Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

- Stephanie, what are you doing?

- I'm dusting magazines, Joanna.

- Well, maybe when you're done here,

y-you'll want to dust the want ads.

- Hi-ho, Stratfordites.

What's upper, Cuppers?

- Dick won't let me read.

He's squelching my thirst for knowledge.

- For shame, Dick.

There's so much to be learned from Victoria Principal.

- Are you here for breakfast again?

- No time.

I've got to shuffle off to the shoe shop.

We're setting up for our "Buy a Thong for a Song" sale.

- Oh, Michael, I packed you a special lunch,

but don't think they'll all be as fancy.

- Yummers, Steph.

A cheese sandwich and a box of raisins.

- I unwrapped the cheese and everything.

- Well, that'll certainly cut down on your flossing time.

- You know, when I...

when I first got bumped from the station

and found myself floundering at the Circus of Shoes,

I thought for sure I'd get the cupcake kissoff.

- That's where the smart money was.

- Instead I got a kind word and a shoulder pad to cry on.

She's been just the support system

this occupational outcast needs.

- Get going, Michael, or you'll blow this job, too.

- Righty-o.

- Hello.

Can I...help you?

- No, thank you.

- Uh, feel free to... to wander around aimlessly.

- This place could use a good cleaning.

- What do you want from her?

The poor thing had to pack a lunch!

- Before you go, would you mind telling us who you were?

- I'm Madelyn Stone.

I used to live here in the '60s.

I worked for Mr. McMahon.

- Who's this McMahon man, ma'am?

- He, uh, he owned the Stratford back then.

He had to sell it after the-- the archery mishap.

- Oh, how he loved his high-powered crossbow.

Oh, how he loved his tequila shooters.

- What exactly did you do here...besides criticize?

- I was the maid!

Oh, the hours and hours I spent dusting.

Apparently I'm irreplaceable.

- Michael, say something!

- Oh, okay. Nice pumps.

Thanks for the cheddar, chiquita. Ciao.

- I'm Joanna Loudon, this is my husband Dick,

and this is our maid, Stephanie Vanderkellen.

- Why, where's your uniform?

- Pardon me, Hazel.

We've come a long way, baby.

- Since, uh, since you were here at the Stratford 25 years ago,

you must remember our handyman, George Utley.

- Oh, then he's still here!

I'll never forget those big bushy sideburns.

And the way his overalls

used to cling to that lean physique.

- That's... that's George all right.

- Madelyn?

- Hello, Brick.

- Brick?

- Is it really you?

- I've come back, Brick, with my answer...and it's yes.

- Wow! Did you hear that? She said yes!

Oh, happy day!

- What was the...question?

- On this very spot 25 years ago,

this strapping young buck

dropped to one knee and proposed.

- It--it took you a quarter of a century to come up with yes?

- Well, I didn't want to rush into anything.

After all, what does a young girl of 32 know about marriage?

- George, how come you never told us about this before?

- I didn't want to jinx it.

- Sorry I'm late. I overslept.

- That's okay, Stephanie.

- It was Michael's fault.

Last night, he rented Attack of the Puppet People

and afterwards, he was too terrified to sleep.

- I'm--I'm the same way with Benjie, the Hunted.

- He was so jittery,

I had to go over there to calm him down.

He swore he heard Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop in his closet.

- Here you go.

Just like I used to make every day for Mr. McMahon.

- Madelyn, you don't have to cook for us.

You're a guest.

- Oh, force of habit.

- Mmmm, did this every day, huh?

- Well, uh, thanks for taking over on such short notice,

but I'm sure the kitchen's a mess.

So I'll go clean up while you rest your old retired bones.

- That's not necessary. I clean as I go.

- [SIGHS] Well, good.

That leaves me more time to polish the silver

which next to scraping the oven is my favorite thing to do.

- [GIGGLES] Mine, too.

Let's go put some elbow grease into that silver.

- Whee!

Uh, Joanna, where's the silver polish?

- Ask Madelyn.

She was probably the last one to use it.

- 'Morning, Dick, Joanna.

- Hi, George. - Wow!

[SNIFFS] Madelyn made her pancakes!

This sure brings me back.

I could almost see Mr. McMahon himself looking up at me

from under this very table.

- I can uh, I can sprawl out on the floor if you want, George.

- No, it wouldn't be the same.

Besides, you only put syrup on your pancakes.

- What--what did Mr. McMahon put on his?

- Anything that caught fire.

Ah, those were the days.

Madelyn was the most beautiful girl in the county,

and I was her lean, mean, fixin' machine.

- I'm surprised you ever got any work done.

- Well, Mr. McMahon had a rule

about his employees fraternizing.

So at night we'd sneak out, hop in the old pickup

and drive over to that lake by Johnnycake Ridge.

- Ooooh, I heard that was quite the hot spot

for young lovers.

- Oh, yeah. Didn't we know it.

We'd sit in the truck and watch 'em neck for hours.

Then we'd go home.

- Sounds like you were crazy about each other.

- George, Madelyn doesn't really expect you

to marry her, does she?

- Of course she does.

She's been saving herself for me.

I just hope I have the stamina to survive the unleashing of

25 years of pent-up fantasies.

- George, do--do me a favor.

When--when you do your unleashing...

Wi-will you make sure the radio is on?

- George, you know you asked for her hand a long time ago.

You don't have to go through with this.

- Well, how would it look if I backed out now?

- You know, George, I-I think there's a statute of limitations

on marriage proposals.

- Well, maybe you're right, Dick.

You know, you're a lot easier to talk to than Mr. McMahon...

and you don't keep breaking into choruses of

"Show Me the Way to Go Home."

- [SIGHS] Oh, Brick.

You haven't forgotten how to show a girl a good time.

- Ah, it's nice when there's no line at the batting cage.

- You're such a sentimental old fool,

taking me up to Johnnycake Ridge.

When did it become the Johnnycake Cinema 20?

- About a year after the Johnnycake Mall went in.

- You know, this is not the first time

I've been to your room.

- It's not?

- I put you to bed the night Mr. McMahon made you eat

all those rum balls.

- I had to.

The safety was off on his crossbow.

- For 25 years, I've wondered what might have happened

if I'd stayed.

- Not much probably. I was pretty stewed.

- You're not stewed tonight... Brick.

- I have a... I have a confession to make.

- What is it?

- When you left the Stratford, I waited for you,

but after about eight years, I started to have my doubts.

- What are you trying to say?

- You wouldn't be the first to help buckle my overalls

in the morning.

- You...have a girlfriend?

- Oh, no.

No, it's just that I haven't been completely faithful.

- Oh, is that all?

[GIGGLES] Well, if it makes you feel any better,

I...dated a few men.

I even married.

- What?

- His name was Ed, but it was a fleeting relationship.

It only lasted 14 years.

- So I gather you buckled his overalls a few times.

- He didn't wear overalls.

- Oh, thank God!

- But Ed was nothing like you, George.

You're gentle and loving.

More like Roy.

- Roy?

- My second husband.

- How many husbands were there?

- Just the two...

but I needed those marriages to grow

and now that I have,

I know that you've always been the only man for me.

- What happened to that innocent maid I used to know?

- She wasn't ready,

but believe me, through both marriages

and a couple of meaningless six-to-eight-months stands,

all I thought about was you.

- You could have phoned!

- George, can't we let go of the past?

I mean, does it really matter that I have seven grandchildren?

- You're a grandmother?

- And I think you'll make a wonderful grandfather.

- Gee, I don't know, Maddy. This is a lot to take in.

- Well...if you want to call it off, I'll understand.

- Oh, no, I just need a little time to sort things out.

Starting tomorrow.

[RADIO PLAYING]

- Greetings, magna cum Loudons.

- Hi, Michael.

- Red Rover, Red Rover. Let Steffie come over.

[GIGGLES]

- Hi, Michael.

You'll have to unwrap the cheese yourself.

The old maid's trying to cook and clean her way into my job.

- No comprendo, Steffo.

Why would she want to stage a major kitchen coup?

- I don't know, but I'm scared.

She's been kissing up to Dick and Joanna like crazy.

- Well, she can pucker until she's tuckered,

but you'll never be kicked out

of the cockles of their corazones.

- Oh, Michael. I thought I heard you out here.

Last night I packed you a nice homemade lunch.

Cold pasta salad in a zippy pesto sauce,

chilled tomatoes and snap peas in a dilled vinaigrette

and flaky crescent rolls.

Oh, and a box of raisins.

- Hmpf, that's original.

- Wowsers! You did this all for me?

Uh, thanks.

I'm, uh, I'm more of a processed cheese man myself.

- It'll be in the fridge if you change your mind.

Well, I've got work to do.

- Not as much as I've got.

Bye, Michael.

- Well, as we blandly say in the shoe business,

have a nice day.

[WHISTLES]

- You seem pretty chipper, George.

- We don't need any locker room cracks, Dick.

Just because I'm chipper doesn't mean anything unusual

went on in my room last night.

- No. I just meant that you seem...hap-happy.

- Stop grilling me!

I'm over 21, you know.

- George, you're over 51.

- You wouldn't know it from last night.

- Pancakes, fresh off the griddle.

- I made some, too.

- Well, they-- they both look...delicious,

but since--since Madelyn's are closer...

- Can I get anyone anything

before I run upstairs and vacuum?

Juice? More coffee?

Another cigarette?

- Madelyn, why don't you sit down and join us.

Stephanie can do the upstairs.

- Joanna, I love this!

It brings back so many fond memories.

- Dibs on the vacuum!

- Excuse me, I have to see this.

- What about-- what about breakfast?

- I can always eat!

- Well, I'd better keep these warm.

I'm, uh, pretty good at keeping things warm.

- Dick, now that the girls are gone...

I've got this problem.

- Think about baseball, George.

- Okay.

Anyway, last night I told Madelyn

I needed time to think and then a funny thing happened.

- Was that during A Taste of Honey

or Wichita Lineman ?

- I don't remember.

Dick, she told me she had two husbands.

She said they were both mistakes,

and all the while, she was only thinking of me.

What should I do, Dick?

Should I still marry her?

- Well, uh, George, you obviously get along, and...

and you both like to, uh...uh...to...

to listen to the same music.

I don't know.

You know, you're not getting any younger, George.

Maybe it's time you started thinking about settling down.

- Fonzie never settled down.

- George, Fonzie was only in his late 40s.

- 'Afternoon, Madelyn.

- Brick!

- These are for you.

- Oh! - They're flowers.

- Thank you!

Oh!

Isn't that the suit you used to wear

to watch Bishop Fulton Sheen?

- Yeah. It's also the suit I wore

when I popped the question 25 years ago.

- Oh, Brick.

- Madelyn, back then,

we were just a couple of crazy, mixed-up kids.

Now, maybe we can do this right.

- Oh!

Oh! I can't believe this is happening.

I can feel my heart pounding!

- I may only be a simple handyman,

but I know with you by my side,

I'll be a simple handyman with a wife.

Will you marry me?

- Oh, Brick.

[SOBS] That was beautiful.

I think I'm going to cry.

- Help me up.

- You're taking my breath away.

I don't know what to say except,

I'll need some time to think about it.

- What?

- Seeing you again has brought back so many emotions.

The lust,

the passion, the doubts, the fears.

I--I don't know if I can answer this

with a simple yes or no.

- Well, why the hell not?

- This decision is too important to rush into.

- Well, this is getting silly.

- Please understand.

I don't want you to end up being another Ed or Roy or Phil.

- Who's Phil?

- Well, annulments aren't even worth talking about.

George, what we have is so special.

That's why when I marry you, it's going to be for keeps.

- Well, uh, how much time do you think you'll need?

- Well, not as much as before.

A week.

Ten years tops.

- Will you be marrying anyone else while you're thinking?

- [GIGGLES] Who can predict these things?

- Then this is goodbye again?

- George, spending this precious time with you

has been just about the most wonderful thing

to happen to me in a long, long time.

And last night...well,

whenever I hear "Blame It On the Bossa Nova,"

no matter who I'm with...

I'll think of you.

- So, you, uh, you took Madelyn to the station.

- Yeah, we missed her train by a few minutes,

but there was another one along pretty quick.

- George, I'm sorry about the way things turned out.

- Well, it was my own fault for driving too slow.

- No, George. George, not the train.

You know, that--that Madelyn... turned you down.

- Well, she didn't exactly turn me down, Dick.

She just needs a week to 10 years to mull things over.

There's a big difference.

- I-I suppose.

- Until then, I've got the best of both worlds.

I'll always know there's someone out there thinking of me,

and at the same time,

I don't have to curb my wild bachelor lifestyle.

- Some men aren't meant to be tamed, George.

- Ah, the Stratford innkeep with his Stratford upkeep.

- Hi, Michael.

- Here's your lunch, Michael.

Rock Cornish game hen, radicchio salad

with sundried tomatoes, a selection of imported cheeses

and a box of raisins.

- Thanks, Steph. I really don't...

- No time to talk.

I'm waxing behind the refrigerator.

- Well, I better go tell Stephanie

that Madelyn is gone.

[♪♪♪]

- Meow.