All language subtitles for Newhart S05E16

[ Wind howls ]

Well, thanks for calling.

That was the
Richardsons cancelling.

The storm forced them to stop

at the McKinnon
Resort Hotel and...

they wanted to give a quick call

before they headed down to the
heated pool and spa.

Well, it's a shame this blizzard
had to ruin their vacation.

Oh, boy, Dick.

It's a doozy out there.

I haven't seen
anything like this

since the big one of '66.

Or maybe it's more like the
blizzard of '71.

Wait a minute.

It's real close to
the hail balls

of the summer of '54.

Well, anyway,

this is definitely the
worst nor'easter...

Or is it a sou'wester?
Let's see...

[ Mumbling ]

Geor-- George, what's
the difference?

North or south?

Gee, Dick, good thing
you're an innkeeper,

'cause you'd make a lousy bird.

Don't feel bad, honey.
George didn't mean it.

Honey, I've been called a lot of
things in my life,

but never a bad bird.

Steph!

Do I know you?

It's me, your king of hearts!

Well, you look like my
boyfriend, but he said

he'd be here two hours ago.

Michael, you're trembling.

There's moisture on
your forehead.

You've been perspiring!

I can explain.

First get that off your brow.

Michael, I asked you over to
cuddle and see me

through the storm,

and so far all you've
done is be damp.

[ Gasps ]

Steph, I think our
relationship is strong enough

for me to tell you that your...

your white knight has a tiny
ding in his armor.

[ Nervous chuckle ]

Steph, I, uh... I-- I have
a fear of wind.

[ Gasps ]

Just kidding.

[ Nervous chuckle ]

[ Wind howls ]

Make it stop! Make it stop!

Michael!

Steph, it's not my fault.

It-- It started when I was a
little boy and--

and I tried to watch
The Wizard of Oz.

I never even made it past the
black and white part.

The moment that house
began to twitch,

I was outta there.

Michael, I don't want you to
have stuff wrong with you.

Steph, I think the...

the fear of wind is-- is
pretty common.

They even have, uh, workshops
for it and everything.

I mean, who else here has a...

fear of big winds?

See, Steph?

It affects one out of
every five people.

[ Wind howls ]

[ Gasps ]

Yep, it's a nor'easter.

Well, George, it's a clear,
beautiful morning, isn't it?

Yeah, I can't remember a morning

after a storm like
this since '76.

Of course, there was
that one in...

George... don't start.

Steph, you're mad at me.
I can tell.

Michael, I'm not mad.

I just didn't get much
sleep last night.

Oh, so, uh, the wind kept
you awake, too?

No, I could hear you whimpering.

Is that what that was?

I-- I wasn't whimpering,

I had a wheezy cough, like a...

[ Coughs, whimpers, coughs ]

You oughta-- oughta see a
doctor about that.

Steph, I'm gonna show you. I'm
gonna show you all.

Nothing scares Michael Harris.

I'm gonna go right out that door
and rent The Wizard of Oz.

Michael, do you mean it?

From first minute to last, from
good witch to bad.

Oh, Michael!

[ Chuckles ]

And I guess there's no way of...

talking you out of this, you...

you brave, impetuous kid.

Come on, Michael. We're off
to see the wizard.

[ Chuckles ]

Wait 'til you see the scene
where the flying monkeys

swoop down out of the sky.

Flying monkeys?

-Morning, George. -Morning.

-George. -Dick.

Just stopped by to let you
know we're having

a town meetin' tonight

to decide how to divvy up the
emergency storm fund.

Oh, well, thanks, guys.

The only damage here was, uh,
the door blew in.

Gee, Dick, that's
hardly an emergency.

Did it take out any chairs?

No. Just-- just the door,

and George has already fixed it.

It doesn't seem fair,

your asking for emergency funds

with your damage already fixed.

I'm not-- I'm not asking for
emergency funds.

Then, what are we doing here?

So any... anyone else
have any damage?

Well, about the only
damage we know of

was to the bell tower in
the town hall.

The bell tower?

A-yeah. Oh, you should
see the bell.

It's hanging by a thread.

Well, come on, Jim, we
better move along.

There might be people out there

with legitimate damage.

Wow.

My grandfather and I built
that bell tower

when I was six years old.

I didn't know that.

You know, I feel like
that bell tower

is part of my family.

Kinda crazy, huh, Dick?

That's not crazy, George.

I like to think it's Grandpa Ben

calling... every time I
hear it ring.

Georrrrge.

Georrrrge.

It's-- it's getting
borderline crazy, George.

That bell tower was built
by my grandfather

and maintained by my father.

I think it oughta be another
Utley that fixes it.

Well, let's see. Who--
who could we get?

Dick, could you let me
have some time off

to fix that bell tower?

Sure, George.

Great!

And I won't leave you
in the lurch.

While I'm gone,

I'm making you deputy handyman.

Gee, George, I only wish Joanna

could have been here
to see this.

Hi, Dick.

Here to get some money
for storm damage?

No, JJ, we-- we didn't have any.

How-- how about you?

Not from this storm.

I've got some damage from a
summer rainstorm, but...

what they don't know
won't hurt 'em, huh?

[ Chuckles ]

JJ, I-- I don't think it's right
to abuse emergency funds.

Fine.

Have it your way.

I'll just explain to
my neighbors

my house is a leaning eyesore,

thanks to Dick.

Before we get started,

Officer Shifflett would like
to say something.

I'm pleased to say that
during this snow alert,

there was only one
incident to report,

that being your basic
hit and run.

The snowballs did no
permanent damage,

but if my window
would've been down,

I might've lost an eye.

The perpetrator fled the scene,

but I followed his tracks

and spoke to his mother and
father directly.

Thank you, Officer Shifflett.

Example set, lesson learned,
case closed.

Before we deal with
individual claims,

let's decide who's gonna
repair the bell tower.

I open the floor to nominations.

Ah, it wouldn't look right if I
nominated myself, Dick.

Uh, I-- I nominate George Utley.

Thank you, Dick.

Are there any other nominations?

I nominate myself, Cal Lentley.

Wow. The gall of some people.

Well, if that's all
the nominees,

perhaps we'd better hear
from each of 'em.

I think everybody knows me here.

Cal Lentley, general contractor,

President of Cal Lentley
General Contracting.

I built a lot of things in town.

I'm good... and I want the work.

Thank you, Cal Lentley.

President of Cal Lentley
General Contracting.

George?

Er, uh, hi. I'm George Utley.

Everybody knows the kind of
work we Utleys do.

I mean,

it was my grandfather who built
that bell tower and...

I think I'd do a real good
job of fixing it.

Gee, George, what about
your job at the inn?

Oh, we've already taken
care of that.

Tell 'em, Dick.

Uh, G-- uh, George--
George made me--

made me dep-- deputy...

What?

George made me deputy handyman!

Excuse me, Cal Lentley...

Uh, it's true that an Utley
did build the tower,

but it's also true that it's
hanging by a thread.

Thank you. Cal Lentley.

Uh, wait a minute,

there-- there's been
some suggestion

that George wouldn't do a
good job, but I...

I think he will, and I think he
deserves a chance.

Dick Loudon.

George Utley's deputy handyman.

Enough said?

[ Murmurs ]

Gentlemen, gentlemen. Let's
let democracy decide.

All those in favor of Cal
Lentley say "Aye".

Aye.

All those in favor of the job

going to George Utley say "Aye".

Um, aye.

Sorry, George. Looks like
Cal edged you out.

Edged him out? It
was a massacre.

Pretty proud of your guy, huh,
Steph?

I sat through each
and every frame

of The Wizard of Oz.

Michael, you watched the entire
movie in fast forward.

Well, think of it, Steph.

It's tons scarier seeing
Kansas get creamed

in nanoseconds.

Michael, you're
afraid of the wind.

Just admit it.

Does it make you any less
appealing as a boyfriend?

Yes.

Can I live with it?

We'll see.

But, Steph.

Dick, I thought George
already fixed the door.

Uh, he did, but, uh, the hinge
is a little loose.

Oh, honey, please. Let
George fix it.

It'll make him feel better

knowing at least you still have
confidence in him.

Hon-- honey, it isn't a real
confidence builder

to tell someone they can't
tighten a hinge.

Hand me the other screwdriver,
will you?

[ Clears throat ]

[ Clears throat ]

One, two, three.

See, I was right. It's three
screwdrivers long. Pay up.

Last time I try and
second-guess you

on door widths.

[ Laughs ]

Give it up, you two.

I see through your
little playlet.

Uh... don't worry, Dick.

I wouldn't ask me to fix
the door either.

[ Sighs ]

I used to be so proud of
the work we Utleys

did on that bell tower.

I guess that's all gone
with the wind.

Well, at-- at least you can
still joke about it.

Huh?

You know what, George?

A big wind can knock
down anything.

I mean, God makes trees,

but when a storm comes along,
you know,

even He... loses a few.

But-- but you don't see Him
going around moping, do ya?

Well, at least God
doesn't have to deal

with Cal Lentley putting
his trees back up.

Cal starts work in the morning.

Uh, George, I wish there was
something we could do.

Well, I have everything we need.

We could sneak up to
the bell tower

and fix it tonight.

George, it's-- it--
it's a big job.

It's... it-- it's late, it's--
it's cold, it's--

it's-- it's crazy.

Then I'll have to do it myself.

No. No, you won't.

Where are you going?

Where else would I be going
this late at night?

To a dark, broken belfry.

Come on, Dick.

Let's prove to this town

that the name Utley still stands
for quality workmanship.

[ Gasps ]

Dick, don't worry.

We'll do the work and be out of
here in no time flat.

Wow, it's even worse
than I thought.

Well, we gave it our best try,
George.

Dick! Dick! We can't leave now.

I've got to restore my
family's reputation.

As what, breaking and
entering vandals?

Dick, you broke the lock.

Look, George, let's hurry. I can
give this eight hours,

not 10 to 20 years.

Right, Dick.

Boy, look at the view.

You can see New
Hampshire from here.

George!

Oh, you're right.

It is pretty, isn't it?

Sure is a sleepy little town.

[ Loud bong ]

Let's hope it's a real
sleepy little town.

All right, let's get rolling,
George.

Well, we're gonna have to put up
a new support beam for the bell.

Shh.

George.

Footsteps. Somebody's
coming up here.

Oh, no! Hide!

Yeah, they'll never
find us in here.

Well, then, just try and look as
though you belong here.

Yeah, I'll try to grow a hump.

Hi. I'm Larry.

This is my brother Darryl.

And this is my other
brother Darryl.

And we usually don't find
anyone up here

to introduce ourselves to.

What are you guys doing up here?

You heard the bell?

No. This is our secret spot.

Or at least it was 'til
you showed up.

Now, once word gets out,

this'll be the hottest
hang out in town.

I wouldn't worry about it,
Larry,

even if word does get out.

Good. 'Cause them bats are
a skittish bunch.

Bats?

Uh-huh.

Darryl's developed quite an
attachment to them.

They're a lot friendlier than
people give 'em credit for.

And a whole lot furrier.

You know,

they'll come right down
and visit you,

if you hold your arm out
just like this.

O-- okay, Larry.

JOANNA: Dick? George?

Joanna, what are you doing here?

Well, I couldn't sleep

knowing you guys were up here,

so I brought up some coffee
and sandwiches.

Mm. Mighty thoughtful.

Darryl usually feeds 'em field
mice and chicken wings.

But a change in cuisine could
get 'em in a real frenzy.

What are they talking about?

Honey, don't ask and keep your
arms at your side.

Dick, I heard on the radio

they're expecting another
storm to hit at dawn.

Oh, no.

More wind could take this
whole tower down.

Maybe you should come home.

George, she's making me.

STEPHANIE: Ew, Michael, ew.

MICHAEL: Come on, Steph.

[ Chuckles ]

There's nothing that
disgusting up here.

Oh, hi, guys.

You see? I told ya. Hot spot.

Joanna told Michael there was
another storm coming,

so he dragged me out
and brought me up

to this wind-scarred
pocket of doom.

Steph, I'm gonna show you
once and for all

that Michael Harris is one
tough hombre's hombre .

So you guys need a hand with
this wood stuff?

What's going on up here?

Some sort of Satanic ritual?

JJ, what are you doing here?

Well, between the parked cars

and the snow drifts
on the street,

I couldn't get through.

And I was on my way home to
watch a very special

episode of The Mod Squad .

JJ, we're here trying to fix
George's grandfather's

bell tower.

I think it's a little more
important than...

than an episode
of The Mod Squad .

Even a very special one.

Fine, Dick.

Now I'm gonna have to wait
through a whole

syndication cycle before I
get to see Linc cry.

Look, can we get at
least one nail in

before the other half of
the town shows up?

Are those sandwiches?

Help yourself, JJ.

And, uh, feel free to
hold your arm out.

All right, nobody move.

Nobody can.

Well, well, caught you
in the act, huh?

What are you doing?

Officer, I know we're not
supposed to be up here,

but I just had to fix this tower

before Cal Lentley gets
here in the morning.

Look, Cal Lentley won this
job fair and square.

Now, why don't you just slide
that power tool over here

real slow.

Officer, I just wanna say I'm up
here for the wind.

Look, this-- this means the
world to George.

Hasn't there ever been
anything in your life

that-- that you couldn't turn
your back on, that--

that you had to do no--
no matter what?

Uh-huh.

That's why I have to
take you in.

Keep talking, Dick.

Pretty soon we'll be
sucking cyanide.

That's all right,
Officer Shifflett.

If you give us a minute, we'll
collect our stuff and go.

Well, since you're gonna leave,

I guess I'll just look
the other way.

Thanks, officer.

But I'll be checking back here
after making my rounds,

and if they're all out
of jelly-filled,

it'll be sooner than you think.

G-- uh, George?

Aren't-- aren't you coming?

No, I just said that to get the
rest of you out of trouble.

If I don't finish this,
Cal Lentley will,

but thanks for trying to
help anyway, Dick.

George, did you thank me to
get me to stay?

Did it work?

And thanks to the rest of you,
too.

Come on, Darryl.

An opportunity to hold
nails in our mouths.

[ Wind howls ]

Okay, here's more
coffee and donuts.

Oh...

I can't believe that wind. It's
really kicking up.

Whoo!

Michael, you're still up here!

You really aren't
afraid of the wind!

I blew that myth to smithereens.

[ Chuckles ]

Steph, I stayed up here, and
I faced my fear.

The winds howled, and I didn't.

Oh, Michael, how did you do it?

Well, every time the wind blew,
I imagined

the Bullwinkle balloon at
the Macy's parade

sprang a leak.

I was sad, but never frightened.

I can live with that.

Now look, another gust of wind

could do more damage
to this tower

than even an Utley could fix.

All right everyone,

on the count of three we've got
to lift this beam into place.

One, two...

What's goin' on?

What-- what are you
two doing here?

We heard the bell.

And-- and it took you this
long to get here?

Well, we would've
been here sooner,

but we were watching
The Mod Squad.

Great.

There even would've been
someone to discuss

the episode with.

George, you're trying to
fix the bell tower?

I don't believe it.

An Utley breaking the law.

This is pretty serious.

Yeah, and somebody even
broke the lock.

That would-- that would--
that would be me.

Well, I'm sorry, but as mayor,

I can't overlook it when
people break the law.

It was all my fault, but I'd do
the same thing again.

That's how important this
tower is to me

and my family.

Well, I'm sorry, George, but
there's no question.

You still must be punished.

I'm going to have to assign you
to community service work.

And seeing how the only thing
in this community

needing work is this tower,

why don't you finish what
you started here?

You mean it?

A-yep.

Oh, boy!

[ Laughter ]

There's just one last
thing to decide:

Dick's punishment.

I, uh-- I understand.

A hundred dollar fine.

What?

Break the lock, break the law.

All right, everyone.

One, two, three.

[ Grunts ]

Now, get that, George.

[ Grunts ]

Now this tower should be safe.

[ Grunting continues ]

Oh, George!

You did it!

Oh, and look.

Here's my grandfather's
original plaque.

It's, uh, "Here stands the
town bell tower.

Built with care by Utley hands.

And dedicated on this date,

June 2nd, 1937.

May it stand forever."

Aw.

Aw, George, that's wonderful.

[ Applause ]

"Maximum occupancy:
three people."

[ Screaming,
panicked commotion ]

Just like it should be.

Meow.