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1
00:00:01,068 --> 00:00:04,102
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,057
( coughing )
3
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,026
- HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?
4
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,227
- I JUST CAME DOWN
TO GET A MAGAZINE.
5
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:04,429
- I COULD HAVE
BROUGHT IT TO YOU.
6
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,364
HONEY, YOU'RE SICK.
GO BACK UP TO BED.
7
00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:07,399
- I'M NOT SICK.
8
00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:09,533
I KEEP TELLING YOU,
I FEEL GREAT.
9
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,169
( coughing )
10
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:16,641
- YEAH, AND YOU'LL
SOUND GREAT TOO
11
00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:19,277
ONCE YOU'VE FINISHED
COUGHING UP LINDA BLAIR.
12
00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:23,381
HONEY, C'MON, DOC WYLIE
IS EXAMINING THE GUESTS.
13
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,116
HE'LL GET TO YOU
IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES.
14
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:26,184
- HE'S ONLY GONNA CONFIRM
15
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:28,619
WHAT I'VE BEEN
TELLING YOU ALL ALONG.
16
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:29,854
( sneezing )
17
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,257
I'M FINE.
18
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:34,692
( phone ringing )
19
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:39,230
- HELLO, STRATFORD INN.
20
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,698
OH, HI, MRS. VANDERKELLEN.
21
00:01:42,468 --> 00:01:44,569
IS STEPHANIE BUSY?
22
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,573
YOU'RE IN LUCK.
23
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:51,609
STEPHANIE,
IT'S YOUR MOTHER.
24
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,047
- HERE, I WAS DOING THE MANTEL.
25
00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:01,986
MOMMY, OH, I'M TERRIBLE.
26
00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,889
WELL, I'M SURROUNDED
BY SICK PEOPLE HERE.
27
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,057
AND YOU KNOW,
I DON'T EVEN LIKE BEING
28
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:08,526
ON THE SAME PLANET WITH MUCUS.
29
00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:13,798
SPEND THE WEEKEND WITH YOU?
30
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,034
OH, THAT SOUNDS NICE
31
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,102
AND, UNDER THE DISGUSTING
CIRCUMSTANCES,
32
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,739
I'M SURE
DICK WOULD NOT LET ME GO.
33
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:26,377
OH, DON'T SAY
THAT ABOUT HIM, MOMMY.
34
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:29,380
I'M NOT SAYING IT'S NOT TRUE,I'M SAYING IT'S NOT NICE.
35
00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:34,619
MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK LATER.
36
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:39,758
- OHA, HOST AND CUPCAKE.
37
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:40,792
- MICHAEL.
38
00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:44,696
- HOW'S YOUR DAY?
- BETTER NOW.
39
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:45,697
- NATCH.
40
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:47,966
DICK, GREAT NEWS.
41
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,934
THIS SUNDAY, YOUR GUEST
ON "VERMONT TODAY"
42
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:53,672
IS NONE OTHER THAN THE ONE,
THE ONLY, LIVE AND IN PERSON--
43
00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:56,140
- MICHAEL, WHO IS IT?
44
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:58,443
- THE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT.
45
00:02:58,478 --> 00:02:59,510
- YOU'RE KIDDING?
46
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,178
I WANTED HIM ON THE SHOW
SINCE WE STARTED
47
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,947
BUT YOU KEPT REFUSING
TO BOOK HIM.
48
00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:04,715
- WELL, DICK,
THE TIMING WASN'T RIGHT.
49
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,819
BUT THIS WEEK, THE WHISTLING
CHIPMUNKS FELL THROUGH
50
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:11,522
AND THE RUMBA KING
HAD A GROIN PULL.
51
00:03:11,557 --> 00:03:14,559
AND THE NEXT NAME
ON MY LIST WAS THE PREZ.
52
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:17,128
OH, AND I BROUGHT YOU
THE BRAIN'S BIO.
53
00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:19,130
OH, IT'S NOT HERE.
MUST BE IN THE TURBO Z.
54
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,865
I'LL BE BACK IN A FLASH.
55
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:21,933
MISS ME?
56
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,969
- UH-HUH.
- SAME HERE.
57
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:32,276
- WELL, I EXAMINED
YOUR SICK GUESTS AND YOUR WIFE.
58
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,145
AND THEY'RE FINE.
59
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:35,146
- REALLY?
60
00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,781
- YUP, APART FROM
HAVING THE MEASLES.
61
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,051
- MEASLES?
62
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:43,020
- THEN THEY AREN'T
REALLY FINE, ARE THEY?
63
00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:45,523
- IT CAN'T BE MEASLES.
JOANNA DOESN'T HAVE SPOTS.
64
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:46,724
- ONE OR TWO.
65
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,460
- WELL, I DON'T
WANT TO CATCH IT.
66
00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:52,463
ISN'T THERE A COLONY
YOU CAN PUT HER IN OR SOMETHING?
67
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:58,703
- NOW, NOW, MISS,
IN THIS DAY AND AGE,
68
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,072
YOU DON'T HAVE CAUSE
TO BE AFRAID OF THE MEASLES.
69
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:02,640
- MEASLES? YIKES.
70
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,543
- MICHAEL!
71
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:06,544
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
72
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,381
- STEPH, I CAN'T STAY,
IT'S GERMORAMA IN THERE.
73
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,182
- BUT YOU FORGOT YOUR BRIEFCASE.
74
00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:12,183
- KEEP IT.
75
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:13,184
IT'S PROBABLY
CRAWLING WITH MEASLES,
76
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,986
JUST WAITING TO JUMP
ON MY FACE.
77
00:04:15,988 --> 00:04:16,988
- MICHAEL.
78
00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:20,925
MICHAEL, WHAT ABOUT
THE BIO FOR THE SHOW?
79
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:25,663
- NOW THE IMPORTANT THING IS
TO KEEP 'EM IN BED
80
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:27,465
AND KEEP THE FEVERS DOWN.
81
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,634
YOU DON'T WANT TO RISK
ANY COMPLICATIONS.
82
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:33,238
IT'S ALL HERE IN THESE
INSTRUCTIONS ON PATIENT CARE.
83
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:38,843
WELL, I'LL STOP BY TOMORROW
FOR A SPOT CHECK, HA, HA, HA.
84
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:46,017
- DICK, HERE'S SOME INSTRUCTIONS
ON PATIENT CARE.
85
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:49,687
OH, NO.
86
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,123
IT'S ENOUGH
I HAVE TO SCRUB TOILETS.
87
00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:56,160
PLEASE, DON'T MAKE ME STOOP
TO TAKING CARE OF THE SICK.
88
00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:58,296
- HI, EVERYBODY.
WHAT'S NEW?
89
00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,897
- THIS INN
IS FULL OF PESTILENCE,
90
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,199
PEOPLE ARE DROPPING
LIKE FLIES
91
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,768
AND THE DOCTOR SAYS
THERE'S NOTHING HE CAN DO.
92
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,004
- WHOA.
93
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:09,073
A LOT CAN HAPPEN
WHILE YOU ROTATE YOUR TIRES.
94
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,310
- THAT'S JUST STEPHANIE'S
WAY OF SAYING
95
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:14,178
THERE ARE FIVE PEOPLE
WITH THE MEASLES.
96
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:17,248
- THAT'S THE WAY
I TOOK IT, DICK.
97
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,983
WHAT ELSE
COULD SHE HAVE MEANT?
98
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:22,687
BUT DON'T WORRY,
YOU CAN COUNT ON MY HELP
99
00:05:22,722 --> 00:05:24,122
THROUGH THE WHOLE CRISIS.
100
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,157
I'VE NEVER BEEN SICK
A DAY IN MY LIFE.
101
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,226
- OH, YOU MUST HAVE COME
FROM HEALTHY PARENTS.
102
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:30,061
- NO, DICK, THEY'RE DEAD.
103
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,601
- WELL, I GUESS WE BETTER
CANCEL ALL THE RESERVATIONS
104
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,269
AND CLOSE DOWN THE INN.
105
00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:40,038
IF WE DIVIDE UP THE LABOR,
I SEE NO REASON
106
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:43,374
WHY THREE HEALTHY PEOPLE
CAN'T HANDLE THIS.
107
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:46,677
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I HAVE A CHILD'S DISEASE.
108
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,616
RATS.
109
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:52,983
RATS!
110
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,154
MORE RATS!
111
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,089
- DO YOU HAVE TO GET
IN SUCH A TERRIBLE MOOD
112
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,190
WHEN YOU'RE SICK?
113
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,692
- NO. NOW SHUT UP.
114
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:04,963
DAMN.
115
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:08,933
I HAD THIS PILLOW JUST RIGHT.
NOW IT'S TOO HOT.
116
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,402
- HERE, DICK, TAKE MINE.
117
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:14,572
- JOANNA, I SWEAR, IF YOU
OFFER ME ONE MORE SACRIFICE,
118
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:16,641
I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.
119
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,210
- WILL YOU AT LEAST STOP
EATING YOUR HEART OUT
120
00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:20,478
OVER THAT BIO?
121
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,712
- I CAN'T.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT FAIR.
122
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:22,947
I DON'T EVEN GET TO INTERVIEW
123
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:26,083
THE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT.
124
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,253
SUMMA CUM LAUDE,
FULBRIGHT SCHOLAR.
125
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:31,789
EVERY MOMENT OF HIS LIFE,
ACTION-PACKED.
126
00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:35,760
- MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE YOUR MIND
OFF OF IT IF WE WATCH TV.
127
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:41,465
Announcer: ( on TV )
SLAM DUNK, MCHALE, 98-96,
128
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:44,002
THE CELTICS HAVE 0 FOR THEIR 2.
129
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,236
- THE CELTICS.
130
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:48,172
I THOUGHT THERE'D BE NOTHING ON
BUT A BUNCH OF SOAP OPERAS.
131
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:50,207
( gasping )
- THAT'S RIGHT.
132
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,113
Woman ( on TV ):
I THOUGHT YOU DIED IN
133
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,747
THAT ALASKAN HELICOPTER CRASH?
134
00:06:56,782 --> 00:07:00,350
Man: NO, CYNTHIA,THAT WAS MY SCHEMING LOOKALIKE .
135
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:02,554
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
136
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,155
- THIS WOMAN HAS BEEN POSING
AS CYNTHIA FOR TWO YEARS.
137
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:07,658
ANY DAY NOW, SHE'S GONNA
REVEAL HER TRUE IDENTITY.
138
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,227
I AM DYING TO KNOW
WHO SHE REALLY IS.
139
00:07:10,262 --> 00:07:13,164
- HONEY, THIS IS JUNK FOOD
FOR THE MIND.
140
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:14,232
LET'S TURN
THE BASKETBALL GAME ON.
141
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,599
THERE COULD BE A FIGHT.
142
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:18,669
( basketball playing
on television )
143
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:22,172
- I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT ME
TO BE SO SELF-SACRIFICING?
144
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:25,009
- THAT WASN'T ME,
THAT WAS MY SCHEMING LOOKALIKE.
145
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:28,479
( door closing )
146
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:34,519
- WELL, IT'S TIME
FOR EVERYBODY'S MEDICINE.
147
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:38,288
STEPHANIE, ARE YOU STILL
REARRANGING THOSE POSTCARDS?
148
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:41,992
YOU'VE BEEN DOING THAT
SINCE YESTERDAY AFTERNOON.
149
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:45,529
- YEAH, AND I'M ALMOST FINISHED.
150
00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:46,797
- WAIT A MINUTE.
151
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:50,234
IT SEEMS TO ME YOU COULD HAVE
FINISHED THAT BY THIS MORNING.
152
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:54,439
MAYBE EVEN LATE YESTERDAY.
153
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,141
I'VE BEEN DOING
ALL THIS WORK AROUND HERE
154
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,943
AND YOU'VE BEEN DOING NOTHING.
155
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,412
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
THESE PILLS UPSTAIRS?
156
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,547
- ALL RIGHT, GEORGE.
157
00:08:03,582 --> 00:08:05,016
YOU CAUGHT ME.
158
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,751
I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING
MY SHARE OF THE WORK.
159
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,186
AND I'M GOING TO
MAKE IT UP TO YOU,
160
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:12,589
STARTING WITH
NOT TAKING THAT TRAY.
161
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:14,191
- HUH?
162
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:19,196
- GEORGE, AFTER WHAT I'VE DONE,
WHY SHOULD I GET TO GO UPSTAIRS
163
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:25,536
AND BASK IN THE GRATITUDE
OF THE TEMPORARILY DISFIGURED?
164
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:30,274
VISITING, SOCIALIZING,
YES, EVEN LAUGHING,
165
00:08:30,309 --> 00:08:32,443
WHILE YOU'RE STUCK DOWN HERE
MANNING THE PHONE,
166
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:36,414
ALONE, UNAPPRECIATED,
FORGOTTEN.
167
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:40,752
- I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT.
168
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:44,288
MAYBE I'LL JUST TAKE
THESE PILLS UPSTAIRS MYSELF.
169
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,290
( phone ringing )
170
00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:48,726
- OH, NO,
IT'S STARTING ALREADY.
171
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:52,029
( phone ringing )
172
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:54,898
HELLO, STRATFORD INN.
173
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:57,034
OH, HI, MICHAEL.
174
00:08:57,069 --> 00:09:00,571
YOU CAN'T BELIEVE
HOW HARD I'M WORKING.
175
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:03,774
AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY,
"POOR STEPH"?
176
00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:05,276
THANK YOU.
177
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,678
WHAT?
178
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,513
YEAH, IT'S STILL HERE.
179
00:09:10,649 --> 00:09:12,449
MICHAEL,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME
180
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:13,884
IT'S IN A SIDE COMPARTMENT.
181
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,652
IF IT'S A CHECK BOOK,
I CAN FIND IT.
182
00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:21,259
ALL RIGHT, YOUR BALANCE IS...
183
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:24,528
$39.20?
184
00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:28,432
MICHAEL, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
DOING WITH YOUR MONEY?
185
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:31,002
OH, WELL, I'M WORTH IT.
186
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,572
YOU WANT TO TALK TO DICK?
187
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:40,011
BUT I'D HAVE TO GO UPSTAIRS
TO TELL HIM.
188
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:42,313
OKAY, I'LL DO IT,
189
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,949
FOR $39.20.
190
00:09:47,119 --> 00:09:50,521
- SAY, JOANNA, ISN'T THAT
SOAP OPERA YOU LIKE ON NOW?
191
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,022
- YES, GEORGE.
192
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:56,293
BUT SOME SELFISHNESS SEEMS TO BE
INTERFERING WITH THE SIGNAL.
193
00:09:56,328 --> 00:09:57,729
- THAT'S TOO BAD.
194
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:01,699
I HEAR THEY'RE GOING TO REVEAL
CYNTHIA'S TRUE IDENTITY TODAY.
195
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,203
- DICK, MICHAEL'S
ON THE PHONE.
196
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,404
Dick: STEPHANIE,AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE,
197
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,572
WOULD YOU CLEAR AWAY
THE LUNCH DISHES?
198
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,840
- NO, NO, DICK.
199
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,477
THAT'S MY JOB.
200
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:16,047
STEPHANIE'S NOT GONNA MAKE
A FOOL OUT OF ME AGAIN.
201
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,721
- MICHAEL?
202
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:28,459
YOU HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS?
WHAT IS IT?
203
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:31,496
REPLACING ME WAS EASIER
THAN YOU EVER DREAMED.
204
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:34,365
WHO DID YOU GET?
205
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:38,136
YOU'RE GOING AFTER
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER.
206
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:43,641
WHAT THE HELL HAS HE GOT TO TALK
TO A UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT ABOUT?
207
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:46,677
NOTHING,
BUT YOU CAN PROMOTE IT
208
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,812
AS "THE TERMINATOR
AND THE EDUCATOR."
209
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,951
MICHAEL, SCHWARZENEGGER
WILL NEVER DO THE SHOW.
210
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,821
YES, HE COULD PASS UP
A TITLE LIKE THAT.
211
00:10:57,857 --> 00:10:59,357
GOODBYE, MICHAEL.
212
00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:02,760
( soap opera on television )
213
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:05,196
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE CELTICS?
214
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:08,900
Woman: ALL RIGHT,I CONFESS, FOR TWO YEARS NOW
215
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:12,569
I'VE BEEN MASQUERADING AS YOURLOVING STEP AUNT CYNTHIA
216
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,238
BUT IT'S ALL BEEN A SHAM.
217
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,407
IN REALITY, I AM--
218
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:18,575
Announcer: ( on TV )
( indistinct ) MAXWELL.
219
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,043
AND THERE'S THE BUZZER.
220
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:21,912
IN ALL MY YEARSOF BROADCASTING,
221
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:25,549
THAT IS THE MOST INCREDIBLESHOT I'VE EVER WITNESSED.
222
00:11:25,584 --> 00:11:26,784
- WHAT?
223
00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:28,185
WHAT SHOT?
224
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,187
Announcer:
I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW THE REPLAY
225
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:30,387
BUT WE'RE OUT OF TIME.
226
00:11:30,422 --> 00:11:32,123
JOIN US AGAIN THURSDAYFOR THE CEL--
227
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:34,058
Woman:
THEN YOU FORGIVE ME?
228
00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:35,659
Man:
OF COURSE I DO,
229
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:38,262
NOW THAT YOU'VE TOLD MEYOUR TRUE IDENTITY.
230
00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:40,364
TO ME, YOU WILLALWAYS BE CYNTHIA
231
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,833
AND WE SHALL NEVERSPEAK OF THAT AGAIN .
232
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:53,077
- I HOPE YOUR SPOTS GET BIGGER
AND YOUR FACE EXPLODES.
233
00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:58,315
( music playing )
234
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,454
- TOUGH BREAK, STEPHANIE.
235
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:06,289
BUT DOC WYLIE ASKED ME
TO CHANGE THE SHEETS
236
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:09,360
ON ALL THE SICKROOM BEDS.
237
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:15,099
- OKAY, GEORGE,
BUT NOW YOU OWE ME.
238
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:21,372
- WHEN DID WE GET
ALL THESE STEPS?
239
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,274
Stephanie:
GEORGE,
240
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,574
YOU'RE NOT SICK TOO?
241
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,577
- I DON'T KNOW.
242
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,779
DOES BEING SICK MEAN
YOUR HEAD'S HOT,
243
00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:32,383
YOUR THROAT'S SORE AND YOUR LEGS
FEEL LIKE GINGER ALE?
244
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,885
- YES.
245
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,054
- GEE, I HAVEN'T FELT
THAT WELL SINCE THURSDAY.
246
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,824
- GEORGE, YOU OWE ME, REMEMBER?
247
00:12:40,859 --> 00:12:42,059
DON'T BE SICK.
248
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,694
- WELL, I'M THROUGH.
249
00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:45,997
( breathing heavily )
250
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:47,097
MAYBE NOT.
251
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:50,367
SAY "AGHH."
252
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:53,003
- HUH?
- THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.
253
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:55,105
YEAH, THAT'S THE MEASLES
ALL RIGHT.
254
00:12:55,140 --> 00:12:57,208
YOU GO AND LIE DOWN
IN AN UPSTAIRS ROOM
255
00:12:57,243 --> 00:13:00,311
WHERE THIS LITTLE LADY
CAN LOOK AFTER YOU.
256
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:01,378
- BOY, ARE YOU LUCKY?
257
00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:03,714
I ONLY HAD FIVE PEOPLE
TO TAKE CARE OF.
258
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,816
YOU'VE GOT SIX.
259
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,321
- UH, DOC WYLIE?
260
00:13:11,356 --> 00:13:12,322
- YEAH?
261
00:13:12,357 --> 00:13:15,159
( coughing )
262
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:17,027
- I'M SICK TOO.
263
00:13:18,163 --> 00:13:19,797
- YOU LOOK PERFECT TO ME.
264
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,999
- WELL, OF COURSE.
265
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,835
BUT I JUST KNOW
I'M GETTING MEASLES.
266
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,671
I'VE GOTTEN EVERYTHING ELSE
I'VE EVER WANTED.
267
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:31,608
- I'M SORRY.
268
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,211
THERE'S NOTHING MEDICALLY
WRONG WITH YOU.
269
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:37,148
- BUT I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF
A HOUSE FULL OF SICK PEOPLE.
270
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:38,782
- I SUPPOSE
YOU COULD USE A NURSE.
271
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,317
- GREAT.
WHERE CAN I GET ONE?
272
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,085
- YOU CAN'T.
AIN'T YOU HEARD?
273
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,355
THERE'S A MEASLES EPIDEMIC.
274
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,290
LOOKS TO ME
LIKE YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
275
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:56,467
( music playing )
276
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,670
Dick: STEPHANIE,I ASKED FOR ASPIRIN,
277
00:13:59,705 --> 00:14:02,039
NOT FLINTSTONE VITAMINS.
278
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:09,780
- I'M PRETTY SURE DOC WYLIE SAID
YOU CAN SUBSTITUTE TWO WILMAS.
279
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:12,783
( knocking on door )
280
00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:14,118
- STEPH!
281
00:14:14,153 --> 00:14:15,786
- MICHAEL.
282
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:19,257
IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
283
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,191
- SAME HERE.
284
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,628
LISTEN, STEPH, I NEED SOMETHING
FROM MY BRIEFCASE.
285
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:24,962
COULD YOU CHECK MY
"WEEK AT A GLANCE"
286
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:26,897
AND SEE WHAT TIME
MY MEETING IS ON TUESDAY?
287
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:30,334
- MICHAEL, YOU CARE MORE ABOUT
THAT STUPID, STUPID BRIEFCASE
288
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,535
THAN ME.
289
00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:34,805
- UNTRUE, STEPH.
THAT'S TUESDAY, THE 25TH.
290
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:36,774
- LET'S SEE.
291
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:40,410
BLOW DRYER,
BREATH SPRAY,
292
00:14:40,445 --> 00:14:42,546
SPANISH-ENGLISH DICTIONARY.
293
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,615
HERE'S YOUR "WEEK AT A GLANCE."
294
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:49,387
TUESDAY, THE 25TH.
295
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:53,490
YOUR MEETING'S AT 10:15
AND YOU'RE PLANNING TO SAY,
296
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:56,593
"GOOD MORNING,
CORPORATE CABALLEROS."
297
00:14:57,997 --> 00:14:59,930
- GREAT, THANKS.
BYE, STEPH.
298
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:01,565
- MICHAEL!
299
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,635
DON'T YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE
HELL I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH?
300
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,636
Michael:
SEE YOU AFTER THE EPIDEMIC.
301
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,010
Dick: STEPHANIE,WHERE IS THAT ASPIRIN?
302
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,678
- EUGH, EUGH, EUGH!
303
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:34,898
HELLO, MOMMY,
HOW ARE YOU?
304
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,233
HOW'S DADDY?
305
00:15:37,403 --> 00:15:38,902
ME?
306
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:41,772
I'M UP TO MY WAIST
IN USED TISSUES.
307
00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:45,876
WHAT?
308
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:47,611
SPEND A COUPLE OF DAYS WITH YOU?
309
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:49,146
MOMMY, WE'VE BEEN
ALL THROUGH THIS.
310
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:50,514
IT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION.
311
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,984
OKAY, HOW SOON CAN YOU
SEND THE CAR?
312
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,152
SEE YOU.
313
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:02,693
( music playing )
314
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,729
- IS THAT THE LAST LOZENGE?
315
00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:06,763
- YEAH.
316
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:10,233
DO YOU WANT IT?
317
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,335
- OH, NO, I FEEL FINE.
318
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,042
- YOU WANT IT, DON'T YOU?
319
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:20,911
- YOU NEED IT.
I DON'T.
320
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,814
( coughing )
321
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,752
- HI, DICK, JOANNA.
322
00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:30,921
JUST BRINGING YOU
A LITTLE SNACK.
323
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:35,392
- HI. LOOKS LIKE THERE'S ENOUGH
THERE FOR THREE DAYS.
324
00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:36,660
- YOU THINK SO?
325
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:41,431
Joanna: STEPHANIE, WHY ARE YOUALL DRESSED UP?
326
00:16:41,466 --> 00:16:42,800
- THIS?
327
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,434
THIS IS NOTHING.
328
00:16:44,469 --> 00:16:45,969
DON'T YOU KNOW THAT ONE OF
THE SYMPTOMS OF MEASLES
329
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,073
IS OVERRATING PEOPLE'S CLOTHES?
330
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:51,142
- IS THERE A BANANA IN THERE?
331
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,108
- THERE'S ONE LEFT.
332
00:16:55,113 --> 00:16:56,447
- GIVE IT TO JOANNA.
333
00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:57,481
- I DON'T WANT IT.
334
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,183
- SURE, YOU SAY THAT NOW
BUT IF I EAT IT,
335
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,885
YOU'LL START MAKING NOISES
LIKE A MONKEY.
336
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,322
- WELL, IF THERE'S
ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT,
337
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:10,226
YOU BETTER TELL ME NOW
BECAUSE, WELL, JUST BECAUSE.
338
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,429
- NO, STEPHANIE,
YOU'VE DONE SO MUCH.
339
00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,298
I JUST WISH I COULD HELP YOU.
340
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:17,000
IT ISN'T EASY TAKING CARE OF US
AND GEORGE AND THE GUESTS
341
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:20,170
ALL BY YOURSELF AND WE REALLYAPPRECIATE IT, RIGHT, DICK?
342
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,238
- YEAH, RIGHT.
343
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:23,307
I'M STILL WAITING
FOR MY ASPIRIN.
344
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:29,145
- AND I'LL JUST
LEAVE THIS HERE.
345
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:31,148
IT'LL KEEP FOR DAYS.
346
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:34,384
- ONCE AGAIN, WE REALIZE THE
SACRIFICES YOU'VE BEEN MAKING
347
00:17:34,419 --> 00:17:37,354
AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
HOW MUCH WE REALLY APPRECIATE--
348
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,589
- STOP IT!
349
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:40,824
I MEAN, THANK YOU.
350
00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:47,597
- STEPHANIE,
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
351
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:48,565
- WELL--
352
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,533
- HONEY, IT'S TIME
FOR "VERMONT TODAY."
353
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,468
I WANT TO SEE
WHO MICHAEL GOT TO HOST.
354
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,437
- OH, YEAH, ME TOO.
355
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:56,173
- WELL,
356
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,774
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES.
357
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:02,379
Announcer: ( on TV )
AND NOW VERMONT TODAY
STARRING DICK LOUDON.
358
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,748
SITTING IN FOR DICKTHIS AFTERNOON IS GUEST HOST,
359
00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:06,850
BINKY THE CLOWN.
360
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:10,587
- WHAT?
361
00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:11,988
- NOW, HONEY, DON'T GET UPSET.
362
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,857
MAYBE IT WON'T BE SO BAD.
363
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:17,460
Binky: HI, I'M BINKYAND GOSH AND GOLLY,
364
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:20,698
I'M SO HAPPY BECAUSEWE GET TO MEET THE PRESIDENT
365
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,867
OF THE UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT.
366
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,402
HI, MR. PRESIDENT .
367
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:26,436
( horn beeps )
368
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,206
- YOU'RE RIGHT, HONEY.
369
00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:30,574
THE FIRST THING YOU DO
WHEN YOU MEET A SCHOLAR
370
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,609
IS BEEP HIS NOSE.
371
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,347
( music playing )
372
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:48,058
- OH, NO,
I HAVE TO FIX THE DRAIN.
373
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:50,227
- GEORGE,
WHY AREN'T YOU IN BED?
374
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:53,830
- BED?
NO, I HAVE A LOT TO DO.
375
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:58,635
BESIDES, YOU SAID YOU'D
TEACH ME TO USE A WRENCH.
376
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,170
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
377
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:02,973
- OH, SURE.
I'D BETTER HURRY
378
00:19:03,008 --> 00:19:06,009
OR I'LL BE LATE
FOR THE PEP RALLY.
379
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,844
ARE YOU COMING, DAD?
380
00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:12,683
- OH, MY GOD,
YOU'RE BURNING UP.
381
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:14,051
YOU BETTER LIE DOWN.
382
00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:20,724
- DAD, ARE YOU MAD
'CAUSE I VARNISHED THE CAT?
383
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,994
- OF COURSE I'M NOT MAD.
384
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,363
- THEN HOW COME I'M GROUNDED?
385
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:31,135
- GEORGE, JUST LIE THERE
AND DON'T MOVE.
386
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,677
HELLO, IS DOC WYLIE THERE?
387
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:43,046
CAN YOU TELL HIM TO COME TO
THE STRATFORD INN RIGHT AWAY?
388
00:19:43,081 --> 00:19:44,515
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
HE HAS AN EMERGENCY?
389
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:46,283
THIS IS A BIGGER EMERGENCY.
390
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:47,951
IT AFFECTS ME.
391
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:52,656
WELL, TELL HIM TO GET HERE
AS SOON AS HE CAN.
392
00:19:55,994 --> 00:19:57,961
- 'SCUSE ME, ARE YOU
MISS VANDERKELLEN?
393
00:19:57,996 --> 00:19:59,362
- YES.
394
00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:01,966
- YOUR LIMO'S HERE.
ARE THESE YOUR BAGS?
395
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,567
- WHO IS IT, DAD?
396
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,835
IS THAT MY DATE?
397
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,978
GEE, THAT MUSIC'S PRETTY.
398
00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:18,782
- OH, PISH!
399
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:20,217
I'M NOT GOING.
400
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:21,218
LEAVE THE BAGS.
401
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:22,219
- BUT, MISS?
402
00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,021
- TELL MY PARENTS
I'M NOT COMING.
403
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,688
THANK YOU FOR MAKING
SUCH A LONG DRIVE
404
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,425
AND, BY THE WAY, YOU'VE BEEN
EXPOSED TO MEASLES.
405
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,962
- THANKS A LOT, DAD.
406
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:35,098
NOW I'LL HAVE TO GO STAG.
407
00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:40,303
- HERE, DRINK THIS.
408
00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:42,806
IT'LL BRING YOUR FEVER DOWN,
409
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:43,841
I HOPE.
410
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:07,097
- HEY, YOU'RE NOT DAD.
411
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:10,934
- GEORGE, YOU'RE GOING
TO BE ALL RIGHT.
412
00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:13,002
- SURE.
413
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:15,139
THANKS, MOM.
414
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:22,412
( music playing )
415
00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:31,888
- STEPHANIE?
416
00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:33,023
- SHH.
417
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,226
CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT GEORGE IS ASLEEP?
418
00:21:36,261 --> 00:21:37,694
HE WAS UP HALF THE NIGHT.
419
00:21:37,729 --> 00:21:39,429
- IS HE ALL RIGHT?
WHAT HAPPENED?
420
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:40,530
- DON'T WORRY.
HE'S FINE NOW.
421
00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:41,998
WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE?
422
00:21:42,033 --> 00:21:43,066
- WE WERE HUNGRY.
423
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:46,769
THE SALAMI LOST ITS FLAVOR
ON THE BEDPOST OVERNIGHT.
424
00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:50,073
- WE'RE FEELING
A LITTLE BETTER.
425
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:52,209
WE THOUGHT WE'D FIX
OUR OWN BREAKFAST.
426
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:53,143
- WELL, JUST BECAUSE
YOU'RE FEELING BETTER,
427
00:21:53,178 --> 00:21:54,311
DOESN'T MEAN YOU'VE RECOVERED.
428
00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:55,846
NOW GET BACK TO BED
AND I'LL BE UP IN A FEW MINUTES
429
00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:58,248
WITH A NICE HOT BREAKFAST
FOR EVERYBODY.
430
00:21:59,417 --> 00:22:01,284
- DICK, WE'RE HALLUCINATING.
431
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:05,956
- I HOPE TO GOD THAT EXPLAINS
BINKY THE CLOWN.
432
00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:14,431
- OH, GEEZ,
WHAT AM I DOING DOWN HERE?
433
00:22:14,466 --> 00:22:16,099
STEPHANIE!
434
00:22:16,134 --> 00:22:18,001
- HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
435
00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:20,938
- OH, FINE.
436
00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:24,575
I HAD THE STRANGEST DREAM.
437
00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:26,677
MY MOTHER WAS THERE,
438
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:29,145
MY FATHER WAS THERE
439
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:36,219
AND I WENT TO A PEP RALLY AND
THERE WAS THIS BEAUTIFUL ANGEL.
440
00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:39,155
- OH, GEORGE.
441
00:22:39,190 --> 00:22:40,924
THAT WAS ME.
442
00:22:42,628 --> 00:22:44,628
- NO, IT WAS A GUY
IN A CHAUFFEUR'S CAP
443
00:22:44,663 --> 00:22:46,496
CARRYING LUGGAGE.
444
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:51,367
- GO BACK TO SLEEP, GEORGE,
YOU'RE STILL DELIRIOUS.
445
00:22:57,242 --> 00:23:00,243
( theme music playing )
446
00:23:26,438 --> 00:23:27,537
- MEOW!
31869
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