Original subtitles

Good morning, George.

Oh, good. You're finally up.

I'm thinking of doing something kinda nuts,

and I wanted to give you guys a chance to talk me out of it.

What is it?

Dick, Joanna,

I'm thinking of getting a pair of regular jeans.

I'd say go for it, George.

And the-- and the hell with what society is gonna think.

Thanks. I'm gonna do it.

Oh, just one more thing.

Should I get the ones with the zipper

or the button fly?

Uh, on that one, George, you're--

you're gonna have to follow your heart.

You know, honey, I think we're--

witnessing the end of an era here.

[ Sighs ]

-I'm a little sad in here. -[ Door closing ]

Zipper, George. Definitely zipper.

Hi, brunch bunch.

Is my birthday babe around?

Why does he always come up to our table?

Michael!

And one to grow on.

[ Giggling ]

Hi, Dick, Joanna, what can I get you?

How about French toast?

Me, uh-- me too.

Okay.

And you can get me

an unlimited supply of Misty Lilac nail polish,

a credit card holder, fully stocked...

We have copies of your birthday list.

Okay. But just remember,

there's only three shopping days left.

Steph's another year older and we're all deeper in debt.

[ Giggles ]

Sor-- Sorry, Steph.

Uh, Michael,

I need to talk to you about my birthday.

Now, don't take this as criticism,

but what you did

for the last three years was all wrong.

When have I failed you, my little fajita?

Michael, one birthday, you bought me a book.

Well, Stephanie, we just met.

For a while there, I thought you might be deep.

This year, I promise you a perfect birthday.

Oh, good.

Because, Michael,

I decided I want a nice big party.

Well, Steph, if it's a party you want

it's a party you'll get.

I'll send George out for decorations,

I can get Dick to put them up,

and I can get Joanna to whomp up a birthday feast.

Oh, Michael, you'd do all that for me?

[ Hissing ]

[ Hissing ]

How's it coming with the balloons, honey?

Kind of in and out.

You still don't know how to tie them off?

I know how to do it, I just--

I know how, I just can't do it.

George, you're wearing your regular jeans.

Pretty spiffy.

Thanks.

They were inspected and everything.

Number 21 did all right by me.

[ Chuckles ]

So you like them so far, George?

Yeah, except you have to think a lot more wearing these.

What-- what do-- what do you mean?

Well, for one thing, your shirt shows more,

so you gotta pay extra attention to that.

And then...

there's whether to wear a belt or trust your hips.

Jeans can, uh, complicate a life.

Uh, George, you wanna help me with the balloons?

Well, I was gonna go out and strut, but okay.

Hi, Dick, Joanna. Ooh la la, it's George.

Do I smell cake?

Nix that drool, handyman.

Where's Stephanie now?

She's out returning one of my gifts.

She didn't even open it. She just knew.

She's good.

Steph!

[ Sobs ]

Boy, one-- one of us-- must've really been flat.

Stephanie, what's wrong?

[ Sobbing ]

Don't worry, Stephanie.

I still have my overalls up in my room.

I-- I don't think that's it, George.

Steph, please stop.

I can't bear to see you cry.

Your eyes get all puffy and red.

Stephanie, just please try to calm down and tell us

what's bothering you.

[ Sobs ]

Well, I went shopping...

and I tried on some clothes.

And I looked in a mirror and realized...

[ Sobs ]

...I'm no longer blossoming.

Oh.

I don't get it, Dick.

I never minded getting older,

because... I just always kept looking better and better.

And better and better.

But... this year, I don't look better.

I've levelled off.

[ Sobs ]

Stephanie, you-- you haven't lost your looks.

Well, I know that, Dick.

But... if I keep getting older like this,

someday I will.

And then where will I be?

In a home for people whose arms do this?

Oh, don't cry for me, Stephantina.

I bet I can send those tears packing

right back to their little ducts

with just two words:

plastic surgery.

When the time comes,

you oughta be able to nip and tuck your way

to at least another 7, 8 years in my heart.

You-- you must really love her.

Stephanie, there's more to life and relationships than looks.

Really?

Really?

Michael,

will you still love me

when I don't look like this anymore?

Of course.

See?

Just-- just what would you look like?

Michael, if-- if you love Stephanie now,

you'll love her when she's 80, right?

Michael, I need to hear you say it.

No problem.

Steph...

Well, how many people live to be 80 anyway?

[ Laughs ]

What-- what I-- what I mean is, I'll-- I'll al-- I'll always...

Happy birthday, Steph.

[ Sobs ]

S--So, uh--

so what-- so what do you say we go down to that party?

[ Sobbing ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Blows out candle ]

[ Gasps ]

Oh, George, you scared me.

Gee, I hope I didn't give you any gray hairs.

Sorry.

It's okay.

George, are you here because you knew I was real depressed

and might want someone to talk to

and you have the perfect thing to say

to cheer me up?

Uh, not exactly.

I couldn't sleep, thinking about that cake.

Don't bother wishing on it. It doesn't work.

[ Sighs ]

This is the worst I've ever felt in my whole life.

You know, Stephanie,

I'm sort of older, and it's not so bad.

There are a lot of plusses. If you make it to 100,

that fat weather guy will announce your name on TV.

Getting older is easy for you.

-You can be George at any age. -Knock wood.

I am my looks.

I'm pretty.

Okay, I'm beautiful.

Dazzling people with my looks is all I do.

I'm a single threat, George.

And maybe,

when I lose my looks,

nobody will like me anymore.

Stephanie, you're not just pretty.

There's a lot more to you than that.

Really?

Sure.

Like what?

Well...

You're cute.

That's still looks, George.

You know how to avoid work better than anybody

I've ever seen.

And you like that about me?

No. Actually it's, uh, kind of annoying.

Uh...

I'm not really cheering you up, am I?

No.

Darn.

See, if-- if you'd said,

"No, but thanks anyway,"

I could've said you're polite.

See, that's the kind of thing I need to go on.

I know.

Well,

thanks anyway.

I don't think I can count that one.

Gee, I wish I could make you feel better, Stephanie.

Would it help if I sang?

Let's guess no.

Well, good night.

Morning, everybody.

George, what happened to your regular jeans?

Well, I took 'em for a trial walk

through town this morning,

and I realized they just weren't me.

I mean, if I can't feel my knee through my pocket,

there's something wrong with my pants.

I-- I guess I understand.

And it wasn't just that.

A lot of people in this town

aren't that used to designer labels.

I didn't really enjoy people squinting at my bottom.

[ Sighs ]

I-- I guess that's where we're different, George.

Well, I'll see you later.

[ Chuckles ]

Boy, it's a great feeling

not having to back out of a room.

[ Clears throat ]

Here's your pancakes, here's your juice,

here's your French toast.

Thank you, Stephanie.

How does everything... look?

Stephanie, you didn't--

you didn't forget something this morning like...

...grooming?

You noticed?

Well, um, sort-- sort of.

I just wanted to see if people would treat me differently

if I didn't look perfect like usual.

And you did. You were mean.

We-- we weren't mean.

We were just a-- a little up-- upset here, but...

now that we've had a-- a-- a time to adjust, um,

I-- I-- I think you-- you look,

uh...

Fine.

Really?

Well, uh, one-- one of us said it, didn't we?

Well, maybe aging isn't as bad as old people make it seem.

Honey, I know I don't say it often enough,

but... thanks for grooming.

Hi, uh-- hi all.

Michael, do you have any idea

what a horrible thing you did to Stephanie last night?

Look, y-- you don't have to tell me.

I know I've been a Dudley Do Wrong.

Now, I'm gonna make it up to Steph.

She's-- she's gonna be seeing a brand-new

Michael Harris today, I'll tell you that.

And-- and you're going to be seeing a brand--

You-- you'll see.

I want her to know even if her frosting gets stale, I'll--

I'll always love my cupcake.

That's-- that's from one of Shakespeare's sonnets, isn't it?

[ Clears throat ]

-Hi. -Hi, how you doin'?

Steph?

You fiends! What did you do to her?

Oh! No, Michael, it's just--

it's just the new me.

Or should I say the old me.

Whoa! Ghost of Steph Future.

Well,

could you live with this?

Dick, Joanna, if you need me

I'll be locked in my room for eternity.

Dick, you've got to talk to her.

Me?

But, honey, you're so good at making people feel better.

Remember when I thought

I was gonna get fired from my job?

You said just the right thing to cheer me up.

I-- I asked you to marry me.

Yeah, I got fired and I didn't even care.

All right, I'll do it, but I-- I hope I can come up

with something besides the-- that proposal thing.

Uh, Stephanie, sit-- sit down.

For, uh-- for starters, I didn't hear any creaking.

[ Laughs ]

[ Clears throat ]

Uh, Stephanie, I-- I know you've been--

you've been worried about-- about getting older and,

uh, everyone gets older and--

and there's nothing you can do about it.

Phew. I feel much better.

Joanna said I was good at this.

[ Sighing ]

Uh, Stephanie, you--

you wouldn't wanna marry me, would ya?

Hi. I'm Larry.

This is my brother Darryl,

and this is my other brother Darryl.

We was wonderin' if we could borrow some carbon paper.

Darryl here wants to try bangin' his fist on a table

in triplicate.

[ Clears throat ]

Hi, Miss Stephanie.

Hope you had a blissful birthday yesterday.

Did you get our birthday gift yet?

I don't think so, Larry.

Darryl, you and your overnight couriers.

Well, just so you won't have to wait any longer,

we'll go out and trap you an even bigger present.

Guys, why are you being so nice to me?

I think I speak for all of us when I say, "Huh?"

Haven't you noticed that I'm ugly?

Miss Stephanie, you could never be ugly to us. We like you.

Yeah, but...

will you like me when I'm...

old and gray and...

[ Crying ] sagging?

Well, how shallow do you think we are?

There's some depth beneath this glitz.

We know that beauty's only skin deep.

You take the weasel.

Ain't a prettier creature on earth.

But once you skin 'em, they look kinda,

well, if I may quote Mad Magazine ,

blecch.

But fortunately, underneath the beauty,

there's still a lot to recommend the skinned weasel.

Aside from the obvious gross-out appeal,

they're darned good eatin'.

Larry, are you saying that...

I have something underneath my obvious

and usually stunning beauty?

You bet your bob.

I mean, there's times when we've come over here

feelin' bluer than a whale,

and you would say something nice.

Not necessarily to us.

But still it cheer us up like nobody's business.

Really?

I do that for you?

Well, I could do that even with flappy arms.

Oh, thank you, Larry.

All of you.

[ Kisses, laughs ]

Oh, guys, here's the carbon paper.

I, uh-- I got four for ya.

Go for the record.

Oh, boy, thanks.

Oh, and, Miss Stephanie, remember,

when you're 80 or 90, you'll still have us as friends.

We like old people.

We enjoy playin'

What Do You See in the Wrinkles.

Bye, guys.

Steph-- Stephanie, you're-- you're better.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Clears throat ]

You, uh-- you thought about what I said, huh?

No, about what Larry said.

What-- what Larry said?

What did-- what did-- what did Larry say?

Well, I don't wanna get into all the details, but...

it had to do with skinning weasels.

I had that.

I-- I was-- I was gonna get to that.

Stephanie, I've gotta talk to you.

Me too.

Michael, I found out

I have qualities underneath my looks.

-That's great, Steph! -[ Chuckles ]

What are they?

Well, I'm not sure.

I think one of them is I can be nice and,

well, maybe we could find the other ones together.

You know, Steph, I think you're onto something here,

because I had an amazing revelation too.

Are you ready?

Steph, you're not the most beautiful girl in the world.

Michael, say something else fast.

Steph, don't you see?

You're still the only one for me.

Which means I must love you not only for your looks,

but for something besides your looks too.

What besides my looks?

Well, like you said, Steph, we'll find those.

You know what else, Michael?

I'm the only who has realized

that I'm not blossoming anymore.

So I won't actually have to be kind

or find those other traits

until other people start noticing I'm not blossoming.

And that won't be for years yet.

That's my Steph.

Forever and ever?

That's what we found out.

That I'll be able to love you no matter what you look like.

Oh, Michael.

Give me a hug.

Oh, wait a minute, Steph.

Let's go through this together.

Meet you back here in an hour looking perfect?

Deal.

Meow.