Original subtitles

( music playing )

- OOH, WHAT A LOVELY CASTLE.

ARE YOUR PARENTS TRAVELING IN EUROPE?

- NO, THAT'S OUR SUMMER HOUSE.

EVER SINCE DADDY'S RETIRED, HE'S TAKE UP PHOTOGRAPHY.

- AH! I WONDERED WHY A POSTCARD WOULD HAVE A FINGER IN IT.

STEPHANIE! STEPHANIE, HOLD STILL.

- JOANNA, I DON'T KNOW WHY WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS.

I ALREADY TOLD YOU MY MEASUREMENTS.

- I'M AFRAID I NEED MORE TO GO ON THAN "PERFECT."

- WHY DO WE HAVE TO WEAR STUPID COSTUMES ANYWAY?

- IT'S A TRADITION, NOW STOP COMPLAINING.

YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

- I ALREADY DO.

DRESSING UP IN A COLONIAL GOWN MAY EXCITE YOU

BUT WHAT ABOUT THOSE OF US WHO DON'T NEED GIMMICKS?

- HI, JOANNA, STEPHANIE.

LOOK WHAT I GOT FOR COLONIAL DAYS.

- OH, THAT'S GREAT, GEORGE!

DOESN'T HE LOOK HANDSOME?

- AS HANDSOME AS A PERSON CAN LOOK

IN CLOTHING WITH CORNERS.

- WHAT'S-- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- WELL, I'VE GOT A FEW MORE FINISHING TOUCHES

TO PUT ON YOUR COSTUME FOR COLONIAL DAYS.

- OH NO. IS-- IS THIS WEEKEND COLONIAL DAYS?

- FORSOOTH, LANDHOLDER LOUDON.

- I HAVE TO SPEND THE WEEKEND FINISHING MY BOOK.

THE DEADLINE IS MONDAY.

- YOU SAID YOU'D HAVE THAT DONE.

- HONEY, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT ME

THAT MINIATURE BASKETBALL HOOP FOR MY WASTEPAPER BASKET.

IT'S HARD TO WRITE WITH THE STANDS CHANTING

"LOUDON! LOUDON! LOUDON!"

I'M AFRAID I'M GOING TO HAVE TO MISS THE CELEBRATION.

- DICK, YOU CAN'T MISS COLONIAL DAYS.

- YEAH, DICK.

YOU'LL MISS THE REENACTMENT OF THE BRITISH SIEGE,

THE PLAGUE OF 1724, AND THE GREAT INDIAN MASSACRE.

- WELL, I'D LIKE TO PARTICIPATE, GEORGE,

IF ONLY TO RELIVE THE GOOD TIMES.

- WELL, THERE'S ALSO A STRICT TOWN ORDINANCE

THAT SAYS EVERYONE HAS TO DRESS UP, OR ELSE.

- OR-- OR ELSE WHAT?

- YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE.

NO ONE'S EVER DARED RISK IT BEFORE.

- WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE CRUEL AND-- AND VAGUE PUNISHMENT.

ANYWAY, I'M GOING TO SPEND THE WEEKEND IN-- IN MY STUDY,

SO I-- I'LL HAVE NO REASON TO WEAR A COSTUME.

- I CAN THINK OF ONE.

- WHAT THAT? - I SPENT TWO WEEKS MAKING IT.

- OH, THAT IS WONDERFUL! - I KNOW, I KNOW.

- STEPHANIE, YOU LOOK...

- OH, GEORGE, DON'T SAY I LOOK MORE BEAUTIFUL

THAN YOU'VE EVER SEEN ME.

- WHY NOT?

- BECAUSE IT'LL MEAN I HAVEN'T ALWAYS LOOKED MY BEST

AND THAT MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE

HAS BEEN A STUPID, USELESS, POINTLESS WASTE.

- OH.

I'VE SHOVELED STUFF THAT LOOKED BETTER'N YOU.

- WELL?

( reactions of astonishment )

- HOW DO I LOOK?

- BOY, YOU LOOK A LOT BETTER THAN STEPHANIE DOES,

THAT'S FOR SURE.

- LET'S NOT OVERDO IT, GEORGE.

WHERE'S DICK?

- STALLING.

I DON'T THINK HE LIKES HIS COSTUME.

- WHY NOT?

- THAT DOES IT.

- DICK! JUST IGNORE THEM.

THAT IS THE WAY NOBLEMEN DRESSED.

- THERE'S NOTHING NOBLE ABOUT THIS.

I MEAN, LOOK AT ME.

NO WONDER THE INDIANS MASSACRED THESE PEOPLE.

- DON'T FEEL BAD.

AT LEAST YOU DON'T LOOK MORE BEAUTIFUL

THAN YOU'VE EVER LOOKED IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

- THANK YOU.

- OFFICER SCHIFFLITT, DON'T YOU LOOK AUTHENTIC?

- YES, MA'AM.

SORRY TO BUST IN LIKE THIS BUT I NABBED A TRAFFIC VIOLATOR.

CLAIMS TO BE SOMEBODY HERE'S FATHER.

- MY DAUGHTER WORKS HERE.

- ALLEGED DAUGHTER.

- MR. VANDERKELLEN!

OFFICER SCHIFFLITT, THIS IS STEPHANIE'S FATHER.

- OKAY, I'VE ID'D HIM.

NAILED HIM FOR TWO COUNTS OF DRIVING AGAINST A PARADE.

IT WAS AWFUL. BATONS EVERYWHERE.

- I HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY.

- HOW DO YOU FIGURE?

- I ALWAYS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY.

- NOT IN MY TOWN.

- MR. VANDERKELLEN, I'M-- I'M DICK LOUDON.

- HOW DO YOU DO?

- IT'S A PLEASURE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.

- ( clears throat )

WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

- A NOBLEMAN.

- I GUESS WHILE SOME PEOPLE WERE CARVIN' OUT THE WILDERNESS,

SOMEBODY HAD TO STAY HOME AND DANCE BACKWARDS.

- DADDY! - PRINCESS!

- DADDY!

HAVE YOU MET DICK AND JOANNA,

THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME CLEAN TOILETS?

- OH, YES.

- AND I'M GEORGE UTLEY, THE MAN THEY MAKE FIX TOILETS.

- CHARMED.

- DADDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- I CAME TO VISIT YOU, SWEETHEART.

- NO, SERIOUSLY.

- STEPHANIE, I KNOW WE'VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES IN THE PAST,

BUT NOW THAT I'M RETIRED,

I'M DETERMINED TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY.

- WHERE'S MUMMY?

- I LEFT HER IN NEWPORT.

SHE'S ON SEVERAL FUNDRAISING COMMITTEES

AND HER PRESENCE WAS NEEDED,

WHAT WITH THIS "SAVE THE $1000 BILL" CRISIS.

- I-- I GUESS THERE'S--

THERE'S NO POINT IN CONTRIBUTING MONEY.

- SO, HOW LONG WILL YOU BE IN TOWN?

- AS LONG AS MY DAUGHTER CAN STAND ME.

- COME ON. I'LL MAKE UP A ROOM FOR YOU

IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO WATCH.

- STEPHANIE, THE ROOMS ARE ALL FULL.

- OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

WHO CAN WE KICK OUT?

- OH, STEPHANIE,

I REALLY THINK I SHOULD TAKE A ROOM ELSEWHERE.

- I'M AFRAID EVERY ROOM IN TOWN IS BOOKED FOR "COLONIAL DAYS."

IT'S A MADHOUSE.

I COULD EVEN BE LOOKIN' AT SOME MOB CONTROL.

- WELL, I'VE GOT A NICE, BIG ROOM OVER THE GARAGE.

IF YOU WANT, WE CAN SET UP A COT.

- GEORGE, I HARDLY THINK...

- OH, NO. THAT WOULD BE FINE.

LEAD THE WAY, GEORGE.

- SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH DADDY.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? HE-- HE SEEMED FINE.

- FINE?

DICK, MY FATHER JUST AGREED TO SHARE A ROOM WITH GEORGE

OVER A GARAGE AND SLEEP ON A COT.

- OH, RIGHT.

THREE EARLY WARNING SIGNS.

- LOOK, DEAR, AN ANTIQUE BROOM!

EVERYTHING HERE IS STILL AUTHENTIC.

( vacuuming )

- STEPHANIE! YOU KNOW THE RULES.

EVERYTHING IS SUPPOSED TO BE DONE THE WAY

IT WAS IN THE OLD DAYS.

- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

BUT IT'S NOT FAIR.

EVEN THE FLINTSTONES HAD A VACUUM.

- JOANNA, I-- I CAN'T WORK IN THIS.

NOW I'VE LOST MY BLUE EDITING PENCIL.

- BUT DICK, YOU CAN'T BLAME THAT ON YOUR COSTUME.

- YES I CAN.

I TRIED TO STICK IT BEHIND MY EAR AND--

AND MY WIG ATE IT.

- WELL, COME ON IN AND SIT DOWN. I'LL LOOK FOR IT.

- WHILE YOU'RE IN THERE, LOOK FOR CHAPTER 3.

- HI, I'M LARRY. THIS IS MY BROTHER DARRYL,

AND THIS MY OTHER BROTHER DARRYL,

AND THIS IS OUR FRIEND ART.

- DADDY! - PRINCESS!

- OH, YOU TWO ARE RELATED?

THERE'S ANOTHER FAUX PAS FOR THE RECORD.

- GUESS WHAT, KITTEN.

I WAS STROLLING THROUGH THE WOODS

AND I CAME ACROSS THESE THREE CHAPS

DRESSED AS COLORFUL 18TH CENTURY WOODSMEN.

- YOU LOOK KIND OF SARTORIALLY RESPLENDENT YOURSELF, ART.

- LOOK, THEY'RE TEACHING ME HOW TO WHITTLE.

IT'S ENORMOUSLY RELAXING, AND PRACTICAL TOO.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER CLOCK.

- WELL, WE GOTTA GO.

ART, WE WANNA THANK YOU FOR THAT TIP

ON THE DEFERRED INVESTMENT CREDIT.

- OKAY, DADDY, WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO NUTS-O?

- CAN'T A FELLOW KEEP BUSY

WITHOUT HAVING HIS SANITY QUESTIONED?

HERE, STOP WORRYING AND BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING.

OH, IT'S LATE.

GEORGE PROMISED TO TEACH ME HOW TO CHOP FIREWOOD.

I HOPE I DON'T GET MY GRANDFATHER CLOCK

MIXED UP WITH THE KINDLING.

- JUST REMEMBER NOT TO PUT YOUR PENCIL BEHIND YOUR EAR.

- OH MY GOD!

- WHAT'S--

WHAT'S WRONG?

- LOOK AT WHAT MY FATHER JUST GAVE ME.

- A HUNDRED DOLLARS!

- IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. DADDY'S NOT RETIRED.

HE'S BROKE.

- AND HE'S OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO COVER

BY GIVING AWAY HUGE SUMS OF MONEY.

- DICK, HE USED TO GIVE ME MORE THAN THIS TO BUY GUM.

- STEPHANIE, DON'T YOU THINK

YOU MIGHT BE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS?

- WELL, WHAT CONCLUSION WOULD YOU JUMP TO

IF YOUR FATHER COULDN'T AFFORD GUM?

DADDY!

DADDY, STOP PLAYING PAUL BUNYAN AND GET IN HERE.

- YOU REALLY MUSTN'T YELL AT A PERSON

WHEN HE'S SWINGING AN AXE.

- DADDY, DON'T TRY TO DENY THAT SOMETHING'S WRONG

BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS.

- YOU DO? - YES, AND WE'LL SURVIVE.

YOU CAN LIQUIDATE AND MUMMY IS ALWAYS FINDING

LOOSE BULLION IN THE SOFA.

- SWEETHEART, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- OUR BEING POOR.

- WE'RE NOT POOR.

- WE'RE NOT?

YOU MEAN, YOUR FORTUNE, PARENTHESES,

MY INHERITANCE, CLOSE PARENTHESES, IS SAFE?

- OF COURSE. IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT.

IT'S JUST, WELL, I'VE LEFT YOUR MOTHER.

IT WAS UNAVOIDABLE.

YOUR MOTHER AND I HAD A TERRIBLE ROW.

- AND YOU LEFT HER?

- NO, I LEFT THE SCREAMING FISHWIFE

THAT HAD TAKEN POSSESSION OF HER BODY.

- THIS-- THIS IS KIND OF BORDERING ON THE PERSONAL.

- MAYBE DICK AND I SHOULD...

- NO, I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW WHAT A MANIACAL SHREW I MARRIED.

- WELL, SINCE--

SINCE YOU'RE BACKING OFF THE PERSONAL STUFF.

- DADDY, THIS DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MUMMY AT ALL.

- THE WOMAN THREW WEDGEWOOD AT ME.

- NO!

- FORTUNATELY I DUCKED, BUT SHE HIT THE PICASSO.

- FIGHTS AT-- AT YOUR HOUSE CAN--

CAN REALLY ADD UP.

- DADDY, WHAT STARTED ALL THIS?

- WHO KNOWS?

ONE MINUTE SHE WAS PLAYING BRIDGE WITH HER CLUB,

THE NEXT SHE WAS USING LANGUAGE THAT, WELL,

I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT THERE WAS SAILOR BLOOD

ON YOUR MOTHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY.

- BUT YOU CAN'T JUST WALK OUT ON 38 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

- OH REALLY? JUST WATCH MY DUST.

- DADDY!

- DID YOU EVER GET YOUR FATHER TO HOLD STILL LONG ENOUGH

TO TALK TO HIM LAST NIGHT?

- NO, SO I TELEPHONED MUMMY

AND TRIED TO TALK HER INTO DRIVING UP HERE

BUT SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN.

I EVEN POUTED,

BUT IT LOSES SOMETHING OVER THE PHONE.

- OH, MORNING, HONEY. DID YOU SLEEP WELL?

- NO, I WAS TOO EXCITED ABOUT GETTING TO--

TO WEAR THIS AGAIN.

- DICK, IT'S THE LAST DAY OF THE CELEBRATION.

TOMORROW YOU CAN PUT ON YOUR OLD CLOTHES.

- GEE, I DON'T KNOW, HONEY.

I'VE HEARD THAT ONCE YOU'VE WORN LAVENDER SATIN,

IT'S HARD TO GO BACK.

- HELLO.

- MUMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T COMING UP.

- WELL, I JUST COULDN'T FORGET

WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I HAD MEANT TO EACH OTHER.

BESIDES, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

WITH THE WAY YOU POUTED ON THE PHONE?

- MUMMY, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET DICK AND JOANNA,

THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME CLEAN

THE GLOP OUT OF DRAINS WITH MY HAND.

- STEPHANIE'S TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.

- WELL, I HOPE DRAIN GLOP WASN'T THE HIGH POINT.

( laughing )

- THANKS, GEORGE. I NEVER CHANGED OIL BEFORE.

IT'S EVER SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN SHIPPING IT IN FROM KUWAIT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- I CAME HERE TO TALK TO YOU.

- YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME, MARIAN.

THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO DISCUSS,

ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU CALLED ME...

THAT NAME.

- WHAT NAME?

- THE ONE THAT JUMPED RIGHT OUT OF THE GUTTER INTO YOUR MOUTH.

- "NOODLEHEAD"?

- THEN "N" WORD AGAIN!

NOW YOU ALL HEARD IT.

- WELL, OF COURSE I CALLED YOU THAT.

YOU MOONED MY BRIDGE CLUB.

- DADDY!

- I'M GOING TO MY STUDY. - I'M GOING TO THE KITCHEN.

- GARAGE! - THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.

I'M THE ONE WHO'LL BE LEAVING.

- NOODLEHEAD!

NOODLEHEAD!

NOODLEHEAD!

- WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

SAILOR BLOOD!

IS MY WIFE AROUND?

- DO YOU WANT ME TO GET HER?

- NO, NO, NO!

- MR. VANDERKELLEN, YOU'RE NOT REALLY LEAVING?

- YES, I AM.

WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL YOUR HUSBAND

THAT I HOPE WE MEET AGAIN

UNDER LESS BIZARRE CIRCUMSTANCES?

- NOW THERE'S NOTHING BIZARRE ABOUT A DOMESTIC SQUABBLE.

- I WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS CLOTHES.

- THERE HE IS, OFFICER.

- SORRY, SIR, YOU'RE IN VIOLATION

OF ARTICLE III, PARAGRAPH 2

OF THE COLONIAL DAYS CELEBRATION BYLAWS.

- NOW, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

- THE RULE SAYS THAT ALL RESIDENTS

MUST DRESS UP IN COLONIAL COSTUMES.

I DON'T THINK THE MINUTEMEN WORE ITALIAN SHOES.

- I'M NOT A RESIDENT.

- PAYING TO STAY HERE?

- WELL, NO. - AND DIDN'T I HEAR YOU SAY

THAT YOU'RE STAYING INDEFINITELY?

- WELL, YES. - YOU'RE A RESIDENT.

- YOU PUT HIM UP TO THIS.

- WELL, YOU KNOW, HOW OFTEN I SAID

THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRESS PROPERLY

SHOULD BE TAKEN OFF THE STREETS.

- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- DICK, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR COSTUME?

- JOANNA, I'M SORRY.

I-- I WASN'T GETTING ANY WORK DONE.

I KEPT ROLLING MY LACE CUFFS INTO MY TYPEWRITER.

- WHOA, LOOK WHAT GOT CAUGHT IN THE DRAGNET.

- WAIT-- WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT-- WHAT IS THIS?

- TAKING YOU IN FOR NON-COMPLIANCE

WITH THE DRESS CODE.

IT'S ALL PART OF THE FUN WE CALL "COLONIAL DAYS."

- BUT, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

- WE COULD SUE YOU FOR THIS.

- GO AHEAD. MAKETH MY DAY.

I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SAY THAT.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON, COME ON.

IT'S GOING TO BE A LITTLE CROWDED.

HOPE YOU DON'T MIND SITTIN' IN THE BACK, MR. LOUDON.

- THERE'S NO WAY I'M GETTING ON THAT HORSE.

- I DEMAND TO CALL MY ATTORNEY.

- SORRY, THE TELEPHONE WON'T BE INVENTED

FOR ANOTHER HUNDRED YEARS.

CHEER UP, GENTLEMEN.

LIKE I SAID, IT'S ALL PART OF THE FUN.

- LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL.

THIS IS WHERE I WANNA BE.

- TIME TO MAKE MY ROUNDS.

I'LL STOP BY LATER AND SCARE THE PIGEONS OFF YOU.

- STEPHANIE, WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT

THAT YOU HAD TO DRAG ME DOWN HERE LIKE THIS?

- WELL, YOU SAID THAT YOU WISHED DADDY WOULD HOLD STILL

LONG ENOUGH TO TALK TO HIM.

- WELL, WELL.

HE COULDN'T GET MUCH STILLER THAN THAT.

- HI, DADDY.

HI, DICK.

I'M SORRY YOU GOT DRAGGED INTO THIS,

AND YOU WERE WORKING ON YOUR BOOK, TOO.

- HEY, IT-- IT REALLY ISN'T THAT MUCH OF A DESTRUCTION.

- ALL RIGHT, ARTHUR, NOW THAT I'VE GOT YOU

WHERE I WANT YOU, WHAT'S GOING ON?

- LEAVE ME ALONE.

- DADDY, YOU'RE IN NO POSITION TO BE STUBBORN.

WE CAN MAKE YOU TALK.

- NOBODY CAN MAKE ME DO ANYTHING.

- YOU'RE A PROUD MAN, AREN'T YOU DADDY?

THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS LOVED ABOUT YOU.

YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD YOUR PRIDE,

YOUR DIGNITY, AND YOUR SAVOIR FAIRE.

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I'LL TALK.

JUST TAKE THEM OFF.

- WHY DID YOU HUMILIATE ME IN FRONT OF MY BRIDGE CLUB?

- BECAUSE YOUR BRIDGE CLUB IS STUPID.

- YOU THINK THE DEMOCRATS ARE STUPID

BUT YOU NEVER MOON THEM.

- I WAS TEMPTED IN '72.

BUT, YOU'RE ALWAYS SO BUSY WITH YOUR CLUBS AND CHARITIES

I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D EVEN NOTICE.

- NOTICE? WE ALL NOTICED.

MRS. HODGKINS BUTTERED AND ATE THE THREE OF HEARTS.

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS.

- MAYBE THIS IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS,

BUT I THINK WHAT YOUR HUSBAND IS TRYING TO SAY

THAT WITH YOU BUSY ALL THE TIME,

MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PAYING AS MUCH ATTENTION TO HIM LATELY.

WHEN-- WHEN YOU'RE IN STIR WITH A GUY,

YOU-- YOU GET TO KNOW HIM.

- ARTHUR, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN BUSY

WITH MY CLUBS AND CHARITIES.

I HAD TO BE.

YOU WERE ALWAYS OFF EARNING GOBS.

- NOW I'M RETIRED.

THEY TOOK MY NAME OFF THE DOOR

AND PUT ON A PLAQUE WITH A BUNCH OF DEAD PEOPLE.

- ARTHUR, YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE.

- I THINK WHAT HE'S TRYING TO SAY IS

HE FEELS LIKE HE'S USELESS.

- DO YOU MIND? THIS IS A PERSONAL CONVERSATION.

- I'M SORRY.

I'LL, UH, I'LL MOVE OVER THERE OUT OF EARSHOT.

Stephanie: WAIT, MUMMY.

USUALLY WHEN DICK TALKS, I DON'T LISTEN EITHER,

BUT THIS TIME HE MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING.

- ARTHUR?

ARE YOU FEELING USELESS?

- HOW SHOULD I FEEL?

THE BUSINESS IS FINE WITHOUT ME, THE CHILDREN ARE GONE,

MY WIFE DOESN'T NEED ME.

I'M NOTHING.

I FEEL LIKE MOONING THE WORLD.

- OH, I HAD NO IDEA YOU FELT THIS WAY.

YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN SO STRONG AND CONFIDENT.

- I KNOW.

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME LIKE THIS.

NOT LIKE "THIS," LIKE THIS.

- BUT, ARTHUR, I LOVE YOU LIKE THIS.

I LOVE YOU ANY WAY YOU ARE.

- SWEETHEART, I LOVE YOU TOO.

Dick: POSSIBLY THIS IS A BAD TIME,

BUT COULD-- COULD SOMEONE SCRATCH MY NOSE?

- HERE.

MUMMY, COULDN'T YOU DROP ONE OR TWO OF YOUR ACTIVITIES

TO MAKE TIME FOR DADDY?

- WELL, I SUPPOSE SO.

IT'S A SURE BET THE BRIDGE CLUB ISN'T COMING BACK.

- AND DADDY, COULDN'T YOU GO BACK TO WORK PART-TIME?

- WELL, SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO ENTICE ME

INTO HELPING THEM OUT OF THEIR FINANCIAL CRISIS.

- WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL, DADDY.

WHO?

- THE ENGLISH.

- WHAT A PAIR OF NOODLEHEADS WE'VE BEEN.

- FRIENDS AGAIN?

- YES, WE ARE.

- THEN CONSIDER YOURSELF ON PAROLE.

- AH!

- NOW, DON'T SHOW YOUR MUGS AROUND HERE AGAIN

UNLESS THEY'RE IN LOVE.

- I'M THIRSTY.

LET'S GO AND BUY THE LEMONADE STAND.

- AN UNFRIENDLY TAKEOVER.

MY ARTHUR IS BACK.

- NOW THAT EVERYBODY IS FRIENDS AGAIN,

WOULD YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE

SO I CAN GIVE MY NOSE A REAL SCRATCH?

- SORRY. HIS ARREST WAS A SETUP.

YOURS WAS RIGHTEOUS BUST.

YOU GOT ANOTHER HOUR.

- WHAT?

- NONE OF THAT.

PART OF THE PUNISHMENT.

- FOLKS-- FOLKS, COULD SOMEONE SCRATCH MY NOSE?

IT'S-- IT'S WORTH MONEY!

FIVE-- FIVE DOLLARS TO SCRATCH MY NOSE.

ANY-- ANYBODY?

FIVE DOLLARS TO SCRATCH MY NOSE!

( music playing )

( meow )

( music fading out )