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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:05,103 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:59,792 --> 00:01:02,527 - HI. I'M LARRY, THIS IS MY BROTHER DARRYL, 3 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,162 AND THIS IS MY OTHER BROTHER, DARRYL. 4 00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:09,101 - HI. HI, GUYS. WHAT'S-- WHAT'S UP? 5 00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:10,835 - WE'RE RETURNING YOUR CHAINSAW. 6 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:11,936 - OH, THANKS. 7 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:16,207 WHERE-- WHERE IS IT? 8 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,310 - OH, DEAR. WE MUST'VE LEFT IT AT THE CAFE. 9 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:19,344 DARRYL? 10 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,447 AND DON'T BE PLAYIN' "LET'S SEE IF IT'LL CUT THIS" 11 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,015 ON THE WAY BACK. 12 00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:30,989 I GOT A CONFESSION TO MAKE. 13 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,223 I JUST WANTED TO GET RID OF DARRYL 14 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,424 SO WE COULD BE ALONE. 15 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:39,764 - UH, WHY? 16 00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:41,600 - I'M GOIN' BACK TO SCHOOL. 17 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:42,767 - OH. 18 00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,703 - I'M PROBABLY NOT AS EDUCATED AS YOU THINK I AM. 19 00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:50,475 TRUTH IS, I QUIT HIGH SCHOOL PREMATURELY ... 20 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:51,709 BEFORE I EVER GOT IN. 21 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,980 I WAS AFRAID I WASN'T HIGH SCHOOL MATERIAL. 22 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:57,616 - WHAT-- WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND? 23 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,683 - EARL. 24 00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:00,618 - WHO'S-- WHO'S EARL? 25 00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:02,687 - A CONTESTANT ON JEOPARDY. 26 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,823 HE LOST BIG. HE CHANGED MY LIFE. 27 00:02:05,858 --> 00:02:07,058 - HOW? 28 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,628 - WELL, I WOULD'VE CREAMED HIM BY THREE POINTS. 29 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:10,795 THAT INSPIRED ME TO SIGN UP 30 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:13,632 FOR THIS HIGH SCHOOL EQUIVALENCY REFRESHER COURSE. 31 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,233 THE TEST IS IN TWO WEEKS. 32 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:20,037 - WELL, A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE. 33 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,674 WHAT-- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 34 00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:25,143 - COVER FOR ME WITH MY BROTHERS. 35 00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:26,745 I DON'T WANT 'EM TO KNOW I'M IN SCHOOL. 36 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:29,548 - WELL, I'D THINK THEY'D BE PROUD OF YOU. 37 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,649 - YOU'D BE WRONG. 38 00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:34,418 THEY KIND OF FROWN ON HIGHER EDUCATION, 39 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:35,887 LIKE WHEN I DREW TIPPY THE TURTLE 40 00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,256 TO TRY TO GET INTO THAT SEND-AWAY ART SCHOOL, 41 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,658 THEY CALLED ME "UPPITY." 42 00:02:42,528 --> 00:02:44,028 YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ON THE BUSINESS END 43 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,764 OF THEIR BITING SARCASM. 44 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:49,367 WELL, HEH, MAYBE A COUPLE OF TIMES. 45 00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:52,771 - WELL, IF-- IF THE DARRYLS COME AROUND, 46 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:56,575 I'LL TELL THEM YOU'RE WORKING ON A PROJECT FOR ME. 47 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,511 - OOOH, YOU'RE SLICK! 48 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,578 BUT WATCH OUT. 49 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,414 DARRYL CAN PRY THE TRUTH OUT OF A STONE. 50 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,418 DID YOU GET THE CHAINSAW? 51 00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,185 DID YOU LOOK EVERYWHERE? 52 00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:12,022 WELL, WHERE IN TARNATION... 53 00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:13,925 WELL, I'LL BE! 54 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,927 I HAD IT HERE ALL ALONG. 55 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:22,767 WHAT'D I TELL YOU? 56 00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,602 ALREADY THE ZINGERS ARE FLYIN'. 57 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:30,242 ( music playing ) 58 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:33,311 - DICK, HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW VERMONT TOUR GUIDE? 59 00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:35,780 THEY TOOK AWAY ONE OF OUR MAPLE LEAVES. 60 00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:37,114 - NO KIDDING. 61 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,117 - LAST YEAR WE WERE A THREE-MAPLE-LEAF INN. 62 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,451 THIS YEAR WE'VE ONLY GOT TWO. 63 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:42,553 IT'S NOT FAIR. 64 00:03:42,588 --> 00:03:45,056 WE'VE BEEN DEFOLIATED. 65 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:49,127 WE CAN'T TAKE THIS LYING DOWN. 66 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:50,294 - WE CAN GO ALL OVER THE COUNTRY 67 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,597 BREAKING INTO PEOPLE'S HOMES 68 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,899 AND DRAWING MAPLE LEAVES IN THEIR BOOKS. 69 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:00,905 WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS, 70 00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:03,675 THERE'S NOT MUCH WE CAN DO ABOUT IT. 71 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:04,942 - FINE, DICK. 72 00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,410 WELL, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO 73 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:09,914 TO OUR TWO-MAPLE-LEAF KITCHEN AND WHIP UP A CROCK OF SWILL. 74 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,095 - HI. HI GUYS. 75 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,100 YOU'RE-- YOU'RE PROBABLY-- PROBABLY LOOKING FOR LARRY. 76 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:34,038 UH, AS HE MAY HAVE MENTIONED TO YOU, HE'S-- 77 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,274 HE'S WORKING ON A PROJECT FOR ME. 78 00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:42,313 WELL HE IS. 79 00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:46,985 IT'S-- IT'S-- IT'S FOR A BOOK. 80 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:49,120 AS YOU KNOW, I'M A WRITER. 81 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,526 WELL, I AM. 82 00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:59,830 I'M DOING A BOOK ON UFOS IN NEW ENGLAND 83 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:07,205 AND I HIRED LARRY TO PHOTOGRAPH THE UFOS. 84 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:16,147 THEY-- THEY COME OUT AT NIGHT... 85 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,252 MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS, AND FRIDAYS... 86 00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:27,291 BETWEEN EIGHT AND TEN. 87 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:34,265 YOU'RE PROBABLY-- PROBABLY WONDERING WHY 88 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:37,401 I DIDN'T ASK YOU TWO TO HELP OUT. 89 00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:44,842 THAT'S-- THAT'S BECAUSE UF-- UFOS ARE-- 90 00:05:44,877 --> 00:05:46,744 ARE TERRIFIED OF TRIOS. 91 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:54,519 ( door closes ) 92 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,623 ( music playing ) 93 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,758 - HONEY, I KEPT THINKING ALL NIGHT 94 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,560 ABOUT THE WAY THE VERMONT TOUR GUIDE 95 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:05,062 ROBBED US OF A MAPLE LEAF, AND I'VE WRITTEN A LETTER. 96 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,234 - "DEAR SIRS, WITH ALL RESPECT, 97 00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:13,304 WE BELIEVE YOUR REVIEW OF OUR INN IS UNFAIR. 98 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,539 NEXT TIME YOU HIRE A CRITIC, 99 00:06:15,574 --> 00:06:18,375 CHECK FIRST TO SEE IF HE'S BRAIN-DEAD." 100 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,879 - WHAT DO YOU THINK? 101 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,483 - YOU HAVEN'T MAILED THIS YET, HAVE YOU? 102 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:26,484 - NO. 103 00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,986 - GOOD, 'CAUSE I HAVE A FEW NOTES. 104 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:33,424 - I DICTATED IT OVER THE PHONE AS A MAILGRAM. 105 00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:36,094 - THEN I WOULDN'T CHANGE A WORD. 106 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,666 - IS THAT A CHIP IN THAT CUP? 107 00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:42,667 - YEAH. 108 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,435 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN "YEAH"? 109 00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:48,473 WE CAN'T HAVE A DINING ROOM FULL OF DAMAGED CROCKERY. 110 00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:49,440 IS THAT A CRACK? 111 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:52,109 - NO, NO! IT'S FINE. 112 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:56,781 - MISS, THIS CANTALOUPE ISN'T RIPE. 113 00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:58,316 - I'M A WAITRESS, NOT A BARTENDER. 114 00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,350 DON'T TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS. 115 00:06:59,385 --> 00:07:00,384 ( clattering ) 116 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:03,954 - CAN YOU BELIEVE THE WAY 117 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,990 STEPHANIE JUST TREATED THAT GUEST? 118 00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:08,425 - WELL, IT DIDN'T COME AS A COMPLETE SURPRISE. 119 00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:12,363 - EXCUSE ME, I HATE TO INTERRUPT, 120 00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:13,531 BUT ONLY TWO POSITIONS 121 00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:16,066 OF OUR THREE-WAY LIGHT BULB ARE WORKING. 122 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,840 - MY GOD, THIS PLACE IS A FLOPHOUSE! 123 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,677 - MORNING, EVERYBODY. 124 00:07:32,184 --> 00:07:34,919 IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY. 125 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,654 - GEORGE, I WANT YOU TO REPLACE 126 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,590 THE THREE-WAY LIGHT BULB IN ROOM SEVEN, 127 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,157 RE-TACK THE CARPETING ON THE STAIRS, 128 00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:44,229 AND FLUSH OUT ALL THE RADIATORS SO THEY DON'T KNOCK. 129 00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,831 - BOY, A DAY CAN SURE TURN ON YOU FAST. 130 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,138 - AND, STEPHANIE, AFTER BREAKFAST, 131 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,807 I'LL HAVE A LIST OF CHORES FOR YOU 132 00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:58,910 FOLLOWED BY A DISCUSSION OF YOUR BEING RUDE TO THE GUESTS. 133 00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:00,378 - HE STARTED IT! 134 00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:06,350 - I'M GONNA GIVE THIS WHOLE INN THE ONCE-OVER. 135 00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:08,419 OVER AND OVER AND OVER. 136 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,027 - HI. HI GUYS. 137 00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,862 WHAT'S-- WHAT'S UP? 138 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,265 "UFOS AND YOU." 139 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,035 WELL, WHAT ABOUT IT? 140 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:31,542 "UFOS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED BY AS FEW AS ONE 141 00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:34,845 AND AS MANY AS TEN THOUSAND PERSONS." 142 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:38,283 AH, AND-- AND I SAID THEY WERE AFRAID OF TRIOS. 143 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:40,551 WELL, THEY-- THEY ARE. 144 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,721 IT'S ONLY THAT MAGIC NUMBER THREE THAT SPOOKS 'EM. 145 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,627 "THIS FAMILY OF THREE 146 00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:56,167 WAS TAKEN FOR A RIDE ON A UFO." 147 00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:58,803 WELL, YOU CAN'T COUNT THE BABY. 148 00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:00,438 IT HAS-- HAS TO BE THREE ADULTS. 149 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,845 "THREE ANGRY STEELWORKERS..." 150 00:09:11,984 --> 00:09:13,351 WELL, NOW STEELWORKERS... 151 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,853 OKAY, HE'S GOING TO NIGHT SCHOOL. OKAY? 152 00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,464 - PSST! 153 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:29,366 WERE THEY TRYIN' TO DETERMINE MY NOCTURNAL WHEREABOUTS? 154 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,136 - YEAH. 155 00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:34,105 - WELL, I REALLY WANNA THANK YOU MORE THAN EVER 156 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,639 FOR KEEPIN' MY SECRET 157 00:09:35,674 --> 00:09:37,007 'CAUSE IF THEY KNEW WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, 158 00:09:37,042 --> 00:09:39,644 THEY'D BE ON ME LIKE DROOL ON A BABY. 159 00:09:43,048 --> 00:09:44,815 - WHAT-- WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? 160 00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,383 - I QUIT SCHOOL. 161 00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,458 - "UFOS ARE AFRAID OF TRIOS"? 162 00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:57,028 IS THAT THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH? 163 00:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,997 - YEAH. 164 00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,999 - WELL, DON'T FEEL TOO BAD. 165 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,202 THOSE TWO COULD GET RAMBO TO BABBLE. 166 00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:07,639 - LOOK, LARRY, WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? 167 00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,106 WHY-- WHY'D YOU QUIT SCHOOL? 168 00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,909 - WELL, IT STARTED OFF GOOD ENOUGH. 169 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,945 I WAS SURPRISED AND DELIGHTED 170 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,614 TO FIND A PIECE OF COMPLIMENTARY GUM UNDER MY SEAT. 171 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:26,057 NEXT THING I KNOW, EVERYBODY'S LAUGHIN' AT ME, 172 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:27,458 SO I HIGHTAILED IT. 173 00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:30,628 I CAN GET THAT KIND OF TREATMENT FROM DARRYL. 174 00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:32,363 - THAT'S NO REASON TO QUIT. 175 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:35,833 - ON TOP OF THAT, I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE LESSON. 176 00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:37,501 IT'S CLEAR TO ME MY BRAIN DON'T TAKE UP 177 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,636 THE FULL SPACE MY HEAD HAS ALLOTTED. 178 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,640 - LARRY, 179 00:10:44,009 --> 00:10:45,843 SUPPOSE I TUTOR YOU? 180 00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:48,612 - NO WAY. NOT IF THAT MEANS WHAT I THINK IT DOES. 181 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:51,682 - IT MEANS I'LL HELP YOU STUDY 182 00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:53,718 AND GET THAT HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA. 183 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,753 - OH. OKAY. 184 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,794 - STEPHANIE? 185 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:06,597 - JOANNA, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME WAX, 186 00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,899 DUST, OR POLISH ANYTHING ELSE. 187 00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,334 I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE 188 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:14,171 BUT I'M ALMOST TIRED OF GAZING AT MY OWN REFLECTION. 189 00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:18,309 - I'M SORRY BUT THE PORCH LANTERNS ARE TARNISHED. 190 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,409 - THEY'RE ANTIQUES! 191 00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,546 THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK YUCKY. 192 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,316 OH, ALL RIGHT. 193 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:28,086 STUPID, STUPID MAPLE LEAF. 194 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,591 - THE EARTH IS MADE UP OF SEVEN CONTINENTS, 195 00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:37,227 EUROPE, ANTARCTICA, ASIA, AFRICA, AUSTRALIA, 196 00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,029 NORTH AMERICA, AND SOUTH AMERICA. 197 00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:42,233 - HOW'LL I GONNA CRAM ALL THIS INTO ONE TEMPORAL LOBE. 198 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,268 - THAT'S WHY YOU'RE LUCKY I'M HERE. 199 00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:48,005 WHEN I WAS A KID, I CAME UP WITH A LITTLE TRICK. 200 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:56,513 "EAT AN ASPIRIN AFTER A NIGHT-TIME SNACK." 201 00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,384 I CAN EXPLAIN. 202 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,155 - DICK, IS THIS A GOOD TIME 203 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:08,059 TO SAND, STAIN, VARNISH, AND WAX THE FLOOR? 204 00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:11,462 - NO, GEORGE. 205 00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:14,998 - WELL, I GUESS I'LL GO WALLPAPER THE BATHROOM THEN. 206 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:18,302 STUPID, STUPID MAPLE LEAF. 207 00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:23,908 - LARRY, IT'S THE INITIALS. 208 00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:27,010 EACH LETTER STANDS FOR A CONTINENT, EUROPE, 209 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,880 ANTARCTICA, 210 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,248 ASIA, 211 00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,983 AFRICA, 212 00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:33,984 AUSTRALIA, 213 00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:35,486 NORTH AMERICA, 214 00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:36,821 SOUTH AMERICA. 215 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,790 - DO YOU SUPPOSE MISS JOANNA'D BE FREE TO TUTOR ME? 216 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,762 - LARRY, GIVE IT A CHANCE. 217 00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:46,397 - DARRYL, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? 218 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,066 MY LUNCH. 219 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,234 THANKS. 220 00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:56,040 MMM, SMELLS... 221 00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:57,141 ALL RIGHT, GET OUT. 222 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,509 YOU HAD YOUR FUN. 223 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,246 - WHAT IS IT? 224 00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:06,184 - TURTLE SOUP, AN OBVIOUS REFERENCE 225 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,319 TO THE TIPPY INCIDENT. 226 00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:16,594 ( music playing ) 227 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,828 - OH, DICK COULD YOU HELP ME 228 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:20,364 LOOK AT THESE FABRIC SWATCHES FOR THE JAMES MADISON ROOM? 229 00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,365 - HONEY, CAN IT WAIT? 230 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:24,101 LARRY'S AT SCHOOL TAKING HIS TEST 231 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:27,204 AND I FEEL LIKE AN EXPECTANT FATHER. 232 00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:30,308 I JUST HOPE HE DOESN'T COME BACK WITH A BOUNCING BABY "F." 233 00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,143 - IS THAT ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT? 234 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,179 GRADES, GRADES, GRADES? 235 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,514 WE'VE GOT MAPLE LEAVES TO WORRY ABOUT. 236 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,354 - LARRY, HOW'D YOU DO? 237 00:13:44,389 --> 00:13:47,891 - WELL, TEACHER DID SAY HE WAS GRADIN' ON A CURVE, 238 00:13:47,926 --> 00:13:50,828 BUT SINCE I ANSWERED ZERO OUT OF A HUNDRED, 239 00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:53,297 I EXPECT TO WIND UP CLOSE TO THE BOTTOM. 240 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,233 DANG. 241 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:58,602 AT LEAST ON JEOPARDY I WOULD'VE COME HOME 242 00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:00,805 WITH SOME LOVELY PARTING GIFTS. 243 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:05,743 - YOU FAILED? 244 00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:08,512 BUT YOU KNEW THE MATERIAL WHEN WE TALKED IT THROUGH. 245 00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:09,813 - YEAH, DOIN' IT THAT WAY 246 00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:13,250 SEEMED TO COME AS NATURAL AS STUFF BETWEEN YOUR TOES, 247 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:16,954 BUT WHEN I TRIED TO WRITE, 248 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,557 NONE OF THAT KNOWLEDGE MADE IT TO MY PENCIL. 249 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,959 - COME ON. I WANNA TALK TO YOUR TEACHER. 250 00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:25,062 - ALL RIGHT, BUT DON'T DO ANYTHING TO UPSET HIM. 251 00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:27,398 I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO HURT MY GRADE. 252 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,169 ( music playing ) 253 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,141 - LARRY, YOU-- YOU WAIT HERE. 254 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:44,882 - HI, I'M-- I'M DICK LAUDEN. 255 00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,884 - PAUL STUBIN. 256 00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:48,085 - I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU 257 00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,021 ABOUT LARRY'S TEST. 258 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,989 I'M HIS TUTOR. 259 00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:53,557 - OH, REALLY? 260 00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:55,393 OH, YOU DID A GOOD JOB. 261 00:14:57,863 --> 00:14:58,996 - I-- I WONDER IF YOU'D CONSIDER 262 00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,898 GIVING HIM ANOTHER CHANCE. 263 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,132 HE KNOWS THE MATERIAL. 264 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,935 WE WENT OVER IT RATHER CONVERSATIONALLY 265 00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:08,506 AND THAT COMES AS NATURAL TO HIM AS STUFF BETWEEN YOUR... 266 00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:15,012 IT COME-- IT COMES REAL NATURAL TO HIM. 267 00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:17,047 - I'M SORRY. I CAN'T TEST HIM TWICE. 268 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,048 WE HAVE RULES. 269 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,050 - WELL, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BEND THE RULES 270 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,018 FOR SPECIAL STUDENTS. 271 00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:23,587 TAKE EINSTEIN. 272 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,989 ( snickers ) - JUST A MOMENT. 273 00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:28,626 ARE YOU COMPARING LARRY WITH EINSTEIN? 274 00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:36,367 - WELL, I-- I WOULDN'T WANT LARRY 275 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,437 WORKING WITH SUBATOMIC PARTICLES. 276 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:45,008 I MEAN, EINSTEIN DIDN'T FIT INTO THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM 277 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,677 AND NEITHER DOES LARRY. 278 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,345 - YOU CLAIM HE KNOWS THE MATERIAL? 279 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,147 - HEY, I'M HIS TUTOR. 280 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:54,084 - ALL RIGHT. I'LL RETEST HIM. 281 00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:58,222 - UM, ORALLY? 282 00:15:58,257 --> 00:15:59,724 - ALRIGHT. ORALLY. 283 00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,428 - ONE MORE THING. 284 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:09,700 UH, COULD YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE JEOPARDY? 285 00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,239 - JEOPARDY? 286 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,306 - THE-- THE GAME SHOW. 287 00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:17,407 THAT'S THE ONE WHERE THEY GIVE YOU THE ANSWER 288 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:21,645 AND THEN YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM THE-- THE QUESTION. 289 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:22,846 - OH, WHAT THE HECK? 290 00:16:22,881 --> 00:16:25,382 IT'LL BE A GREAT STORY FOR THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE. 291 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:28,419 - LARRY, COME ON DOWN. 292 00:16:31,723 --> 00:16:34,225 - OKAY, LARRY. I'M GONNA RE-TEST YOU ORALLY. 293 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:35,292 I'LL GIVE YOU THE ANSWER, BUT... 294 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,693 - OH, LIKE JEOPARDY. 295 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,997 I'LL TAKE "FOREST CREATURES" FOR 100. 296 00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,498 ( clears throat ) - UM, THIS IS MY CLASSROOM. 297 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,667 I'LL PICK THE CATEGORIES. 298 00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:46,303 AMERICAN HISTORY, GEOGRAPHY, MATHEMATICS, 299 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,172 SCIENCE, AND LITERATURE. 300 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:49,273 - I'LL TAKE "AMERICAN HISTORY" 301 00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,075 FOR 200, PAUL. 302 00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,178 - THIS-- THIS IS REALLY NICE OF YOU. 303 00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:06,957 - ALL RIGHT. AMERICAN HISTORY FOR 200. 304 00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:09,759 "EVENT COMMEMORATED EVERY DECEMBER 7TH." 305 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:13,330 - WHAT IS "18 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS"? 306 00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:21,004 - NO, NO. I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE ATTACK ON PEARL HARBOR. 307 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,673 - HE WAS SORT OF RIGHT. 308 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,741 - "SORT OF RIGHT" 309 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,676 DOESN'T WIN ON JEOPARDY, MR. LAUDEN. 310 00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,215 - WHAT IS THE COTTON GIN? 311 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,749 - CORRECT FOR 500. 312 00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,521 ALL RIGHT, LET'S RECAP. 313 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,623 SO FAR, LARRY, YOU HAVE A BORDERLINE D AVERAGE. 314 00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,391 YOU GET THE NEXT ONE RIGHT, YOU'LL HAVE A C MINUS, 315 00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:42,692 BUT IF YOU MISS 316 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,895 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SEND YOU HOME EMPTY-HANDED. 317 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:47,063 ARE YOU READY, LARRY? 318 00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:48,198 - READY, PAUL. 319 00:17:50,535 --> 00:17:52,870 - THE CATEGORY IS SCIENCE FOR 500. 320 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,671 HERE IS YOUR ANSWER. 321 00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:57,174 "THREE THINGS THAT PLANTS AND ANIMALS CAN DO 322 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,710 THAT NON-LIVING THINGS CANNOT." 323 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,779 - WHAT IS GOIN' FROM HERE TO THERE? 324 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,146 - MOVEMENT! THAT'S CORRECT. 325 00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:05,783 - WHAT IS CHOWING DOWN? 326 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:09,019 - NOURISH THEMSELVES. CORRECT! ONE MORE, LARRY. 327 00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:10,754 - WHAT IS PARTYING? 328 00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:12,956 - OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY. 329 00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:16,193 THE CORRECT QUESTION IS "WHAT IS REPRODUCTION." 330 00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:18,762 - I SAID "PARTYING." 331 00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:22,299 - ONE-- ONE MAN'S PARTYING IS ANOTHER MAN'S REPRODUCTION. 332 00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,705 - I'M SORRY, LARRY, BUT YOUR FINAL GRADE IS AN F. 333 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:29,673 BUT WE THANK YOU FOR COMING. 334 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,408 YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD SPORT. 335 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:32,910 GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK. 336 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:39,483 - WAIT. WAIT, UH, WHAT-- WHAT ABOUT FINAL JEOPARDY? 337 00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:41,385 - FINAL JEOPARDY? 338 00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:44,354 - YEAH, THAT'S WHERE I CAN TURN AN F INTO A DIPLOMA 339 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:47,357 BY BETTIN' THE WHOLE BALL OF WAX ON ONE QUESTION. 340 00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,560 - YOU CAN? 341 00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:52,029 - LOOK, WE-- WE DIDN'T MAKE UP THESE RULES. 342 00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:58,535 - OKAY. 343 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:04,208 OKAY, THE CATEGORY IS GEOGRAPHY. 344 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:05,609 - HMM. 345 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,411 - ALL RIGHT, LARRY, FOR A D 346 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:10,480 AND A HIGH SCHOOL EQUIVALENCY DIPLOMA, 347 00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:12,182 YOUR ANSWER IS... 348 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:17,755 ...THE NAMES OF THE SEVEN CONTINENTS OF THE WORLD. 349 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,258 - OH, WAIT. I KNOW THIS ONE. 350 00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:23,594 "TAKE AN ASPIRIN?" 351 00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,696 "CHEW A PILL"? 352 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,499 IT AIN'T COMIN'. 353 00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,704 WELL, THIS AIN'T LIKE FINAL JEOPARDY AT ALL. 354 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:39,042 ( clock ticking ) 355 00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:44,414 ALL RIGHT. 356 00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:45,849 "EAT A PILL"? 357 00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:47,417 "STARVE A FEVER"? 358 00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,426 - THIS HAS TO STOP SOON. 359 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:58,796 I NEVER WORE OUT A HAMMER BEFORE. 360 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,598 - MY ONLY PLEASURE IS IMAGINING 361 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:03,400 THAT EVERY STROKE OF THE RAG 362 00:20:03,435 --> 00:20:07,704 IS PUTTING ANOTHER LINE ON JOANNA'S FACE. 363 00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:10,674 - ACTUALLY, THAT'S HOW I WORE OUT THE HAMMER. 364 00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,311 ( door opens ) 365 00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:26,589 - AS LONG AS YOU TWO ARE HIDING IN THERE, 366 00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:27,824 THE FLOOR NEEDS SCRUBBING 367 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,427 AND THE FLUE IS STUCK IN THE FIREPLACE. 368 00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:32,929 Stephanie: YES, NURSE RATCHED. 369 00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:38,335 - EXCUSE ME. 370 00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:39,536 ARE YOU MRS. LAUDEN? 371 00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:40,571 - YES, CAN I HELP YOU? 372 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,738 - YEAH, WELL, I'M ALAN WOODALL, 373 00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:43,907 THE REVIEWER FOR THE VERMONT TOUR GUIDE. 374 00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:46,443 I BELIEVE YOU KNOW ME AS "BRAIN DEAD." 375 00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:50,947 - WELL, MR. WOODALL, YOU DID TAKE AWAY 376 00:20:50,982 --> 00:20:52,349 ONE OF OUR MAPLE LEAVES. 377 00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:53,283 - I DID? 378 00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:55,051 - HERE, SEE FOR YOURSELF. 379 00:20:57,155 --> 00:20:58,521 TWO MAPLE LEAVES. 380 00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:00,190 - YEAH, THAT'S TWO MAPLE LEAVES ALL RIGHT. 381 00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:01,859 BUT THAT'S NOT YOUR INN. 382 00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:04,395 THAT'S THE PARK & SNOOZE. 383 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,329 - HUH? 384 00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:06,363 - YEAH, YOU SEE? 385 00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:07,597 YOU WERE READIN' THE WRONG COLUMN. 386 00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,032 HERE, LOOK. LOOK. 387 00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:12,102 "THE PARK & SNOOZE: TWO MAPLE LEAVES. 388 00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:15,105 THE STRATFORD, THREE MAPLE LEAVES." 389 00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:16,206 - OH, MY GOODNESS. 390 00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:19,276 - YEAH. WHO'S GOT DEAD BRAINS NOW? 391 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,845 - OH, MR. WOODALL, I'M SO EMBARRASSED. 392 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:24,548 PLEASE STAY HERE TONIGHT, OUR TREAT, FREE. 393 00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:25,648 - NO THANK YOU. 394 00:21:25,684 --> 00:21:28,085 THERE'S A FOUR-MAPLE-LEAF INN DOWN THE ROAD. 395 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,553 ( laughing ) 396 00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:39,029 - HI, HONEY. - DICK, LARRY, HOW'D IT GO? 397 00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:40,196 - HI. 398 00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:42,265 I'M LARRY, HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE. 399 00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:43,800 - LARRY! 400 00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:48,572 CONGRATULATIONS. 401 00:21:48,607 --> 00:21:49,773 - THANKS. 402 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:52,543 SORRY I COULDN'T REMEMBER THEM SEVEN CONTINENTS YOUR WAY. 403 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:54,878 I CAN ONLY SEEM TO LEARN THEM IN DESCENDING ORDER 404 00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:56,446 OF GROSS NATIONAL PRODUCT. 405 00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:01,685 DARRYL, I WON'T KEEP YOU TWO HANGIN' ON MEAT HOOKS. 406 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:02,986 I PASSED. 407 00:22:10,963 --> 00:22:12,529 - OH, I'VE GOT GOOD NEWS TOO. 408 00:22:12,564 --> 00:22:14,564 IT TURNS OUT I'VE BEEN READING THE VERMONT TOUR GUIDE 409 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,735 ALL WRONG. WE HAD THREE MAPLE LEAVES ALL ALONG. 410 00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:18,736 - WELL, THANK GOODNESS 411 00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:21,205 YOU DIDN'T GET ALL WORKED UP OVER IT. 412 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,639 ( clanking ) 413 00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:23,673 ( gasps ) - I'D BETTER TELL GEORGE AND STEPHANIE. 414 00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:25,709 AT LEAST THEY WON'T HAVE TO DO ANY MORE WORK. 415 00:22:27,479 --> 00:22:30,180 - IT'S NICE TO KNOW YOU FELLAS HAVE SO MUCH CONFIDENCE IN ME. 416 00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:31,581 BUT WHAT IF I'D FAILED? 417 00:22:38,758 --> 00:22:39,957 - WELL, I TOLD THEM. 418 00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:41,425 I MUST SAY, THEY BOTH TOOK IT BETTER 419 00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:42,893 THAN I EXPECTED THEY WOULD. 420 00:22:50,769 --> 00:22:54,271 ( theme music playing ) 421 00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,030 Man's voice: MEOW. 29631

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