Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,068 --> 00:00:04,069
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,658
[APPLAUSE]
3
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:04,629
- Hi. I'm Larry.
4
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:05,897
This is my brother Darryl,
5
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:08,400
and this is my other brother
Darryl.
6
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,335
- Hi, fellas.
What can we do for you?
7
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:11,370
- That depends.
8
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,372
How do you two
feel about the swamp?
9
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,443
- Well, we love it
as much as the next guy.
10
00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:20,345
- Then brace yourselves.
11
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,847
Some big-city developers
want to fill it in.
12
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,153
- Well, I'm sorry, Larry.
13
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:30,456
I know how much you three
enjoy that swamp,
14
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,524
especially during
mosquito season.
15
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,161
- That swamp holds
memories for us.
16
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,098
Darryl got his first kiss there.
17
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,699
Remember that bullfrog,
Darryl?
18
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,471
- Well,
there'll be other swamps,
19
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,806
other...frogs.
20
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,076
- We have a plan
to save this swamp.
21
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,712
With enough cash,
we can purchase it ourselves,
22
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,248
and we all know that
the best way to raise cash
23
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,749
is through a walkathon.
24
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,120
- Well, that's, uh,
that's the way
25
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:04,289
the major corporations
do it.
26
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,158
- Now a walkathon needs
two things:
27
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,359
People willing to walk
28
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:10,195
and people willing to pledge
a dollar a mile.
29
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,297
We're willing to walk.
30
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,133
- Well then,
then you're halfway there.
31
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,238
- Guys, we'd be happy
to sponsor you.
32
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,406
- Thanks.
We'll start walking now.
33
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:22,841
The swamp will survive!
34
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:27,312
When your grandkids want to play
slip-n-slide in some algae,
35
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,681
you won't have to take them
to a theme park.
36
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:35,887
[APPLAUSE]
37
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:42,093
- Well, it's only
a dollar a mile.
38
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,129
- Well, I guess it's worth it
just to see the smiles
39
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,298
on those algae-covered kids.
40
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:51,670
- Well,
it's that time of year again.
41
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,406
- The new phone books are out?
42
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:59,110
- That too?
Wow, when it rains, it pours.
43
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,445
- What are you talking about,
George?
44
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:01,580
- What do you think?
45
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:04,550
The Ye Olde Apple Days Festival.
46
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:09,288
It seems like only yesterday
when Great-great Grandpa Utley
47
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:13,258
hosted the first one
back in 1816.
48
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,327
- I-I heard that
Ye Olde Apple Days
49
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:16,761
is being discontinued.
50
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,463
- Who told you that?
51
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:19,464
- I-I'm not sure.
52
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,501
I just remember hearing
talk about ending it
53
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,770
because some people
found it excruciatingly...
54
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,506
uh, dull.
55
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,776
- Ye Olde Apple Days?
56
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,746
- Maybe-maybe I'm thinking
of the Ice Capades.
57
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,319
- Well, we're back
from the mall, all,
58
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:43,188
and we come bearing
a bounty of riches.
59
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:44,556
- Uh, the bounty is for us.
60
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,492
I don't know if Michael
made that clear.
61
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,728
- Hey, are you two going
to the town meeting tonight?
62
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,098
I'll be talking about
Ye Olde Apple Days.
63
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,099
- Oh, I'd love to, George,
64
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:55,267
but I think Steph and I
are going to stay in tonight
65
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,836
and take a finger trip through
the new Neiman's catalog.
66
00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:00,038
- Uh, Michael.
67
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:01,139
I want to go.
68
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,174
Don't you remember
the last town meeting?
69
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,277
- Yeah,
we sat in the back and...
70
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,246
made fun of what
everybody was wearing.
71
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:09,748
Wouldn't miss it, George.
72
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,750
- Great!
73
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:15,487
- And George, would you please
wear those bright green pants?
74
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,689
You know, the ones
that show off your ankles.
75
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:18,923
- Sure.
76
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,762
- And Dick, you can just wear
what you have on.
77
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:34,273
[MICHAEL CHUCKLES]
78
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,576
- Okay, all in favor of
Annette Gordon
79
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,378
being in charge of refreshments
80
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,880
for future town meetings,
raise your hand.
81
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,553
All opposed.
82
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:53,057
You're in.
The citizens have spoken.
83
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:58,363
- Boy, that certainly wasn't
the slugfest I expected.
84
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,802
- George, I believe you have
the next order of business.
85
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,840
[BOTH GIGGLE]
86
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:14,413
- Please hold your giggling
until everyone has spoken.
87
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:19,217
- Well, as everybody knows,
the Utley family
88
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:23,322
has been in charge of
organizing Ye Olde Apple Days.
89
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:24,889
[LOW MURMUR]
90
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,891
- Quiet down!
91
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,394
George, didn't we put a stop
to that thing?
92
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:30,696
- No!
93
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,365
- Make a note.
Let's put a stop to that thing.
94
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:38,236
- I thought everyone liked
Ye Olde Apple Days.
95
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,571
[CROWD MURMURING AGAIN]
96
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:48,447
- Maybe you should give
George some support.
97
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,482
- I-I think he's doing fine.
98
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,921
[GIGGLES]
99
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,461
- The chair recognizes
Dick Loudon.
100
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,300
- Uh, thank you.
101
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:13,772
I-I know this event isn't
as exciting as it used to be.
102
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:19,244
There is a certain
sameness to it year after...
103
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,813
year after year.
104
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:27,819
And it has lost some of its
appeal since the advent of...
105
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,020
radio.
106
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:34,760
- Wow, Dick, why don't you
just knife George in the back!
107
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:40,832
- Look, Ye Olde Apple Days
is a town tradition,
108
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,802
and I don't think
that we should give up on it.
109
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,538
If it isn't working,
we should fix it.
110
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:50,241
All it needs
are some new ideas.
111
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:52,477
- Do you have
any new ideas, Dick?
112
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,479
- Uh, no.
113
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,448
- So basically
you just like to hear
114
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,149
the sound of your own voice.
115
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,686
[MICHAEL GIGGLES]
116
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:06,057
- Maybe Michael has some ideas
if he's not too busy giggling.
117
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,233
- Michael,
everyone's staring at us.
118
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,468
Make them stop.
119
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,171
- What do you people want?
120
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:25,777
- Well, we all thought
that since you're hip, you could
121
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:30,549
help George with some new
ideas for Ye Olde Apple Days.
122
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:32,784
- Y-you all think I'm hip?
123
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:33,952
- The hippest.
124
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:38,356
- Well, I guess I could
spitball some ideas.
125
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:41,359
- Great! All in favor of
Michael spitballing,
126
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:42,561
raise your hand.
127
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,465
- Wow, it's a landslide!
128
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:55,807
- Hey, Dicksters.
129
00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:00,378
What do you think about
this idea for the apple fest?
130
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,714
Female applesauce wrestling.
131
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:09,888
- It's uh, a little tasteless
but delicious.
132
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:10,989
- Of course it's delish.
133
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,324
It sprung from
the Georgeman's gray cells.
134
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,293
- Hey, Michael,
I just got another idea.
135
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,662
Why don't we have kids
paint pictures of apples
136
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,565
and give a prize
for the best one?
137
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,934
- What a genius!
I could kiss you.
138
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,670
- You're a man.
139
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,041
- Well, that painting idea
is brilliant.
140
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,644
Which doesn't mean
we couldn't put a twist on it.
141
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:33,778
Whoa! Revelation.
142
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,680
Instead of little kids painting,
we get adults.
143
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:36,681
- How come?
144
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,583
- Well, little kids,
paint brushes, nostrils.
145
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:39,718
- Well, you're right.
146
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:43,321
No ceremony is worth
injuring children.
147
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,123
- And instead of canvases,
we paint the apples
148
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,992
directly onto
the applesauce wrestlers.
149
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,159
What do you think?
150
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:52,497
- That's a twisted idea
all right.
151
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,098
- It's just another
nugget of a notion
152
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,601
from the goldmine
of the Georgemonster.
153
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:01,406
- What do you think about
an apple sack race?
154
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:02,407
- Eureka! The motherlode!
155
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,342
I love it.
I wouldn't change a thing.
156
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:05,510
[PHONE RINGS]
157
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,579
All right.
First off, we 86 the sacks.
158
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:11,683
- Hello, Stratford Inn.
159
00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:12,951
- Hi. This is Larry.
160
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:14,753
Next to me is my brother,
Darryl...
161
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,656
and my other brother, Darryl.
162
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,492
- What, what can I do
for you guys?
163
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,929
- We thought you'd like
an update on our walkathon.
164
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,697
We're in Cheshire, Connecticut.
165
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:32,871
- You, you mean you've been
walking for four days?
166
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,439
- Not technically.
167
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:35,440
To break the monotony,
168
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:37,842
we hopped on one foot
through the Berkshires.
169
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,645
Darryl, don't eat that!
170
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,881
- At a dollar a mile,
I must owe...
171
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,618
where exactly is Cheshire?
172
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,019
- Uh-oh. Gotta go.
173
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,554
Darryl, how many times
do I have to tell you,
174
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,057
face away from the road
when you do that!
175
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,730
- Where is...
where's my atlas?
176
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,866
- Gee, I don't know, Michael.
177
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:05,570
A laser light show
sounds a little high tech.
178
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,740
- Georgie Porgie, puddin'
and pie, it was your idea!
179
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,843
- I thought my idea
was an apple sack race.
180
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,078
- That's what this is.
181
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,479
Now come on,
let's down some decaf
182
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,915
and flesh out your idea about
skinny dipping for apples.
183
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,018
- That was bobbing.
184
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,859
[PHONE RINGS]
185
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:32,998
- Hello.
186
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:37,802
Hello.
187
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:43,407
Da-Darryl, if that's you,
could you put Larry on, please?
188
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,214
Hi.
Hi, Larry.
189
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,983
Wh-where are you now?
190
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:55,120
- In a place called
the South Bronx
191
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,855
though the absence
of magnolia trees
192
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,957
makes me think
it's not the Deep South.
193
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,228
- You've gone another 100 miles.
194
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,397
When are you guys coming home?
We miss you!
195
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:11,002
- Actually, we almost
turned back this morning.
196
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,971
Darryl had this
blister on his foot.
197
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,106
Fortunately, it turned out
to be an extra toe
198
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,775
we'd never noticed before.
199
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,680
Darryl, don't buy that Rolex.
200
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,514
It's a knockoff.
I gotta go.
201
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,083
I'm losin' control
over these boys.
202
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:28,319
- They've got to be stopped!
203
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,193
Hi, George.
204
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,029
What, what are you doing
out so late?
205
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,764
- Just walking.
206
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,401
- Do, do I owe you money
for that?
207
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,073
- I don't think so.
208
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,240
- Good.
209
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:53,945
Uh, George, are you,
uh, are you all right?
210
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,180
- Not really.
211
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:59,084
You remember how Michael
called me a goldmine of ideas?
212
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,051
- Yeah.
213
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,654
- Well, he took the ideas
and gave me the shaft.
214
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,891
The Georgemonster
has been fired.
215
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:25,009
- George,
the new phone book's here.
216
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,279
You want me to
look up your name for you?
217
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,281
That usually cheers you up.
218
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,616
- Sure.
219
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,985
It's probably
under "U" for unhip.
220
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,088
- Now just because
Michael says you aren't hip
221
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,723
doesn't mean anything.
222
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,291
Well, you're just as hip as...
223
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,261
Dick.
224
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,396
- Whoa, half-price slipper sale.
225
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,267
- Thanks, Joanna.
226
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:56,507
- Hello, fellow citizens
of Appleopolis.
227
00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:58,843
- Michael, if you don't
tell them right away,
228
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,011
I'll burst!
229
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,913
- All right.
230
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:02,914
Prepare your accolades.
231
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,116
The apple fest is now
a Michael Harris production
232
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,151
in association with
233
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,753
Stephanie Vanderkellen
Enterprises.
234
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,856
- Michael made me
his co-producer!
235
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:15,226
- Exactly what
does a co-producer do?
236
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,262
- I welcome people.
237
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,398
I lie and tell them
how nice they look.
238
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:24,135
I smile demurely when
they tell me how nice I look.
239
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:28,273
- Great-great Grandpa Utley
never smiled demurely.
240
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:29,774
- Well, if you'll excuse me,
241
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,776
I have to go sit
in front of my makeup mirror
242
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,511
and practice sincerity.
243
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,917
I'll miss you all.
244
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,318
- Good start, Steph.
245
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,388
And while you're up there,
pick out a dress
246
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:47,192
that won't clash with
the ballroom at the Ramada.
247
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,027
- You're holding
Ye Olde Apple Days
248
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,029
at the Ramada Inn?
249
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,464
- No, we're holding
Apples Apples Apples there.
250
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,466
New name, new concept,
new zip!
251
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:58,369
- What kind of zip is that?
252
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,271
- Well, just your usual
singing, dancing,
253
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,406
multimedia spectacular
kind of zip.
254
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:06,010
- Great-great Grandpa Utley
would be shocked!
255
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,145
- Well, I've gotta run.
I'm meeting DeeDee,
256
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,180
the choreographer,
for a well drink.
257
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:14,953
- Wait a minute!
258
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:15,954
Where is it written
259
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:20,024
there can't be two
Ye Olde Apple Days festivals?
260
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:23,394
- I-I don't know, but I'm sure
I saw it somewhere, George.
261
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:28,066
- I'm going to hold my own
festival right here in the Inn,
262
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,400
where it should be.
263
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,103
Ye Olde Apple Days lives!
264
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:36,074
- Does...
does it have to live here?
265
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,416
- Well, I guess
this is everybody.
266
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,387
- George, I'm sorry.
267
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,388
- Oh, it figures.
268
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,991
Michael advertised
his show on TV.
269
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,893
I relied on word of mouth.
270
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,128
I wish you two had friends.
271
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,398
- Well, it--
it's still early.
272
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:04,002
I wouldn't mind waiting
a few more hours.
273
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:07,138
- Well, that wouldn't be fair
to the people who did show up.
274
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,073
Besides, we could have
just as much fun with three
275
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,742
as we can with 300.
276
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:15,346
- Yeah, it's just that with 300,
it doesn't seem so stupid.
277
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:19,918
- Well, I guess it's time
for my opening speech.
278
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,056
Quiet down, please.
279
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:35,466
Welcome to the 172nd
Ye Olde Apple Days festival.
280
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,903
I see a few
unfamiliar faces out there.
281
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,205
- George, why don't we just
skip the speech
282
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,207
and go right on
to the activities.
283
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,943
- Good idea.
284
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:49,814
Would a pie-eating contest
with three people seem stupid?
285
00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,216
- A pie-eating contest can be
held with any number of people
286
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:53,484
without looking stupid.
287
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,987
- Really? Okay. Then it will be
just you and Joanna.
288
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,155
I'll be the judge.
289
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:04,528
Contestants, take your seats.
290
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,532
Grab your forks.
291
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:09,968
Go!
292
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,456
- Willkommen,
bienvenue, welcome.
293
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,192
- What?
294
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:38,196
- Stephanie, I'm usually
not one to complain,
295
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:42,566
but these ticket prices...
$22.50 a person?
296
00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:46,037
- Well, obviously you've never
been to a Broadway show.
297
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:49,340
- No, but we did see the
movie version of The Music Man
298
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,142
starring Robert Preston.
299
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,743
- And Buddy Hackett.
300
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,680
Boy, that guy's
a national treasure.
301
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,184
- Jim, that was Stubby Kaye.
302
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,120
- You're crazy.
It was Buddy Hackett.
303
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,055
- I'm crazy?
You're the crazy one.
304
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,089
It was Stubby Kaye.
305
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,425
- Oh, you think
everybody is Stubby Kaye.
306
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:16,834
- Willkommen, bienvenue,
welcome.
307
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,002
- What?
308
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,338
- Oh, here!
309
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,444
- Ladies and gentlemen,
310
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,413
presenting
a Michael Harris production
311
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:29,414
in association with
312
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:32,517
Stephanie Vanderkellen
Enterprises.
313
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:35,686
[♪♪♪]
314
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:44,462
♪ Apples Apples ♪
315
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,331
♪ To sing their praises
We'll thrilled to the core ♪
316
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:51,001
♪ Ye Olde Apple Days
was a bore ♪
317
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:54,439
♪ Now Michael Harris
Has more in store ♪
318
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,607
♪ It's Apples ♪
319
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,676
♪ Apples ♪
320
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:02,080
♪ No other fruit we do
Has got such appeal ♪
321
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,881
♪ Baldwin Granny McIntosh ♪
322
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:05,583
♪ Every one is great by gosh ♪
323
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,486
♪ Rome Delicious Pippin too
Just efficient ♪
324
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:12,190
♪ Rip into an Apple ♪
325
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:15,126
♪ Apple ♪
326
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:18,463
♪ We just love
Ye Olde Apple Days ♪
327
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:25,936
♪ So this tradition is Michael's
rendition of Apples ♪
328
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,505
♪ Apples ♪
329
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:31,342
♪ Apples ♪
330
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:34,512
[APPLAUSE]
331
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,426
- Here you go, Dick.
Good luck!
332
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,167
- Is it an apple?
333
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:02,006
- Dick, you're supposed
to guess what kind!
334
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:04,942
- Um, McIntosh.
335
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,110
- Sorry.
336
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:08,212
- Damn!
337
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,318
- Here.
It's your turn, Joanna.
338
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,653
Good luck!
339
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:19,957
- Pippin?
340
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,926
- Yeah!
You really know your apples.
341
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:26,564
- Well, after you've eaten
four Pippin pies...
342
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:29,700
- This is your fifth ribbon.
343
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,202
- Oh, thanks, George.
344
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:33,604
Boy, I'm running out of room!
345
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,706
- Hey, it's apple-bobbing time.
346
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,675
I'll get the tub.
347
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,311
- Dick, he's getting the tub.
348
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,246
We have got to
put an end to this.
349
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,549
- Sure, now that
you're ahead five ribbons!
350
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:49,453
- Let's just tell George
351
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,690
it's impossible to have
a festival with three people.
352
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:55,793
- Hey, I think I could have
bobbed the pants off of you!
353
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,631
Uh, George.
354
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,067
Could-could we speak to you?
355
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:05,102
- I know what
you're going to say.
356
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:09,440
Ye Olde Apple Days
is a ye olde bomb.
357
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:11,942
- Well, I wouldn't
say "ye olde."
358
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:19,650
- Hey, are we too late
for apple keno?
359
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,320
- Can't you see the tub, Jim?
360
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,755
They're only up to
apple bobbing.
361
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,123
- What are you doing here?
362
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,658
- We walked out
of Michael's show.
363
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:29,860
It was awful!
364
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:32,129
- We didn't get to do anything!
365
00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:35,299
No spin the apple,
no apple limbo.
366
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,834
All we did
was sit and watch.
367
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:38,802
- Yeah, the worst part was
Michael strutting around
368
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,571
like some apple pimp.
369
00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:47,378
- Chester, what is that
on your cheek?
370
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:49,714
- Oh, dear!
371
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,983
Those laser beams
must have vaporized my eye!
372
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:56,854
- It looks like applesauce.
373
00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:00,824
- So it is.
374
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,493
- I told you
not to lean in so close
375
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,328
during the wrestling match.
376
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:09,233
- George, we're sorry
we abandoned you.
377
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:10,301
- Well, that's okay.
378
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:13,170
One of the seven tenets
of Ye Olde Apple Days
379
00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:14,538
is forgiveness.
380
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,540
- You're a good man, George.
381
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,409
- Oh, Steph, you were right.
382
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:20,244
They thought our show was over.
383
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:23,314
Okay, folks, let me explain
the concept of intermission.
384
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:28,719
- Michael, they left because
they didn't like your show.
385
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,788
- Didn't like my show?
386
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,023
- How'd they feel about
my demure smiling?
387
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,360
- They, they didn't say.
388
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:39,397
- They usually don't say
anything when they're pleased.
389
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:40,564
- How--how could they
prefer this
390
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:42,933
when my show had glitz,
glamour, production values?
391
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:45,869
- Michael, this isn't Las Vegas.
392
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,605
- It never will be as long as
people dunk their heads
393
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:49,473
in tubs of water.
394
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:52,743
- Well, you're welcome
to join the celebration.
395
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,378
- Well, thanks, George.
396
00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:56,681
I guess you know your audience
a little better than I do.
397
00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:58,349
- You must feel bad about
398
00:21:58,518 --> 00:22:00,851
everybody walking out
on your show.
399
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:02,886
- I'd feel worse
if we had a refund policy.
400
00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:08,158
- Have you ever bobbed
for apples?
401
00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:12,262
- No, but in college,
I-I did have my head dunked...
402
00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:13,464
but it wasn't in a tub.
403
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:17,435
And they,
they weren't apples.
404
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:21,572
- Could I, cupcake?
405
00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:23,541
- All right, as long as
you don't get your hair wet.
406
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:24,675
- I'll be careful.
407
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,811
[PHONE RINGS]
408
00:22:31,818 --> 00:22:34,251
- Hello.
- Hi. This is Larry.
409
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:35,353
Next to me is my--
410
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:36,620
- Where are you now?
411
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:38,723
- Graceland.
412
00:22:38,891 --> 00:22:40,491
Home of the king
of rock 'n roll.
413
00:22:42,795 --> 00:22:45,529
- Graceland. That's...
that's in Memphis.
414
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,865
- I know.
Our walkathon is completed.
415
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:49,834
Your pledge has provided us
with adequate funds
416
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:51,569
to purchase the swamp...
417
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:52,703
and with enough left over
418
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:55,740
to buy a 9 x 12
Colonel Tom Parker area rug.
419
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,912
- That's...
that's 1,400 miles.
420
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:06,484
- Gotta go. Darryl just won
an impromptu look-alike contest
421
00:23:06,652 --> 00:23:08,519
and we gotta help him
divvy up the babes.
422
00:23:13,025 --> 00:23:14,024
Bye!
423
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:24,802
- That's $1,400!
424
00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:34,177
[APPLAUSE]
425
00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:40,017
[♪♪♪]
426
00:24:05,845 --> 00:24:06,977
- Meow.
31556
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
