Original subtitles

Subtitle Rip; TheHeLL

You have no phobias.

You have no other alarming symptoms.

You are not battling against any serious problem.

Is that right?

Correct.

Are you happy?

- Yes. - Fulfilled, satisfied?

Definitely.

Pleased with your life and yourself.

Then...

What are you doing here?

You know, I'm a psychoanalyst.

I'd like to know what your problem is.

Excess.

Excess is my problem.

Excess of what?

We've been together for so long, Karol.

I'm so happy with you.

Karol...

Me too.

Karol, wait.

It's time.

Will you marry me?

Right now. I can only be happy with you.

Will you marry me, Karol?

Karol, not working today?

- What's the time? - 9:20.

My cell didn't ring.

Maybe the battery is flat again. Who do you call so often?

Certainly not me, honey.

- A tie. - Okay.

Mira...

Mira, it's me.

Are they pissed off?

Waiting so long they surely are.

- My cell went flat. - Who do you call so often?

- What time will you be here? - It depends on where I am.

- Where are you? - In my car.

- Where is your car? - I don't know. In a traffic jam.

Don't ask me where the traffic jam is or you can...

...ask my ass.

You can ask my ass!

- Morning. - Morning. Here you are.

I don't have a...

When a man hurries, the taxman is happy.

I'll have to write down your words of wisdom.

- And that... - I know what.

I'll do it myself. Thank you.

At last! 25 department managers...

of the biggest Polish bank are waiting for you.

What's the topic?

- Aren't you prepared? - I always am. What's the topic?

- Disguising your assertiveness. - I don't need a presentation.

Disguising your assertiveness. Where?

Upstairs.

- Your notes. - Leave them.

Why are they applauding?

Shame on you.

Not too good.

Very bad.

You've been duped.

You've been duped like children.

In negotiations you must keep your cool.

Calmness.

Composure.

Hiding...

...your emotions.

Your reaction to my being late proves you have no faintest idea about it.

Therefore we'll have to work on that.

This is the topic of today's training.

But you were one hour late.

Wrong! I wasn't late.

I only showed you one of the oldest negotiation techniques.

Unnerving your opponent before starting the talks.

And all of you have been taken in.

Read once again what today's topic is.

And memorize it.

Disguising your assertiveness in negotiation techniques.

Round the neck, yes?

- Up, up. Not so much! - I'm sorry.

Once again. Come on.

- I can't. - Karol...

Are you hungry? I have beef.

Better not, your husband might be early.

My husband is always late. Unshackle me.

- Where are the keys? - Where you put them.

- I don't remember. - Just find them.

My glasses.

- Unshackle me. - Okay, wait.

Here.

I'm sorry.

After dinner you'll strangle me again.

Karol, do you love me?

Would I be here if I didn't?

Then why do you spend so little time with me?

Little?

2 weeks ago: 5 hours, 43 minutes.

Last week: 5 hours, 24 minutes. This week even less than 4 hours.

And it's Thursday. It's a downward trend.

But we use our time most efficiently.

We spend all the time in bed.

- You never take me anywhere. - I do what I can.

You're so hard to please.

You're back at last!

How can you work so long, poor thing?

It's been a hard day. I'm exhausted.

You would look at me when I brushed my teeth.

- Karol! - What?

Who are you talking to?

To myself.

Thanks, man.

I'm sorry. Can we not do it today?

I'm really tired.

- Karol. - Move to your side.

- What's up? - Please, go.

- Don't you love me? - I do. Just not today.

Not today, not today.

- Move to your side. - So do you love me or not?

I do.

So prove it.

Now!

Wait. Your lipstick.

- Karol! - What?

Karol, you taste mint.

Wait, because...

Good morning.

Here.

Take it easy.

Anything for a quiet life.

You're right, as usual.

One missy is waiting for you.

If you wish, I can let you in through the back door, as usual.

- It won't be necessary, thank you. - Are you sure?

Women will bring you to ruin.

- Paulinka, what are you doing here? - Karol.

At last! I've been pining for you. Such a long time.

- We saw each other two days ago. - Really?

- Yes. - You see?

I thought it was a couple of months. I can't live without you.

- Especially now. - Why now?

I'm pregnant.

- You're what? - Pregnant.

It's great, isn't it?

Excellent. Who with?

Stupid question. With you, tiger.

- But you took those pills, tablets. - I did.

Sometimes I forgot.

I bought a new lip gloss. With a light.

What?

It doesn't matter.

I have a small bean here.

Teeny-tiny.

Our baby. You're happy, aren't you?

- A bean? - Yes.

- I must go to work. - Why?

I'll call you and you'll tell me about that been.

- Will you call me? - I will.

Karol.

- Are you still going to marry Marysia in 3 months. - Why?

I don't know if I should make plans or what.

Nothing has changed. Is that clear?

Yes. Of course. Thank you.

What a surprise. Karol is not late.

No, we just start later.

Still, I'm pleased.

I'm also pleased we have more and more satisfied clients.

For some mysterious reasons a demand for our training courses is surging.

They want to know all dirty tricks.

Excuse me?

You're right but we're here to train senior management,

not improve the world.

Yes.

You should be all ears as Karol's results compared with yours

are like The French Revolution compared with our toilet queue.

- But nobody queues there. - That's right, Mr Dolny.

A cappuccino... you asked for.

Thank you... Asia.

Ania.

Thank you, Ania. I had no time

to drink coffee. Sorry.

Can we also count on special treats?

Sure, I'll get thermoses with tea and coffee.

Sure.

I don't care how you do it as long as you make me rich.

Did you take a pregnancy test?

Is it positive?

And positive means that you are.

Did you read the instructions?

Perhaps you peed in a wrong way or it's for some other disease.

I know pregnancy is not a disease.

You just have those test lines.

I do love you and I'm happy.

I'm just a little... surprised.

I must finish, I can't talk now. I'll call you later.

Man, do you want to pay for the fire brigade?

I sealed the smoke detector.

Nice. Thanks. Now I can have a lung cancer

caused by passive smoking and burn to death in a men's toilet.

Karol.

Are we buddies?

- Yeah. - Tell me how you do it.

- But what? - All these hotties run after you.

- You're no prince charming. - No?

Perhaps you can help me too.

I've been trying to pick up this coffee girl for some time now.

Yeah.

Shall I help you? Okay.

Try it with each other. You might discover new horizons.

Actually, I do nothing special.

I always agree with them.

I look after them.

I laugh when they tell jokes.

I compliment them.

Sincerely?

Yes.

Why should I be insincere? I really like women.

You like them because you like having sex with them?

Is there another reason?

No...

I just like them.

Sex is good but I like everything.

They are... pleasant...

...to the touch.

They smell nice.

I love talking to them. Talking to men always bores me.

I'm sorry.

No offence.

I can talk all night long.

To a woman.

It's not boring at all.

Do you know a girl you haven't slept with?

No.

No.

They somehow force me into it.

They force you.

But you resist.

Excuse me?

Have you ever refused?

Just said "no".

That's the point.

It's my biggest problem.

No, I can't refuse a woman.

I have never refused a woman. I can't even imagine that.

It would be hard to say.

Excuse me, I haven't turned it off.

Hello?

Hi, Wanda.

In thirty minutes?

But I can't.

Absolutely, I can't.

But...

Try to understand me.

No.

Okay, I'll be there.

Right now?

Two weeks in December and January.

Christmas party, New Year's Eve, all inclusive.

Plus you get paid as a speaker.

- In Bali? - Yes.

Something wrong?

Honey.

The tropics.

Just the ocean, you and me.

- And all your firm. - Just 50 people.

But they won't bother us.

- Karol. - What?

I persuaded my boss they all needed negotiation skills training.

He agreed.

Wanda, no.

It's Christmas. How can I explain it?

To whom?

- My family. - Come on.

Honey, aren't you happy?

I am happy.

I'm very...

...happy.

Open the boot!

How could you come 90 minutes late?

Just today.

Not 90 but 80 minutes, honey.

We won't get there in 4 hours.

But we will in 5. And your parents' celebration is only tomorrow.

- I hate driving after dark. - The car has lights, honey.

- I locked it. - My bag!

The roads are illuminated.

- I can drive. - No way.

- Why not? - You must be punished. Get in!

Can you drive a bit faster?

50 km/h is too slow.

It's bad for the engine!

For sure... it's bad.

Why are your parents remarrying?

They aren't divorced.

What?

Are they? They aren't.

Right?

From work.

But the weekend has begun and I don't work at weekends.

I won't answer it.

40km/h, I'm begging you.

So I was late.

Do you know what time it is?

- This is the news. - Ajogger would be faster.

My woman beats me.

It's not science-fiction but true.

The police say one Polish woman in five beats her partner.

Let's switch.

The most frequent reason? Refusing sex during major sporting events.

I'm really sorry.

I was late. I'm sorry.

Don't be mad.

- Honey. - Do not touch me!

You're always late.

Don't treat me like that!

You have time for me, you have no time for sex.

You just don't want to.

I always want to, even after a hard day's work.

I drive too slow, my tea is too sweet, my pasta too hard and wine too red.

- And those telephones. - From work.

It's crazy. I know it's from work. Answer it.

It must be important. More important than me.

We're getting married in 3 months but who cares?

You don't.

- Why are you with me? Do you love me? - I do but watch out.

My parents are remarrying after 30 years. Do you know why?

They love each other.

I understand. A car, watch out!

So what? You're ruining my life. I want to die!

But I want to live!

Leave it!

Can you see what you've done?

- Pull over. - Don't order me.

- Doing 40 and the police stop us. - You are to blame.

Beautiful.

Can you give me my purse?

- It's at the back. - How should I know?

- Stop it. - How should I know?

Do you need backup?

Good evening. Your licence and registration, please.

Have you been drinking?

No, I haven't.

- Why are you crying? - I'm not.

- It's here. - I know.

It's his fault.

- Good evening. - What has he done?

He no longer loves me.

- May I see your licence too? - But I love her. Really.

Why licence?

You nearly caused an accident, so offer no resistance

but give me your licence.

Okay.

Dear husband and wife.

30 years ago...

in the presence of God you joined in holy matrimony.

You vowed to love each other and to be faithful

till death do you part.

30 years with one wife. No way.

I'm so happy. In 3 months we shall be giving you our best wishes.

- Congratulations. - I'm so happy, darling.

- I'm not. - What?

- Come and help me make coffee. - Of course.

With pleasure.

- Have you tried dark beer? - Sure.

- And lager too. Homemade? - Sure.

Both dark and lager. Homemade.

Our own barley, hops and water.

Try it and you'll never touch factory-made beer again.

Cheers.

Exquisite, really.

So you fell out.

Not really but...

She sometimes has these mood swings.

Tell me about it.

Girls will be girls.

Being 30 years with her mother I learned a lot.

A lot!

It's a long time. I admire you.

To drink beer you don't have to buy the whole brewery.

In case of beer and women it's a lie. I know something about it.

Mum.

I don't know what's going on but something is going on.

He has no time for me, doesn't show interest in me. He has changed.

It's not like it used to be.

Girls always want it be like the day they fall in love.

It's not like that. Love evolves,

changes, ripens.

Once I couldn't drive him away. Now he drives me away.

It has evolved.

Do you want to know the secret of a happy relationship?

Sex.

Every day.

No matter what.

Your house is burning, you're sick, tired or in agony.

Sex... is the answer.

- Sex isn't vital. - So what is?

You must keep him on a short leash.

They like it.

And you...

Sorry.

You...

...and your wife...

...every day? - For 30 years.

10,950 days.

Oh, man.

Life is hard.

What shall I say?

Like hands of a washerwoman.

Do you know whose advice it was?

Our parish priest's.

30 years ago he married us.

- How did he know? - His great grandpa had told him.

He lived 70 years with his great grandma.

25,550 days.

They did it every day.

- Mortal combat. - Oh my.

The priest said that a Mass for his soul was in red.

He was treated like a martyr.

Not so bad.

And maybe...

And maybe he's got someone?

You must be joking, mummy.

Impossible. I would sense that.

Is it something big in your pocket... or you're just pleased to see me?

No.

I want to pee.

- Flying. - What's flying?

- A helicopter. - You've drunk too much.

Your dad told me to.

You should have drunk a glass not a bucket.

Marysia...

I really love you, you know?

You know I love you.

But only when you're drunk.

My phone.

Going through someone's phone is not like me.

It's great you're driving so carefully as I don't feel too good.

I have this unbearable feeling.

It really bothers me that

there are so many fine women in the world I will never meet.

So many beautiful women who will just pass me by.

And I will never kiss them, you know.

I won't sleep with them.

A half of the world's population are women.

You can't sleep with them all.

But at least I can try.

The idea of spending my whole life with one woman scares me to death.

Whose idea was it?

Undying love.

Loving only one woman makes no sense.

- Have you ever loved a woman? - I love them all.

Do you think it's all right?

Yes.

So why do you come here?

Exactly! Why?

- You're here at last. - What?

What is it?

23 minutes, 30 seconds late.

- I can't make up my mind. - A strange place for a meeting.

- We've never met in a shop. - There was no good reason.

- And now there is? - The wedding.

- The wedding? - You must help me to choose a dress.

I don't remember.

Have I mentioned our wedding, really?

Not our wedding, not yet. My friend's.

But it's nice you suggested that. I'm glad you finally coughed it out.

Oh, Karol.

It's so nice you mentioned the wedding.

I didn't mention the wedding.

I didn't mention the wedding.

Don't strangle me today. Be gentle.

Sorry. Just as you wish.

Have you got your trip confirmation?

What trip?

To Bali.

Have you seen the doctor?

In your condition you should.

To confirm it or exclude it.

Can you stop talking?

Karol.

I thought you'd never apologize to me.

I apologize to you every day.

- Do you love me? - All the time.

All the time, all the time...

I'm thinking about our wedding now.

What would you say if we switched colours?

I'll be in a black dress and you in a white suit.

What do you think?

Karol.

Yes?

Or maybe not.

I'll be wearing a suit and you'll be wearing a dress.

Okay.

Mr Górski...

Let's do our coaching training again.

Honey, don't.

- Don't fall sleep. - I have to sleep.

I'm begging you. I have to sleep.

Oh, Karol.

- Have you put on weight or what? - Hang on.

I'll hold it and you pull it.

Take a breath.

Hold it.

Hold it.

A bit more. Breathe out.

You'll suffocate.

- I bought this size on purpose. - Why?

To let it overflow.

- Small dresses are sexy. - But uncomfortable.

Comforts will come later. Now I have to fight.

Excellent.

Is your fantastic, fabulous, perfect guy coming too?

Yes, you'll see him at last.

You've told me about him so often. I feel as if I knew him.

Karol is... perfect.

Impossible. Not with such a name.

What's wrong with his name?

I used to date one Karol.

Good-looking, intelligent, great in bed.

But if I met him now I'd bite through his artery and drink his blood.

What happened?

I was one of the six girls he slept with at the same time.

A catholic with his own harem.

He says you're the one

after storming the beds of five dirty bitches before.

You work too much.

- They even bother you at weekends. - Exactly.

I told her I didn't want to but she forced me.

- They forced me. - Who?

Mira, the coordinator.

That lesbian again?

Can't you have your weekends off?

Unfortunately, I can't.

Weekend trainings are best paid.

Why are you wearing this suit?

Who are you going to train?

You'd be surprised.

I'm going to train...

...senior clergymen

- Poor thing. - They also need help.

I'll be thinking... how to make it up to you.

Only elevated thoughts, because of the trainees.

- They just can't make love to women. - Poor things.

I'll see you off.

Karol... Karol!

- What? - You forgot something.

Bali for one?

I'm sorry.

Darn it!

For the most beautiful girl at this wedding.

- For me? - Of course.

The bride and groom?

On their way. Agata is dying meet you.

Really? It's nice.

- What the hell are you doing here? - I came to...

This is Karol.

Yes, this is Karol.

The one I told you about.

It's the one I told you about. This Karol.

This Karol?

- Who's Karol? - Me.

I'll kill you, bastard!

Marysia...

I know it's unethical.

But sometimes we come to a dead end.

- Where is that training? - In their headquarters.

- I might go there straightaway. - The boss has called a meeting.

Again?

We have more meetings than trainings.

- It's normal. - Okay.

I'll try to come on time.

- After you. - Thank you.

Good morning. Excuse me, where is CTC Consulting?

On the ground floor, you work there.

Really? Yes.

Can you approach the column?

- But why? - I'm begging you.

I work on the second floor.

Thank you. Bye.

Bye.

Excuse me, sir.

Ms lzabela!

Take it easy. Everything is under control.

- Did they talk to each other? - No.

- Do they know each other? - No, they don't.

They've been waiting for quite long.

Probably won't give up.

Damn it! I must get to my office.

Hang on.

Hi. I'm here.

Bravo.

Why are you so scared?

What? No. Why do you think so?

- Has it started? - No, the boss is late.

I'm waiting for Karol Górski.

- Do you happen to know where he is? - Yes, I do.

As far as I know...

...he should be in his room now.

What do you mean?

I mean his office room.

- In the office? - I'll show you.

- Really? - Yes, with pleasure.

You're so kind, thank you.

This way.

- Come in. - Thank you.

Karol, this is...

- Paulinka. - Hugo.

Paulinka wants to see you.

- Hi, Paulinka. - Karol.

I'm sorry.

You're not calling me,

- so I decided to come and see you. - Hi, Paulinka.

You know, time is short. We have to choose a name.

A name for our child.

Come to my place. We don't want to disturb.

Excuse us.

Thank you so much.

Excuse me. Thank you.

Mr Dolny...

Paulina...

- Why didn't you call me? - I did.

- But you were out of reach. - Because I'm working, honey.

Now I'm busy too.

Great.

You don't have time for your baby.

- Of course I do. - Listen then.

We'll call the girl Karolina. From Karol.

And the boy will be Karol. Also from Karol. Karol II.

Great. What if it's neither a boy, nor a girl?

But what?

I'm just asking.

- What's wrong? - I'm upset.

- I have a meeting. It has just begun. - I see.

- You're driving me out. - No.

- You no longer love me. - Paulinka.

You've told me so many times...

What?

Karol.

It's just begun.

- Where? - I feel sick.

- Strong coffee helps me. - Coffee.

Breathe. Can you sit down?

Why don't you lie down?

Breathe deeply. Carefully.

Wait.

Legs up.

But don't give a birth yet.

Coffee... strong... soon.

Karol!

Cream and two spoonfuls of sugar.

And you? Not at...

- Not at the meeting? - The boss must cool down.

- She needs coffee. - In her condition?

- I'll make it. - Will you... look after her?

- Be with her? - Be with her? What do you mean?

I have some other duties.

- Wanda, honey, I'm sorry. - Oh, Karol.

Why are you waiting here? Didn't he tell you?

He told me you were not here.

He's hopeless. You could call me.

- I called you many times. - I was out of reach.

- In a tunnel perhaps. - So I started to worry.

What's the matter?

- Honey. - Boss.

Have you got that trip confirmation?

What trip?

Our trip to Bali.

To Bali? No, I haven't.

- Why? I have - Have you? I haven't.

I'll make a scene. What incompetence!

- Call them now. - But I'm busy

I'll call you when I'm not out of reach.

Karol, listen.

I admire you.

You have a special gift.

You do have a gift.

- I'm begging you. Don't waste it. - Thank you.

I try to do my best.

- Excuse me? - What?

Excuse me. Thank you.

Me and Karol are getting married.

Yes.

Karol, at last.

I've just learnt Eustachy is getting married.

- Yes? - Can you imagine?

Fantastic. He's having a stag night.

On Sunday. You're invited.

- Are you better? - What?

Yes, I'm better.

Just behave yourselves at the stag night.

My little tiger.

- Come. - Where?

Where are we going?

Bye.

Bye.

Don't call me your little tiger.

Watch out, gentlemen, 10 wives is maximum,

warns an 84-year-old Nigerian.

And Mohamet Abukara is an expert as he has 86 wives.

Is it punishment or just extreme happiness?

Good?

Good.

- What is it? - Moonshine.

I haven't drunk mass-produced vodka for years.

It gives me a headache.

I'd like to thank you for helping me in the hall today.

Don't mention it. We must help each other.

Zdzislaw.

Karol.

I'll tell you one thing, Karol. Beware.

- Of what? - Of women.

- I've been married five times. - It's a lot.

What happened? Why five times?

I was an incurable romantic. I believed in undying love.

My problem is I can't refuse a woman.

It's the same with me.

I'm also so kind.

It's just hard to say no.

What's the conclusion?

I'm a full-time security man.

Also a full-time postman.

And at night I drive a taxi. Just to pay alimony.

But I've grown wiser.

How? What do you do now?

Firstly... I don't get married.

No matter what.

Secondly...

I always have rubbers on me.

Help yourself.

Have some more.

Thank you.

I still never refuse any woman.

And remember that getting older you become more popular with women.

Really?

Jesus Christ.

Nice.

A stag party in the woods. What's the plan?

What can you do in the woods? Drink, howl to the moon...

...and misbehave.

In 100 metres turn right.

- Turn right? There's no road. - Maybe she meant that forest road.

- Who? - This GPS lady.

Yes, I meant that forest road, jerk.

Jerk?

It sometimes hangs, a pirate version.

If you can, turn back.

Immediately. Can't you hear what I am saying to you, jerk?

I'm out of reach.

Fucking great.

Take off your clothes!

Eustachy?

- What? - It has begun.

- What? - A war!

- What war? - What for?

Whatever. For a complex.

- What complex? - The bunker complex.

We'll win if we defend it for 15 minutes.

Get changed.

Now. Move, move, move!

Good luck.

Karol! Karol!

We've got the complex!

Karol! Karol!

- Are you there? - 15 minutes have passed!

The complex is ours!

What the hell?

Men only. What's she doing here?

Mira is going to do a pole dance.

- You'll dance for us. - Okay, I will.

This one is classic, makes you laugh.

This is "Afghan wind."

Strong stuff.

This one we call... "all flowers of Holland."

Colourful... and psychedelic weed.

But be careful with this one.

- "The ravines of the Hindu Kush." - Hishu what?

The Hindu Kush.

You start seeing things which do not exist.

I'll take ravines, please.

Is it legal?

Fireworks!

Fireworks.

Man...

Look up.

Okay, boys.

My taxi is waiting.

Well, I'm off.

We could go with her.

Karol!

- Quiet! - What happened?

We won.

We won the war.

What war?

For the complex.

Karol.

Oh, Karol.

Okay.

One, two, three.

You won't break me.

I won't tell you anything.

Don't kill me! Don't drown me!

I'll tell you everything. It's Roman Dolny.

Don't burn out my eyes!

It must be those ravines.

No, no, no!

I can't. I have a girlfriend.

- Do you have a headache too? - Everything hurts.

- Coffee. - Strong, black. Thank you.

Man, it seems I didn't know you.

It seems I didn't know you, either.

I can't remember experiencing anything like that before.

It was after the Hindu Kush.

Who brought that shit anyway?

My cousin.

It seems I didn't know him either. He's a teacher.

- Apparently, he has a vocation. - I had erotic dreams.

They were awesome.

Tell us.

You were there.

You were in mine.

I also had dreams.

Amazing.

This rav-something of the Hindu Kush should be banned.

- Ravages. - Ravens.

Ravines.

My erotic dreams are quite... nice.

Tell us.

Thank you... Asia.

- Ania. - Ania.

I dreamt of Karol.

Was there a striptease in the woods?

- Did you strip off? - I think, Karol did.

That's interesting.

It seems I didn't know you, Karol.

Let's get down to work for a change.

Negotiation techniques in extreme situations.

Mr Dolny, get up.

You should be called Doldrums.

Cheer up, Doldrums.

Hello, Karol. Dinner is almost ready.

- You look... - How?

Do we have guests?

I don't want any guests. I'm tired.

They are not guests but...

...the rest of the household.

Karol!

Karol.

Honey, are you feeling bad?

- Irena has made some spaghetti. - The way you like it... tender.

And I'm baking a cake, tiger.

What?

Excuse me.

- Goodbye. - Karol.

You're not going to leave now, honey.

But you're here...

...together. How?

Honey, it's obvious.

We'll do you good.

You love us all, don't you?

Isn't it better to live together than spend most time in traffic jams?

- Such an idea. - Reasonable.

Very reasonable.

We want to make your life easier.

- Monogamy is passé. - Impractical

Polygamous relationships...

...are more efficient.

Wanda has just told me all African countries...

...are polygamous. Isn't it great?

Just imagine.

And Africa is the cradle of humankind. Am I right?

A hidden camera?

- Ajoke? - Honey. Try it.

Too little salt, I knew it.

Is it some kind of punishment for me?

- Yours. - My idea?

It's you who decided to be with four of us.

We've only drawn some conclusions.

Are you happy?

And we'll look after the baby together.

- Little Karol. - Karol or Karolina.

IN AN EMERGENCY BREAK THE GLASS

Five years of non-smoking. Screw it.

What happened?

Karol.

My nails.

What happened, Karol?

What happened here?

You are bleeding!

Get the first aid kit.

- Paulinka. - I shouldn't get upset.

You'd better rest but we must talk now.

No whining. Now!

I am always cleaning.

I shall begin.

At this moment...

...l'd like to...

...sincerely...

...apologize.

Girls, I'm really sorry.

It's my fault.

Sorry for this collective apology. You should be apologized individually.

I'm sorry.

It's a great prank, really.

Chapeau bas!

We had a good laugh but now we should...

...part on amicable terms. Right?

It's not the point.

Totally.

Let's talk about... sex.

- What sex? - Isn't it clear?

Our sex, Karol.

- Sex with you? - Sex with all of us.

We have one controversy.

Your opinion could help us.

- How shall we sleep? - Notjust sleep.

- Maybe later. - Or before.

- I speak for myself. - Let me finish.

- I was to say it. - Okay.

- One speaker. - I want to speak.

- Leave it. - Because I'm pregnant?

- Tell them. - You can speak, okay.

I don't agree with Wanda's ideas.

- I'm not so liberated. - But it's just normal.

Sorry, but it isn't normal.

In my opinion Wanda is right.

- I'd like to try it. - Look, he has no clue what we want.

Basically, do you prefer group sex or separately with each of us.

Then we'd have a schedule.

Each of us has it almost twice a week.

- But you every day. - Logical.

For me twice a week is not enough and I prefer group sex.

- Group sex is a sin. - Don't exaggerate.

At least we can try.

- I never have. - Me neither.

Me neither.

- But... - Outvoted.

Four at the same time.

- Regularly? - Yes.

Cool.

- You think it's cool? - It's every man's dream.

You have four hotties in your bed and do what you want with them.

It's like... the most beautiful porn in the world.

But it's not porn, man.

It's reality. Got it?

It's them who do want they want, not me. Just look at me.

I never sleep.

They cuddle up against me.

When I free myself from one, another one gropes me. Four of them.

Fucking awesome.

Karol...

- Maybe... - Maybe what?

Maybe... I don't know...

Maybe one day you could invite... me.

And what would I do with you in that bed?

Anything else?

Yes.

We'd like your... phone number.

I'm terrible with numbers but I recommend our cheesecake.

- Yes, please. - One cheesecake.

Karol, leave something for others.

- I asked for cheesecake. - No kidding.

- Has Eustachy invited you yet? - Invited where?

A stag night is followed by a wedding.

In the woods?

- No, in the clouds. - Where?

On the roof.

- Can I tell him you'll bring four escorts? - No, I won't.

I'll be on my own. Alone.

But...

Karol... take Paulinka at least.

- Your cheesecake. - Thank you.

- Anything else? - Yes.

Would you go to a wedding in the clouds?

Yes?

I'm going to...

...arouse your passion tonight...

...drive you insane...

...seduce you...

...and propose to you.

Great plan except for that last thing.

Good. I just wanted to provoke you.

- So don't provoke me. - Why?

Since you don't know how I look then.

Paulinka?

Hi.

Is it you?

It's Dolny.

I think one should try everything in life.

Even...

...unusual things.

- Seemingly shocking things. - Like what?

Ania...

Can I have this dance with you? It's important.

And the next one with you, okay?

With pleasure.

- I feel like dancing with the groom. - So I'll dance with the bride, okay?

- It's nicer here than in the woods. - What woods?

It doesn't matter.

Sorry.

- I'm gonna kill him? - Sorry? - Nothing.

Paulinka!

Boys, come over here. 3 girls are waiting.

Come over here.

Hi.

Excuse me, I'm a bit hot.

- Not shaken, not stirred, no ice but fast. - Whisky?

One more.

Drinking alone?

You're not dancing?

I can dance with you, not with them.

Why don't we go to your place?

We'll misbehave, be naughty.

We know what it's like in here.

Will you seduce me and drive me insane?

And I won't propose.

Let's go.

- Who are those girls with? - I don't know... Maybe with Roman.

It was supposed to be our evening.

It was much better with you than in the clouds.

Apparently, flying with you is addictive.

Shall we meet?

I'll come round in the afternoon.

Then in the evening or...

...at night and even in the morning.

Seducing you and driving insane is my new hobby now.

Sorry, I must finish. Bye.

Hi, little tiger.

Hi.

- Will you make me some tea? - Sure.

Mint tea?

Do you have a hangover too?

- Pregnant women shouldn't drink. - It's not a hangover.

When I go dancing a little, I feel dizzy all week.

Karol...

That Roman...

Is he your best friend?

Dolny?

A friend.

Funny.

Funny, it's a good word.

And you somehow vanished.

I saw you for a minute at the bar but later I didn't.

Probably...

Probably...

I was walking... here and there.

Our paths just didn't cross.

Excuse me.

Surprise!

- Hello, Karol. - We're on holidays.

Holidays... in my house?

No, in Tenerife.

Our flight is at the crack of dawn.

We'll just sleep here and you'll drive us to the airport.

You look great. Where's Marysia?

Who's that?

And this is...

This is... This is our housemaid.

Paulinka, say hello, please.

Good morning.

Hello, I'm Józef Górski.

Karol's Dad.

- You didn't say you had a maid. - I forgot.

Good morning. You have visitors.

Marysia's friends are staying for a few days.

- I see. - It's very nice.

It's very nice to have such friends.

So the ladies have come to visit Warsaw. A good idea.

It's a beautiful city. Marysia and Karol are great guides.

Monuments. Good restaurants.

Have you taken them to that club we once went to?

A strip club. Really worth going.

- Five dancers on five poles. Awesome. - Pass me the knife.

Unforgettable.

Be careful, honey.

In Warsaw there are so many theatres and museums. An opera house.

You could take the ladies...

...to the zoo. - Good idea.

Take them to the zoo.

Okay, the show is over. Brunch is served, everyone seems happy.

Bunch up, I'm starving.

I'm pregnant. I must eat well.

That's right. If you're pregnant, you must eat.

Karol, it kicked me.

- Can you feel it? - Which month? I'm a doctor.

But in the army.

- Your tummy is quite small. - It's the second month.

It can't be kicking then.

I'm pregnant, not you. Right?

So I know when Karol is kicking.

Karol or Karolina, the names after daddy.

Marysia, can you explain it to me?

Yes.

Of course, I can.

So they are Irenka and Wanda who are not here for the zoo.

And Paulinka isn't our housemaid.

We live and make love... together.

We formed a polygamous relationship as Karol is incapable of monogamy.

Monogamy is passé.

We wanted this and it's fantastic.

We have shared the chores.

We must finish with false morality hindering our emotional expression.

And sex for two is just boring.

Fucking awesome.

- It was their idea. An experiment. - An experiment.

Don't get upset. It's not a new idea. Hippies lived in communes,

had free love. Weren't you a hippie?

No, I wasn't.

Polygamy is a form of marriage recognized in Africa and Asia.

And we just want to...

adapt it in our country.

I'm not against experiments.

Just the opposite. I support them.

But as a father and as a doctor...

I'm asking myself if this burden

is not too heavy for Karol.

No, we don't have any boundless sexual needs.

- I only need it once a day. - Me too. - Me too. - Me too.

Twice when ovulating.

- What about your wedding? - That's a good question.

Is everything fine?

Nothing is fine.

I understand that... the wedding is cancelled.

Bigamy and polygamy are not legal in Poland yet...

so we just shack up.

I see.

Sheik up.

Are you stressed?

Józef!

- We're leaving. Say goodbye. - Why?

- Hurry! - Our flight is next morning.

We'll stay at the airport. There are hotels.

- Mum. - If you insist.

- I'll give you a prescription. - I'm well.

But you need more strength.

Zinc, selenium, vitamins. Viagra?

No!

We're leaving.

Hold on tight, Karol.

I'm on your side.

You need more proteins in your diet. It helps.

Farewell, ladies.

- Mum. - Hippie.

Karol, honey. Don't worry.

They'll have a grandson soon.

Then some more.

Some banana.

To Karol!

- And your current situation doesn't suit you? - Absolutely not.

It doesn't suit me at all.

So you start seeing advantages of monogamy.

What? No, I wouldn't go too far.

And emotional issues? Do you feel a bond...

with all your women or at least one?

What do you mean?

What?

You mean love?

Exactly.

Butterflies in the stomach, right? Throes of passion.

Angels singing, misty eyes. They don't exist!

I've never felt anything like that. It's bullshit.

Bullshit sold to women by producers of soap operas

and romantic comedies.

Why are you asking me such things? Try to cure yourself.

Sometimes I feel like... running away.

Are you being chased?

No, but...

Yes, I am.

Would you run away with me?

It depends where.

And for how long.

The Maldives?

For two weeks.

A small hut.

Thatched.

Resting on stilts above a blue lagoon.

The floor is transparent so we can admire fish swimming below.

Beautiful, colourful.

A gentle swoosh of coconut trees. Nobody around. Not a soul.

So everyday we run naked on the beach and sunbathe.

We swim in warm water.

- Do you like seafood? - Yes.

So we eat seafood and fruit.

And we only drink champagne.

You and me.

- Next week... Yes? - Yes.

Yes, yes, yes...

Come, quickly.

And you luggage?

Thank you.

What's wrong with you, people?

Excuse me.

10 minutes left.

- You came late. - I'm always late.

- Mr Górski and Ms Matysik... - It's us!

...check in at Gate B24. - It's us. Good morning.

Hello. It's us.

- Yes, but who? - Adrianna Matysik and Karol Górski.

- I'll kill you. - I'll kill myself.

- I'm sorry but it's impossible. - Oh, please.

Will you do it for me?

Excuse us.

We're sorry.

- Traffic jams. Taking off soon. - We're sorry.

Clogged up.

Traffic jams.

At the crossroads.

- Why are you here? - Flying with you.

We'd never miss such a trip.

Sit down, please.

- How could you? - It's not her fault.

It's our idea.

- Sit down. - I can't.

I'm not going.

I'm not going!

It's impossible.

Captain!

Don't take off.

Hello RMF FM Radio. Is there a Karol you haven't portrayed?

I protest because I get off.

I'm not flying! Do you understand?

Don't take off.

People!

Captain!

Help!

Germans are beating me! Help!

For a public order offence, attacking the officers

and disturbing the air traffic,

Karol Górski is sentenced

to...

...3 months of community work.

Does the defendant understand the verdict?

Yes.

I could have sent you to prison.

Do you realize?

Yes.

Have ever been to the Bieszczady Mountains?

No.

And I have.

A beautiful place.

I am, you are, he, she, it is.

We are, you are, they are. Easy, right?

Now let's repeat. I...

...am, you are, he, she, it is.

We are, you are, they are.

- They are. - What?

- They are. - Dzey are.

It was the indicative mood.

Now the negative mood.

It is much more important than the indicative mood.

We must know how to say no.

I knew a guy who couldn't say no and ended up miserably.

What happened to him?

He got confused for good.

What happened next?

He started to learn how to say no.

No! Let's repeat. No!

- No! - Louder!

- No! - No!

- No! - Never!

- Never! - I am not!

- I am not! - No, no, no!

I'm sorry.

I am.

Hi, Karol. Hi, kids.

- What are you doing here? - Can we talk?

Yes. But the bell is in 10 minutes.

Things have changed.

Our secretary Ania lives with Mira.

But they say it's just an experiment.

Irena is with Pawel, Wanda's husband.

I mean ex-husband.

They're very happy.

Wanda is our boss now.

I mean our boss's wife.

You'd have connections.

Marysia lives with 3 boyfriends now.

She says she prefers polygamy.

They say so too.

And Paulinka?

This is why I'm here.

Paulinka invites you to her wedding.

She wants you to be her witness.

Who with?

Who's she marrying?

Me.

Yes, me.

You're mad.

No.

And the baby?

What baby?

She wasn't pregnant. Her period was late. That's all.

So what?

Do you agree?

- Where is he. - I have no idea.

- Why is he always late? - And why today?

- What if he doesn't come? - Impossible. He promised.

We're waiting for the witness.

At last!

- Sir. - Father.

Father, it's our witness.

There will be one more witness, my sister Beata Dolna.

Good. Let's begin.

My sister is the other witness. You don't know her. Look after her.

Is it her?

- Beata Dolna. - Oh... Karol.

I'm in love.

For the first time in my life.

Better late than never, son.

Oh my God.

Am I in love?

- What shall I do now? - Don't worry!

We can work it out!

Subtitle Rip; TheHeLL