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1
00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:04,236
[]
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00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:09,901
- I don't know, Harry.
3
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:11,203
I can't make up my mind.
4
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,105
Everything looks so good.
5
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:14,373
Oh, miss!
6
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:17,142
- [SIGH] What?
7
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,580
- What do you suggest?
8
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:26,151
- Well, I'd use less hairspray
and that lip gloss has to go.
9
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,456
- Mornings, me lads, me lasses.
10
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:31,623
- Hi, Michael.
11
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:32,691
- Steph.
12
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:34,193
- Why do you keep coming
back here?
13
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,161
You made it perfectly clear
to me that it's over.
14
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:37,362
- Just because
our amour is no more,
15
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:40,299
doesn't mean you have
custody of the compadres.
16
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:41,666
- Meaning?
17
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,369
- Michael is saying
that he-he's our friend too.
18
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,506
Isn't that what you're saying?
19
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,041
- I think so.
20
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:51,276
- Then why are you always
saying nasty things
21
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:52,811
about Dick behind his back?
22
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,381
- Why are you here, Michael?
23
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:57,916
- I thought maybe
you could feed me.
24
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:00,552
You going to finish
that strip of bacon?
25
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,588
- Yes.
26
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,389
- Stephanie, why don't you
make Michael some breakfast?
27
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,191
- I'd rather roast in hell.
28
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,328
- She's taking this breakup
pretty well.
29
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:11,230
Don't you think?
30
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,964
- So how's
the, uh, job hunting going?
31
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,167
- I've papered this town
with resume mucho.
32
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:17,969
- Any--any nibbles?
33
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:18,970
- I did get one offer,
34
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:21,373
but I don't think I can
do that in front of a camera.
35
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,279
- Oh, Mis-Mr. Gorski,
what a pleasant surprise.
36
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:30,048
Honey, this is the new
station owner, Mr. Jack Gorski.
37
00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:31,683
- Oh, hello.
Nice to meet you.
38
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,452
- Hi, Mr. Gorski.
Remember me?
39
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:34,453
- Of course.
40
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:36,955
I fired you after you called
my daughter a tramp.
41
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:39,724
- Good memory.
42
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,627
Oh, I've got to run.
I've got this thing
43
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:45,797
at this thing concerning
a very promising thing.
44
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,201
- We'll keep my things crossed.
45
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:54,606
- Dick, I'll come
right to the point.
46
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:58,043
I'm starting a new late night
talk show next week,
47
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,311
and I'd like you to--
48
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,312
- Th-Th-That's very kind of you,
49
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,114
b-but Vermont Today takes up
so much of my time.
50
00:03:03,284 --> 00:03:06,051
I-I don't know if I could
handle hosting two shows.
51
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:07,752
- Well, I'm not asking you to.
52
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,954
I'm not thrilled with you
hosting one show.
53
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,460
I've signed Don Prince
to host Vermont Tonight.
54
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,461
- Who's that?
55
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,030
- Well, remember the irascible
delicatessen owner on
56
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,566
It's Always Moishe?
57
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,105
- No.
- He was the whole show.
58
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:30,342
Then he did a horrible
reunion special,
59
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:33,745
A Very Moishe Christmas ,
60
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:37,649
and they made him
leave California.
61
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,618
I found him
doing radio in Jersey.
62
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,121
- Morning, everybody.
- Hi, George.
63
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,591
Mr. Gorski, this is
our handyman, George Utley.
64
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:46,592
- George.
- Morning.
65
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,727
- George, do you remember
Don Prince?
66
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,662
- From It's Always Moishe ?
67
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,232
What a show.
68
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,367
Now I'll have
that darn theme song
69
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,836
running through my head
all day long.
70
00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:00,305
Who's the guy Who cuts pastrami?
71
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,474
It's always Moishe
72
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,143
Who's the guy Who lives with Mommy?
73
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,379
It's always Moishe
74
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:15,487
- Anyway, I'd like you to be
the first guest on Don's show.
75
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:17,822
- Me?
76
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:22,227
- I wanted a surefire celebrity
to grab some audience.
77
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,263
- Really?
78
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,997
- But you're all
I could come up with.
79
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:30,402
- Don't let it go to your head.
80
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,137
- Well, I'm sure
I can spare a night
81
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,872
to hel-help the guy out.
82
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,474
- Thanks.
83
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:38,343
If you turned me down,
I was going to ask her.
84
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:45,584
- Who's the guy Who sells the knishes?
85
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,386
It's always Moishe
86
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,688
Who's the guy Who smells like fishes?
87
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:50,689
Everybody--
88
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:52,957
TOGETHER: It's always Moishe
89
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:04,803
- Cue Mr. Prince,
15 seconds to air.
90
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,772
- I put your favorite
coffee mug on the desk
91
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,973
in the same spot as usual, Dick.
92
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,142
- What same spot?
93
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:14,212
This show has never
been on before, Bud.
94
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,782
- Then whose mug
did I give you?
95
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,917
- In three, two...
96
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:22,287
[]
97
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:25,156
Live from Studio 2,
it's Vermont Tonight ,
98
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,959
starring the prince
of late night, Don Prince.
99
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:40,405
- Can you spare it?
100
00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:44,810
Vermont, I had to get booked
in Vermont.
101
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,745
I'll make you people
feel at home.
102
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:48,913
Would you like some syrup
on your pancakes?
103
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,518
Guess the NyQuil kicked in.
104
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:56,788
Maybe you could
calm down long enough
105
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,391
to say hello to
the Vermont Tonight band.
106
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,895
Ted, are you bowing or
did you eat some bad mayonnaise?
107
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,367
What a band, eh?
What a band.
108
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,802
I make better music
when I sit on balloons.
109
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,575
- "Put syrup on your pancakes."
110
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,679
- Bud, I spoke to the mortuary
111
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:23,047
and they say you died
last Tuesday.
112
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,619
And they want you
to return the shoes.
113
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,824
My first guest tonight
is a local talk show host,
114
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:33,825
Dick Loudon.
115
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:36,995
[]
116
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:42,967
Would you walk
a little faster?
117
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,803
The show is only 90 minutes.
118
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:48,907
- Nice--nice to meet you.
119
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,442
- What happened?
They run out of...
120
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,143
They run out of paper
in the men's room?
121
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,285
- Don, on behalf of WPIV,
122
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:02,687
I'd like to welcome you
to Vermont.
123
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,723
- Gee, I get chills.
124
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,393
Look who they sent me,
the janitor,
125
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,728
to welcome me to Vermont.
126
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,398
- No, I-I'm not the janitor.
127
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:16,367
I-I-I'm Dick Loudon,
I-I host Vermont Today .
128
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:17,869
- Oh, who the hell
watches that show?
129
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,306
Some old lonely lumberjacks
130
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:23,442
and maybe one guy
that works the ski lift.
131
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,879
- No.
- That's a nice suit, Dick.
132
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,448
You wear that,
and in eight years,
133
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,949
it'll come back in style.
134
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,286
- A-Actually, Vermont Today
was the first show
135
00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:38,790
to-to interview Congressman
Joseph Scandore af-after he--
136
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,759
- It's an old suit,
isn't it?
137
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,729
- After--after he was indicted
for lau-laundering cash.
138
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,665
- You hate the part
with the buck, don't you?
139
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,902
- I-I-I spend--I spend bucks.
140
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,604
- On what?
Muscatel?
141
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:59,611
- I don't [CLEARS THROAT]I
don't--I don't drink.
142
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,280
- Look at that, Dick.
You're starting to blush, huh?
143
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:03,381
You're starting to blush.
144
00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:05,216
Either that, or he's thinking
about me being naked.
145
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,223
What's the matter, Dick?
You got jock itch?
146
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:19,664
- How much--how much time
do we--do we have left?
147
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,099
- Eighty-four minutes.
148
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:27,706
- Oh--oh my God.
149
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:28,840
- Dick, you're sweating
like a pig.
150
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,709
What do you got, malaria?
151
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,879
What's in that mug?
Let me see.
152
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,013
- Wa--uh, water.
153
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,616
- What are those olives
doing in there?
154
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,384
- Th-Th-There are no olives.
155
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:40,785
- What the hell are they?
156
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:46,825
Hot smoke
shot out of my pants.
157
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,568
Who's the guy Who's sweet and caring?
158
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,937
It's always Moishe
159
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:01,673
e Who's the guy Who reeks from herring?
160
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:04,009
It's always Moishe
161
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,544
- Morning, George.
- Morning, Joanna.
162
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,412
Listen to this review.
163
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,348
"Last night, during the premier
of Vermont Tonight ,
164
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,983
"I witnessed a miracle.
165
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:16,688
"My Uncle Ed, who has been
unable to walk for 35 years,
166
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,089
"leapt out of bed,
167
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:21,092
"rushed across the room
and changed the channel.
168
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:24,029
"All in all,
169
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,132
"Vermont Tonight is like
a wheel of aged cheese.
170
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,435
"It stinks."
171
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:31,736
Not bad, huh?
172
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,106
- Oh, I'll have waffles too,
Stephanie.
173
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,709
- Sorry, the kitchen closed
two minutes ago.
174
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:39,778
- Then reopen it.
I just got up.
175
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:40,979
Dick was on TV last night
176
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,615
and I didn't get to bed
until after 1.
177
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,951
- I thought the older you get,
the less sleep you need.
178
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:52,123
- No, the older you get,
the more waffles you need.
179
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,959
Now get them.
180
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,595
- I think somebody in this room
needs a nap.
181
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,066
- Okay, but I'm going to
finish my waffles first.
182
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,073
Oh Dick,
I talked to the mortuary.
183
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,874
You died last Tuesday. [LAUGHS]
184
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,045
And they want the shoes back.
185
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,949
[JOANNA AND GEORGE LAUGH]
186
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:21,953
- Okay, now that you both
have had your fun,
187
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,287
you want to knock it off?
188
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:25,824
- Okay.
189
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,927
Were you really thinking
about Don Prince naked?
190
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,431
- Yes, George.
- I could tell!
191
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:39,638
- Here's your waffles.
- They're wet.
192
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,574
- Well, I had to wash
the coffee grounds off.
193
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,043
- I'll have eggs.
- So will I.
194
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,978
- Oh, get off this power trip,
Joanna.
195
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,651
- Oh hi, Joanna.
196
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,019
Good morning, Dick, my boy.
[CHUCKLES]
197
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,022
Quite a show last night, huh?
198
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,556
How'd you sleep?
199
00:10:58,725 --> 00:10:59,724
- Like this.
200
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,594
- I slept like a baby too.
201
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:06,965
The station switchboard
lit up like a Christmas tree.
202
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,233
Three calls.
203
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,036
I think we've got a solid hit.
204
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:14,172
- Yeah, well, I'll try to
catch the show again sometime.
205
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,840
- Dick, when I came aboard,
206
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:19,177
I had you sign that
overall contract with me.
207
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,178
- So?
208
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,714
- Well, so I can use you
in any show I want,
209
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:25,083
and I want you
on Vermont Tonight
210
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:26,685
five nights a week.
211
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,053
Here's your
production schedule.
212
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:32,957
- What a lucky break.
213
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:37,729
You get to be Don Prince's
permanent stooge.
214
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,766
Look Joanna, smoke
just shot out of his pants.
215
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,408
[]
216
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,778
- Thank you, ladies.
217
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,246
That was the Sunshine Seniors
218
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,116
doing their dance tribute
to Metamucil.
219
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,020
Come on Dick, snap out.
Wake up. Wake up.
220
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,588
Snap out of it, huh?
Wake up.
221
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:04,889
- Huh?
222
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,058
- What is it with you, huh?
Don't you like girls?
223
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:09,594
- What?
224
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:11,329
- Well, how about if we hired
the Vienna Boys' Choir?
225
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,898
Then maybe we can watch Dick
sit up straight.
226
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:18,302
- Sorry, Don.
I've been having trouble
227
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,304
sleeping
these last--last couple weeks.
228
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:22,640
- Yeah? Well, if those bags
under your eyes get any lower,
229
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,342
you're going to start to look
like your wife.
230
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,913
And by the way,
I don't know
231
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,349
what all those merchant marines
see in her anyway.
232
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,689
[SIREN BLOWING]
233
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:39,690
- Oh no.
234
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:41,692
- That's right, Dick,
it's that time again,
235
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,828
everybody's favorite part
of the show.
236
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,898
Time to pick on Dick.
237
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,867
Pick on Dick.
238
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,041
- I really hate
this part of the show.
239
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,778
- That's why we do it.
240
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,345
Paul, unleash them.
241
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,081
Pick on Dick.
242
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,083
Pick on Dick.
243
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,684
Pick on Dick.
244
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:07,852
Right here.
245
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,622
- Hi Don, I'm Anette Gordon
and I love your show.
246
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:12,723
- Thank you, darling.
247
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:13,992
What do you want to say to Dick?
248
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:16,261
- I have a question for him.
249
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:19,630
Dick, is that your face
250
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,168
or is that a roadmap
with pants on?
251
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:29,908
- That was very good, darling.
252
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:31,943
What do we have for her, Paul?
253
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:34,045
- A Pick on Dick T-shirt
254
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:39,317
and dinner for two at
the Drum and Musket on Route 14.
255
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,287
Pick on Dick.
256
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:43,888
Pick on Dick.
257
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,389
Oh, right here.
Right here.
258
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:49,194
- Let's book
the Vienna Boys' Choir
259
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,429
and watch Dick
sit up straight.
260
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,569
- Bud, were your parents
brother and sister?
261
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:03,942
Nah, you're a good sport.
262
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:05,844
Paul, give him a T-shirt.
263
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,312
- There you go.
264
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,180
- We have time for one more.
265
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,015
- Pick on Dick.
266
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,817
Pick on Dick.
267
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,385
Pick on Dick.
268
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,121
Pick on Dick.
269
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:20,725
- Hi, my name is Bill.
270
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,193
I've got one.
271
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:27,298
A priest, a rabbi and Dick
go into a bar.
272
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,433
Dick's got a parrot
on his shoulder.
273
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,836
- Wait.
Wait a minute.
274
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,305
I-I know that voice.
275
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:35,974
George, is that you?
276
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:39,978
- Hi, Dick.
277
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,081
- He-He's my handyman.
278
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,416
- Handyman?
I bet he is.
279
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,223
[PHONE RINGS]
280
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,424
- I'll get it.
281
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,659
Stratford Inn.
282
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,662
Yes, we're right off Route 22.
283
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,334
Well, I don't know,
how many are in your fleet?
284
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,741
Hold on, and I'll check.
285
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,977
We don't rent rooms
by the hour, do we?
286
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:17,081
- Are those more
merchant marines?
287
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,516
- And his voice is shaky.
288
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:22,686
Either he's really nervous
or--ew!
289
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:25,623
- Go lift weights.
290
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,761
- Well, I guess you want me
to go shopping
291
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,965
after a dramatic phone call
like that.
292
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,499
- I wouldn't have it
any other way.
293
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,003
- That was easy.
294
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,171
I'll go change.
295
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:44,442
- Psst!
296
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,843
Is the coast clear?
297
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:48,479
- George, Dick is livid
about last night.
298
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,249
How could you make
fun of him like that?
299
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:52,317
- I guess I didn't think.
300
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,220
I just wanted one of those
neat T-shirts so bad.
301
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:58,389
- Well, you can't hide
in that basement forever.
302
00:15:58,558 --> 00:15:59,457
- I'll make it up to him.
303
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,225
I'll take him to a
complementary dinner for two
304
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:02,526
at the Drum and Musket.
305
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,463
Feel him out for me, Joanna.
306
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,232
I'll be sitting behind
the hot water heater.
307
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,069
- How now, Dick's frau?
308
00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:12,437
- Well, hi Michael.
309
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,173
We haven't seen much of you
around here lately.
310
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:16,207
- Yeah, I've been doing
some temp work
311
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:17,541
at a traveling carnival.
312
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,347
They're camped out
in the Sears parking lot.
313
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:24,349
I clean up after Bip,
the monkey boy.
314
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:28,619
- Well, that'll look good
on a resume.
315
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,058
- Where's George?
- You just missed him.
316
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,627
- I'm going to find him
and hurt him.
317
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:39,330
What do you want?
318
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,665
- Whoa, somebody got up
on the far side of the futon.
319
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,535
I just came by
to blanket you
320
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:47,005
with a bunch of
belated bravissimos.
321
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,039
- For what?
322
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,907
- Your sudden
surge of celebrity.
323
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:51,942
Degrading you mercilessly
on the air five nights a week
324
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,045
was an obvious
programing brainstorm.
325
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,347
I could kick myself
for not kicking you sooner.
326
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,517
- Maybe you have some integrity.
327
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,718
- No, I don't think so.
328
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,822
- Michael, we're hoping the show
is just a flash in the pan.
329
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:07,191
- Are you kidding?
It's a bonanza, little Jo.
330
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,963
- Honey,
why don't you just quit?
331
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,133
- I can't quit.
I have a contract.
332
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,468
- Do what I did.
Call Gorski's daughter a tramp.
333
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,542
- Three, two...
334
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:29,280
- Live from Studio 2,
it's Vermont Tonight ,
335
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,216
starring the prince
of late night,
336
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,253
the man you love
to have humiliate me...
337
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,990
the man who said
my idea of a good time
338
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,627
is sitting on the porch
watching my face break out...
339
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,497
Don Prince.
340
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:49,667
[APPLAUSE]
341
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:57,908
- Great intro, Dick.
342
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,044
Next time try not to spit
all over the mic.
343
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:03,814
Say hello to Dick Loudon.
344
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,151
Oh, look at that!
Dicky did a little trick.
345
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,152
That was cute, Dicky.
346
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,721
Here, good boy.
Good dog. Roll over.
347
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:13,591
Roll over.
Bark. Bark.
348
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,460
Stay. Stay.
349
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,495
What a good dog!
What a good dog!
350
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,132
Ladies and gentlemen,
351
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:24,202
I've known my first guest
for over 20 years.
352
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,003
He's the king of commercials.
353
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,004
He's done so many,
354
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,341
it's hard to look at his face
and not run to the toilet.
355
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,310
Ladies and gentlemen,
Frank Tuttle.
356
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,479
[]
357
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,681
[APPLAUSE]
358
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:43,121
Oh Frank, how are you?
359
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,388
Please.
360
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,357
This is a real star.
Get the hell out of that chair.
361
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:48,192
Get the hell
out of that chair.
362
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,628
Come on, move. Move.
Sit here, Frank.
363
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:54,198
Oh boy,
Frank Tuttle on my show.
364
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,969
What's a big fat star like you
doing in Vermont?
365
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:01,405
- I'm shooting a movie
down the street.
366
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,474
- Who cares?
You really annoy me, Frank.
367
00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:07,612
Every time I turn on a TV,
I find your face staring at me.
368
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,480
I want you out of my
living room, you hear me, Frank?
369
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:10,548
Out of my living room.
370
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:12,150
Say hello to Dick.
371
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,051
- Hello, Dick.
- Hello, Frank.
372
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:15,052
- Very good, boys.
373
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,556
Now get undressed
and wrestle each other.
374
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:20,691
- That's funny.
375
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:24,128
How do you stand working
with this guy every night?
376
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,296
- They make me.
377
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,635
- Isn't that cute?
378
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,970
Dicky made a joke.
379
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,805
I guess he passed that stone.
380
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,144
Look, look at this;
he's getting red.
381
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,546
Is that a blood clot?
382
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,384
I'm sorry,
Dicky's going to cry.
383
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,653
Is it time for Dicky
to change his Huggies?
384
00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:52,956
- You're bald and fat.
385
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,334
- What?
386
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,404
- You're fat.
387
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,506
You're fat and--and bald.
388
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:15,413
- Why'd you say that for?
- I-I...
389
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,082
- Dick, I've been
in this business
390
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,517
most of my life.
391
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:21,719
There were times
when I was flush
392
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,655
and times
when I needed a handout.
393
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:30,261
I've worked hard for every
little thing I've achieved,
394
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,597
and for you to just
put me down like that...
395
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:36,767
I don't understand it.
396
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,646
Ladies and gentlemen,
I caI really can't.more.
397
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,682
I'm sorry.
398
00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:59,557
- All--all I--what--what--what
did I say?
399
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,693
- You sadistic motherless creep.
400
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:19,477
- Can I--can I come in?
401
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,916
Listen, about--
about what happened out there,
402
00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:32,290
are you--are you all right?
Say something.
403
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:33,991
- Fat and bald?
404
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:36,427
I mean, Dick,
you could have come up
405
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:38,663
with some better material
than that,
406
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:40,197
like "Is that your gut,
407
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:42,466
or are you smuggling
a bag of fertilizer?"
408
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:46,804
- Yeah, that is--that is better.
409
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,506
Wh-What's going on?
410
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:52,610
- Dick, you gave me
a great gift out there.
411
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,545
You emotionally destroyed me.
412
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,213
I'm a basket case.
413
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:58,248
If that don't get me
out of the Gorski contract,
414
00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:00,284
nothing will.
415
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:04,689
- H-Hold on, you were waiting
for me to blow up at you
416
00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:06,657
so you could get out
of your contract?
417
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,592
- It took you long enough
to crack.
418
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,628
I thought two weeks ago
you'd go for my throat,
419
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:12,730
but you're so damn nice.
420
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:16,600
- Why--why did--why didn't I
pick up on this?
421
00:22:16,769 --> 00:22:18,602
- Because you're an idiot.
How do I know?
422
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:24,742
Listen, Dick,
keep this under wraps, huh?
423
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:26,610
But there's a new interest
over at CBS
424
00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:29,847
about bringing back
It's Always Moishe,
425
00:22:30,049 --> 00:22:33,551
and the old deli man
could use a real good stooge.
426
00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:39,557
- Well, it-it's very tempting,
but I think I-I'll stay here
427
00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:43,527
and spend the rest of my life
as a-a town joke.
428
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,531
- Whatever you say, Dick.
429
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:53,604
I'm sorry I destroyed your life,
but hey, that's my act.
430
00:22:53,773 --> 00:22:56,874
- Well, there's, you know,
no--no harm done.
431
00:22:57,042 --> 00:23:01,846
- Well, you take care
of yourself, you hear me, okay?
432
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:06,350
- Listen, uh, if you don't mind,
I'm not a very physical person.
433
00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:08,519
- Oh!
434
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,388
I understand, guy.
435
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,256
Oh, and one more thing.
436
00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:13,424
- Yeah?
437
00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:18,696
[APPLAUSE]
438
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:24,735
[]
439
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:51,094
- Meow.
34488
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