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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:04,103 [♪♪♪] 2 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:59,291 - Whoa! This lobby is laden with Loudons. 3 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,427 - Hi, Michael. 4 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:05,497 - Michael! I knew I smelled a dozen long-stemmed roses. 5 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,068 - What did you call those things again? 6 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,569 Roses? 7 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,337 - Joanna, I give you flowers. 8 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,640 - I wouldn't call a packet of Burpee seeds romantic. 9 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,078 - Boy, there is no pleasing. 10 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,446 - Anyway, this is my way of saying that 11 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:21,980 due to a pile of paperwork, 12 00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,283 I have to press the pause button on our lunch date. 13 00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:27,719 - Michael, you're a producer. Lunch is what you do. 14 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:31,623 - Try telling it to that tyrant Nancy. 15 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:34,693 She's turning the station into a sweatshop. 16 00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:36,628 - I thought the new station owner was a man. 17 00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:39,198 - He is. She's... she's the gofer. 18 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:43,001 - You're afraid of the office help? 19 00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:46,238 - Jiminy Cricket, Steph. She's bossy and she's whiney. 20 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,107 She complains about every little thing. 21 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,309 Thank goodness I have you to come home to. 22 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:53,645 - You've been blessed. 23 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,314 - Why don't you plop these posies in Perrier 24 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:57,483 while I jump on the blab wagon with Dick. 25 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:04,323 - Snip the ends, fill the vase, change water often. 26 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:07,626 Oh, Joanna, you're so lucky you never get flowers. 27 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,330 - I've been blessed, too. 28 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:15,000 - Dick, I don't know how to handle this gofer from hell. 29 00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:16,468 She's already trying to sabotage Vermont Today 30 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,404 by quibbling over next week's guest. 31 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,640 - You mean J.D. Salinger? 32 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,175 - Sure. I mean, that's who you'd be stuck with 33 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,177 if hipper heads hadn't prevailed. 34 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,013 - Who did I get, Michael? 35 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,448 - The Amazing Earl. 36 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,651 - Don't tell me... a fortune teller? 37 00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,753 - Pshaw, Joanna. Anyone can predict the future. 38 00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:39,258 The Amazing Earl predicts the past with 90% accuracy. 39 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,827 - There's, uh... there's got to be a trick. 40 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,531 - He was just a normal guy. 41 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,065 Last year, a brick fell on his head, 42 00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,900 and he predicted the Beatles would break up. 43 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,272 - Are you talking about The Amazing Earl? 44 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,673 Yesterday, at the town square, 45 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:59,278 he predicted we'd have a man on the moon by 1970. 46 00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:07,419 - Hi. I'm Larry. 47 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,554 This is my brother Darryl, 48 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,422 and this is my other brother, Darryl. 49 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,724 - "Can o' history"? 50 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:16,228 - We're collectin' artifacts for our time capsule. 51 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:17,629 Darryl here feels that George, 52 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:21,200 as a member of the town's oldest and nearly extinct family, 53 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:24,069 should be the first to contribute. 54 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:27,406 - Gee, I'm flattered, but I don't know what to donate. 55 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,741 - Don't you want to leave some kind of legacy, 56 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,477 or at least enjoy the secret thrill of knowing 57 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:35,414 that somethin' of yours is trapped underground? 58 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,786 - Kind of hard to turn down an offer like that, George. 59 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,488 - How about my hammer? 60 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:49,228 My dad gave it to me, and his dad got it at Sears. 61 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,762 - Sears. 62 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,163 - Here, Larry. 63 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,899 See if those future folk can keep up with a day in my life. 64 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,704 - Wow! Power breakfast, brunch, 65 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,440 late lunch, high tea, 66 00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,242 cocktails, dinner. 67 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,445 Well, no need for a Snickers to tide you over. 68 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,590 - Harris, I'm still waiting for those requisition forms. 69 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,859 - Nancy, let up! 70 00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,761 I realize this is your first job in television, 71 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,697 so let's review the chain of command. 72 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:30,269 You're a...a gofer which puts you right about here. 73 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:36,241 And I'm a producer which puts me right about here, 74 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,410 and it would take you roughly a bazillion promotions 75 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,345 just to look me in the belt. 76 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,114 - In the time it took you to say all that, 77 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,384 you could have done those requisitions. 78 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:51,790 Well, Paul and Bud. On another coffee break, boys? 79 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,792 - What if we are? 80 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,928 - I sure hope no one squeals to the new station owner. 81 00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,566 - I'm tellin' you, Mike, if it were up to me, 82 00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:04,403 she'd have a size 12 bootmark on her behind. 83 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,172 - Tell him what you did to people like that 84 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,740 in the service, Paul. 85 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,846 - You know, Mike, we can get rid of her. 86 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:16,682 I mean, just between you, me, the walls, and Bud, 87 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,684 who runs this station? 88 00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:22,187 - Well, natch, that would... that would be yours truly. 89 00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,556 - With us behind you, we could send that pushy pest packin' 90 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,058 and have her poundin' the pavement by the p.m. 91 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,029 - Perfectly put, Paul, but practical? 92 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,866 - She's not PIV material, Mike. 93 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,402 I wouldn't be surprised if she sleeps around. 94 00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,471 - The harlot! 95 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,207 - Strike while the iron is hot. 96 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,876 Oh, Sue, would you be so kind as to ask Mr. Gorski 97 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,778 to step into Mr. Harris's office? 98 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,280 Thank you. 99 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,316 Now, are we all together on this? Bud? 100 00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,518 - I hear she sleeps around. 101 00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:56,254 - Mike? 102 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:57,522 - Are you sure we shouldn't let this notion 103 00:05:58,359 --> 00:05:59,491 do one more lap around our noggins? 104 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,360 - [CHUCKLES] Pretty noble... 105 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,095 considering how she ragged on your last haircut. 106 00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,400 - She criticized my coif! 107 00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:12,637 - What is it, Michael? 108 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,474 - Mr. Gorski, we have a problem. 109 00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,308 I'm afraid that gofer's getting a little too big 110 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,711 for her Nancy pants. 111 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,946 - Hmmm, go on. 112 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,415 - Well, she's disruptive. 113 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,551 She's bossy, and as far as her taste in hairstyles... 114 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,287 - Michael says she sleeps around. 115 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,321 - Oh. 116 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:31,690 - Well, I'm afraid all my instincts cry, 117 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,658 nix this nudnick! 118 00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:38,363 - Well, I certainly admire your courage and conviction 119 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,098 to take a stand like this... 120 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:45,504 against my daughter who is my single purpose in living. 121 00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,338 - A beautiful girl. 122 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,708 - Precious. - Isn't she though? 123 00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:52,611 - And you've spoken your heart and I've listened. 124 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,579 Now get the hell out of here. 125 00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,351 - Good job, Mikey. 126 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,964 - Hi! - [APPLAUSE] 127 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,836 We're here to give you a time capsule update 128 00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:18,904 with a hearty thank you 129 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,973 for the generous donation of your penny loafers. 130 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,476 - Penny loafers? 131 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:27,546 You--you gave them my lucky shoes? 132 00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,714 - Honey, they were old and worn. 133 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:30,715 - Great. Now what am I supposed to wear 134 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:33,284 with my lucky socks? 135 00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:37,522 - Well, I made a sacrifice, too. I gave them my lavender scarf. 136 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:40,625 - The one I gave you for your birthday? 137 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,427 - Ooops! 138 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:46,898 I think I'll go upstairs and ram a spike through my tongue. 139 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,535 - You know, while Darryl was diggin', 140 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,505 he stumbled across quite a find which reminds me... 141 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,440 would you care to join us tonight 142 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,709 in a rousing game of Guess the Carcass? 143 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,878 It's more fun with teams. 144 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,448 - Well, you--you don't have to tell me. 145 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:05,951 - Miss Stephanie. 146 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,720 May I say that your artifact was the most popular, 147 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:09,888 at least with Darryl. 148 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,023 - Oh, Larry, of course you may. 149 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,627 - What, uh... what did you donate? 150 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:18,497 - An authentic, one-of-a-kind Stephanie Vanderkellen lip print 151 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,064 on tissue paper. 152 00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:22,300 - Come on, Darryl. 153 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,970 Let's go grease up for Guess the Carcass. 154 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,476 - Break out the congrats. 155 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,344 Nancy and I are no longer nose to nose 156 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,647 on the same grindstone. 157 00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,682 - Well, I'm surprised. I-I thought she'd last. 158 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:41,252 - Actually, Dick, she did. The ax fell right about here. 159 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,122 - Crawl back, Michael! 160 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,992 Crawl like you've never crawled before! 161 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,026 - No can do, Steph. 162 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,294 I bad-yacked the boss's youngling. 163 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,999 - Nan-Nancy is Gorski's daughter? 164 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,200 - Curse those executive loins of his. 165 00:08:58,104 --> 00:08:59,938 - Michael, you're upsetting the delicate balance 166 00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:03,207 between a high-income job and a showpiece girlfriend. 167 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,611 - Cupcake, I was at that dead-end job too long. 168 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,247 Stagnation may be all right for someone like Dick, but... 169 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,652 I need more upwardly in my mobile. 170 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,587 - I feel a worry wrinkle coming on. 171 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:16,922 - Unknit that brow, Steph. 172 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,356 This is just the jumpstart I need. 173 00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,692 In fact, tonight we celebrate my availability. 174 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:21,993 How about it, Dick? Open invite. 175 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,864 - Oh, I'm afraid I've got to grease up for Guess the Carcass. 176 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,671 - Well, Mr., uh, X... 177 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,841 Anyone who can type 20 words a minute 178 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,744 will always have a job in this town. 179 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,915 Now report to Rita in Job Placement 180 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,951 for your assignment. 181 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:52,924 Uh, Michael Harris? 182 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,526 - In the skin. 183 00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:56,962 - I'm Dotty Stansbury. 184 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,564 Now what sort of job are you looking for? 185 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:00,832 - Well, I'm not picky. 186 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,467 What do you have in the mucho moolah range 187 00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:03,835 with percs aplenty? 188 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,870 - No, I mean, what field are you in? 189 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,739 What skills do you have? 190 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,207 - I look incredible in earth tones. 191 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,610 [CHUCKLES] I can schmooze with the best, 192 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,144 and I'm the king of the countdown. 193 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:16,781 - Oooh, you must be in television. 194 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:17,983 - Bingus! 195 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,818 - Rita. 196 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,620 - Yes, Dotty. 197 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,655 - Mr. Harris is in television. - [GASP] 198 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,556 - Do we have anything for him? 199 00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,959 Something preferably in the mucho moolah range 200 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,161 with percs aplenty. 201 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:34,265 - What a lucky day! WPIV needs a producer. 202 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:40,939 It seems that their last one had sort of a psychotic episode. 203 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,376 He called the owner's daughter a nudnick! 204 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,146 Oh, fiddlesticks. 205 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,950 I just remember I sent that nice Mr. X over there. 206 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,818 Oh, I'm sorry. 207 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,922 Oh. Well, we have an opening for a waiter. 208 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,125 - Sorry, not my table. 209 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:03,094 - Oh, they need a checker at Meinke's Grocery. 210 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,697 - Excuse me, I don't see any blue in this collar. 211 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,803 - Hmmm, did you say you wanted something 212 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,237 in the mucho moolah range? 213 00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,839 - Welcome to my neighborhood. 214 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,875 - Where all your meals would be paid for, 215 00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,710 even those you eat at home? 216 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:19,778 - Company car? 217 00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:21,646 - Of course, and a house. 218 00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:24,849 - [EXCITEDLY] [CHUCKLES] Jinkies! 219 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,819 - And you'd have no responsibilities whatsoever. 220 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,187 - Sounds too good to be true. 221 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,855 - And why do you think that is? 222 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,291 - Because a lot of jobs don't come with houses? 223 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:38,029 - No, Mr. Harris, because I was making it up. 224 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:42,000 There is no job. - No job? 225 00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:45,970 - This employment agency only services the real world. 226 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:49,107 Now as far as I can see, you have no skills, 227 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:52,610 and you have only ridiculous expectations. 228 00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:53,812 I'm afraid in this town, 229 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:57,982 that makes you virtually unemployable. 230 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,897 - [DEJECTEDLY] Hi, everybody. 231 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,802 - Some-something wrong, George? 232 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:21,940 - Uh, my hammer. It's six feet under. 233 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,008 Gone forever. 234 00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,945 - George, you have other hammers. 235 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,213 - Yeah. 236 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,815 They're not the same as Old Blue. 237 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:36,354 - Old, uh...Old--Old Blue? 238 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,556 - Well, I have to call it something. 239 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:43,361 Sounds dumb to say you just miss a hammer. 240 00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,213 - Michael? 241 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,314 - Well, Dick. 242 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,349 [SIGHS] Page out of Ripley's. 243 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,918 [CHUCKLES] 244 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,922 What, uh, what are you doing here? 245 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,258 - Joanna buried my penny loafers. 246 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,127 So wh-what are you doing here? 247 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,962 - Why the third degree, Dick? 248 00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,065 - I just thought it was kind of odd, you know, 249 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,701 seeing you at a discount shoe store. 250 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,203 - Pfft, last time I checked, 251 00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:27,338 browsing for Buster Browns was still legal. 252 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:34,045 - All right, Harris. Break is over. Back to work. 253 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:40,185 - Michael, you-- you work here? 254 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,353 [SOBS] 255 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,291 - Promise you'll never tell another human being 256 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,292 you saw me here? 257 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,061 - Sure. - Blood buddy promise? 258 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,996 - Do you work here? - No, he does. 259 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,298 - A little louder, Dick. 260 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,566 There's someone across the street who didn't hear you! 261 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,203 - Good afternoon, madam. 262 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:01,572 May I show you something from our collection of fine vinyl? 263 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,544 - Steph's going to think I'm a failure! 264 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,481 - Michael, there's nothing wrong with working in a shoe store. 265 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,284 What--what are you? The manager? 266 00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,453 [SOBS] 267 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,258 - The, uh, the assistant manager? 268 00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:23,761 - My official title is junior apprentice shoe stocker. 269 00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:25,930 [SOBS] 270 00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:28,799 - You the new apprentice? 271 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,768 - No, that would be him. 272 00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,904 - So you're the guy that got my old job. 273 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,107 - Look, mister, if you need anyone to show you the ropes, 274 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,309 call on me. The name's Timmy. 275 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:42,113 [SOBS] 276 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:47,151 It's okay, mister. I cried, too, my first day. 277 00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,723 [CLEARS THROAT] 278 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,959 - Sit down, Dick. Pretend you're buying shoes. 279 00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,327 - I am buying shoes. 280 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,363 - Perfect! 281 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:06,905 Four days ago, I was Michael Harris, TV wonder kid. 282 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,172 Now look at me. 283 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,241 I'm touching people's feet! 284 00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,611 Wow, narrow dogs, Dick. 285 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:19,417 - Maybe, uh, maybe you'll learn something about yourself. 286 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,085 - Really, Dick, can't we crank the dimmer switch 287 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,788 on that bright side? 288 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,490 I want to be Michael Harris again! 289 00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,126 - You didn't stop being Michael Harris 290 00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:29,894 just because you lost your job. 291 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,496 - Wake up, Dick! I push pumps! 292 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,402 - Michael, you may have slipped a few rungs 293 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,071 on that ladder of success, 294 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,474 but you're still on... on that ladder. 295 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:44,809 The...the important thing is to-- 296 00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,011 to give it all you've got and-- 297 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,113 and take some pride in what you do. 298 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,081 - I don't know, Dick. 299 00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:52,383 Timmy left some pretty big shoes to fill. 300 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,921 - Timmy may be good, but you could be better. 301 00:15:57,090 --> 00:16:01,459 I mean, try selling shoes the Michael Harris way. 302 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:06,464 - Right! The Michael Harris way! 303 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:13,204 Here, Dick. Why don't you slip these on for size? 304 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,074 - Um, uh, Michael, Michael, 305 00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,108 they're... they're a little tight. 306 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:18,843 - [DESPERATELY] Please, please, Dick! 307 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,979 I need this sale bad! 308 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,085 - Maybe after a little breaking in 309 00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,119 th-they'll be all right. 310 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,854 - Well, you'll be sure to want to buy 311 00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,122 some of these shoe stretchers. 312 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,123 - Michael, I-I-- 313 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,292 - [PLEADING] Please, please, Dick! 314 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:38,029 Please! I need this sale bad! 315 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,000 Oh, thank you. 316 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,302 Thank you! I love this man so much. 317 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,208 - He'll be-- he'll be with you in a minute. 318 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,319 - Thank you, George. 319 00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,488 You're very good in an emergency. 320 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,257 - I never built an eyeshadow rack before. 321 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,495 Did I ever tell you about the time Old Blue and I... 322 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,563 - Yes, yes, George. 323 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,169 - Hi. Ready to gaze in wonder 324 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,471 at the remnants of simpler times? 325 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,608 - Larry, it's--it's only been a week. 326 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:28,879 A time capsule is supposed to be buried for...100 years. 327 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:32,350 - We had to open it early. Darryl put in a library book. 328 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:36,521 - Larry, isn't this silly? 329 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,956 I mean, things can hardly change in a week. 330 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:40,158 - Sure they can! 331 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,894 For starters, Michael isn't a TV producer anymore, 332 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:47,231 and our friend, that nice Mr. X, is. 333 00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:52,236 In comparison, time has been much kinder 334 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,139 to your lip print, Miss Stephanie. 335 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,474 - Raspberries in the Snow. 336 00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,210 I can't believe I ever wore that shade. 337 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,280 - Maybe not in these modern times, 338 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:05,216 but a more archaic Miss Stephanie did. 339 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:09,153 And here we have some kind of primitive pounding device. 340 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,788 - Oh boy! 341 00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:14,992 - Must feel good to see Old Blue again, huh, George? 342 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,461 - Really, Dick, now that I have it back, 343 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:20,064 it sounds kind of dumb to call a hammer Old Blue. 344 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,203 - Look, ancient footwear. 345 00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:29,673 Evidently worn by some early and narrow-footed townsperson. 346 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,676 - Thank God! With these new shoes, 347 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,179 I was starting to walk like Jerry Lewis. 348 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,651 - And my scarf? 349 00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:48,659 - Eck! What happened? Tomato sauce? 350 00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,361 - Yes, ma'am. 351 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,664 I'm afraid I packed it too close to Darryl's donation, 352 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,266 a Domino's pizza. 353 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,237 - Here, you keep it. 354 00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:02,740 In case you meet a nice girl...or something. 355 00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:05,543 - Uh-oh. 356 00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,346 It appears that someone has violated the sanctity 357 00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:11,115 of the time capsule for a quick snack. 358 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:14,318 Well, Darryl, just for that, there'll be no goin' 359 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,555 to the Fluff 'n Fold for those dryer rides. 360 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,236 - What's wrong, Stephanie? 361 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:35,105 - Oh, I was just remembering the good old days 362 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,175 when Michael had a job. 363 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,876 I miss bragging about him. 364 00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,648 - You know, he's still--still Michael, 365 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:48,886 whether he's a producer... or some--something lower. 366 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,293 - Hello, Steph. 367 00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:59,697 - Michael, why are you talking so...plain? 368 00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:01,699 What's wrong? 369 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,402 - Well, I'm uh, I'm a wee bit wary 370 00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:05,703 about telling you this, Steph. 371 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:09,106 - Oh, you can tell me anything. You know that. 372 00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:12,510 Now whatever it is, can it really be that bad? 373 00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:15,079 - I'm so lucky to have someone in my life so understanding. 374 00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:16,447 - Get to the point. - All right. 375 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,651 You tell her, Dick. 376 00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,152 - Uh, about what? 377 00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:23,521 - It was your idea. 378 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,323 - What was your idea? 379 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:30,228 - To te-tell Stephanie that... Michael is working in a-- 380 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,829 in a shoe store. 381 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,798 - Michael! - [SOBS] 382 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,267 I guess this is goodbye, Steph. 383 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:37,368 - Goodbye, Michael! 384 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:38,736 - Wait! 385 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,375 Wait, wait! Wait a minute! This is crazy! 386 00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:46,711 You--you can't break up with someone 387 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:48,112 just because they're-- 388 00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,180 they're working in a-a discount shoe store. 389 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,549 - Discount? 390 00:20:56,922 --> 00:21:00,524 - I thought of faking my own death, muffin. 391 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:03,294 Dick put jerky ideas in my head about being proud of myself, 392 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:04,762 no matter what I do! 393 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,498 - He would say something like that! 394 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:10,668 - Dick, do you always have to meddle 395 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,137 in other people's business? 396 00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,205 - I'm not--I'm not meddling. I mean, there's-- 397 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,708 there's nothing wrong with--with selling shoes. 398 00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:18,743 - Well, Dick, if you're through slapping 399 00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:21,279 a condemned sign on my heart, I'll be going. 400 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,347 - I'll miss you, Michael. - I'll miss you, too, Steph. 401 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:26,717 - Wait, wait! That's it? 402 00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:30,187 I mean...you-- you give up so easily? 403 00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:31,756 - Well, come on, Dick. I could never respect someone 404 00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,857 who dates a stockboy. 405 00:21:36,496 --> 00:21:38,228 - I mean, you've been going together for five years. 406 00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,498 You--you--you can't give up that easily. 407 00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,533 - What difference does it make how long we've been linked? 408 00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:45,503 I'm a...a shoe man! 409 00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:49,573 - Michael, wait. Don't go. 410 00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:52,643 I think Dick finally said something that makes sense. 411 00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:55,646 - Law of averages. 412 00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,684 - And it had something to do with us? 413 00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:03,387 - Yes. Bear with me for a minute. 414 00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,623 Doesn't this all remind you 415 00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:09,126 of that sappy Christmas movie you like so much? 416 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:10,861 - Silent Night, Deadly Night? 417 00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,164 - No. That other one, 418 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:17,501 where all those horrible things happened to that poor banker. 419 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:18,836 - It's a Wonderful Life . 420 00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:22,373 - That's it, and no matter how bad it got, 421 00:22:22,542 --> 00:22:25,609 that brave and lovely woman stood right by his side, 422 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,445 and in the end, all these people came over 423 00:22:27,613 --> 00:22:29,613 and gave them big piles of cash. 424 00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:32,616 - Yeah, I love that ending. 425 00:22:33,619 --> 00:22:35,486 Stephanie, are you saying you'd be willing to consider 426 00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:39,490 being the brave and lovely cupcake by my side? 427 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:42,426 - I think I could play that. 428 00:22:42,628 --> 00:22:43,927 You could be my Jimmy Stewart... 429 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:47,565 and I'll be your Michelle Pfeiffer. 430 00:22:50,102 --> 00:22:52,269 - Wasn't that Donna Reed? 431 00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:54,538 - Not in my version. 432 00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:56,407 - Then we still have a chance? 433 00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:59,243 - Lean on me, Michael. 434 00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:01,912 Somehow I'll find the strength to get us through these 435 00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:05,015 very troubled and hopefully temporary times. 436 00:23:06,352 --> 00:23:09,553 - Jeepers creepers, cuppers! It is a wonderful life! 437 00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:15,493 [APPLAUSE] 438 00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:24,502 - What--what is it they say? Whenever two dumbbells ring... 439 00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:28,406 An angel gets his wings? 440 00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:38,883 [♪♪♪] 441 00:24:04,710 --> 00:24:05,709 - Meow. 33977

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