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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,169 [♪♪♪] 2 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,888 - Hm. - What's the headline, George? 3 00:00:57,058 --> 00:01:01,093 - "Local officials concerned over booming cat population." 4 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:04,930 According to a recent survey there are, quote, 5 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:08,067 "A lot of cats in this town." 6 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:11,937 - That many, huh? 7 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:14,106 - And they say if the trend continues 8 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:17,976 by the year 2010 there will be, quote, 9 00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:21,547 "A lot more cats in this town." 10 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,349 - Will this madness never end? 11 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,251 - I don't think so, Dick. 12 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,288 You see, when two cats fall in love, the male cat-- 13 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,523 - I know, I know, George! 14 00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,060 I was--I was on the porch outside with you 15 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:39,164 when--when we saw the, um, the show. 16 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:43,335 - Oh, what a morning. 17 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:47,506 First, the wallpaper hanger showed up an hour late for work. 18 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,041 - You're over an hour late yourself, Stephanie. 19 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,677 - Then, they just stood around drinking coffee 20 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,780 and gabbing about their personal problems. 21 00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,485 Anyway, the carriage house looks great. 22 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,019 You really should see it sometime. 23 00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:03,688 - We'd love to. When? 24 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:08,460 - Ah, Joanna, that was just an expression. 25 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,596 A pleasantry. It's like when I say, "How are you?" 26 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,265 I don't really expect an answer. 27 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,000 - By the way, Steph, thanks for that 28 00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,569 super cocktail party last night. 29 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,506 You must have had 2-300 people there. 30 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,107 - You see, Dick, I wasn't dreaming. 31 00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,343 There really was a mile-long conga line 32 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:27,312 going up and down our driveway. 33 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,815 - Half of Vermont rates and--and we don't? 34 00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:34,186 - Well, I didn't think you'd fit into our circle. 35 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,321 - But George would. 36 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,991 - He scribbles those caricatures of people 37 00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,594 that are just out of this world. 38 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,999 Okay, okay, okay. 39 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,570 You want to drop by tonight? 40 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,274 - Well, we hate putting you out like this. 41 00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,108 Maybe we should bring our own dinner. 42 00:02:57,278 --> 00:03:00,412 - Aw, you're a dear. 43 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,680 But no red meat. 44 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,114 Michael is trying to lay off. 45 00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:05,584 How about chicken Kiev? 46 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,253 - There's something quick and easy. 47 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:11,557 [APPLAUSE AND CHEERS] 48 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,626 - Hi, I'm Larry. 49 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:15,627 This is my brother, Darryl. 50 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,497 And this is my other brother, Darryl. 51 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,499 We're here to return George's drill. 52 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:21,966 - Aw, thanks. 53 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,236 - Unfortunately, Darryl's root canal 54 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:27,306 took a tad longer... 55 00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:28,973 than expected. 56 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,775 - Well, here's your problem. 57 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,612 You had the bit in upsidedown. 58 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:40,252 - Miss Stephanie, thanks again for last night's elegant soiree. 59 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:45,591 My brother so enjoyed tickling the ivories on your new spinet. 60 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,892 - You and the Darryls were invited too? 61 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,828 - Their Jerry Harmon medley 62 00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:53,131 practically reached religious proportions. 63 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:58,970 - I'm sure the only thing missing from the evening was us. 64 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,539 - I'm sorry, Dick. 65 00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,708 Maybe if you had some hidden talent 66 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:06,445 it would've warranted an invitation. 67 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:10,749 - Well, you know, I-I play the--the bongos a little. 68 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,486 - Could you fellows make it over again tonight? 69 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,723 Right now, my dinner party sounds like death. 70 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,224 - Okay. - Thanks. 71 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:23,495 - Okay, Joanna, chicken Kiev for eight. 72 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:24,929 - Better make that for nine. 73 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,832 Sometimes Darryl likes to bring his imaginary friend Lionel 74 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,001 to these affairs. 75 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,903 - Oh, wonderful. I'm always looking for an excuse 76 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,673 to spend an entire day in a hot kitchen. 77 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,776 - Then this must be your lucky day. 78 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,578 - Say hey, one and all! 79 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,546 Me and mine are off to the mall. 80 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,583 - Can't you--you just say "Hi"? 81 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:45,651 - Not when this slap-happy pappy 82 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,952 is charged for charging. 83 00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:50,255 The spring infantware line is in 84 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:51,456 and I want to scoop up a sack full of those 85 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,426 baby Yves St Laurent stretchies. 86 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:56,395 - Michael, don't you think you're overindulging 87 00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,997 baby Stephanie just a tiny bit? 88 00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:02,100 [MICHAEL AND STEPHANIE LAUGH] 89 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,569 - Thanks for the morning chuckle, Jo-Jo. 90 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,673 - Ha ha ha. 91 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,309 - Oh, by the way, Michael. 92 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,843 We're having another party tonight. 93 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:15,580 Dick and Joanna invited themselves over. 94 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,683 - Dull as Arenaville. 95 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,285 Then again, they did give us our casa for nada. 96 00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:21,553 - 7-ish? 97 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,856 - The mall doesn't close till 10-ish. How about 11-ish? 98 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,726 - 11-ish? Pretty late-ish. 99 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,528 - Oh, what the heck. I mean, d-doesn't everyone 100 00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:32,130 eat dinner watching Carson? 101 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,167 Ish? 102 00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,777 - It's nearly midnight, c-can't we eat? 103 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,947 - And insult our host and hostess? 104 00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:50,415 - Our host hasn't even showed up yet 105 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:56,020 and our hostess is upstairs soaking i-in a damn bubble bath. 106 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,189 - Okay, who wants another hit? 107 00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:00,325 - Fill it to the top, Pop. 108 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:05,196 - How I do savor the '66 Chateau la Tour. 109 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:08,734 A bit pricey but, ooh, that nutty bouquet. 110 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,341 - Oh, down so soon, Stephanie? 111 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,309 You've only been soaking for an hour. 112 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:21,312 - Well, I knew I had guests waiting. 113 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,548 Joanna, I know you don't get out much, 114 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,618 but is this how we dress for a dinner party? 115 00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:30,121 - See, Joanna, I told you, you should have worn 116 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:32,391 a towel on your head. 117 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,595 - Apparently that Jack-in-the-box 118 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:40,231 has tickled my siblings' collective fancies. 119 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:45,270 [PLAYING MUSICAL JACK-IN-THE-BOX] 120 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:55,847 An element of suspense 121 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,817 followed by an element of surprise. 122 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,886 The same device exploited by Hitchcock 123 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:04,856 in his overly spoofed 1960 thriller, Psycho. 124 00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:09,093 - Sorry I'm so tardy. 125 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,797 Mr. Marky's Baby Boutique had a midnight madness sale. 126 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,033 - Oh, Michael, you look exhausted. 127 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:18,603 Why don't we do this party thing another time? 128 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,271 - But, Cuppers, all your work. 129 00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:22,407 - Oh, don't think about that. 130 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,976 We can do it all again tomorrow night, right Joanna? 131 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,078 - You want us to leave? 132 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,514 - Well, yes, it's after midnight. 133 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,083 Some of us have work in the morning. 134 00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:35,620 Oh, baby is so pretty. 135 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:36,988 Yes, you are. 136 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,123 Oh yes, you are. 137 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,828 - Well, glad I had that late lunch at 9.30. 138 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:47,532 - We'll grab a burger at Jack-in-the-Box. 139 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,937 - Tomorrow night, what about seafood? 140 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,738 - Why the hell not? 141 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:57,308 - Be careful, Dick, you're about to trip over 142 00:07:57,478 --> 00:08:00,545 baby's first cappuccino maker. 143 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:06,317 - You know, Michael, if you keep buying the baby all this stuff, 144 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:09,688 sh-she'll grow up to be a spoiled monster like, um... 145 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:15,594 you know, uh, some character on a--on a TV show. 146 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,231 - But I happen to like characters on TV shows. 147 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,668 Except for that Mrs. Roper on Three's Company . 148 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:24,769 I still can't look at a muumuu 149 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,438 without thinking of that horny woman. 150 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:35,313 - Well, since you completely miss my point, I'll be leaving. 151 00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,083 [YAWNS] 152 00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,921 - What does Dr. Dick know? 153 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,025 Nothing wrong with spoiling your kid. 154 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,527 Is there? 155 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,734 - Baby is so pretty. 156 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,903 Yes, I am. 157 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,672 Oh yes, I am. 158 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,180 - Hi baby Steph. Daddy's home. 159 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:14,519 - Yay! You look so pale. 160 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:17,756 Have you been selling your blood again? 161 00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,928 - My last pint. 162 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,063 - Oh, goody! Where's my present? 163 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,464 - Here you go, princess! 164 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,233 [SQUEALS] 165 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:33,605 - A cashmere sweater? And it's so expensive. 166 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,406 It's a good thing you're working five jobs 167 00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,944 and Mommy's cleaning toilets at the all-new 2000-room 168 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:42,280 George Utley Stratford Inn and Casino. 169 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:46,217 - Well, that still didn't cover the cost. 170 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,788 I had to sell my spleen to buy you that one. 171 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:53,592 - That's okay, Daddy. Everybody has two spleens. 172 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:58,162 - No, everybody has two kidneys. Except me. 173 00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,701 [COUGHS] 174 00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:05,536 - Oh, that's right. You sold one of yours 175 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:09,173 to buy me that beautiful graduation sweater. 176 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,944 - By the by, where is that swell sweater 177 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,314 I sent you from Sweden, sweetie? 178 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,085 - Well, let's see. 179 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,220 It must be around here someplace. 180 00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:25,657 I really should start labeling these. 181 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,826 - Honey, remember how I vowed never to rest 182 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,829 until you owned every cashmere sweater in the world? 183 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:34,132 - Of course, Daddy. You put it in writing. 184 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,300 - Well, this last one makes your collection complete, 185 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,669 and my job is done. 186 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,437 Are you happy, sweetie? 187 00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:40,905 - Oh, Daddy! 188 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:44,142 I'm the happiest girl in the world! 189 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:49,580 Of course, I'd be even happier if I had... 190 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,450 every shoe in the world. 191 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,787 - Oh no! 192 00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:58,857 - Aren't I Daddy's little girl? 193 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:05,096 - Yes, honey, but Daddy's all out of blood. 194 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,399 - Then make some more. 195 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,735 - I'm not sure I can without a spleen. 196 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,904 [SOBS] 197 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:19,377 - I want pumps, slingbacks, penny loafers, sandals... 198 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:20,378 - No. - boots... 199 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,980 - No. - slippers, wedges... 200 00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:24,783 - No. - space boots, espadrilles... 201 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,084 - No! - walking shoes... 202 00:11:26,252 --> 00:11:27,218 - No! - jogging shoes... 203 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,252 - No! - running shoes... 204 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,253 - No! - high tops... 205 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,089 - No! - low tops...medium tops... 206 00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:32,157 - No! - hush puppies! 207 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,992 - No. No! 208 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:35,894 No! No! 209 00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,595 No! 210 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:42,000 Daddy's little girl. 211 00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,502 Daddy's little ghoul. 212 00:11:56,983 --> 00:12:02,220 - "Local officials report sharp decline in mouse population." 213 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:10,762 - On one hand, there are more cats in this town. 214 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:15,666 On the other, there are fewer mice in this town. 215 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:23,141 - There almost... almost seems to be a connection. 216 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:28,980 - Hi. 217 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:33,584 - Just--just hi? - Oh, Dick Doc, you were right. 218 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:36,221 Last night I dreamed a little dream of little Steph. 219 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:39,290 She grew up to be a pouty, albeit pretty, prima donna. 220 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,292 She was like Evita, Leona, Imelda. 221 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,194 - Joanna. 222 00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:48,099 Maybe I don't get this list. 223 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,135 - Maybe--maybe not, George. 224 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,903 - Granted, I admire a healthy dose of selfishness 225 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,272 as much as the next egocentric, but 226 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,742 all this clothes horsie did was take, take, take, take, take. 227 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,878 - And, of course, all that you and Stephanie do 228 00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:03,047 is just take, take, take. 229 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,483 - See the difference? - Night and day. 230 00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:09,154 - My opinion might not mean much, 231 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:13,491 seeing I'm a childless old bachelor with bum knees 232 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:16,594 and a trunk full of broken dreams. 233 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:18,830 - Can we zip this along, G. Geezer? 234 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,766 - Right. Maybe you shouldn't spoil baby Steph. 235 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:22,901 - But how else can I buy the affection 236 00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,636 of my post-fetal femme fatale? 237 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,240 - You don't have to buy it. Just spend time with her. 238 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:30,809 Take her--take her to the park. 239 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,310 - Park? 240 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,679 - You know, that-- that thing across the street 241 00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:38,749 with--with grass and--and rocks. 242 00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,985 - Grass? 243 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,687 - Rocks? 244 00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:51,329 - Think of a park as, um...God's mall. 245 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:56,968 - Sort of a green galleria. Go, man, go. 246 00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:02,673 - Well, a-a park has swings to play on and hills to climb. 247 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,542 - Hills. 248 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,980 - Let's see, uh.... 249 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:14,685 They are like, uh, out-of-order escalators. 250 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,457 - Screeching tires, this six-cylinder cerebellum 251 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:21,559 just did a 180! 252 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:22,961 From now on, we'll go barefoot in the park 253 00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:24,162 and find splendor in the grass 254 00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:25,496 and picnic under the yum-yum tree, 255 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,233 but please don't eat the daisies! 256 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,835 - The Poseidon Adventure ! 257 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:38,176 Dick, did I just miss the point of another list? 258 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:41,179 - Yup. 259 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:48,887 - The way I figure it, the rise in the cat population 260 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:49,954 has something to do 261 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:54,558 with the decline of the mouse population. 262 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,727 - My brothers scoff at your theory. 263 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:59,097 They blame the decline in the mouse population 264 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,266 on their wildly successful line 265 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,335 of rodent skin coats and mufflers. 266 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:13,211 - "Elegant mouse, rat, and weasel skins 267 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,646 "for the discriminating buyer 268 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:19,583 "who's tired of wearing... feathers." 269 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:25,189 Well, I know I'm pretty bored with my chicken hat. 270 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,490 - Well, I'm not waiting any longer. 271 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:30,395 I'm going to serve dinner before my crabcakes burn. 272 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:31,762 - Is Michael here yet? 273 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:35,699 - Probably still out looking at trees. 274 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,035 - Trees? 275 00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:40,305 You mean, like they have in those park things? 276 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:42,673 - Actually, Michael took little Steph 277 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,675 to one of those park things, you know, 278 00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:48,079 to show her the--the best things in life are free. 279 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:51,950 - Now, who would put a stupid idea like that in his head? 280 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:59,890 - How--how does Joanna get those mashed potatoes 281 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,393 so--so darned fluffy? 282 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,863 - Home again, home again, 283 00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:07,999 jiggity jog. Sorry I'm late. 284 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,234 I'm late for a very important date. 285 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:14,439 - Michael, you have shredded green stuff on your Guccis. 286 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,774 You have been to one of those park things. 287 00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:20,011 - No more shopping sprees for our little shiksa. 288 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,879 Wilderness. The good earth. 289 00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:23,547 The lilies of the field. 290 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,317 - The Guns of Navarone. 291 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,355 - Michael, what's wrong with you? 292 00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:33,424 Have you forgotten our vow of materialism? 293 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,860 - But, muffin, I had a dream. I've been to the mountain. 294 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:38,363 - This is no time to quote Shakespeare. 295 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,431 Michael, read my perfectly-lined lips: 296 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,100 No more park things. 297 00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:45,536 Who knows what horrible effect it could have on our child. 298 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,838 - My mother used to take me to one of those park things 299 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,307 all the time. 300 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,509 - You see? 301 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:56,147 - Well, a lot you care about my spleen! 302 00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,282 [CRIES] 303 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,053 - All right, let's eat. 304 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,222 [SOBS] 305 00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,591 - Will you look at the time? 306 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,264 - Imagine how much fun one of these dinner parties would be 307 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,733 if we actually ate dinner. 308 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:18,336 - I agree, Darryl. 309 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,539 This is eerily reminiscent of our all-naked production 310 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:25,109 of Edward Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf ? 311 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,514 [MICHAEL SOBS HYSTERICALLY] 312 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:38,022 - Now somebody's going to enjoy this damn meal. 313 00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,624 Hm, those crabcakes look delicious. 314 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,660 - Could my Cuppers be correct? 315 00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:46,164 Is it wrong to nurture my nibblet with nature? 316 00:17:46,332 --> 00:17:50,701 - More wine? Oh, thank you, yes, I'd love some. 317 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,770 Well, maybe just half a glass. 318 00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:54,872 I don't want to get tipsy and start talking to myself. 319 00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:57,542 Do I? No. 320 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:09,820 - Hi, baby Steph, I'm...home? 321 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,224 What have you done to our carriage house? 322 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:16,227 - Why, Papa, I've turned it into a soup kitchen 323 00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:19,130 for the unfortunates of this world. 324 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:20,998 - Oh, baby Steph, you're getting worse. 325 00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:25,836 First it was the Peace Corps and VISTA and Greenpeace. 326 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,940 - Ah, yes. Remember the harpoon I took 327 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:33,544 in my thigh from that Japanese whaling ship? 328 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,615 - You're a gift from God, blondie. 329 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:40,884 - No, you are, sir. 330 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,786 - Why are you doing this to yourself? 331 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:47,191 - Oh, Papa, I just want to make the world a better place. 332 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:51,129 - Then put on a designer dress and some eyeliner, please. 333 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,499 - But, Papa, those are material possessions. 334 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,701 I know the best things in life are free. 335 00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,437 - Who taught you that claptrap? 336 00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,439 - Why, you did, when I was two months old 337 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:04,675 and you took me to that park thing. 338 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,112 - Damn that Dick. I lied. 339 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:11,516 Look, the best things in life cost lots and lots of money. 340 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,683 Did you get the dozen cashmere sweaters 341 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,285 I sent you from Scotland? 342 00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:15,286 - Ah, yes. 343 00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:17,655 And I hope they're from naturally shedded goats. 344 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:21,325 Not ones that were sheared against their will. 345 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,660 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. 346 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,796 Here, look. Here's two more. 347 00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:28,666 - Oh, they're lovely. 348 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,137 - Wait, you're... no, you... 349 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,041 - Oh, very uptown. 350 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:43,881 - But not so dressy you can't wear it downtown. 351 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,115 - Baby Steph, I order you to stop 352 00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:47,318 giving away your pretty things. 353 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,987 - Who needs expensive clothing? 354 00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,322 - You do! 355 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:54,692 - Oh, Papa, virtue is its own reward. 356 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,461 - Bite your tongue, young lady! If you insist on disobeying, 357 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,963 I'm just going to have to buy you more sweaters. 358 00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,465 - I'll just give them away. 359 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:02,800 - Then I'll buy you shoes. 360 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,735 - I'll just give them away. - Then I'll buy you hats. 361 00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,637 - I'll just give them away. - Then I'll buy you dresses! 362 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:09,207 - I'll just give them away! - Then I'll buy you furs! 363 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,375 - Ew! 364 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,612 - I meant fake furs. 365 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,847 - I'll just give them away. 366 00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:20,017 Oh, Papa, can't you get this through your head? 367 00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:24,021 I don't need possessions to make me happy. 368 00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:25,723 Soup's on, boys! 369 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,759 [STEPHANIE TAPS THE LADLE] 370 00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,095 - Your sweaters! 371 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,098 Your sweaters! 372 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:36,500 These are petite! These men are all medium. 373 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,703 You're a large! 374 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,438 No! No! 375 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:43,974 These pastels are wrong for your skin tones. 376 00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:45,276 Please, no! 377 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:48,446 [SCREAMING] Nooooo! 378 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,286 - What's in the evening paper, George? 379 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:56,954 - Oh, the usual. 380 00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,791 War. Politics. Cats. 381 00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:06,297 You know, maybe I'll get a cat. 382 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:08,832 According to the paper they're supposed to be, quote, 383 00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,002 "soft and warm and furry." 384 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:14,472 - George, if that's what you want, 385 00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:18,242 I'll give you one of Joanna's sweaters. 386 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:21,379 - Hm, I'll have to think about it. 387 00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:22,813 Let's see. 388 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:26,250 One will look good wrapped around my shoulders, 389 00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,552 the other has a V-neck. 390 00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:33,758 - There you are. - And here I go. 391 00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:35,826 Catch the lights on your way out. 392 00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:38,195 - Halt! Harken to my tale of woe, good knight. 393 00:21:38,364 --> 00:21:39,497 - Goodnight! 394 00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:41,799 - Dick, wait. 395 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:45,336 Last night I had a Nightmare on Baby Steph Street, Part 2. 396 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,072 I denied my bubeleh her booty 397 00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:52,677 and she grew up to be a kind-to-mankind, man. 398 00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:53,678 - Kids of the future. 399 00:21:54,614 --> 00:21:56,347 - Dick, she wasn't wearing makeup and... 400 00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:58,616 she was an idealist. 401 00:21:58,785 --> 00:22:00,851 - Oh, my God, no. 402 00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:02,186 Michael, obviously, 403 00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:04,221 you're going to have to compromise. 404 00:22:04,390 --> 00:22:06,590 You know, don't--don't deprive Stephanie of everything 405 00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:09,927 but at the same time, don't--don't give her too much. 406 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:12,196 - And take the chance she won't be gorgeous, Dickens? 407 00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:13,431 Forget it, Fenster. 408 00:22:13,599 --> 00:22:15,800 I'm spoiling my spawned one silly. 409 00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:17,234 - Exactly what I'd do. 410 00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:18,869 - I just have to convince my spousal spitfire 411 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:21,071 to take me back. 412 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,173 I got it! I'll just plead temporary insanity 413 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,776 on the grounds that I listened to you! 414 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,313 I'll just tell her I was stir-crazy, I was bananas. 415 00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:31,549 That this one flew over the cuckoo's nest. 416 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:33,851 - The Blob ! 417 00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,756 - Go to bed, George. 418 00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:42,025 - Goodnight, Dick. - Goodnight, George. 419 00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:53,203 [♪♪♪] 420 00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:20,063 - Meow. 33678

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