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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,169
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:53,752
[CLATTERING]
3
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,787
STEPHANIE:
Stupid eggs!
4
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,289
- Honey,
would you pass the rolls?
5
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:58,290
- Here you go.
6
00:00:58,459 --> 00:00:59,525
[THUD]
7
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:00,926
STEPHANIE:
Stupid bacon!
8
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,729
- Butter with that?
9
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,533
- No, I think
I'll try marmalade.
10
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,102
I'm in that mood, you know?
11
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,538
[CLATTERING]
12
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,606
STEPHANIE:
Stupid, stupid parsley!
13
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,310
- Excuse me,
I'm not usually one to pry,
14
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,912
but is your maid possessed?
15
00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:24,950
- No, no. That's just--just
her cooking method.
16
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,986
She likes to
intimidate the food.
17
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,757
- Actually there's a reason
behind my squaw's squawks.
18
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:36,361
She's got the baby-
in-the-belly hormone blues.
19
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:37,996
- She's eight months pregnant.
20
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,231
- Oh.
21
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,133
Oh!
22
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,201
- It's nothing to worry about.
23
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:46,771
Just treat her the way we do,
pretend she's a live grenade.
24
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:51,710
- Here's your
stupid bacon and eggs.
25
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,245
- I didn't order bacon and eggs.
26
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,013
I ordered pancakes.
27
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:56,681
- The pin is out of the grenade.
28
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,221
- Well, I didn't make pancakes.
29
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,889
I made bacon and eggs.
30
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,625
- But I don't like bacon.
31
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,994
- You will the way I made it.
32
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,163
I tenderized it.
33
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:14,299
I threw it against the wall.
34
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,968
- Stephanie, go make
Mr. Jenkins his pancakes.
35
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:19,505
- Why?
Because he asked for them?
36
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,940
Maybe now on, I should just go
from table to table
37
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:23,875
asking everybody what they want.
38
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,045
- I'll just go to a restaurant,
39
00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:28,980
and good luck
on the birth of your child.
40
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:30,182
- Oh, drop dead.
41
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,554
Oh, I'm so sorry.
42
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,523
How could I have said that?
43
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:40,325
- No, it's okay.
I understand.
44
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,795
- Don't you even think
of touching me.
45
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,665
- I thought New Englanders were
supposed to be nice and normal.
46
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,601
- Well, that'll teach you
not to stereotype people.
47
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:53,205
- Stephanie, you were very rude
to our guest.
48
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:54,739
- Get off my back, woman.
49
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,178
And knock off this "guest" sham.
50
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:02,013
You charge people to stay here.
51
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:04,583
- Give birth already!
52
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:05,850
Mr. Jenkins!
53
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,987
- Michael,
why didn't you stick up for me?
54
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,689
- I was just trying to
remain neutral, you know,
55
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,891
like Switzerland and....
[CLEARS THROAT]
56
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,527
Quick, Dick, what other country
is neutral?
57
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,963
[HUMMING]
58
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,465
- Michael,
I order you to take sides.
59
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,000
- You were totally in the right.
60
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:24,135
- Don't patronize me.
61
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:26,004
- You were totally in the wrong.
62
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:27,439
- Traitor.
63
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,641
- There was no correct answer,
was there?
64
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,477
- L-Leave me alone.
65
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:35,714
- No offense, Michael,
66
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,083
but right now, I can't
stand the sight of you.
67
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:43,855
Oh no, you're not
going to cry, are you?
68
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,925
- I'll cry if I want to,
cry if I want to.
69
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:49,461
You would cry too
if this happened to you.
70
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:58,270
- Why are you staring at me?
- I-I'm not. I'm not.
71
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,739
- Well, your eggs are.
- Sorry. Sorry.
72
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,345
Here's--here's a wacky idea.
73
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:09,748
Why don't--why don't you take my
car a-and go shopping,
74
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:14,753
you know, get some fresh air
a-and maybe y-your sanity back?
75
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,622
- You trying to get rid of me,
buddy?
76
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,223
- I'd--I'd rather not
answer that.
77
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:21,727
It sounds like--like
one of y-your trick questions.
78
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:27,733
- Okay,
maybe I will go shopping.
79
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,334
- [IN LOW VOICE] Yay.
80
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,739
- I'll drive over
to Johnnycake Mall.
81
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,575
I just hope no stupid, stupid
pedestrians get in my way.
82
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,878
- Wait, why don't--why don't I-I
drive you over there?
83
00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:42,814
You know, it'll give us
a chance to talk some more.
84
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,549
- Oh, that'll be a thrill.
85
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,430
[MICHAEL COUGHING]
86
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,702
[SOBBING]
87
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,442
- Oh hi, Michael.
88
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:14,746
- Hi, George.
89
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,114
- Is something wrong?
90
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:19,984
- No. No, just playing a quick
game of hide and whimper.
91
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:25,190
- Oh! Well, I hope you win.
92
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,127
- Hey there, Georgie boy.
Wait.
93
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,832
There is something wrong.
94
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,734
- I thought so.
95
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,338
- My sweet and sour Steph
yelled at me
96
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:42,207
and wounded me
with her wicked words.
97
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,209
- She did seem angry.
98
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:49,848
She just drove by with Dick
and threw a soda can at my head.
99
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:54,586
I'll have some story to tell
at the recycling center.
100
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:55,887
- She told this punching bag boy
101
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:58,256
she couldn't stand
the sight of him.
102
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,359
- Well, if it's any consolation,
Michael,
103
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,395
I can't get enough of you.
104
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,665
- Thank you, George. That's
the nicest lie you ever told.
105
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,467
- It was nothing.
106
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,736
You know, you should look
on the bright side.
107
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,437
- You mean, I don't have
a Diet Dr. Pepper dent
108
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:13,805
in my head like you do?
109
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:17,843
- No, no, that at least
you have someone to yell at you.
110
00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,310
Who do I have?
111
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,545
- Nobody.
112
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,348
- That's right, and you have
a kid on the way,
113
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,751
who will probably
yell at you too.
114
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:28,987
Who do I have?
115
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:32,858
- Nobody again.
Just you, yourself, and ye.
116
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:35,360
- If it weren't for people
throwing things at my head,
117
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,996
I wouldn't even know I exist.
118
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,833
- Wow, you speak wise words,
Kemo-Georgie.
119
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,370
No matter how bad things
seem for moi,
120
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,006
I mean, your lot is a lot worse.
You must be miserable.
121
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,942
Thanks for the pep, pal.
122
00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:01,119
[GROANING]
123
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,560
- I'm so glad
you decided to stay.
124
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:09,795
You'll see,
other than Stephanie,
125
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:13,565
the rest of us New Englanders
are nice and normal.
126
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,400
[GEORGE GROANING]
127
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,371
GEORGE: Oh. Oh, hi, Joanna.
128
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,974
Hi, Mr. Jenkins.
129
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,844
- George, what are you
doing down there?
130
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:29,113
- I'm playing a quick game
of hide and whimper,
131
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,316
'cause nobody wants
to yell at me.
132
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,485
- I'll be checking out now.
133
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:34,619
- Mr. Jenkins!
134
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,988
[LONG GROANS]
135
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:40,625
Can't you play hide and whimper
in your own damn room?
136
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,461
Mr. Jenkins!
137
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:47,666
- She yelled at me!
138
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:00,512
- Honestly, Dick.
139
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,418
You are the slowest driver
I have ever seen.
140
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,487
- Well, you know, I mean,
141
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,021
how much time
would we have saved
142
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,424
even if I had
run over those ducks?
143
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,861
- Well, I guess
we'll never know, will we?
144
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:22,300
Oh, my god,
that's a Gianna Bruzzese.
145
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:26,070
The new spring line came out
and I didn't even know it.
146
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,607
- I can't believe
it got by the both of us.
147
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:31,843
- Excuse me, miss.
148
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,145
I'd like to try on
that Gianna Bruzzese.
149
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:38,149
[LAUGHS]
150
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:44,055
- Maybe--maybe you--maybe you
pronounced it wrong.
151
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:49,961
- I'm sorry, I thought
you were making a joke.
152
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,764
- Trying on a dress
is not a joke.
153
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,533
Later on,
I'll tell you a real joke
154
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,968
and you can compare the two
and learn the difference.
155
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,240
Now, get me my dress,
156
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:05,410
you four-eyed shop girl,
before I make a stink.
157
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,013
- Fine.
158
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,352
- You know, Stephanie, you were
just the teeniest bit rude
159
00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:18,356
to that--to that shop girl.
160
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,592
- I was?
161
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,962
I didn't say please
to that witch, did I?
162
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:29,768
- That was it, and you were also
a little hard on Michael before.
163
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,402
You know,
especially when you said
164
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:35,406
you couldn't stand
the sight of him.
165
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,577
- Oh gee, I hope he didn't
take that the wrong way.
166
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,014
I mean, I love Michael.
167
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:47,652
He's my husband and the father
of my baby-to-be.
168
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,821
Oh, I'm going to look gorgeous
in that.
169
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,389
Let me try it on.
Let me try it on.
170
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:54,859
- Maybe in a few months when
you're a little less pregnant.
171
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,896
- Are you saying you refuse
to serve a pregnant woman
172
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,198
because if you are,
that's probably illegal
173
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,233
and I'll have to sue
that cheap polyester frock
174
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:03,735
right off your back.
175
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,006
- O-Okay, I'm--I'm ready to go.
176
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:13,177
Maybe if w-we hurry, we'll get
a-another crack at those ducks,
177
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:16,414
especially--especially the one
that you claimed was,
178
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,984
you know, w-was staring at you.
179
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,152
- Dick, this woman
is interfering
180
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,955
with my God-given right
to try on clothes.
181
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:24,956
- I'm sorry, miss,
182
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,093
but you're just too enormous
for this dress.
183
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:29,094
- Careful, miss.
184
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:33,231
She has a-a loaded can of
Dr. Pepper in her purse.
185
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:39,070
- If you think that dress is
too small for my enormous body,
186
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,006
just let the damn thing out.
187
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,241
- I can't.
There's not enough material.
188
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:44,809
- Then take some from her.
189
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,781
But I am not leaving this store
until I try that dress on.
190
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,382
- Is that so?
191
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,721
- O-Okay.
Okay, everyone.
192
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,057
Show is over.
Please disperse.
193
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,028
Th-Thank you.
194
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:06,998
- Take that dress off.
We need the material.
195
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,499
- Forget it, it's mine.
196
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,334
- Dick, rip her dress off.
197
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:16,841
- Okay folks, show's over.
Please disperse.
198
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,913
- Sure, you listen
to a guy in uniform.
199
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,015
- Help me rip her dress off.
200
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,317
You might want to
club her first.
201
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,821
- Would you please ask
this person to leave?
202
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,522
She's frightening
the other shoppers.
203
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,224
- I am not frightening anyone.
204
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,661
Am I?
- No. No, I'm not scared at all.
205
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:40,665
- Tell you what, if you leave,
I'll buy you a cherry Slurpee.
206
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:44,502
How about grape?
207
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,172
You just hit me!
208
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,440
No Slurpee for you.
Come on.
209
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,176
- Get your hands off me.
210
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,745
Would you please
hold that dress for me?
211
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:58,850
- She must be insane
to do something like that.
212
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,186
- Am I glad she's gone.
213
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:05,623
I was scared for my life.
214
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,092
STEPHANIE:
Dick, are you coming or not?
215
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:10,128
- She doesn't mean me.
My n--my name is Phil.
216
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:11,830
STEPHANIE: Dick!
- Coming. Coming.
217
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,639
- Mr. Jenkins!
218
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:25,844
Mr. Jenkins!
219
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,680
Mr. Jenkins!
220
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,055
Mr. Jenkins!
221
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,329
Michael, have you seen
Mr. Jenkins?
222
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,031
I'm trying to talk him
into staying.
223
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,500
- No, no, JoJo, I haven't.
224
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,269
Have you seen
my hormonal other?
225
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,971
- No.
226
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,505
Come to think of it,
have you seen Dick?
227
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,441
- I haven't even laid a partial
peeper on your man Dick-free.
228
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,452
- Hi, I'm Larry.
This is my brother, Darryl,
229
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,688
and this is my other brother,
Darryl.
230
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:12,857
- Have you guys seen
a Mr. Jenkins?
231
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,392
- No.
- Have you seen a Stephy?
232
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,427
- No.
- Have you seen Dick?
233
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:17,996
- No.
234
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,264
We're in luck, Darryl.
235
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,933
The rapid-fire questions
and general confusion
236
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:25,270
leads me to believe we've
stumbled upon a French farce.
237
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,173
Please continue.
238
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,307
- Have you checked the pantry?
239
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:30,775
- Zut alors , I haven't.
240
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,914
- See, in classic French farce,
people often hide in pantries,
241
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:37,015
unless they're dead,
242
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,716
in which case
they sit in chairs
243
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,920
while others hold one-sided
conversations with them.
244
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:48,126
The harried innkeeper
has arrived.
245
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,161
Let's see if
we can follow the action.
246
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,931
- Stephanie's in jail.
We have to bail her out.
247
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,432
- My cupcake's in a cage!
Why?
248
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,301
- I'll tell you on the way.
249
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,402
- Harried innkeeper
beats a hasty retreat,
250
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:02,207
followed closely by
the perplexed male ingénue.
251
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,241
- Did I just hear Dick?
252
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:04,775
- You missed him
by a split second.
253
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,845
Timing is everything
in a farce,
254
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,280
hence the failure
of Marblehead Manor.
255
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,284
- Do you know where he went?
256
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:14,485
- Yes, with Michael.
257
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:15,486
- Do you know
where Michael went?
258
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:16,787
- Yes, with Dick.
259
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,859
A good farce must have comedy.
260
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:24,295
Moliere said it best
when he said go for the yuks.
261
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:26,797
- Dick!
262
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:27,966
Michael!
263
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:29,834
Mr. Jenkins!
264
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,538
- It appears to be intermission.
265
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,347
It appears intermission is over.
266
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,849
Mr. Jenkins, we presume?
- Yes.
267
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,888
- Miss Joanna's looking for you.
She's right outside.
268
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,091
- Oh no, I guess I'll have to
sneak out at night.
269
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,526
- Hear that, Darryl?
270
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:56,861
Two shows a day.
271
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,731
Let us ourselves beat
a hasty retreat
272
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:03,634
and get gussied up
for this evening performance.
273
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:08,072
It's not often you find
good French farce in Vermont.
274
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,108
- Or a good egg cream.
275
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:27,959
- [SINGING OFF TUNE] ♪ Why do Birds suddenly appear ♪
276
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:33,131
♪ Every time you're near? ♪
277
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:41,205
♪ Just like me They like to be close to you ♪
278
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,107
- Knock off the singing.
279
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,076
We prisoners have rights too,
you know.
280
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,145
- Listen, I can make things
easy on you
281
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,180
or I can make them hard.
282
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:52,383
- Makes things easy,
get a new face.
283
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:59,290
- This was such a peaceful burg
before this baby boom hit.
284
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,159
- I like your style.
285
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,127
What are you in for?
286
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:07,398
- I slapped a security guard
just to watch him go, "Ow."
287
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:09,667
How about you?
288
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,502
- Slapped my mailman.
289
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,305
TV Guide was late,
290
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,508
and it had Cosby
on the cover again.
291
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:22,347
- I slapped my priest
after he told me
292
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:26,550
this water retention
too shall pass.
293
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,252
- Yeah,
this must be the cellblock
294
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,955
where they put the slappers.
295
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,491
Well, if people cross us,
they're going to pay.
296
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,693
- That's right.
- Right on.
297
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:40,764
- Oh my God,
I slapped Father Ponstil.
298
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,666
Oh, how could I have done that?
299
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,037
He baptized me,
for goodness sakes.
300
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:49,673
- And I slapped that nice
mailman, Mr. Dinsmore.
301
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:54,512
It's not his fault
Bill Cosby is so ubiquitous.
302
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:59,583
- That poor security guard
was just doing his job.
303
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,153
I really should pay
for that tooth I cracked.
304
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:05,323
[ALL SOBBING]
305
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:10,261
- Hey, I warned you before,
knock off the mood swings.
306
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:16,267
- Poor Michael,
the things I said to him.
307
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:20,104
- Oh, I called my husband
a walking phlegm ball.
308
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:24,342
- I told mine
that the baby isn't his.
309
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,812
It might be his.
310
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:36,620
- Dr. Grossman warned me
I might have mood swings.
311
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,523
Of course, he was standing
out of striking range
312
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,224
when he said it.
313
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,060
- You use Dr. Grossman?
314
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,062
I do too.
- Me too.
315
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,563
- No.
- Yes!
316
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,998
[ALL SCREAMING]
317
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,234
- I love that man so much.
318
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,436
- He's so gentle.
319
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:52,736
- And sweet.
320
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,106
Other than my husband
and my mailman,
321
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:58,876
Dr. Grossman's the only man
I like getting undressed for.
322
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:04,682
- All right, ladies,
let's can the smut.
323
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,753
You here to visit the riffraff?
324
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,522
- Actually just the one riff.
325
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,593
- Does--does there seem to be
a theme here?
326
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:21,332
- Michael, you came for me,
327
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,934
and after all of
the horrible things I said.
328
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,137
You are the most wonderful man
in the world.
329
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:27,805
- No, my man is.
330
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,807
- No, my men are.
331
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:34,812
- Oh Michael, being away
from you and in the lockup
332
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,314
has been torture.
333
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:37,315
- But Muffin,
this morning you said
334
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,150
you couldn't stand
the sight of me.
335
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,784
- Well, that wasn't me talking.
336
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,955
That was my raging hormones and
they don't love you like I do.
337
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,424
- Aw, Steph!
338
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:47,891
- Oh, Michael.
339
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,495
- Aw.
340
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,098
- Okay, get away from me.
341
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,500
Go see what's keeping Dick.
342
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:56,501
If I stay here any longer,
343
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,137
I might wind up hard and bitter
like these two.
344
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:04,442
No offense, but you two
have an edge that's not pretty.
345
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,443
- Come on, Dick.
Shake a shin.
346
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:07,578
My caged cutie wants
out of cellblock mommy.
347
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:08,812
- I'm trying.
348
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,982
I've never seen so many
damn questions on a form.
349
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:15,286
Do you really have to know
what type of music I like?
350
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:20,591
- We want our records
to be complete.
351
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,794
Just as I thought, show tunes.
352
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,599
- Here, do I have to go
through a-a strip search now?
353
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,268
- Watch it, Loudon.
354
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,803
I could book you
for sarcasm one.
355
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,773
All right, blondie,
356
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,077
flap your wings.
357
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:41,412
Fly to freedom.
358
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,147
- Bye, Norma.
- Bye, honey.
359
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,816
- Bye, Debbie.
- We'll miss you, banjo.
360
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:49,187
- Well, I'll see you
as soon as the system
361
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,589
spits you back out
on the streets.
362
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:54,258
- I wouldn't rent
a reunion hall just yet.
363
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,126
- Problemo with
the Sing-Sing sisters?
364
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,262
- Their hubbies are over
at Johnnycake Bar and Grill
365
00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,897
watching the Patriots game.
366
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,366
Won't be over 'til said game is.
367
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,034
- The Patriots game is on?
368
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:05,469
Damn.
369
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:10,774
H-How come my mailman always
d-delivers my TV Guide late?
370
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,644
- Some mailmen
need a good slapping.
371
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:18,082
- Well, I'm not leaving until
my sisters are sprung too.
372
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,283
- Welcome back, honey.
373
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,018
- We missed you, banjo.
374
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:23,421
- Cuppers, what are you doing?
375
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,189
You just met
these big bad mamas.
376
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,558
- Michael,
when you do time with people,
377
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,927
you become very close
very quickly.
378
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,829
- But Steph, seeing you
withering away in that slammer
379
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,131
is more than
this papa bear can bear.
380
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,235
Bail them all out, Dick.
381
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,303
- I'm not going to
bail out total strangers.
382
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:40,838
- Oh, it's always
you straight arrows
383
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:42,940
that won't give us cons a break.
384
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,309
Michael, make Dick write
another check.
385
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:46,310
- Dick, write another check.
386
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,112
- No!
- Do something, Michael.
387
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:51,014
I'm starting to hate
the sight of you again.
388
00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:53,284
- Jeepers,
you do turn on a dime.
389
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:54,719
What do you say we jitter over
to the Johnnycake
390
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,820
and hustle back their hubbies?
391
00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:57,955
- Good idea.
392
00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:01,058
Banjo is starting
to frighten me.
393
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:03,861
We'll be back [WHISPERS]
as soon as the game is over.
394
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:05,463
- I heard that, Dick,
395
00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:08,599
and I want your scrawny bodies
back here immediately.
396
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,033
- Let's hope it goes
into triple overtime.
397
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:11,669
- I heard that too.
398
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:16,106
- You men are all alike.
- You're all scum.
399
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:19,343
- You try hauling around
20 extra pounds of baby.
400
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:22,513
- [MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
- [ALL SHOUTING TOGETHER]
401
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:35,826
MICHAEL:
Here you go.
402
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:38,629
- Thanks, Michael.
403
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:39,930
MICHAEL:
You're welcome, Dickers.
404
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:42,767
- What--what are you doing
down there?
405
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:45,169
MICHAEL: My ex-con cutie
is still gunning for me.
406
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:49,006
- How about you, Mr. Jenkins?
407
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:53,143
MR. JENKINS:
I'm hiding from your wife.
408
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:54,845
- Ah!
409
00:21:56,949 --> 00:22:01,752
♪ Just like me
They long to be ♪
410
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,821
BOTH:
♪ Close to you ♪
411
00:22:06,592 --> 00:22:10,928
- ♪ Just like me
They long to be ♪
412
00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:13,698
ALL TOGETHER:
♪ Close to you ♪
413
00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:21,138
♪ La la la la ♪
414
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:25,810
♪ Close to you ♪
415
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:31,081
♪ La la la la ♪
416
00:22:31,250 --> 00:22:34,652
♪ Close to you ♪
417
00:22:36,589 --> 00:22:39,590
[APPLAUSE]
418
00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:45,095
[♪♪♪]
419
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:11,722
- Meow!
31528
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