Original subtitles

( theme music playing )

- THAT'S IT.

THEY'RE ALL COMING.

( playing drums on the dishes )

- I'M SORRY. HE'S JUST EXCITED

BECAUSE HE'S HAVING A REUNION WITH HIS COLLEGE JAZZ BAND.

- ALL FOUR JAZZTONES WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN

AFTER 25 YEARS.

( playing drums on the dishes )

- APPARENTLY, HE'S STILL EXCITED.

DICK, WILL THIS REUNION BE

A BUNCH OF GROWN MEN CARRYING ON LIKE COLLEGE KIDS?

- IF WE'RE LUCKY.

I KNOW, SOME OF THE WILDEST TIMES

I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE WERE WITH THE JAZZTONES.

ONE TIME, SHEIK AND I--

- SHEIK?

- YEAH. HE WAS A REAL LADY KILLER.

YOU KNOW, WHEN HE PLAYED HIS SAX AND DID HIS PELVIC THRUST,

WELL, HONEY, JUST REMEMBER

THAT YOU'RE MARRIED, OKAY?

- ANYWAY, ONE TIME, SHEIK AND I TOOK HOG--

Joanna: HOLD IT.

SOMEONE ACTUALLY LET YOU CALL HIM HOG?

- WELL, WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA CALL A GUY WHO, ON A BET,

SCARFED DOWN FIVE PIZZAS, A RACK OF RIBS,

TWO DOZEN DOUGHNUTS AND A BICYCLE SEAT?

- WHAT DID SHEIK AND HOG CALL YOU?

- SLATS.

- THERE MUST BE A ZANY STORY BEHIND THAT.

- WELL, I ALWAYS WANTED A NICKNAME AND WE,

YOU KNOW, WE JUST MADE THAT ONE UP.

BUT I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO TALK CRAZY,

OUR PIANO PLAYER WAS THE UNDISPUTED KING OF THE LOONS.

I MEAN, HE WAS A NATURAL LEADER OF MEN.

HE COULD GET A FOOD FIGHT STARTED AT THE VATICAN.

- I ALMOST DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU CALLED HIM.

- PHIL.

BUT HE WAS BEYOND NICKNAMES.

WAIT 'TIL YOU SEE HIS ENTRANCE.

HE MAY COME IN SWINGING ON A ROPE,

HE MAY COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY.

YOU MAY FIND HIM BUCK NAKED IN OUR SHOWER.

- DICK, ARE YOU STILL CLOSING THE INN NEXT WEEKEND

BECAUSE YOUR ANNOYING FRIENDS FROM COLLEGE ARE COMING?

- UH, YEAH.

- THEN I'M GOING TO GO TO BOSTON TO GET AWAY FROM THEM.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'LL STILL HAVE TO WAIT ON DICK'S FRIENDS.

- OH, POO.

- HI, ALL,

WITH AN EXTRA KISS, KISS TO ONE IN PARTICULAR.

- PLEASE LET IT BE ME.

- I WAS REFERRING TO MY WONDER WENCH.

- SAVE IT, MICHAEL. WE CAN'T GO TO BOSTON

AND I'M ABOUT AS DEPRESSED AS I GET.

- WOULD A FANCY LUNCH AND AN AFTERNOON OF COMPLIMENTS

CHEER YOU UP?

- YES.

- BOY, DO WE KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH CRISES?

AS LONG AS WE'RE TOGETHER,

YOU'LL NEVER CATCH US THROWING AWAY MONEY ON ANALYSIS.

- YEAH, YOU'RE THE MENTAL HEALTH POSTER KIDS.

- OH, DICK, UH, ONE THING BEFORE YOU GO.

I'M HAVING A SLIGHT NEGATIVE CASH FLOW PROBLEM.

COULD YOU SEE YOURSELF CLEAR TO MAKE ME LIQUID AGAIN?

- SURE, GO IN THE KITCHEN AND HOP IN THE BLENDER.

( laughing )

- NEED I EXPLAIN? I MEANT CASH.

- MICHAEL, I DON'T WANT TO LET MONEY

MESS UP THIS GREAT RELATIONSHIP THAT WE HAVE.

KISS, KISS.

- GEORGE. - HI, MICHAEL.

- GEORGE.

YOU AND I ARE CLOSE FRIENDS, AREN'T WE?

- NO.

I LIKE YOU BUT,

WE REALLY DON'T SPEND ENOUGH TIME TOGETHER

TO BE CONSIDERED CLOSE.

- YEAH. WELL, BUT WE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP, YOU AND I.

- NOT REALLY.

WE NEVER GO ANYWHERE TOGETHER.

WE DON'T HAVE A SINGLE THING IN COMMON.

- RIGHT.

AND YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO LEND ME $500 UNTIL NEXT WEEK?

- SURE.

- YOU WILL?

- WHY NOT? I TRUST YOU.

- GEORGE, I THINK YOU AND I ARE GOING TO BE GREAT FRIENDS.

- YOU MEAN, WE'LL HAVE LONG TALKS

AND GO PLACES TOGETHER?

- WELL, LET'S NOT O.D. ON EACH OTHER.

- HI, MICHAEL. - HI, GEORGE.

STEPH, YOUR BEAU IS HERE.

- UH, MICHAEL, UH, IT'S BEEN A WEEK

SINCE I LENT YOU THAT MONEY.

- HAS IT?

BOY, THIS WHOLE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM THING

IS A MIRACLE TO ME.

LISTEN, I WOULD HAVE HAD IT FOR YOU

BUT I GOT HIT WITH THIS KILLER RACQUET CLUB BILL.

- OH, OKAY. WELL, WHENEVER YOU HAVE IT.

- YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING, JUST NAME IT.

- WOULD YOU HELP ME MOVE THE PIANO AGAINST THE WALL?

- HEY, THAT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO.

- I'M HERE. - I'M READY.

- OH, HOLD ON, GEORGE, I'LL GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THAT.

- ARE YOU SURE, DICK? I'VE BEEN BURNED BEFORE.

- OH, EXCUSE ME, MAYBE YOU DIDN'T SEE THE SIGN OUTSIDE.

WE'RE CLOSED THIS WEEKEND.

Together: SLATS.

- HOG, SHEIK?

- UH, SHEIK, HOG.

( laughing )

- DIDN'T YOU RECOGNIZE US?

- OH, SURE, SURE.

YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST FOOLING AROUND.

( laughing )

- SAME OLD SLATS.

- YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT.

- WELL, YOU HAVEN'T EITHER.

- SLATS, I'VE LOST 120 POUNDS.

- EXCEPT FOR THAT.

- AND I'VE STARTED TO GET A LITTLE BALD SPOT ON TOP.

- REALLY?

- IS PHIL HERE YET?

- UH, NO. - OH, GREAT.

WE GOT HERE ON TIME FOR HIS ENTRANCE.

- HAVE YOU CHECKED THE SHOWER?

( laughing )

- HA, HA, HA.

HA, HA, HA.

- OH, THIS...

THIS IS MY FRIEND AND HANDYMAN, GEORGE.

GEORGE, THIS IS AL "SHEIK" FRASER

AND THIS IS WALTER "HOG" AMBROSE.

- OH, I HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU GUYS.

DICK SAID WHEN YOU WERE TOGETHER,

A MINUTE NEVER WENT BY WITHOUT SOMETHING CRAZY HAPPENING.

- WELL, I GUESS WE'D BETTER GET THE REST OF OUR LUGGAGE.

- OH, THAT'S OKAY. I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

SO FAR, THEY'VE BEEN A LETDOWN, DICK.

- HI. - OH, THIS IS MY WIFE, JOANNA.

HERE THEY ARE, SHEIK AND HOG.

- NICE TRY, DICK.

HI, HOG.

HI, SHEIK.

DICK TOLD ME YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS FOOLING AROUND LIKE THIS.

- NO, REALLY, I'M SHEIK.

HE'S HOG. - OH, STOP.

- HONEY, WE'RE-- WE'RE NOT KIDDING.

- OH. SORRY.

- WELL, HAVE I GOT A WEEKEND PLANNED.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FIRST?

EAT, DRINK OR SWING FROM THE RAFTERS?

- I'D LIKE TO TAKE A NAP.

- OOH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

( laughing )

- YOU'RE SERIOUS?

WELL, SURE, SURE, YOU HAVE TO GET SOME REST,

BUT BE DOWN HERE FOR DINNER

BECAUSE WE'RE COOKING UP A REAL GUT BUSTER.

- OH, YEAH, WELL, THAT REMINDS ME.

HERE IS A LIST OF MY DIETARY REQUIREMENTS.

I CAN'T EAT ANYTHING THAT'S DIFFICULT TO DIGEST.

- I'LL SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOMS.

- WELL, I HOPE THERE'S A PHONE IN MINE.

I GOT TO CALL MY WIFE.

- OH, TELL ME ABOUT THE MISSUS.

SHE MUST BE SOME KNOCKOUT TO HAVE CORRALLED THE SHEIK.

- OH, NOT NOW, SLATS.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL HER 10 MINUTES AGO.

I GOTTA HURRY BEFORE THE GRACE PERIOD ENDS.

- MY, ARE THEY A--

ARE THEY A COUPLE OF CRAZY NUT BUCKETS OR WHAT?

( laughing )

- MICHAEL, BE CAREFUL.

- HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.

- OH, UH.

- WHAT'S IN HERE, ANYWAY?

- IT'S A BRAND NEW COLOR TV

WITH REMOTE CONTROL AND STEREO SOUND.

MICHAEL BOUGHT IT FOR ME.

- OH. OH, HE DID.

WELL, GEE, IT MUST BE YOUR BIRTHDAY OR SOMETHING.

- NO, HE BOUGHT IT FOR MY FAVORITE REASON,

BECAUSE I SAW IT AND WENT "OOOH."

GEORGE, WILL YOU HOOK IT UP TO THE ANTENNA FOR ME?

- SWEET KNEES, LET'S NOT IMPOSE ON GEORGE NOW.

HE CAN HOOK IT UP TOMORROW.

- ISN'T HE CONSIDERATE?

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING, GEORGE?

- UP TO MY ROOM,

TO WATCH MY OLD FUZZY BLACK AND WHITE MONO TV

WITH NO REMOTE CONTROL.

- KIND OF A CYNICAL OLD GUY, ISN'T HE?

- WELL, SLATS, THAT WAS A TERRIFIC MEAL.

- YEAH, MY SPECIAL DIET SURE DIDN'T CRAMP JOANNA'S COOKING.

- YEAH, JOANNA COULD ALWAYS MAKE UP

A MEAN PLATTER OF RICE AND STRAINED PEARS.

- IT'S TOO BAD IT'S NOT SITTING TOO WELL.

I THINK I OVERDID IT ON THE MILK.

- YEAH, I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING.

REMEMBER THE TIME THAT PHIL RODE THE SWIVEL CHAIR--

- WHAT ARE THOSE THERE?

- ANTRAPONE, STOMACH RELAXER.

- DID YOU EVER TRY DIAZEDINE?

I USE IT FOR MY BACK SPASMS.

- SURE, I ALWAYS CARRY SOME.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY GOOD?

- GUYS, WHY DON'T WE JUST SET OUT A BUFFET?

C'MON, GUYS,

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN THESE DAYS?

( laughing ) - YOU KNOW,

I'VE GOTTEN INTO SOMETHING A LITTLE CRAZY.

- YEAH?

- MODEL RAILROADING.

YOU HAVE THESE LITTLE BUILDINGS AND TREES,

EVEN TINY PEOPLE, AND IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL,

THAT TRAIN CAN GO FLYING OFF THAT TRACK

AND DOING A WHOLE MESS OF DAMAGE.

- THAT'S A-- THAT'S A BIG RESPONSIBILITY.

- WELL, I TRIED A BUNCH OF HOME HOBBIES

AND THEN I FELT I NEEDED SOMETHING MORE.

SOMETHING TO GET ME OUT OF THE HOUSE AND INTO THE WORLD.

- ALRIGHT, SHEIK.

- SO I JOINED A GARDENING CLUB.

- OH, THIS WAS FUN.

WELL, THE ONLY THING THAT CAN TOP THIS

IS TO PLAY SOME MUSIC.

- BUT PHIL'S NOT HERE YET.

- YEAH, BUT HE WILL BE

AND IF HE WALKS THROUGH THAT DOOR NAKED,

HE'S GONNA WANT SOMETHING TO DANCE TO.

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GIVE IT A GO.

( drums )

- OH, GOOD.

I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR YOU GUYS PLAY.

DICK WAS ALWAYS TELLING ME HOW GREAT THE BAND WAS.

( jazz music, out of tune )

- MY BACK! Joanna: OH, DEAR.

- SHEIK! - OH, HERE.

- FIRST MY STOMACH, NOW SHEIK'S BACK.

THIS CRAZY WEEKEND OF YOURS IS GONNA KILL US.

- I'LL BE OKAY.

- OH, OKAY, THAT'S IT,

I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHAT'S KEEPING PHIL.

IT'S STILL EARLY ON THE COAST.

MAYBE HIS OFFICE KNOWS WHERE HE IS.

Sheik: I'LL BE OKAY.

SOMEBODY PLEASE REACH IN MY POCKET

AND GIVE ME TWO BLUES AND ONE YELLOW.

- HELLO, I'M CALLING ABOUT PHIL BRADLEY.

WE'RE HAVING A REUNION IN VERMONT

AND COULD YOU TELL HIM TO HURRY ON DOWN?

WE NEED A MASSIVE INJECTION OF SILLY.

- I SEE.

UH, WHEN?

THANK YOU.

- WELL? WHEN'S HE GONNA GET HERE?

- OH, IT COULD BE A WHILE.

PHIL DIED THREE WEEKS AGO.

- AH, HERE YOU ARE.

YOU STILL CAN'T SLEEP?

- NO.

- WELL, HONEY, LOSING A FRIEND IS TOUGH.

- YEAH, WELL, THAT'S NOT ALL THAT'S BOTHERING ME.

- WHAT ELSE?

- YOU KNOW, EVEN THOUGH PHIL'S DEAD,

I MEAN, HE'S STILL THE LIVELIEST MEMBER OF THE JAZZTONES.

- DICK, DON'T SAY THAT.

- JOANNA, PEOPLE I REMEMBER AS TOTAL WILD MEN

HAVE GOTTEN BALD, HENPECKED

AND THINK GARDENING IS LIVING ON THE EDGE.

- WELL, DICK, EVERYBODY GETS OLDER.

I'M BETTER AT THIS WIDE AWAKE.

- JOANNA, FACE IT, MY GLORY DAYS ARE BEHIND ME.

I REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO CLIMB STAIRS TWO AT A TIME.

NOW IT'S ONE BY ONE.

SOON I'LL NEED ONE OF THOSE LITTLE CHAIRS

THAT RIDE UP THE BANISTER.

- HONEY, YOU'RE FORGETTING THE POSITIVE THINGS

ABOUT GETTING OLDER.

YOU HAVE SECURITY,

ACCOMPLISHMENTS,

WISDOM,

A FAIRLY NICE WARDROBE,

DRUMS.

MAYBE I'D BETTER GO BACK TO BED.

( yawning ) - WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT, SLATS?

- YEAH, GETTING UP BEFORE EIGHT SCREWS UP MY REGULARITY.

- JUST BECAUSE PHIL IS GONE,

DOESN'T MEAN IT'S ALL OVER FOR THE JAZZTONES.

- YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE US PLAY AGAIN?

- NO, BUT WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

- WHAT?

- ANYTHING.

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO DO SOMETHING

THAT MADE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DID IN THE OLD DAYS,

SOMETHING WILD AND INSANE?

- WELL, WOULD OUR INSURANCE COVER IT?

- YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.

LISTEN, IF YOU DON'T DO IT FOR ME,

DO IT FOR PHIL,

IN HONOR OF WHAT HE MEANT TO US.

- WELL, WHAT KIND OF THING DO YOU WANT TO DO?

- ANYTHING.

I MEAN, YOU GUYS DECIDE.

AS LONG AS IT'S WILD AND EXCITING.

- LET'S GO BOWLING!

- I WAS THINKING OF SOMETHING

WITH A LITTLE MORE OF AN ELEMENT OF RISK.

- LET'S EAT MEXICAN.

- I DON'T THINK YOU GOT THE RIGHT SPIRIT YET.

THINK DANGER, RISK.

- WATER-SKIING.

- KEEPING IN MIND WE'RE IN VERMONT IN WINTER.

- SLEDDING.

- WAIT, BETTER YET, TOBOGGANING.

- REALLY?

- YEAH, IT'S PERFECT. IT'S EXHILARATING. IT'S EXCITING

AND THERE'S A PLACE JUST A FEW MILES FROM HERE.

- YA KNOW, I FEEL NUTTIER ALREADY.

- ME TOO.

- THE JAZZTONES ARE BACK IN ACTION.

- YEAH.

- I'LL BRING PLENTY OF ANTACID IN CASE WE STOP FOR FOOD.

- AND I'LL CALL MY WIFE AND ASK PERMISSION.

- CAN I HELP YOU?

- YEAH. YEAH, WE WANT TO--

( clearing throat ) WE WANT TO TAKE A RUN.

- YOU GUYS LOOK KIND OF OLD FOR THIS SORT OF THING.

- HEY, WE'RE THE JAZZTONES.

- JAZZTONES? MEET THE WIDOWMAKER.

- WILL YOU PUT THOSE AWAY?

- OKAY, YOU START RIGHT HERE ON WHIPLASH WAY,

THEN YOU HIT PARALYZER POINT,

SHOOT INTO THE SLING SHOT,

AND THEN SLIP UNDER GUILLOTINE BRIDGE.

IT'D HELP IF YOU DUCK THERE.

- THAT SOUNDS GOOD,

FOR A START.

- YOU ARE THE JAZZTONE.

OKAY, WHAT'S YOUR PLEASURE? LIGHTNING, ROCKET OR POKEY?

- LIGHTNING.

- SLATS, POKEY SOUNDS KINDA CUTE.

- AH, NOT REALLY.

IT GOT ITS NAME WHEN SOMEONE TOOK A BRANCH IN THE EYE.

- LIGHTNING IT IS.

- SLATS, THIS IS DANGEROUS.

- THEY WOULDN'T LET YOU DO THIS IF IT WERE DANGEROUS.

- YOU'LL HAVE TO SIGN THIS WAIVER.

( reading ) "WE FULLY RELEASE THE MANAGEMENT

FROM ALL LIABILITY FOR ANY DEATH OR INJURY INCLUDING,

BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE LOSS OF LIMBS

AND/OR HEAD."

- YEAH, WE HAD TO ADD THAT LAST ONE.

- DICK, OUR HEADS!

- ALRIGHT, SO THERE'S AN ELEMENT OF RISK,

BUT THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT. TO DO SOMETHING DARING.

SOMETHING THAT LETS US KNOW WE'RE ALIVE.

- AND DYING'S GONNA DO THAT?

- MY WIFE MARRIED ME FOR MY LOOKS.

SHE'LL KILL ME IF WHAT'S LEFT WINDS UP ON A TREE.

- LISTEN, GUYS, IF YOU CHICKEN OUT NOW,

YOU'LL HAVE TO ADMIT TO YOURSELVES

THAT YOU'RE OLD AND OLD IS LESS.

- WE COULD ADMIT THAT.

- OLD IS LESS.

OKAY. CAN WE GO NOW?

- GUYS,

FOR PHIL?

- FOR PHIL. - FOR PHIL.

- WHAT ARE WE?

Together: - THE JAZZTONES!

- AHH!

- HI, MICHAEL. - GEORGE.

IF I HAD ANY IDEA I WAS GONNA BUMP INTO YOU HERE,

I WOULD HAVE BROUGHT THE MONEY I OWE YOU.

- AH, THAT'S OKAY.

IT'LL KEEP.

- THANKS.

BOY, IF YOU EVER OPEN A BANK,

YOU CAN COUNT ON A LOT OF LOAN BUSINESS FROM THIS GUY.

HA, HA.

MY CAR'S GONE!

- YOU'RE KIDDING? WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE?

- YOU KNOW MY CAR, GEORGE,

IT'S A RED MINT-CONDITION TURBO Z.

- DID IT HAVE A DISTINCTIVE PINE SCENT?

- MY ODOR SNUFFER.

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?

- SAME PLACE I GOT THIS.

- MY CUSTOM SPOKED HUBCAP WITH CURB CUTTERS.

YOU TOOK THE PINE TREE AND HUBCAPS OFF MY CAR?

- AMONG OTHER THINGS.

- OH, NO.

ONE OF THOSE...

THINGS FROM THE ENGINE.

GEORGE, I WANT THOSE BACK AND I WANT THEM NOW.

- WELL, THEY ARE YOURS, MICHAEL...

FOR $500.

- YOU EXPECT ME TO PAY $500 FOR A DEODOR AND A HUBCAP

AND A SMUDGY BLACK THING?

- WELL, MAYBE NOT.

BUT WHAT IF I THREW IN ONE OF THESE?

- FORGET IT.

I DON'T NEED ANY OF THOSE THINGS.

NOW WHERE'S THE REST OF MY CAR?

- IN THE GARAGE.

OF COURSE, IF YOU DRIVE WITHOUT A DOOR,

YOU COULD FREEZE TO DEATH.

BUT THEN YOU'D WARM UP AS SOON AS THE ENGINE EXPLODES.

- I'LL WRITE YOU A CHECK.

- FINE.

WE'LL GO TO THE BANK AND CASH IT.

WE BETTER TAKE MY CAR.

- WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, GEORGE,

THIS IS THE LAST TIME I EVER BORROW MONEY FROM YOU.

- I KNOW.

- JOANNA!

JOANNA!

( playing drums )

- DICK, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY?

- CAREENING WILDLY DOWN A TREACHEROUS MOUNTAIN SLOPE

IN A RUNAWAY TOBOGGAN.

- YOU DID A DANGEROUS THING LIKE THAT WITHOUT TELLING ME FIRST?

- DAMN RIGHT.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MARRY A JAZZTONE.

- WHAT A RIDE! PHEW!

THAT WAS THE GREATEST 20 FEET OF MY LIFE.

- YOU ONLY WENT 20 FEET?

- CAREENING WILDLY.

WE WERE THROWN OFF THE COURSE AT THE FIRST CURVE

AND WE CRASHED HEADLONG

INTO THIS... SNOW BANK.

- YEAH, IT WAS LIKE RUNNING RIGHT INTO A BIG COMFORTER.

- YEAH, ONLY WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT

UNTIL WE CAREENED WILDLY INTO IT.

YEAH, IT WAS SCARY.

- YEAH, BUT EXCITING. HA, HA, HA.

OOH, LOOK AT THIS.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL MY WIFE 27 MINUTES AGO.

LET HER WAIT.

- ALL RIGHT, SHEIK!

- UH, COULD SOMEONE HELP ME TO THE COUCH.

I DON'T THINK I CAN WALK IT.

- OH MY GOD, WHILE YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN CELEBRATING,

THIS MAN IS OBVIOUSLY HURT.

- OH, NO, NO, NO.

THIS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TOBOGGAN.

- NO, AFTERWARDS, WE DID SOMETHING

THAT TOOK EVEN MORE GUTS.

- WE ATE MEXICAN.

- WHAT ARE WE?

- THE JAZZTONES!

( theme music playing )

Man's voice: MEOW!