this? It's like you don't want us to love you.

Let's see if you're any different, if you're a father some day.

You do have my genes.

C'mon, lets go.

C'mon, off we go.

Home time.

Jesus.

Do you have any love raincoats?

You mean condoms.

Yes, but put like that it's not very romantic towards Elisa.

Yeah.

Just as well as this is only once a year.

Thanks.

Hey.

-And now you want to? -You can't sleep, right?

No. Nacho won't let me

It's not Nacho, it's because of Marta.

Who is Marta?

What do you know about it?

At heart you know shes the perfect one,

but you won't admit it.

It's not true.

See? You won't admit it.

You're thinking about Mario, right?

Mario, the tantric guy?

No, no way.

He doesn't convince me at all.

Why? Tell me one defect he has.

He's healthy, sensitive, committed, funny, generous,

ecological, sporty, handsome, a good cook.

I said defects.

Yup, they're all defects, don't you see?

He's perfect, too much so.

I just hope your maternal instinct is better

than you instinct for men.

What would you know?

I like them to be more...

normal.

Like Javi, no? Neither one thing or another.

Javi?

What Javi?

C'mon, time for bed.

I love you.

I heard you.

What?

What are you talking about?

I didn't say anything.

Go to sleep.

What?

I know he's not my type,

it's an act of altruism.

If I don't shag him, no one will.

Yeah, you don't like him.

Course not.

But he's got something that's got me hooked.

Well that thing: you don't know, but I do.

I'm going to the bathroom.

Arrh!

What was that?

What?

Arrh! That.

Just breathing hard.

What's up? Isn't breathing allowed now?

If you want, I'll choke.

Look, the first row.

Is that so you can see the teacher up close?

You shouldn't drink before class.

Hi all. Can you hear me?

As today is the last day of the course,

we want to announce a farewell party.

In the Río bar, which is my place, very close by.

And you are all invited.

That's everyone.

Thanks.

Hey, if you want... Yes, I'm going. With my boyfriend.

He usually comes, you know?

I can't see the attraction in a rough wine.

I prefer a rough one, than an old one without sparkle.

Mmmm.

Well.

Hello, today a difficult concept.

Matching.

Matching can...

Teacher, a question!

A pregnant girl can't drink, right?

She shouldn't of course.

Is that why you give wine tasting courses?

Sorry, I don't quite know what you mean.

Is this about drinking wine or

so that the girl you got pregnant can't be here?

And you can get off with other women!

And we almost didn't come.

I don't know what this about

-but it's not the right... -I talking about Carla,

the mother of your child.

Really, Renata, it's none of your business

-and no one else is interested. -Yes, yes, I am, yes.

Is Carla small, with short hair, tattoos, dark?

Yes, that's her.

No, wait.

Wai...

Hey, excuse me.

You don't get off so easily!

Shit!

Sorry.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

It's nothing. Don't worry.

Excuse me.

I'm going to kill you!

I don't know why but it always ends up the same.

Diego!

Diego, are you here?

Why are you sleeping there? I did give you a bedroom.

Why didn't you reply? I've been calling for ages.

What? Why don't you answer?

What's she doing here?

What are you doing here, don't you have a course?

Better than this one.

-The kid's not yours. -What?

-It's not mine? -What is this lady on about?

Girly, you can be a dirty liar,

-but please don't call me "lady". -What lie? It's his.

Stop pretending! The kid's not yours, it's...

Whose?

Well, this guy.

You're saying that just to blame the first person

who walks through the door, right?

No, it's his.

And what are you doing in my house?

This time I did follow you, I wanted to explain.

Can someone explain it to me?

Carla's kid is not mine,

I said that to Renata to get her off my back.

I don't know this Renata,

but why is my sister saying that Carla's kid's not mine?

Is it me or does this seem like a Mexican soap opera?

-Do you know this guy? -Yes, but he's not the father.

We've never...

Well, once a long time ago and he was a...flop.

-That doesn't matter Carla. -It matters to me.

Seems like you've shagged half of Madrid?

What's it to you who I shag,

or if I have kids? You have a boyfriend: Huggy.

No, I couldn't care less.

Well I do. Because Diego is my brother.

What? The guy from Extremadura?

Who is the guy from Extremadura?

This guy.

Shall we get back to the important, question. Am I the father or not?

-Yes! -I said it was mine...

to get rid of a girl.

And I realize it was...

Lowdown, sexist, shameful and in particular, cowardly.

But I already knew that about you.

But you don't know me at all.

When you get scared, you don't turn up for dates.

I'm not so cowardly, anyway,

I called the restaurant and they said you weren't there.

What? Who told you?

I dunno, it was the...

Can you leave us alone.

I'm going to my room.

Where are you going?

With you, I can't stay with them over there.

Out.

Okay.

Are you going to the party?

If I do, I'll be with someone.

Are you going with Huggy?

-Stop calling him that! -Okay, okay.

Don't say a word to anyone about this, okay?

Sorry.

Sorry.

I was delayed, picking flowers,

then I remembered your allergy.

You didn't have to bring anything.

I brought you a little something.

Incense sticks of mandragora resin.

Berber brides would light them on their wedding night,

as they believed it would boost their fertility.

And as you design wedding dresses, I thought you might like them.

And they're Fair Trade.

You see? You're perfect.

Me? Not at all

Maybe a little. Yes

I don't know how to say this, but I want to be sincere with you.

I know I invited you but when I saw you come in I thought:

what a pity this guy found the bar!

Wow!

I find sincere people like you incredible, it blows my mind!

If you're not for me today, do your own thing. So will I.

With other people?

Yeah, yeah, each one of us, in our own space.

If we're not connected today, no big deal.

It's not about today or about being connected.

It's that, er... How can I put it?

I don't like you.

I don't believe it, you just told I was perfect.

Perfect men make me sick.

And what is it you don't like?

The fact that you think you're so wonderful.

And all this hugging business.

-Hugging? -Yeah, it makes me nervous.

-Come off it. -You see?

It's obvious that today you're blocked.

So I'm going to go home and we'll speak some other time.

Thanks.

I'm sorry.

A farewell hug?

Okay, okay.

Wow. You call him Huggy?

I'm not sure why that rings a bell.

What the hell are you doing there?

I was in the cellar.

There's no cellar there.

Of course there is.

Look. I go down.

And come up again, right?

We're you spying on us?

If I can buy you a drink somewhere else, I'll tell you.

I can't because I... I mean, that...

You have to be quicker with the excuses.

So you don't have a plan.

Fine, but we could have the drink here, couldn't we?

Yeah, but as today is San Juan,

we could jump over a bonfire.

Or does fire frighten you?

Nothing frightens me.

What a gentleman, waiting for me at the door!

Do you have a thing with the nun?

Excuse me, I'm not a nun.

-So you do. -I do what?

You're going out together.

Well, we haven't spoken about it, this is only our third date.

But if you want to, cos I like you.

Better speak about it some other time, right?

Yes, sure, shall we go in?

You go in, I have to speak to...

No, you go in too.

What's going on here? Are you two involved?

With this guy? Not if we were alone on a desert island

or if destiny threw us together a million times.

Don't think about ducking.

Oh!

What's wrong with her?

Nothing. It's the night of San Juan

and fire drives some people a little crazy.