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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,169 [♪♪♪] 2 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,186 - The dinner was to your satisfaction, no? 3 00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,423 - To be honest, I didn't care for it. 4 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:02,161 Ev-every- everything was delicious. 5 00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,096 - He did eat all his frog legs. 6 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:07,832 - You know, I especially liked the--the crunchy parts. 7 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,802 - You ate the knees? 8 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:13,738 This must be your first visit to Maison Hubert. 9 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,474 Is this a special occasion? 10 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,642 - It's our, uh, 19th anniversary. 11 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:20,446 - Nineteenth? It cannot be. 12 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:24,383 Why, you must have snatched him right from the cradle. 13 00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:26,218 Excusez-moi. 14 00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:27,986 - Happy anniversary, honey. 15 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:31,890 - Oh. 16 00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,393 That--that is some ornate, uh... 17 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,597 o-object there. 18 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,399 - I designed it myself. 19 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,067 Go ahead, try it on. 20 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,772 - Which, uh, which ear does it go on? 21 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,475 - It's a tie clip. 22 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,243 - Oh! Oh, right. Right. 23 00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:54,346 Oh, yeah. 24 00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:57,182 That's--that's better. 25 00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,918 You know, it fits and... it fits and everything. 26 00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:04,889 - Happy anniversary. - Oh, thank you, honey. 27 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,993 I'm so glad it's not another flat box. 28 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:12,364 The last thing I need is another yellow scarf. 29 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,301 - They were out of flat boxes. 30 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,271 - Dick, we've been married 19 years 31 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,906 and you've given me 19 yellow scarves. 32 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:22,907 - Twenty. 33 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,611 I gave you one on the night you proposed. 34 00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,617 Now, scarf-giving i-is an old Loudon tradition. 35 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:35,887 Started... oh, about 20 years ago. 36 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,192 - Just about the same time you started smoking 37 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:44,029 those smelly cigars after every anniversary dinner. 38 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:49,635 - You know, this is also Hubert's anniversary. 39 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,936 - There's a Mrs. Hubert? 40 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,539 - In a sense. 41 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:58,009 Do you know what is the dream of every little French boy? 42 00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:01,146 - To dance the can-can with Jerry Lewis. 43 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,784 - That goes without saying. 44 00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:10,522 It is also the dream to own a chichi gourmet restaurant 45 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:13,492 in a small village in Vermont. 46 00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:16,061 She has been so good to me these 10 years. 47 00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:19,164 So giving, so very like a woman. 48 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:23,702 - Well, Hubert, congratulations to you and her. 49 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,970 [DISHES CLATTER] 50 00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:29,341 - Every year, the busboys make a petit surprise for Hubert. 51 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:33,078 And every year, I act surprised. 52 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:34,246 How's this? 53 00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,183 - I wouldn't change a thing. 54 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,721 - KITCHEN STAFF: Surprise! 55 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,556 - HUBERT: Oh! Pour moi? 56 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:46,958 - Where are you going? 57 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:49,094 - [WITH FRENCH ACCENT] To the bathroom. 58 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:52,964 Another old Loudon tradition. 59 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,240 - Did Stephanie's flight get off on time? 60 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,342 - Well, there was an hour delay. 61 00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:04,376 - Engine trouble? 62 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:05,677 - No, it took the ground crew that long 63 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,380 to pry me off the landing gear. 64 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:11,082 Oh, why did she leave me? 65 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:14,052 - Michael, she just went to Newport to see her folks. 66 00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,954 She'll be back in a few days. 67 00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:17,556 - How can you be so sure? 68 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:22,060 - She only took a dozen suitcases. 69 00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:23,128 - You're right. 70 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,063 And nary a steamer trunk among them. 71 00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:27,699 Hallelujah. My honey's a-coming home. 72 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,068 - How horrible! 73 00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:32,337 - Okay, so my Jolson's a little rusty. 74 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,339 - I'm not talking about you, Michael. 75 00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,642 Maison Hubert burned down last night. 76 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:37,643 - What? 77 00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:39,444 - They think it was a grease fire in the kitchen. 78 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,479 - Any-anyone hurt? 79 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:41,813 - I'm devastated. 80 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,749 It's a gustatory tragedy. 81 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,425 - I'm Larry. This is my brother Darryl. 82 00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,360 And this is my other brother Darryl. 83 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,532 - What's--what's with the limp salute? 84 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,268 - Is Darryl mourning the demise of Maison Hubert? 85 00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:04,436 - Oui. 86 00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:08,907 But he also has a far more personal problem. 87 00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:11,576 - And that is? - He wants fat lips. 88 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,382 - Get--get in line. 89 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,719 - After years of watching the ladies 90 00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:23,355 at the Department of Motor Vehicles 91 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,825 flock to the full and voluptuous lips of Darryl, 92 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,230 Darryl here has begun to question the effectiveness 93 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,366 of his own puny pair. 94 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,501 - They look fine to me. 95 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,671 - Would you like them firmly pressed against your own? 96 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,040 - No. 97 00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,376 - Then you can see Darryl's predicament. 98 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,144 - Well, as being a possessor of prodigious puckers, 99 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,213 let me offer you a little lip service. 100 00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,883 Collagen injections. 101 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,553 The New Age cure for the kissing impaired. 102 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,490 - Was good enough for our Cannes Film Festival 103 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,426 award winner Barbara Hershey. 104 00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,328 It's your call, Your Liplessness. 105 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,867 Then let the injections begin. 106 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,270 - See you boys in Cannes. 107 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,752 - Rough night to be a volunteer fireman, huh, George? 108 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,822 - They're not paying me enough for this kind of hell. 109 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,024 Thanks for the scarf, Joanna. 110 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,730 I've been sweating like a pig. 111 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:39,731 - Understandably. 112 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,333 I mean, you've been battling a towering inferno, 113 00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,302 wielding your mighty axe. 114 00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,004 - Oh, I didn't do any wielding. 115 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:49,274 I just took donuts to the other firemen. 116 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:50,909 - That's putting it on the line. 117 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,244 - It is when the lead hoseman wants honeybuns 118 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:56,147 every 15 minutes. 119 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,884 - The paper said it was a grease fire in the kitchen. 120 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,953 - No, although that would've worked too. 121 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,890 Turns out some careless smoker tossed a lit cigar 122 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:08,427 into the trash bin in the men's room. 123 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:12,030 The chief is fairly sure the culprit is a man. 124 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,402 - Dick. 125 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:19,871 You went to the men's room, 126 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,942 you smoked that cigar, and you burned down Maison Hubert! 127 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,045 - Joanna, you--you can't go around a-accusing people 128 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:28,480 with--with nothing more than... 129 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,883 uh... than overwhelming evidence. 130 00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,787 - Land-o-goshen, you turned our four-star bistro 131 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:39,123 into a four-alarm flambé? 132 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,559 - Well, Dick, you have to tell Hubert 133 00:07:40,727 --> 00:07:42,561 that you destroyed his life. 134 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,596 - I-I'd rather--rather not. 135 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,605 - One moment I have everything. 136 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:56,975 The next, poof, all gone. 137 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,543 Except this espresso maker 138 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:02,914 I rescued as I knocked the busboys out of my way. 139 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,850 - Did I-- did I tell you how much-- 140 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,719 how much I enjoyed our dinner last night? 141 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,220 - The firemen, they were so brave. 142 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,222 They almost saved the kitchen. 143 00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:14,292 But some fool keep pestering them with these pastries. 144 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:22,300 - I'm sure--sure, you know, the insurance covers everything. 145 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:25,136 - Of course, I can rebuild but sequels, 146 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,571 they are never as good. 147 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:30,976 Remember Arthur 2: On the Rocks ? 148 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:34,045 - Yeah, but how about, uh, Police Academy 6 ? 149 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:39,083 I-I thought Bubba Smith gave the performance of his life. 150 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,285 - True, true. But without the dynamic Steve Guttenberg, 151 00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:43,321 the film was just so much fluff. 152 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:46,357 - All right, I'll give you that. 153 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:47,526 On the other hand-- 154 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:48,927 - Dick! 155 00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:53,598 Didn't you have something else to discuss with Hubert? 156 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,768 - Oh, right. And by the way, feel free, 157 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:57,936 you know, to stay here for a couple days 158 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:03,542 until the shock wears off and you're ready to go back home. 159 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,443 - Monsieur Dick... 160 00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:09,380 Maison Hubert means home of Hubert. 161 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,653 - Well, then, feel free to stay here 162 00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:18,122 the rest of your natural life. 163 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,625 - Oh merci, you are too generous to Hubert. 164 00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:24,128 My eyes, they must weep. 165 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:28,132 [CRIES LOUDLY] 166 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,300 - Here. 167 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,138 Keep it. 168 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,741 - Thank God for my friends. 169 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,610 Thank God for America. 170 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:43,915 But most of all, thank God for Dick Loudon. 171 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,287 - I uh... 172 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,424 I-I burnt--burnt down your restaurant. 173 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,834 - Pardon? 174 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:06,738 - I was smoking a cigar in--in the men's room. 175 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:11,643 - You did this to me? [DEEP INHALES] 176 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,812 - Hubert, are you okay? 177 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,413 - But of course. 178 00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,649 In France, you know, we have this saying, 179 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,851 "c'est la vie." "That's life." 180 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,821 - Well, that's what all the people say. 181 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,857 - Riding high in April, burnt down in May. 182 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,593 - Hubert, isn't there anything we can do for you? 183 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:29,995 - Perhaps some café ? 184 00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:35,566 Oh, Rochelle, her espresso is so full-bodied. 185 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,404 Be gentle with her. 186 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,107 And after, she like to have her filter bathed 187 00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:43,742 with warm soapy water. 188 00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:47,779 And her little spigot wiped with a damp washcloth. 189 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,381 - I'll...let you do that. 190 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:57,656 - Hubert, I must say y-you're taking this very well. 191 00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,258 - In France, we have another saying: 192 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,360 "L'homme qui a incendié ma maison 193 00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:05,396 est de dormir avec les fromages." 194 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:10,035 - I don't un-understand French. - I translate. 195 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:13,337 "The man who burn down my house is sleep with the cheeses." 196 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:21,279 - I don't--I don't even understand it in English. 197 00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:23,748 Where is the cheese part? 198 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,383 - I explain. 199 00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:28,053 There is no escape from the cheese. 200 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,388 From the Holland, there is gouda. 201 00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,891 From the Greece, there is feta. 202 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,326 Climb up beanstalk, there is Jack. 203 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:42,333 - I'm, uh, I'm afraid you lost--you lost me in Greece. 204 00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,870 - I will have my revenge, good friend. 205 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,272 You will not know where, you will not know how. 206 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:52,143 But as long as there is a hair on the side of my head, 207 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:56,114 I will get you, Dick Loudon. 208 00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,817 I will get you! 209 00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,858 - Well, what-- what do you mean "get me"? 210 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:10,729 What happened to, uh, "c'est la vie"? 211 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,363 - You think you can burn down Maison Hubert 212 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,799 and not to pay the piper? 213 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,335 - I-I said I'm sorry. - Oh, you're sorry. 214 00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:20,772 Well, then everything s magnifique, let's go dancing. 215 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,573 En garde , Monsieur! 216 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:26,344 My reign of terror, it now begins. 217 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,782 - Well, Rochelle is heating up. 218 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:33,218 - I was just telling Monsieur that when the firemen arrived, 219 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:37,722 I put them in the no-smoking section. 220 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,523 - Isn't he a riot? 221 00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,525 - Yeah, he's--he's killing me. 222 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,562 - Oh, but I am so weary. 223 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:48,233 I must rest to rebuild my strength. 224 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:51,469 - Well, Hubert, you take the third room on the left. 225 00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:53,738 And I'll bring your espresso right up. 226 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:57,976 - Ah, you are too swell. 227 00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,844 You and uh... 228 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,112 Monsieur. 229 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:10,755 - Hubert wants to kill me. 230 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,958 I don't understand all the details but it... 231 00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:17,028 it involves cheese. 232 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,629 - Dick, you're babbling. 233 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:23,634 - He said that I would sleep with the--the cheeses. 234 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,770 - Dick, take a nap. 235 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:35,947 - Ah, I see my croissant, they go over like the hotcake! 236 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,050 - Hubert, couldn't you just stay here 237 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,785 and take care of us forever and ever? 238 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,787 - Please? 239 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:45,589 - Now, now. I'm sure Hubert is a very busy man. 240 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:49,627 He has other innkeepers to terrorize. 241 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:55,166 - Monsieur, you know how to tickle the armpit of Hubert. 242 00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,338 [SHOUTS] No, no, no! 243 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,373 This one is not for you! 244 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,309 My boo-boo. 245 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:08,346 The one with the black olive was made special for you. 246 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:16,154 - I uh...I hate--hate olives. 247 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,859 - It has served its purpose. 248 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,593 Please enjoy. 249 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,329 [EVERYONE MAKES MMMMM SOUNDS] 250 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:30,768 - Does ar-arsenic smell like spinach? 251 00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,337 - Dick, this morbid death wish of yours 252 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:35,006 is putting a crimp in my croissant. 253 00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,941 Let's settle this once and for all, huh? 254 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:41,946 Hubert, did you poison Dick's omelet? 255 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,515 - Ah, but you are too clever. 256 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,252 Oui , I poisoned Monsieur Dick's omelet. 257 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,452 And I poisoned your omelet, 258 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,388 and yours, and yours, and yours, and yours. 259 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:51,622 All the omlettes are poisoned. 260 00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:53,958 Run for your lives, run for your lives. 261 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,093 Pff! 262 00:14:56,897 --> 00:15:00,731 - See, Dick. He was using sarcasm to make a point. 263 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,570 - I-I guess it was too subtle for me, George. 264 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,208 - Well, Super Mikey is off to the supermarket. 265 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,543 S'il vous plait , Super Mikey. 266 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,812 Some items for tonight's dinner. 267 00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:18,749 - Endives, asparagus, radicchio, capers, rat poison, croutons. 268 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,351 - We don't have any rats around here. 269 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,053 - Au contraire. 270 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:26,324 Last night, I saw a big one crawling into your room. 271 00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:30,594 And that rat must be punished. 272 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,530 - But--but he's not a bad rat. 273 00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:37,601 He--he only smoked one cigar. 274 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,470 - He's still peddling his paranoid act. 275 00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,940 - I'm at my wit's end. 276 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,108 Attention, attention! 277 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,010 Tonight, a special treat. 278 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,346 Rat poison in the salade Niçoise . 279 00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,548 Please dress accordingly. 280 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,154 - What a madcap champ. 281 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,522 I do so admire that. 282 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,460 Hi Jo-Jo. - Hi, Michael. 283 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:03,461 Morning, everybody. 284 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:04,762 - Morning. 285 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:05,763 - Morning, Joanna. 286 00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,265 - Where are you going? 287 00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,367 - I'm going to drive over to Danny's diner 288 00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:13,104 and have some food that's not poisoned. 289 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,272 - Well, don't worry about your brakes. 290 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,506 They're fine now. 291 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,312 - My--my brakes were fine before. 292 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,348 - Hubert didn't think so. 293 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:24,782 He was afraid they might give out 294 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:27,952 rounding Johnnycake Curve. 295 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:30,121 - What a lovely guy. 296 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,556 I'm not sure I could wake up at 3 a.m. 297 00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,625 to fix Dick's brakes. 298 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:42,733 - I'm going to go upstairs and suck up some toothpaste. 299 00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,476 JOANNA: See you later, honey. 300 00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:52,843 - Wh-Where are you going? 301 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,546 - To the mall. I'm going to return the yellow... 302 00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,315 never mind. 303 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:58,483 - Well, nay-maybe I'll tag along. 304 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,685 I only say that because there's a deranged Frenchman here 305 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,288 who--who wants to kill me. 306 00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:06,957 - Bye-bye, Dick. 307 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,234 - Don't be surprised if you find me filled full of holes 308 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:19,203 like a--like a hunk of Swiss! 309 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,378 - See you later, Dick. 310 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,979 - Hey, hey, buddy. What's up? 311 00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:34,318 - Hubert gave me 10 dollars to go to have a drink, 312 00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:37,288 eat dinner, and see a movie. 313 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:41,725 - You always--always were a cheap, cheap date. 314 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:42,860 - Thanks. 315 00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:47,065 - You know, I wouldn't mind seeing--seeing a movie. 316 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,499 - I'd ask you to come along 317 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,869 but you've already seen Police Academy 6 . 318 00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:54,004 - Yeah, but that's-- that's the one movie 319 00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:58,342 that I could see over and over again. 320 00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:01,279 - Sorry, Dick, I need a little time away from you. 321 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:08,886 - Bonjour! - [STARTLES] 322 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,856 - Did the handyman go bye-bye? 323 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,393 - Yes, but if you want him, I can run like the wind 324 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:16,527 and catch his truck. 325 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,496 - Don't bother! 326 00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,565 I'll wait till he returns to give him this. 327 00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,633 [SHARP INHALE] 328 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:23,634 I need him to sharpen it. 329 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:27,538 It is so dull, it will not even cut through bone. 330 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:37,748 - Hi. 331 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,390 - Am I glad to see a familiar... 332 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:49,227 lip. 333 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:57,568 - A pricey specialist forced Darryl to cut his dream in half. 334 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,936 We should have picked our own doctor 335 00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:03,174 and not listened to Ivana Trump. 336 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:06,944 - Why don't you guys stay here and tell me the whole story? 337 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,079 Even if it means, you know... 338 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:12,517 starting with--with your birth. 339 00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:13,884 - Another time perhaps. 340 00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:16,554 We just stopped by to get a reaction to Darryl's lip 341 00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:19,123 from the gentler sex. 342 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,959 Is Miss Joanna available for a quick swoon? 343 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:25,129 - No, she's-- she's at the mall. 344 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:26,096 - Come on, Darryl. 345 00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:27,765 Let's go see if your lip gets a rise 346 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,967 out of them babes at the DMV. 347 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,746 - Surprise! 348 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,285 Peek-a-boo. 349 00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:48,852 - Hu-Hubert. 350 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,088 - I just had the uncontrollable urge to run around the house 351 00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:53,123 and come in through the front door. 352 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,459 - Well, now that... 353 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:58,596 now that I've got my coat on, 354 00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:01,799 I-I think I'll go upstairs and take a nap. 355 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:07,305 - You sleep on the left side? 356 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,941 - Why--why--why do you ask? 357 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,177 - No particular reason. 358 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,045 [MANIACAL LAUGH] 359 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:18,216 - Look, I-I-I I can't take this anymore. 360 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:21,085 I burnt down your restaurant and I deserve to be punished. 361 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:24,455 But this, I mean, this waiting is--is driving me crazy. 362 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:27,358 I-If you're going to do something, 363 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:30,828 do it and--and get it--get it over with. 364 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,463 - You seem uncomfortable. 365 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:33,664 - Yes. 366 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:34,798 - And frightened. 367 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,033 - Yes. 368 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,168 - You find it difficult to breathe? 369 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,605 - Yes, yes, yes. 370 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:43,207 - There, I get you. 371 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:45,909 - Huh? 372 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,111 - I said I would get you, and I get you. 373 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,679 I get you good! 374 00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:53,417 - How did-- how did you get me? 375 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,485 - You don't eat, you don't sleep. 376 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,821 For one whole day, I make your entire life miserable. 377 00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,457 Ha-ha! 378 00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,194 - Then you're not trying to kill me? 379 00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:08,065 - If I want to kill you, I make you eat German food. 380 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:12,270 - That--that's it? It's over? 381 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:18,743 I won't be sleeping with the... with the cheeses? 382 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:22,780 - Not unless you want to smell up your sheets! 383 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,848 Come, I cook for you. 384 00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,784 You must be famished. 385 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:31,021 - All--all I had today was a-a bowl of Crest. 386 00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:32,657 - We start with a light appetizer. 387 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:35,393 Say...cheese puff! 388 00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:37,628 I get you again! [LAUGHS] 389 00:21:39,365 --> 00:21:42,533 - You know, Hubert, you're starting to get on my nerves. 390 00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:53,344 - Hi. 391 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,214 - What--what happened--what happened to Darryl's lip? 392 00:21:57,383 --> 00:22:00,117 - He had it removed. 393 00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:02,853 He discovered it's not the size of a man's lip 394 00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:05,423 the gals at the DMV are interested in. 395 00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:12,596 - Yeah, that's the talk around the locker room. 396 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:17,635 You know, I-I heard that what motor vehicle women really love 397 00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:19,470 is a guy who's sensitive. 398 00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:22,707 You know, a guy who's--who's not afraid to cry. 399 00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:23,708 - They should've been there 400 00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:26,176 when the doctor ripped Darryl's lip off. 401 00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:33,617 - Yeah, I bet they're kicking themselves. 402 00:22:33,786 --> 00:22:37,054 - Anyway, what really gets them DMV babes revved up 403 00:22:37,223 --> 00:22:38,356 ain't lips at all. 404 00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,691 It's these. Whip 'em out, Darryl. 405 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,229 Let's get a move on. 406 00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:49,066 Those lovelies in License Renewal punch out at 4:30. 407 00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:59,744 - Dad was right, I should've married a DMV girl. 408 00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:09,420 [♪♪♪] 409 00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:36,113 - Meow. 30735

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