Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:04,103
[]
2
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:51,450
- Joanna, why--
why didn't you stop me
3
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,519
from eating that fifth pancake?
4
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,220
- I tried!
Didn't you notice me
5
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,523
jabbing your hand
with my fork?
6
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,226
- You should know me by now.
You've got to break the skin.
7
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,430
- Ooooh, somebody
left us a note.
8
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,098
"Good morning.
"Saw you were eating.
9
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,566
"Didn't want to interrupt.
10
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,268
"Checked myself into Room 2.
11
00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:12,971
Hope you don't mind.
L. Gardner."
12
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:15,074
- You mean, somebody came in
off the street and--
13
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,442
and checked themselves in?
14
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:17,443
- Oh, I remember.
15
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,511
An L. Gardner wrote us
for reservations
16
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,246
about a month ago.
17
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,116
I wonder if that's who it is.
18
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,717
- Don't go out on a limb,
Joanna.
19
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,156
- Joanna,
if you were going
20
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,459
to a $2500-a-plate
charity dinner
21
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:38,397
at the Ritz-Carlton in New York,
which of course you aren't...
22
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:42,301
And you had to decide between
two designer gowns
23
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:45,337
which, of course,
you don't own,
24
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,671
which one would you choose?
25
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,108
- Well, obviously the white one.
26
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:52,677
- Okay.
You've got another shot at it.
27
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,012
- The black one.
28
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,448
- That was my first choice, too.
29
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,650
- What, uh, what charity is it?
30
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:02,988
- Uh, oh,
it's one of those causes...
31
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,256
the needy, the starving.
32
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,625
I forget which.
Anyway...
33
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,327
The point is,
we all get to dress up,
34
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,496
eat a lot,
and impress each other.
35
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:17,369
- Do you know the water
is running in Room 2?
36
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,438
- Yeah, we--we have a guest
in there, George.
37
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:21,607
- You didn't happen to...
catch a glimpse
38
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,675
of whoever is in there,
did you?
39
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,544
- Joanna,
I'm not in the habit of
40
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:29,148
peeking at guests
in the shower.
41
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,416
Not since Dick yelled at me.
42
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:37,055
- Oh, Steph.
- Hi, Michael.
43
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,557
- Hello, Stratford inn-mates.
44
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:42,294
- Bad news, bear.
45
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:44,696
Starting today,
the Circus of Shoes
46
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,731
will be open
24 hours a day.
47
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,034
- Who would buy shoes
in the middle of the night?
48
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,068
- Ask my manager.
49
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,571
This silly scheme seeped
out of his cerebellum.
50
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:53,672
It's going to fail
just like his
51
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,441
buy one pair/get one shoe
free idea.
52
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,346
- Poor you!
Ready for tonight?
53
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,347
- Sorry, Cuppers.
54
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,650
There's a timecard
with my name on it.
55
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:08,187
- [SIGHS] Well,
I guess there's no choice.
56
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,888
Quit your job.
57
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,224
- My mitts are manacled.
58
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,059
None of the other
salesmen can work tonight.
59
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,327
Timmy's cramming
for a spelling bee.
60
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,529
The manager
has his SATs coming up.
61
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:26,538
- Well, that means
I can't go to the ball! [SOBS]
62
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,039
- Stephanie,
if it'll make you feel better,
63
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:32,411
you can hang out with Joanna
and me tonight and play Yahtzee.
64
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:35,814
[SOBS]
65
00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:37,749
- Well, that certainly helped.
66
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:40,619
- Dick, you know I would
never ask you a favor
67
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,354
unless you were around.
68
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,358
This dinner means mucho
to my muffin.
69
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:49,160
Do you think you could possibly
pinch-hit for me tonight?
70
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:52,297
- Michael, I'm not very
comfortable at formal affairs.
71
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,799
- Suck in that ego, Dick.
I mean, at the shoe store.
72
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,337
- No!
73
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:01,039
[STEPHANIE CRYING LOUDLY]
74
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,541
- All right, all right.
You...you can go to the ball.
75
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,175
- I don't want to go
to the ball.
76
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,176
I hate those things!
77
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:06,545
- If I can't import an escort,
78
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,714
there'll be no more muffin
on my menu.
79
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,251
- Michael, I--I still
don't think that--that...
80
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:14,553
- Don't make me resort
to blackmail, Dick.
81
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:19,190
- You--you don't have
anything on me.
82
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,025
- [SOBS] You see
how pathetic I am!
83
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,363
And that was my trump card!
84
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,531
[SOBS]
85
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,580
- Wow-wee!
86
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:47,653
- Dick, these are 200
of the most prominent people
87
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,187
on the East Coast.
88
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,222
You don't say, "Wow-wee."
89
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:55,527
You use words like
"ah," "hmmm."
90
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,363
- I--I guess
the richer you are,
91
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,499
the fewer syllables
you have to use.
92
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:05,604
- Oh, the Thorntons are here.
93
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,705
When you meet Mr. Thornton,
94
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:09,408
don't mention the word
"indictment."
95
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,679
- I'll, uh...I'll try to keep
my acerbic tongue in check.
96
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,417
- One more thing, when you
finish eating that shrimp puff,
97
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,485
don't sniff your fingers.
98
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:24,022
- I suppose I can't
spit on the floor either.
99
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:28,059
- Dick, this isn't
the Stratford.
100
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,401
- Pardon me,
have you seen Binky?
101
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,636
- Huh?
102
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:41,807
- Ah, there he is,
and he's with Tess.
103
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,975
Hmmm.
104
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:49,381
- Dick, if you don't know
the answer to a question,
105
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,616
don't say "huh."
106
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,885
Just toss your head back
in a playful manner
107
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,854
and laugh knowingly,
like so.
108
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,923
[GIGGLES]
109
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,393
- May-maybe I should
just wait in the plane.
110
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,529
- Just smile
and have a good time.
111
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,401
Oh, damn!
Libby Hardcourt is here.
112
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,769
We hate her.
113
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,273
- Why--
why do we hate her?
114
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:16,641
- Oh, she's one of
those spoiled,
115
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,511
snotty little rich girls.
You know the type.
116
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,849
- I--I have a pretty good idea.
117
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:28,420
- Her coming-out party cost
$50,000 more than mine.
118
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:29,688
Her parents even flew in
Carol Channing
119
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,056
who made us all sing along
to "Hello, Libby."
120
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,326
I hate her, I hate her,
I hate her!
121
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,262
Libby dear!
- Stephanie darling.
122
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:38,864
- It's been too long.
123
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,934
- Stephanie, your hair.
124
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,103
- Oh, do you like it?
- Not a bit!
125
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:50,341
- Oh, I see you're wearing
an original Gianina Brazizzi.
126
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,511
- Yes, and I see you're
wearing the knockoff.
127
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,315
- Have you met my escort,
Scooter Drake.
128
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:58,650
- Hello.
Stephanie Vanderkellen.
129
00:06:58,819 --> 00:06:59,718
- Yes, of course.
130
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,352
Libby's told me
so much about you.
131
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,254
You're the one who got smashed
at her coming-out party
132
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,657
and tried to choke
Carol Channing with her boa.
133
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,897
- And this is my escort,
Richard Loudon.
134
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:12,964
- Scooter.
135
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,599
- Hello, old man.
136
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,939
- Did you hear that Scooter's
microchip company's
137
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,775
just been sold for $280 million?
138
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,677
- $200? Wow!
139
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,448
Ah!
140
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:33,585
Hmmm!
141
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,788
- And these are my neighbors
from Southampton,
142
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,723
Kip and Anastasia DuPont.
143
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,992
- Hello.
- Charmed.
144
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,328
- You mean the DuPonts?
145
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,897
- [GIGGLES]
Obviously, Richard.
146
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,700
- I, uh, I have your carpet
in my bedroom.
147
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:58,009
- Your escort
is just too droll.
148
00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,478
- Isn't he though?
149
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,346
Richard, my glass is empty.
150
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,682
- Oh, all right, and while
I'm getting you a refill,
151
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:07,586
I'll...I'll try to come up
with some more droll lines.
152
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,788
- We'll be looking
forward to them.
153
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,491
- Heckuva party, huh?
154
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,860
- Indeed.
I don't believe we've met.
155
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,362
Colonel Reginald Croft-Tipton.
156
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:20,632
But call me Binky.
Everybody does.
157
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,768
- All right, all right, Binky.
I'm, uh, Richard Loudon.
158
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,805
- Not Sir Richard Loudon?
159
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,543
[LAUGHS]
160
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,391
- Hi. I'm Larry.
This is my brother Darryl,
161
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,126
and this is
my other brother Darryl.
162
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:49,961
- Hi, fellas.
What's up?
163
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,430
- It seems a puzzling
phenomenon occurred.
164
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,432
We were in the woods
choosin' up sides
165
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,701
for a quick game
of Naked Prey...
166
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:01,205
But Darryl forgot the Turtle Wax
for the bonus round...
167
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:05,744
So we went back to the caf�
where we found this.
168
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,549
- "Good afternoon.
169
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,552
"Couldn't find a waiter,
"so I made myself breakfast.
170
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,954
"Hope you don't mind.
L. Gardner."
171
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,891
- Did you happen to get
a glance at L. Gardner?
172
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,060
- No. Sorry.
173
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,862
What's that?
174
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,964
You saw the L. Gardner
in question?
175
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:30,068
- Well, is it a man or a woman?
176
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,408
- Seems to be
a discrepancy of opinion.
177
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:40,579
Darryl thinks it's a woman,
but Darryl begs to differ.
178
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,949
Since my brothers are known
for their extraordinary
179
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,551
gender-guessing skills,
it's safe to assume
180
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,486
that L. Gardner could only be
181
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,088
a swing dancer
from the road company
182
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,423
of the lilting
Jerry Herman musical
183
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,959
La Cage Aux Folles .
184
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:01,066
- I was so far off.
185
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:10,041
- Scooter just bought the most
charming villa in Anguilla.
186
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,978
- It's only 14 rooms.
I bought it for the rhyme.
187
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,813
[CHUCKLES]
188
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:17,181
- Well, Richard and I winter
189
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,918
at this charming little inn
in Vermont.
190
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:24,723
- We also spring, summer,
and fall there.
191
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,261
- Vermont.
How...backwoodsy.
192
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:37,002
- I just happen to own
that charming backwoodsy inn,
193
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,537
and Stephanie is well acquainted
since she is the--
194
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:41,272
- Oh, Richard, my glass.
195
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,145
- I've never
seen you so parched.
196
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,685
- Wherever did you
find your Richard?
197
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:56,988
He's such a refreshing change
from an interesting person.
198
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:03,494
- Well...actually,
Richard is very interesting.
199
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:05,096
He's just so modest.
200
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,766
It's really such a chore
to get him to chat
201
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:09,768
about his incredible wealth.
202
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,038
- Oh, really, Steffie?
Do fill us in.
203
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,273
- Well, you're all so
well-traveled,
204
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:18,309
surely you've stayed
at a Loudon hotel.
205
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,781
- I don't believe we have.
206
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,816
- You should splurge
once in a while.
207
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,553
- Come to think of it,
I believe I have stayed
208
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:31,656
at a Loudon hotel
in Boca...Raton.
209
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,792
- Oh, of course!
Kip and I honeymooned
210
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,294
at the new Loudon
in Portofino.
211
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,498
- The golf course
was most challenging.
212
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,401
And so was Anastasia.
213
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,404
- Oh, don't I know.
214
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,878
- So he's that Richard Loudon.
215
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,013
Ah!
216
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:56,748
ALL: Hmmm.
217
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:02,787
- Isn't there a Loudon
conceptual art wing
218
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,555
at the Whitney?
219
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,990
- Got me!
220
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,327
- Richard, darling.
221
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,162
We're all just
dying to know more
222
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,298
about those little
inns of yours.
223
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,103
[LAUGHS]
224
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,648
- It must be absolutely
thrilling to have one's name
225
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:32,951
be synonymous
with the word "luxury."
226
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,156
- It--it must be.
227
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,060
- What a delightful
sense of humor!
228
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:43,628
- The next time
we weekend in Bimini,
229
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,930
we'll have to stay
at your resort.
230
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:52,003
- I don't--I don't recall having
a resort in Bimini.
231
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,107
- You know the one, Richard.
It's a small one on the bluff.
232
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,912
- Oh, oh, the--the bluff one.
233
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:07,118
You know, Stephanie,
I-I have a sudden urge
234
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,619
to refill your glass.
235
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,689
Would you--
would you care to join me?
236
00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:14,192
- Oh, no.
It's still full.
237
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,161
- Polish it off on the way.
238
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,130
- He's such an imp.
239
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,169
- What is going on here?
240
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,638
Why--why do they suddenly
think of me as a hotel tycoon?
241
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:32,410
- Oh, you know the social elite.
They probably just assumed.
242
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,813
- They assumed
I had a resort in Bimini?
243
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,850
I--I don't even know
where--where Bimini is!
244
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:41,286
- Well, maybe I embellished
a little bit.
245
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,154
- Maybe you lied
your head off.
246
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:45,890
- I was forced into it.
247
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:48,159
Libby didn't find you
very interesting.
248
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,195
- I don't care
what Libby thinks.
249
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,930
We hate her anyway.
250
00:13:57,403 --> 00:14:00,238
- The point is, I was just
trying to make you look better.
251
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:01,840
- I don't want to look better.
252
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:02,941
I-I'm Dick.
253
00:14:03,109 --> 00:14:05,376
Not--not Richard Loudon.
254
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:07,912
As a matter of fact, I'm going
to go over there right now
255
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,381
and tell that to...
to, uh, to Scooter and...
256
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:14,285
and Kip and Anastasia
and Libby and...and Dinkie.
257
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,654
- It's Binky.
- Whatever!
258
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,089
- Dick, you cannot
go over there.
259
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,291
You'll humiliate us both,
especially me!
260
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:24,128
- Excuse me, aren't you
Richard Loudon?
261
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:31,169
- No, I'm Dick...
Merv Griffin!
262
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,073
- That's right.
- Uh, yes, yes.
263
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:38,142
I'm, uh, I-I'm Richard Loudon,
but you...
264
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:41,145
you can...you call me Dick.
Ev-every-veeryone does.
265
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:42,213
- Uh-huh.
266
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,248
- And I'm
Stephanie Vanderkellen,
267
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,949
Dick's very,
very special friend.
268
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,252
- Uh-huh.
Very nice to meet you.
269
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,356
- Say, Richard, I've been
hearing your name
270
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,291
around here all evening.
271
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,994
- Ah!
272
00:14:57,364 --> 00:15:00,031
- That's what I miss
about having a talk show,
273
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:04,168
meeting really fascinating
people like you.
274
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:08,339
- You know, I have...
I have a talk show, too.
275
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,174
- Ooooh!
276
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,312
Oh, there's Mort.
277
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,314
Listen, I promised
my dear friend Malcolm Forbes
278
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:20,018
that I'd sing "I Want to Go Back
to My Little Grass Shack."
279
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,121
Why don't you join me
for a duet?
280
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:26,024
- Well, uh, I--
I could do a little harmony.
281
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:27,425
- Oh, that's good.
Okay.
282
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,227
Meet me at the Steinway.
283
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:33,064
- I'm going to sing harmony
with Merv Griffin!
284
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,766
- Maybe I could sing
the high part.
285
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,235
- Stephanie,
this is a duet for guys.
286
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,537
Just Merv and me.
287
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,809
- I want to go back To my little grass shack
288
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:49,047
- In Kealakekua - Hawaii
289
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:51,849
I want to be with All the kanes and wahines
290
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,985
That I knew long ago
291
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,423
I can hear those Guitars a playin'
292
00:15:58,591 --> 00:15:59,490
- Playin'
293
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:01,459
- Playin' on the beach At Honaunau
294
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,027
- Ho-ho-hoedown
295
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:05,529
- I can hear The old Hawaiians saying
296
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:10,601
- Saying lu lui How ei kow e i
297
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:25,216
- George, it's almost midnight.
Aren't you going to bed?
298
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,852
- I'm determined
to sit right here until
299
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:31,322
L. Gardner comes in.
Care to join me?
300
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,224
- Aren't you being
a little bit silly?
301
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,194
- Oh, right. I guess we would
have bit more room
302
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,029
if we sat on the sofa.
303
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:43,567
- Listen!
You hear that?
304
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:45,103
It's him!
305
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:46,570
Or her.
How do I look?
306
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,239
- Fine, George.
307
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:52,410
- Gosh! He looks just like
Michael Harris.
308
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,313
- I am Michael Harris.
309
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,250
- Oh, for a minute there,
we thought you were L. Gardner.
310
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,185
- No, I'm only el shoe clerk.
311
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,493
But I could be L. Gardner
if the pesos are right.
312
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:10,528
- If you're looking
for Stephanie,
313
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:11,896
she's not back from
New York yet.
314
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,064
- Oh, yeah,
I didn't think so.
315
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:14,565
You know, now that I'm selling
clogs around the clock,
316
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,134
my lunch break is
midnight until one
317
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:17,468
and everything's closed.
318
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,405
Any French fries in the fryer
or fresh fruit in the fridge?
319
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:25,243
- I hate to hear myself
say this...
320
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,445
but I'm afraid I can find
a few frozen frankfurters
321
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,613
in the freezer in front of
the fettuccini Alfredo
322
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:30,781
from Friday.
323
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,056
- Stephanie, what are we doing
a week from Tuesday?
324
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:41,192
Brooke Astor
invited us to a soiree.
325
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,096
- Well, dear,
you've already committed us
326
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,598
to that yachting thing
with the Trumps.
327
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:54,372
- Darn! I hate to put
Brooke off like this.
328
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:58,242
- Oh, I'm sure your little
Brooke will understand.
329
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,380
- You're--
you're not upset, are you?
330
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:05,349
- Oh, why would I be upset,
Mr. Belle of the Ball?
331
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,954
- You're upset b-because
they like me?
332
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:12,256
- They only like you because
they don't know who you are.
333
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,657
If they knew the real you
like I do,
334
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,759
they wouldn't like you at all!
335
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:20,098
- Richard, come quickly.
336
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:23,801
We're toasting
the Murdocks' summer home.
337
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:26,670
- I don't want to miss this.
338
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:30,274
Rupert's imported some new
sconces for the billiard room.
339
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,443
- Thank God.
They've been waiting for months
340
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,044
for those sconces.
341
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,213
- Wow-wee!
342
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,315
- To the Murdocks' summer home!
343
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,349
- Cheers!
344
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,184
- And their new sconces.
345
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:50,161
- Well, Richard, seems that I
finally have you all to myself.
346
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:54,599
- Well, what, uh, what ha--
what happened to--to Scooter?
347
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,634
- Scooter's just a boy.
348
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,204
I want you, Richard.
349
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:05,143
- There's--there's a lot--
to be--to be said for boys.
350
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:09,113
Stephanie,
I was just looking for you.
351
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,516
- You're wasting your time,
Libby.
352
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,917
There's something
you should know about Richard.
353
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:14,952
He's not one of us.
354
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:17,288
He's just
a middle class innkeeper.
355
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,489
[ALL GASP]
356
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,193
[CHUCKLES]
357
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:27,031
- What a pitiful attempt
to grab attention!
358
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,034
- That's true!
He's an imposter.
359
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,403
He's as fake
as the nose on your face.
360
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,709
- This can't be. I've stayed
at his hotel in Bimini.
361
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:41,245
- He doesn't even know
where Bimini is.
362
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,581
- Tell me it isn't true,
Sir Richard.
363
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,684
- It isn't, Binky.
364
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:50,188
I'm...I'm pretty sure
I know where Bimini is.
365
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,597
Steph, uh,
Stephanie is right.
366
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,566
I'm just an innkeeper--
and--
367
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,067
[ALL GASP AGAIN]
368
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:04,702
She's--she's a maid.
369
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:11,509
- A maid!
370
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,378
Oh, my, my, my!
How delicious!
371
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:19,283
- Oh, if only
Noel Coward were here.
372
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,884
He'd make great sport of this.
373
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,824
- What--what are
you all laughing at?
374
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:29,560
I mean, I'm--I'm an innkeeper
and she's a maid.
375
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,397
Doesn't make any difference
whether you're rich or poor.
376
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,866
I mean when all--when all is
saidand done, we're...
377
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,569
we're all the same underneath.
378
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,748
Malcolm Forbes.
379
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:54,752
Henry Kissinger.
380
00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:58,956
Merv Griffin.
381
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:04,928
Well, there goes my doubles
match with Merv and the Gabors.
382
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:09,032
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
383
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,271
And there goes
Don Trump's helicopter.
384
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,108
Stephanie, I--I can't take
this silent treatment anymore.
385
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:19,543
Say something.
386
00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:23,414
- How could you humiliate me
387
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:26,417
in front of my friends
like that?
388
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:27,418
- What friends?
389
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,288
You--you said you hated
everybody in that room.
390
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,890
- That's because
I felt superior to them.
391
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:37,795
Now the only one
I'm superior to is you!
392
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:44,034
- If I embarrassed you...
I'm--I'm sorry.
393
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,506
- You're forgiven.
394
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:53,210
I know how easy it is to be
seduced by wealth and power.
395
00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:55,313
Some people can handle it
with grace and dignity
396
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,516
and others become
drooling idiots.
397
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:02,019
I'm sorry I brought you, Dick.
398
00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:07,491
- Apology accepted.
399
00:22:09,729 --> 00:22:11,595
Now, can--can we go inside?
400
00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:13,531
- I am never going back
in there.
401
00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:16,334
From now on, this balcony
will be our home.
402
00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:20,938
- I'm sure it's safe.
403
00:22:21,106 --> 00:22:23,541
E-everyone's left
e-except the cleaning crew.
404
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:27,345
- [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
Pobrecito Richard Loudon!
405
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,347
[LAUGHING]
406
00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:43,927
- What time is it?
407
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:45,830
- We fell asleep!
408
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:48,833
That's L. Gardner.
409
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:50,868
He...she's driving away!
410
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,703
Now's our chance.
- For what?
411
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:54,572
- If we cut through
Breyer's Field,
412
00:22:54,741 --> 00:22:57,575
we can head him or her off
at Johnnycake Ridge.
413
00:22:57,744 --> 00:22:58,976
- George, it's 7 in the morning.
414
00:22:59,144 --> 00:23:00,678
- Hurry up!
L's getting away!
415
00:23:00,847 --> 00:23:02,713
- This is the stupidest...
416
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:07,752
- Hello?
417
00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:11,522
Hello?
418
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,892
Does anybody
ever work in this town?
419
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:18,529
I should have just listened
to my travel agent
420
00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:20,564
and gone to Jamaica!
421
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:23,534
Some vacation!
422
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:28,105
[APPLAUSE]
423
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:36,781
- I want to go back To my little grass shack
424
00:23:36,949 --> 00:23:39,650
- In Kealakekua - Hawaii
425
00:23:39,819 --> 00:23:45,022
- Where the huma-huma-nooga Ah-poo-ah-go go swimming by
426
00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:46,757
Take it, Dick.
427
00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:51,829
- Where the ooo--oolie ow... Owwee appa-ooey
428
00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:54,331
Go swimming
429
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:55,933
- By-y-y-y-y
430
00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:59,102
[APPLAUSE]
431
00:24:01,707 --> 00:24:02,706
- Meow.
35139
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
