Original subtitles

- Who? - This GPS lady.

Yes, I meant that forest road, jerk.

Jerk?

It sometimes hangs, a pirate version.

If you can, turn back.

Immediately. Can't you hear what I am saying to you, jerk?

I'm out of reach.

Fucking great.

Take off your clothes!

Eustachy?

- What? - It has begun.

- What? - A war!

- What war? - What for?

Whatever. For a complex.

- What complex? - The bunker complex.

We'll win if we defend it for 15 minutes.

Get changed.

Now. Move, move, move!

Good luck.

Karol! Karol!

We've got the complex!

Karol! Karol!

- Are you there? - 15 minutes have passed!

The complex is ours!

What the hell?

Men only. What's she doing here?

Mira is going to do a pole dance.

- You'll dance for us. - Okay, I will.

This one is classic, makes you laugh.

This is "Afghan wind."

Strong stuff.

This one we call... "all flowers of Holland."

Colourful... and psychedelic weed.

But be careful with this one.

- "The ravines of the Hindu Kush." - Hishu what?

The Hindu Kush.

You start seeing things which do not exist.

I'll take ravines, please.

Is it legal?

Fireworks!

Fireworks.

Man...

Look up.

Okay, boys.

My taxi is waiting.

Well, I'm off.

We could go with her.

Karol!

- Quiet! - What happened?

We won.

We won the war.

What war?

For the complex.

Karol.

Oh, Karol.

Okay.

One, two, three.

You won't break me.

I won't tell you anything.

Don't kill me! Don't drown me!

I'll tell you everything. It's Roman Dolny.

Don't burn out my eyes!

It must be those ravines.

No, no, no!

I can't. I have a girlfriend.

- Do you have a headache too? - Everything hurts.

- Coffee. - Strong, black. Thank you.

Man, it seems I didn't know you.

It seems I didn't know you, either.

I can't remember experiencing anything like that before.

It was after the Hindu Kush.

Who brought that shit anyway?

My cousin.

It seems I didn't know him either. He's a teacher.

- Apparently, he has a vocation. - I had erotic dreams.

They were awesome.

Tell us.

You were there.

You were in mine.

I also had dreams.

Amazing.

This rav-something of the Hindu Kush should be banned.

- Ravages. - Ravens.

Ravines.

My erotic dreams are quite... nice.

Tell us.

Thank you... Asia.

- Ania. - Ania.

I dreamt of Karol.

Was there a striptease in the woods?

- Did you strip off? - I think, Karol did.

That's interesting.

It seems I didn't know you, Karol.

Let's get down to work for a change.

Negotiation techniques in extreme situations.

Mr Dolny, get up.

You should be called Doldrums.

Cheer up, Doldrums.

Hello, Karol. Dinner is almost ready.

- You look... - How?

Do we have guests?

I don't want any guests. I'm tired.

They are not guests but...

...the rest of the household.

Karol!

Karol.

Honey, are you feeling bad?

- Irena has made some spaghetti. - The way you like it... tender.

And I'm baking a cake, tiger.

What?

Excuse me.

- Goodbye. - Karol.

You're not going to leave now, honey.

But you're here...

...together. How?

Honey, it's obvious.

We'll do you good.

You love us all, don't you?

Isn't it better to live together than spend most time in traffic jams?

- Such an idea. - Reasonable.

Very reasonable.

We want to make your life easier.

- Monogamy is passé. - Impractical

Polygamous relationships...

...are more efficient.

Wanda has just told me all African countries...

...are polygamous. Isn't it great?

Just imagine.

And Africa is the cradle of humankind. Am I right?

A hidden camera?

- Ajoke? - Honey. Try it.

Too little salt, I knew it.

Is it some kind of punishment for me?

- Yours. - My idea?

It's you who decided to be with four of us.

We've only drawn some conclusions.

Are you happy?

And we'll look after the baby together.

- Little Karol. - Karol or Karolina.

IN AN EMERGENCY BREAK THE GLASS

Five years of non-smoking. Screw it.

What happened?

Karol.

My nails.

What happened, Karol?

What happened here?

You are bleeding!

Get the first aid kit.

- Paulinka. - I shouldn't get upset.

You'd better rest but we must talk now.

No whining. Now!

I am always cleaning.

I shall begin.

At this moment...

...l'd like to...

...sincerely...

...apologize.

Girls, I'm really sorry.

It's my fault.

Sorry for this collective apology. You should be apologized individually.

I'm sorry.

It's a great prank, really.

Chapeau bas!

We had a good laugh but now we should...

...part on amicable terms. Right?

It's not the point.

Totally.

Let's talk about... sex.

- What sex? - Isn't it clear?

Our sex, Karol.

- Sex with you? - Sex with all of us.

We have one controversy.

Your opinion could help us.

- How shall we sleep? - Notjust sleep.

- Maybe later. - Or before.

- I speak for myself. - Let me finish.

- I was to say it. - Okay.

- One speaker. - I want to speak.

- Leave it. - Because I'm pregnant?

- Tell them. - You can speak, okay.

I don't agree with Wanda's ideas.

- I'm not so liberated. - But it's just normal.

Sorry, but it isn't normal.

In my opinion Wanda is right.

- I'd like to try it. - Look, he has no clue what we want.

Basically, do you prefer group sex or separately with each of us.

Then we'd have a schedule.

Each of us has it almost twice a week.

- But you every day. - Logical.

For me twice a week is not enough and I prefer group sex.

- Group sex is a sin. - Don't exaggerate.

At least we can try.

- I never have. - Me neither.

Me neither.

- But... - Outvoted.

Four at the same time.

- Regularly? - Yes.

Cool.

- You think it's cool? - It's every man's dream.

You have four hotties in your bed and do what you want with them.

It's like... the most beautiful porn in the world.

But it's not porn, man.

It's reality. Got it?

It's them who do want they want, not me. Just look at me.

I never sleep.

They cuddle up against me.

When I free myself from one, another one gropes me. Four of them.

Fucking awesome.

Karol...

- Maybe... - Maybe what?

Maybe... I don't know...

Maybe one day you could invite... me.

And what would I do with you in that bed?

Anything else?

Yes.

We'd like your... phone number.

I'm terrible with numbers but I recommend our cheesecake.

- Yes, please. - One cheesecake.

Karol, leave something for others.

- I asked for cheesecake. - No kidding.

- Has Eustachy invited you yet? - Invited where?

A stag night is followed by a wedding.

In the woods?

- No, in the clouds. - Where?

On the roof.

- Can I tell him you'll bring four escorts? - No, I won't.

I'll be on my own. Alone.

But...

Karol... take Paulinka at least.

- Your cheesecake. - Thank you.

- Anything else? - Yes.

Would you go to a wedding in the clouds?

Yes?

I'm going to...

...arouse your passion tonight...

...drive you insane...

...seduce you...

...and propose to you.

Great plan except for that last thing.

Good. I just wanted to provoke you.

- So don't provoke me. - Why?

Since you don't know how I look then.

Paulinka?

Hi.

Is it you?

It's Dolny.

I think one should try everything in life.

Even...

...unusual things.

- Seemingly shocking things. - Like what?

Ania...

Can I have this dance with you? It's important.

And the next one with you, okay?

With pleasure.

- I feel like dancing with the groom. - So I'll dance with the bride, okay?

- It's nicer here than in the woods. - What woods?

It doesn't matter.

Sorry.

- I'm gonna kill him? - Sorry? - Nothing.

Paulinka!

Boys, come over here. 3 girls are waiting.

Come over here.

Hi.

Excuse me, I'm a bit hot.

- Not shaken, not stirred, no ice but fast. - Whisky?

One more.

Drinking alone?

You're not dancing?

I can dance with you, not with them.

Why don't we go to your place?

We'll misbehave, be naughty.

We know what it's like in here.

Will you seduce me and drive me insane?

And I won't propose.

Let's go.

- Who are those girls with? - I don't know... Maybe with Roman.

It was supposed to be our evening.

It was much better with you than in the clouds.

Apparently, flying with you is addictive.

Shall we meet?

I'll come round in the afternoon.

Then in the evening or...

...at night and even in the morning.

Seducing you and driving insane is my new hobby now.

Sorry, I must finish. Bye.

Hi, little tiger.

Hi.

- Will you make me some tea? - Sure.

Mint tea?

Do you have a hangover too?

- Pregnant women shouldn't drink. - It's not a hangover.

When I go dancing a little, I feel dizzy all week.

Karol...

That Roman...

Is he your best friend?

Dolny?

A friend.

Funny.

Funny, it's a good word.

And you somehow vanished.

I saw you for a minute at the bar but later I didn't.

Probably...

Probably...

I was walking... here and there.

Our paths just didn't cross.

Excuse me.

Surprise!

- Hello, Karol. - We're on holidays.

Holidays... in my house?

No, in Tenerife.

Our flight is at the crack of dawn.

We'll just sleep here and you'll drive us to the airport.

You look great. Where's Marysia?

Who's that?

And this is...

This is... This is our housemaid.

Paulinka, say hello, please.

Good morning.

Hello, I'm Józef Górski.

Karol's Dad.

- You didn't say you had a maid. - I forgot.

Good morning. You have visitors.

Marysia's friends are staying for a few days.

- I see. - It's very nice.

It's very nice to have such friends.

So the ladies have come to visit Warsaw. A good idea.

It's a beautiful city. Marysia and Karol are great guides.

Monuments. Good restaurants.

Have you taken them to that club we once went to?

A strip club. Really worth going.

- Five dancers on five poles. Awesome. - Pass me the knife.

Unforgettable.

Be careful, honey.

In Warsaw there are so many theatres and museums. An opera house.

You could take the ladies...

...to the zoo. - Good idea.

Take them to the zoo.

Okay, the show is over. Brunch is served, everyone seems happy.

Bunch up, I'm starving.

I'm pregnant. I must eat well.

That's right. If you're pregnant, you must eat.

Karol, it kicked me.

- Can you feel it? - Which month? I'm a doctor.

But in the army.

- Your tummy is quite small. - It's the second month.

It can't be kicking then.

I'm pregnant, not you. Right?

So I know when Karol is kicking.

Karol or Karolina, the names after daddy.

Marysia, can you explain it to me?

Yes.

Of course, I can.

So they are Irenka and Wanda who are not here for the zoo.

And Paulinka isn't our housemaid.

We live and make love... together.

We formed a polygamous relationship as Karol is incapable of monogamy.

Monogamy is passé.

We wanted this and it's fantastic.

We have shared the chores.

We must finish with false morality hindering our emotional expression.

And sex for two is just boring.

Fucking awesome.

- It was their idea. An experiment. - An experiment.

Don't get upset. It's not a new idea. Hippies lived in communes,

had free love. Weren't you a hippie?

No, I wasn't.

Polygamy is a form of marriage recognized in Africa and Asia.

And we just want to...

adapt it in our country.

I'm not against experiments.

Just the opposite. I support them.

But as a father and as a doctor...

I'm asking myself if this burden

is not too heavy for Karol.

No, we don't have any boundless sexual needs.

- I only need it once a day. - Me too. - Me too. - Me too.

Twice when ovulating.

- What about your wedding? - That's a good question.

Is everything fine?

Nothing is fine.

I understand that... the wedding is cancelled.

Bigamy and polygamy are not legal in Poland yet...

so we just shack up.

I see.

Sheik up.

Are you stressed?

Józef!

- We're leaving. Say goodbye. - Why?

- Hurry! - Our flight is next morning.

We'll stay at the airport. There are hotels.

- Mum. - If you insist.

- I'll give you a prescription. - I'm well.

But you need more strength.

Zinc, selenium, vitamins. Viagra?

No!

We're leaving.

Hold on tight, Karol.

I'm on your side.

You need more proteins in your diet. It helps.

Farewell, ladies.

- Mum. - Hippie.

Karol, honey. Don't worry.

They'll have a grandson soon.

Then some more.

Some banana.

To Karol!

- And your current situation doesn't suit you? - Absolutely not.

It doesn't suit me at all.

So you start seeing advantages of monogamy.

What? No, I wouldn't go too far.

And emotional issues? Do you feel a bond...

with all your women or at least one?

What do you mean?

What?

You mean love?

Exactly.

Butterflies in the stomach, right? Throes of passion.

Angels singing, misty eyes. They don't exist!

I've never felt anything like that. It's bullshit.

Bullshit sold to women by producers of soap operas

and romantic comedies.

Why are you asking me such things? Try to cure yourself.

Sometimes I feel like... running away.

Are you being chased?

No, but...

Yes, I am.

Would you run away with me?

It depends where.

And for how long.

The Maldives?

For two weeks.

A small hut.

Thatched.

Resting on stilts above a blue lagoon.

The floor is transparent so we can admire fish swimming below.

Beautiful, colourful.

A gentle swoosh of coconut trees. Nobody around. Not a soul.

So everyday we run naked on the beach and sunbathe.

We swim in warm water.

- Do you like seafood? - Yes.

So we eat seafood and fruit.

And we only drink champagne.

You and me.

- Next week... Yes? - Yes.

Yes, yes, yes...

Come, quickly.

And you luggage?

Thank you.

What's wrong with you, people?

Excuse me.

10 minutes left.

- You came late. - I'm always late.

- Mr Górski and Ms Matysik... - It's us!

...check in at Gate B24. - It's us. Good morning.

Hello. It's us.

- Yes, but who? - Adrianna Matysik and Karol Górski.

- I'll kill you. - I'll kill myself.

- I'm sorry but it's impossible. - Oh, please.

Will you do it for me?

Excuse us.

We're sorry.

- Traffic jams. Taking off soon. - We're sorry.

Clogged up.

Traffic jams.

At the crossroads.

- Why are you here? - Flying with you.

We'd never miss such a trip.

Sit down, please.

- How could you? - It's not her fault.

It's our idea.

- Sit down. - I can't.

I'm not going.

I'm not going!

It's impossible.

Captain!

Don't take off.

Hello RMF FM Radio. Is there a Karol you haven't portrayed?

I protest because I get off.

I'm not flying! Do you understand?

Don't take off.

People!

Captain!

Help!

Germans are beating me! Help!

For a public order offence, attacking the officers

and disturbing the air traffic,

Karol Górski is sentenced

to...

...3 months of community work.

Does the defendant understand the verdict?

Yes.

I could have sent you to prison.

Do you realize?

Yes.

Have ever been to the Bieszczady Mountains?

No.

And I have.

A beautiful place.

I am, you are, he, she, it is.

We are, you are, they are. Easy, right?

Now let's repeat. I...

...am, you are, he, she, it is.

We are, you are, they are.

- They are. - What?

- They are. - Dzey are.

It was the indicative mood.

Now the negative mood.

It is much more important than the indicative mood.

We must know how to say no.

I knew a guy who couldn't say no and ended up miserably.

What happened to him?

He got confused for good.

What happened next?

He started to learn how to say no.

No! Let's repeat. No!

- No! - Louder!

- No! - No!

- No! - Never!

- Never! - I am not!

- I am not! - No, no, no!

I'm sorry.

I am.

Hi, Karol. Hi, kids.

- What are you doing here? - Can we talk?

Yes. But the bell is in 10 minutes.

Things have changed.

Our secretary Ania lives with Mira.

But they say it's just an experiment.

Irena is with Pawel, Wanda's husband.

I mean ex-husband.

They're very happy.

Wanda is our boss now.

I mean our boss's wife.

You'd have connections.

Marysia lives with 3 boyfriends now.

She says she prefers polygamy.

They say so too.

And Paulinka?

This is why I'm here.

Paulinka invites you to her wedding.

She wants you to be her witness.

Who with?

Who's she marrying?

Me.

Yes, me.

You're mad.

No.

And the baby?

What baby?

She wasn't pregnant. Her period was late. That's all.

So what?

Do you agree?

- Where is he. - I have no idea.

- Why is he always late? - And why today?

- What if he doesn't come? - Impossible. He promised.

We're waiting for the witness.

At last!

- Sir. - Father.

Father, it's our witness.

There will be one more witness, my sister Beata Dolna.

Good. Let's begin.

My sister is the other witness. You don't know her. Look after her.

Is it her?

- Beata Dolna. - Oh... Karol.

I'm in love.

For the first time in my life.

Better late than never, son.

Oh my God.

Am I in love?

- What shall I do now? - Don't worry!

We can work it out!

Subtitle Rip; TheHeLL